Chapter 21: The Sign

He'd seen this coming, and he'd let it happen anyway.

"But why isn't Laura coming to dinner?"

"She's working on her new book," Bill told Lee for the third time in an hour.

Lee frowned, like he knew Bill was holding back something, and he didn't appreciate wasting his time digging for it.

It reminded Bill of his father, and it irritated him.

"But why-" Lee began.

"Take your brother outside, will you?" Bill interrupted. "It's a beautiful day. Go play in it."

Lee's crossed arms did not improve Bill's temperament. "But Dad-"

"Now, Lee."

Lee didn't move.

Maybe it shouldn't have surprised Bill that his son had apparently forgotten the rules.

He'd abandoned enough of his own, lately.

Bill didn't get involved with cranky, noise-phobic writers. He didn't date women too brittle for broken windows and furry dogs. He didn't date the woman next door, period. He didn't stare out of windows wondering what she was doing, he didn't time his morning routine so he could smile at her when she stumbled blearily into her kitchen for coffee, he didn't let his mind wander from blueprints to ridiculous fantasies about lazy Sundays and crossword puzzles in bed. He didn't get attached to someone he could so easily lose. Not anymore.

And he certainly didn't let Zak and Lee get attached.

Ten days ago, Bill had fallen asleep next to Laura, her head pillowed on his chest, her legs curled around his, that glorious scent of jasmine and freesia settling into his bedroom, changing it, making it into a space they shared, a room that wasn't just his anymore, but theirs.

In the morning, when he'd woken up after a full night with a woman for the first time since his divorce, he'd broken the most important rule of all: he'd imagined a future.

They'd sneak down to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee before the kids woke up. Zak and Lee would be surprised to see her there, but they'd be happy, too. Maybe they'd all make pancakes together, the four of them, have breakfast together...like a family.

And then Laura had woken up, and her thoughts hadn't been nearly so pleasant.

If she'd said she was worried they were moving too fast, if she'd wanted to leave before Zak and Lee saw her there, he'd have understood. He'd have kissed her goodbye (for the morning, for the moment), he'd have told her he'd see her for their usual dinner on Wednesday, and he'd have watched her creep down the stairs and across the driveway, his shirt on her back a promise of days and nights and conversations to come.

Instead, she'd bolted out of his bed, barely pausing to dress before running from his home like it was on fire, and his favorite faded blue flannel became another thing he hadn't realized he'd come to depend on until it was gone.

He hadn't seen her since.

"Can we call Laura later? I want to tell her about my new murder idea."

"Take your brother outside," Bill managed.

"But-"

"Now, Leeland."

Even Lee didn't dare argue with him when he used that tone. With a final dark glare for his father and a resentful "C'mom, Zak," for his brother, Lee headed for the door, muttering under his breath, just quietly enough that Bill couldn't quite make out what he was saying. The door slammed behind him.

She'd called. Two days later, late Thursday morning, when he was at work, when, an unkind voice in his mind whispered, she knew he'd be at work.

He'd picked up anyway.

"Bill," she said, the surprise in her voice an unpleasant confirmation. A shiver passed through him, despite the muggy air, the hot Qualai sun beating down on his shoulders. "I'm glad I could reach you."

It was a lie, and they both knew it.

"I want...I need to explain about the other day." She paused. He could tell she was choosing her words with careful precision, and it stung. "That night was...lovely. But, in the morning-"

But in the morning it was too real, but in the morning she'd known she'd made a mistake, but in the morning she hadn't been able to wait before she got away from him.

He knew it already, and he couldn't bear to hear it in Laura's voice.

"You don't have to explain anything," he interrupted. "I understand."

She was silent, and all Bill could think about was Carolanne's hasty scrawl, her clothes missing from their closet, the weeks he'd spent explaining to Lee, over and over, that his mother wasn't coming back.

"I have to go up to Caprica City," she said at last. "I'm not sure when I'll be back."

His fingers gripped the phone tighter, but his voice was steady. "Have a safe trip."

He hadn't waited to hear her say goodbye.

The door creaked open, and Bill prayed to gods he'd never believed in to give him the patience and fortitude to survive his oldest child.

"Lee-"

"Dad, why is there a 'For Sale' sign in Laura's yard?"

Bill closed his eyes.

He'd seen this coming, and he'd let it happen anyway.