The Topology of Compassion

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer

Chapter 21: Trust

A month was a painstakingly long time to wait. It was a month of nightmares, of sleepless nights, of fights and frustrations, and rebuilt trusts and partnerships. It was a time of unspoken dependencies, of love and for the blind construction made in the dark without the light of their shared sun which had previously guided their way.

Not having Michael around made the building feel so much more derelict; like it was but a visage of what it had been back during the Kira case. It wasn't the same, though. It was hollow and cold. As though the only thing now providing any amount of warmth and life to the walls was the two successors presence and interactions with one another. Never before would Mello have thought that things would come to this.

Mello stood at the wide, glass windows overlooking the New York city from within the now shared apartment with a bar of chocolate held between his teeth, feeling the constant plague of his own inability to ease his troubled thoughts. Diffuse moonlight and subtle lights from the other buildings filtered into the space, casting the area in somber illumination.

Going a year without Michael had been excruciating, but at least back then he had had the comfort of being able to tell himself that the boy was with Near, and that had been enough to keep him going with only minimal worries.

But now… Who could say?

To his right the door to the bedroom was pulled open, breaking the blonde from his thoughts as he looked over to see Near stepping out, the gaze in his gray eyes somehow almost oblivious to his presence entirely. Though after all this time Mello could hardly say he was surprised. "Can't sleep?" He asked unnecessarily. After all, neither of them really had been able to since the meeting with River.

The younger genius shook his head, "No…" He uttered as he made his way to the middle of the room to where his toys waited. "To be completely honest I haven't been feeling too well, actually."

Mello immediately turned more towards him, physically giving him his attention; unconsciously using this as a means by which to distract his thoughts from where they'd been previously. "The stress is making you sick." He concluded, then leaving the wide window in favor of moving over to one of the white couches surrounding Near's play area and sitting down.

Near shook his head, "Don't jump to conclusions so quickly, it's just nerves making me nauseous."

Mello's brow creased together, snapping off a bit of his chocolate, "You don't get nervous."

Near's actions which had been opening various boxes of dice came to an immediate halt, his steely eyes sliding over to Mello. "Michael has been in the possession of not only the Mafia, but River, for one month. If there is ever a time for which I feel I am justified to feel nervous, I believe now would be it."

Of course he certainly had a point… but regardless, just knowing that Near was so affected by the events was unsettling. After all, this was Near, the person who had confronted Kira head on without ever treating him as anything more than just another piece in his larger game. That was just how Near had always been. Yet… Mello figured this was much more difficult of a situation for the younger to try and keep himself separate from. Impossible, even.

Finally Mello nodded simply in response, the disparity laden within both the space and their situation suffocating not only Near, but him as well. Perhaps, he decided, he could change gears on this perpetual conversation they'd been having for a month. Even just for a few precious seconds. Even just to have Near tell him that he was absurd, again. Anything that resembled normalcy was better than this.

A small grin appeared on his face, "What do you want to do after?" He asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, though Near barely released more than a simple questioning 'hm' in response. "After all of this is over." He clarified.

Again Near's movements in constructing his dice tower stopped as his attention turned to Mello entirely, something in his stare trying to discern just where the blonde was going with this. "That's not our concern right now. Stay focused." Near was always so to the point… never willing to do anything fun or adventurous even within the vastness of his own imagination, let alone dare to let himself dream.

How many years had that very mentality made Mello doubt himself and question even his own mental capacity as a child? Yet somewhere along the way he had found the ability and the strength to stop trying to imitate Near's process. Instead he allowed himself dream, and used Near as his anchor to keep him grounded in what was real. However, occasionally he found that if he pulled hard enough against that anchor he could just barely feel himself pulling both himself, and Near up away from the Earth even just by a few inches. And that made it all worth it.

"Humor me." He goaded him on.

Near sighed as he meticulously placed each individual dice atop one another. "Assuming that we are successful, as far as I'm concerned nothing major happens after that. Life goes back to some semblance of normal." Gray eyes narrowed just slightly on the blonde who watched him. "Whether you decide to stay or leave after that is entirely your decision." Moments like those and statements like that often made Mello wonder if Near even truly cared one way or the other. But history with the younger also told him that if Near didn't care those same offers, however vague they were, would never be made.

He snapped another piece off from his chocolate bar as a wider smirk developed across his face, "We could always get married."

Near's grip on his dice faltered just enough for one corner of the base of the tower he'd constructed to fall. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Marry me. I'll get a ring and everything."

Those slate eyes remained transfixed on Mello, analyzing every detail of his features and words as though to determine whether or not he was kidding. Perhaps he had been kidding, Mello considered to himself, but the more he watched the way Near put more weight onto it, the more he did as well, and so he held his silence.

Finally, Near looked away, "We don't have time for your absurd antics."

Mello let out a heavy breath of satisfaction, "I'll take that as a yes, then."

Near huffed, as suddenly the door to the apartment opened, "Don't just assume things. That being said, assuming that you even make it that long, then I suppose we'll see what happens." He stated as they both turned to see Commander Rester entering into the room, his image a surprising sight after being absent from the building for the month while they waited.

Immediately, Mello felt himself tense up as Near greeted him casually. "Welcome back, Rester. I apologize for having dismissed you from work for such a long duration of time, but considering the situation we now face, it was in most everyone's benefit."

Rester's light eyes were trained on Near's momentarily as he took in his words before they strayed away to look around the room, searching for the one thing that couldn't be found. Mello crossed his arms, "That's the situation." He murmured quietly, snapping another piece off of his quickly diminishing treat.

"What's going on?" Rester questioned with reasonable suspicion.

Near turned back to his dice tower, "Michael was taken."

"What?!" The sound practically exploded from Rester, shock taking over his every feature as his look shot over to Mello, silently accusing him with nothing but his stare. "What happened?"

Mello's own look narrowed defensively, daring the older man to try anything, or even say the wrong thing to him. He may have deserved to be berated by Near, but he wasn't about to put up with that from Rester. "Our location was compromised. The details aren't so important as much as acting, now." Near told him.

Even from across the darkened room Mello could see the way Rester's jaw locked in place, though he nodded nonetheless and stepped further into the room, moving to take a seat on the white couch opposite of Mello. He could see how much it bothered him to not be given the fine details of what had occurred, but the blonde knew that for the sake of any remaining shreds of solidarity, the less Rester knew the better. "Acting?" Rester questioned.

Near nodded. "Currently, Michael is being held captive by the Mafia. While he has been there, though, he has been left under the supervision of a woman by the name of River, who has also been our mole into the organization. We gave the organization a month of silence in order to convince them that Mello had left the country as per their demands, but instead we're going to infiltrate the organization. From there, River will get us Michael, and it will fall onto you, Rester, and Mello to take down Boss, the spider controlling the web of the Mafia." Near's explanation came out so simple, as though it was nothing but just another list.

Something in the ease of its transmission told Mello that Near had been rehearsing the plan to himself repeatedly. "Most of the members will be dead, or in the very least dying at the hands of a poison that River has been administering. After that, the task will be a bit easier for you to carry out." He concluded, placing another dice atop the quickly growing tower.

Rester's light eyes flicked over to Mello skeptically. "The two of us are going in there alone?"

"No, of course not. I've organized a team of officers who will provide back up, dealing with the members who may still be alive so that your total focus can remain on getting Michael out, and eliminating Boss." It all seemed so scrupulously formulated and calculated, just like Near and his manner of doing everything.

"When?"

"Tonight. I'm done waiting and following the wants of criminals." Near stated definitely, leaving no room for obligations. The finality of his words sent a sudden wave of nervousness flowing through Mello's being; at once feeling apprehensive to act for more reasons than just the safety of Michael through all of this. All of the facts and all of the variables for all of them, not just Michael, were beginning to play through his mind and at once the blonde couldn't help thinking that perhaps Near was planning things a bit too blindly… or rather, a bit too focused on those two goals, rather than seeing the entire picture of what was at stake.

"Mello, contact River."

Mello snapped off another piece of chocolate, "Yeah, fine." But the only movement he made was to stand up, "But first, if we're going to do this then we have to properly prepare for what's about to happen. Come on, Near."

Both sets of eyes moved to Mello at once, the skepticism exuded off them positively dripping out of the air itself. "Mello?"

He sighed, "For once would you not question everything I do and just follow me?"

Another moment of tense silence passed until Near finally relented and stood from within the chaos of his construction. "As I said, we're carrying this out tonight, so meet Mello downstairs in fifteen minutes. Ready any offense you think you'll need, Commander."

Rester's look moved between the two, questioning everything going on both in terms of their preparedness measures and Mello's intent before he finally nodded. With that established, the two successors exited from the room, Mello leading the way to the elevator.

"What's this about, now?" Near questioned.

"If you're so smart then just figure it out on your own."

Near exhaled a bit, reaching up for a strand of his white hair, "I have a few ideas, but there are too many variables at the moment to decide on anything conclusive. Regardless, we should be starting this now, not wasting time like this." He said as they stepped into the elevator.

This time Mello sighed, turning to him, "Everything I do isn't a waste of time, alright? Shut up and trust me for once in your damn life." He bit his tongue to hold back his frustrations with the younger, "Listen, I know what I'm doing and I know what we're getting into first hand. Not you. Still… that doesn't mean…" His words immediately dropped off, because for as much time as he had passed, and despite all that they had been through and developed together, Mello still found it difficult to relate his most honest feelings, that he was scared of charging into the void this last time.

They rode the elevator down in silence, finally reaching the selected floor and exiting out. "What are we doing here?" Near questioned, but Mello left the question hanging in the air without a response.

The floor they were on was the one harboring the apartment on the lower floor which Mello had been given to stay at, and where he'd lived off and on during the months they'd been together since his return. Entering into the living space, Near looked around the area, the feeling of confusion emanating off him in a way Mello wished he could prolong for as long as he could, for moments like this didn't come his way too often.

From the entrance he led the way into the bedroom, where the bed had been left unmade and an array of forgotten clothes were still strewn carelessly on the floor. But it was to the bedside table that he went, pulling the drawer open.

From inside, he drew out a gun.

Near's look of confusion only deepened, "What is..." Something in his loss of words said that this had not been even remotely within a range of things that could happen.

"I've had this gun for a long time. It's been with me all the way back to L.A. It's protected me during some of the worst and darkest times of my life, and saved me from so many instances where I should have been killed." He spun the gun around, offering the handle out to Near, "And now I'm giving it to you."

Mello's eyes were steadfast on the younger, who's own gray eyes waved between the offered handle and up to the blonde. "Mello, I don't-"

"I know." He paused, letting Near's eyes come up to lock on him, "I know you don't use, or even like weapons. Believe me, I know. But… we're going into something big here, Near, and you might think you have everything planned perfectly but I've been there and I know this organization. So trust me when I say that there's no telling what they might do, or what they might know. If Rester is coming with me and there's no one here…" He trailed off, feeling almost embarrassed for the worries plaguing his thoughts. But he knew they were valid concerns, "Take it. For me."

Near sighed, but still didn't move to take the offered pistol. "I don't even know how to use a gun, so I hardly see how leaving me with one will be of any real use, let alone assuage your worries."

Mello resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "It will the same way I left Michael with you despite how often you told me you weren't a fit parent. He still turned out fine, didn't he?"

Regardless, he stepped forward, wrapping Near's hands around the handle of the silver gun the proper way they were supposed to be positioned, yet keeping his own over top of Near's so the younger didn't drop it from the unexpected weight. "There's not much to it. The magazine is full and I'll leave the safety off, but don't touch the trigger." Their eyes locked together. "You're not exactly strong, so you need to keep your arms locked tight and brace yourself for the kickback it's going to send. Don't aim for the chest or you'll just be wasting bullets if they have Kevlar on. You have a wonderfully trained eye, so don't screw up by shooting blindly. You need to make use of every bullet you've got."

He raised Near's arms up, putting the barrel of the gun against his neck, feeling the way the cold metal kissed his heated flesh and the simultaneous burn of Near's eyes. "You need to aim here." He explained, then pulling the barrel up to his forehead, "Or here. There's really nothing to it, just hold your breath and pull the trigger as hard as you can."

Something faltered in Near's stare just slightly, some part of him was visibly bothered by being trusted to hold Mello's own prized gun against him. "Mello, stop."

He finally relented, letting the gun be lowered back down between them, though both their stare and Mello's grip over Near's hands and the weapon remained together, "Trust me, if this place gets infiltrated, you'll learn what to do real fast."

Near was the one to break their locked stares, moving down to the gun, "Nothing is going to happen."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." Mello stated, finally letting go of the pistol. Leaving such a precious item with someone else made a deep-seated part of him nervous, especially considering what he was about to charge into. But that wasn't to say that Near wasn't more important to him than some weapon, and it was for that exact reason that he resigned to let it reside with Near; to protect him when Mello wasn't around to do it.

He then took a step away from the younger, unsure of what exactly to say to him, if there was really anything at all that could be said. In some strange way this tense moment felt eerily similar to when he'd left Near a year ago, when he'd went to the younger's residence with his head full of words just looking for his rival to pull them out of him and tell him what he was supposed to do. But it hadn't come, he'd been left plagued and weighted down by all the things they should have said in those moments.

"Mello."

He looked back at the younger and again their eyes came to meet, this time both sets of orbs reflecting all the things that they both wanted and needed to say. Just like before. But this time, instead of a wall of agendas standing in opposition and effectively obscuring communication, instead they stood on the same side with one another, looking at one another and seeing straight into the depths of one another's souls.

Near, though, was the one to finally release an exhale and cross the minimal space that had developed between them. Gently he reached up, entangling his fingers into the silky strands of blonde hair. "I have everything under control. Try not to worry."

Mello scoffed, "Speak for yourself."

"I'm speaking for both of us. We've come a long way from where we were with Kira. Things are so much different than they were then." With his words, the fingers that were locked in Mello's hair tugged them closer together, bringing him down to lock their lips together. The gentle feeling of Near's lips gently touching his own sent off a spark between them, igniting a fire in Mello like nothing else ever had, or ever could. But beyond that, something in the softness of Near's lips seemed to remind him of everything he, that they, were fighting for.

The moment together felt like a lifetime, but even that was too shot when Near pulled away, his gaze unwavering in their determination as they peered straight through the blonde's azure orbs. "Nonetheless, you had better come back this time. If you don't, you'll never get that wedding of yours."

Mello smirked, pushing his forehead against Near's, "I'm going to make you wear a dress and everything."

"Not even in your wildest dreams." Near pressed one final kiss to Mello's lips before lightly pushing him away towards the door, his fingers moving up to his own hair as he muttered, "Go. We have work to do."

Mello smirked, hearing the underlying affection in Near's words, and for the briefest of moments he found himself hesitating to go any further away than he already was. The finality of the moment made every action feel as though he was trudging through sand. Leaving before had been so easy. But now… "Yeah. I'll see you at the finish line."

"I'll be waiting for you."

-:-

Within the dreary and dimly lit medical office and examination room, River sat at her desk, her intense brown eyes trailing over the lines of her old research notes, allowing every word to transport her back to the moment she'd written them, feeling almost the same adrenalin she had then. It was addicting, really. Even now, so many years later, there was still so much information locked within the pages of her files that begged her to expound upon and find more answers to. The thought set her nerves on fire for a real challenge, after so long.

She'd spent so many years closing bullet wounds and saving lives that it only seemed right that she finally be allowed to return o her true calling: furthering the evolutionary capabilities of the human existence. How badly she wanted nothing more than that; to continue working where her and her husband had left off.

From across the room, the sound of a heavy sigh broke her train of thought, bringing her back to the sorry state of her current reality. "What?" She asked in irritation without moving her gaze from the page.

"Do you want to play a game?" The small voice of Michael chimed in from across the room from where he sat on the bed in the corner she'd given to him at the beginning of this arduous month. It hadn't been hard for her to convince the guards to let her keep hold over Michael, but what had been difficult was putting up with the childish boredom he seemed constantly wrought with. What sort of child couldn't just entertain themselves, or in the very least find a way to make themselves useful?

"I've told you before, no."

Again he sighed, and the room went quiet again. But River's look remained still without even daring to begin reading again, instead counting down.

"Can I have some toys to play with, then?" It'd barely taken him five seconds.

"No."

"Can we go outside, then?"

"No." Living with this small blonde child had been a constant reminder for why she'd only ever had one child.

He huffed in dissatisfaction, "But why? We never get to do anything. All we've been doing is sitting around all the time! I want to be able to play!"

"Do you have any idea what time it is? It's the middle of the night. You should be asleep anyway." Though, even as she said it she supposed that perhaps part of the boys bad sleep schedule had been partly her fault considering the fact that her examination room lacked any windows, thus destroying any semblance of a concept of the passage of time. Though, that was probably partially the point during the construction of the building.

"Nu uh. I'm bored. I can't sleep when I'm bored." There was suddenly a shuffling from across the room, followed by the padding of his feet against the concrete floor until Michael came to stand beside her cluttered desk. "Can I at least help you work?" There was a small trace of excitement to his words that made River's stain crawl from his own blind ignorance.

She placed the paper down on the desk in defeat, turning the rolling chair towards the boy, "You want to help?" She questioned.

The boy nodded, his gray eyes coming alive within the dim light of the incandescent bulbs that hung throughout the room, "Yeah! Sometimes my mama lets me help with the cases he's working on. I don't really know how to solve those cases, but at least I get to try! He even said I could do his job someday if I try hard enough!"

Her jaw locked, "Your mother is a very foolish person, Michael. Maybe he foolishly allows you to pretend like you're helping, but I'm not so blinded by your antics. What could I even possibly tell you that you could help me with? Can you measure out chemicals? Can you take notes on observable reactions? Can you administer toxin to the targets?"

With each question she asked Michael's shoulders slumped more into themselves, the fire that had so quickly been kindled in his eyes dying in them just as fast. "I don't know…" He mumbled.

"The answer is no, you can't."

"I could try! I'm really smart. I can do lots of things."

She rolled her eyes, "You're a child. Your usefulness or practical knowledge of certain skills is severely limited."

Michael looked away, "I miss Mama, and Daddy, and Rester. At least they played with me some of the time…" He said with a downtrodden expression. With that he finally left the side of River's desk, returning to his bed and lying on his side, "I wanna go home…"

She turned her chair around to look at him curiously. "You've been saying that for a month. Do you really want to go back so badly? Have you ever thought that perhaps you're just asking the wrong questions? Rather than focus on your childish wants, consider instead all off the things you could learn from being here, with me. You know, if you stayed here I assure you I could teach you many fun things." She stood from her desk as she spoke, going over to the side of the room where the drawers of carefully organized medical supplies were.

At her mention of fun Michael perked up, as though entirely funneling out every other word she'd said, "What kinds of things? Rester teaches me things, but a lot of it is boring."

She chuckled, opening cupboards and pulling out individual bottles of different medicines and anesthetic. "What I offer is the study of science, and I assure you it is far from boring." She paused as she opened a drawer containing various scalpels and syringes, "I could show you, if you'd like."

Michael sat up a bit, nodding. "If it's fun, I want to see!"

She nodded with a smile, taking one of the vials and a syringe and one of the scalpels. "Are you sure about that?"

He nodded vigorously. "Yeah, you've been so boring, so of course I'm sure!"

A sick grin grew across her features, entirely ignoring his insult. "Alright, then with pleasure I shall show you. But remember: you're the one who asked for this."

He nodded as she came over to his bed, laying down the materials on a side table. "Now, lie back and I'll do the rest."

Michael did as told, though as his gray orbs took sight of the items she brought with her his look immediately began to grow wary, though he shifted on his back as he'd been told, a part of him now afraid to question her or what was going to happen. She began to raise his shirt up, revealing flawless white skin. "This will work just fine. First, we-"

Ring!

"Dammit." From inside her lab coat there came the bothersome sound of her cell phone ringing in her pocket. Standing up she huffed in annoyance and took a step away, fishing out the bothersome object up and flipping it open, "Yes?"

There was a pause, as Mello's voice came from the other side, short and curt with her in stating that they had decided to implement their plans of infiltration for that very night. Unconsciously a smile wrapped its way across her lips. "I see, thank you for letting me know in advance. I'll begin the final preparations. I'm sure I'll be seeing you."

That was all that needed said between them, so with that she closed the phone once more, dropping the device back down into her pocket as she turned back to Michael, who watched her with wide, curious eyes. "Who was that?" He asked.

She shook her head, going back to where she'd been sitting on the side of his bed. "That's not important." She stated. "What is important is that our previous endeavors with science are going to have to wait for now. Instead we're going to get to play a game of a much different variety tonight."

"We're getting to play a game?" Michael asked, excitedly. "What kind of game?"

The adrenaline was flooding through the older woman's veins as she began to consider all that was about to happen to the two of them, and how everything was beginning to fall into place. Her hand slipped over to where she'd left the medical tools, taking hold of the forgotten scalpel and examining her own reflected smirk in the flawless metal. "The name of this particular game is: Get Out Alive, and already it's promising to be very interesting, indeed."

A/N: To be completely honest, I'm not exactly sure if I'm actually pleased with this chapter, or fearful of it. On one hand, so many things turned out just right for a change! But on the other hand, so many things didn't. Like Michael. There's always something that takes some work getting back into the flow of, I suppose. Anyway! There's only a few more chapters of this story left and I've already got it all planned out! So that should be happening soon. As always I would love to hear any thoughts you may have about this, so please be sure to send them my way!

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-Forbiddensoul562