I'm going to be making a few small edits to earlier chapters here and there. I was reading back through everything and I noticed an inconsistency that drove me insane. Apparently, I decided in the 2nd chapter that it was winter, without considering the implication that I needed Bella to be home from college if she was going to school. Whoops. For the record, when I decided later that it was early summer, that was accurate for the purposes of this story. I'm betting I'll find some other things too. I shouldn't need to change anything major that would require anyone to go back and reread anything, but if for some reason some major change comes up, I'll let you know in the author's notes.

I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

Chapter Twenty One – Possibilities

I did admire this universe's Edward for one reason: He had managed to keep Bella human. How he had achieved this, I couldn't begin to guess. Including my own universe, I had been to five different worlds. This was the first I had visited where Bella seemed to be Edward's mate and was still a human. All the same, her humanity seemed to come at a price in this place. I kept going over Bella's odd behavior with me. She'd known precisely who I was, or at least, who I seemed to be, but she had not handled herself in the easy, blissful way I'd grown to expect. She seemed to be nearly crawling out of her own skin and I wasn't sure that her thinking patterns were clear. Offering me human food? Thinking that I wouldn't want to wait for her to get dressed, or worse, that I wouldn't keep my word and show up as planned? Perhaps when Edward left her after her 18th birthday, the effects on this Bella had been more permanent. But what could have changed? Maybe she had never fallen in love with Jacob Black. He had been the one to heal her heart and hold her together during my absence. I shuddered slightly to imagine how Bella would have turned out without his help. This didn't seem to be a completely inconceivable theory.

I arrived at my family's house and paused only briefly to check who was inside. Everyone seemed to be home, except for Carlisle, who would be working at the hospital at this hour. Once I detected Edward's mind inside, there was little point in lingering further. He would notice me and inform everyone of my presence momentarily. I knocked twice to announce my presence, then entered.

The scene was more or less as I expected. Alice was distraught that she hadn't seen me. Rosalie fretted over whether she should call Carlisle, ultimately deciding to do so. I waited for the larger portion of my explanation until he could arrive. Esme was just delighted that I was all right, though confused about what had brought me here. Jasper was wary of the constant state of turmoil of my emotions. Emmett, upon determining that I was not a threat to any of his loved ones, invited me to join him in playing his latest video game, a rather mindless one where legions of opponents were massacred. I gladly accepted his invitation. We're not going player versus player though. You always cheat!

Edward was wary of my presence and trying to pick out an explanation from my thoughts. I blocked him, having learned how to do so fairly effectively by now. Never having needed to block his own thoughts, Edward wasn't quite as successful. His thoughts drifted frequently to Bella, then he would become aware that I was listening and try to block them again. He understood the general technique from observing what his family members had done over the years, and he struggled to duplicate their efforts. How do they manage to do this so often… His pondering was not meant for me, so I ignored it.

Playing in co-operative mode with Emmett was fun, I had to admit. He would choose his targets and I picked them out of his mind, going for other targets instead. Between the advantages that my gifts offered and our superior reflexes, we were able to mow through several levels without even being touched. When Carlisle arrived and we had to stop playing, Emmett was slightly perturbed.

"Edward, you've got to play with me sometimes. It works really well! That's further than I usually get with Jasper. If you'd just get your head back where it belongs and stop having it wrapped around that girl…"

Edward did not reply with words , but his low hiss was response enough to quiet Emmett.

Carlisle greeted me warmly, inviting me to sit at the head of the table to discuss my presence. Recalling how this arrangement had a tendency to result in broken tables, I politely asked that we have the conversation in a less formal setting instead. He was slightly confused, but not at all put off by my request. I began my explanation, as always, with the fact that I was from a different universe and my family had created a device to enable me to travel from one world to another. I stopped there, waiting for Alice's now-customary query of why Bella was not accompanying me on this journey.

The question never came.

I looked expectantly at Alice, trying to silently prompt her for the next question so that I could continue. I wasn't sure why this seemed so vital to me; naturally, I could have continued to explain without her question. By now though, I was used to carrying out this conversation in a specific manner. Things changed from one universe to the next, certainly, and my explanation from this point forward brought out varying degrees of emotion in different members of the family. One thing that had been constant in every universe, excepting the one where Edward was dead, was that Alice had inquired as to the whereabouts of my mate. I supposed that I clung to this one piece of consistency between worlds, and in the absence of this small comfort, I was at a loss.

Alice began to shift uncomfortably on the couch. Why is he looking at me like that? Is he waiting for me to tell him something? I already told him my visions don't seem work right with him. Of course, they don't work right with the other Edward anyway, so why should he be any different? Jasper sensed her distress and a small wave of calm settled over the room. It was truly for the best that he had done so; the silence was beginning to make everyone anxious.

With the aid of the sudden tranquility I was feeling, I was able to compose myself enough to continue speaking. "I'm sorry Alice," I began, "it's just that ordinarily, at this point, you always ask the same question. I'm afraid I've grown to expect it a bit more than I should." I was mildly embarrassed by my rudeness.

My sister relaxed at hearing this explanation for the strange look I'd given her. "Oh, okay. What was I supposed to ask you? Umm… Your clothes look all right. Maybe you should take a shower though, your hair has a lot of dirt in it."

I considered that for a moment. It had been more than a week since I'd showered. Vampires didn't have human bodily fluids that contributed to odors, but dirt and grime accumulated on me at the normal rate. I probably did need to wash up. Nevertheless, it was odd to me that Alice still didn't ask about Bella, even after knowing that I'd been waiting for a specific reaction from her.

"Bella?" Edward responded to my thoughts out loud, aghast.

Rosalie made an exaggerated scoffing sound and started to get up to leave the room. Emmett grasped her hand and whispered for her to stay a few more minutes. She reluctantly complied, but now she was glaring at me openly. Alice looked nervous, gripping Jasper's arm tightly.

"What does Bella have to do with this?" Carlisle asked, imploring me to continue my story.

I gaped at him, not comprehending. "Bella has everything to do with this," I said simply. When I did not immediately offer additional information, Esme spoke up.

"I'm not sure that we're all on the same page, dear. Our Edward has been very preoccupied with Bella for a long time. Alice keeps fighting with him, all of the time. His indecision has been giving her headaches, making his future difficult to see clearly. He finally did make a decision some years ago to stay away from Bella, but Alice went against his wishes and befriended Bella herself. This made it very difficult for Edward to go through with his plans of leaving Forks. We're still here, and Edward struggles every day with trying to stay away from Bella."

"I slip up sometimes," Edward confessed. "It is difficult to stay away, much more difficult than I'd imagined it would be. But as long as Alice spends time with Bella, I know that she will remain safe."

I blinked several times. "So Bella is not your… You and she are not…" I tried to think of a way to phrase the question that wouldn't upset Edward, but I failed. I finally settled on "You are not in love with her?"

Seven pairs of vampire eyes stared at my counterpart. At last, he sighed. "Of course I'm in love with her. She cannot ever feel the same about me. How could she? I'm a monster. A heartless, unthinking, bloodthirsty demon, and there can be no future for the two of us."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Neither do I," Alice's voice was sharp when she spoke, and her irritation was directed squarely at Edward. "You love her. I can tell that she loves you too. Sometimes in my visions, I can see the two of you happy together. Then you change your mind and she's back to being nervous and you're back to moping around. Why do you do this to the both of you? You're my brother and I love you. Bella's my friend and I love her. I hate to see either one of you upset when the answer is so easy!"

Edward ripped apart one of Esme's pillows in his fury. I was silently glad that I'd insisted on having this conversation in the living room. A pillow would be far easier to replace than a table. "What would you have me do, Alice? I could never keep from her what I am, what we are if we were together! Would you have me break our highest law? Put our entire family in danger? Put Bella in danger, all because you think it could all work out based on some visions you get when I am at my weakest? It's not an option!"

Slowly, the pieces were beginning to come together. Edward had spent the last 4 years trying, with mixed success, to stay away from Bella. It went without saying that he was very much in love with her, but he still believed, as I once had, that she would never be able to return his feelings. Was he blind? She was plainly in love with him, that much had been apparent. It dawned on me that her unusual behavior was not the result of any damage to her mental state, but due to her nervousness at being in my presence. She was in love with Edward, and was uncertain as to how to behave in front of him to try to attract his affections in return. She had offered me human food because she had no reason to believe that Edward was anything other than a human. Her remarks about speaking to her this week were not dissimilar from how she had reacted when I had begun to talk to her, I realized. I was relieved that she seemed to be in perfect health.

Perfect health… "Alice, how were you able to deal with Bella's condition a few years ago?"

"Oh, you knew about that? Bella considers me to be her best friend. It's not easy to convince her that I'm not suffering from an eating disorder. Sometimes I have to eat human food to placate her," Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Anyway, when I got the vision about her diagnosis, I collaborated with the family on what to tell her. Edward was beside himself, of course, and didn't offer a lot of contributions, but between the rest of us, we decided to research Bella's family tree to see if she had a history of that kind of problem. Sure enough, it was genetic in her case. I told her that I'd recently gotten really excited about genealogy and insisted that she let me research her family. She protested, but I pouted a lot about how I couldn't research my own family because I was adopted and didn't know anything about them. She finally agreed, then we "found" her relatives and I convinced her that she should get screened, just in case. It was caught so early that she didn't even suffer any long-term effects!" Alice said proudly.

"No long-term effects? So she is physically able to have children?" Alice must have been able to catch the problem far earlier here. That meant that she was able to see Bella's future more clearly. Either Bella's relationship with Jacob Black had never progressed here as it had in other worlds, or Jacob had never phased into a wolf at all. Since a family of vampires lived very near to the Quileute reservation, I surmised that it must be the former.

"Of course!" Alice said. "Not that it matters, because eventually Edward is going to come to his senses and be with her, and they won't be able to have children anyway."

"Actually," I began slowly, "it matters a great deal."

Carlisle made no effort to conceal his surprise. "Have you learned something in your travels?"

"Yes," I cast a wary glance at Edward, who was busy shredding the remaining pieces of the pillow into smaller squares. I hoped that he would limit his destruction to that one object. "In the first universe I visited, Bella and Edward had gotten married. She gave birth to his child…" the family gasped in unison, "but she had to be turned because it was, shall we say, a difficult pregnancy. The child is half vampire and was destroying her body without realizing it."

Edward did not look up. His mind was spinning so much that I could not get a clear lock on any individual thought. He was shredding the pillow more rapidly than before, tearing each small square into even smaller strips with precision. It was impossible to recognize by now that these scraps had once been a pillow.

"See, Edward? Everything would be just fine if you'd get your head out of your…" Emmett was interrupted by Rosalie.

"A child! We could have a child! A real child! Edward, you have to…"

"And kill her in the process?" Edward leapt up and shoved the coffee table over, shattering some of the small trinkets atop it. Was there any room in the house that I could have these conversations without breaking Esme's possessions?

"She wouldn't be dead, she'd just be different, like us," Alice said musically.

"Edward," I spoke a bit louder so that my voice could be heard over Edward's efforts at turning a vase he'd destroyed into dust, "I once thought as you do. I do not say this lightly, because there are risks. A great deal of risks, to be frank. But it is what Bella wants. She wants you. She loves you. Would you deny her a chance at true happiness because you feel that you know what's best for her better than she herself does?"

"She doesn't have all the facts," Edward snarled.

"She did in my universe, as well as in every other universe I've visited."

"And how did that turn out for her? If your love for one another was so great, why are you traipsing through worlds without her at your side?" Edward demanded.

It would be extremely difficult to convince Edward, once he knew the truth. But I couldn't hide it from him. He would pick it out of my mind eventually. "She died," I said mournfully. "But it was not because her knowledge of our kind placed her inherently in danger, as I once believed. It was because I was foolish enough to leave her and bring the entire family with me. Without our protection, she died, just as she would have died if Alice hadn't told her of her condition early. Don't you see? It was your presence in her life which saved her then. Incidentally," I wondered aloud, "how were you able to keep her from noticing that something was different about us when you saved her from the van?"

Alice piped up, "I was focusing on her by then. I could see that Edward wasn't going to make a decision anytime soon, and it was easier to see her future than it was to see his. I saw the van hitting her and I showed up and introduced myself that morning. She wasn't even near her truck when the van hit it. There was nothing to explain, just a weird coincidence that I had come to talk to her that day, as far as she knew."

"And so you've been here the entire time? There was never an extended absence from Forks which might have led her to befriend Jacob Black?" I asked.

"Jacob Black? Is he related to Ephraim Black? Well anyway, I'm not sure what you're talking about. Her father is friends with one of the Blacks, and older man named Billy. He used to bring his son with him sometimes. I never asked what his name is," Alice answered.

"Jacob," I replied. "His name is Jacob."

"Okay. He used to bring Jacob with him sometimes. About three years ago, he stopped bringing Jacob around. Bella was never really very close to him, but she asked why he wasn't around anymore, and Billy said he'd been accepted into some advanced college prep program and he'd moved away. I didn't really like Jacob anyway. He was fine at first, but he started to reek for a few months before he disappeared. I don't think he understood that puberty for humans means showering every day."

I chuckled. "He's not precisely human. The wolves are back."

"Oh!" Alice was surprised. "I'd never smelled them before. I didn't realize."

"Excuse me," Edward interrupted. "Bella in your world died, just as I always knew she would if I got too close to her. I really don't think Alice should be her friend either, but I have no control over that situation. I cannot do what you propose. It's too dangerous for her."

"Edward, weren't you listening?" Alice's exasperation was clear, both in her voice and in the expression on her normally upbeat face. "He said she only died because he left her. She needs supernatural beings to keep her safe!"

Edward opened his mouth to protest, then shut it again, blocking his thoughts from me. He closed his eyes and I heard him mentally counting to 30. When he opened them again, he began to speak very quietly. "Be that as it may, she most certainly does not need a supernatural boyfriend who would just as soon kill her as kiss her. How does that help anyone?"

"It helps you," I told him, "and it helps her. If you don't want to be with her, I will gladly take her with me. I am certain of my control. I will never harm her." If I had a pulse, it would be racing with excitement.

"No," he said quickly, dashing my dream before it even properly began. "Tell me what happened to her in the other places you visited."

I recapped the stories of the two vampire Bellas, as well as the two human Bellas who were paired with Emmett and Jacob, respectively. Emmett coughed into his sleeve, trying, for Rosalie's sake, to pretend that he was not laughing. Sorry man, he told Edward. I don't really really even know the girl, but from what Alice says, she sounds funny.

The fact that most of my family did not know Bella came as a shock to me. "Alice, you have managed to never bring Bella to the house even after being her friend for so many years?"

"It wasn't too hard, really. She's been away at college part of that time. For the first couple of years, I had to constantly tell her we were renovating something, remodeling something, spraying for bugs. It helps a lot, when you're trying to keep something from someone, if you can see the future. I knew when I was about to do something that would make her ask a question later, and I just wouldn't do that thing. Like I said before, I had to eat human food quite a few times. I could see that she was going to start grilling me about the eating disorder she thought I had, so I ate. Once, I saw that she was going to get suspicious about never coming over. I ended up sending most of the family away to Denali for a day or two so I could bring her over without being surrounded by vampires. She'd already met everyone in school anyway, so she didn't think anything was too suspicious about only Carlisle and Esme being home."

If she was never around my entire family as a unit, she obviously had never run afoul of James and his coven. This was excellent news, since it prevented most of the problems that had befallen Bella in some of the other universes, including my own.

Edward was still unconvinced. "Although I'm impressed that Emmett was able to be with her and allow her to retain her humanity in one of the places you visited, it sounded clear to me that his intention was to change her one day in the future. I couldn't do that to her, not while she had another choice."

"One day, she won't have another choice," I reminded him. "No matter what course her life takes, the day will come that she will die, and you will go on without her. Can you live with that? Even now, when you do not spend every day with her, can you live with the idea of going on, day after day, knowing that she no longer walks this Earth?"

Edward said nothing, looking down at his hands. At last, he spoke again. "How were you certain that she loved you? How can you tell that she does here?"

"It's written in her eyes, for one. For another, the things she says in her sleep,"

But I was not able to continue. Edward cut me off. "You watched her while she slept? Do you have any idea how much of a violation of her privacy that is?"

"You've never watched her sleep?" I was astonished. I was aware that it was not something a normal person does, but it had been a part of our relationship for so long that I never truly thought about it in that way any longer. "I did for some time. I felt guilty about it, but eventually I told her the truth and she was perfectly happy about it. After that, I came in while she was still awake and stayed with her while she slept, with her full knowledge and consent."

"I did… think about it," Edward confessed. "It was difficult to pull myself away, once I'd gotten the idea."

I shook my head. "You really should have. I believe that was what changed things for me. If you understood how much pain she would be in if you weren't part of her life, how happy she would be if you could be a bigger part of your life…"

"She asks about you all the time," Alice added. "She tries to make it sound casual, as if she's asking about the entire family, but she really just wants to know about you."

"I can't…"

"Edward?" This time, to everyone's surprise, it was Rosalie who spoke. All eyes turned to her. "If a human girl really is interested in you, and there really is a chance to expand our family organically…"

I gaped at Rosalie. She had always been the least approving of my relationship with Bella, and here she was, encouraging her own Edward to pursue it.

She went on. "I consider you all my family. You know that. But the one thing I've always regretted was that I would never be able to care for a child. If you really could find a way to make that happen, without anyone being unhappy about it, it would bring so much joy into the house."

"Edward had to change Bella after the child was born," I reminded Rosalie.

"Yes, but from your story, they had no idea what the child needed. If we took proper care of Bella from the very beginning, getting blood to the child before Bella ever got sick, maybe she could survive. And if she couldn't, well, we could always change her then."

Carlisle nodded slightly. "It is possible that proper care could change the outcome. That family didn't know that human-vampire procreation was possible, so they were completely unprepared and had done no research. We could begin researching well in advance and have as much information as possible. And, as Rosalie said, there is always the option of changing her if everything else fails."

"If everything else fails? Are you all mad?" Edward raised his fists to his head and gripped both sides of his head in frustration.

"We're getting ahead of ourselves, dear," Esme told Edward. "Why don't you just try talking things through with Bella? Give her a real chance to tell her how she feels, and go from there?"

"I would have to tell her what I am," Edward replied. "It wouldn't be right to allow her to make a decision about being with me, without telling her exactly what she was getting into."

"Of course, and when the time came to consider having a child, we would tell her all the risks involved in that as well," Carlisle said. "Still, I agree with what the others have said. You're denying happiness to yourself and to Bella."

"I'm denying her happiness," Edward mumbled. "All this time I thought I was the furthest thing from happiness for her. Now he comes along" he gestured in my direction, "and I learn that apparently, being with me is the happiest thing that could possibly happen to her. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"I think," Jasper spoke up at last, "that you're supposed to be happy. Edward, you're glum. All of the time. The others can see it too, but they don't have to feel it. I think you should give it a try, if it's what you want. You've been moping around here for years, and you were never exactly happy before you met her either. What's the worst that could happen?" Jasper cringed, remembering my story of how he'd nearly killed Bella repeatedly. "Okay, well, what's the worst that could happen if she doesn't cut herself open in my presence?"

"She would have died for other reasons if you hadn't entered her life," I said quietly. "From the truck, or if by some miracle she'd survived that, from her illness. Perhaps she was meant for this life. Meant for you."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I need some time to think about this," he muttered.

"Well, you don't have much time," I told him. "You have a date with Bella in one hour." It had taken two hours to go over the stories and argue with Edward.

"One hour! But where will I take her? What will I wear?"

Alice rose. "Edward," she said, indicating with an arm motion that she was talking to me, "Would you mind if I brought you a change of clothes? Those look fine, but Edward should show up wearing what 'he' was wearing this morning when she saw Bella."

"Of course," I said, slipping off my jacket and handing it to her.

"Actually, why don't you go ahead and take a shower. I'll have something ready for you when you're done." She reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out the bottle cap. "Do you, erm, need this?"

"Yes!" I snatched it out of her hand.

"All right, all right," she muttered, going through the other pockets. "Umm, Edward… Did another Alice give you this jacket?"

"Yes," I said, remembering that Alice from Universe Three had given it to me after I'd deliberately coated my shirt with bloodstains as an excuse for Tanya's family to explain Bella's absence.

"Did she… say anything to you about it?"

"She said 'you never know when the right accessories might come in handy.' Does that mean something to you, beyond the obvious?"

Alice held up a passport, a driver's license, and a large wad of cash that she had retrieved from one of the inside pockets. "I certainly think it meant something to her," she informed me.

I grinned. "That sneaky little… I didn't even notice it in there! She must have snuck her own Edward's belongings in, knowing that I didn't have anything like that with me and that his would be easily replaced."

"Well, it's not our money and our Edward already has identification. I don't see any other alternative than for you to keep it," she said smugly. "Besides, that saves me the trouble of stuffing some things in for you myself like I was going to do."

Well, now I at least had the means to purchase airline tickets and rent cars if the need should arise. I felt a bit guilty that I had taken money from an alternate version of my family as well as identification from one of my counterparts, but since Alice had left me no way of ever returning it, I really had no choice. At least I wouldn't have to impose on these Cullens. Shaking my head in disbelief, I headed into the bathroom, leaving my clothes just outside the door for Alice to retrieve. It would be nice to be freshly washed before I set off again. It seemed that this Bella had her own Edward after all.