Unfading

by awalkerlifeforme

Amarantha Freesia is a typical Amity girl. Only, she isn't quite so typical. Behind her facade of friendly smiles and chipper laughter she is everything that Amity isn't. With a bad attitude and a sharp tongue to match, Amarantha knows she doesn't belong in Amity. The only place she might fit in is Dauntless. But is she brave enough? One thing is for sure, he's positive she isn't.

21. Chapter 21

Eric's P.O.V.

It had to be early. Way too damn early. Eric was always an early riser so when he was awoken with a blurry head and sick feeling in his stomach he knew that it was earlier than early. And that meant that it wasn't time to be awake yet. A loud banging was emanating from the outside of his door and he growled under his breath, trying to hide his head under the pillow. If it was that important Eric would have gotten a call on his tablet.

So that meant that it wasn't early enough for anyone to be coming to wake him up. For a moment he thought that it might have been Cameron playing a stupid prank but Eric knew that it was a foolish thought. He had lost the Erudite habit of waking early the day that he had left the Faction. Cameron was rarely seen awake before eight.

The banging at Eric's door still hadn't stopped and his pillow was doing nothing to help drown out the noise. So Eric threw the offending fabric off of his face and leaned over to turn on the lamp. It was almost painful to look at the light. For a moment he thought that he might have been hungover. But he couldn't be. He didn't drink last night. His Amity had come over for a while and he had explained to her what Phase Three was going to consist of. He hadn't had time to drink.

She hadn't been thrilled to hear that everyone was going to be able to see her fears. He was. He wanted to see what it was that she was afraid of. He knew about her parent's being killed and snakes. But he knew that there were more. He could tell that there had been a number of other things that she had been afraid of. He'd heard her telling little bits and pieces of her fears to her friends. The knocks started up once more and Eric growled at the figure outside to wait a second.

As he stumbled pathetically from the bed he realized how grateful he was that she hadn't spent the night with him last night. He had thought that her having to hide underneath his bed was funny but he really didn't want to risk getting caught with her. Max might have known that Eric was fond of her but he didn't know the extent. And Eric wasn't willing to test it. She could still get thrown out of Dauntless for having an intimate relationship with him.

As he walked to the door he realized that it was only five thirty in the morning. If it somehow was her he was going to pitch her over the edge of his balcony, no matter how much he liked her. Eric was in his boxers and he decided to cover up just a bit more in the event that it was someone else. He grabbed a black shirt and pulled it over his head. He yanked the door open and was shocked to see that it was actually Max, looking very awake and alert.

"Max," he stupidly greeted.

"Hello, Eric."

"It's early. What are you doing here?" Eric asked.

Maybe it was a little bit rude to ask something like that, particularly to the one person that would always outrank Eric, but Max was usually good about calling first if it was at an unreasonable hour. And Eric considered anything before six thirty to be an unreasonable hour. Max didn't seem to notice the slip of the tongue.

"Pardon the wake-up call, Eric," Max said.

Eric could tell that Max didn't feel the slightest bit bad. "That's alright," Eric muttered

Not that he was bothered by it. Eric was a leader. If something was wrong it was his job to take care of it, no matter what time it was. There were plenty of the perks that came with the job of being a leader - including having an apartment that would allow him to have his private moments with his Amity - but there was also the fact that he could be called upon at any time to handle next to anything.

"Would you come with me? There's something that I need you to see," Max said.

"Okay."

Eric reached down and grabbed his pants, which had been discarded by his Amity earlier, slipping them on. He went to grab his boots before Max called out. "Just carry them for now. It's early. No one else is awake yet to see. If we can do this fast and unnoticed it would be the best," Max said.

"Alright," Eric said confusedly.

It seemed that something was extremely out of order. Max seemed a tiny bit jittery and almost unsure of what was happening. That wasn't something that Eric had seen from Max. Max was always the kind of man that had everything together. It was rare to see him out of order. Eric nodded anyways and left with Max, locking his door behind himself.

He wasn't sure what it was that Max wanted but it couldn't have been anything good. Especially not if the leader wasn't letting Eric know what it was that was happening. They headed out into the loading bay and Eric scowled as Max motioned to a car. So they were going somewhere. Who the hell wanted to speak with them this early in the morning? And why did Max not want anyone knowing? They climbed into the car and Eric slipped on his shoes.

"Where are we headed?" Eric asked, as he straightened up and sat back against the seat.

"Erudite."

Max said it slowly and with an almost careful tone. He knew as well as Eric did that anything having to do with his former Faction could set the youngest leader off. Eric hated being woken before six. And even more he hated anything having to do with his home Faction. He would have much rather been sleeping. He would have rather it been his Amity at the door. At least he could have had a good wake-up call with her.

"Why?" Eric asked sharply.

"Jeanine Matthews has something she would like the two of us to see," Max informed Eric.

A low growl escaped from his mouth as he shook his head. But he maintained his normal disposition. Eric hated everything having to do with the Divergent. He hated Jeanine too. He wasn't really sure why she was after them but if he wanted to maintain his status as leader he had to work with her. And he did see where she was coming from. They disrupted the Faction system. Either way his day was just getting better and better.

"And what is it that Jeanine wants us to see that can't wait until a slightly more reasonable time?" Eric asked rudely.

He was polite to Max all the time. Even when it was obvious that he wanted the leader anywhere but near him. It was obvious enough that Eric wanted to be anywhere but near Max. Actually he just wanted to be back in bed. This time Eric was pissed. He just wanted to go back to bed and didn't want to have to see Jeanine.

"She didn't want to say over the phone," Max admitted.

Eric scoffed under his breath. "Of course she didn't," Eric said.

To his surprise, it looked like Max was about to smile. "She did say that it was important and that we needed to see it," Max said.

"Okay."

Even though Eric was agreeing, he really didn't want to go. He didn't want to have anything to do with whatever it was that Jeanine wanted this early in the morning. Eric rolled his eyes as he leaned back a little further into his seat. He was sure that whatever it was it wasn't that important. Jeanine tended to jump to conclusions.

"I would have asked for a meeting at midday but Jeanine wanted no one else to know about this. And I have something that I need for you to do today," Max told him.

Once more Eric let out a little snarl. Max was going to drag him out of bed this early and then force him to do something else? Probably pointless too. Usually the things that Max wanted Eric to do were either completely reasonable and serious, or there was literally no fucking point. There was never an in between.

"And that is?" Eric asked exasperatedly.

Max held his tablet and Eric could see him chatting back and forth with Jeanine's secretary. "I need you do to the fear simulations for the initiates today," Max said flippantly.

Eric's pierced brow raised and he had to clench his jaws together to keep them from falling open. That was one of Eric's least favorite things to do. He had only done it six or seven times in the past four years and he hated it. And it was Four's fucking job to take care of the initiates. Not his. Eric liked to bug them during Stage One but after that he couldn't care less until they got to the fear landscape. He didn't give a damn what the initiates were afraid of.

"And why is that? Four is the one that does the fear sims, not me," Eric snapped.

He was a leader. He was above taking care of the initiates. And he was not about to baby them like Four did. "Four came to see me last night. Barely made it there. He looked like he was about an inch from death," Max said.

Eric raised his brow. Was Four going to die? "Something wrong with him?" Eric asked curiously.

"Something that he ate last night. I've warned the kitchen about their seafood nights."

Eric blanched at Max's words. He couldn't believe that Four had actually eaten the fish. He had only eaten it once and had learned his lesson painfully. Everyone knew that unless you had a stomach of steel the fish would give you food poisoning. Except for Four, apparently.

"I gave him the day off to recover. And you know that when Four is unable to do the fear sims it is your duty to step in," Max said.

Eric growled. Max was right. It was in his duties as leader. "Of course," Eric said through gritted teeth.

"You don't have anything better to do, do you?" Max asked.

The questioning glance that Max was giving Eric was more of a dare to argue with him. Although Max didn't scare Eric, he knew that the man could easily strip him of his leadership status. So Eric begrudgingly shook his head. When he thought about it there really wasn't anything better that he had to do. Other than her, of course, but she was busy with training.

"No. I'll get them from breakfast when we get back," Eric said.

"Thank you," Max said.

Not that Eric could have said anything else. Max went back to his tablet in the meantime. Eric scowled and leaned back in the seat. He hadn't brought anything with him considering he had thought that they were staying in Dauntless. He did wonder what his Amity would think when she realized that it was him that was going to be seeing her deepest fears rather than Four. He wondered if it might end up changing her fears considering that it was now Eric that would see them.

The car stopped and Eric looked up at the Erudite compound. Another scowl crossed over his face. He hated this place more than anything. And he hated that from the front of the compound he could see the home that was once his. His family had always lived at the top of the compound so that they could overlook the rest of Chicago. Eric just wished that he could strangle his parents just by glaring at the window.

The two of them got out of the car and Eric looked around through the windows. It didn't look like anyone was awake yet. Maybe a few people were still in the labs that hadn't slept yet but no one else. They walked into the main room where the usual receptionist was waiting for them. She knew who they were and she motioned them straight back to Jeanine's office.

He and Max walked side-by-side as they headed back to Jeanine's office. She was the only person that had an office back here. There were others but no one actually used them. In the housing areas there were a few lights on in spattered apartments. And like expected, no one was walking through the halls. Eric pushed open the door to Jeanine's office and walked through with Max.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Jeanine smiled. She didn't look the slightest bit tired.

"Good morning, Jeanine," Max greeted politely.

"Morning," Eric greeted, a little less politely.

"With me, if you will?"

Jeanine turned and motioned for them to follow her through a few hallways to head into the back of Erudite. Eric had never been allowed back here. These were all private experimentation rooms. His own parents hadn't even been allowed back here. No one was unless they had a special authorization card.

Jeanine finally seemed to find the door that she wanted as she stopped at the end of the hallway. She pushed open the door and walked in with Eric and Max behind her. Eric could tell that Max was bored but he himself was curious. He had always wondered what was back here.

The room itself was extremely odd. He had seen plenty of experimentation rooms before but never one like this. Computers lined the walls with programs and schematics running across the glass screens. Eric was good with computers but even he couldn't tell what the programs were about. The only other thing that caught Eric's eye was a large machine behind a glass wall.

The machine had strange black tubes with razor sharp needles sticking out of them. It looked like a torture device. There were serums inside of vials that were sticking out of the top of the machine. It reminded Eric of the machine that initiates in Candor used. He stared at the machine for a long time. It wasn't just him. Max was also staring at the machine confusedly. It turned out that it wasn't just Eric who had been left in the dark about this.

The only other thing in the room that seemed worthwhile to look at was a small box in the center of the room. Max was staring at it and Jeanine was coming close to touching it. Somehow Eric liked the look of the box less than the machine. The box was a dirty looking gold with four sides. It looked ancient but like it had been designed with new technology. It made no sense to Eric. He didn't like the way that it looked or where it sat. It made the entire thing feel extremely ominous.

It clearly had something to do with the large machine in the corner of the room. The box had the symbol of one of the five Factions on each side. The top of the box was the Erudite symbol. Max was examining it closely and Eric noticed that he wasn't touching it. Jeanine was staring at it like it was the bane of her existence. No one was speaking as everyone examined the odd-looking box. Eric noticed that he was standing the furthest away from it.

"Jeanine," Eric called out, sick of the silence.

She took a few moments to turn to him. It was like the moment that she looked away she was convinced that the box was going to do something. "Yes, Eric?" she asked softly.

"What is this?" he asked, motioning around the room.

He had thought that Jeanine was waiting for them to speak up but she seemed a little surprised to actually hear his voice. Clearly she had been pouring over the box. It must have been something that was keeping her occupied most of the time. And that meant that now Eric and Max would have to learn about it.

"It's a wonderful question, Eric. For the longest time we had no idea what it was. We still aren't one hundred percent what it is. But I believe that I've found it," Jeanine said.

Jeanine didn't look pleased. She looked anything but happy. "And it is?" Max asked.

"We've come to calling it simply, The Box," Jeanine said. Eric had to hold back a snort. It was a very creative name. "We started by trying to hook an Erudite member up to the machine. We've learned that they work in synchronization. This machine was always here."

She hadn't bothered to look back at the machine. It was clear that it was the Box that held her attention. "Pardon my interruption," Max spoke up.

Jeanine turned to look at him. "Yes, Max?" she asked.

"But where exactly did this Box come from? The machine you say was always here. Fine. But what about the Box?" Max asked. Eric nodded with him. He didn't like the look of this thing. "Where did you find it?"

Suspicion was high in his voice. Eric didn't blame Max in the slightest. The Box looked anything but good and Jeanine was never one to be trusted. Even though Eric worked with her he didn't really trust her. Of course, he didn't really trust anyone. With the exception of Cameron. Maybe his Amity.

"It took quite some time. It was during an inspection of Abnegation a few weeks ago. After the attack on Amity we found out that Factionless were heading to Abnegation next. But it turns out that they weren't looking for Divergent's there. They were looking for something else," Jeanine said and Eric raised his pierced brow.

"What are the Abnegation hiding?" Eric asked.

They were selfless. They wouldn't hide something. "This. The Box. Presumably to try and keep it out of our hands. But we got to it first. It was found in the home of Natalie and Andrew Prior," Jeanine explained.

Even though Max looked unfazed, Eric cocked his head. He knew that name. "Andrew Prior?" Eric repeated.

Jeanine nodded. "Yes," she confirmed.

"He works with the Abnegation for the government. Doesn't he?" Eric asked.

Jeanine nodded again. "Yes," she repeated.

Eric couldn't understand why someone working for the government would be hiding something like this. Unless they didn't know that it was there. "Why did he have this Box?" Eric asked.

"Not known. We asked him, even put him under a truth serum. He doesn't seem to know why the Box was there. His wife seemed about as clueless as he was. I believe that it was placed there to hide it from whoever they were attempting to hide it from." That was the only thing that made sense to him. "They have two children, both fourteen, but neither were questioned. The less people to know about it the better. So we took the Box with a warning for them to never repeat what happened," Jeanine explained.

It was for the best that no one else knew about this thing. Especially when it seemed that no one knew exactly what it was that the Box did. And it was even better that the Candor didn't know. They would demand for the truth of the Box to be revealed. Eric was sure that it was only a matter of time before Chicago would find out what this was.

"What exactly does this Box do? You said that you had ruled it out," Max said.

The last thing that Eric wanted was to know what was inside of that Box. It looked like it needed to be chucked over the top of the Fence. But maybe there was something important in it. Eric walked a little closer to the Box to see what it was that was so strange about the Box. It looked like something that needed to be destroyed.

"Ah, yes. It's taken work nearly every day to find out what exactly it is that this Box does. We still aren't positive. But we know now what we need to open it. We started with just an Erudite. This shows sims. One for each of the Factions. If you fail a sim, if you are unable to solve it the way that someone from that Faction would solve it, you die. We believe it's the stress on the body of the sims. If you are successful, that part of The Box unlocks. All five Factions must be unlocked for The Box to open," Jeanine explained.

Max looked completely lost and Eric rolled his eyes. It wasn't that hard to figure out. "You need a Divergent to open it," Eric stated.

Max still seemed lost but Jeanine nodded her head slowly. "Indeed I do. Which is half of the reason that I've been looking for them rather than killing them," she explained.

Eric nearly scoffed. He knew damn well that Jeanine would kill a Divergent before she actually used them. "Using them?" Eric asked.

"I've found out that it isn't just any Divergent I need. I need a one hundred percent pure Divergent," she said.

That came as news to Eric. Obviously it came as news to Max too. They were both staring sideways at Jeanine. Was there really a chance that something like that was real? He wasn't aware there was such a thing as a one hundred percent Divergent. The closest Eric had seen was sixty-two percent.

"Is there even such a thing?" Eric asked.

"They don't need to have been revealed to have every aptitude, but they must be able to learn as each Faction would," she continued.

It seemed that Max had finally caught on as he was nodding his head slowly and leaning back against the platform where the Box sat. Eric half expected a gun to come out of the Box and shoot Max for standing so close to it. "Has this even come close to being successful?" Max asked.

Eric was a bit surprised that he had said something mildly intelligent. It wasn't that Eric absolutely hated Max, it was just that he didn't think that the man was that bright. Jeanine nodded slowly and Eric knew that it meant that there hadn't been that much success. Or not as much as she wanted.

"We've seen some success. The first person that was successful was able to beat one of the simulations. We've had a few able to beat two," Jeanine said.

Eric scowled. That wasn't anywhere close to where they needed to be. "But you need all five?" Eric asked.

"Yes. No one has been able to beat all five. We need someone that can. That's why the plan that I have on hold is so important. We collect as many as we can and test them all. I have a few lined up in the meantime to try," she said.

Both men were nodding along with her. Eric still wasn't convinced that it was a good idea to go poking around the Box. He wasn't even sure what was inside of it. She wasn't even sure what was inside of it. How could they know that nothing dangerous was going to happen if they managed to open the Box?

"Do you have any clue what's going to happen when you get that Box open?" Eric asked, a little harsher than he had meant to. "Or if there actually is a way to open it?"

There was always the chance that no one could. For once Eric saw that Jeanine was genuinely irritated with him. She usually seemed amused when she spoke Eric. "There has to be a way to open it. If at least one of the Factions can be opened there is a way to open them all. I've seen all of them passed at least once," Jeanine said.

But that didn't mean that someone was really able to pass all five of them. "But can someone actually pass all five?" Eric asked.

"I'm sure that they can. I just need someone that can pass all of them together. One person must unlock the entire thing." It seemed to Eric that it was a kind of test. And if you failed you died. "As for what's inside of it, it could really be anything. I believe that it's a way to destroy Divergent's once and for all," she said, a little glimmer in her eyes.

Eric certainly wasn't sure about that. If they needed a one hundred percent Divergent to open it maybe that meant that whoever had created the Box liked the Divergent's or wanted them to succeed. As far as Eric was concerned the Divergent's were a threat to the Faction system but they were still people. The only way to kill them all would be to hunt them all down. But still, more would be born with time. There was no way to eradicate them permanently.

"Is there a particular reason that you've brought us here to show us this? Not that it isn't fascinating," Eric said blandly.

As far as he was concerned this was a gigantic waste of his time. If no one could open the Box then there was no point to show them it. When someone was able to successfully open the Box, then Eric would be interested. Until then, he wanted to be back in his bed where no one was bothering him.

"Of course. I can see that you two aren't quite so convinced that this is real or that this can actually happen. So I want you to see it in action. The night of the final Fear Landscape in Dauntless, at eight o'clock, I've lined up another test subject to be used. I believe this one may be the key," Jeanine stated proudly.

Eric was sure that Jeanine had thought she'd found a few 'keys' before. "You found a new one?" Max asked.

"Yes. Max, you'll need to be welcoming the initiates to life as a real Dauntless member. But Eric, I would like you to be here to watch it. To witness history," Jeanine explained.

Eric was no moron. He knew that just like Max, when Jeanine said something like that it was not a request. So Eric nodded slowly, wishing more than anything that he wouldn't have to be there. He didn't want to have to be the one to clean up the corpse of some new Divergent that Jeanine had placed all of her cards on.

"I'll be here. Who is this new subject?" Eric asked.

Eric was a little bit curious as to who it was that she'd found. A little hint of a smile filed Jeanine's face for the first time since Eric had seen her that morning. He didn't like the smile that she wore. He rarely did. There was something deeply offsetting about the way that she was looking at him.

"A no one. No one that anyone will care about if they don't live through the end of the simulations," she said. That wasn't true. Everyone had someone that cared. Even Eric. "Not to worry. They've already been instructed as for what will happen to them. Now, it's going to be a long day for everyone. Thank you for coming by gentlemen. Eric, I look forward to seeing you in a few weeks."

"Likewise," Eric responded.

He was barely able to say it through gritted teeth. He just hated the smarmy look on her face. Of course he had it too but at least his was teasing. He had some redeeming qualities. Without bothering to say another word he and Max headed out to the car to take them back to Dauntless. All Eric wanted to do was go back to sleep but it was already too late.

As they climbed back into the car, Eric couldn't help but to wonder if anything about the Box could really be a good thing. Eric couldn't help but to feel that it wasn't. That Box didn't look like anything that he had ever seen before. Nothing from this side of the Fence, and that wasn't a good thing. While part of him was a little curious about what was inside of it, he was sure that it wasn't wise to open it. Whatever was in that Box should remain untouched.

Alex's P.O.V.

As my eyes opened slowly I stretched out against the bed. The lights weren't on in the room yet and I was grateful. Whenever they were it felt like I was waking up in the infirmary. As my spine stretched out I felt the bones crunching in every part of my body. My back, legs, arms, shoulders, and everywhere in between. I hated the beds in the dorms more than anything. But it made sense for me to be staying here more often these days. After all, we were getting close to the end.

There was only three more weeks until I finished Dauntless initiation. It seemed like it had always been so far away. This dream that would never end. But now it was here. And it was so close. It still didn't feel real to me. It didn't feel real that, in a matter of weeks, we would be done with initiation and I would be a real Dauntless member.

Standing from the bed quickly I leaned down to grab my clothes out of the bag that I was still living out of. Very few things weren't in here. The only thing that wasn't was a jacket that I kept at Eric's apartment. And probably a few pairs of torn underwear. As I moved into the bathroom I realized that it was still early. Only one person was up and they were already in the showers.

"Guys?" I called out.

"It's me," Draven responded. "I'll move over one."

"Thanks!" I whisper-yelled.

He moved into one of the separate stalls as I headed to the one that he was just in. The water had warmed slightly from his time in it but that meant that it was only cold rather than freezing. My muscles tensed and I shivered violently. I had gotten so used to the heat in Eric's shower. I had told Heather about it a while ago and I had never seen the ex-Candor look so jealous. She hadn't used a warm shower in over seven months.

As the water ran over me I tried to think about anything other than the uncomfortably cold water. Unfortunately that led to me thinking about the fear that I had been seeing for the past week. Four had seemed to agree with me during our midnight sessions that the only way to go about it was to listen to them all insult me and step in front of the bullet at the end.

He knew that I wasn't thrilled with that ending but it was the only one that worked every single time. And it wasn't a Divergent way to end it, it was Dauntless. It showed that I wasn't afraid of death. Even after hearing my friends say the most painful things that they could to me I would still defend them to the death.

I had told Four that I was nervous for people hearing Jeanine call Eric my sweetheart. Actually I was nervous just for him to hear that somewhere in the pits of my mind I thought of him like that. I could have sworn that I didn't. Four had seemed to think that it was no big deal. No one had any proof that anything was happening between us besides a silly little fear that I had that could have been lost in translation. Besides, even if they did figure it out by that night we would all become Dauntless members anyways. Four was convinced that no one was going to care.

My hands worked their way up to my hair and I began to run my fingers through it. There was a little built-up grease that I was trying to wash out. As much as I liked Dauntless I didn't like the constant sweating. As we got closer to the end of initiation and as we had been out of physical training for a while, Four had told us to spend our free time that we got waiting for our sims in the training room. It had been easy to see that it wasn't a request.

The higher ranked initiates would go in the morning and the lower ranked initiates would go in the afternoon. I would normally spar with my friends. I was getting better and I had even beaten Aaron a few times. Cameron had been in the training room once and had asked me to spar. He had beaten me but I had been glad to see that he did have a black eye from a strong hit from me. He had seemed happy that I was able to hit him. Eric had certainly been amused when I had told him where the bruise was from.

But it wasn't the physical that I was concerned with anymore. It was the mental and emotional. The physical I had already proven that I could do. We were in the final week of Phase Two. No one was leaving until the end of Phase Three. Eric and Four had both told me that it was going to be the fear landscape. I was the only one of my friends to know exactly what it was. Four had told me that Lauren would show everyone what to expect. She would show us hers. We would get two weeks to practice our own. Phase Three was the shortest.

Both Four and Eric had told me about what I could expect when I got to Phase Three. Four had told me that it was going to consist of all of my fears. And if I didn't discover all of the rest of my fears within the next week I would start seeing new ones in the landscape. It was designed to show all of them in an almost endless loop.

Eric had told me that you were aware that you were in a sim during the fear landscape. I had been forced to keep the smile off of my face. That would throw all of my friends through a loop. Not me. I was already used to being completely conscious in a fear sim. Not that I had told him that. Four agreed that it would help make me faster.

As I washed off the rest of my body and tried to rub away the goosebumps I thought about the rest of the fears that I had seen through the past few weeks. The first fear that I had seen was Jeanine threatening to kill my parents because of what I was. I was glad that I had figured out how to finish that fear before she could say anything. The second was Eric defending Jeanine, forcing me to kill him. I still wasn't fond of having to deal with that fear.

The next one had been my baby sister not making it and being able to do nothing about it. The mortifying snake pit had been after that. And the last one that I had seen was everyone I cared about turning their backs on me. They were all terrible. The only good thing was that I knew how to beat them all. It made them no less painful though.

The only thing that didn't make any sense to me was that I had so many fewer fears than my friends. Anyone at all that I had heard about. Zeke had told me that he'd had nine. Cameron also had nine. Damien had once told me that he'd had eleven. Although I wasn't sure how many Four and Eric had. I knew that Four had the fear of heights. That was the only one that I knew of though. Eric had two that I knew of. I wasn't sure how many fears Hunter, Jade, or Colt had. I didn't care either.

Heather had seen nine so far. Buck had seen eight. Draven and Dante had both seen seven. Jax had seen six that he'd admitted. I had a feeling that it was more. Cole had seen ten and Jet had only seen five that he'd admitted. He had kept two of them a secret. The Dauntless born all seemed to range between seven and twelve. I had only seen five. It seemed wrong to me. Especially because of everything that was going on with Jeanine Matthews.

The fears were enough to make me wonder what was going on but nothing kept my mind busier during the day than wondering about what I could do to stop Jeanine. As far as I could tell there was nothing. Four and I had both thought long and hard. Whatever we were going to do was going to have to be done behind the law. No one was going to believe us if we came out in public with the plan. Many still believed that the Divergent were dangerous.

The only way that Four and I were going to be able to show that they weren't would be for us to come forward and show that we really weren't that different. There was next to nothing that we had figured out past that. There was a little hint of a plan forming in the back of my mind but I wasn't so sure that it was really going to work out for me. Not that any plan was going to work out for me. For now I intended to keep it a secret from Four. He would immediately tell me no.

Reaching over to the faucet I turned the water off and nearly laughed when I immediately warmed. More people were using the showers now and it had plunged the temperature desperately. I stepped out of the standing water and grabbed my towel. People were moving all around and I heard soft conversations so I chose to keep the curtain closed. Only three more weeks and I would finally have privacy. If you live that long.

I shook that thought off and tried to force my mind back to the more mundane ones. It had to be getting close to eight if everyone was already moving. I grabbed my clothes off of the floor and pulled them on. It was a pair of dark gray jeans that were tight around my legs. I had a black low-cut shirt on as I tied my hair up. Stepping out of the shower I pulled on the socks and slipped out of the bathroom, letting Buck get in the shower after me. I walked out into the living room and pulled my boots on.

Looking over to my left I saw Heather give her sheets a good tug up to the top of the bed. The comforter shredded down the middle at the sudden movement and I smiled bashfully at her. She looked infuriated. Obviously something had happened to her at some point in the past few days. Or maybe it was just a culmination of everything.

"I can't wait to get the hell out of this stupid dorm. You know, I was trying to roll over in bed last night and I fell out!" she shouted.

I imagined that everyone was ready to get their own apartments in order. "We've all done that at least once," I consoled her.

"My bed in Candor was like three times the size of these cots."

"Your bed was three times this size?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah."

"Mine was only about twice as big."

"At least you have someone else's bed that you can go to," Heather teased.

We both laughed softly as I blushed. The boys turned towards us at the mention of my 'man' so I quickly decided to change the subject. "I thought I heard something last night," I told her with a small wink.

Heather laughed as she pulled on her training outfit for the day. Loose pants and an oversized shirt. I'd noticed that she'd really been dressing down lately. She seemed to be at the end of her ropes with initiation. Not that I could really blame her. Particularly because she had once been a Candor, and they weren't exactly known for having the best of tempers.

"Heather, there's only three weeks left of initiation before we're real Dauntless members. Can you believe that?" I asked.

She shook her head with a happy smile. "Not at all. It seemed like we were never going to actually get here. But now that we're so close it feels weird," Heather said, making me laugh.

"I know. I can't believe that we're actually getting to the end," I said.

"To know that in just a few weeks we're never going to have to worry about our rankings or arranged fights or facing our fears again. We're going to have real jobs and make real money and have a real apartment!" she yelled out, making me laugh again.

"I'm so pumped to never have to sleep on these cots again," I said happily.

We would be real independents. No longer dependents or initiates. Well, she would. I might not be. "It doesn't feel real," she mumbled.

I nodded along with her as we walked out of the dorms. The boys were just a few minutes behind us. "I agree. Nothing seems real. But we're almost there!" I shouted happily.

"And we'll have a real celebration soon."

"You know, I was talking to Eric and he told me what people do when they move out of the dorms. He was saying that some Dauntless born go back to living with their families. I could never do that," I said.

"No way. I love my family, but I'm done with living with them," Heather said.

"He said that a lot of people will move in with friends and significant others and the rest will go by themselves," I continued.

She nodded as we walked into the kitchen and grabbed our food. "Honestly I'd ask you if you would come live with me but I'm pretty sure that we'd constantly be asking each other for time in the room," Heather said.

I appreciated that she also had thought about us living together. I had done the same thing when I had first heard about the living situations. But she was right. We would both be asking for privacy all the time. She would want her time with Cole and I would want my time with Eric. We couldn't live together. There would be too many interruptions.

"Neither one of us have the best control. We'd probably end up giving each other a little show," I said, laughing softly.

"Save that for Eric," Heather teased.

"And you for Cole," I shot back.

"Maybe we could get apartments next door to each other," she suggested.

Honestly I liked that idea. I liked the thought of getting to live next door to Heather. We took our seats at the normal table we sat at and I watched as the boys filed into the kitchen. Most of the higher-up Dauntless members were up in the Wolf's Den and I noticed Eric speaking with Max. He looked pissed and extremely tired.

"Yeah. I'm sure that they have adjoining rooms or something. We could do that and get our privacy at night and still be able to bother each other during the day," I told her.

She laughed at my suggestion. "Perfect," she said brightly.

The boys would never see us. We would probably spend all day gossiping with each other. What could you expect from seventeen year old girls? "I'm still curious to see what job I'll end up with," I told her.

Honestly I was trying to think of something other than the fact that I had twenty-one days left to get a plan together. In all honesty I hadn't thought about what job I would have after initiation in a while. I had been too busy thinking about whether or not I was going to live that long.

"Me too," she said.

"We're high-ranked enough that we'll both have good jobs when the time comes," I said.

"That's true. I was thinking about maybe Ambassador or surveillance or something," Heather said.

"That's a good idea. Cameron is an Ambassador and he really likes his job," I pointed out.

"But I'm not so sure that I would want to have to deal with the initiates all the time."

I laughed at her honesty. She was still Candor somewhere deep down. "If they're anything like us, I wouldn't want to have to deal with them either," I said.

"There has to be other things that I could do. I would say leadership but I'm not ranked high enough."

"There'll be something good for you."

"As for leadership, you are!" she yelled excitedly.

And she was right about that. But I wasn't sure that with everything that I knew I would actually want to be leadership. I hated knowing just how corrupt our government was. Jeanine was the only leader. No matter what anyone else thought. I wasn't sure that I could manage to handle leadership and balancing my secret.

"I know but I'm not sure if leadership is really something that I want to do. The government is so corrupt. Or maybe that's exactly the reason that I could do it. Try to make a difference in the City," I convinced myself.

Heather nodded at me with a little smile. "If anyone could make a difference, it would be you," Heather said.

"Thanks. Eric was telling me about a job that's right below leadership. You might not be ranked for it but you make a case for yourself and you'll do great. They're section leaders. They lead certain aspects of Dauntless," I explained.

As far as I knew they made up a large portion of Dauntless. Some worked with weapons while others worked with communications. Eric had told me that it covered a broad range of topics. And judging by the smile on Heather's face I assumed that it sounded like something that she wanted to do. It was something that I would think about if I were a few rankings lower. Or if I really thought that I might survive initiation.

"Hey, that sounds cool," Dante said as he took the place to my right.

All of the rest of our boys flooded into open spots in the table behind him. "That's what I thought when I heard about it," I said.

"You ladies talking about what you would want to after initiation is over?" Dante asked.

"We are," I said, nodding at him.

"Well I know that they assign us jobs based on who ranks where. The higher ranked you are the better your job will be," Dante said.

He was right. That was exactly the way that it worked. The lowest would go to the Fence, the most undesirable position in Dauntless. Just above them were the shop workers. Above them were the security runners; the people that kept the peace in the rest of the Factions and the streets. The higher you were the better off you were. The highest went to something along the lines of leadership. The more important positions in Dauntless.

"They told us that from the beginning. I think that we're all ranked high enough to do something that we would like," I told them honestly.

I wasn't concerned that any of us were going to be in danger of being out at the Fence. I had a feeling that if Hunter, Jade, or Colt somehow managed to stay in Dauntless they were going to end up at the Fence. And that was fine by me. The less that I had to see of them the better.

"I mean I'm not that high ranked but I think that I'm high enough to keep myself off of the Fence. I really wouldn't want to do that," Buck admitted.

He was ninth. That should have been high enough to keep himself off of the Fence. "You're too high to be on the Fence," I said.

"Really?" Buck asked.

"Yeah. Tenth and lower get placed on the Fence," I said.

"I think patrolling or something would be cool," Buck said.

We all nodded with him. It would be a job that never settled down. It might make him even busier than a leader. Besides being an Ambassador or working on the Fence, being on a patrol was the one job that would keep you away from Dauntless the most. Those who worked with the patrols did get every other week off though.

"Definitely a job that would keep you busy. But at least you'd never be bored," Draven said.

"It's just a lot to do," Heather pointed out.

"But it could be worth it," Jax put in.

"Besides Miss Amity over here, I'm the highest ranked transfer," Draven said.

I laughed and nudged him gently. I knew that there were no hard feelings about my ranking. "You fought tooth and nail, but that number one spot is mine," I said.

"I don't think I'd want to do leadership anyways. There's too much riding on you. I was thinking maybe an ambassador or something like that. Patrols wouldn't be bad either. Maybe a section leader or something like you were saying, Alex," Draven said.

If anyone would be good as a leader it would be Draven. He had a good head on his shoulders. He was the one person that would be able to keep himself calm in any situation. It didn't matter, I knew what he meant. That was a lot riding on you as a leader. If you fucked up it was your own fault. There would be no one else to hide behind.

"You'd be good at anything that you decide to do. You're a natural Dauntless, man," Dante said.

Everyone smiled at him. "Thanks, man," Draven said.

"I'm thinking I'd want to go into weapons control or something like that. I'm ranked high enough that I think that they would trust me not to shoot my foot off," Dante admitted.

The rest of us started to laugh. I was pretty confident that none of us would injure ourselves. We had been working with weapons long enough to have become rather proficient with them. It actually sounded cool to me. Getting to play with guns all day. That was one of my favorite things to do in the physical part of training. My least favorite had been knives. Mostly because of what had happened between Eric and I afterwards.

"That actually doesn't sound too bad. I've always liked to work with my hands. Maybe something in the construction industry or manufacturing," Jax said.

Dauntless was in control of construction in Chicago because we were really the only ones that were strong enough to be able to do all of the heavy lifting. "I would have never even thought about that," I said thoughtfully.

"I didn't either. I just started thinking about it," Jax said.

"Sounds like a cool idea," I said.

"Although I don't think that surveillance would be too bad," Jax continued.

It seemed that surveillance was mostly a secondary plan. Four seemed to like it enough and I had a feeling that the rest of us would like it too. Downing the last bits of my eggs I pushed them back a little further on my plate. I wasn't sure that I wanted to eat anything else this morning. I noticed that the closer that we got to the end of training the less that I ate.

"Well what about something like records?" Cole asked.

Every head turned to stare at him like he was insane. Even Heather looked a bit concerned for his well-being. "Really?" Heather asked, sounding shocked.

"You could be like a spy or something. It's like espionage in the old books."

Needless to say laughs were exchanged around the table. "Are you kidding?" I asked Cole, through a laugh.

"Whatever, I think it's cool," he huffed.

Jet reached across the table and grabbed Cole by the shoulders. "Hey man, anything is better than being at the Fence," he said.

We all nodded. I wondered if Jet would look for something like patrolling the Factionless sector. Maybe in hopes that he could see Raven from time to time. "What about patrols?" I asked Jet.

"For the Factionless sector?" he shot back, obviously knowing what I was getting at.

"It would be nice to see her," I said softly.

"Maybe," Jet muttered.

"But there are other things too," I said brightly, trying to change the subject.

"Well I'm destined to end up on the Fence if I don't pull my ranking up a few spots. I'd rather work at a shop or something like that. I'm sure that the Fence is better than being Factionless but I really wouldn't want to be out there all the time," Jet moaned.

As great as Jet was during the physical part of training he simply wasn't as strong in the mental part. But most people weren't. Myself being the exception. But I hated hearing that Jet thought that he was going to be at the Fence. He wasn't. There was no way that any of my friends were going to end up out there.

"None of us are going to be at the Fence!" I shouted, louder than I had meant to.

Everyone jumped and turned to look at me. "She's right," Heather agreed, after a brief silence.

"We're better than that. And even if someone does end up at the Fence there has to be a way to progress through the rankings. You shouldn't be stuck to one job for the rest of your life. None of us are going to be forced to do something that we don't like. We came here to have a better life, not a worse one," I told them.

"That's a sweet sentiment, Amity," I heard a familiar voice call.

It was Eric. I stiffened completely and saw that my friend's eyes went wide. Heather seemed to be the only one uncomfortable and not nervous. Eric was standing directly behind me with his arms crossed over his chest. A hint of hesitation shot through my chest as I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to say. The last time that I had spoken to Eric in front of my friends since we had gotten together was when he had delivered my letter. I wasn't sure how to speak to him now. Thankfully he saved me the effort.

"You will go where we decide you're worthy to go. If you don't like it the Factionless district is only a few miles away," Eric snarled. I had to admit it hurt a little that he addressed the comment to me. But he couldn't be soft to me. "Get up. Head to the sim room."

That time I knew exactly what to say. "Where's Four?" I asked.

That was when I forgot that I couldn't say things like that. He might have been the person that I spent the night in bed with, but they didn't know that and I couldn't tell them that. I heard all of my friends suck in a little breath. They still thought that Eric was going to kill me if I spoke out of term with him. They might be right. Eric looked pissed that I had interrupted him. Or maybe that I had brought Four into it.

But I didn't care. I wanted to know why our normal trainer wasn't here. I wanted to ensure that he was still the one to see my fears. Eric was scowling at me. I could see that all of my friends were about a second away from smacking me. They didn't know that Eric wasn't going to hit me. Not out of serious anger. He might just give me a little smack. I had a feeling that he wasn't genuinely angry with me.

"Four is sick today. I'll be administering your simulations until he's feeling better. Move." Oh, good. Just what I wanted. "Now!" Eric yelled when none of us moved.

Each one of my friends sprang from the benches faster than I had expected. Even the Dauntless born broke into a near run as they all headed to the sim room. No one wanted to be the one to make Eric mad. Even Heather went a little faster than normal. I didn't bother to jump up quickly. I slowed down so that I could fall in line with Eric. I walked just slightly in front of him as to not raise any suspicion. Everyone knew that Eric and I didn't get along; or so they thought.

"What's wrong with Four?" I asked, turning my head back slightly to look at him.

"Who gives a damn?" Eric snapped.

I knew that he wasn't a fan of Four but that didn't mean that I wasn't. Besides, I needed Four. And he really was my friend. He had become a really good friend to me over the past few months. I was concerned for his well-being. I turned back to scowl at Eric. He seemed unfazed by my glare.

"I give a damn. What's wrong with him?" I asked sharply.

"Why do you care?" Eric snapped.

"Someone's in a bad mood," I commented dryly.

"I have better things to be doing than this."

"We're too lowly for you?"

"Of course. Unless you're in my bed," Eric teased, speaking lowly and running a hand across my lower back.

Goosebumps started to raise on my arms. "You know that I'll be there whenever you want," I whispered back.

The corners of Eric's lips tilted upwards. "Four will be fine. He just needs a few days off. I'll tell you about it later," he said.

"Okay," I muttered, nodding and speeding up to stand with my friends.

The boys seemed clueless that I had been walking so far behind them and so close to Eric. Heather gave me a suggestive smile and I rolled my eyes at her. Nothing had happened. Nothing could happen between us in public. We all headed into the sim waiting room and I sat in the chair as far away from the sim room as possible.

"Colt. In here. Now," Eric snarled.

He looked furious with the blonde haired boy. I couldn't help but to wonder whether it was because he had nearly killed me. They disappeared through the door and I waited a moment before turning to Heather. She seemed invested in chipping off some red nail polish that had seemingly been on her nails for months.

"Hey, I need you to do me a favor," I told her.

She looked up from her nails to turn and glance at me. "What's up?" she asked.

"Can you kind of lean in front of where I would be sitting and make sure that Eric doesn't see that I'm gone?" I asked her.

Heather nodded slowly, probably curious as to what I was doing. "Sure," she said.

"Thanks. If he asks tell him that I'm in the bathroom."

She leaned back against Cole, who was flipping through the screens on his tablets faster than I thought was possible. "Yeah, no problem. Where are you going?" she asked.

"Gonna go check on Four," I explained.

Heather nodded at me. "Sweet. Give him my best," Heather said.

"I will."

Everyone else ended up hearing my plans and asked that I give Four their well-wishes too. Heather had noticed that I had become close with Four during Phase Two but I was glad that she never bothered to ask about our developing friendship. She didn't need to. She knew that I was with Eric, and he was the one that I wanted. I nodded at them all before jumping up and slipping from the training room after Eric came to get Hunter.

Trying not to get caught, I walked through the sub-levels of Dauntless, taking a few wrong turns before coming up on Four's apartment. His was harder to find than Eric's. There was less lighting down here. I walked up to the door that was marked with Four's name and knocked softly. It took him nearly two minutes to answer the door. When I saw him my jaw nearly dropped. He had a green tint to his face and he was covered in a think sheen of sweat. He looked like a corpse.

"Whoa. You look like hell. Drink a little too much last night?" I teased.

Teasing seemed to be the wrong way to go about it. Four looked pissed that I was here. Maybe he was just pissed to be alive right now. He certainly looked like he had seen better days. Or maybe it was the bags under his eyes and the red tint to them. Eric was right about Four not doing that well right now.

"Good to see you, Alex," Four said. "Come on in."

His voice was raw, like he had been yelling a lot recently. He moved to let me into the room and I did so. His apartment looked like Damien's but it was larger. It was almost the size of Eric's. And their rooms were decorated very similarly. I almost wanted to laugh. I took a seat on his couch where a few blankets were laid out.

"Cute apartment," I said.

"Glad you like it. Smaller than Eric's, I assume?" Four asked.

"Just a bit."

A furious blush fell over my face. Even though Four knew what Eric and I did together, it didn't make it any less embarrassing. "You don't ever eat the fish here, do you?" Four asked.

I shook my head. "No. I don't like fish," I said.

"Good. Don't do it."

"Why?"

If he hadn't looked green before he sure did now. "Take a guess," Four growled.

The realization hit me and I couldn't help the tiny smile that fell over my face. "You have food poisoning?" I asked.

Four nodded and I had to stifle a laugh. He turned an angry glare on me as he walked over to me. It seemed like at any moment he might keel over and die. It didn't help with the look that he was giving me. I leaned over and let out another snorting laugh. It was hysterical that someone like Four had actually gotten food poisoning.

"Look, Four, I'm sorry but it's funny! Someone like you got food poisoning just because you ate fish," I laughed.

It was true. Someone as great as Four getting sick over something stupid like a piece of bad fish. Four scowled at me. "You're an ass," Four growled.

"Don't you dare die on me. We still have things to take care of," I said, half-joking and half-serious.

To my surprise Four actually smiled at me. I thought that he was going to yell at me. "I'm not leaving you, Alex. I promised you that I'd be there until the end for you. We're in this together," he told me seriously.

"Thanks."

The two of us looked at each other and I smiled as I leaned back on the couch with him, tucking my feet underneath myself. Four took a seat on the couch and I watched as he wrapped the blanket around himself. I would have thought that he was boiling. He looked like he was sweating a lot.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? You should be in training. And I somehow doubt that Eric gave you his permission to come here instead," Four told me after a moment.

Four was no moron. He knew that Eric would never give me explicit permission to be here. "Of course he didn't. He's taking care of the fear sims right now so I decided I'd slip out for a little while and check on you," I told him.

Four smiled at me as he slunk down to lay on the couch. "I'm twenty. I don't need you babysitting me," Four said.

"You'll always need me to babysit you," I shot back.

It was suddenly like he was a twelve year old boy. It was the most vulnerable I'd ever seen him. I sort of liked it. "No, I won't," Four growled.

"You want me to make you soup or something?" I asked.

His eyebrow quirked up and he smiled. "Soup?" he repeated.

I felt a little foolish for offering in the first place. "Yeah," I muttered.

"Are you going to play mother for me?" he asked.

"Shut up," I snapped, scowling at him. "I'm not your mother, I just care."

"Just kidding. Yeah, actually, if you would that would be wonderful. It's up in the cabinets," he said.

"Okay."

Nodding at him, I went to head into his kitchen and search for the soup cans. It was a bit smaller than Eric's. And Four's was a little lighter. He had some white mixed into his kitchen while Eric's was all gray. They both reminded me of kitchens that belonged in Abnegation. It was almost funny to see how much they did share in common with other Factions. I walked over to his pantry and slid it open. As I looked it over I nearly laughed.

Four had his food stacked neatly, from largest to smallest. I couldn't help but to wonder if it was a habit from Abnegation. I'd heard they were tidy people. He didn't have a ton of food in his apartment but it was more than Eric had. I grabbed a can of soup and walked over to his fridge in curiosity. There wasn't much in it. There was some meat, butter, milk, and a few vegetables and fruits. This time I did laugh. Four had no liquor in his apartment.

It was so very stereotypical of a Stiff to not have any liquor in their homes. In a way they were extremely similar to Amity. They didn't believe that alcohol was needed. Of course we tended to be loose enough without it. Sometimes the Abnegation really needed it. Actually they always really needed the liquor.

"Something funny?" Four asked.

I walked to pour the soup into a pot on the stove. "Yeah," I said softly, turning up the heat on the stove.

I had only used Eric's once and I had burned the burgers that I was trying to cook. Needless to say we had resorted to having Eric running out to the dining room to bring back food. That was the last time that I had attempted to cook anything. It would probably be the last time that I would ever cook.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's just that no one in Dauntless seems to have actual food in their apartments. I think you have the most food of anyone I've seen," I said with a small smile.

In Amity there had always been a ton of food stacked everywhere. "How many apartments have you been in?" Four asked sharply.

"Three, including yours. Eric has barely anything. Microwavable soup, cereal, and milk," I said.

They were the only three things that Eric ever had in his apartment. "No point in having to go and make your own food if Dauntless has the same thing down in the dining room. Plus a lot of people don't have time to cook. Especially not leaders," Four said.

I snorted under my breath and nodded. "I don't know. It doesn't seem that Eric actually does anything but read those stupid manuals all day long," I said.

"Trust me when I say that he does a lot more than that," Four said.

"I know. I just like to mess with him and say that he doesn't do anything."

Four smiled at me. We were in silence for a few moments before Four spoke again. "You gonna be alright in the fear sim today?" he asked.

It took me a moment but I finally nodded. I wasn't sure that I wanted to have to show Eric my fear but I didn't have a choice. I just knew that I would have to act normally. Eric would know that something was off if I started acting funny. I would be able to get out of it without having to show my Divergence. I knew that I could.

"I'll handle it. I know. Whatever the fear sim is, make sure that I get out of it without showing my Divergence," I said.

"You can do it. I know that you can," Four said.

"Thanks. I'm thinking that the sim is going to change again. The last time that we saw it, it was pretty obvious that I had conquered it," I explained.

I had beaten it. But it never felt like I was really beating it. Four nodded at me. "You have. I agree. It's going to change again," he confirmed.

But that was when I couldn't help but to wonder if I was getting close to the end of my fears. It seemed like I had seen so many fears already and we were running out time. Although I knew that I could have seen far more fears than I actually had. It seemed that I was working through it so much slower than my friends were.

"Just make sure to keep calm," Four said.

"You know me. Calm as a... cucumber? Is that the saying?" I asked dumbly.

"It's cool as a cucumber, you moron."

We both laughed. "Shut up," I snapped.

"You know as well as I do that the computer can be a little hard to see through. Just don't worry about it. Take your time. Eric will be irritated by the time that he gets to your fear sim. Trust me one that," Four said, going back to the topic at hand.

My eyebrow raised as I stirred the soup. I wasn't sure if it was done. "And how do you know that?" I asked.

This time Four looked slightly amused. And I was surprised. Normally when it came to something about Eric, Four looked pissed or irritated. They hated anything to do with each other. I still didn't quite understand why Four and Eric hated each other so much and one day I was going to be sure to actually find out why they hated each other so much.

"Eric has done the fear sims before when I had something else that I needed to do. Normally it's only in cases like this. When I'm too sick to do something or when I have something else that is important to do. A mission. Something of that sort," he said.

I nodded at him. We were almost to the end and it was the first time that Eric was monitoring our fears. "Yeah, I figured that was why he was there," I said.

"He always hates having to deal with the initiates fears. He thinks that they're pathetic," Four explained.

A little smile graced my face and I tried to shake it away. Some of my friends did have silly fears. One of my favorites was when Jax had told us he was afraid of these people that had once been performers. They were called clowns. Full grown men wearing colorful makeup and making kids smile sounded creepy to me but not something that I would be afraid of.

"I hope that Cole is done with the scorpion fear. For his own sake," I said softly.

Four must have had fears that he genuinely enjoyed watching. My snake fear was probably one. "Your friends have some interesting fears," Four said.

"That so?"

"Most of them are afraid of things like heights, animals, or physical properties. Very few of you actually have rational fears. You're one of the few."

I nodded as I began to ladle the soup into the bowl that I had placed out. "I guess I have a lot of real things to be afraid of," I muttered.

Four nodded at me as I grabbed the bowl off of the counter and walked it over. "Unfortunately you do," Four muttered.

Frowning softly, I handed the soup to him. "Here you go. Let it cool down for a minute," I told him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Leaning over the couch, I handed him the soup until he grabbed it. I smiled at his momentary weakness as I handed him a napkin. I felt like my mother when she had taken care of me on the days when I had caught a cold. It was clear to see my Amity roots right now as I was taking care of Four the way that a mother would her child.

It was odd. Sometimes we were like brother and sister. Other times we were like the best of friends. We could also be like the worst of enemies. Occasionally it seemed that Four and I were father and daughter. And now it seemed that we could add mother and son into the mix. We were quite the pair.

"Alex?" Four called, startling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I asked, taking a seat next to Four again. He moved his stretched out legs to give me room to sit.

"How much do you know about Candor?"

His question had caught me off guard. If there was anything that I was expecting him to ask me it was not about how much I knew of Candor. And it wasn't much. The most that I knew came from listening to Iris go on and on about the Faction that she eventually wanted to end up in, and the few times that we had talked about it in class.

"Not much. I know that Jack Kang is the representative. I know that it's in the center of Chicago, not far from Erudite. It's in a skyscraper. They live in the Merchandise Mart. We know it as the Merciless Mart." That was the nickname of the compound. "To get through initiation they take lie detector tests all day every day. I think that they take five months to get through initiation. They use the most serums of anyone besides Dauntless," I recited, like it was out of a textbook.

Four nodded at me. "Jack Kang is a friend of mine. I think that he can be a friend of yours too," Four said.

My eyebrows raised at Four's words. I wasn't sure what he was getting at. I didn't know Jack Kang and I wasn't sure how he was going to be able to help me. "How?" I asked.

"I'm heading there in a few weeks to talk with him. I need to try and sway him from producing the serum for Jeanine. Anything to keep her plan in the dark for a little while longer," Four said softly.

"Okay."

It didn't take long for a little plan to begin forming in my mind. It wasn't even a plan. It was like the seed of something akin to a plan. If I was able to get into Candor and get a vial of that compliance serum I had an idea of how to beat Jeanine. But it was dangerous. More than any other plan that we'd come up with.

"Do you know how well that the compliance serum works right now?" I asked Four.

He shrugged, looking less than impressed with the results of the serum. That didn't bode well for me. "In trial tests, not well. It doesn't even work on everyone," Four said.

"It doesn't?" I asked.

For my plan to work, it needed to work. "But that was a few months ago. I think that it's been progressing quickly. The last that I heard was that they were able to control people for a maximum of about ten minutes," Four explained.

"That's a start," I muttered.

Ten minutes might be all that I needed. "It doesn't completely eradicate thought either. The people that have been undergoing to serum are still well aware of what's going on. Jeanine wants it so that they don't know what's happening. They won't remember what's happening. Why?" Four asked.

Suspicion had risen in his eyes and I knew that he was thinking that I was getting a stupid idea. He was right. The thoughts that I had running back and forth in my mind weren't exactly the brightest in the world. Not that I wanted to tell him that. He seemed to like to shoot my plans down the moment that I suggested them.

"I think I have the beginning of a plan. It's not much but it's something. And it all starts with you bringing me to Candor whenever you go," I said.

He took a moment before nodding. "Alright," Four agreed and I fought back a smile. "What's this plan about?"

"I don't know," I immediately answered.

Four looked like he might have smacked me had he been feeling a little better. I needed him to trust that I knew what I was doing. "What's that supposed to mean?" Four asked.

"It's not like I have no clue what I'm doing but I need to make sure that this is going to work. It's not even much of a plan. It's just a hint of an idea. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. But I need you to help me. I need you to get me into Candor with you," I begged.

The conflict in Four's eyes was obvious. He knew as well as I did that we were running out of time to come up with a plan. We were desperate at this point. We had only another few weeks until training was over and I was to meet Jeanine. But I was also his friend and he didn't want to do something to get me killed.

"I'll get you in there. Do you know where you need to go?" Four asked.

"Yes," I said, even though it was a lie.

I would just need to find Iris and Florian. They would help me but I would tell them as little as possible. I was not going to get them injured or killed because of me. "I'll trust you on this one. But Alex, eventually you're going to need to tell me the truth. I'm not letting you go to Jeanine without even a hint of a plan," he said.

"I will," I told Four honestly.

He would need to know the entire plan if we were going to be successful. That put an end to our serious conversation. We both leaned back after that and chatted for a few hours about absolutely nothing. It was nice. I already knew everything about my friends and Eric wasn't much for idle chit-chat. He was good to talk with but I enjoyed learning more about Four. He was the one that I barely got any chance to actually socialize with.

I had gotten myself lunch a while ago and sighed as I looked up at the clock. By now we were getting close to dinner. And that meant that my sim was coming up. I had to be getting back. It was getting close to when I knew that my turn would be. Not that I wanted Eric to know what my fears were. I was nervous that I might accidentally reveal something about my Divergence.

Four had placed down a book on the table to look at his watch and turn back to me. I knew that he was thinking the same thing that I was. It was time for me to get going. Not that either one of us really wanted me to leave. I was having a nice time just sitting here and having a good time together.

"You should get going. It's getting close to when you need to do your fear sim," Four said.

"Alright."

I nodded and made my way to stand. Four was leaning over the edge of the couch and I felt a little hint of pity for the trainer. He looked like he was about to be sick again. He had been sick a few times over the past few hours. And each time seemed worse than the last. I headed to the door but before I could leave I turned back to Four. He was back upright on the couch but it seemed that at any minute he might head back to the trash can.

"Try to keep drinking fluids. Flush it out. Feel better soon," I said.

"Thanks, Alex."

"I'm not sure how comfortable I am with Eric seeing my fears," I muttered more to myself than him as I left the apartment.

"Good luck," Four called after me.

"Thanks."

It only took me a minute before I came back to the fear sim room. It looked like it was just Draven and Aaron that were still left to go. It seemed that my timing had been exactly right. Right as I took my seat I watched as the door opened and Draven walked in. I sat up against Aaron and closed my eyes as I waited for Eric to call me in.

My mind was wandering all over the place and I forced myself to slow down. I was thinking mostly about what my next fear was going to be. I knew that it was going to be something new today. There was no way that there was anything different than what I had already done with my fear of everyone turning their backs on me. I also thought about how many more fears I had. I wasn't sure. Four was convinced that I was still going to see another two or three before I was done.

It wasn't even that that I had to think about. There was my fear landscape that I had to think about too. Everyone that I had spoken to said that the landscape was worse. That it felt like it was never going to end. I just hated knowing that we only had two weeks to practice it. It was so short compared to the amount of time we'd had for everything else.

It didn't take long for me to shove out the intrusive thought about what would happen since Jeanine was going to be there to watch my final fear landscape. Or having to deal with her afterwards. Those thoughts had only led me to think about what Eric would think about seeing my fear. He would probably think that I was weak.

It didn't really matter. I knew that my time with him was coming to an end. I hated thinking that in three weeks he was going to know what I was. There were only going to be two outcomes to the scenario. He was either going to decide that I was dangerous and needed to be taken care of, or maybe he would save me. Those were the only ways that this was going to end. I knew which one I would prefer to happen. But I also knew which one was more likely. And they weren't the same.

It begged the question of whether or not Eric would really have the heart to kill me. I liked to thing that he wouldn't, but I knew that it was just wishful thinking. I knew that he would kill me. He had done it in his fear sim just for a stupid spot for leadership. He had shown me. He believed that Divergent's were dangerous. Jeanine Matthews had poisoned his mind, just like everyone else. He would think that I was a threat to the Faction system the moment that he found out what I was. I just hoped that when he looked back this would be the version of me that he remembered.

"Earth to Amity," a harsh voice called to me.

I glanced up and out of my daze to realize that no one else was in the room with me. Aaron must have gone and went without me noticing. Of course I wasn't known for being the most observant person. I smiled bashfully and stood to walk into the sim room. Eric closed the door behind us and I moved to take a seat in the reclining chair.

He was standing over near the computers and I smiled at him. He was muttering to himself softly and looked pissed. I assumed that the other transfers had probably had fears that really were annoying to watch. Of course I was sure that Eric thought that everyone's fears were stupid. In a matter of moments I was sure that he would think that my fears were stupid. I was definitely hoping that the snake pit fear was done with.

"You look happy," I teased.

"Thrilled."

"How have you been enjoying the other initiates fears?" I asked, knowing that it would push his buttons.

He did well at not giving me the rise that I wanted to see from him. He merely smirked and I rolled my eyes. "Did you know that some of your friends are afraid of me?" Eric asked.

He was smirking at me. "I can't say that I'm shocked," I said.

I assumed that it made him happy that people were afraid of him. I wasn't sure whether or not I would want people to be afraid of me. I smiled at him and shook my head, plopping myself in the chair. Of course people were afraid of him. He was terrifying. Everyone was afraid of him. Even I was afraid of him sometimes.

"It's good. Keeps them in line," he said.

I couldn't help but to laugh. "Alright, tough guy," I teased.

"You like it," Eric said, placing his lips against my throat.

"I do."

Eric pressed a small kiss against the inside of my neck and I cringed slightly. It was moments like these that I wanted him more than anything. But I couldn't. Not in the chair that we did our fear sims in. No way. I shook my head at him and gently shoved him backwards, leaning back against the chair a little further. I just wanted to get this over with.

"Come on then. Let's get this over with. I want dinner," I told him with a little laugh.

Eric smirked and grabbed the needle in his hand. It looked much more menacing in Eric's hand rather than in Four's. He held it to my neck and I sucked in a breath. This was my least favorite part. And I had no doubt in my mind that Eric wouldn't give me the same warning that Four did. Eric's fingers trailed down my neck and I gave a little shiver. He knew every weak spot on my body.

"I'll come over after I eat," I told him, trying to think about something other than what I wanted him to do.

He smirked without bothering to look away. His hands were on my shoulders and I tensed as the tip of the needle sat against my skin. "I look forward to it," Eric said.

He actually looked extremely bored even though his voice held a teasing tone. I shook my head gently as he pushed the needle into my neck. The plunger went down and I felt the liquid flood into my veins. It was horrible. It felt like I was drowning from the inside. I tried to remind myself before I faded that Eric didn't know what I was. He couldn't know. It was the last rational thought that flit through my mind before the world went dark.

When the world faded back into view I glanced around the room. I was standing in a room that was extremely familiar to me. It was the training room. Everything looked like it normally did, except that it was empty other than me. I was looking around to see if anyone was lurking in the corner waiting for me. I had a feeling that I was going to get attacked soon. These sims never went well for too long. I saw a shadow move through the corner and I followed it closely.

The figure stepped out and I smiled. It wasn't who I had expected it to be. It was Eric. He walked up to me slowly and a knot formed in my stomach. Was I somehow still afraid of him? He grabbed me along the back of the neck before pulling me in for a kiss. It was deep and passionate and I smiled against his lips.

His hands wound their way around my waist and I grinned, giving a little laugh. They squeezed my waist possessively and I gave a soft chuckle. But I sobered quickly. This was still a sim. Something was bound to go wrong. But I smiled anyways. He was watching this on the other side. I had to pretend that I didn't realize that this wasn't real. I just wanted it to hurry up. I wanted to know what was about to happen.

"Hey. Is everything alright?" I asked him softly.

He nodded and smiled at me. I knew that something was wrong right off of the bat. He never smiled at me like that. His smile never looked somewhat fake like that. He was always amused when he smiled. He looked a little cold. I had to pretend that I didn't know what was going on. So I gave him a smile. Eric leaned forward to give me another soft kiss on the lips. It was one of the sweetest ways that I had ever seen him. It was strange. Maybe my fear was of him changing? His hands were sitting on my hips gently.

"Come on. Let's spar," he said.

Eric moved us into the center of the room. We were back into the same rings that I had fought my opponents with. "Sparring, huh?" I asked.

Eric nodded at me. "Just for a while," he said lowly.

"I would have thought that by now you'd know I'd be able to beat your ass," I teased.

It was a lie and we both knew it. Eric grinned as we ducked into a fighting stance. It felt like it was another normal day. It didn't feel like it was a fear sim. I followed him into the fighting stance. We circled each other for a minute before Eric came charging at me, just like I had been expecting him to do. I was too slow to move out of his way and he tackled me to the ground. We both went sprawling out, myself underneath him. His hands grasped at my flailing arms and he pinned me down.

Using all of the strength that I had, I tried to kick my leg into his side but he stepped down on my knee, probably putting a little more force into it than necessary. His hands were tight in my hair, yanking it to the side. But it wasn't the way that I liked it in the bedroom. It fucking hurt. This whole thing hurt. His feet were down on my shins and I cried out as he angled them onto me harder. He was genuinely hurting me.

"Eric. Get off. It's just a sparring match and you're hurting me," I told him desperately.

He didn't care. I had a terrible feeling that he wouldn't care no matter what I said. This was a fear sim and I was afraid of him. I should have known. I was afraid of him hurting me. He yanked my head off to the side again and I groaned at the pain. His hand came down onto my cheek and I cried out at the sudden pain. I tried to yell for him to stop once more but he ignored me, raining another hit down onto my eye. My face gave a little twinge and I tried to wiggle away from him.

"No. I don't think that I will. Look at you. You can't even fight against me," he sneered.

"Get off!" I shouted.

I didn't want to hit him but I had to do something. I swung out at him to punch him but he was faster. He grabbed my arms and wrenched them off to the side. There was a little popping in my shoulder and I cried out as he dislocated it. He was smiling at me. My shins were killing me as I tried to wiggle away from him. But his grip was too tight on me. I wasn't going to be able to move until he let me.

"Eric. What are you doing? Come on. Let me up!" I yelled.

He laughed. His arms were still tight over me. He wasn't going to fight, but he was about to end this thing. "The little Amity," he purred.

He knew that it was the one insult that would always get to me. "Please stop," I begged.

"I remembered that night when you were in Roberts's apartment and they were about to kill you. Remember me saving you? How you threw yourself at me after it happened? How I made you think that I could possibly care for a poor, pathetic, little Amity like you? I can't believe you actually fell for it!"

Eric continued to laugh as I sat, frozen, underneath him. His body was strong against mine, but I wasn't lusting after him. I wanted him away from me. I knew just how dangerous Eric could be. In my sim he would be even worse. He laughed as I threw up my hips to buck him off, but it did nothing. He was too heavy.

Instead of merely watching me struggle like the Eric I knew would have, he threw a fist down at my face. I ducked out of the way but I was too slow. The hit landed directly on me and I cried out as my nose crunched underneath his hand. He spit out a few nasty curses at me. He sounded like he really meant it. But it was just a sim. I knew that.

"You're lying. I know you are," I said pathetically.

My words were a challenge to get out as the blood that was filling my nasal cavities was making my voice stuffy and hard to understand. "Am I?" he mocked.

Even when we had hated each other he had never spoken to me this way. He had never acted this way with me. "I know you are," I mumbled desperately.

"Remember when you threw the knife at me and I brought you out to the Chasm? I almost threw you over it. I should have. But there were cameras. And I couldn't lose my spot because of you."

His words stung even more than they should have, considering he had killed me in a sim. He hadn't even known that it was fake. "You don't mean that," I pleaded.

"So I decided to hurt you in a worse way. Make you think that I genuinely care for you and then, just when you think that you might have changed me, show you the truth," he snarled.

That was what hurt the most. His words could have been true. I had to believe that it was just the sim talking. I threw my knee up into his but I was sure that it hurt me more than it hurt him. He responded to my hit almost instantly as he threw his fist directly into my stomach. I rolled over as much as he allowed and spit out some blood. His laugh was loud and teasing. He was enjoying this. But I didn't believe him. Eric cared about me. I knew that he did. Maybe he didn't love me but I didn't care. I knew that some part of him cared.

"That isn't the truth. Tell me, after everything that you've told me about your family, your childhood, your fears, that you don't care at all for me. You didn't do all of this to hurt me," I said.

Unlike the real Eric, no flash of emotion went through his eyes. I knew that I had caught the sim. Eric did care for me. As much as he wanted to admit that he didn't care about anyone other than himself I knew that he cared about me. He had made that much obvious. He would have never told me any stories about himself if I meant that little to him.

"But I did. How can you be so stupid to think that I would really care for you? I've told you before, no woman will ever change me," he snarled.

He wasn't wrong about that. My Eric had said that. "I never asked you to change," I begged.

"You know Sarah? You mean as much to me as she did. Probably less. At least she was good in bed," he said with a laugh.

And that fucking hurt to hear. Eric had never let Sarah spend the night in his bed. He hadn't even listened to her when she spoke. He looked as bored as someone could be when she talked to him. He at least looked amused when we talked. I knew that he cared about me. He had to care about me.

"You don't mean that," I said.

"I do."

My voice was wavering with the tears that were building up in my eyes. Even though I knew that it wasn't real that didn't mean that it didn't hurt to hear Eric say all of the things that I was the most afraid of happening. He cared. There was no chance that he didn't care about me. There had to be a little piece of him that cared about me.

"Tell me that you've spent the past two and a half months hating me. All building up to this moment. You told me about your parents. You told me about Cameron. You told me about everything. You even let me see one of your fears. Your fear was having to kill me!" I yelled. I was trying to keep calm but it was hard. This felt like my Eric. Even though I knew it wasn't. "You have to care."

I was half talking to this Eric and half to the one that was watching. I couldn't help but to wonder what that Eric was thinking right now. "You think that it's that hard to make a fear like that? It isn't. And remember, I killed you in that fear. I'll kill you now," he snarled.

He wasn't wrong. He did kill me in that fear. Even though I could tell that he regretted it he had still killed me. "You didn't want to," I whispered.

"You've asked for it. For all of it. The cameras in the Chasm? They're disabled today. Undergoing maintenance. Good timing, wouldn't you agree?" he asked me with a smile. So it wasn't just to hear him insult me. He was going to kill me. "I don't care about you, Amity. And now I'm going to show you just how little you mean to me."

His words hurt, but his movements hurt even more. His hands wrapped around my hair and I screamed loudly as he stood from me and began to drag me through the training room. I could feel the hair tearing and my scalp burning but I fought against him. I kicked at him and screamed again, praying that someone would come. But I knew that no one would. Eric was walking us directly towards the Chasm and tears were now leaking out. Partially from the pain and partially from the fear.

I sent back a kick at Eric's leg and managed to connect. But he treated it as nothing more than a little brush of my foot. He stepped down on my shin and I screamed loudly as his hands tightened on my hair. As wildly as I thrashed, nothing deterred him. We finally made it into the Chasm as he threw me under the bars, letting my head dip over the rushing current. I was just barely able to wrap my legs around the bars to keep Eric from throwing me completely off to my untimely death.

"Eric! Please! Stop!" I begged as he gave me another hard shove.

"Just stop fighting. It makes it easier," he snarled.

He swiped my hands off of the railings and I screamed as my nails caught him across the face. He dropped my hands in pain and I wrapped them back around the pole. He didn't take long to recover as he stomped heavily on my leg before grabbing it and tossing it over the edge of the Chasm. I yelled out as I tried to force myself back up onto the walkway. Eric was toying with me. He wanted me to struggle before letting me die.

Fighting harder than I ever had before, I managed to pull myself back up onto the railing before he attacked me again. But that time I was ready. Even though I fell to the ground I wrapped my legs around his torso. He thought that he had the upper hand in this fight. But it was me. This was just a sim and I had to beat it.

"Stop fighting Amity," he said, somewhere in between laughing and screaming.

Once more he tried to toss me over the edge of the Chasm. I grabbed onto the railing and swung myself up without waiting. I knew that Eric was growing tired of the game. The next time he could get me over the edge of the Chasm he would kill me. As he grabbed me again I caught the edge of his shirt. It had clearly surprised him. We both went tumbling to the edge of the walkway as we sprawled across the cold railings. I brought my knees into my chest before sending the balls of my feet as hard as I could into Eric's chest. He was still recovering and the kick caught him off guard.

He went tumbling to the edge of the Chasm. As he slipped off I reached down to catch him. I was too slow. Despite desperately trying to catch his hand I missed. The water was making it too slippery. He fell over the edge of the Chasm and down into the waters below. He looked horrified in his last moments. I laid back down on the edge of the Chasm, freezing and soaked to the bone. Tears were flowing down my face as Eric's name escaped my lips softly. Blood was dripping out of my mouth and nose and I tried to wipe it away. But I couldn't. It was like I was paralyzed. It didn't last long before my eyes rolled back in my head.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I shot bolt upright in the chair and let out a few gasps. Despite knowing that it was a sim it made no difference. It always felt real. A little shout escaped my lips as I leaned forward. My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I leaned over the edge of the chair and dropped my head into my hands.

"You alright?" Eric asked behind me.

"No."

Despite saying that I wasn't okay, I barely nodded at him. He came to stand in front of me and I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he leaned in between my slightly open legs. One of his hands came to rest on each of my thighs. They were tighter than normal. There was something almost possessive about the way that he was holding me. He was rubbing small circles into my legs.

"You know that it was just a sim," he said softly.

It was as softly as I figured Eric was capable of. Once more I gave him a tiny nod. "I know," I said weakly.

My breathing was still heavy as Eric leaned into me. His hands wound their way up my sides and I let him move my hands away from my face when he reached them. Even though his face was steely I still saw the little flash of hurt in his eyes. I felt terrible. I knew that having to watch himself hurt me and not being able to do anything about it must have been terrible. I actually knew almost exactly what it felt like.

He was silent for a moment as we both merely stared at each other. It was clear that neither one of us knew what to say or do. What could we say or do? Nothing. Eric placed one hand on my hip and grabbed my hand with the other. He pressed a small kiss against the inside of my wrist and I felt my heart flutter slightly.

"Do you really think that I would do that?" Eric asked, stunning me out of my thoughts.

There was no emotion on his face but I could tell that my sim had hurt him. "No," I answered immediately.

But I wasn't really sure that it was the true answer and it seemed like Eric knew that too. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered again, softer this time. "I guess some part of me does. Think about what you told me once, Eric. You told me that no one really meant anything to me. How many times did you tell me that I meant nothing to you?"

I didn't need to hear the answer. I already knew that it was far too many times. "I never meant it," he muttered.

But could I believe him? "You did throw me off of the Chasm once, to be fair," I said.

And that was completely true. He had thrown me off of the Chasm. Or he had backed me into the Chasm railing and it gave way. He clearly wasn't amused with my poor attempt at humor. He looked a little bothered that I would even bring up the Chasm incident. We rarely spoke about it. In fact was almost never spoke about it.

"It was an accident. You should know, I wouldn't ever do that. I'm not going to hurt you. No matter what you think," he said.

I gave him a blank nod. He would. He didn't know it yet, but he would. The second that he found out what I was he was going to kill me. Hurt me. Something. But we would never go back to this. Without giving me a second to regain my thoughts Eric pushed me back against the wall and pinned me in between his arms.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

That comment had thrown me. Did I trust him? I wasn't completely sure. "What?" I asked stupidly.

His body was close to mine and I felt myself give a small shiver as his hands landed at my hips. "Do you trust me?" he repeated.

It took me a moment but I finally gathered my thoughts. "Yes," I said.

He didn't smile at me but I could tell that a little flash of happiness passed through his eyes. "Good," he mumbled.

His body forced itself into mine and all protests in my mouth went out the window as his mouth attached itself to mine. My hands wound their way around his neck as his wrapped around my waist and pulled me as close to him as possible. We moved together for a moment as his tongue slipped into my mouth. My hands wound their way down his back and underneath his shirt. His muscles were tensing underneath my hands and I smirked into his mouth. It was obvious that he was intending on finishing this later as his hands tightened against my hips. He finally pulled away from me and stared at me with dark eyes.

"Go to dinner," he said.

He was panting slightly, clearly out of breath. He had once more left me stunned. He always left me stunned. It seemed to be one of the many gifts that Eric had. I nodded stupidly at him and turned back from Eric. He leaned forward and I laughed softly as his lips traced the skin on the back of my neck. My hair was pulled up and I was damned glad that it was. I laughed softly under my breath as his hands once more came to rest on my hips.

"For the record, I really don't think that you would throw me off of the Chasm. For a second time anyways," I teased.

Eric snorted. We had moved past the Chasm incident. It still sent shivers down my spine to think about but I knew that the entire situation was an accident. Neither one of us had meant what had happened that day. Eric's lips were barely brushing my spine as I leaned back and let my hips fall against his.

"And I knew that it wasn't real."

I could feel him smirking into my neck as he gave me a soft hum. "How?" he asked.

"You called me bad in bed. Worse than Sarah."

He laughed against my neck and I smiled to myself. The vibrations from his laughter sent chills down my spine as I smirked to myself once more. At least I had a feeling that he was agreeing with me. Or he had damn well better. I would have been super embarrassed had he said that I really was worse than him.

"Trust me, you're much better than she was. You're better than them all," he mumbled against my neck.

"You're better than the rest of them, too," I said.

"I never had a doubt," Eric said haughtily.

A blush rose to my face. I wasn't sure but I was thinking that he might have been talking about more than in bed. Or maybe that was just what I wanted to think. He gave me a gentle nudge in the back and I knew that he was telling me that it was time to get out. I nodded at him and without bothering to turn back and tell him that I would be back later I headed out into the halls.

As the door closed behind me I could hear Eric moving around. I didn't bother to slow and wait for him as I headed out and moved into the main dining room. My friends were all at the table that we normally sat at and I walked over to them. A plate was already laid out for me in between Buck and Heather.

"Hey, Alex," Draven greeted.

"Hey, guys," I chirped back.

Everyone else greeted me as I took my normal seat. Since I was normally never in the dining room before six, being the number one ranked initiate, the kitchen was almost always closed. My friends had been good about getting me food before the kitchen closed. They had gotten me a normal burger today.

"You know I think that you're the most chipper of us that I've seen come back from the fear sims with Eric," Draven told me.

It made me laugh softly. All of the rest of my friends seemed to think that it was pretty funny too as they all laughed with me. Some of them looked a little off and I knew that it was because they had been forced to deal with Eric all day. I knew that he wasn't easy to deal with. Especially the initiates. Eric had never been one to like us very much. Hell, it had taken him five months just to realize that he didn't completely hate me.

"Dealing with Eric today reminded me of just how good we have it with Four," Dante said.

I smiled softly as all of my friends mumbled their agreement. "What did he do to you?" Heather asked.

"I thought that he was going to kill me when I took more than nine minutes in my fear sim," Dante said.

Once more everyone laughed softly. I was pretty sure that today it had taken me about five minutes to get out of my fear sim. I knew that it beat Eric's average time. He had admitted to me that he had averaged eight minutes during his time as an initiate. Although that was still impressive.

"At least you only took nine!" Jax yelled.

I smiled softly at him. That seemed a little long for him. He was normally in and out in a pretty short amount of time. "How long did you take?" I asked curiously.

"I had a new fear today and it took me a little over eleven minutes to solve it. Eric called me pathetic, and other things that I care not to repeat, before literally throwing me out of the room," Jax said.

Poor Jax. Even with a new fear it had only taken me about five minutes. "Sounds like Eric," Buck said.

"Does anyone know what happened to Four and when the hell he's coming back?" Jax asked.

Of course I knew but I wasn't sure that I should tell them. Would it sound bad if I told them that I had found out what was wrong with Four because I had gone to visit him while I was supposed to be waiting for my fear sim? Everyone at the table was shaking their heads so I decided that I might as well let them know. Maybe they wouldn't ask how I knew.

"Four is sick," I finally said.

"Sick?" Heather asked.

"He ate the fish last night and he has food poisoning. He's gonna be back in a few days," I explained.

Thankfully they weren't going to ask me how I found out that Four was sick. "And just how did you get out of your fear sim with him unscathed?" Buck asked.

My eyes shot over to him at his words. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"The two of you used to barely be able to go a few hours without trying to kill each other," he said.

I smiled at them. "I think we all remember their magnificent fights," Dante said, laughing at the memories.

He was right about that. But there was no way that I could tell him the truth. That Eric and I were sort-of together. Heather was smiling as well, glancing down into her lap. It was a strange story and I would have to be pretty fast about whatever it was that I wanted to tell them. Anything other than the truth, that is.

"Eric yelled at me just because he saw that I was afraid of my family all turning their backs on me. He told me that it was cowardly. And the whole Faction before blood nonsense," Buck mumbled.

Sighing softly, I nodded. Of course. It wasn't just because of the Faction before blood thing. Eric hated anything to do with family all because of his own. And I understood that. I thought about saying something, but I knew that Eric's hatred for his family wasn't any of my business to tell them about.

"Well it was probably because I get out of my fear sims so fast," I said softly.

I knew that everyone was amazed that I had gotten out of the sim room without being beaten half to death or crying. "He just let you go unscathed?" Cole asked.

"He didn't have time to be annoyed with me. And he still snapped at me," I lied.

Heather was staring at me like she knew that it was a lie. And of course she knew that it was a lie. She knew that any time Eric snapped at me it was more than likely a joke. She was actually giving me a look that told me that she knew what I would be doing tonight. My cheeks burned as I looked back at the boys.

"I just tried to brush him off. That's the way that I've learned that you have to handle him," I said, and that time it was truthful.

Heather was smiling at me and I turned to look at her. "Very impressive, darling," Heather told me with a smirk.

I couldn't help but to grin back at her. We both leaned in to hug each other and ignored the eye rolls that we were getting from the boys. They didn't understand just how funny it was that they still thought that Eric and I hated each other. I did appreciate that Heather wasn't insulting Eric. I figured that it was because I was around.

"He didn't really yell at me during my sim. He just snapped at me to make it fast," she admitted with a shrug.

Part of me wondered if that was actually the truth. I also wanted to know how Eric treated my best friend when I wasn't around. Off to my side I heard Cole groan and I turned over to look at him. He had his head in his hands and I imagined that nothing good had happened in his fear.

"Well I'm sure it was better for all of you than it was for me!" Cole yelled.

Everyone that hadn't been looking turned over to look at him. We were all wondering what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" Heather asked.

"My fucking fear had Eric in it," Cole said softly and I snorted.

I knew how that felt. But our fears were of totally different things. And mine hurt as much as it scared me. "What happened?" Heather asked, stifling her laughter.

"All of the Dauntless members were coming towards me and fighting with me. They were all attacking me and I thought that I was going to die. Four and Eric were leading the attack. I'd never seen him look as happy as he was when I woke up and he realized that I was afraid of him," he said softly.

Once more I snorted loudly. But it wasn't me that drew the most attention to me. It was Jet. He was laughing louder than I had ever heard him. It had been since before Raven had left Dauntless that I'd heard him laugh that loudly. I assumed that he certainly hadn't had Eric in his fear.

"Dude, come on. You're afraid of Eric?" Jet asked.

Cole nodded slowly keeping his head aimed at the table. "Who isn't?" Cole asked.

"Everyone... but in your sim? And Four! They're both a little a little scary when they want to be but I wouldn't be too scared that they were going to actually hurt us."

I blanched at his words but managed to maintain a smile. He had no clue. No clue about anything that was really going on. "They would definitely hurt us," Buck said.

"Fair point," Jax added.

"He just looked pissed when I was in there. I'm guessing that he really didn't want to deal with us today. He probably thinks that doing the fear sims are below him," Jet said.

He was definitely right about that. And, as much as I hated to admit it, doing the fear sims were below him. The fear sims weren't what his job was. He was a leader. All his job said was that he was a leader and had to do whatever it was that kept the Faction running smoothly. He had better things to do than take care of the initiates fear sims.

"They kind of are," Heather said.

I glanced over at her. Even though Eric didn't have to deal with the initiates and we all knew it I didn't think that anyone was going to say anything against it. "What do you mean?" Cole asked his girlfriend.

"I mean come on, he's a leader. Clearly he earned his spot on leadership. I wouldn't want to have to come back and take care of the initiates just because the trainer got food poisoning. Honestly I'm surprised Max asked Eric to do it and not someone else that works in surveillance or something," Heather continued.

I shrugged at her. She was right. It would probably be a better idea to give one of the other men in surveillance the job of training the initiates. Of course there was also the issue that Max wanted someone that he trusted to be watching over the initiates. He really wanted them to be watching over me. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"Max wants someone he trusts looking over the initiates," I mumbled.

Everyone else nodded. I knew the real reason that Eric had been asked to watch over the initiates and the fear sims. He wanted to see whether or not Eric was going to find out that I was Divergent. It seemed that Max trusted Four enough, but I knew that he trusted Eric more than anyone else.

"He trusts Eric. More than he probably trusts a lot of other people in this Faction," I added.

Everyone gave a little nod. It took a few moments but the conversations started up once more. This time they were lighter hearted. It didn't take very long for us to fall back into our normal routines. We were all laughing loudly and teasing each other, yelling back and forth as loudly as we could. We were pretty much mirroring everyone else in the dining room.

We all headed into the Pit once I had finished with dinner. I had gone straight to dancing. Even when I had been dancing with Buck, Dante, and Jax, I had wondered if Eric would ever be the type to want to dance with me. Probably not. He didn't seem like the type to like to dance. The boys were all terrible dancers. I also danced with Heather, Lisa, and Serena. We were all having fun together. A few hours after dinner we were all sitting at a table together and I shifted, getting ready to leave. I saw Eric head back to his apartment not long ago.

Not bothering to wait for anyone to continue a conversation with me I gave Heather a quick nod and she smiled. She knew what I was doing. I said a quick goodnight and everyone turned from their conversations to nod and say goodnight back to me. Tonight I was going to stay in Eric's apartment. I hadn't been there recently. At least not to stay the night.

Besides I had told all of my friends this morning that I wasn't going to come back to the dorms tonight. They had all teased me but they were still supportive. And they didn't blame me. I was glad to see that everyone else seemed to be getting it on at least on occasion. And I meant everyone. Besides Amity, Dauntless seemed to be the most for open love.

"Good night, guys. I'll see everyone at breakfast tomorrow!" I yelled as I left from the table.

"Tell your man that we say hello!" Buck yelled after me.

I smiled to myself and laughed when I heard Heather give the loudest barking laugh. Everyone at the table turned to ask her what was so funny but I left before she could answer. Heather was no moron. I trusted her not to say anything to our friends. At least not about who my man was. If anything she was going to confuse them even more. And I appreciated that. I headed through the halls and chirped a quick hello to Cameron. He was leaning over a girl with green and black hair.

Clearly the blue haired girl hadn't worked out. This one seemed to be a little more open to listening to him. She was smiling and twirling her hair. As I listened to Cameron I realized exactly why. He acted just like Eric. They both knew how to turn on the charm when they needed to. As I passed them Cameron gave me a little smirk and I blushed softly. He knew exactly where I was going. And maybe one day it wouldn't embarrass me.

It didn't take me long to come up to Eric's door and when I did, I walked inside. For the first time that I had ever come into the apartment I saw that the lights were off. Eric rarely had the lights off. Hell, sometimes we slept with the lights on. I cocked my head to the side as I walked in. Maybe I was insane. I could have sworn that I had seen him walking back here earlier. Maybe he was headed somewhere else. Like Cameron's apartment. Or his office. I was so stupid.

He hadn't given me any nod or anything. I should have known that he wasn't coming back here. It felt so strange to be in the apartment without him. I had never been in here without him. I turned to leave but a hand reached out and threw me against the wall. I reached out to punch the figure but I was too slow. They pressed me back against the wall and I had no room to move.

"Good to see you," Eric purred.

My heart was hammering in my chest as I stared at his outline. Fucking asshole. I should have figured that it was his way to pull a little prank on me. I couldn't believe that he had done something like that. Actually I could believe that he had done something like that. I was shocked that he hadn't done something like that earlier. It was so in his nature to scare the shit out of me.

"Eric! You scared the hell out of me! What's wrong with you?" I snarled.

"I just wanted to give you a little surprise."

"I hate surprises."

Eric merely laughed as he pressed me back against the wall again. He had let me move a little bit but he still had me stuck in my spot. I wanted to slap him more than anything else. But I wouldn't. No matter how much I wanted to. I let him tilt back my head and kiss me. His tongue dipped into my mouth and I smiled into the kiss. My hands traveled over his back and I bunched up the bottom of the material of his shirt.

He grabbed my thighs and I smirked, knowing that he had been waiting for this all day. I had been waiting for this all day too. I had really wanted it when we were in the sim room and now I could finally get it. Just when I thought that he was going to let me go he grabbed my thighs and lifted me up. I let out a little yell as he tossed me over his shoulder, keeping a steely grip on my legs.

"Eric!" I yelled, trying to thrash around.

He merely laughed at me. I knew that I wasn't strong enough to get away from him but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to try. He walked us over to the bed and shrieked as he let go of me slightly. I nearly went crashing face first into the ground before Eric tightened his grip on me once more. I knew that it was his warning to stay still. And I did.

He walked to the edge of the bed before tossing me over his shoulder and letting me flop to the bed. I grunted as I bounced a few times. That had actually hurt a little more than I had thought that it would. He climbed over the top of me and I blushed softly. For some reason I wasn't expecting him to look quite as intense as he did.

"I won't hurt you," he said and I smiled.

I knew that he was saying it because of earlier. "I know you won't," I whispered.

"But I will torture you."

And I didn't bother to think into that. I knew what he meant. And I wanted it. I laughed loudly as he reached for my shirt. He gave me no chance to protest as he lifted the shirt from my shoulders and pulled it free from my body. It went floating to the floor and I laughed softly again. Our lips met in another heated kiss as he reached for the button on my pants. I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my hips up to meet his. He was wasting no time tonight.

I went to reach for his shirt but hissed in pain when he slapped my hand away. It was his own way of telling me that he was in charge tonight. His hands were bruising against my hips and I groaned into his mouth. I was going to have fun explaining those to Heather. He traced kisses down my body and it wasn't long before my pants came off, followed by my bra and underwear. Eric hadn't lied. He did torture me. And he was damned good at it.

A/N: Here's another fully edited chapter. We're getting close to the end! Let me know what you think! Until next time -A

MetallicMedallion: Lol sorry about my bad timing! Thanks! I'm glad that you liked the chapter. Yeah college is a pain. Classwork is kicking my ass and a fellow classmate hit my fucking car. But so goes life I suppose. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

kellymnolan: Thanks so much! Hunger Games are great and Divergent is alright but changes made to it makes it wonderful! I wish you luck with your story :)

mmelody6: Here's hoping that you're continuing to enjoy the story!

lovespirit: Thanks so much! Sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual. Many things are continuing to go wrong. But that's my problem! Not yours. They will eventually get to giving each other tattoos. I'm just not quite sure when yet. I think I'm going to have about another six chapters in the story. Oh that's coming ;) Thank you!

theoriginalsrizzlesouat1D: Wow I'm so happy that you like the story so much! Oh my gosh that's so funny and it means the world to me! I hope you continue to enjoy :)

Talia: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the planning between Alex and Four. The song is one of my favorite lullabies. I'm glad that you liked it!

Neko-fire demon tempest: Thanks, I'm glad that you liked the chapter! I'm sorry that the chapters are a bit long for you. I know that they're very long but that's just the way that I write. I wish I could tell you but of course I have to leave you hanging! Sorry about that. It won't really follow the Divergent story line but I will eventually add the characters from Divergent. Like Tris and Christina. But Alex will always be the main character. I hope you continue to like the story!