Emma's Pov

I was happily reading my favorite book, "Looking For Alaska" in a beautiful Saturday morning. I mean who isn't a fan of John Green right?

Three weeks ago there was good news for me and Will. Well actually good news for the whole family.

I'm pregnant. For 6 weeks now that is. And all of us are very, very excited for it.

"Mom!" Matty called out. "Dad's downstairs. He says he wants to talk to you."

"Of course he does." I mutter underneath my breath. "Thanks Matt. I'll be down in a while." The little boy goes to his room. He wasn't so little now wasn't he.

I slowly got up and went downstairs.

"Will!" I call out as I see him. "Wha-what's with the suitcases?" I wonder.

"Okay so this isn't very ideal but Emma, I want us to move in together again." He tells me. "I mean you're pregnant and I really need to take care of you. You know I'd do anything for you right?" He asks me.

"Of course I want you to move in with me. But why here? Why not in our former apartment?" I ask him confused. I know he really loves that house.

"Well I thought of that, but you know what Emma, I think we should start our new life somewhere away that house. There are too many things that happened there that weren't good for our relationship." He tells me.

"Well I guess you are right. Maybe we should start anew. But you love that house Will." I tell him.

"I love you more Emma. And it sickens me every day because when I see that house I remember the horrible mistakes I have made. Horrible mistakes that hurt you. And Emma you know I don't want you hurt." He says.

I sit on his lap. Why do you have to be so sweet Will.

"Plus Emma we can't change the past and one way or another you would remember what I did to you in the past when you sleep on the bed we shared for so long." He says.

"You're right. This house would be good for us. You're amazing do you know that?" I ask him.

"I'm not as amazing as you think. You'd be surprised at all the dumb decisions I make." He says.

"But you always seem to make everything right. Even if they seem to be hopeless, everything seems right when you're next to me." I tell him.

"Emma when this little girl or boy finally comes out and we finally get married again it's going to get better." He says. Pinching my nose.

"Even without all those everything would still be pretty amazing, I mean we have these two amazing children. And I have you." Now and forever this time.

"I have you too. And that's more than I could ever dream of having." He says. I giggle and put my arms around his neck and hug him.

"I love hanging out with you and everything but luggage don't unpack themselves. Oh wait, I still have to fix my closet, there won't be enough space if it remains the way it is now." I tell Will. Yeah I had OCD but sometimes I just toss my clothes inside when I'm really, really tired.

"Em you don't have to. I can just put my things in the guest bedroom." He says warmly, as if he would accept anything I gave to him.

"Of course not Will! You're my fiancé, I love you and I want this. You don't know how much joy I will feel when I open the closet and see your clothes right beside mine."

"Well then I'd help you clean up cause I can't take seeing my pregnant wife doing work all by herself. She has to be relaxing." He says in a child like tone.

"You do have a point. I was just reading my book happily, and then you came-"

"You didn't want me to come?" Will asks me looking like a little boy who was about to sob. Jokingly of course.

"I'm not yet done Will. I was just reading my book happily, and then you came and made me happier than any book can make me."

"You're the sweetest jellybean."

"Jellybean?" I ask him. Where did that come from?

"You don't like it? It just slipped out, I- if you don't like it then I won't call you that again." He says plainly.

"No, no. I like it Will. I love it actually. I was just wondering why jellybean?"

"Well I really don't know Em."

"Okay, let's go fix your things." I tell him. He smiles at me and he carries one of his huge bags up. Seeing that there was another one, I went out to get it. I was halfway through one step when Will turned back and panicked.

"Whoa, Whoa, Emma, I will not allow you to carry my luggage or anybody else's luggage. First of all you're pregnant, six weeks in fact. Second, even if you weren't pregnant I still won't allow you to carry anything heavy. You're my princess Em." He tells me.

"I feel so useless then." I tell him.

"Don't you ever think that Emma. Without you I couldn't even lift a pen. You give me strength Jellybean." He says.

"You know sometimes you are so adorable. Other times you are so cheesy." I tell him rolling my eyes. I go upstairs and he goes back to the luggage he was carrying halfway through the stairs.

I sit on the bed and he arrives with the first luggage. "I'll be right back." He tells me.

I sit there and just look at everything around me, the life I had months ago were gone. I was finally here with the man I love and would grow old with, happily pregnant.

Will comes back up. "You know what, I think we should go to the former apartment first. I mean I left some sentimental things that I think we don't want to let go just yet." He says smirking.

"But what about this." I gesture to the luggage.

"We have the whole weekend Emma. We could fix that later." That is a great idea.

"I'll just check on Matty and Lucy." I go to Matt's room and I see him sleeping next to Lucy. He appeared to be taking care of her and they both fell asleep along the way. What now?

Quinn isn't around, she spent the week off. Her and Puck are going to some resort three towns away for the weekend. Just six weeks after Will's birthday they became a lot closer, a happy couple like they had used to be.

I smiled at the thought. Quinn finally found someone who loved her as much as she loved him.

But my problem still wasn't solved. Who in the world would take care of the kids while Will and I went. That was when I remembered the babysitter next door.

We talked a bunch of times. When I was out in the garden or when she would call me to ask for something. She's a really good girl and I could in fact trust her with the kids.

So I went outside and called for her. She quickly came out of the house smiling that huge smile.

"Hey Aria," I greet. "Would you mind coming over and uhm- look after Lucy and Matt? I'd be back in an hour or two." I tell her.

"Of course Emma."

"So how much do you sit again?" I ask her.

"Oh no need. I really love spending time with the kids and I have nothing to do so it's okay." She tells me.

"They're actually sleeping so you better get something entertaining." I tell her. "Or you could watch tv in our living room, just please look out for them?" I ask her. She's been to the house a bunch of times already. She usually has dinner with us when she does.

She comes out of her fence and makes her way to the house.

"Thank you so much Aria."

"Wait, there's another car on the driveway, your guest?" she asks me.

"My fiancé actually, Matt and Lucy's father. We're going to our former apartment to get some stuff that we left. He's finally moving in!" I tell her excitedly.

"Cool!" she says. "Have fun Emma." Surely will.

"Will!" I call out. "Come one sunshine, we really have to get going now." I call out. He comes jogging out and I say goodbye to Aria and once again thank her.

"Sunshine?" he asks. I nod. "I like it." He says. "But why sunshine?"

"I don't know it just kind of suits you and plus it just slipped out too." I tell him

"Well then let's go?" he asks.

"Gladly." I say taking his hand as he lead me to his car.

We get to the apartment and it's been so long since I've been here. Will was always the one who picked me up at home or I would go to Mckinley to see him.

We went inside the house hand-in-hand. I think the last time I was here was the day mom and dad flew in from Virginia. Will took my hand and the house looked like it was formerly. Before we were divorced.

I went to the fireplace. There were pictures of me and him together, pictures of the kids, pictures of all four of us, Lucy, Matt, me, our wedding picture.

He smiles as he sees my reaction.

"You put them up again." I say sweetly.

"Of course, you're my family. And every morning I wake up I see you and our beautiful family. Our wedding. Everything and I know that my life is worth living. Cause I have the three of you…. I mean four." He says caressing my tummy.

"I think I want to keep the pictures." I say.

"There are more in the bedroom Em, we'll grab those later." He smirks and grabs my hand leading me up to the bedrrom we used to share.

I open the door and what I see surprises me.

There was a huge bulletin board at one wall. Not occupying the whole wall.

It's filled with pictures. Emma and Matty, Emma and Lucy, Emma and both the kids, me and Will, Emma alone, Emma in the park, Emma sleeping, Emma cooking, Emma, Emma, Emma, Emma.

"Will." I say heading over to it. I remember that one, it was in the park where Will took a photo of me in the new camera I gave him.

"I remember this. It's the first picture you took six weeks ago." I tell him pointing to it. "And this was when we went to New York." I say pointing to another photo. He smiles at me.

"It's beautiful isn't it:" Will asks me. "Look at the photos Em, most of them are candid and yet you still look as beautiful as ever." I hate it when I bush but apparently Will always finds a way to make me.

"I don't look as beautiful as you think Will. It's just you who thinks so." I tell him. He rolls his eyes at me.

"I doubt that Em. And we are so brining this home." He says detaching the bulletin board of the wall and putting it on the bed.

"Okay." I answer back. I open the closet but there was nothing inside anymore.

"It's all in the suitcases." He says laughing.

"What's so funny sunshine?"

"Nothing." He smirks,

We both lounge around the couch, my legs on Will's lap. "Beautiful" he says caressing my thigh.

He kisses me and I respond to him. He pulls away shortly after though.

"I'll miss this house and all the amazing memories we had here in the past. I mean this was where I fell in love with you, really fell in love with you." Will tells me.

"But you said that about my former office."

"I knew you there as the professional Emma there but here you were the laid down beautiful girl that only I know about." He tells me.

"Maybe I'll know more about you in our new house." I tell him. "And we'd finally be on each other's backs no matter what happens."

We go home thirty minutes later, picture frames and sentimental things in tow. I was happy to hear Matty, Lucy and Aria singing some new song Will and I don't know about.

"Daddy!" the two shriek when they see him approaching. They hug him tightly and Lucy climbs her father until he finally picks her up and carry her.

"Only him?" I ask. "I'm getting jealous." I pout jokingly.

"Mom, we always see you." Lucy says. "Dad doesn't sleep here, you do and I could just hug you whenever I want to." She adds.

I smirk. It's time for them to know.

"Well I think we should change that shouldn't we?" I ask them. I look at Will and he smiles and nods, meaning I could have the privilege to tell them. "Your dad's things are in the bedroom. I have to share a bedroom with him now." I say.

Matt gasps happily.

"Why are you so happy about that?" Lucy asks her brother. Matt whispers something to Lucy and the little gurl gasps happily too.

"Is it true mom? Is daddy really living with us now?" Lucy jumps up and down.

"I wouldn't lie to you would I?' I ask them.

"Excuse me, Emma, I really need to go now. I have to finish a painting." Aria says.

"Again thank you so much Aria. I can't thank you enough for sitting the kids."

"You really don't have to, I had an amazing time." She says and she walks out of the door.

"Again your dad is staying here so?" I ask them.

"I'm so happy this is happening!" Lucy shouts.

"Me too Lucy." I tell her.

Dinner had past and we had just brought the kids to sleep. Will has work tomorrow and the kids have school as well. Once again I was going to be alone in my house. Which wasn't a very fun thing.

"Em." Will says as I lie next to him. It's the first time we slept in this room as Will moved in. And I have to admit it is so much better than sleeping alone at night.

"What?" I ask.

"I know why jellybean now. I know why I call you jellybean."

"Why Will? Please tell me."

"Cause, like jellybeans you have lots of flavors, and all of them are all so wonderful. You have all these talents and personalities and, everyone of them are amazing. You're amazing Emma."

"And I know why you're sunshine too Will." I pause. "I mean every single time you come everything gets better. Even if it's the worst day ever, even if everything goes wrong you make it better like sunshine." I tell him. "And I love you so, so much Will."

"I love you so much Will. And I'm so happy that you finally moved in with me." I tell him.

"I'm so happy that I'm finally here. And I'm so happy that in a matter of months we'll have another little boy or girl. I can't explain to you how happy I am Emma." Will says in an excited tone.

"Goodnight Will, mommy Emma and little baby needs to sleep." I tell him in a joking way.

"Goodnight Emma." He answers back.

Best day ever isn't it?

I kissed Will's cheek.

"Don't worry Emma everything will be amazing. We're going to have a healthy baby, don't worry Em." Will tells me.

"I'm still scared Will, what if you don't want another boy and it is a boy?" I was starting to panic. I know, I still have those little quirks.

"Whatever, gender our baby is its okay. I love it and I love you."

Will and I head our way to the inside of the clinic. The doctor already called us and I was still panicking.

"Everything would be okay jellybean. Everything will be okay."

I lay down in one of the medical chairs that were way too complicated for me to understand. The doctor started to greet us and do the same procedure as she had done on our first meeting.

"So, morning sickness is gone?" Dr. Wu asks me.

"Uhm, there are still some morning sickness sometimes." I tell him. He was getting quite worried. I looked at Will with a worried look and he just nodded warmly saying it's okay.

"Emma we have to look at something okay? Morning sickness isn't normal since you're on your second month." He tells me. Now what? Oh no, oh no, oh no.

I squeezed Will's hand and he squeezed it back reassuringly.

The doctor went and did some things I did not understand at all and Will looked worried as well.

"Emma? Have you engaged in strenuous activities this past week?" I thought. Oh my God. What in the world was happening? Oh God I did. I did.

"I yes, some but not much I" I tell him almost close to tears. I got pregnant three times now and never did this happen to me once.

"Emma, it's okay baby, don't cry." Will says rubbing my back. "Everything's going to be alright."

"I'm so sorry to tell you this Emma. I know it's going to be hard at first but, you miscarried."

Miscarried. You Miscarried. Emma Pillsbury, you just lost your child. A child that you and Will love.

Tears were streaming down my face, Will was still in shock right next to me. Tears falling as well but slower than mine.

This could not be happening. I cannot have miscarried a child. I loved him or her. It's unbelievable but I did and I still do.

"What?!" I manage to say out. "This cannot be happening I" Sobs.

"Emma." Will managed to say out.

"I think we should just go home now." I tell the doctor and Will. I stand up and run outside.

This can't be okay. No, this isn't okay.

Will comes behind me.

"Emma, I know you're upset about this."

"UPSET?!" I shout at him when we get to the parking lot. "I'm not upset. I'm mad at myself! It's all my fault, I'm the reason why you were crying a while ago. I'm the reason why I miscarried. If I had been more careful then we would be so happy now Will, but instead of being happy look, LOOK AT US WILL!" I shout.

"Let's go home Em." He tells me.

"How are you so calm about this?!" I ask.

"I'm sad about this too Will. I'm sad because we loved the kid that was growing on your stomach. We loved the kid so much that it was so hard to see him or her go. But I want to stay strong. I want to be strong for you Emma. I'm going to be strong for you and the kids because that's what a father is."

"Let's just go home." I say getting into the car, tears still streaming down my face.

Line here.

I kiss Will as soon as he enters the room. I take his shirt off even faster than I had kissed him.

"Make love to me Will." I say.

"Emma, not today. I love you but you're too vulnerable." He tells me.

"Will please." I plead.

And he kisses me back, finally.

Goodbye Will. I don't know if this is forever but I need to leave. I love you so, so much but I can't face you after what I did. I can't face you after depriving you of becoming a father to our supposed to be child. I know you'd hate me for doing this. I promised you that I would never leave you again but this is for your own good. I don't like seeing you hurt, and us losing our child hurt you so much. I know you hate me Will, even if you made love to me I know you hate me for what happened. Leave me now please? I don't want to hurt you anymore. Can you please just let go of me? I can't stand you getting hurt and I just did. I always hurt you.

My things were set right after Will fell asleep. The tears were still flowing. I know I've been crying for so long now, ever since Will fell asleep I was packing my things and crying. Why did this have to happen to me? Of all people why me?

I take my ring off. I put it next to the note I'm going to give to Will.

I take my car and drive to the only place I ever felt safe. Virginia. I cry of course. I turn on sad music and cry. That's the only thing my life consists of anyway right?