Chapter 21
He wanted to leave that night, just desperate for space. The woman in his heart was rocking it so blithely he could take no more. But Tanyuu threatened to "throw him in the dungeon under the library" herself if he tried to leave while injured." He knew better than defying her, so grudgingly acquiesced. Still, a proper lodging and meals were a plus. He knew he was in for a long night of dreams showing him the lives of more tokoyami victims.
As anticipated, more memories poured into his dream. Afterward his consciousness is confronted by the figure wearing his own skin, demanding to know his purpose. Only this time he says 「俺の目的は何だ？」"what is my purpose?" "So he thinks he's me, does he?" Ginko the consciousness thinks. A deep anger wells up within him and this time he can answer definitely. 「俺の目的だと？洒落た口ききやがって！貴様にこれ以上犠牲が出ないように打ちのめしてやる事さ！」"my purpose? The hell you ask! I'm gonna make damn sure you die so no one else gets sacrificed! That's what!" The consciousness took a corporeal shape and takes a swing at the figure. He definitely hit him but it disintegrated into a mist. 「畜生！」"Damn!" he curses in rage. He beat the boulder on which it sat until his fists bleed.
He stood there staring at his bloody hand. A wild thought occurred to him. "What if he is not tokoyami? But my own desire for a purpose?" The irony made him laugh.
His consciousness returned. 「ああ、やっと見つけた」"I've found it. At long last" he whispered to himself before he opened his eye. If he died helping Tanyuu, so be it. 「へへっ。やに感傷的じゃねえか」"haha. Now isn't THAT romantic?" he said out loud to himself. The clarity of the moment seemed to bring some kind of peace.
While Ginko was immersed in a sense of peace a memory of a wild creature surfaced. Dawn was cracking. Ginko thought it was a juvenile hawk. It remembered a morning like this. His mind rode on it and next moment he and the bird were one.
It had been practicing flight. Its skills were improving. Its young wings extended, lifting it into the air. They flapped to gain altitude and reached a point where it could stabilize. The air above the wings seemed to flow faster than below. It found it could maneuver by changing the wings' orientation. For a moment it is mesmerized in the exhilaration of soaring. The blue of the sky was so deep it absorbed its soul. For the first time in its life it tasted the essence of its creation, its joy of flight taking Ginko into an ecstasy as never before. It was an ecstasy of fulfilling its purpose.
The moment passed and it landed. Ginko allowed his mind to float off the bird. He moved to engawa facing east. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply, and stretched back down lingering in deep relaxation.
He may have dozed off again, since he seemed to awaken again. He vaguely thought he was dreaming when he saw Tanyuu's face upside down. With his guard down wearing his crooked smile he reached for her face and drew it closer.「何をする…！」"What is the….!" she yelped. He was jerked back to full consciousness. She slapped him in the cheek lightly and scolded 「寝ぼけておるか？目を覚ませ」"still dreaming? Wake up!" Then she demanded 「何所に行っておったか？」"where have you been?" like a wife catching her husband sneaking in early in the morning.「何所って….？何の事だよ？一晩中たったここで寝てたぞ」"where? How can you say that? I have been here all night!" yelled Ginko as he skittered backward into a semi-sitting position while pulling his robe closer together. Tanyuu answered 「お前の夢の中でだよ。目を半分開けてひっくり返っていたもの」"I mean in your dreams. You seemed to be somewhere else with your eye half open." Ginko understood her then. Her mind was where it was the day she cornered him about his dreams. His surprise gave way to a desire to wrap himself around her in reassurance. He sat still, but his mind was reaching out to her. But Tama's ever watchful eyes were never far, and he did not dare. So he patted her head as if she were a child and told her 「鳶になって空高く飛んでた」"soaring high in the air as a hawk," which happened to be true. Then he diverted the flow of event asking her 「何か用か？」"what's up?"
With that question Tanyuu recomposed herself, still looking a bit embarrassed. 「うん謎解けた、と思う」"yes. I think I figured it out." 「謎解けた？どの？」"figured out what?" returned Ginko, getting up but still listening. 「丸の印の模様の事」"the symbols" she answered, grabbing the pile of drawings. Ginko sat back down on the spot, paying full attention. Tanyuu started. 「まず、頭の中で縦横の線を描いて中心から四等分にする。その次に十四番とその隣の印を比べてみると、左上の四分の一がほとんど同一なのが解るか？」"First you mentally draw lines, horizontal and vertical, splitting them into quarters. Now compare number fourteen and this one, second adjacent to it. Do you see that they look nearly identical in the left upper quadrant?" Ginko stared at them and nodded. 「その要領でまた十四番とこちらのこれと比べてみると」"likewise, compare fourteen and this one over here," she pointed moving her finger horizontally on the paper showing relative positions of all the marks. 「同じ事。十五番とその下のこれを比べると、右上の四分の一が同じように同一、ということ」"you can see the same going on here. Now look at fifteen and this one below it. Their upper right quadrants are almost the same, too." 「ほう、そうだなあ」"so they are" Ginko squinted and said 「というと、位置表示ってわけか？緯度と経度のように？」"so they indicate positions, like longitude and latitude?" 「そうだと思う」"that's what I think" replied Tanyuu. He thought she should be smiling but she look grim. He waited. She continued. 「それからな、昨夜気がついたんだが、中の六角形が凸凹になってるんだ」"additionally,….I noticed last night that the hexagons in the middle are bumpy." 「前と違うのか？」"'z that different than before?" Ginko inquired.
「うん、いつも凸凹はなかった。だから、日の光で直接観てみたいと思ってここにきたら、お前が死人のようにひっくりかえっていたものだから…..」"yes. The mark has always been smooth. So I wanted to look at it under direct sunlight, so I came here. Then I found you looking dead, so….." she said, now blushing slightly.
「ふんん…..何で俺は見えなかったんだろう？」"hmm. I wonder why I didn't see anything?" Ginko wondered out loud. Tanyuu giggled. 「多分奥行きの感覚が無いからよ」"probably because you don't have depth perception" she opined. He harrumphed.
Using early morning light proved insufficient, and this was a task Ginko could obviously not help. Tanyuu had no choice but to recruit Tama's help. Tama listened to what Tanyuu had to say and began to study her leg. Then she moved her head backward slightly, squinting. Every second after that she would move her head this way and that, eventually holding Tanyuu's leg all the way out with her arms and squinting hard before she announced she could not hold it far enough and big enough to see. Ginko was trying to hold his smirk, but she caught him. 「この年になったら口きいてみんさい」"just you wait till you hit my age!" she spit out spitefully. 「その前に骨壺にはいるつもりですわ」"I hope to be an urn-ful of ashes by then" sassed Ginko, eliciting a testy 「黙らんかったらもっと早く詰めたるぞ」"if you don't shut'cher mouth you'll get there much sooner." Tanyuu scowled and told them both to drop it. Ginko was mumbling 「お骨？灰？灰…..か？そっか、ありかもな」"ashes? ashes, you say? …..that might work." He stood up and quickly returned with a cupful of ashes from the irori and a piece of paper. 「へっへ…奥行き見えんでもこうすりゃどうにかなるだろ」"hehe…..I may have no depth perception, but I can do this" he whispered as he smudged the as he smudged ashes on a hexagon on Tanyuu's ankle. He intended all this while to smirk at the end, but instead he let a cigar drop.
「まさか…ありかよ？」"no way….it couldn't be" he uttered. He stood up again to fetch another piece of paper as he told Tanyuu and Tama to wait right there. Tama picked up the smudged paper, her eyes widened, and handed it to Tanyuu. Tanyuu look one look at it and gasped. Ginko returned and repeated the smudging on another hexagon, grimaced, then another, then another, totaling five of them. And they all resembled human figures in various poses, except one was that of a face in an expression of pain. Three of them sat all breaking out in cold sweat. Tama uttered in very low voice 「何の祟りであろうか？」"what evil omen is this?"
「見に行くしかねえじゃねえか」"only one way to find out. I'm going to have a look at it" Ginko announced as he got up. Tanyuu told him to wait for her because she wanted to accompany him but he would not hear of it then. He dressed quickly and headed for the genkan. Tama had no objection, but Tanyuu looked on with a worried look. When he was like that even she would not get in his way.