An Endless Love
Reflections
When the sun finally fell at the end of the day in summer, Erik quietly let himself out of the lodgings he shared with Portia, who was still sleeping peacefully. Portia typically slept long past sunset, preferring to hunt for her prey late in the night when they were more likely to be tired. Erik, however, found the confinement frustrating; he had been locked in confined spaces for too much of his life. He descended the stairs with preternatural silence and deeply breathed in the night air.
Erik continued down the street, walking quickly to a restaurant on the other side of town. He seated himself at a table in the back corner and attempted to wait patiently. His fingers drummed softly on the table.
"I see you are early."
Erik looked up, and was immediately on his feet, holding a chair out to Anastasia. He sat down in his seat again and tried to smile to hide his anxiety. Fingers quivering, Erik drew a deep breath and clasped his hands under the table to still their shaking. When his hands had finally stopped shaking, he returned them to the table.
"Erik, try to calm down; you're making me nervous," Anastasia said gently as she rested her hand on Erik's. It took all of Erik's control not to pull his hands away.
"My apologies, Anastasia. I have never been very good in this kind of setting," he said, gesturing about the restaurant with one of his hands. "I am not one who can easily converse with others."
She gave Erik a sad smile. "Sometimes these things just take time." Anastasia placed her hands in her lap as Erik placed their order with the waiter. "Now dear, shall we get the awkward topic out of the way so we can enjoy our dinner?" She smiled brightly and reassuringly at him.
Hours later, Erik returned to the lodgings, feeling more human tonight than he had his entire life. He had learnt so much from Ana. Not just about what he was and his kind, but also about people. In Ana, he had found his equal; theirs was a meeting of minds.
"Did you bring anything back for me?" Portia crooned the moment Erik stepped through the door.
Shaking his head no, Erik removed his coat and gloves taking his time as he folded them neatly over the back of a chair.
"Well, since you were not a gentleman and failed to bring dinner home, I am going out. Would you care to join me?" she asked with sickly sweetness as she crossed the room. Halfway across the room, she inhaled, paused and frowned at Erik, her eyes flashing red. "You have been with another vampire! Who is she?"
Erik stepped away from Portia and collected his coat again, wanting to get away from her. He had been in Portia's company long enough to know when she was in a foul temper. This was one of those times. He was not in the mood to deal with another one of her fits.
After he had dined with Anastasia, the two vampires had gone out and Ana had commenced Erik's lessons. It had taken only a moment for Erik to understand what was expected, and for the first time since he had been turned, he was considering the human's pleasure and survival as much as his own while he fed. The high that he felt after feeding Ana's way lasted so much longer than the euphoria he felt with feeding with Portia.
Portia stepped closer to Erik and looked closely at the aura surrounding Erik that only vampires could see. "A Georgian, Erik? She is scarcely older than you!"
"She was sired in 1805, Portia," he responded, attempting to regain his calm.
"And when you live for eternity, eighty years difference is insignificant. And what is this?" she asked herself as she smelled the air around Erik, her nose turning up in disgust. "You are weak. You are soft! Oh, my baby, what has she done to you?"
Portia closed her eyes and concentrated on the invisible bond that joined her to Erik. She was thankful – not for the first time – that she had taken his blood, thus strengthening their connection. She found it difficult to know what he was thinking; she often had been forced to enter his mind to find out what precisely what was going on behind his calm façade!
"She has shown you how to take blood without pain!" Portia cried in horror. "You do not believe the lies this child has told you, do you, Erik? She has no idea of the natural order of things! It is our right to take blood from humans. The more they struggle the better it is. We are masters, Erik."
Erik shook his head as he pulled on his coat. "No, Portia; we are monsters. I am tired of being a monster," he said, defeated. "I may not be able to regain my mortality, but I would like to find my humanity again. Anastasia has taught me a great deal tonight…and left me with even more to think about. More than you ever have."
Portia crossed her arms over her breasts and glared at Erik. "How dare you question my abilities as a sire! For fifty years, you have followed me around the globe like a little puppy, learning everything from me. You think you can adopt this vampire as your new sire without question?"
"You are appalling as a teacher, Portia!" Erik shouted, finally losing patience. She had insulted Anastasia one too many times. There was no way he would allow Portia to say another word against the woman he now thought of as his sire. "You are a heartless witch who takes pleasure in seeing young men struggle for their last breath. You love to watch the blood bubble at their lips and then lick their face clean. For God's-" Erik paused as he and Portia both winced - "Sake, you kiss them after they are dead!" he finished softly with a shudder of disgust. "I hate what I am, but I hate what you are even more! I've had enough!"
"So that is it? You are leaving me for this…this…upstart?"
Erik did not deign to respond.
"If you dare walk out that door, Erik, I will never forgive you. I am your sire and as such you owe me your loyalty."
"No. Ana is my sire," he responded flatly as he headed for the front door.
"I will never forgive you, Erik!" Portia screeched as the door slammed shut.
"Please."
Erik looked again at Kristina and then quickly glanced away from her pleading blue eyes. "I will not have you traipsing around London at all hours of the morning."
Kristina looked at him, unable to understand why he was making such a deal out of her request. She pressed her lips together to stop herself from pointing out that she 'traipsed' around London with him in the early hours of every morning.
"Please, Erik? It's Marina's birthday and most of the company is going out after the show tomorrow to celebrate. I'd like to go with them."
"No! It's too dangerous."
Her lip curling up in frustration, Kristina left Erik at the piano and huffed downstairs to the kitchen. It was as if she was reliving that time with Roy when she had to skip lessons to have a social life. That was a time in her life that she had hoped never to relive. She braced herself on the sink and took a calming breath.
"Does it mean that much to you?" Erik asked from behind as he softly as he placed his hands on her hips. When she did not move away, his hands travelled to her waist and pulled her hard against his body. Sensing her nod against his shoulder, Erik pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Then go and have a good time. Just promise me that you will never allow yourself to be separated from your friends."
Smiling beatifically, Kristina twisted in Erik's arms and kissed him. "I promise I won't be alone for one minute," she said breathily before deepening the kiss.
Erik smiled against her lips as he lifted her onto the bench, his hands tenderly cupping her face as he continued to kiss her. He scratched her lip with his fangs and sipped at the thin trail of blood.
"I promise I won't be out late," she said between moans. "I'll try and make it back in time for the second half of our lesson."
Erik would never allow her to sing once he learnt she had consumed a couple of cocktails since the show had finished some three hours ago. She wasn't even certain she would be in a fit state to sing with all the alcohol in her system making her a little tipsy! It had been so long since she had been able to completely relax and enjoy herself. She shrugged away her guilt and redirected her attention to the group.
"Where did you get the idea to add that change to the end of the first act?" Marina asked Anthony, tilting her head, which rested on his shoulder, and shooting him a proud smile.
"The A-Man," Anthony said, referring to Alex. "We were talking the other day and something he said just gave me the idea." He grinned at Alex and raised his glass to the other man in a silent salute. "It seemed to work well; I think I'll keep it. The audience seemed to like it!"
Surprised at his lack of response, Kristina glanced at Alex only to find that a tall blonde with cornflower blue eyes was holding his attention. Something about the woman was vaguely familiar, but too much alcohol and not enough sleep prevented Kristina from solving the puzzle. The woman sat at the bar, sipping red wine, watching the table with a great deal of interest.
Kristina smiled to herself. Alex was beyond handsome with dark hair and eyes, and a body just as appealing. Everywhere he went women's eyes followed him. She fully approved of this woman's taste in men. When Alex flagged a waiter and ordered champagne for the blonde, Kristina could not help but laugh. He was such a flirt!
The blonde accepted the champagne from the waiter. She gave Alex a smile and a heated look from across the room before she wandered over to the table and seated herself between Alex and Kristina. She gave Alex another beautiful smile that stopped his heart for a moment before she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you for the champagne. I'm Elizabeth." She held out her hand and laughed softly when Alex kissed her hand. She looked down her nose at Kristina before she turned her back on her.
Kristina shook her head at Alex's flirtatiousness and sipped at her cocktail. After this drink she would go home, she promised herself. Despite the fact that she had decided not to have her lesson with Erik, Kristina could not resist seeing him before she went to bed. She shared a cab with an ensemble member to Green Park and journeyed the rest of the way on her own.
"I thought I sensed you. I would have thought you would be in bed long ago," Erik said with a soft smile as he greeted her at the front door. His smile turned to a frown. "Why did you come here by yourself? I thought I told you not to be alone."
"I was only alone for a few minutes," she assured him, taking his hand in hers. She gave his cheek a quick kiss, hoping to distract him. "I wanted to spend a bit of time with you before I went home."
Erik nodded and wrapped Kristina in his arms. He pulled away from her and looked at her in horror, his fingers closing around her upper arms.
"What is it?" she asked nervously, tilting her head back to look up at him. He knew that she would be drinking tonight. Maybe he could smell the alcohol on her breath and skin, and found it nauseating. Maybe he had changed his mind about having a music lesson; surely he did not expect her to sing at three in the morning!
"I can sense Portia on your skin."
Kristina froze, consumed by fear. Her fingers clenched Erik's arms tightly, digging into his skin. "Portia? She was there tonight?" Tears fell down her cheeks. "She's coming to get me, isn't she? She's never going to give up."
Erik pulled her hard against his body and stroked her hair with shaking hands. "It's okay. I won't let her get you. I swear to you, Kristina, I will fight so hard to ensure you are free from her."
The pretty brunette screamed when she saw her lover, gasping for air, a red noose around his throat and reached out to him.
"Christine, forgive me! I fought so hard to free you."
Another man – clinging to the train of her dress – prevented any progress she would have made. She turned to look at him, and even though she could not make out his face, she knew the right side of his face would be marred. He screamed angrily at her and threw her to the floor.
Her terror escalated as the man loomed over her and shouted. He was screaming at her ordering her to 'make her choice.' Hindered by the white silk and lace wedding dress, she struggled to her knees and looked between the two men, trying to decide what to do. Could she choose between them? And whom should she choose? Music or love?
As she and her lover rowed away from the deformed man, she knew she had made the wrong choice. She should have chosen music. Her life would never be complete with him and his music.
Kristina sat up in her bed, screaming. Semi-conscious, she sat limply in her mother's arms as she continued to scream.
The next day after school, Kristina slowly made her way to the library for the extra study her parents insisted she do. As she walked past the music rooms, she stopped and listened. A smile of delight lit her face when she heard the one of the school's choirs having its weekly rehearsal. Spurred on by an unknown force, she pushed open the door, slipped inside and looked at the music over a soprano's shoulder. Despite having never heard the song before, she was able to sing with the rest of the choir.
She drew a breath as she reached for a high note, knowing that she had come home at last. She belonged with music. Without him, she would only live half a life.
The dreams never occurred again.
"If you have everything, I thought I would take you home," Erik said as he escorted Kristina out from the music room.
"Actually, Erik, I was hoping that Eleanor would take me tonight."
Eleanor looked up from her task of sorting the mail to look first at Erik and then at Kristina in shock. She remained silent, allowing the pair to sort out who Kristina's escort would be by themselves.
"Why?" Erik asked sharply.
"I need a female's advice," Kristina lied, already anticipating his reaction. "I thought who better to ask than a woman who has been around for seventy years."
"Erik," Eleanor gasped. She had never said anything to Kristina about being a vampire. In fact, she thought that she was doing a good job hiding her secret.
He shook his head. "She figured it out herself. Very well," he said, turning his attention back to Kristina. "Eleanor will take you tonight." He ran his fingers through her hair and then gently grabbed her by the arms, stepped in close and kissed her on her cheek, near her ear, his lips lingering for a few seconds.
"Look after her," he warned Eleanor as she and Kristina stepped out the door.
He watched them leave from the window in the music room, wondering what Kristina was up to.
"I suppose you would rather walk than drive. Am I right?" Eleanor asked as she walked past Erik's car.
Kristina merely nodded.
Eleanor shook her head. Whatever she wanted to talk to her about was clearly serious and it would take Kristina a while to summon the courage to bring up the topic. It was going to be a long a walk.
The two women walked in silence for a minute before Eleanor turned to Kristina with a dark frown. She was tired of the silence. "I do not believe for a moment that you need my advice, Kristina. I'm not sure that Erik did either."
Kristina hung her head in shame; she hated lying to Erik. Yet if she told him the truth there was no way he would have allowed her to be in the same room as Eleanor, let alone to have a private conversation with her.
"I want you to tell me about Erik and Portia."
Eleanor kept walking, giving Kristina the occasional suspicious look.
"Please, Eleanor. I would ask Erik but he would refuse to answer. Please, tell me."
"Very well then," she sighed in defeat. "I met Erik and Portia in 1936 – only one year before they parted ways."
"What were they like – as a pair?" She could not say the word 'couple'. She could not bear to imagine Erik and Portia together that way.
"Portia was very wilful; what she wanted, she got. Erik seemed to be smitten with her. He happily allowed her to take control when they fed and-" Eleanor broke off, aware that perhaps, she had said too much. Erik's past with Portia was his own business and Kristina really should have been asking him. She did not want to say anything that could ruin Erik's relationship with Kristina.
"And?" Kristina encouraged. She had a bad feeling that she knew just where Eleanor was going to say.
"And the bedroom. Now, Kristina, you need to understand the relationship that often exists between two vampires who have been with each other for any length of time," she said when she saw Kristina's outraged expression.
Kristina shook off Eleanor's comforting hand. She did not want the other woman's pity. She was not sure that she liked where this was heading, yet she had started this and was determined to find out everything she could.
"Tell me."
"How can I make you understand? Blood and desire are very closely entwined that very often you cannot have one without the other."
Kristina considered Eleanor's words as she recalled her dream when she had been a vampire and the first kiss that she and Erik shared when he accidentally bit her lip.
"Taking blood is a very intimate act for a vampire. With another vampire present, who is also feeding, it very often it leads to-" Eleanor stopped herself before she said anything else. "I will not say any more. If you want to know, you need to ask Erik."
The two continued the rest of the way in silence. Eleanor continued to give Kristina nervous glances as if she was worried she would pass out or drive a stake through her heart. When they reached her flat, Kristina quickly said goodbye and locked the door.
Her legs gave out from under her and she sank to the floor and cried. She could not believe that Erik and Portia had been together. How could he have been with the woman he hated, who did terrible things? Maybe he hadn't always hated her. Maybe their lustful relationship had been something more than a vampiric reaction to blood. She began to sob harder.