No Emotion Involved

I sat down, and Gunther sat beside me. "So-" He began, but I cut him off, raising my pointer finger. "DEUCE, I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING!" I yelled in the general direction of the door. Deuce suddenly appeared, and I rolled my eyes at him

He was nosy like that.

"Leave," I ordered, pointing towards the door. "Fine," He grumbled, walking away. I waited till' I thought he was gone, then I started my rant. I had rehearsed this, actually.

I was just that fucking organized.

"Gunther, look. When I dumped you, it took me about three seconds to realize I shouldn't have. But you should know that I'm a stubborn little bitch, and I sure as fuck wasn't going to be the one to beg you to take me back. So, I waited." And waited, and waited... "But nothing happened. You called once or twice, and I didn't pick up, and that was it from you. I convinced myself that I was nothing to you - if I wasn't you'd've grown a pair and actually tried to talk to me face-to-face. But you didn't even make the effort.

"So, depression took over. I spent at least an hour everyday bawling my fucking eyes out and worrying about the soft pile of fluff that I becoming. The crying became a ritual, actually. Two O'clock was my crying hour. Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm not crazy! Okay, maybe very slightly."

He didn't say anything. He just stared, slack-jawed. And the he started laughing.

He fucking started laughing.

I glared at him. I was pouring my fucking heart out to him, and he had started laughing, and that shit was not ok.

When he finally managed to shut his gob, he said, "CeCe, why the hell would you think I didn't want you anymore?"

"You fucking blanked me for a fucking week!"

When I get mad, I swear.

It's kind of my thing.

He smiled at me softly, and the anger melted away.

Holy fucking shitballs he was gorgeous...

Hold up - I'm meant to be in full bitch mode now.

I crossed my arms and pouted like the child that I was, and he grinned. "CeCe, of course I still love you. I always have, I always will."

I sighed. "Even when I'm really old? Like thirty, and my tits are sagging to my waist and cellulite takes over my ass?" I asked.

Lemme tell ya, I did not want to get old.

He stifled a laugh. "Even then," He promised.

"Then why did you stay away for a millennium when we broke up?"

"I already told you, I'm pretty stubborn too. I wanted you to make the first move, and tell me you wanted me back."

I nodded. I was glad to understand that, at least. "So... are we back together now?"

He thought about it. "You still have to admit you want me back," How could he doubt that I did. I sighed, and said it aloud, "I love you, Gunther. I want to be your girlfriend, and I want to watch sappy movies with you while I cry and you call me a baby, and I want to piss off all our teachers with you with the not-so-subtle innuendos that we keep dropping-" Yeah. My boyfriend's awesome. "-And I want to have mind-blowing sex with you, like, all the time, because, as you and I both know, I'm obsessed with it."

He grinned the biggest most shit-eating grin I've ever seen in my life.

And he looked perfect.

He leaned down to kiss me, and I tangled my fingers in his hair, wanting the kiss to escalate into other things...

Make-up sex, here I come!

Unfortunately, I was cock-blocked by Deuce who came in the front door at that moment and made a big show of gagging. "Guys. I'm pretty sure Rocky still needs that couch," He pointed out, effectively reminding me that we were in Rocky's apartment, and also that the make-up sex would have to wait.

Gah.

Deuce rolled his eyes, "I am never sitting on that couch again. Ever."

Gunther scoffed, "Oh, please. Like you and Rocky haven't fucked on every surface in the house." Every surface? No where was safe anymore.

Deuce grinned. "Multiple times," He confirmed, fist-bumping Gunther. I shook my head.

Boys. I would never understand.

When they started comparing sex positions, I figured that was my limit, and went out to go find Rocky. My mom was gonna totally flip her shit when she found out that I wasn't at home, but hey, shit happens.

"You're totally fucking with me!" Rocky gasped the next day at school when I told her about the whole Gunther business. "True shit - every single bit of it," I told her. "Did you guys have make-up sex yet?" I sighed. Rocky knew me so well. She was my spirit animal. "Uh, yeah!" I told her. Before she could reply, Dina came marching out of nowhere like a bat out of hell towards Rocky, shaking her silicone-filled chest and shaking her bony ass.

Sigh.

Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not really on good terms with her at the moment. She had been totally been bitching on Rocky since the whole Deuce incident and that shit was not ok. I mean, Rocky made a mistake, we know, MOVE THE FUCK ON.

But no.

Nu-uh. Not happening.

She sneered at Rocky who had her eyebrow raised in a 'can I help you, bitch?' way.

Mmmmm-hmmmm.

"If you think my Deucey's gonna stay with you for longer that it takes to orgasm a few times, then you're wrong!" Oh no she di'nt. Rocky and Deuce's relationship was so much more that just sex. I seen the way Deuce looked at her - like he was ready to take a fucking grenade for her or something.

But darlin', I'd still catch a grenade for ya...

Sorry, I just really like that song.

Rocky glared at jizz-rag. "Excuse me, bitch?"

"Did I stutter?"

"Do you want to stutter?" Rocky asked, raising her fist.

For the record, Dina bitch-slapped her first. I was pretty sure Rocky had no intention of a bitch fight, but hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Slore slammed Rocky into a locker, and Rocky grabbed a lock of her greasy-ass hair and pulled. I got behind Slutty Mc Slut Slut and pulled her off of Rocky, hair first. The product of a ripped condom clawed at my face, and In yelled, "Get off me, you crazy bitch!" A crowd was forming by now, teachers running to get to us.

Utter fucking chaos.

Both Gunther and Deuce showed up out of nowhere. Each guy took hold of his girlfriend, and Dina was just standing there looking kind of stupid. "What is the meaning of this?!" Roared Tim, our principal.

I wan't allowed to call him Tim to in public, obviously, but I'd been to his office a few times, and when we were alone, that was what I called him.

Yup. Tim's cool.

"Me and Rocky were standing here, minding our own fucking business when Slack-flap here comes outta fucking nowhere and starts to beat the shit out of Rocky!" Tim looked like he was trying not to laugh. He'd told me more than once that I was hilarious when I cursed.

I tried not to let that go to my head.

Gunther and Deuce straight up guffawed until both Rocky on I glared at them, and their laughter faded away into awkward coughs. Tim sighed. "Rocky, CeCe, Dina, to my office, please," I nodded. "I know the way," I replied, walking straight for his office.

Dina started crying like the little bitch she was. Rocky didn't look affected.

"What happened?" Tim asked as he sat down.

"Well, Tim, lemme tell you the full story," I said, ignoring his frown when I used his first name. "See, Rocky here was fucking Dina's boyfriend behind her back, and when Dina found out, she went bat-shit crazy and today, she finally went off the deep end and tried to fucking murder her." I explained, not even stopping for a breath throughout the whole story. Dina seemed shocked that I swore while talking to Tim.

Pshh. Noob.

Tim looked at Rocky. "Well... as your principal, your love-life is really none of my business. But, Dina, you just assaulted a pupil, and that will have very, very serious consequences." Rocky looked so happy, I'm surprised she didn't start singing. Dina babble incoherently for a while, then put on the most shit-eating grin you could ever imagine. Before she could speak, Tim told us Rocky and I could leave. I stood up and walked out, calling, "Catch ya later, Tiny Tim," As I strolled out the door.

I started listing reasons why my life was awesome.

I had a gorgeous boyfriend.

An amazing best friend.

Dina was probably suspended.

Oh, yeah. Life was goooood.

But, unfortunately, I changed my tune when I got home, hand-in-hand with Gunther, and my mom was holding a packet of condoms that I always kept in my night stand.

"What the hell is this?!" She roared.