Guys I would like to thank you for your unending support towards my writing and that writing this fanfic has been a lot of fun! Although this is the finale of my story hopefully you all will like it and think it was worth the wait. It's a fair bit longer that's why it took so long. I love you all so much I don't deserve readers like you…
21~ The End
The next few weeks blurred past filled with intense initiate training and Tobias and I making up for the last few years. Stage two arrived and Tobias decided he wanted to be the one to help them through the simulations so I found myself with nothing to do during the day.
Normally I would go see Christina and we'd talk in between her work sessions and gossip, but things weren't the same anymore. Last time I went we sat in awkward silence until eventually she made an attempt at some sort of excuse to get back to work. The terrible thing was, I couldn't blame her, I had wanted to do the same thing too.
Her and Will got married a few weeks back and she brought it up to Tobias and offered for both of us to come but her heart wasn't in it. She wanted a quiet wedding and the last thing she needed was me there, she was merely being polite. So of course we both declined.
Tobias was fairly disappointed, I knew he had some sort of friendly tie towards Will, but he knew things weren't good between Christina and I so he didn't push, much to my own relief. I don't know what went wrong between Christina and I, just that sinking feeling in my stomach that something had gone wrong and I was going to no effort to mend it.
Tobias meanwhile spent a lot of time at his own office. I knew something had begun between the factors but to be honest I was too scared to ask. He seemed more and more worried as each day past but I knew he would let me know when he needed me to.
That's the one good thing I've been able to walk away from all this from. These last years have been hard and very painful but I pushed through. I don't know when I lost my friends or when Tobias and I were able to fall back in sync, but it just happened. I'm grateful though, how easy it's been to have him back to me, sometimes I even think it's like he never left.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten all the pain he had put me through and it's not as if that has all been wiped away. But it's a clean slate now and I try to forget. The only thing that keeps me going is the realisation that what happened was just as if I was looking at a tiny part of the picture without realising what else was going on.
I've learnt from that I hope and hopefully that'll change my outlook on life. I know it's changed my outlook on relationships and everything else which brings my mind back to Christina. She was my best friend, my only really close friend that is, and I let her slip right out of my grasp. Sometimes I like to convince myself it was all for good in the end. But who am I fooling? Who of us two has benefitted from all of this?
Guilt weighs down on my heart when I realise, I didn't even get her a wedding gift...
"Hey!" Tobias cuts me off as he jogs towards me his eyes shining. "Tris are you busy; maybe we can go get some lunch since I'm finished for today?"
I smile at him and realise how much I've missed him. He left a gaping hole in my heart which I thought would never go, but to my relief it's slowly repairing itself. "Sure," I say and then bite my lip remembering, "There's just one thing I need to do first if that's alright."
He raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on it. He touched my arm gently nodding, and then walked off. I watched him walk away preserving the image in my mind. I knew I wasn't going to see him again likely if this planned on ending how I assumed it would.
Saying a final good bye in my mind, I headed towards Christina's apartment to mend some unfinished business before I left. I arrived at her doorstep with a large bouquet of flowers in my right hand and a letter in my left. She answered the door almost immediately but frowned when she saw me.
"Tris?" She asked hesitantly.
She looked almost the same except I noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes, "It's been a while…" I began.
She shrugged, "Yeah it kinda has."
"Can I come in?" I asked. She stared long and hard at me but then nodded, opening the door fully to let me in. I smiled gratefully. "Will not home?" I commented.
"No," She answered, "he had some work to do."
I nodded at sat down at a small table of to the side of the room and she stood hesitantly by the door, "Chris, can you sit down please?"
"Chris…" The name seemed foreign to her. "You know you're the only one who ever called me that…" I bit my lip, trying to think of something to say but she said exactly what I thought, "I missed that."
"Four, you're here, we've been looking for you everywhere." Another Dauntless leader approached me outside the dining room, "Where's Tris?" He noted.
"She's out doing something, what is it?"
His face spread with concern and I held my breath, "Four I think it's time we had a talk about what's going on before it's too late."
"What are the flowers for?" Christina asked.
I smiled, "Consider it some sort of a late wedding present," I hesitated, "and a sorry."
Her face lit up and she hugged me tightly, "I've missed you Tris."
I hugged her back, "My thoughts exactly."
"Jeanine has formed an army and there's not much time." I frowned, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, I guess I had my hopes set upon the latter.
"What are we going to do?" I asked.
He rubbed his temples, "I don't know, we're not fit to fight an army of that size…"
"We have to." I protested.
"She's discovered all the Divergent, there isn't much time. Eric thought maybe if we put our families into hiding and kept the rest to fight…" But I wasn't listening, I had stopped dead as soon as he said that first part. My thoughts were no longer on the army, my thoughts were only Tris.
"So how was it?" I asked excited and thrilled for her.
"The wedding? It was lovely everything I had ever dreamed of!"
I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I wish I was there."
She smiled, "Me too." As if noticing the envelope in my other hand she pointed, "What's that Tris?"
My face darkened and I knew it was time, "Christina this for Tobias, you are not to read this do you understand me?"
She frowned, "Tris what's going on?"
"There's a war coming Chris…"
Her mouth opened and her eyes widened, "What are we going to do?"
I shook my head, "Christina I need you and Will to find somewhere to hide as soon as I leave, give this to Tobias and then run. Okay?"
She looked at me as if she didn't understand, "Where are you going?"
I patted her hand and gently placed the letter in it. I gave her a final hug and headed for the door. "It doesn't matter. Just promise me you'll give Tobias the letter and get the hell out of here. Please Christina promise me!"
Tears fell down her pink cheeks, "No I'm not letting you leave…"
"Chris please. There isn't much time…" I tried to let myself out of her firm grip on my arm.
"No Tris. You're not walking out on me again. Tell me where you're going!"
I pulled my arm away, tears blurring my vision, "Chris… It's a safe place…"
She rolled her watery eyes, "Oh yeah? If it was, why can't you tell Tobias where you're going? Why do I have to give him this to tell him?"
I squeeze my eyes shut, "You don't understand, he'd never let me go if he knew…"
She turned my face towards hers, "Then how," she asked, "can I?"
"I've got to go find Tris!" I stormed out of the room ignoring the calls of confusion coming from behind me. I needed to find her, make sure she was okay. Nothing had hurt her. Where could she have gone?
Then I stopped dead, if Jeanine knew who the Divergent were, she would have asked one of them to come to spare the life of the others. Then I realised whose life Tris wanted to save…
Mine.
"Please Christina!" I begged, "Wouldn't you do anything for Will?"
She froze, "Yes, yes I would." Then her eyes widened and I knew deep down in my heart she knew and she understood.
"Then please, let me do this one final thing." She turned away from me and let go of my arm and I kissed her cheek gently. She didn't want to watch me leave, the last thing I saw was her fall to the ground and cry out.
I looked everywhere for her. Every room, every shop. Her apartment was empty which didn't surprise me. So I went to Christina's hoping maybe, just maybe she would know. I found her apartment easily to my relief and burst through the door to find her crying into the comforter at the end of the bed.
"Where's Tris?" I asked, and she looked up at me, her eyes filled with guilt.
She got up and hugged me, "Tobias I'm so so sorry…"
I gently held her away so I could see her face, "Christina what's going on? Where's Tris? Was she here?"
She nodded and held up an envelope with my name written neatly on the front. Her eyes pleaded forgiveness, "I'm so sorry Tobias, but I had to let her go."
I left Dauntless headquarters and ran towards the train line, my only means of making it to Erudite Headquarters. I don't know what made me think I could do this. But all I knew was the one truth that I couldn't get out of my head. Tobias gave up the most important thing in his life once, to save my own.
I've spent the last month or so trying to figure out what I could possibly give him in return. I had nothing for him, he was too good for me. He was too perfect… So when I finally realised what I had to do, going there wasn't a hard decision.
You see, the way to pay him back had been staring me in the face for so long now I just hadn't realised…
A life for a life.
It was as simple as that.
I peeled back the top of the envelope and took the folded letter out as Christina watched me from her bed. I knew it was Tris the second I saw the envelope. I knew her writing back and front just like I knew everything else about her that way.
Tobias,
There isn't much time, and I know that as well as anybody. These last few weeks have meant the world to me, I mean, it was the time you finally came back to me. Life was making sense again. But I also knew that from now on I would be the one to make the sacrifices to save the other. Not you.
I couldn't tell you where I was going; I knew you'd stop me. And it hurts when I realise I won't get to really say goodbye. Please don't be mad at me for doing what I am going to. It's love that has gotten me to this point and it's love that will keep me going.
Forever and always,
Tris.
I could hear a train approaching and I jumped on, although I felt a rush of pain make its way to my shoulder. I wrapped my jacket around me tighter, trying to keep in the warmth. It didn't take long to get to Erudite headquarters so I decided against taking a nap.
When I arrived I jumped off and somehow managed to land on both feet. So I began walking towards the Erudite building where through the big glass doors I could see Jeanine waiting for me, a tight smile on her lips. I knew I had handed to her exactly what she had wanted, but it no longer mattered now.
"Tris!" I turned, upon hearing my name and light footsteps a bit further behind me.
I turned to see Tobias running towards me and I froze, I hadn't wanted him to come. So I said the thing that should have been the easiest to say but hurt the most, "Good bye." As I pushed through the doors into Jeanine's arms to do with me what she will.
Tobias ran and tried to push past the guards but they were too strong. I looked away as I was taken upstairs. I could hear his cries and it hurt. But I knew they wouldn't hurt him, that's the only thing they could promise to get me here.
I can't say I wasn't afraid but I knew I did the right thing. Because I knew if I didn't come Tobias would have and I didn't want anything more from him. He'd already given too much.
I know a lot of you won't like the ending but I ended it so that to know what happens next you can read the last half or so of Insurgent… haha.
Okay so now I will do my thankyou's:
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Thankyou so much I am so grateful!
And I can't copy all the reviewer names here but I still am so grateful for all of you who took time out of your life to comment on my work even to tell me to hurry up my lazy ass. :P
You guys I cannot even believe how lucky I am to have you all and it means so much when you review, I read them all and get so excited! During school my phone said I had an email and I opened it on my phone and I was all excited and my friend asked me what was wrong and I said I had just gotten another review!
I can't promise you there will be more, but I really hope so! Hopefully I'll talk to you all soon!
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Lel xx