Chapter 20: Shopping With Stan

Bill had stopped abruptly ten feet away from the car. Mabel kept walking and opened the door to the back seat. She turned and looked at him. "What's wrong Bill?" Bill grumbled and inched forward slowly, slumping in defeat.

Dipper eyed him curiously before snapping. "Oh yeah! You hate vehicles! How could I forget?"

Bill looked back at him from just outside the car. He was clearly sulking. "Yes, and I've seen how Stanley drives!" He shivered at the thought. He glared at the back seat of the car. "I'm going to die today in the back of this metal death trap aren't I? Wrapped around a tree after we've run off the road!"

Stan raised an eyebrow. "What's the problem here?"

Dipper motioned for him to come closer and Stanley leaned down to Dipper's height.

"He's terrified of riding in moving vehicles," Dipper whispered to him as Mabel climbed into the back seat and motioned for Bill to follow her in. Bill shook his head vigorously. "I mean like seriously terrified. He was scared when we drove past five miles per hour in the golf cart; I played a mean joke on him and started driving like a maniac and he cried. Says he can't help it. It'd…. Probably be best if you just drive really slowly and carefully, okay? If you don't Mabel will be furious; she was supper pissed at me when I freaked him out in the golf cart."

Stan nodded his understanding. "Guess this is gonna be a longer shopping trip than I thought. We'd better get going then." Stan climbed into the driver's seat.

Dipper stepped up behind Bill. "C'mon, get in." He motioned to the back seat. Bill glared at him, pouted some more, and finally slid into the back seat, Dipper climbing in after him.

Dipper wasn't sure Bill knew, but his pouting was nothing short of adorable. He looked thoroughly dejected, but not angry or hysterical. Dipper went to help Bill fasten his seatbelt, but small hands quickly grand at the harness.

"I know how to buckle in, thank you," Bill said somewhat sarcastically. Dipper rolled his eyes.

Once they were all buckled up, Mabel wrapped her arms around Bill's neck. "If it helps, just close your eyes," she said.

"That would do the exact opposite of help. It's horrible not being in control of where I'm going, but not even being able to see? That would be intolerable!"

Mabel shrugged. "Whatever you say."

Stan put the key into the ignition and started up the car. It clanked to life, the car being nearly as old as Stanley himself, and it lurched as Stan put it in drive. Bill clutched at his pants legs, staring straight out the window in front of him.

Stan looked back at the trembling form in the middle of the back seat through the rear-view mirror. Bill looked even paler than usual; the car was clearly more terrifying than the golf cart to him. That made sense because the golf cart was much more open and felt less like a metal box than the car did. Thinking it might help, Stan rolled down the windows before slowly letting off the break, crawling into motion.

Bill was tense for the entire ride, but it wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought it would be. Granted he thought they'd all die in a ball of fire; he'd seen enough car crashes to know how horrible these contraptions could be. Before it was funny, watching all the little cars so similar to insects smash into each other in puffs of smoke and flame. But now, actually being in the car and in mortal danger, Bill could no longer see the humor in car crashes.

Stan kindly went no faster than twenty miles an hour the whole way into town, which was still much too fast for Bill's liking, but the open windows helped. They were going slow enough that the wind blowing through the open windows wasn't strong enough to ruffle his hair more than a little bit, and it was a comforting breeze that both reminded Bill that they weren't going too fast and that helped him breathe easier. Still, it was horrible for him.

As soon as the car was in park, Bill scrambled to get out. Dipper got out quickly and held the door open as Bill stumbled out, falling to his hands and knees on the sidewalk and panting heavily.

Stan got out of the car. "Wow, you reallyhate cars, huh?" Bill could only manage to nod as Mabel came around the car and patted him on the back lightly. After a few moments he groaned and stood up.

"I'm fine, it's okay." He was still trembling a little bit though.

"I'd say you have a downright phobia," Stan said, scratching his head. "Probably won't be able to take you anywhere very often."

Bill nodded. "That's fine by me. I had no intention of leaving Gravity Falls anyway."

Dipper nodded and pointed at the grocery store behind him. "Well, we should probably get going. The faster we shop, the slower we can go on the ride back." Bill nodded and the group ventured into the store.

Stan grabbed a shopping cart and they randomly walked the isles. Mabel snatched up two boxes of her favorite cereal: Lucky Charms. They stopped off for two jugs of milk, an assortment of fruits that could be eaten on-the-go like bananas and apples, and some various lunch meats and yellow squares of cheese for sandwiches. They spent the better part of an hour simply shopping around, picking up drinks, including non-diet soda for Bill, and other necessary items.

"Our mom never lets us drink soda unless it's sugar-free, and Stan only lets us have it every once in a blue moon," Mabel said as she picked up the sodas.

Bill chuckled. "I hate blue moons."

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

For a few moments, Bill didn't respond. "No reason I hope you ever discover."

Stan intervened before Dipper's curious nature had him demanding answers. "There's a reason these kids don't get sugar!" Stan said. "They go nuts, total sugar high! You'd think it was crack the way they go jumpin' off the walls! Especially Mabel here, she goes ballistic." He set his hand on the top of Mabel's head and she giggled.

"It's true," she said. "I get a little hyper."

"I can only imagine," Bill said. The girl was normally already so excitable, he didn't want to deal with what she was like when hyped on sugar.

They purchased some other random sweets: A loaf of sweet cinnamon bread, a baker's dozen donuts (Mabel ensuring that several had pink frosting and sprinkles), and lastly a carton of Neapolitan ice cream.

"Remember kids," Stan said as they began to check out, "these sweets are tempting, but they're for Bill. He needs them if he's going to gain weight." Dipper and Mabel nodded.

"It'll probably help him stay awake for longer. I've noticed that he falls asleep a lot," Dipper said. "He's definitely lacking proper energy levels."

Stan paid for the groceries, only noticing that Mabel had slipped in not one but three big bags of Doritos until after the purchase had been made. He rolled his eyes, but let them be without comment. The kids (and Bill) all helped him carry the bags out to the car, setting them in the hatchback.

"We'd better get going if we don't want the ice cream to melt on our rather slow ride back to the Shack," Stan said, closing the hatch door once all the groceries were nicely tucked away inside.

Bill and the others began to walk towards the front of the car, but Bill was suddenly startled as he came around the back corner and smacked dead-center into another person. They both fell back onto their butts on the sidewalk.

"Hey," Bill said with a small grimace. "Watch where you're going." He couldn't care less whose fault it actually was.

"Sorry sunny, didn' see ya there!" Bill looked up and locked eyes with the hillbilly before him. Fiddleford McGucket had cleaned up a bit since last Bill had seen him; his beard was better kept, his clothes were less tattered, his skin was less filthy, and his back was straighter, making him look taller even as he was still sitting on the sidewalk. Despite all of this he was still very much the wacky hillbilly he'd been for several years running. Less insane, but still a nut-job.

'A very smart nut-job,' Bill reminded himself. This was the man who invented the device that defeated him, who worked with Stanford over thirty years ago and who nine months ago had regained a large portion of his memory and intelligence.

Fiddleford stood and offered Bill a hand. He reluctantly accepted it, being pulled to his feet. McGucket smiled at him, Bill stared back, and he flinched when McGucket's smile suddenly faded away. He let go of the old man's hand.

"You're-"

'He's too smart….' Bill thought to himself, backing away a little.

"You're…. Hot skunk-baby you're HIM! It's B-!" Dipper had quickly reached up and slapped a hand over the hillbilly's mouth.

"McGucket, please, be quiet!" Dipper pleaded. "There's no use trying to hide it from you if you've recognized him but we can't talk about it here!"

McGucket stared down at Dipper, moving his hand away and peering deep into his eyes. "You don't look possessed….." He said. "Is that creature controlling you? Threatenin' ya?"

Dipper shook his head vigorously. "No, no. Listen, we'll explain. Just, come back to the Shack with us so we can talk in private," Dipper pleaded. McGucket looked over at Bill again, who was at this point leaning against the car, his lips pressed in a tight line, biting into his bottom lip nervously.

McGucket nodded. "There betta be a good explanation fur this."

Dipper nodded. "A fascinating one, I promise, but it's not safe to talk here."

"Not safe fer who?" Fiddleford asked.

Dipper looked nervous. "For him," he said, nodding his head in Bill's direction.

McGucket nodded. "Alright, fine. I'll play long for a little while." Stan motioned to the car and McGucket huffed, sitting in the front passenger's seat. Bill didn't make a scene as he climbed into the car after Mabel and got buckled, Dipper sitting down and closing the door after him.

Bill was even more tense on the way back to the Shack than he had been on the way into town. How would Fiddleford respond to all of this? He was a logical guy, and Bill imagined him to be less…. Violent in nature than Stanford was, but Bill still couldn't be sure that he was safe around McGucket and that made the car ride all-the-worse.

Once they'd exited town, Fiddleford spoke up. "Does Stanford know?" He asked.

Stan nodded. "Of course he does."

"And he's a'right wit it?"

Again Stanley nodded. "He's doing okay. He's tense, for sure, but he's allowing it."

Fiddleford looked around, then down at the instrument cluster on the dashboard. "Is there any purticulur reasin you're goin' under twenty?" it was Mabel who responded to this inquiry.

"Bill hates cars."

McGucket looked back at him and Bill looked away, peering out the left window, blushing slightly, his hands still clenched in his now wrinkled pants legs. To his surprise, McGucket laughed.

"Well whadda ya know? Bein' human givin' ya a bit o' perspective there, lil buddy?" Bill tensed up and nodded stiffly. "I'll admit, you ain't lookin' so hot Bill." Bill grimaced, but once again remained silent. "Does he hav' his powers? What are his capabilities? It don't look like he's doin' very well."

Mabel frowned. "We-we're trying." Her eyes teared up a little. "I-I know we haven't been caring for him properly…." Everyone instantly jumped to sooth her.

"I didn' mean-"

"Honestly Shooting Star-"

"Not your fault Pumpkin-"

"He's not so bad-"

"I'm fine."

Mabel rubbed at her eyes. "I know, I know. Still, I am sorry Bill." McGucket looked startled.

"It's alright Shooting Star…. I don't feel like I'm going to just keel over, so there's that…."

"You actually care abou' his well-bein'?" McGucket asked.

Mabel nodded. "Y-yeah, I do."

Fiddleford hummed. "I don't know what Ford's thinkin', but it sounds like ye all playin' a dangerous game here."

"It's no game," Dipper assured. "Bill was sent to us for help." They arrived at the Shack and, just like before, Bill bolted from the vehicle, this time exiting through Mabel's door. McGucket opened the front passenger door and looked out at the figure kneeling on the ground.

"Still a bit melodramatic I see," McGucket commented. Bill ignored him and stood on shaky legs, instead walking around to the back of the car and opening the hatch.

The Pines (and again, Bill) carried the groceries inside and to the kitchen via the back entrance. Mabel and Dipper began to put things away while Fiddleford and Bill sat down at the kitchen table.

"Wait here," Stan said. "I'll go get my brother." Bill and McGucket did as they'd been instructed.

McGucket watched the being before him while Bill squirmed uneasily in his seat. "So why'r you here?" McGucket asked. "How?"

"I…. Made a deal, a long time ago, with an ancient being, The Axolotl. If I was ever close to death, I could ask The Axolotl to save me, but then I'd also have to accept punishment for my past crimes and seek redemption."

"That's why he's here," Mabel verified. "We're helping him with that whole redemption thing. The Axolotl sent Bill here as a human boy about a week ago, with no powers, and we've been trying to guide him."

"Made any progress?" Fiddleford asked.

Mabel paused in her work at putting up the groceries. "I think so. It's hard to tell. He definitely has more emotions in his current body, so that effects how he acts a lot. Before he was just angry and snarky. I think fear has given him a pretty heavy dose of reality, but I'm not sure it's a good one. I try to be as nice to him as possible; I'm trying to teach him about love and friendship."

McGucket snorted. "Well good luck with that, little missy!" Bill remained perfectly quiet. "You said he's got some fear. I saw he was scared o' the car ride, but would I be correc' in assumin' that Ford's what he's really afraid of?"

"I think that's a fair assumption," Ford said, coming into the room. "Kids, when you're done there go help Stanley with the gift shop, alright?" Dipper nodded and, reluctantly, Mabel did as well. She watched Bill nervously as he sat rigid at the kitchen table. Dipper and Mabel exited the kitchen.

"So, Fiddleford, Stan tells me you knew the moment you saw him," Ford began.

McGucket nodded. "I'd know them eyes anywhere. An' that voice: Impossible to miss!"

Ford chuckled. "I missed it, the first day he came here. It was Dipper who put it all together."

McGucket laughed as well. "You're loosin' your touch, my friend."

Ford nodded. "Yes, well, I've made sure to keep my guard up since then."

"He claims he's here fer redemption," McGucket stated, lowering his gaze from Ford to Bill. Bill sat rigid, as rigid as he'd been on the car ride, if not more so."

"Yes, he claims that. I'm still not sure what he really wants." Ford placed a hand on Bill's right shoulder and Bill flinched, biting his bottom lip so strongly that it bled, eyeing the table intently, not daring to look up. Fiddleford watched him carefully.

Fiddleford sighed. "Dag-nab-it Stanford. Is this really the best option you could come up with?"

Ford frowned and removed his hand from Bill's shoulder. "I don't know what you mean."

"I think ya know exactly what I mean. There's only so many ways this can end Stanford. Either you destroy him, or he regains his powers and destroys you. Beating Bill Cipher when he's down shure don't sound like the smart thing ta do." Bill snapped his eyes up to him. Was Fiddleford defending him? Already? Or did he just disagree with Ford's methods?

McGucket watched as Bill finally looked at him. His eyes shown with something akin to hope. He was looking for people to be on his side; he didn't care who it was or where they came from. The saddest thing was, the sides weren't about just opposing Ford. McGucket could see past that. Bill wasn't looking for people to simply oppose Stanford, he was looking for people to defend him because he currently couldn't defend himself. Mabel was right: Fear had had the largest effect on the demon, but it wasn't heading into any good direction as far as Fiddleford could tell.

"I don't think this is any of your business Fiddleford," Ford said.

"It could be though, if I wanted it ta be. I could get involved."

"And will you?"

"…." McGucket paused. He knew that if something wasn't done, the most likely outcome of all this was a dead Bill Cipher, but he didn't know if he was okay with that or not. Looking at Bill now, his instincts screamed two opposing opinions. He didn't know what to do….

"No. I'll leave it to you, for now." McGucket sighed and stood up from the kitchen table. "Just…. Think about what ye're doin' Ford."

Ford nodded and McGucket stood from the kitchen table.

"Do me one favor," Ford said before McGucket could exit the Shack, "don't mention this to anyone."

McGucket nodded. "In return, I simply ask ya to include me when it comes time to decide whether or not ta kill him." He nodded at Bill. "Don't decide without meh." Ford nodded and McGucket departed.

"Come on." Bill followed Ford downstairs. He opened Bill's cage, ushered him inside, and slammed it shut. There Bill waited until Dipper came down to collect him for dinner.

"Let's go, Bill." He swung the cage door open as Bill was putting away his crayon. Bill followed him upstairs.

Upon entering the kitchen, Bill was greeted with the scent of hamburgers**. Stan was just pulling the cooked patties out of the oven.

Mabel was pulling a bag of cool-ranch Doritos out of the cabinet. "Nothing goes better with burgers than chips!" Mabel clarified cheerfully.

"What about fries?" Dipper asked.

Mabel laughed and dismissed him with a waving hand gesture. "Naaaah! That's the traditional all-American meal, but that doesn't mean it's the best meal! My favorite is still pink sprinkle donuts, though. We're having that for breakfast tomorrow!" Mabel said to Bill. Bill smiled and nodded in return.

Stan sliced one of the prepared burgers in half, knowing that Bill wouldn't be able to finish a whole one. Mabel placed some chips on the plate and handed it off to Bill.

The Pines and their plus-one gathered around the table. Ford ate silently, going over his most recent notes.

"Look," Mabel said, elbowing Bill lightly in the side. She pointed to her plate. "If you put the chips in the burger, it's much, much better!"

Bill looked skeptical. "Your cooking advice hasn't been exactly spot-on since I got here…."

"It's alright," Dipper said, and Bill noticed that he too had put a layer of chips in his burger. "She's actually right about this one. It's better if you put the chips inside." Bill nodded and proceeded as instructed.

They ate mostly in silence for a few minutes. Eventually, Ford turned to Dipper. "I've been thinking about starting a Fourth Journal," he said.

Dipper's eyes widened. "Really? Why? There's still room in the Third."

"You're working in Journal Number 3. Something tells me that, with your newest additions of Bill and everything that he has to show you, it won't be long before you fill it up. Of course, when you are done with it, you understand what that will mean, don't you?"

Dipper looked confused. "No. What?"

"It means you'll have written exactly half of that Journal. As far as I'm concerned, that makes Journal Number 3 a perfect fifty-fifty collaboration between the two of us." Dipper's eyes widened. "You're as much the Author now as I am, Dipper."

Dipper smiled. "Hey, you're right! And to think, a year ago I was looking for you; I idolized you! Well, I still idolize you, but now I'm actually writing the Journals with you!"

Ford chuckled. "You're still the only person I know who can continue my research." Ford glanced over at Bill. "In fact, at the moment, I think you have access to more knowledge than I do."

Dipper looked over at Bill too. "Well, yeah, I guess so…."

"Don't let it go to waste. Use it while it lasts," Ford advised. "But also be careful." Bill frowned, feeling as if Ford was referring to him as the "it" and not the information he had to offer.

Dipper nodded and continued to eat. Once everyone was finished, Stan put the leftover two-and-a-half burgers on the countertop in the fridge while everyone else migrated to the living room. Ford continued on to the vending machine and down to his lab, Mabel and Dipper perching on the armrests of Stan's recliner as they were prone to doing. They watched TV for a while and half an hour after they started, Mabel got up and went to the kitchen, coming back with a bowl of ice cream. She handed it to Bill, who was sitting on the floor by her side of the recliner.

"Here," she said, "it's been long enough since dinner for you to eat some more." Bill nodded and took the bowl from her, the white porcelain surface cool to the touch. He ate some and everyone else in the room pointedly watched the TV as he did so as not to freak him out like they had done on that first night, when he had first tried Doritos.

"How is it?" Mabel asked.

"Creamy," Bill managed to say. "And cold."

Mabel laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's why they call it ice cream! If it was warm maybe they'd call it 'nice cream' instead*."

They continued to eat in silence, Bill very much enjoying the sugary goodness he'd never been exposed to before and polishing off the bowl before Mabel brought him a second serving. She smiled down at him, glad to see that he was eating and hoping that he'd gain some of his healthy weight back. He had been thin to begin with, but by now even the rounded baby fat on his cheeks that was supposed to accompany childhood had hollowed out and she did not appreciate the weaning adorableness. She wanted the cute pinch-able cheeks back as quickly as possible.

Around eight-thirty Mabel led Bill upstairs, he brushed and showered, and at nine she closed him in his cage, putting his dirty clothes to wash in the laundry room off the main basement.

"Goodnight Bill." He smiled in return, even though he knew that the rest of his night would likely be less than pleasant….

*I know several people reading who have GOT to get that reference! *wink-wink* Why do these fandoms overlap so often, by the way? It was purely coincidental for me, my friend knew that-of-which-I-am-referencing and I knew Gravity Falls and we just kind of swapped afterwards. We'd had no idea at the time that the fandoms had such overlapping fan-bases.

**This sentence legitimately used to read "Bill was created with the scent of hamburgers." O.O I laughed soooooooo hard and started imagining giant, sentient hamburgers being involved in the creation of Bill Cipher. Because, ya know, like I said, hamburgers and chips go so well together. XD