~~~Yeah, yuki is pretty messed up in this fic. I never liked her much, and
it shows. She's just a shallow little idiot. Who now has more than a little
streak of selfishness. Plus she just doesn't think before she acts. Eh, you
can blame it on Akira's bad influence if you want to. And thanks everyone
for the birthday wishes. I feel soo old!!~~~
Tsukushi stumbled through the door to her apartment. She had no idea how she'd managed to get home, whether she'd waked, taken the train, or if Shigeru had given her a ride. All she could see, etched vividly into her mind's eye, was that dreadful scene. Yuki and Soujiro; their arms wrapped around each other in an intimate embrace; Yuki almost sitting on Soujiro's lap as she leaned into the passionate kiss. Sure, in all the time that she'd known him, Tsukushi had seen Soujiro kiss a huge array of women, but not since he made his pledge to her almost three months ago.
Bitterly, Tsukushi supposed she should have realized that Soujiro would not have infinite patience. He wasn't like Rui who was seemingly content to wait forever for a day that would never arrive. No, Soujiro was bound to grow impatient. . . But why, Tsukushi's brain screamed in agony, did he have to pick Yuki? The betrayal mightn't have been so bad if she'd caught him with one of his usual bimbos. After all, she'd dragged his drunk-ass home from many a bar (and the concomitant bimbos) earlier in the winter. . . But now, when she'd been about to give him the most precious gift she could afford. . . he had to go and do this!
To say that Tsukushi was devastated would have been the understatement of the year. Not since she'd sent Doumyouji away had she felt so desolate inside. Her heart was numb, her brain was ice; she could hardly breathe or think. She didn't want to think ever again; for if she did, she might remember. . .
Staggering into the bedroom, Tsukushi pulled out her futon and slumped across it, ignoring her brother's sudden concerned inquiries.
"Sis! What happened? Are you ok?" The younger boy knelt down besides Tsukushi. But she didn't respond. She just lay there, her head buried in her arms, silently repeating a new mantra.
"I will not cry. I am the weed. I will not cry. I will be strong." She'd cried too many tears in the past year, lost too much time to failed relationships and loves that could never be. So she'd screwed up again. Big surprise, she did that with remarkable frequency. But no more. She wouldn't do it any longer. No more silly schoolgirl dreams of romance. No more love. She was the weed. She would be strong. She would make a new start. She didn't have time for any more of this pain, and she didn't think her bruised heart could take another fall. She had to work, to provide for her family, she had to tool, to get good grades in school, to pave the way for her future. These were the important things in life. Money, food on the table, education and a secure job. Not these dreams of romantic fulfillment. She'd been a fool to ever think otherwise.
Tsukushi made a supreme effort to bury her pain within, to lock it deep in the darkest corner of her heart; the chamber specially reserved for her romantic crises. She too could hide her feelings-- not as successfully as some, and not at all to those who truly understood her, but well enough to pass casual inspection -- or at least so she'd like to believe. After all, she'd worn this mask often enough on Doumyouji's account in the past. So now Nishikado would be the cause of her frighteningly false smiles and devil-may-care attitude. But who would mend her broken heart this time?
No One. Not if she had any say in the matter.
Thus resolved, Tsukushi finally allowed herself to hear her brother's pleas.
"It's ok, Susumu," she murmured, looking up from her contemplation of the floor, "I just had a bad day. Have you eaten yet? Are you hungry?"
The boy's growling stomach answered that question for her.
"Ok then." Tsukushi slowly picked herself up from the bed, and made her way to the kitchen. Susumu almost fell backward in fright at the cold despair that had replaced the usual warm cheer in his sister's eyes. Whatever she might say, this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.
"Sister. . . " he began tentatively.
"What do you want for dinner?" Tsukushi acted as if she hadn't heard the pleading question in his tone, "All we have is stuff for stew."
". . . Stew's fine. . .:" Susumu caught the warning note in his sister's tone and retreated. Tsukushi was Scary when she was angry. As the boy cowered in the bedroom, the sharp sound of Tsukushi-s overly-violent vegetable chopping carried clearly to his ears. At this rate they'd be eating vegetable mush, not stew.
"Ow. Damn it!."
"Sis?" Susumu cautiously poked his head back into the kitchen. Tsukushi was standing over the chopping board, watching blood drip from a large cut on her finger into the veggies. She wasn't moving, or making any move to staunch the bleeding. No, she just stood there watching the steady drip of crimson, as if the drops of blood flowing from her hand were the tears she would not let herself shed.
Susumu crept up behind his sister, and hugged her with all the love he could muster. He didn't know what was wrong. But something had hurt his sister, and if he ever learned what or who it was, that person would pay. This he swore, as he led his numbly docile sister to a seat at the kitchen table, and finished making the stew himself. Pushing a bowl in front of his sister, he watched in concern as she methodically forced herself to eat one bite at a time.
"Have to eat to keep your strength up!" that was the Makino motto. Silently, he refilled her bowl, and the two siblings ate. No matter what trauma assailed them, they would always be family. And family took care of each other, unquestioningly, and unreservedly. Tsukushi even managed a tiny smile for her worried brother as the two of them settled in to sleep for the night.
No matter what happened, even if she couldn't have the love she craved, Tsukushi knew she would never be alone as long as she had her family. At least she was fortunate in that.
-------
The next day found Tsukushi awake and about early; bustling about the kitchen preparing lunch for Susumu and herself.
"Please, sis," Susumu begged, "No blood in the rice. Will you please stop mutilating your fingers?" Tsukushi had already, in her distraction, managed to slip up and nick her hand a few more times.
Tsukushi said nothing. She hadn't really spoken since she'd come home last night. It was almost as if the usually gregarious girl had decided that it just wasn't worth the energy to speak any more.
"Sister!" Susumu was getting desperate now.
Tsukushi finally blinked at her brother's pleading voice. "Sorry." She murmured in a dull monotone, "I've got to run, or I'll be late for school."
Susumu watched in helpless exasperation as his sister took off for school. Why did she always have to do this to herself? His big sister never let any one in; never would admit what was really wrong. Not without serious effort on the part of her friends to pry her out of her shell. No, she always wanted to be the strong one, who didn't bend no matter what stresses piled on her. And maybe she was that strong. But right now, Susumu feared that his sister was far more brittle than she'd ever admit to. And he had no idea what to do about it.
---------
Inside the Eitoku School gates, Shigeru tried to stop Tsukushi and speak to her, But Tsukushi just smiled a big false smile, saying that everything was fine, as she rushed off to class.
"What was that all about?" Sakurako asked in astonishment, as Shigeru stared after Tsukushi.
Well, New spread fast, especially after half the student body managed to overhear Sakurako's incredulous screech, "She Caught him doing What?! Well, fuck, he's a guy, what did you expect?!" followed by a lot of muffled comments as Shigeru hastily clamped her hands around Sakurako's mouth. Unfortunately, she was too late, and the damage was already done. . .
Sometime around noon, Akira wandered in to school accompanied Rui. It didn't take long for Akira to start to hear the rumors, what with his uncanny nose for gossip and all. He turned to Rui, as if to ask what the quiet boy thought, but Rui was already in motion, homing in on the quiet bench in the school garden where Tsukushi hunched, eating her solitary lunch, away from the prying eyes and vicious taunts of her peers.
"Hey." He greeted, settling himself down beside her.
"Hey." Tsukushi muttered, refusing to make eye contact with him.
"Want to talk?"
"No."
Rui shrugged, and, seeing that Tsukushi was hardly taking up any space on the stone bench, allowed himself to stretch out and recline comfortably behind her. He closed his eyes, and let the warm sun lull him, as he waited for Tsukushi to speak and tell him what had really happened. He was, however, to be sorely disappointed, when Tsukushi painstakingly finished her lunch, and stood up.
"I have to get to class," she explained dully, as she turned to leave,
"Tsukushi. . ."
"Don't." Tsukushi turned back briefly, "Whatever you're going to say. Just don't." She didn't want to know what Rui was going to say. Not right now. She couldn't take it; couldn't stand the kindness, the gentle and eternal concern. She couldn't trust it. It was just a trap, a trap to soften her heart and let her feel. When all she wanted now was to be as ice; cool and numb, and feeling no pain.
Rui was left, like Shigeru earlier, to stare helplessly, as Tsukushi trudged away. He'd never seen her so dead; so drained of vitality. This was not the spirited girl he loved, the cheerfully optimistic woman with whom he'd spent yesterday afternoon. Rui was sure that Soujiro must be responsible for this horrendous change. And for that, he would pay. Deliberately, Rui rose from his seat and left the school, intending to make good on an old promise.. . .
Having finally cornered Shigeru and heard the real story from her, Akira was in a state of shock. His Yuki had. . . done what? With Soujiro? He couldn't believe it. Sure, he'd told his friend to distract her, but not like that! What had he been thinking? What had she been thinking? It was almost enough to negate the afterglow from his prolonged date last night. But, he reassured himself, Soujiro and Yuki had only kissed, and what did that matter? She wasn't his girlfriend anymore anyway, she could kiss whomever she wanted. Akira wasn't much one for jealousy -- how could he be, when most of his girlfriends were married. Love was love, and sex was sex. It didn't matter to him if he shared with another. There was always plenty of both to go around. . . But what of Tsukushi? Akira doubted she would be so accepting of Soujiro's behavior. Not that he could figure out what Soujiro was thinking in the first place.
Suddenly, Akira was struck by a terrible thought. What if Soujiro and Yuki hadn't just kissed. . .? Knowing Soujiro, it was just possible that he'd actually decided to seduce her. In Soujiro's world, a simple kiss often led to sex; at least such had been the case for years previously: Akira had seen it many times. And if this were the case. .. What was he supposed to do? Tsukushi was his friend. But so was Soujiro, and Yuki too, even if he didn't love her anymore.
His head spinning in confusion, Akira sagged against the hall lockers. He needed simplicity. He needed clarity. He decided to call Tsukasa. No, not to tell him the news. Oh god no, But to be assaulted by the other boy's directness; his simple-minded childish approach to life; in the hopes that it would somehow inspire him how to fix this mess that had sprung up so quickly.
--------
After school. Tsukushi made a quick phone call, resigning from her job at the Dango shop. She couldn't bear the thought of ever going back there, of seeing Yuki, of remembering her betrayal. Instead, she set out wandering the streets in search of help-wanted ads. She soon found just the thing; a small ice cream parlor was looking for a part-time employee to work the afternoon shift. Alone. Tsukushi figured the solitude would do her good-- forgetting, of course, how sloppy her work tended to be when she was stressed. But none of that seemed to be important to the shopkeeper, who was only too happy to have found a new employee so quickly-- and what's more, a girl who seemed very diligent and eager to please. Tsukushi was to get her training and start that very afternoon. It was an arrangement that pleased them both-- for, if Tsukushi was busy working, she wouldn't have time to think at all.
-------
Shigeru sat in a small coffee shop sipping a latte. She looked up and smiled as Amon slid into the seat across from her.
"Hey." He greeted casually,
"Hey, yourself." Shigeru was trying not to stare at the man across from her. It was actually the first time she'd seen him in good lighting and Oh wow, did he look even -hotter in the day time . . .Or maybe the resemblance to Tsukasa was just more pronounced. Either way, it was hard to keep from drooling, as he grinned lazily at her.
"So, Did Makino get home ok last night?" Amon had more important priorities to take care of before the two of them got down to business.
"Yeah," Shigeru looked away, disappointed that, as usual, Tsukushi was the first thing on everyone's mind. Though, in this case, the disappointment was accompanied by sharp guilt pangs at the thought that she could be so jealous of her heart-broken friend. "I think she's gone into denial though. . ."
"Heh. Typical. " Amon snorted cynically, "So who was the bimbo?"
". . Her best friend."
"I see. . . Tsukushi always did have poor taste in her friends." Amon remarked lightly, hiding his true concern for Makino's well being. After all, it wasn't like she'd let him do anything for her, anyway. It was time to move on to other concerns. . . namely, Doumyouji Tsukasa. . . "So have you thought about what we're going to do?"
". . . Sort of." Shigeru pulled out a hefty notebook, filled with reams and reams of scribbled notes.
"And what the hell is that?" Amon asked, wide-eyed, as Shigeru flipped through the pages.
"Plans!" Shigeru exclaimed happily. "So here's one, where I kidnap him and we spend a luxurious weekend at my family's island resort. .. And here's an idea we had, where I lock you guys in a bedroom for the week! . . . "
"Oh god." Amon groaned sotto voce, "What the hell have I got myself into. This girl is insane." Not like he shouldn't have already known that much already. "Look," he reasoned, placing a restraining hand on Shigeru's, "I don't think forcing him to do anything is going to work well. . .You know how stubborn that boy is."
"You're probably right. . ." Shigeru sighed, "But I didn't have any better ideas. . ."
"Well, I have two thoughts." Amon explained, "We really have two angles to approach this from. First of all, Doumyouji Kaede really wants your marriage to work. Knowing her, she probably has spies watching the both of you. When they tell her that you're not speaking to Tsukasa and that you've been spotted around town with me, she's going to get concerned that you're fooling around."
"But." Shigeru attempted to interrupt.
"Let me finish. Just because it's not true doesn't mean they know that." Amon leered suggestively. After all, it had almost been true. "Anyway, she's not going to like the idea that people might realize I'm not Tsukasa. Rumors could fly, your reputation and that of the Doumyouji's could be damaged. You know the consequence of that, don't you?"
Shigeru nodded.
"But the thing is, Kaede seems to like to take care of things in-family. Or maybe she just likes to torture Tsukasa. Either way, she's probably going to force him to come deal with you. Which gives us the first opening. He's going to have to come talk to us. And we can then create a situation that will work to our advantage." Amon paused. He didn't know yet quite what that situation would be, but he was sure he could think of something, with his partial understanding of Tsukasa's aberrant psychology.
"And the second thing?" Shigeru asked.
"Tsukushi."
"Umm. . ." Shigeru scratched her head. How was that supposed to help?
"She owes me." Amon stated bluntly.
"But Tsukasa's not speaking to her! He's not even speaking to me!"
"He will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"She just lost her boyfriend. She's alone and unhappy. Doumyouji won't be able to stay away."
"But. . ."
"Trust me. You tell him that she's suffering, he'll come like a moth to flame."
"Not to sound callous," Shigeru protested, "But how does that help us?"
"She doesn't love him, but she'll accept his friendship. If I know that girl.. . ."
"And Tsukasa? He loves her. Not us." Somehow Shigeru failed to notice the incongruity of that last statement.
"He's wavering" Amon waved a dismissive hand. "Ask Tsukushi to put in a good word, a little positive reinforcement. . . start infiltrating subliminally into that boy's dense brain."
"It'll never work." Shigeru sighed.
"Sure it will." Amon grinned, "Who's the master of emotional manipulation here? It certainly isn't you." Teasingly, he poked Shigeru's nose.
"Hey!"
"Trust me." Amon's voice dropped dangerously, "I intend to get what I want. I'm not letting a few little difficulties stand in my way. You talk to Makino. I'll call you tomorrow." He stood as if to leave, but was hindered by Shigeru's grip on his arm. "What?"
"And when will I ever win?" Shigeru pled urgently, "This isn't just about you!"
"Ah. . .Shigeru. . have a little patience. . ." Amon murmured, stopping her further protests with a searingly promissory kiss that left her breathless and gasping, "We'll all get what we want in the end. .. See ya!" With that, he breezily strode off, leaving Shigeru to pay the bill.
"Bastard." Shigeru grumbled, as she left the coffee shop, alone, a few minutes later.
----------
Akira met Tsukasa at their usual spot in the park.
"What do you want?" Tsukasa growled irritably, "I've got a lot of paperwork to do, and you're interrupting my schedule."
"My, my." Akira grimaced, "Who would ever have thought you'd turn into such a killjoy executive? Come on Tsukasa you're 18! You should be having fun, like me!"
"Fun? Are you having fun?" Tsukasa displayed an unusual degree of perception today.
"Not really." Akira shrugged, "But I bet I'm having more fun than you are! After all, I got laid last night. . .And speaking of which. . . have you seen That Kunisawa guy again?"
"No! What the hell would I have seen that freak?!"
"Well why not?" Akira grinned, after making sure he was well out of Tsukasa's striking range. "I've been thinking that you two would make a great couple."
Oops. He plainly had misestimated Tsukasa's reach. Akira 'oofed' in pain as Tsukasa whapped him squarely upside the head.
"You're disgusting."
"No no. I'm just practical!" Akira protested, "See here. You're 18 years old, and still a virgin! Now that's a problem you need to take care of as soon as possible, don't you think?"
"No."
"And speaking of virgins," Akira plunged on, momentarily forgetting that he hadn't meant to mention the current situation, " have you spoken to Makino today?"
"Huh? Wha?" Tsukasa scowled, confused by the abrupt non-sequitur. Besides, given that She was dating Soujiro, he wouldn't have thought that Makino still merited that title, especially with intimate the scene he'd witnessed only a few days ago.
"I guess that's a no, then." Akira sighed, and remembered himself. He had to keep his mouth shut, lest Doumyouji go off on a new violent rampage or something. Whatever had happened, he wouldn't like to see Soujiro dead. But oh shit, Akira suddenly realized that he didn't know where Rui had run off to. He hoped that the melancholy boy hadn't taken it into his head to avenge Tsukushi or anything? Fuck. Why did his friends have to be so utterly fucking insane? And why did they make their lives so complicated? And, oh god, Akira felt his head start to pound as he realized that he really should have called Yuki to get the real scoop from her, And what the fuck was he doing, sitting here talking to Tsukasa, again? If he couldn't even remember that, then things were worse than he thought.
Akira froze, and sighed in frustration, while Tsukasa eyed him oddly, still not entirely certain why his usually mellow fried had called him out today, or, even more importantly, why he was acting all spastic and twitchy suddenly. Almost as if he had too much on his mind? Tsukasa did at least know the signs of mental overload, having experienced it himself way too many times in the past. Or maybe, Tsukasa rationalized, Akira just had a bad hangover, and the nausea was making him incoherent?
"Oh fuck." Akira grunted at last, "I can't do this. Dude, you need to call Shigeru. I don't care if you don't like her. I don't care if you have nothing to say to her. You'll want to hear what she has to say. Trust me. Just ask what happened yesterday. Please."
"You aren't making any sense." Tsukasa scowled, "Why are you being vague? What are you talking about? And why the fuck don't you just come straight out and say whatever it is that's making you so damned twitchy?" This; this is why he hated evasion, tiptoeing around issues. If people had something to say, they should just say it. If they wanted something, they should get do it. Life would be so much simpler and happier then. Sure, Tsukasa knew that he was being hypocritical recently, avoiding Tsukushi and Shigeru despite his longing to see them both, but that was another matter entirely. . . Not something he really dared explain to himself, much less anyone else.
"I . . .I wasn't there." Akira shook his head in denial, "Look I gotta go. I need to make some phone calls.. . Just call her. Please."
And just like that, Tsukasa was left alone wondering just which 'her' Akira had meant. . .
To be continued.
~~~Ok, Sorry, this chapter is a bit rushed, I'm short on time and all, but On the plus side, idiot boy isn't showing up here until Wednesday, after all. so I actually got to finish chapter, before I have to go clear all my browser history. Whee! Friends are such a hassle. That really sounds bad doesn't it? But in this case, it's true.. . .~~~
Tsukushi stumbled through the door to her apartment. She had no idea how she'd managed to get home, whether she'd waked, taken the train, or if Shigeru had given her a ride. All she could see, etched vividly into her mind's eye, was that dreadful scene. Yuki and Soujiro; their arms wrapped around each other in an intimate embrace; Yuki almost sitting on Soujiro's lap as she leaned into the passionate kiss. Sure, in all the time that she'd known him, Tsukushi had seen Soujiro kiss a huge array of women, but not since he made his pledge to her almost three months ago.
Bitterly, Tsukushi supposed she should have realized that Soujiro would not have infinite patience. He wasn't like Rui who was seemingly content to wait forever for a day that would never arrive. No, Soujiro was bound to grow impatient. . . But why, Tsukushi's brain screamed in agony, did he have to pick Yuki? The betrayal mightn't have been so bad if she'd caught him with one of his usual bimbos. After all, she'd dragged his drunk-ass home from many a bar (and the concomitant bimbos) earlier in the winter. . . But now, when she'd been about to give him the most precious gift she could afford. . . he had to go and do this!
To say that Tsukushi was devastated would have been the understatement of the year. Not since she'd sent Doumyouji away had she felt so desolate inside. Her heart was numb, her brain was ice; she could hardly breathe or think. She didn't want to think ever again; for if she did, she might remember. . .
Staggering into the bedroom, Tsukushi pulled out her futon and slumped across it, ignoring her brother's sudden concerned inquiries.
"Sis! What happened? Are you ok?" The younger boy knelt down besides Tsukushi. But she didn't respond. She just lay there, her head buried in her arms, silently repeating a new mantra.
"I will not cry. I am the weed. I will not cry. I will be strong." She'd cried too many tears in the past year, lost too much time to failed relationships and loves that could never be. So she'd screwed up again. Big surprise, she did that with remarkable frequency. But no more. She wouldn't do it any longer. No more silly schoolgirl dreams of romance. No more love. She was the weed. She would be strong. She would make a new start. She didn't have time for any more of this pain, and she didn't think her bruised heart could take another fall. She had to work, to provide for her family, she had to tool, to get good grades in school, to pave the way for her future. These were the important things in life. Money, food on the table, education and a secure job. Not these dreams of romantic fulfillment. She'd been a fool to ever think otherwise.
Tsukushi made a supreme effort to bury her pain within, to lock it deep in the darkest corner of her heart; the chamber specially reserved for her romantic crises. She too could hide her feelings-- not as successfully as some, and not at all to those who truly understood her, but well enough to pass casual inspection -- or at least so she'd like to believe. After all, she'd worn this mask often enough on Doumyouji's account in the past. So now Nishikado would be the cause of her frighteningly false smiles and devil-may-care attitude. But who would mend her broken heart this time?
No One. Not if she had any say in the matter.
Thus resolved, Tsukushi finally allowed herself to hear her brother's pleas.
"It's ok, Susumu," she murmured, looking up from her contemplation of the floor, "I just had a bad day. Have you eaten yet? Are you hungry?"
The boy's growling stomach answered that question for her.
"Ok then." Tsukushi slowly picked herself up from the bed, and made her way to the kitchen. Susumu almost fell backward in fright at the cold despair that had replaced the usual warm cheer in his sister's eyes. Whatever she might say, this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.
"Sister. . . " he began tentatively.
"What do you want for dinner?" Tsukushi acted as if she hadn't heard the pleading question in his tone, "All we have is stuff for stew."
". . . Stew's fine. . .:" Susumu caught the warning note in his sister's tone and retreated. Tsukushi was Scary when she was angry. As the boy cowered in the bedroom, the sharp sound of Tsukushi-s overly-violent vegetable chopping carried clearly to his ears. At this rate they'd be eating vegetable mush, not stew.
"Ow. Damn it!."
"Sis?" Susumu cautiously poked his head back into the kitchen. Tsukushi was standing over the chopping board, watching blood drip from a large cut on her finger into the veggies. She wasn't moving, or making any move to staunch the bleeding. No, she just stood there watching the steady drip of crimson, as if the drops of blood flowing from her hand were the tears she would not let herself shed.
Susumu crept up behind his sister, and hugged her with all the love he could muster. He didn't know what was wrong. But something had hurt his sister, and if he ever learned what or who it was, that person would pay. This he swore, as he led his numbly docile sister to a seat at the kitchen table, and finished making the stew himself. Pushing a bowl in front of his sister, he watched in concern as she methodically forced herself to eat one bite at a time.
"Have to eat to keep your strength up!" that was the Makino motto. Silently, he refilled her bowl, and the two siblings ate. No matter what trauma assailed them, they would always be family. And family took care of each other, unquestioningly, and unreservedly. Tsukushi even managed a tiny smile for her worried brother as the two of them settled in to sleep for the night.
No matter what happened, even if she couldn't have the love she craved, Tsukushi knew she would never be alone as long as she had her family. At least she was fortunate in that.
-------
The next day found Tsukushi awake and about early; bustling about the kitchen preparing lunch for Susumu and herself.
"Please, sis," Susumu begged, "No blood in the rice. Will you please stop mutilating your fingers?" Tsukushi had already, in her distraction, managed to slip up and nick her hand a few more times.
Tsukushi said nothing. She hadn't really spoken since she'd come home last night. It was almost as if the usually gregarious girl had decided that it just wasn't worth the energy to speak any more.
"Sister!" Susumu was getting desperate now.
Tsukushi finally blinked at her brother's pleading voice. "Sorry." She murmured in a dull monotone, "I've got to run, or I'll be late for school."
Susumu watched in helpless exasperation as his sister took off for school. Why did she always have to do this to herself? His big sister never let any one in; never would admit what was really wrong. Not without serious effort on the part of her friends to pry her out of her shell. No, she always wanted to be the strong one, who didn't bend no matter what stresses piled on her. And maybe she was that strong. But right now, Susumu feared that his sister was far more brittle than she'd ever admit to. And he had no idea what to do about it.
---------
Inside the Eitoku School gates, Shigeru tried to stop Tsukushi and speak to her, But Tsukushi just smiled a big false smile, saying that everything was fine, as she rushed off to class.
"What was that all about?" Sakurako asked in astonishment, as Shigeru stared after Tsukushi.
Well, New spread fast, especially after half the student body managed to overhear Sakurako's incredulous screech, "She Caught him doing What?! Well, fuck, he's a guy, what did you expect?!" followed by a lot of muffled comments as Shigeru hastily clamped her hands around Sakurako's mouth. Unfortunately, she was too late, and the damage was already done. . .
Sometime around noon, Akira wandered in to school accompanied Rui. It didn't take long for Akira to start to hear the rumors, what with his uncanny nose for gossip and all. He turned to Rui, as if to ask what the quiet boy thought, but Rui was already in motion, homing in on the quiet bench in the school garden where Tsukushi hunched, eating her solitary lunch, away from the prying eyes and vicious taunts of her peers.
"Hey." He greeted, settling himself down beside her.
"Hey." Tsukushi muttered, refusing to make eye contact with him.
"Want to talk?"
"No."
Rui shrugged, and, seeing that Tsukushi was hardly taking up any space on the stone bench, allowed himself to stretch out and recline comfortably behind her. He closed his eyes, and let the warm sun lull him, as he waited for Tsukushi to speak and tell him what had really happened. He was, however, to be sorely disappointed, when Tsukushi painstakingly finished her lunch, and stood up.
"I have to get to class," she explained dully, as she turned to leave,
"Tsukushi. . ."
"Don't." Tsukushi turned back briefly, "Whatever you're going to say. Just don't." She didn't want to know what Rui was going to say. Not right now. She couldn't take it; couldn't stand the kindness, the gentle and eternal concern. She couldn't trust it. It was just a trap, a trap to soften her heart and let her feel. When all she wanted now was to be as ice; cool and numb, and feeling no pain.
Rui was left, like Shigeru earlier, to stare helplessly, as Tsukushi trudged away. He'd never seen her so dead; so drained of vitality. This was not the spirited girl he loved, the cheerfully optimistic woman with whom he'd spent yesterday afternoon. Rui was sure that Soujiro must be responsible for this horrendous change. And for that, he would pay. Deliberately, Rui rose from his seat and left the school, intending to make good on an old promise.. . .
Having finally cornered Shigeru and heard the real story from her, Akira was in a state of shock. His Yuki had. . . done what? With Soujiro? He couldn't believe it. Sure, he'd told his friend to distract her, but not like that! What had he been thinking? What had she been thinking? It was almost enough to negate the afterglow from his prolonged date last night. But, he reassured himself, Soujiro and Yuki had only kissed, and what did that matter? She wasn't his girlfriend anymore anyway, she could kiss whomever she wanted. Akira wasn't much one for jealousy -- how could he be, when most of his girlfriends were married. Love was love, and sex was sex. It didn't matter to him if he shared with another. There was always plenty of both to go around. . . But what of Tsukushi? Akira doubted she would be so accepting of Soujiro's behavior. Not that he could figure out what Soujiro was thinking in the first place.
Suddenly, Akira was struck by a terrible thought. What if Soujiro and Yuki hadn't just kissed. . .? Knowing Soujiro, it was just possible that he'd actually decided to seduce her. In Soujiro's world, a simple kiss often led to sex; at least such had been the case for years previously: Akira had seen it many times. And if this were the case. .. What was he supposed to do? Tsukushi was his friend. But so was Soujiro, and Yuki too, even if he didn't love her anymore.
His head spinning in confusion, Akira sagged against the hall lockers. He needed simplicity. He needed clarity. He decided to call Tsukasa. No, not to tell him the news. Oh god no, But to be assaulted by the other boy's directness; his simple-minded childish approach to life; in the hopes that it would somehow inspire him how to fix this mess that had sprung up so quickly.
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After school. Tsukushi made a quick phone call, resigning from her job at the Dango shop. She couldn't bear the thought of ever going back there, of seeing Yuki, of remembering her betrayal. Instead, she set out wandering the streets in search of help-wanted ads. She soon found just the thing; a small ice cream parlor was looking for a part-time employee to work the afternoon shift. Alone. Tsukushi figured the solitude would do her good-- forgetting, of course, how sloppy her work tended to be when she was stressed. But none of that seemed to be important to the shopkeeper, who was only too happy to have found a new employee so quickly-- and what's more, a girl who seemed very diligent and eager to please. Tsukushi was to get her training and start that very afternoon. It was an arrangement that pleased them both-- for, if Tsukushi was busy working, she wouldn't have time to think at all.
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Shigeru sat in a small coffee shop sipping a latte. She looked up and smiled as Amon slid into the seat across from her.
"Hey." He greeted casually,
"Hey, yourself." Shigeru was trying not to stare at the man across from her. It was actually the first time she'd seen him in good lighting and Oh wow, did he look even -hotter in the day time . . .Or maybe the resemblance to Tsukasa was just more pronounced. Either way, it was hard to keep from drooling, as he grinned lazily at her.
"So, Did Makino get home ok last night?" Amon had more important priorities to take care of before the two of them got down to business.
"Yeah," Shigeru looked away, disappointed that, as usual, Tsukushi was the first thing on everyone's mind. Though, in this case, the disappointment was accompanied by sharp guilt pangs at the thought that she could be so jealous of her heart-broken friend. "I think she's gone into denial though. . ."
"Heh. Typical. " Amon snorted cynically, "So who was the bimbo?"
". . Her best friend."
"I see. . . Tsukushi always did have poor taste in her friends." Amon remarked lightly, hiding his true concern for Makino's well being. After all, it wasn't like she'd let him do anything for her, anyway. It was time to move on to other concerns. . . namely, Doumyouji Tsukasa. . . "So have you thought about what we're going to do?"
". . . Sort of." Shigeru pulled out a hefty notebook, filled with reams and reams of scribbled notes.
"And what the hell is that?" Amon asked, wide-eyed, as Shigeru flipped through the pages.
"Plans!" Shigeru exclaimed happily. "So here's one, where I kidnap him and we spend a luxurious weekend at my family's island resort. .. And here's an idea we had, where I lock you guys in a bedroom for the week! . . . "
"Oh god." Amon groaned sotto voce, "What the hell have I got myself into. This girl is insane." Not like he shouldn't have already known that much already. "Look," he reasoned, placing a restraining hand on Shigeru's, "I don't think forcing him to do anything is going to work well. . .You know how stubborn that boy is."
"You're probably right. . ." Shigeru sighed, "But I didn't have any better ideas. . ."
"Well, I have two thoughts." Amon explained, "We really have two angles to approach this from. First of all, Doumyouji Kaede really wants your marriage to work. Knowing her, she probably has spies watching the both of you. When they tell her that you're not speaking to Tsukasa and that you've been spotted around town with me, she's going to get concerned that you're fooling around."
"But." Shigeru attempted to interrupt.
"Let me finish. Just because it's not true doesn't mean they know that." Amon leered suggestively. After all, it had almost been true. "Anyway, she's not going to like the idea that people might realize I'm not Tsukasa. Rumors could fly, your reputation and that of the Doumyouji's could be damaged. You know the consequence of that, don't you?"
Shigeru nodded.
"But the thing is, Kaede seems to like to take care of things in-family. Or maybe she just likes to torture Tsukasa. Either way, she's probably going to force him to come deal with you. Which gives us the first opening. He's going to have to come talk to us. And we can then create a situation that will work to our advantage." Amon paused. He didn't know yet quite what that situation would be, but he was sure he could think of something, with his partial understanding of Tsukasa's aberrant psychology.
"And the second thing?" Shigeru asked.
"Tsukushi."
"Umm. . ." Shigeru scratched her head. How was that supposed to help?
"She owes me." Amon stated bluntly.
"But Tsukasa's not speaking to her! He's not even speaking to me!"
"He will."
"How can you be so sure?"
"She just lost her boyfriend. She's alone and unhappy. Doumyouji won't be able to stay away."
"But. . ."
"Trust me. You tell him that she's suffering, he'll come like a moth to flame."
"Not to sound callous," Shigeru protested, "But how does that help us?"
"She doesn't love him, but she'll accept his friendship. If I know that girl.. . ."
"And Tsukasa? He loves her. Not us." Somehow Shigeru failed to notice the incongruity of that last statement.
"He's wavering" Amon waved a dismissive hand. "Ask Tsukushi to put in a good word, a little positive reinforcement. . . start infiltrating subliminally into that boy's dense brain."
"It'll never work." Shigeru sighed.
"Sure it will." Amon grinned, "Who's the master of emotional manipulation here? It certainly isn't you." Teasingly, he poked Shigeru's nose.
"Hey!"
"Trust me." Amon's voice dropped dangerously, "I intend to get what I want. I'm not letting a few little difficulties stand in my way. You talk to Makino. I'll call you tomorrow." He stood as if to leave, but was hindered by Shigeru's grip on his arm. "What?"
"And when will I ever win?" Shigeru pled urgently, "This isn't just about you!"
"Ah. . .Shigeru. . have a little patience. . ." Amon murmured, stopping her further protests with a searingly promissory kiss that left her breathless and gasping, "We'll all get what we want in the end. .. See ya!" With that, he breezily strode off, leaving Shigeru to pay the bill.
"Bastard." Shigeru grumbled, as she left the coffee shop, alone, a few minutes later.
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Akira met Tsukasa at their usual spot in the park.
"What do you want?" Tsukasa growled irritably, "I've got a lot of paperwork to do, and you're interrupting my schedule."
"My, my." Akira grimaced, "Who would ever have thought you'd turn into such a killjoy executive? Come on Tsukasa you're 18! You should be having fun, like me!"
"Fun? Are you having fun?" Tsukasa displayed an unusual degree of perception today.
"Not really." Akira shrugged, "But I bet I'm having more fun than you are! After all, I got laid last night. . .And speaking of which. . . have you seen That Kunisawa guy again?"
"No! What the hell would I have seen that freak?!"
"Well why not?" Akira grinned, after making sure he was well out of Tsukasa's striking range. "I've been thinking that you two would make a great couple."
Oops. He plainly had misestimated Tsukasa's reach. Akira 'oofed' in pain as Tsukasa whapped him squarely upside the head.
"You're disgusting."
"No no. I'm just practical!" Akira protested, "See here. You're 18 years old, and still a virgin! Now that's a problem you need to take care of as soon as possible, don't you think?"
"No."
"And speaking of virgins," Akira plunged on, momentarily forgetting that he hadn't meant to mention the current situation, " have you spoken to Makino today?"
"Huh? Wha?" Tsukasa scowled, confused by the abrupt non-sequitur. Besides, given that She was dating Soujiro, he wouldn't have thought that Makino still merited that title, especially with intimate the scene he'd witnessed only a few days ago.
"I guess that's a no, then." Akira sighed, and remembered himself. He had to keep his mouth shut, lest Doumyouji go off on a new violent rampage or something. Whatever had happened, he wouldn't like to see Soujiro dead. But oh shit, Akira suddenly realized that he didn't know where Rui had run off to. He hoped that the melancholy boy hadn't taken it into his head to avenge Tsukushi or anything? Fuck. Why did his friends have to be so utterly fucking insane? And why did they make their lives so complicated? And, oh god, Akira felt his head start to pound as he realized that he really should have called Yuki to get the real scoop from her, And what the fuck was he doing, sitting here talking to Tsukasa, again? If he couldn't even remember that, then things were worse than he thought.
Akira froze, and sighed in frustration, while Tsukasa eyed him oddly, still not entirely certain why his usually mellow fried had called him out today, or, even more importantly, why he was acting all spastic and twitchy suddenly. Almost as if he had too much on his mind? Tsukasa did at least know the signs of mental overload, having experienced it himself way too many times in the past. Or maybe, Tsukasa rationalized, Akira just had a bad hangover, and the nausea was making him incoherent?
"Oh fuck." Akira grunted at last, "I can't do this. Dude, you need to call Shigeru. I don't care if you don't like her. I don't care if you have nothing to say to her. You'll want to hear what she has to say. Trust me. Just ask what happened yesterday. Please."
"You aren't making any sense." Tsukasa scowled, "Why are you being vague? What are you talking about? And why the fuck don't you just come straight out and say whatever it is that's making you so damned twitchy?" This; this is why he hated evasion, tiptoeing around issues. If people had something to say, they should just say it. If they wanted something, they should get do it. Life would be so much simpler and happier then. Sure, Tsukasa knew that he was being hypocritical recently, avoiding Tsukushi and Shigeru despite his longing to see them both, but that was another matter entirely. . . Not something he really dared explain to himself, much less anyone else.
"I . . .I wasn't there." Akira shook his head in denial, "Look I gotta go. I need to make some phone calls.. . Just call her. Please."
And just like that, Tsukasa was left alone wondering just which 'her' Akira had meant. . .
To be continued.
~~~Ok, Sorry, this chapter is a bit rushed, I'm short on time and all, but On the plus side, idiot boy isn't showing up here until Wednesday, after all. so I actually got to finish chapter, before I have to go clear all my browser history. Whee! Friends are such a hassle. That really sounds bad doesn't it? But in this case, it's true.. . .~~~