When we got home late that night I didn't say anything. I just got out of the car, grabbed my stuff and went in. I didn't know what to say.
So much had changed in one day and I wasn't sure what was what anymore. I threw myself onto my bed and started a mental list, trying to organize the mess that was my life.
Okay, so first things first, Ray wasn't my friend and never had been. That one was easy enough; I had half guessed that for a while now.
The next one was harder, but I got it over with. My dad was dead. There. And he wasn't ever coming home. Simple as that. Except it really wasn't. I would pretend it was, though, at least for now, because it would be too much for me to handle right now if I didn't.
And then the last one. This one was the one I just couldn't wrap my head around. I refused to. It was just too far. I could handle the fact Ray wasn't my friend and the fact my dad was dead, but not this. Anything but this.
I took a deep breath and said out loud, "My mom's getting married." It was just so impossible, so crazy, so out of the blue. And yet, it was true. I kept hoping my mom would just jump in and yell "JUST KIDDING! I'm not getting married!" but I knew that that was about as possible as my dad bursting in my room and telling me he had never been dead.
So, there it was. She was getting married. She was engaged to a man I hadn't even met. And on top of it all, they had already been secretly dating for a year. A WHOLE year! And she wondered why I was angry. Oh, I don't know, maybe because everything she's said to me has been a lie! What else had she been hiding from me? Oh yeah, I remember, that her boyfriend was the reason we moved here in the first place! Job, shmob. We didn't mover here for her job, we moved here for his job. So she could be closer to him and ignore me. I hated her and him, I hated everyone!
I punched my pillow but when that didn't satisfy I screamed into it. That didn't work either so I flung it away and then started grabbing other things to throw. My hand found my phone at one point and as it hit the wall and the back and battery broke off I remembered Troy and how I had his number.
It was late. Well actually it was early. Really early in the morning, about one or two. And so I knew most people would be asleep, but maybe just maybe Troy wouldn't be or maybe his phone would wake him up. Either way I had to try. I had to do something. Talk to someone. And Troy said I could call him anytime…
I collected the pieces of my phone and put it back together. The back was always popping off so it didn't really matter. Then I went through my contact list (It was embarrassingly short) until I found Troy and pressed call.
It rang for what seemed forever and I was about to just hang up when I heard the deep, ragged sound of Troy's voice. He had obviously just woken up. I'd apologize later.
"Hello?" He grunted.
"Hey Troy, it's ah.. me, Gabriella." I said. I felt better just hearing his voice, no matter how rough, grumpy, and tired it sounded.
"Gabriella? What's wrong? Is everything okay?!" Troy's voice was getting louder in panic.
"Everything's fine. I'm fine." Not.
"So…" Troy said, slightly impatient. I was almost insulted at the impatience in his voice when I remembered that it was 2 in the morning and he had just been woken up by me for no apparent reason.
"Well I mean I'm not fine, but I'm not in dire trouble. Troy I need you." I paused and for some reason felt uncomfortable leaving it at that so I added as a second thought, "I need to talk to someone, anyone."
"What's up?" Troy said in that tone that meant I could tell him anything, that tone that held that concern he saved just for me. "I'll try to listen best I can, but I'm kind of tired so…ya know, if you start hearing snores on the other side..." I could hear the laughter in his voice and almost picture that mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"Actually, you're right." I said, attempting to suppress a giant yawn myself, giving up and yawning anyways, "Maybe we could talk tomorrow? I mean, today, but later..?"
"That sounds like a brilliant plan Ella! I'm sorry, had a long day. A bit slee-ee-ee-eepy." Troy said through a yawn.
"No it's fine. I'm sorry for waking you up. Basketball practice?"
"You betcha. Well, night. Sleep good Ella and have sweet dreams. I lo- I'll see you tomorrow...erm...today...whatever...bye!" And Troy succumbed to another long yawn.
"Bye." I murmured to Troy and hung up. A week or so ago I would've ignored Troy's tiredness and told him anyway, my thoughts focused on myself, my problems, me. I wouldn't have considered the fact that Troy was tired or uncomfortable. Until now Troy was just Troy, there was no question as to whether he would listen to me or do something for me, he would. I had taken him for granted.
But now I realized how much Troy had done for me since the beginning of this year and I realized how ungrateful and selfish I'd been. I wish Troy had a problem he needed to talk about. An issue he needed help dealing with. Then I could've helped him and we'd be even. Simple as that. I didn't like feeling like I was in his debt. Of course Troy would never see it that way, but I couldn't shake it. It was like when he had called me his friend really early on and it had made me feel like I had to consider him a friend back. In my crazy mind I felt like in giving me so much, Troy was asking for so much from me as well. He wasn't, but I felt like he was because that's how most of the world works.
I sighed and snuggled under my covers, still in my dress. I wanted to talk to Troy, have him fix my problems but I didn't want to be deeper in debt to him.
The next morning I woke up really late. I was sore and itchy, my hair was knotted in a huge heap on my head with a mixture of bobby pins and hairspray, and my dress seemed to have been permanently creased. I thought to myself, smiling, that this would be the perfect time to call myself a hot mess. I found my way to the bathroom and showered away all the reminders of last night, stuffing my wrinkled dress under my bed for "safe keeping". I changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and a pretty, flowy tank top that had lace around the top. I did my hair in a pony tail that was just messy enough to look casual but pretty. I wanted to look good for Troy. I didn't really know why, I just did.
So I put on some cover-up. Ta-da! Me at my fanciest.
I called Troy then, smiling as I heard his voice greet me with a friendly hello.
"Hey Troy! So you aren't exhausted anymore?"
"Nope, good night's rest did the trick. Sooo.. you want to talk? Want to go down to the pond again and walk and talk?"
"Yeah, that'd be perfect." I said, an unfamiliar nervous tweak to my voice.
"I'll grab us some breakfast on my way there and meet you, say, at the bench next to the tree that grows right on the edge of the pond?" Troy said.
"Yeah, I know what you're talking about." Of course I did, that was pretty much our bench. "See you soon. Bye!"
I pulled on my sneakers and strolled downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen. She turned slightly as I walked past to the front door but didn't say anything. Neither did I. it looked like we were back to our old ways. So much for getting involved in my life…
"Where are you going Gabriella?" I knew my mom was trying to sound polite and just kindly concerned, like a mother ought to, but the words came out stiff and awkward. I froze.
"Just to the park." I replied, attempting cordial friendliness as well.
"Oh, okay." She turned her back on me again and went about her morning routine. I guess that was as motherly as it was going to get. Fine by me, though.
I opened the front door and happily breathed in the crisp fall air. Now that Ray and the Fall Dance were said and done I could finally enjoy fall, my favorite season. I walked at a brisk pace to the park, stopping to pet the occasional stray cat that wound its way between my legs. Without the burden of Ray and my whole Sunday to spend with Troy I was feeling pretty good.
I arrived at the park shortly and found the bench Troy asked me to meet him at. I sat and waited, quietly singing a song my dad used to sing to me. I hadn't sung in forever, I hadn't felt good enough too.
Troy showed up about half an hour later than me. He walked up behind so I didn't notice him until he gently prodded my arm with a fist holding a bag. The sweet aroma of fresh donuts drifted up to my nose and my stomach growled.
"I didn't know you sang." Troy said with a smile.
"I don't." I said, taking the bag from him and scooting over to make room for Troy on the bench, "I just… I don't sing" I finished lamely.
"Okay then, so that was just you, I don't know, breathing?" Troy laughed, sitting down next to me.
"Well yeah... I was singing, but I don't sing." I said exasperated, grabbing one of the donuts and stuffing it in my mouth quite unattractively.
"So," Troy said after we finished eating, "What do you want to talk about?" He nonchalantly placed his arm around my shoulders, stretching in contentment.
"Well, I found out Ray isn't my friend… and never was." I added ruefully.
"I'm sorry Ella, that's really-" Troy started.
"It's fine. That isn't actually what is bothering me, I just thought you should know." I didn't add the only reason Ray was nice to me was because he wanted, he wanted my body.
"Oh, okay then." Troy said, letting out a long breath.
"Yeah, the dance was awful and I finally saw Ray for what he really is: a butt-face." Troy laughed at that, but I continued, "But, well, it's really about my mom's engagement. Her boyfriend, or fiancée really, well she's been dating him for a year, and she didn't even tell me. And the reason we even moved here was because of him and not because of her job! She lied to me! She uprooted our whole lives and her reason for why was a lie!"
"I'm really sorry." Troy started, his thumb gently massaging my shoulder, "But at least there's a bright side to it."
"What bright side? How can there be a bright side to my own mom lying to me?!"
"Well I admit, there isn't a bright side to that, but if she hadn't started dating that guy and you hadn't moved here we never would have met." Troy said, another one of those rare moments of tenderness that made me squirm uncomfortably.
"Yeah well, I guess…" I said, twitching Troy's hand off my shoulder, "Still, how could she lie to me and keep that secret for so long?! She never once mentioned him, ever, not until I found out on my own anyways!" I pounded my fist angrily on the bench. Troy steadied my hand though, for he had moved his arm from my shoulders.
"People are stupid, like I said, and make mistakes. She probably thought you wouldn't be able to handle it."
"How could she-!" I yelled, but Troy cut across me.
"People. Are. Stupid." Troy repeated, "Whatever was going through her mind, at first anyways, was that she was doing what was best for you."
I was about to continue protesting but Troy talked right over me, "I know it's hard and no one likes being lied to, but you have to understand that even though what she did was wrong, and really stupid, she thought it was what was best for you."
"Well I'm tired of her doing what she thinks is 'best for me'! Maybe she should actually get to know me first."
"I agree with that." Troy said, wrapping his arm around me once again, "You're a pretty great person to get to know."
"Sorry. I don't know what I expected to get out of this. I just don't want to believe it. But, you're, well you're right. People make mistakes. I'm just having trouble getting over them because there's been so many I guess."
Troy and I kept talking for a while and by the end it was late in the afternoon.
"I should probably head home soon." I said, squinting at the slowly lowering sun.
"I'll drive you." Troy offered, "I can just stop at your house on my way home."
"Okay." I said, not wanting to be rude and reject him even though I was kind of looking forward to the walk. And before I knew what was going on Troy had scooped me up and we were off toward his truck, my arms around his neck.
"Troy put me down!" I yelled, kicking my legs, "Not again! I didn't enjoy it the first time, why would you think I'd enjoy it this time?!"
"Well I thought it was what was best for you…" Troy said with a smile, setting me down next to his truck.
"UGH." I groaned and flung the door open and hopped in. We laughed all the way back though. I wasn't sure what it was but just being around Troy put me in a good mood.
As we sat in the car I looked him over, wondering what it was about him that made me so happy. The happy crinkles around his eye when he laughed, his bright blue eyes, that smile he was so prone to give, his throaty laugh, his calm voice, or, well there were a hundred other things to name. Sitting there surveying him, I realized it didn't really matter what it was about him, or why he was so nice to me. It just was, and I was content to leave it at that.
He stopped in front of my house. I opened the door and stepped out.
"Wait." Troy said, grabbing my hand. It was warm and rough, "I have to ask you something."
"Ask away." I said, giving him a mock bow.
"Do you want to go to the Christmas Dance with me? It'd be fun."
"I don't know." I said quietly, not looking at him, still holding his hand, "I didn't really have fun at my last dance, to be honest… Then again, I was with a jerk so that might have something to do with it but I don't know really."
"Please. I promise it will be fun and we'll get to hang out with all our friends. And it will be a once in a lifetime chance to see me dressed up." He added with a smirk.
"Fine!" I said, pulling away from him, "Fine! I couldn't miss an opportunity like that!"
And then he was gone, and I was standing there watching his car leave and for the first time in a long time I felt like everything was going to be all right. At least my mom had told me the truth instead of lying to me until the end. Because I realized that even though it hurts to learn the truth sometimes, it's better than being blind to it. And maybe now that the truth was out my mom and I could start maybe working out some of our problems. It wasn't exactly something I was particularly looking forward too, but I knew that it was a step forward with her.
Either way I couldn't help but be glad that no matter what happened Troy would be there for me. Someone stable in my ever changing life, and someone I trusted.
Trust. Ray's words came back to me and I felt myself cringe. He just wants your body too. But I stuck to what I said. Troy wasn't like that and I would trust him.
How could I even consider believing Ray, someone who had only told me lies for as long as I can remember?
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm so sorry for taking so long. School and sports have started and I have been as busy as a bee. 101 reviews! WOOHOO! Thank you sooooo much. So this is a pretty short chapter but it's leading up to a bigger one, I promise. And I'll be working really hard on the next one so hopefully I'll be able to post it sooner than I did this one. I added more Troy and Gabby time, and next chapter hopefully there will be some Sharpay interference.
Thank you for all the followers and favorites and special thanks to my reviewers, the feedback really keeps me going, thanks to…. hopelessromanticgurl, wildcats2016 , pumpkinking5, Anonymous/Guest, yogaluva, MiSsToNiBaBy