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Lotusblosm pre-reads and secretobsession7 added all of my missing commas and fixed some words! You girls rule!

Stephenie Meyer owns this.

Chapter 21~~Shit for Brains

Edward

Never in a hundred and seven years would I have thought that Bella and I would have sex for the first time in a shower. I wasn't proud of that fact, though I was pretty proud of my performance. I tried, okay, so I thought about trying, to hold out, but my girl was in there naked. When she actually pulled me to her, there was nothing I could do but submit to her request and 'clean up'.

I figured we would mess around a little...err...a lot, but I didn't anticipate that we would go all the way. I wasn't prepared for it and was pleasantly surprised that Bella was on the pill. Well, let's be honest, I was fucking ecstatic. I only hoped it was for bad cramps or some shit. I didn't want to believe that she used it for actual birth control, except for with me of course.

Being inside of my girl was like heaven. She was so tight, it was almost virginal. I think I went through the entire batting line-up of the Mariners, so that I didn't prematurely ejaculate. In other words, I didn't want to feel like a schmuck and cum too fast.

I hoped, now that our first time was out of the way, we could properly explore a fuck load of sexual options. Not that I was into anything too freaky, but I couldn't wait to properly ravish Bella, who by the way, was now my girlfriend.

Getting a work call was always a rush. I never knew what it was going to be. The timing wasn't the best, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. I had finished eating, and manged to awkwardly ask Bella if she wanted to be my girlfriend, before I left. She didn't actually say yes, but instead pulled me in for a kiss that made my dick twitch. That girl was one hell of a good kisser.

It was stupid of me to think that nothing could kill my 'after sex and now have a girlfriend' buzz. Fuck, was I wrong. After speeding like a motherfucker to get to the scene, I was trying to remain calm. The calmness quickly dissipated the minute I heard Tanya's voice screaming my name. It was all I could do to not totally freak out when I turned around and saw her covered in blood.

"Edward," she sobbed, while wrapping her shaking hands around my waist.

"Tanya, are you hurt? Try and calm down. What happened?" I was trying to look her over but she was sobbing and holding onto me for dear life.

"Oh my god! I thought he was going to kill me. I thought I was going to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. How could this happen?" she wailed with a new round of fresh tears.

"The gunman was holding a gun to her head and threatening to kill her unless we complied with his every demand." Yorkie was sweating like a motherfucker and talking a mile a minute. "The minute his movements started to get too erratic, SWAT shot and killed him."

Holy hell, Tanya was his hostage. I couldn't even fathom what she was going through, having just been in the grasp of a madman. It could have been her laying lifeless and bloody on the floor. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with emotions. I was not in love with her, and never had been, but she had been a major part of my life for quite sometime, and I only hoped she could get past this traumatic event.

"Tanya, I'm here. It's okay. He can't hurt you," I said as I continued to hold her. I was trying to sooth her and calm myself down in the process. I should have been there sooner, but I was there now, and needed to do everything in my power to help her through it. "Shh. It's going to be okay." We were slowly swaying, as if it was a slow dance.

"Edward, boss wants us to meet up at the precinct so we can write up the statements and get the initial reports done. Tanya will need to be there as well." Yorkie was cautiously trying to guide us out of there.

Tanya and I broke apart, and I finally let myself take a look at her. To say she looked like hell was a gross understatement. She had terrible bags under her eyes, and as I looked closely, I noticed brain matter plastered to her hair. She was splattered with blood, that was starting to dry, and smelled awful. I put my arms out in front of me and noticed that I was now covered in bodily fluids as well.

I forced the irritation to the back of my mind, as I took off my suit jacket and offered it to her. She was wearing an oversized cardigan sweater over a pair of leggings. She stared at my jacket for a minute before she started to put it on over her sweater.

"Tanya, take off your sweater, and then put the jacket on," I said matter-of-factly. "My jacket is a lot cleaner than your sweater."

She started to hand it back to me, and then changed her mind. She turned around, taking off the sweater, and putting on my jacket. When she turned back toward me, while buttoning it up, she gave me a slightly panicked look. Tanya was never one for being modest, and it was a little unnerving that she decided to start. I couldn't over analyze her for it, seeing as she had just been held hostage not long ago.

She still looked uneasy and her hands were still shaking.

"Let's get you out of here." I picked her up and headed out the door.

There were news vans lined up at the perimeter, and I could see the bright lights of the cameras. I could hear the media frenzy erupt as they spotted us exiting the building.

Their words were running together, and they reminded me of vultures circling their prey. They were showing absolute disrespect, and it was all I could do not to shove their fucking cameras up their asses.

I held Tanya closer and rushed past them. One fucker, who reminded me of Newton, was actually cracking jokes to the guy next to him and fucking had the nerve to snicker. We made eye contact and he could tell I was pissed.

"Aren't you going to tell us what happened Agent?" He purposely dragged out the word 'agent' and I could have cold cocked him.

"No comment. Show some respect," I shouted with venom.

"Fuck him." The 'Newton reminder guy' said to his friend.

I turned around and glared at him. If I wasn't holding Tanya, who was getting heavier by the minute, I would have beat that fucker's ass.

"How the hell did he hear me?" he said, utterly surprised.

We arrived at the local precinct and Tanya was a nervous mess. "What were you doing there on a Monday anyways?" I asked her.

"I just went to get my sch...sched...scheduuule." She started sobbing once again, and I couldn't help but think what a long night it was going to be.

There really wasn't a lot for me to do in all honesty. I hadn't been at the scene prior to the shooting, and I was at court during the bank robbery. I was, however, stuck there as Tanya's moral support.

She went to the restroom, and I checked my phone to see if I had missed any calls. There was a text from Bella, which made me smile in spite of the situation. In total inappropriate fashion, my cock came to life as I read my favorite new word 'shower'. My girl knew how to text.

I texted her back as Tanya came out of the bathroom. I subtly rearranged my package and put my phone away. She could have been killed and there I was smiling, with a chubby. I was a complete asshole.

I looked up at her and noticed she was grasping her stomach in pain. "Tanya, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm okay. I just feel a little sick. I'm fine, really." She was taking deep breaths and continued to clench her stomach.

I walked over and grabbed her a chair to sit on. "Tanya, sit down and try to relax."

She gingerly sat down, and I couldn't help but think that she looked heavier than the last time I saw her. I was sure the oversized clothes didn't help, not to mention being coated with some fucker's brains.

I waited until she calmed down a little before proposing that she take a shower. I was trying not to be a dick, but I was getting sort of grossed out.

"Tanya, it's going to be awhile before you have to give your statement. How about you sh...get cleaned up?" I couldn't bring myself to say my new favorite word to Tanya. "There's a locker room down the hall."

"I don't have any clothes, Edward." Her breathing had finally returned to normal.

"I'll get you some. Don't worry about that. Do you feel well enough?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said hesitantly.

I walked her down the hall and directed her to the locker room. "I'll make sure no one comes in. I'm going to find you something to wear. There are towels and toiletries inside."

"Okay, but can you please hurry up. I don't want to be alone. I am so freaked out."

I didn't want to point out that we were in a police station for crying out loud. I turned away and headed in search of some clothes.

"Alright, I'll hurry."

I managed to find her a pair of shorts that said 'Seattle's Finest' on them, but was coming up empty on shirts. I knew that the whole department would prefer it if I came up empty, but now was not the time to propose flashing.

I remembered that my gym bag was in my car. I went outside and grabbed her a t-shirt from the bag, and an FBI hoodie that was in the car. I was trying to hurry, as I didn't want to get her anymore upset.

I tentatively knocked on the locker room door, but didn't get a response. I walked in and could hear her talking in a hushed voice on her cell phone. I didn't want to eavesdrop, as it was none of my business who she was talking to. I cleared my throat, alerting her of my presence. She immediately ended the call.

"Hey," she said.

"I found you some clothes," I said, as I handed them to her.

"Thanks. I think I'll take that shower now." She started to undress, but then hesitated.

"Um, okay, I'll just wait out in the hall," I said, unsure of what she wanted me to do.

"Thanks. Hey, do you mind calling Angela and asking her if she'll come here?"

"Sure. I'll call her." I was relieved that she would have someone else to lean on for the support that she would need.

I walked out of the locker room so a newly shy Tanya could get undressed. I guess it was a good thing she didn't want me in there so that the situation didn't get even more awkward. Fuck, I hadn't even had a chance to give her shit about my Harley...not to mention my jeans!

"Edward, boss is ready for Tanya." Yorkie looked like he had been awake for days. "Is she okay?"

"She feels a little sick, but she's showering now," I said, while motioning towards the locker room. "I told her I'd wait out here."

"Alright, I'll tell boss you'll both be in when she's done." Yorkie walked towards the conference room.

I walked the hallway aimlessly while she was showering. I thought about calling Bella, but it was late, and I didn't want to wake her. I realized that I almost forgot to call Angela, so I proceeded to dial her number. We spoke for a minute, and she said she would leave shortly.

Tanya walked out of the locker room looking much better than when she entered it. We walked to the conference room together. We sat down and she was asked to give her statement. She started to get extremely anxious and nervous while she was reliving the nightmare. I felt terrible for her. She didn't deserve what she was going through. She'd been through enough lately.

Her statement was complete, and as we walked out of the room, Angela was waiting in the hallway. Tanya ran up to her and they tightly embraced. She started sobbing once again.

"I thought we were going to die." She was holding onto Angela and was giving her a few details of what happened in between sobs.

"It's okay sweetie. You're going to be okay. Do you feel alright?" Angela was rubbing her back and looked genuinely concerned.

"I had some cramping earlier and felt sick, but I'm okay now." She was hiccuping, as she glanced back at me.

"Agent Cullen, I need to see you in the conference room," Boss said, in a serious tone.

"It's okay Edward. I'll bring her home," Angela said.

I said goodbye, gave Tanya a quick and awkward hug, and walked to the conference room.

Boss, Yorkie and I went over the details of the day from hell. It turned out that the victim/robber was on parole, which meant we would be able to get into the residence with no problems.

He was also a member of the South End Riders. The word on the street was that those losers were doing almost anything to gain some street cred. It was getting entirely out of hand.

The plan was to search the residence in the morning, hoping to find the stolen money, so we would be able to close the case.

I was so happy that Angela had come to take care of Tanya. It simply wasn't my job anymore, and doing so would only make things harder on her.

After tossing and turning all night with nightmares, I decided I would just get up with the birds, and start my day. I dreamt of a gunman holding a hostage, but when he turned her around it was Bella instead of Tanya. It was when I heard the gunshot that took the gunman's life, that I bolted upright in my bed.

I threw on some clothes, and decided a run would help clear my head, and get rid of anxious feelings that my dreams caused. I couldn't shake the guilty feelings I had from being thankful that the hostage had been Tanya and not Bella. What the fuck? What an insensitive thing to think. Before I knew it I was making my way back to my place at a sprinter's pace.

I checked my phone before I showered and noticed I had a text. I opened it an couldn't help but laugh.

eDWard, can u cOME over 4 super 2niTE!.?

It was from my mother, God love her. What the hell, she was a pretty good cook. I almost wanted to see what Bella was doing first, but I needed to answer my mom.

Sure mom. That would b SUPER.

I knew that I needed to see Bella. I figured if I could get Bella to come with me to search the apartment, I could kill two birds with one stone. I guess I could classify Bella as a bird since her last name was 'Swan'. I got ready for work and called the parole office on my way downtown.

"Hey Irina. It's Edward," I said sweetly.

"Well hello to you Agent. I am assuming you're calling to see who that shithead's officer was," she said without pausing.

Irina knew what was up better than anyone.

"Yep. You've got it," I said.

"Well, you're buddy has been here for hours already. He is wigging out and has locked himself in his office."

"Alright." Poor Emmett. He was going to be dragged through the coals. "Can you transfer me to Officer Swan?"

"Sure thing baby."

It was great to hear my girlfriend's voice. I couldn't wait to see her, even if it was to do something potentially dangerous. The best case scenario was that the landlord could let us into an empty apartment.

Of course, the best case scenario wasn't what was in the plans. We ran up the four flights of stairs to get to the correct apartment. Of course it was on the top floor. I was in decent shape, but found myself winded. I was hoping that Bella didn't notice. When we got to the door, we could hear noise inside. I banged as loud as I could without fucking up my hand, and a young looking kid answered. He quickly tried to slam the door, but I forced my way inside before he could do so.

Bella and Yorkie were close behind. As the three of us entered the apartment with our weapons drawn, we saw three guys and could hear one in the bathroom.

I busted into the bathroom to see an asscrack that belonged to a skinny kid. He was bending over the toilet emptying a baggie, of what I suspected was cocaine, into it. His pants were sagging so low I thought they might fall off of him. I knocked him away from the toilet and grabbed a hold of his t-shirt.

The bathroom was small as fuck, so I dragged him out into the kitchen area. I pushed him to the ground, and was putting my cuffs on him, when I noticed that he had stopped moving and was glaring at Bella.

"Bitch," he snarled at her.

I proceeded to cuff him as tight as the cuffs would go. He fucking called my girl a 'bitch'. I needed to stay calm, when in reality I wanted to kick the shit out of him, and then force him to apologize. Although that would be chivalrous, I'm sure it would have pissed Bella the fuck off.

We had the situation under control and needed to do what we came there for. I motioned for Bella to search the living room area, while I went into the bedroom. I was pissed that I forgot my rubber gloves. The place was fucking filthy. I looked around and nothing was glaringly obvious.

I turned the bed inside out, searched through the dressers, and looked in the closet. Nada. I was about to call it a day, when I saw something out on the fire escape. I moved to the window and saw a suitcase sitting there. Bingo...I hoped. Who knew what was in it. They could have packed a bag for a quick escape.

I forced the window open and dragged it inside. It was freaking heavy. I felt like Jerry fucking Maguire, because I wanted to start screaming 'SHOW ME THE MONEY!'. I felt that to be a tad inappropriate, yet I couldn't help but snicker.

I took a deep breathe and unzipped the suitcase. "Jackpot!" I yelled. Fuck yeah. There was a ton of money, and I could see some of it was purple from the dye pack. Mission accomplished.

I was reveling in my success, when all of a sudden I could hear some sort of commotion.

"Ow, fuck! I give, just STOP BITING ME!" came a male's voice.

I ran out of the bedroom in time to see Bella holding onto someone's ankle and biting the hell out of it. She then got on top of him and cuffed him up. I though I had just popped wood.

I watched as she flipped him over, and could tell by the look on her face that she was disappointed. I wondered why.

"Riley? What are you doing here?" she asked as her voice was shaking.

"I swear I just got here, Officer Swan," he told her.

I was pretty damn quick, and figured out how she knew him. Well, the 'Officer' part may have tipped me off. I watched her as she started to calm down and was talking to him like a human being instead of going ape shit on his ass.

I looked at Yorkie who was gaping at Bella. "Dude, what's the matter?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked. "What is she, some kind of vampire girl? That was genius!" He was holding his hands together as if he almost thought about clapping.

He must have thought better of it as he saw that she actually knew him, and was in the middle of what seemed like a deep conversation.

In the meantime, I called the police so they could decide if they would file charges for the drugs and paraphernalia, and then I called my supervisor to notify him of the recovered money.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" Bella asked timidly.

"Yeah, as long as you promise not to bite," I answered, and walked towards her.

She flicked my ear as she approached. "Don't say that again, or I will promise never to bite you."

She was looking up at me though her lashes, and I decided that I did indeed want her to bite me.

"You were saying?" I said with mock seriousness.

"Okay, so Mr. Riley Xavier over there just got out of prison the other day, and is on my caseload. He swears he just stopped over to see someone he used to know. He said he just wore the attire so that he wouldn't get fucked with in this area. I searched him and he is clean. What the frick do I do? He got a job today and everything." She let out a sigh and I could tell she was contemplating her decision.

"Do you believe him Bella?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but this looks bad," she said as she bit her lip in concentration.

"Well, you already broke the rules with the cruel and unusual punishment, so I guess maybe a few days in jail would suffice." I smiled at her and was expecting a rib shot.

"Ha ha. I was thinking the same thing. I don't want him to get fired before he even starts the job."

We heard the cavalry before seeing them. The unmistakable clatter of police boots were trudging up the stairs in sync. Upon their arrival Bella, Yorkie and I transported her parolee to the jail. We left the other three for the police to deal with.

We exited the apartment and Bella ran smack dab into the back of a big guy. He was dressed in a suit and was too busy on his cell to notice that he was blocking the doorway.

"Umph," he said while turning around.

There, staring at my girlfriend, was Jacob Showupeverywhere Black.

"Jake! Hey. Sorry about that," she said with a smile.

"Hey Bells! I'm sorry. I was trying to get the address of a client. He snuck a call to me while he was hiding from cops in the bathroom."

"Fourth floor, last door on the left. Oh, by the way, your client was flushing a bag of coke down the toilet when I found him in the bathroom," I said cockily.

I had no idea what it was about that guy that turned me into a total competitive dickhead. Let me rephrase. The way he looked at Bella turned me into a competitive and total dickhead.

They chatted for a couple of minutes and I wasn't sure who was more anxious, me or the handcuffed guy. He gave her a hug goodbye, once again telling her to give him a call.

I swore that the next time I saw that dude, and I was with Bella, I would grab her ass, tits, or any other part of her to show him that she was off the market. Even better would be finding one of those cursive gold charms for a necklace. She could sport a big fucking 'Edward' around her neck. Maybe then he would get the point.

We dropped Mr. Riley Xavier off at the jail, and then it was time for the three of us to get back to our respective offices. We pulled up to the State Building, and I was bummed that she had to leave.

I got out of the car and opened the door for her. She stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around me.

"Am I going to see you later beautiful girl?" I asked, while nuzzling her neck.

"If you want to. I'm going out to eat with Alice and Rose, but I can come over after."

"Sounds good to me," I said as I brought my lips to hers.

Our lips met for a kiss that left me wanting more. She brought her mouth to my neck and bit down. She let go before I could respond and walked to work with a swagger.

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