Chapter 20: A forced choice The 4 titans rushed out of the tower and decided to split their search, Beast Boy giving directions to all the places Terra has visited while she was still a titan, in the hope that she might be in one of said locations.
"Raven, you go check out the school and see if anyone has seen or heard from her. Get as much news out from them as you can." Raven suppressed a smirk. She was about to ask if any method was applicable but knew that the changeling would reject this idea and she knew that public places were not a good idea to start with from the beginning.
But they had to find her as fast as possible.
"Cyborg, go to the pizza parlor," Beast Boy said while a certain memory from a few weeks passed before his eyes.
He turned to Starfire, the memory vanishing quickly. "And Star, check out the coffee shop south from here."
Another memory played in his mind but Raven's words brought him back to reality.
"Where will you go?" she asked, concern hidden in the tone of her voice.
A short silence and the 3 titans noticed a troubled expression on his face.
"I'll…go to the Theme Park."
And he remembered Terra and him sitting in the Ferris wheel…before Slade destroyed Terra's attempt to tell him the truth.
"Do you have any idea what you are saying?" Cyborg said, not believing his ears. "That's right under Slade's nose!"
"So what?"
The changeling's words surprised the half-robot. "Slade could be after us no matter where we are. He might even be right now. So stop wasting time and get going already."
"And what if he gets to you?" Raven asked, trying to make it sound like a normal question.
The changeling grinned at her as if he could hear the hint of worry that slipped into her voice.
He pulled something out of his pocket and Cyborg grinned with him.
"Oh, how did you manage to retrieve those?" Starfire asked, seeing a familiar yellow device with a T symbol on it.
"Not a problem – if you have a computer freak on the team," Beast Boy bragged, causing Cyborg to glare annoyed at him for a moment before he explained himself.
"While you were all sleeping, I decided to work on making these so we don't have to stick together all the time."
"And what if Slade tracks us?" Raven asked, wondering if Cyborg even 'slept' at all.
"He probably shouldn't have much luck with that. I changed the frequency of transmission so when he tries to locate us, he will find no device to connect to."
"And since our communicators all have the new frequency, we will be the only ones that can have a connection?" Raven asked, secretly happy that they did have a computer freak on the team.
"That's right!"
Starfire stared at the yellow device after it has been passed into her hand and remembered the time when Robin assumed the identity of Red X, trying to get to Slade.
And she remembered the hologram in his room.
Her hand clutched the communicator as if it was about to be stolen.
It would be only be a matter of time until Robin found the right frequency – after all, he was almost as knowledgeable on technology as Cyborg.
"And if anything comes up, just call," Beast Boy added before he turned away.
With that, they split, heading to their assigned area.
The first to reach his destination was Cyborg. His eyes scanned the tables but except for some boys and 2 couples, nobody else was there.
He asked the cashier and the customers but they told him that they haven't seen a person like he described.
Starfire also reached her assigned area and entered the dimly-lit coffee shop. All but one table was empty since it was noon. She watched the rather old man sip on his milkshake before she turned to the waitress and cashier but just like with Cyborg, they said that they didn't see her although the cashier remembered her.
"Do you know perhaps when was the last time she came here?" Starfire asked. The cashier thought for a while before crying out. "Oh, yes. That was several months ago. She was with someone very strange."
Starfire looked on in interest.
"He was green from head to toe and they barely touched their drink before she pulled him out of the coffee shop."
Starfire was a bit surprised to know that Terra had brought their teammate here without their knowledge, probably on something people call a 'date'.
But that information didn't help their search and Starfire left in disappointment.
Meanwhile Raven was walking through the yard of Murakami High school, taking in every face she encountered.
She entered the building, hoping to have higher chances of finding her inside.
The hallways were empty and Raven heard indistinct voices from behind the closed doors she passed. And with some use of her dark magic, she managed to get a peek behind each door.
But each time, her eyes couldn't see any girl that looked like her former friend.
She turned around when she saw 2 girls exit a classroom, heading for the girls' room.
Raven went closer to them and once again she used her magic to hear their conversation.
"Do you think she is sick?"
"Don't know. I'm sure it has something to do with this weirdo we saw."
Raven was confused.
Was Terra taken by this 'weirdo' then?
"Maybe. I mean he was green!"
"Maybe he made her sick?"
Raven stared dumbfounded.
They weren't talking about Beast Boy, were they?
"Now that you mention it, ever since he stalked her, she has been acting…weird."
"Do you think…they went on a date?"
"Date? Are you feeling well? She said she didn't know him."
Raven followed the 2 girls into the bathroom and made herself noticed. "Are you taking about Terra?"
They turned around in surprise, not having expected to be followed. "Terra?" "Oh, great. That weirdo has friends."
Raven glared at that comment, causing the girl to hide behind her friend.
"What do you want from her?"
"I want to see where she lives. Or if she has any places she likes to go to."
They looked confused at her.
"Look, we just want to make sure that she's ok."
"Then tell your boyfriend to leave her alone."
Raven glared at the girl again.
Why would she think that immature Beast Boy was her boyfriend?
"Look, even if we knew where she lived, I don't think she would want us to tell you," the other girl said, trying to reason with the half-demon.
"So…you don't know where she lives?"
They shook their heads.
"She never talks about herself. We practically know nothing about her. And it's no surprise since she is still new here."
Raven looked at them in surprise. Shouldn't have at least a month passed since the defeat of Trigon?
Could it be…that she had been hiding all this time?
And sympathy spread through Raven, realizing that just like her, Terra was hiding from herself.
Just like her, she was trying to hide from her powers.
But Raven learned to control them, mostly.
Terra didn't…yet.
"Do you at least know any place she likes to visit? Did she ever suggest any place to take you out to?" Raven pressured on.
The girls thought for a while before one of them spoke in excitement. "Yes, it was just a few days ago and she said that she didn't have so much fun since a long time."
"And where is that?" Raven asked carefully.
"The Theme Park."
Beast Boy reached the gates and morphed back to human, dropping onto safe ground.
The Theme Park stood still under the sunlight, only a light breeze interrupting the silence.
His eyes scanned all the rides for any sign of the rock user, each time his determination growing while his hope was gradually dying down.
His eyes lifted and stopped on the last ride, his hope only a flicker of light. The Ferris wheel.
He morphed into a monkey and easily climbed up the huge construction until he reached the uppermost cabin, praying that Terra is seeking refuge inside it. Hanging upside-down from the cabin, he looked inside.
His eyes dropped in sadness and he morphed back to his usual form, dropping himself tiredly onto the seat.
He didn't know where else to look for her. He thought of all the places she went to and it seemed that she wasn't there.
His hands clenched to fists, realizing that Slade had won.
Slade had told him to stay away from Terra…and in the end, it seemed to be exactly like this – even if it was forced.
Beast Boy closed his eyes.
He was forced to choose to forget her.
If Terra was forced to forget…then so was he.
Maybe…it was better this way.
His eyes opened in determination, realizing that he had to forget Terra…if he wanted to save Robin.
He had to focus on their leader…because the one in real danger…was the founder of the Teen Titans!
So why did tears fill his eyes and made it hard to focus on his mission?
The changeling clenched his teeth, trying to focus on Robin – but his thoughts drifted back to Terra.
He closed his eyes, hoping that if he shut them tight enough, his tears would retreat back to wherever they came from.
And suddenly his eyes snapped open at a sound.
It was faint but his sensitive ears knew that they were not far from him and what they were.
They were sobbing – Terra's sobbing.
He jumped to his feet and climbed out of the cabin. He morphed into a mouse and scurried along the construction until he reached ground.
It didn't take him long to make out that the sound came to his left.
He scurried not far…when he stopped in front of cotton candy stand.
The sobbing had long turned into muffled cries and he could almost see Terra's hands buried in her face.
He morphed back to human, not wanting to scare her and after all, she deserved to see him…for the last time.
He turned around the stand and saw the rock user sitting on the ground, leaning against the cart almost as if for support.
Her hands were buried in her face, low whimpers escaping her mouth.
It hurt to watch her struggle like this but it hurt even more to know that he was the one to blame for her current condition.
And in that moment…he wished that he just looked away when he met her after her petrification was resolved.
But he decided to let her be…for real.
He only had one more thing to do before he would turn away from her.
"Terra..."
The girl stopped dead, her hands slowly removing from her face before she faced him.
She stared wide-eyed at him, not bothering to wipe the tears that had soaked into the ground under her.
"I know this sounds silly…but would you like to stop running?"
She remained silent, her eyes not leaving his. Running – she was tired of it.
She was tired of her powers.
But she wasn't tired of him.
She shakily stood up and he took a step closer.
"Don't you want to come back home?" he asked and held out his hand.
She stared at the hand – the hand that had saved her from herself.
But it was the same hand that brought her to her greatest fear. It was the hand that caused her to lose control and almost destroy the only home she had left.
She closed her eyes as her hands clenched to fists. Control – how she wished she could will it to obey her.
How she wished she could have the same strength as Raven!
How she wished that she was Raven! "I'm sorry, Terra!"
She looked up at the voice and was faced with a sad smile.
"I guess it's quite ironic, don't you think?" he smiled amused.
She looked at him in confusion before he spoke in a strained voice.
"Now I'm the one asking to be forgiven. And you can choose to forgive me…or not. All I want to say is that I never would have given you that gift…if it hurt you so much."
Terra watched as he closed his eyes, trying to stay strong in front of her.
She glanced at the hand that was still outstretched.
And suddenly she realized…that something was in his palm – her hairclip!
Her most treasured and most dreaded memories.
Fresh tears filled her eyes before she looked at Beast Boy.
Could she take it?
Was she…strong enough to take his hand?
Did she deserve to come home?
And her eyes stared in horror as images of Slade flashed before her eyes.
"N-No! S-Slade! He's…here! He wants…revenge!"
Beast Boy opened his eyes, hearing her frightened stammering. "Terra?"
"He's here…to destroy us…" Terra's eyes had a wild look to them and she took a step back.
"I won't let that happen. Slade can wait for his chance."
"N-no, he's…going to get us. He's…here!" she stammered, as if her ears couldn't hear his voice at all.
"Terra…he won't get to anyone. Cyborg-"
"…run…we have to run." Her voice was only a whisper as her shivering hands drove through her hair.
Beast Boy took her arm, trying to get through to her. "I'm here! He can't get to you if I'm with you!"
"He will go back into my head… and I have to…run."
Beast Boy pulled her hands out of her hair and stared into her face. "He can't get into your head if the hairclip's not working. Cyborg made sure of that!"
And almost as if the mention of her hairclip, brought her into that dreaded situation, she shoved the changeling away.
"Run!" she cried and turned around, her image getting smaller and smaller.
"Terra!" the changeling shouted after her.
But maybe this time he had to stay behind.
Maybe it was better if he forgot about her.
Maybe the Terra he knew…was a memory.
He glanced at the hairclip…unaware that Robin had lifted his staff behind him.
And after that…Beast Boy received a hard blow to the back of his head.
"Raven, you go check out the school and see if anyone has seen or heard from her. Get as much news out from them as you can." Raven suppressed a smirk. She was about to ask if any method was applicable but knew that the changeling would reject this idea and she knew that public places were not a good idea to start with from the beginning.
But they had to find her as fast as possible.
"Cyborg, go to the pizza parlor," Beast Boy said while a certain memory from a few weeks passed before his eyes.
He turned to Starfire, the memory vanishing quickly. "And Star, check out the coffee shop south from here."
Another memory played in his mind but Raven's words brought him back to reality.
"Where will you go?" she asked, concern hidden in the tone of her voice.
A short silence and the 3 titans noticed a troubled expression on his face.
"I'll…go to the Theme Park."
And he remembered Terra and him sitting in the Ferris wheel…before Slade destroyed Terra's attempt to tell him the truth.
"Do you have any idea what you are saying?" Cyborg said, not believing his ears. "That's right under Slade's nose!"
"So what?"
The changeling's words surprised the half-robot. "Slade could be after us no matter where we are. He might even be right now. So stop wasting time and get going already."
"And what if he gets to you?" Raven asked, trying to make it sound like a normal question.
The changeling grinned at her as if he could hear the hint of worry that slipped into her voice.
He pulled something out of his pocket and Cyborg grinned with him.
"Oh, how did you manage to retrieve those?" Starfire asked, seeing a familiar yellow device with a T symbol on it.
"Not a problem – if you have a computer freak on the team," Beast Boy bragged, causing Cyborg to glare annoyed at him for a moment before he explained himself.
"While you were all sleeping, I decided to work on making these so we don't have to stick together all the time."
"And what if Slade tracks us?" Raven asked, wondering if Cyborg even 'slept' at all.
"He probably shouldn't have much luck with that. I changed the frequency of transmission so when he tries to locate us, he will find no device to connect to."
"And since our communicators all have the new frequency, we will be the only ones that can have a connection?" Raven asked, secretly happy that they did have a computer freak on the team.
"That's right!"
Starfire stared at the yellow device after it has been passed into her hand and remembered the time when Robin assumed the identity of Red X, trying to get to Slade.
And she remembered the hologram in his room.
Her hand clutched the communicator as if it was about to be stolen.
It would be only be a matter of time until Robin found the right frequency – after all, he was almost as knowledgeable on technology as Cyborg.
"And if anything comes up, just call," Beast Boy added before he turned away.
With that, they split, heading to their assigned area.
The first to reach his destination was Cyborg. His eyes scanned the tables but except for some boys and 2 couples, nobody else was there.
He asked the cashier and the customers but they told him that they haven't seen a person like he described.
Starfire also reached her assigned area and entered the dimly-lit coffee shop. All but one table was empty since it was noon. She watched the rather old man sip on his milkshake before she turned to the waitress and cashier but just like with Cyborg, they said that they didn't see her although the cashier remembered her.
"Do you know perhaps when was the last time she came here?" Starfire asked. The cashier thought for a while before crying out. "Oh, yes. That was several months ago. She was with someone very strange."
Starfire looked on in interest.
"He was green from head to toe and they barely touched their drink before she pulled him out of the coffee shop."
Starfire was a bit surprised to know that Terra had brought their teammate here without their knowledge, probably on something people call a 'date'.
But that information didn't help their search and Starfire left in disappointment.
Meanwhile Raven was walking through the yard of Murakami High school, taking in every face she encountered.
She entered the building, hoping to have higher chances of finding her inside.
The hallways were empty and Raven heard indistinct voices from behind the closed doors she passed. And with some use of her dark magic, she managed to get a peek behind each door.
But each time, her eyes couldn't see any girl that looked like her former friend.
She turned around when she saw 2 girls exit a classroom, heading for the girls' room.
Raven went closer to them and once again she used her magic to hear their conversation.
"Do you think she is sick?"
"Don't know. I'm sure it has something to do with this weirdo we saw."
Raven was confused.
Was Terra taken by this 'weirdo' then?
"Maybe. I mean he was green!"
"Maybe he made her sick?"
Raven stared dumbfounded.
They weren't talking about Beast Boy, were they?
"Now that you mention it, ever since he stalked her, she has been acting…weird."
"Do you think…they went on a date?"
"Date? Are you feeling well? She said she didn't know him."
Raven followed the 2 girls into the bathroom and made herself noticed. "Are you taking about Terra?"
They turned around in surprise, not having expected to be followed. "Terra?" "Oh, great. That weirdo has friends."
Raven glared at that comment, causing the girl to hide behind her friend.
"What do you want from her?"
"I want to see where she lives. Or if she has any places she likes to go to."
They looked confused at her.
"Look, we just want to make sure that she's ok."
"Then tell your boyfriend to leave her alone."
Raven glared at the girl again.
Why would she think that immature Beast Boy was her boyfriend?
"Look, even if we knew where she lived, I don't think she would want us to tell you," the other girl said, trying to reason with the half-demon.
"So…you don't know where she lives?"
They shook their heads.
"She never talks about herself. We practically know nothing about her. And it's no surprise since she is still new here."
Raven looked at them in surprise. Shouldn't have at least a month passed since the defeat of Trigon?
Could it be…that she had been hiding all this time?
And sympathy spread through Raven, realizing that just like her, Terra was hiding from herself.
Just like her, she was trying to hide from her powers.
But Raven learned to control them, mostly.
Terra didn't…yet.
"Do you at least know any place she likes to visit? Did she ever suggest any place to take you out to?" Raven pressured on.
The girls thought for a while before one of them spoke in excitement. "Yes, it was just a few days ago and she said that she didn't have so much fun since a long time."
"And where is that?" Raven asked carefully.
"The Theme Park."
Beast Boy reached the gates and morphed back to human, dropping onto safe ground.
The Theme Park stood still under the sunlight, only a light breeze interrupting the silence.
His eyes scanned all the rides for any sign of the rock user, each time his determination growing while his hope was gradually dying down.
His eyes lifted and stopped on the last ride, his hope only a flicker of light. The Ferris wheel.
He morphed into a monkey and easily climbed up the huge construction until he reached the uppermost cabin, praying that Terra is seeking refuge inside it. Hanging upside-down from the cabin, he looked inside.
His eyes dropped in sadness and he morphed back to his usual form, dropping himself tiredly onto the seat.
He didn't know where else to look for her. He thought of all the places she went to and it seemed that she wasn't there.
His hands clenched to fists, realizing that Slade had won.
Slade had told him to stay away from Terra…and in the end, it seemed to be exactly like this – even if it was forced.
Beast Boy closed his eyes.
He was forced to choose to forget her.
If Terra was forced to forget…then so was he.
Maybe…it was better this way.
His eyes opened in determination, realizing that he had to forget Terra…if he wanted to save Robin.
He had to focus on their leader…because the one in real danger…was the founder of the Teen Titans!
So why did tears fill his eyes and made it hard to focus on his mission?
The changeling clenched his teeth, trying to focus on Robin – but his thoughts drifted back to Terra.
He closed his eyes, hoping that if he shut them tight enough, his tears would retreat back to wherever they came from.
And suddenly his eyes snapped open at a sound.
It was faint but his sensitive ears knew that they were not far from him and what they were.
They were sobbing – Terra's sobbing.
He jumped to his feet and climbed out of the cabin. He morphed into a mouse and scurried along the construction until he reached ground.
It didn't take him long to make out that the sound came to his left.
He scurried not far…when he stopped in front of cotton candy stand.
The sobbing had long turned into muffled cries and he could almost see Terra's hands buried in her face.
He morphed back to human, not wanting to scare her and after all, she deserved to see him…for the last time.
He turned around the stand and saw the rock user sitting on the ground, leaning against the cart almost as if for support.
Her hands were buried in her face, low whimpers escaping her mouth.
It hurt to watch her struggle like this but it hurt even more to know that he was the one to blame for her current condition.
And in that moment…he wished that he just looked away when he met her after her petrification was resolved.
But he decided to let her be…for real.
He only had one more thing to do before he would turn away from her.
"Terra..."
The girl stopped dead, her hands slowly removing from her face before she faced him.
She stared wide-eyed at him, not bothering to wipe the tears that had soaked into the ground under her.
"I know this sounds silly…but would you like to stop running?"
She remained silent, her eyes not leaving his. Running – she was tired of it.
She was tired of her powers.
But she wasn't tired of him.
She shakily stood up and he took a step closer.
"Don't you want to come back home?" he asked and held out his hand.
She stared at the hand – the hand that had saved her from herself.
But it was the same hand that brought her to her greatest fear. It was the hand that caused her to lose control and almost destroy the only home she had left.
She closed her eyes as her hands clenched to fists. Control – how she wished she could will it to obey her.
How she wished she could have the same strength as Raven!
How she wished that she was Raven! "I'm sorry, Terra!"
She looked up at the voice and was faced with a sad smile.
"I guess it's quite ironic, don't you think?" he smiled amused.
She looked at him in confusion before he spoke in a strained voice.
"Now I'm the one asking to be forgiven. And you can choose to forgive me…or not. All I want to say is that I never would have given you that gift…if it hurt you so much."
Terra watched as he closed his eyes, trying to stay strong in front of her.
She glanced at the hand that was still outstretched.
And suddenly she realized…that something was in his palm – her hairclip!
Her most treasured and most dreaded memories.
Fresh tears filled her eyes before she looked at Beast Boy.
Could she take it?
Was she…strong enough to take his hand?
Did she deserve to come home?
And her eyes stared in horror as images of Slade flashed before her eyes.
"N-No! S-Slade! He's…here! He wants…revenge!"
Beast Boy opened his eyes, hearing her frightened stammering. "Terra?"
"He's here…to destroy us…" Terra's eyes had a wild look to them and she took a step back.
"I won't let that happen. Slade can wait for his chance."
"N-no, he's…going to get us. He's…here!" she stammered, as if her ears couldn't hear his voice at all.
"Terra…he won't get to anyone. Cyborg-"
"…run…we have to run." Her voice was only a whisper as her shivering hands drove through her hair.
Beast Boy took her arm, trying to get through to her. "I'm here! He can't get to you if I'm with you!"
"He will go back into my head… and I have to…run."
Beast Boy pulled her hands out of her hair and stared into her face. "He can't get into your head if the hairclip's not working. Cyborg made sure of that!"
And almost as if the mention of her hairclip, brought her into that dreaded situation, she shoved the changeling away.
"Run!" she cried and turned around, her image getting smaller and smaller.
"Terra!" the changeling shouted after her.
But maybe this time he had to stay behind.
Maybe it was better if he forgot about her.
Maybe the Terra he knew…was a memory.
He glanced at the hairclip…unaware that Robin had lifted his staff behind him.
And after that…Beast Boy received a hard blow to the back of his head.