Chapter 21
Clark drove behind Lana wondering what he could do to get out of sleeping beside her that night. Unfortunately nothing came to mind. Just 10 years ago, hell less than that, he would have done anything, made up any excuse just to be close to her, and now he was just as desperate to find any reason to stay away.
His mind churned, discarding one excuse after another, and by the time he pulled into the driveway behind her car, knew that there was no hope for it; he'd have to sleep beside her and there was nothing he could do about it. As he'd said earlier, he'd do anything if it meant getting his life back, but he hoped that Lana didn't try to instigate anything between them. She usually didn't except when Lois was around, that was when she tended to try, and that was when he always said no, and this time would be no different. Sighing he turned off the ignition, climbed out of the car, joined her at the front door and after unlocking it, ushered her inside.
oOo
Lana drove on automatic pilot, her eyes stayed vigilant on the roads but her mind was otherwise occupied. They'd almost fooled her, they'd almost completely taken her in, and she didn't know whether to feel scared or sad that everyone, including her husband had lied right to her face; everyone except for Lois that is.
Lois was also in the dark, Lois was also being lied to and she didn't know whether to feel scared about that as well. However, she knew that if Lois was being kept in the dark about the true state of affairs just as she was, then the reason had to be important. It may or may not be for the same reasons, but it was important.
She took one deep breath after another, attempting to calm her racing heart. She wanted to believe that Clark hadn't lied to her, that he was also ignorant of the facts, but couldn't. That possibility didn't seem likely; no she knew that it was only herself and Lois that were being duped.
After she'd retrieved her purse and before rejoining everyone outside for their final goodnights, she'd kept reminding herself that she just had to get through a few minutes, that was all, just a few minutes and then half the battle would be over. But those few minutes were going to be hard.
She felt like she'd been hit by a ton of bricks, and wasn't being given the luxury of time to recover. Unless she could disguise her upset in a way that wouldn't arouse suspicion, the two men would know instantly that she was troubled. But if she could just mange to get through without tipping her hand, then the only other hurdle she had to face was Clark. He'd be the hardest one to fool, but at least she'd have the drive home to restore her composure before having to face him directly. Once she was home, she could make an excuse to be alone, and could then think clearly.
Well she'd made it through the first part, but Clark wasn't an idiot, there wouldn't be anyone else around to distract him once they were home. Her agitation began rise at the prospect of being the sole recipient of her husband's attention. Hoping to drown out her thoughts, and at the same time sooth her jangled nerves she quickly switched on some palliative, relaxing music, and for the rest of the drive attempted to keep her mind completely blank.
She pulled into the driveway, switched off the ignition, grabbed her purse, and took a couple of deep breaths. When Clark's headlight's swung into the driveway behind hers, she closed her eyes, took a couple more deep breaths, climbed out of the car and waited for her husband at the front door, smiling in thanks when he opened it, and ushered her in ahead of himself.
"It's still early, so I'm going to take a shower then maybe do some painting, what about you?" She asked casually following Clark into the kitchen.
He put the dish away, turned and smiled "I'll have a shower after you and watch some TV."
"Why don't you go first, you'll only take a couple minutes, and will more than likely be done before I've even walked into the bedroom to grab a nightie."
"Ok, thanks." She nodded, placed her purse on the kitchen table, walked into the bedroom and sure enough, Clark stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.
"Do you want me to put the kettle on so when your showers done, you can have a cup of coffee?"
"Yeah thanks, we can have some cookies or a slice of the chocolate cake I made yesterday as well." He nodded and walked out of the room, and once she was alone, let her shoulders relax slightly.
She grabbed a night dress, some fresh underwear, stepped into the bathroom, closed the door, undressed, pinned up her hair, stepped into the shower, turned on the taps and once assured that she no longer needed to hide, lifted her face to the spray and let the tears that she'd been holding back slide from under her closed lids, but kept the sobs trapped within her chest.
Her husband didn't trust her, he was her life, he was everything to her, but he clearly didn't return the sentiment. Once upon a time, he'd felt about her the way she now felt about him. At one time it hadn't been trust that had held him back, but fear that she wouldn't be able to accept him, but that was no longer the case. This time it was simply a lack of trust, and this time she felt the hurt in her heart more than she ever had before.
Once the tears abated, she let the water continue beating down against her face for a few moments before leaning against the shower wall.
She'd told them truth earlier, when she'd first stepped inside the house she did have to look for her purse, but it had only taken her a minute to find it. It had been lying on the floor beside the kitchen island, obviously having been knocked off the bench and forgotten. She'd retrieved it and had begun to turn back to the door, her eyes sweeping over the countertop absently when she spied Clark's wallet sitting on the island, almost shadowed by the two oversized gift baskets. She'd picked it up intending to return it her husband, but when she opened it, she'd been completely floored, and had to lean against the kitchen island for support.
This was not her husband's wallet; Clark didn't have photos of himself and Lois. One photo was off Lois alone, but the other, god the other. It had clearly been taken while they were unaware of anyone but each other. What made it even worse was that she'd seen this before, she had seen them like this before, and although her eyes were unable to shift from the picture, her mind couldn't concentrate enough to think where.
Clark's arms were around Lois' waist from behind, she had one arm lifted, with her hand sitting on his cheek, and they were just looking at each other, but their look spoke volumes. And if you could get past that, you saw the hand that Lois had left resting on the arms around her waist was sporting an engagement ring. She'd flipped through the wallet then closed her eyes. Her husband also didn't have a drivers licence with a Metropolis address on it, and he most certainly didn't have a journalist pass.
She'd placed the wallet back just as she found it, turned to look out the window and now that she knew the truth, she looked at her husband's twin with fresh eyes, and saw all that she'd missed earlier. She'd been so focused on Clark, that once Smallville had told her about his life, said that he wasn't interested in Lois she'd believed him, simply because he'd sounded so sincere, and truth be told, it was also what she'd wanted to hear. After that it was her husband that she'd been concerned with, but now that she knew, she could see that Smallville's whole manner to Lois was pretence. He acted like Lois was just a friend, but he was far from indifferent to the woman.
She'd rushed to the bathroom as a reason to explain her delay should anyone come to find her, but it took several minutes to calm her racing heart. If she went outside now the men would know immediately that she was upset, and would become suspicious why, unless she could think of a reason to fob them off. She'd put the lid down on the toilet seat, sat down and forced herself to moderate the turmoil she could feel building.
She had to think of a reason why her pulse was fluttering, but found it hard to think of anything. All she could see in her mind's eye was the photo of Smallville and Lois. The look on his face had been close to veneration bound up in happiness, and as for Lois... She knew the woman had loved Clark before their lives were changed, but as Lois was a master of hiding her emotions, and keeping her deepest feelings hidden, she'd thought; hell she'd thought that Lois' love for Clark had been a pale imitation of the real thing, and at best that the woman had settled for Clark because she couldn't do any better. However, in that photo, nothing had been hidden and for the first time, she had seen the raw naked emotion on Lois face, displaying her love for him.
She forced herself to breath deep, inhale...hold it...exhale, inhale...hold it...exhale and when she felt somewhat calmer, stood up, looked in the mirror and pinched her cheeks to bring back some colour into her otherwise pale complexion. She couldn't take much longer, Clark would come looking for her, and the only reason she could come up with that had any credibility to cover both her delay and her jumping pulse, was thinking that her purse was lost. After taking one last deep breath, she opened the bathroom door, walked down the hall and stepped outside.
She'd stood on the porch for a moment, before slowly walking down the steps to rejoin everyone, and while observing them couldn't believe how naive, how blind she had been. Both her husband and his twin were casually watching Lois while she spoke with their mom and Chloe, but no matter how detached they tried to be, if you knew how they felt, it was there for the world to see. Both men carried the look of seeing something that was infinitely precious and altogether out of their reach. When Lois laughed and stepped back, right into Smallville's path, then quickly spun around to apologise before turning back to Martha to continue talking, he betrayed himself. His hand lifted slightly towards Lois as if to reach out to her, to touch, then a moment later his arm dropped heavily to his side, and his fist clenched tight.
She didn't know how the hell she'd missed it earlier, but knowing that the only way she could possibly hide that she was still reeling from her discovery was to leave post haste, she quickly stepped towards her car, determined that her departure wasn't going to be delayed for any reason. However, when Lois reminded them about the basket, she knew that she had to say something. Holding tight to her control, she paused long enough to thank Lois for their present, called out cheerful last goodnights, climbed into her car and drove. But now that she was alone, now that she could think, she didn't know what to think or do, her mind refused to settle, jumping from one thing to another.
She couldn't hide in the shower all night, she had to get out, and then casually but without wasting any time, make her excuses to Clark and retreat to the spare room. Grabbing the shower puff, she filled it liberally with body wash, soaped herself down, rinsed off, turned off the taps, stepped out, dried off, put on her nightdress and stepped back into the bedroom, grateful that Clark wasn't there.
After giving her hair a quick brush through, and pulling on her robe she left the bedroom, found Clark sitting in front of the TV, walked into the kitchen, made herself a cup of camomile tea, him a coffee and took it to him.
He took the cup with a smile "Thanks, I was going to make it, but thought it would have been cold by the time you got out."
She nodded and smiled "It's ok, I know, would you like a slice of cake?"
"Yes please."
She returned to the kitchen, cut him a piece of cake, gave it to him and smiled when he thanked her again "I'll just be in the spare room, I feel like painting but don't know what, so I'm going to look through my books for ideas; any suggestions?"
"No, you usually paint nice stuff so I'll leave it to you." She nodded and after retrieving her tea left him watching TV, went into the spare room and closed the door behind her. Knowing that he could either come in at any time, or just turn around in his seat to see what she was doing, she took a seat at her desk, pulled a couple of her arts books forward and began to idly flip through the pages of one. Hopefully this would be enough to foster the impression that she was totally absorbed in deciding what she wanted to paint while her mind once again churned and swirled at what she'd learnt that night.
If she hadn't found Smallville's wallet, hadn't seen the pictures she would have believed him, he'd played his part that well, but now that she did know, she took apart every moment of the evening and looked at it from all angles.
Smallville loved Lois, but that wasn't all, he was obviously the man that he was talking about earlier. He was the man that Lois had been dating when Oliver wanted her back. He was the man that Lois was happy with, the man she loved. And by the ring on her finger, he was engaged to the Lois in his own world, he had to be. There was no way another man would cheerfully allow Smallville to hold his fiancé in such an embrace, while the two of them looked at each other so lovingly.
He was engaged to Lois, and he was either hiding it from everyone, or they all knew and were hiding it from her. Lois didn't know, of that she was certain, but she was just as convinced that Clark, Chloe and Martha did.
No wonder he'd been so dismayed when Lois heard him say that he wasn't attracted to her, and no wonder he'd asked Lois about her relationship with Oliver. And it was their very conversations about Oliver that told her, that she and Lois were the only ones who were being deceived.
Clark had to know, normally whenever the conversation was about Lois and Oliver, he either changed the subject or made an excuse to the leave the room, but this time he'd stayed, listened and even asked a few questions. She hadn't even picked up on that at the time, but she should have. Martha was the one who nicely but firmly stopped her from asking Lois when she was intending to marry; and Chloe was the one who'd stepped in when she tried to encourage Smallville to get Lois back with Oliver when he returned to his own world.
They all knew that Smallville and Lois were engaged, and everyone was hiding it, but since there was no logical reason why they should do so, then the only reason she could think of why they would do that, had to be because of her.
All of which meant that her husband's twin must be the same Clark that had been engaged to Lois before she'd changed their pasts. She closed her eyes and brought back the memories of her other self; it was easy to do since she'd always kept them sharp so that she wouldn't mess up as she had done previously. Earlier she could barely think straight, but now she was able to recall everything clearly, and almost immediately she knew that Smallville had to be the man who'd told her goodbye the day after Christmas so many years ago. It was the only thing that made sense. There was no other reason why he should hide his relationship to Lois from her that she could think of.
As Clark had been engaged to Lois before she'd changed their pasts, this world must have been created because of that event. In Smallville's world Lana had married Lex, Clark had told her that, he'd also said that his twin's life and his were the same until they got married so Smallville had to be the Clark who told her goodbye or...oh god, or her husband and his twin were both the same man. It was only yesterday that Smallville had suddenly appeared in this world, so in his time it was only yesterday when her older self had gone to the past and stopped her from marrying Lex. It hadn't been years since he told her goodbye, for him it had only been days. Martha hadn't agreed with Lois when she said they would all work together to send him back to his own world, she'd said they would return him to the loved one's he'd been with only yesterday; and Chloe had seconded what Martha had said.
Oh god...they were the same man, Smallville wasn't from another world, there was no other world, he was Clark, and Clark was him. Fuck! That's why Clark was so accepting of his twin, even knowing the man was engaged to Lois, oh Fuck!
When she'd found the spell that allowed her to go to the past to change their lives, she'd known the risks were high and that's why she'd hesitated using it. One of the risks was the possibility that Clark could be split, but that's all it had been, a possibility. It shouldn't have applied, not to them. When she'd decided to use the spell, she hadn't really believed it would happen. When they were teenagers Clark had told her that he loved her, that she was everything to him, so she knew that he'd meant it. She KNEW. Lois had messed with his head, but that was when they were older, after she'd hurt him with her marriage to Lex, but before that Clark had loved her completely.
It should only have happened if Clark didn't really love her, if he'd any doubts they belonged together, but when they were younger he never had; never. If there was any part of him that had reservations about them, he would be rent asunder; the part of him that did from part of him that didn't. She hadn't believed it, when they were younger she'd doubted him at times, she'd even doubted his love for her on occasion, but when she was older, she knew that he had loved her, and she'd spoilt it all. So although she hadn't believed it was possible, she'd catered for it anyway. She'd put contingency plans in place to prevent that very thing from happening just in case.
At the time she'd thought the risk was worth taking. Clark had told her goodbye, he'd told her that he didn't want her to come and see him anymore, and as she'd already lost him, she thought that she had nothing left to lose, and decided that the rewards far outweighed the risks. This happening hadn't even been her biggest worry because she really didn't think it was possible. Magic wasn't an exact science, there were variables and factors that had to be taken into account, but she'd thought that if she could control the situation, that this wouldn't happen but it had; god it had.
She swallowed hard, rested an elbow on the table and rubbed her forehead, Smallville wasn't from another world, he was from this world, and Lois had been his fiancée. The photo she'd seen had been taken at their engagement party. That's where she'd seen it; she had seen the photo and had not only been shocked, but had experienced a strong sense of déjà vu and now she knew why. The night of their engagement party was one that she wouldn't forget; she'd spent all that evening in turns feeling miserable, and at others blissful. Miserable when she was brought back to reality, blissful when she could pretend that it was hers and Clark's engagement party. She'd watched while Clark had danced with Lois, unable to take her eyes of him. She'd barely even noticed Lois, she'd only seen him, and had ached to feel his arms around her, wishing that he was holding and looking at her like that.
She'd watched while they swayed to the music, completely oblivious to everyone else, her heart hurting and burning, which was made all the more acute when Clark twirled Lois around carefully, then brought her back, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and continued to sway them both gently to the music, while nuzzling his cheek against hers. It had been the only time she had ever seen them behave romantically in public, and when Lois lifted her hand to his cheek, then turned and lifted her face to his, and he'd looked down at her; she'd imagined herself in Lois place. She didn't know who had taken the photo, but she remembered watching them, and feeling a burning sense of jealousy and loss that he'd never looked at her like that.
She took a deep careful breath, picked up her cup with a hand that shook slightly and sipped at the tea, hoping the calming blend would help restore her equilibrium, and the take away the ache in her heart from remembering that night once again.
She kept sipping at the tea, pushed one book aside, reached for another, and began to flip though the pages, forcing herself to look at the pictures of tranquil oceans and calming scenery until her mind settled. Once she managed to push the mental picture of them from her mind, she determinedly kept her mind clear of anything but the matter at hand.
Why Smallville was hiding his relationship from Lois was a mystery, but he was. However, Lois bringing up Bewitched now struck her as being a lot more important than it had at the time. Then she'd thought it was just the usual Lois chatter about nothing very relevant, but now the only reason she could think of for why it had been brought up, and why they would all lie to her had to be because they didn't trust her. And the only reason she could come up with for that, was because they either knew or suspected that she'd done something, or...she couldn't think of an or; nothing else came to mind.
Lois had clearly been told some of their suspicions but she hadn't been told everything, not if Smallville was hiding their relationship from her. There was no reason to do so on the surface. He could have told Lois, she could have laughed about it and the two could have discussed the differences between their two worlds. But no one had laughed when she and Lois dropped the bombshell that the woman didn't consider Clark Kent a best or even close friend. Both men had been upset by that, and so had Chloe and Martha.
Her husband she could understand, he was infatuated with the woman, so it would be natural for him to be sad when he realised that Lois didn't consider them close. But Smallville didn't have that excuse. He said that he was best friends with the Lois from his world, and if this wasn't his world, then how Lois regarded him shouldn't matter unduly, because she wasn't the Lois he knew. Yet along with her husband, he'd been crushed and Chloe and Martha had also looked despondent at the revelation, and the only reason that could be, was because this was his world, Lois had been his fiancée, and somehow, in some way when she'd changed their lives; she'd messed up.
She'd messed up big time. If she could control the situation there wouldn't be any problems, that's what she'd thought, but she hadn't taken everything into account. She'd taken a misstep, just like she had the last time, but this time the consequences were far bigger.
Clark occasionally dreamt, it wasn't often but every now and again but when he did, he spoke out loud, and when he did that, he always spoke to Lois. She hadn't used magic on Clark the day they got married. She'd gone to him, she'd asked him to elope but he'd been happy to do so, and she'd never coerced him to do it.
If her husband and his twin were one in the same person, and she was now positive they were, that could only mean that Smallville was Superman; and he must have told Clark, Chloe and Martha not only about his relationship with Lois, but about his life. The only thing she could do now was to keep hoping that Clark didn't remember his dreams. He'd never spoken to her about them, but considering she'd made it clear that she didn't want him to do anything with his powers, he wouldn't have felt comfortable talking to her if he'd dreamt about being Superman. And she knew that he had, because she'd heard him; but he'd never told her because he knew that she wouldn't have supported him.
She couldn't, she'd only ever had two real fears; one was that if Clark used his powers and became Superman he'd remember his former life. The other was Lois; she'd always dreaded Lois remembering her love for Clark and trying to take him away from her, she'd been even more scared of that when her husband fell victim to the woman's charms once again.
When she'd come that day as her older self, she'd been open and frank telling her younger self all about her life, and as promised she'd done a spell so that the memories of her former life trickled through as the years passed. So she knew that when she returned to her own time after saying goodbye to her younger self, she hadn't just gone home and sat around waiting for her life to change.
She remembered arriving back in her kitchen, looking around and feeling so happy that she'd spoken to her younger self, so relieved that her life was going to change for the better. Clark and she would be together again, and this time she wouldn't mess up. She would do everything in her power to make him happy, to make sure that he knew how much she loved him. Soon she'd be married to Clark, her marriage to Lex would never happen and this time when she said her vows, she'd mean them with every bit of her heart. She felt almost giddy with joy, wanting to laugh and shout but knowing that her time was limited, had all but raced up the stairs, taken a quick shower and sped back down to the kitchen.
As she'd told younger Lana, right now there were three timelines going at once, and they all needed to be brought back into alignment. Younger Lana was taking care of the first part by going to Clark and eloping with him, she had to wake Lois up in 2007 because her younger self didn't know how to do it, and once those two things happened, her current timeline would disappear and all would be the way it should. She didn't technically have to wake Lois up, it wouldn't make any difference to her one way or the other if the woman was gone for good, but she'd promised her younger self that she'd do it and really had no desire to go back on her word. After all, she wanted Lois to see just how happy Clark was going to be with her, and that was impossible if the woman was still unconscious, but maybe taking out a little insurance first wouldn't hurt.
Yes, she'd always believed deep in her heart that Clark didn't really love Lois, he tried to, he wanted to, but he didn't. However, there had never been a doubt in her mind that Lois loved Clark; even if it was only with half a heart, she loved him. And if the woman remembered that, she could once again be a threat to her happiness. Lois was ruthless, if she ever remembered that she had been engaged to Clark, she wouldn't hesitate to try and steal him from her again. More than likely the woman would try to seduce him away, just as she'd done once already.
She'd cautioned her younger self not to let Clark become Superman; it was something that was so innate in him, so much a part of him that he would surely remember everything if he did that. Changing their lives was a huge step, and one that had a number of risks attached; Clark and Lois were the biggest factors in causing the risks, not the only; but the biggest. Her younger self would take care of the Superman part, but as for Lois there was really only one thing that could be done; one that would hopefully seal the deal and make everything air tight. Lois had to forget ever loving Clark, had to forget that she'd ever had romantic feelings for him at all, and the only one way to ensure that was by magic.
As Clark would never become Superman, Lois wouldn't even remember that side of him, so that was covered; but she had to ensure that when she did the spell, that she did it right. This wasn't a simple forget spell that she had to do, love was one of the hardest emotions to control; and the one most people tended to cling to when they lost everything else. But it was the only safeguard that she could put in place to keep Lois from ever becoming a threat. She might never be one, and when Clark and she were safely wed, Lois would be nothing to him because their lives would be changed, but it didn't hurt to be sure.
She'd raced back up the stairs, opened her trunk, pulled out everything she had, dumped all the vials and boxes on the bed, and sorted through them. Once she had what was required, she took it all back to the kitchen, and automatically reached for her book. However, almost immediately she remembered that she didn't have it, she'd left it behind with her younger self, thinking that she wouldn't need it any longer since her life was going to be changed.
She blew out a deep breath, closed her eyes, and concentrated. She could do this, she didn't need the book. She knew how to do a forget spell by heart, she knew how to do a love spell. All she had to do was merge the two, and change the love spell into an anti one; that was all.
Once she was sure of what had to be done, she quickly mixed the ingredients together, took one last deep breath, performed the spell and had no sooner finished, then she reversed the one keeping Lois unconscious, and when she was finished, she let her shoulders relax. She couldn't do anything more, the only thing she had left to do was the spell that would allow her memories to be transferred to younger Lana. She was determined that her younger self get her memories, she didn't want to make the same mistakes again and again, but neither did she want her to get the memories in one huge rush. She would get them as she got older, she would get them right up to this point in time.
She picked up her purse, took out the copy of the spell she'd written, followed the directions carefully for what was required, then performed the spell, and after she was finished she'd retreated upstairs and lay down. Although she wasn't afraid knowing that her life was going to cease in this timeline, she preferred to be asleep when it happened. She might or might not even notice anything happening, but it was still kind of spooky, and she much preferred the option of not being conscious at the time. Her life had not turned out the way she'd expected it to, it had been full of heartache and disappointment, she wanted to forget about it, wanted to leave it all behind and she had.
But now it had all come home to roost. She could reverse this spell but she didn't want to. She didn't want to become the woman she had been, the one who'd loved Clark but had lost him through her own foolishness. She didn't want to become the woman whose eyes had been full of sorrow the day they'd met at Crater Lake, and she didn't want to be the woman that Clark had said goodbye to.
The only thing she could do to retain that which was hers, was to find a way to correct whatever mistake she'd made, but without reversing the original spell. She had to find a way to merge the two men back together, and right now she had no idea how to do that. Lois wasn't a worry, she didn't know about her prior relationship with Clark, or Smallville, and as she clearly wasn't interested in him romantically, the spell she'd used that day had worked. No matter how jealous she was of the woman, she knew that Lois didn't love her husband.
But Lois could be a worry in another way, whether she remembered loving Clark once upon a time or not, Smallville wouldn't be content allowing her to live in ignorance for long. Years ago she'd believed that Clark hadn't really loved Lois, not really, and maybe her husband was only infatuated with the woman, after all he had no memories of his former life, but Smallville had only been with Lois yesterday, and she knew how stubborn her husband could be, which meant that his twin was the same way. Smallville wouldn't stand back and let Lois marry Oliver, not without fighting for her; the photo had told her that. Whenever her husband looked at Lois he'd tried to hide how he felt, and right now his twin was doing the same thing. However, she didn't believe that Smallville would be willing to stand in the background for long.
She'd always known that if Clark ever found out what she'd done, that he'd leave her. He hated deception, and wouldn't appreciate that she'd only done it from desperation. It wouldn't matter that she'd only tried to bring back the happiness that had been stolen from them. He'd be angry and hurt, and wouldn't look on any heartfelt plea she made with favour.
Tomorrow morning after Clark left for the farm she'd call the office, and beg off work with the excuse that she wasn't feeling well. Afterwards she could take her time, think everything through carefully and decide which problem she had to tackle first; right now she could see a multitude of them.
She had to merge the men back into one and she had to ensure that Clark never found out what she did. She could only hope that no one knew Smallville didn't have a world to go back to, and she had to find a way to get Lois married to Oliver quick smart.
Oh hell, she couldn't take her time, she was due at the farm by lunch time, and now she had another problem; time was going to be her enemy. If she'd only found the wallet earlier, if only she'd told Clark that she wasn't sure when she would join them, she could have taken her time and spent the whole day looking for a solution, but she no longer had that luxury. She'd take the morning, and if Clark called her, she'd just tell him that after he'd left for the farm she'd felt unwell. If necessary she'd tell him that she was going to stay in bed rather than joining them all, but she didn't want to do that either. Now that she knew the truth, she had to stay vigilant, and the only way to do that, was to be where everyone else was.
She wanted to start tonight but couldn't. Not only was Clark at home but she needed to think about it with a clear head, and at the moment she was still feeling shaky and vulnerable. It would have to wait until tomorrow, no matter how much it chafed. Picking up her empty cup, she walked out of the spare room into the lounge room, and found Clark still watching TV.
She brushed a hand over his shoulder, felt him tense and hid the hurt she felt at his reaction to her touch "I'm going to bed ok."
He turned and smiled "I'll be along later; I'm not tired just yet." As she reached for his cup, he shook his head, and took hers from her hand "Don't worry about washing up, I'll take care of it, ok?"
"Ok, thanks." She bent down, brushed his lips with hers then smiled "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." He returned quietly and turned back to the screen.
She took one step away, shook her head, leant down, tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned his head, pressed her lips firmly against his, then pulled back to look into his eyes, ignoring the swirling emotion she could see in their depths "I love you Clark."
He nodded and his lips lifted in a faint smile "I know Lana."
She smiled once again then turned and left the room, walked into the bedroom and slipped under the covers, to run her hand over his side. He hadn't responded, when she'd kissed him he hadn't responded at all. His mouth hadn't opened even a little, he hadn't in anyway tried to deepen the kiss and closing her eyes, she turned over and prayed that somehow, in some way, tomorrow she could find a way to fix whatever she'd done wrong and try to get her life back; the one she'd already fought so hard for.
oOo
Clark pretended absorption in the TV program the same way he'd been doing since sitting down. He'd kept an ear on Lana's pulse the whole time they'd been home but had detected nothing unusual. Once or twice it had risen but when he checked, saw that the pictures she was looking at weren't conductive to calm. He'd checked on her a number of times, and each time found her idly flipping through one or another of her art books, obviously trying to find inspiration on what to paint. However, she didn't look like she was even paying attention to the pictures she was looking at.
Yeah he was suspicious, but he was used to her being both withdrawn and possessive every time he saw Lois. When she'd kissed him the second time it had been unexpected, but he hadn't been startled. He'd gotten used to the way she acted whenever they saw Lois, and was grateful she didn't try to instigate anything more than a kiss. She must have felt his lack of response, and would hopefully put it down to being caught by surprise. When she'd run the tip of her tongue along the seam of his lips, he'd firmly kept his lips closed until she lifted her mouth from his.
He kept his ear steadily on her pulse, and once he was sure that she was sleeping deeply, turned around and checked to find her lying on her side of her bed fast asleep, and let out the deep sigh that he'd been holding.
This was what he'd dreaded all day, coming home and spending time with her, so when she'd told him that she wanted to work on her painting, he'd felt nothing but relief that she hadn't wanted to talk about either Lois or Smallville. He knew that she'd believed them earlier, but didn't feel it was time to relax completely.
How could he, he'd learnt enough this day to make his blood pressure shoot through the roof, and it was all courtesy of his wife. Scrubbing his hands hard over his face, he sighed once again. Lois actually thought that Lana was one of his best friends, he wanted to laugh at that, and would have, if it hadn't been so damned farcical.
Even at the height of his enthrallment with Lana, she'd never been his friend. He'd said that she was, he'd insisted that she was, but she never had been. His dreams had clearly told him that he and Lois had been best friends, not just lovers, but he and Lana had skipped the friendship stage altogether, and had gone straight for the romance. Years ago they'd hardly ever talked about something that wasn't related to them or their relationship, so it was no wonder they now struggled to find anything to say to each other.
He and Lois talked about everything under the sun; they'd done so years ago before, they'd done so after he came back and after they got involved they talked about their relationship at different times, depending on the situation. However, it had never been the only thing on their minds, nor had it ever dominated their conversations to the exclusion of everything else.
And now thanks to his loving wife, he no longer had a life that could be called his own, he no longer had a fiancé, and he was also a best friend short. Turning back around, he looked into the bedroom again, shook his head then turned back to the TV.
He didn't want to know if Lana was responsible, he wanted to know how to fix things, but he wasn't sure that he wanted his suspicions of her culpability confirmed. Regardless of what his twin and mom had said, he still believed that Lana had known that he was engaged to Lois in the future the day she came to him. He still believed that she was aware right now of what her older self had done, but he didn't want to know. At the moment he was able to push his anger down deep and treat her with civility, but if he found out that she had known all along, he wasn't sure that he could continue to mask his fury.
If he found out for certain that she had known, but had continued to let him live in misery, had held onto him knowing that he loved Lois, and worse had kept her tied to him even though she was the one who had separated him from Lois in the first place, he honestly wasn't sure if he'd be able to hold back all the pain he'd been feeling for years, nor the anger and heartache he'd felt since learning that his life had been toyed with and stolen by her.
Scrubbing his hands over his face once again, he sighed and settled more comfortably into the cushions. He had to sleep beside her, and he would go to bed when he was ready, but right now he felt far from that.
oOo
The four trooped back into the house and had no sooner stepped inside the kitchen then Chloe turned to her cousin with lifted brows and smirked. Seeing the look on Chloe's face; Martha and Smallville waited in anticipation.
Not knowing what was coming but having a pretty good idea, Lois pretended not to notice and turned to Martha with a smile, quickly looked at Smallville from the corner of her eye but finding both of them smiling at Chloe; she quickly opened her mouth to make an observation, but was beaten to the punch by her cousin.
"Bewitched Lo; that was the best you could come up with?" Chloe asked casually, leaning back against the sink.
She cleared her throat "What?"
"Don't try and play innocent because you just can't pull it off." Smallville interposed, leaning back against the sink beside Chloe, and crossing his arms.
She cleared her throat again "I don't know what you're talking about." She felt the heat sting her cheeks and turned to Martha for help, but at the twinkle in the older woman's eye, she looked down at the kitchen island and began to run a finger back and forth absently over the bench top, pretending to find the wood grain absolutely fascinating.
"I think they're talking about how you tried to find out if Lana was a witch or not." Martha put in with a light chuckle.
She bent down and looked harder at the bench top, missing the looks of amusement flying between the three "I was just making conversation."
"Uh huh, so what were you about to ask when I stopped you?" Smallville asked politely. When she stood up straight, and turned to face him, she found his lips were twitching and his brows lifted in polite enquiry.
She coughed lightly, and replied shamefaced "I was going to ask what everyone would prefer to be; a genie or a witch."
He chuckled and nodded "I had a feeling."
She smiled at them all abashed, felt the pink on her cheeks turn hot and surrendered "Ok, so I didn't exactly um...ok, so I pretty much sucked at trying to inconspicuously make Lana spill the truth..." They all nodded rapidly, she pouted "Don't worry I'm not going to say anything more, I've decided that just helping you get back home is how I can be more useful."
"I appreciate it." Smallville replied and let out the grin that he'd valiantly been suppressing.
Chloe and Martha looked at each other and began to chuckle, and shaking their heads, the three began to clear the table of cups, spoons and coffee pot for washing. Figuring that she could help out too, Lois reached up, pulled the ribbon from one of the baskets, un-wrapped the cellophane and began to pull the items out one at a time.
Chloe turned around, saw what her cousin was doing, tapped Smallville and Martha on the shoulders, gestured with her head, and all three turned to watch as Lois lifted one item from the basket, wrinkled her nose, put it back into the basket, took out another, smiled and set it on the bench next to herself. They all looked at each other with mile wide grins, looked at Lois once again, and unable to hold it in any longer, Smallville huffed out a laugh.
Hearing the amused snort, Lois' head whipped up to find three pairs of eyes looking at her with interest. "I'm helping."
"Helping yourself more like." Chloe replied straight faced.
"No, I'm helping the guys and Lana, if I don't open this up no-one will take what they particularly want." Her hand inched closer to a particular box sitting on the bench top, and knocking it casually aside, she smiled "Now Smallville come over here, take a seat and let's see what you want."
They all took seats around the island, and just to see what she'd do, he reached around her, picked up the box she'd pushed to the side, and smiled "Well I really love these." He turned to show his mom and Chloe, both ladies nodded and bit their lips, and turning back to Lois, he saw the avaricious glint in her eye, that the chocolate covered roast almonds, was the one thing that no one but she was getting their hands on.
Lois frowned lightly, and shook her head "I don't know how those got in there, I've had them before, the chocolate tastes cheap, and the whole brand is really inferior; you won't like them." With a soft sigh, she took the box from his hand casually, and placed it to her far side once again, then swept her hand towards the basket and the other goodies lying on the bench top "But there's heaps of other stuff, so I'm sure you'll find something that you like."
If Lois wasn't such a bad actress, and if he didn't know that she loved that brand of chocolate almonds, he still wouldn't have believed her.
Nodding seriously and ignoring the choked gurgle coming from both his mom and Chloe, he picked through the basket, took out the box of Lindt chocolate, swept his eyes to the side, saw Lois' tongue swipe over her lips at the item in his hand, and stretching around her, picked up the box of almonds once again "I don't mind cheap chocolate, and the Lindt will make a nice balance to it, so I'll just take these; Clark and Lana can have the rest."
She didn't look at him, her eyes moved back and forth over both items in his hands, and reaching up, she tried to take them from him. Her frown grew deeper when he didn't let go; and when she looked at him, saw a smile of appreciation on his face.
"Thanks Lo, I really love these." He didn't know how in hell he was managing to keep his composure. Lois didn't even seem to realise that she was still trying to tug the items out of his hands.
She nodded and absently tugged once again "You shouldn't eat this much chocolate by yourself, you'll get fat."
He snorted, the two ladies giggled.
"I've never had to worry about my weight, but thanks for being concerned." And after gently but firmly removing the items from her grasp, he placed them down on the bench, on the far side away from Lois.
Her brow wrinkled deeper "If you don't get fat, you'll get pimples; lots of them."
"I've never had to worry about them either." He replied straight-faced and turning to his mom with a look of unholy glee, informed her seriously "You'd better not eat yours though mom, Lois thinks you'll get fat...or pimples."
Ignoring Lois' shocked gasp, Martha nodded gravely "Well, why don't you have the ones that are in my basket too honey..."
Lois gurgled in outrage and cut in ruthlessly "No!" When they all turned to her with polite expressions of interest, she frowned unhappily "I'm hurt that you're trying to give my present away Martha, you should keep all the stuff in your basket for yourself. Smallville has more than enough; more than..." she replied shooting him a look then turning back to the elder Kent "I'll help you un-wrap your basket tomorrow when he's not around."
Hearing the almost despairing tone in Lois' voice that Smallville was going to get all the yummy treats that she'd earmarked for herself, the three could no longer hold it in and began to scream with laughter.
Once the laughter died down, he opened the box of almonds, and offered them around "You probably don't want any Lo, considering they taste cheap and all."
She shook her head "I'll give them another try, maybe the batch I had was dodgy."
Nodding he tipped one in her hand, and had to bite his cheek to stop the laughter when she simply kept her hand held out for more. Giving in, he tipped another into her hand, ignoring her mutter of 'scrooge' and while they all enjoyed the treat, small talk was exchanged.
After yawning for the third time, Lois hopped off the stool, "I thought my nap earlier would have kept me awake, but I'm still sleepy, so I'll see you all in the morning, ok?"
"You don't want some supper dear?"
She declined amidst another yawn and after giving everyone sleepy goodnights, casually picked up the box of chocolate almonds and turned away, hoping to make it up the stairs.
The three watched as Lois coolly palmed the box of chocolates, shared one incredulous laughter filled smirk, and after winking at the women Smallville all but sang out "Lois."
Swearing silently under her breath, she swung around and looked at him innocently.
He pointed to the hand she kept behind her back and smiled gently "I think you've got my chocolate almonds in your hand."
"I was just...I thought." At the twitching lips of all three, she sighed, walked back and handed them over "I thought the box was empty and was going to throw it away for you."
"Thanks, but I can do that." He shook the box gently, heard the almonds rattle around and saw the disappointed pout on her face "There's still a few left, so we'll finish them up before going to bed, right ladies?" He turned to his mom and Chloe, they both nodded but were unable to speak without laughing, so only replied with a "Mmmm" and sighing one last time Lois gave up, and with a final wave, retreated up the stairs.
Once they were sure the coast was clear, the three shared a quiet chuckle and when their laughter died down, the two women looked at him "Other than Lois' antics; which is normal and the only thing bearable about this whole situation, how are you holding up?" Chloe asked quietly.
He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged "Not too good if you want the truth, it's hard being around Lo and not treating her the way I normally would, y'know?" The ladies gave him sympathetic smiles, and he shrugged once again "I just keep reminding myself that we're going to figure this out soon, and I'll have my fiancé back."
"You will Clark." Martha said softly, reaching over to pick up his hand "You will honey, Chloe and I aren't going to give up until this is solved, I promise you that."
Hearing the resolution in his mom's voice, seeing the look of determination on his friends face, he nodded "Thanks, I know that this is only the first day that we know the truth, and last night we had no idea, but I don't think I could take this for long."
"You won't Smallville, before you arrived we had no idea that anything was wrong at all. We knew that Clark was unhappy but we didn't know that he'd been dreaming about the life that had been taken from him. We didn't know that his life had been messed with at all, and we didn't know that Lois was also dreaming about your life together. The fact is we didn't know squat; but now that we do, we're going to fix it because I refused to let the people I love suffer, for one person's selfishness." Chloe's voice was soft but heated "I don't care that Lana loves Clark, before you told us what she did, I felt sorry for her, but I no longer do. If she's unhappy then she's brought this on herself. Whether she knows now about what her other-self did or not makes no difference, because she was her other-self when she decided to play god with your life."
"Exactly." Martha stated just as fiercely, when the two turned to her in surprise she nodded "I don't take kindly to anyone hurting my son for their own selfish reasons, and now that I know Clark has been hurting for years, and I didn't even realise the extent of his pain, knowing that you're hurting for all that you've lost, just makes me all the more determined to put a stop to it."
He stood up and wrapped his arms around the two women, hugging them from behind "With you two in our corner, Lois, Clark and I can't lose."
"Not a chance." Chloe replied and exchanging looks of resolve, the three nodded firmly to each other, and enjoyed a nice light supper.
"I'm sorry sweetie, but I think after all the revelations of the day I'm feeling kind of washed out, so I'm going to bed ok?" He nodded, told her not to worry about the cups and plates, and after wishing them goodnight Martha retreated up the stairs. Once the dishes were washed and put away, Chloe also headed up the stairs, and shortly afterwards the house was silent as all slept.