Chapter 21: The Onslaught

We were here. We had made it.

Edward and I were now sitting in Dr. Brooks' office, waiting for him to give us the results. He had done a cat scan of my head, looking at the damage that was still there, and how it healed, and what to classify my injury since the day I found out I lost my memory I didn't want to know. I just wanted to leave. However, today, I needed to know. If I didn't know how bad the damage was, or how much memory I could gain, then there would be no hope.

I was practically bouncing in the chair, biting my lip.

"Jeez, Bella, calm down," Edward mumbled for the hundredth time.

Edward was sitting right next to me in one of the two chairs in front of Dr. Brooks' large desk. My parents were out in the waiting room, and they were going to come in after Edward and I found out what was going on, and what could be done to treat whatever degree of injury I had.

"I can't 'calm down'," I hissed, staring at the green colored walls. The green reminded me of mint, or maybe being sick. Kind of a bad choice of color for a place where you were trying to get better.

"Well, try," Edward said simply.

I did as he instructed. I took deep breaths, trying to stop my jittering movements. It didn't work. There was no way for me to calm down.

When Dr. Brooks came in with my cat scan results, they would determine how the rest of my life worked out. It would determine how I would feel about Edward and I being together. Edward said he knew how it felt to have someone taken away from him. From the little, clouded memory I had, I knew he was talking about when he turned himself in, and we were separated. Was that pain still present in me before? Would this change how I felt about everything? Was I mad at Edward, and would this change how I felt about him now?

The truth was, life was complicated. Nothing could ever go perfectly right for awhile, and even if it didn't, eventually one little thing would ruin it. Like when I was little, and for my sixth birthday my mom bought me a pair of shiny, black Mary Jane shoes. I was so happy, and I was keeping them perfectly clean for so long, but then, it was raining, and I stepped in a giant puddle of mud.

Not even stupid shoes could stay perfect, so how could this? Right now, to me, everything I had with Edward was slightly perfect - the scale of our life was almost even. Then, if I could be fixed, that would add to the perfect side of the scale, and the good would outweigh the bad for once in my life.

So this was why I couldn't calm down.

Dr. Brooks came in then, holding a big, manila envelope. He smiled kindly at us, not at all perturbed that he basically held my future in his hands. I guess he was just used to doing this. He did do it for a living, after all.

"Hello, Bella, Edward," he greeted us, still smiling.

Edward nodded to him.

"So?" I persisted, sitting forward in my seat. The plastic on the hard cushions of the chair made a loud crackling sound, but I couldn't find the will to care at this point. I needed to know.

"What's wrong with me? Can I get better?" I rambled earnestly.

Dr. Brooks laughed at my intense expression, opening up the folder. He pulled his glasses that were hanging around his neck up to his eyes, then rested them on the bridge of his nose. He scanned the page, as if he already didn't know what it said.

"To calm your nerves, Bella," Dr. Brooks began, "there are ways to get your memories back."

I smiled hugely, my cheeks nearly cracking.

He cleared his throat, clipping an x-ray of my skull, and then one of my brain right next to it onto a board. He then turned on a light, illuminating the x-rays.

"When you…fell, your temporal lobe was damaged," he said, his fingers tracing over the x-ray of my brain. "You obviously know that this fall caused you to have amnesia," he continued. He turned to look at me, waiting for an answer.

I nodded.

"Yes, well, the more accurate term would be retrograde amnesia. Retrograde amnesia means that you lost memories prior to the accident - memories that were recent. It may seem as a dream after the accident, but it wasn't. It was very real."

Edward tightened his grip on my hand.

"Now, these memories could range from about a month," he explained. "So that is why you lost all of those memories." He turned the lights back on, and unclipped the x-rays from the board. "Victims of retrograde amnesia may feel embarrassed or stressed that they no longer remember key people and significant events. Typically the victim may be overwhelmed by the rush of people who seek to reacquaint themselves. It is important to let the victim go at their own pace, so they are not overly stressed." He sounded so bored, as if he had said these words too many times, and knew them word by word. The town wasn't that big. "Now, to get your memories back, Bella, it will take a lot of work. You must visit key places, do similar thing-"

"Oh, I know! I've been getting a few memories back," I said excitedly. "I got them from seeing similar images of what happened before the accident."

He looked confused. "Then why are you here?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I…thought maybe there was a surgery I could take, or-"

He laughed, interrupting me.

"No, Bella. There are no surgeries. You are just going to have to keep doing what you're doing. And if the memories come back, then good for you." He stood from his desk, grabbing the papers, then leaving the room. The shutting of the door broke my heart.

It was silent, tears streaming down my face.

There was nothing to jog my memory back faster. We had to "just keep doing what we were doing". How the hell was that supposed to help us?! That would take forever! Why did he even tell us to come down if he knew very well what my situation was now?! He just wasted so much of my time, and practically stomped on the only hope I had left for a full recovery.

Edward POV

It was silent. Bella just sat there, staring straight forward at the puke green walls. I could see the glisten of tears on her cheeks, but she didn't move or blink.

Awkward…

"Bella?" I whispered, sitting up in my chair.

No response.

That doctor had been such a jerk! Bella's dad told him everything that had happened, and yet he told us to come so he could give us some more "help". Help my ass!

I stood from the chair, my fists clenched.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," I said.

She didn't move or nod, or even acknowledge that I was in the room still.

"Not that you're going anywhere…" I mumbled, turning to the door.

I left the room, going down the halls. I stopped a nurse in her tracks, towering over her. She looked frightened of me, her mud brown eyes going wide as she slowly tilted her head up to look at me.

"Where did Dr. Brooks go?" I asked sharply.

Her hand shook as she pointed to the cafeteria down the hall.

I shoved her out of my way, going into the cafeteria. I was there in no time with my long strides, and I scanned the room. It was hard to even distinguish any differences between all the doctors sitting in here eating. They all wore a teal colored doctor uniform, and all had their hair back in either ponytails, or were cropped short.

I finally found Dr. Brooks from the crowd of doctors and nurses and trudged over to him, anger swelling up inside of me. I pulled him from the salad stand he was currently standing at, and smacked his back against the grey wall. He dropped his lunch tray, his faded blue eyes wide with terror as I angrily glared at him, my fists around his thin uniform shirt.

"Edward?!" he shouted, scared shitless. "W-what are you doing?"

"I'm here to knock some sense in you. Don't worry, you'll know how to fix yourself up, Doc." I pulled my fist back, prepared to punch him.

"Wait!" he shouted, his hands in front of his face.

I still held my fist in the air, but I waited for him to speak.

"Why are you doing this? What did I do?!" he blubbered.

What a fucking baby.

I snorted, then put my face closer to his, my eyes in slits.

"What did you do?" I repeated sarcastically. "I'll tell you what you fucking did! You got Bella's hopes up, telling her to come down here, to laugh in her face and make her look stupid, and basically tell her stuff that she already knew!" I yelled.

He winced, looking like he was about to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I-it won't happen again."

I grinned. "You bet it won't happen again!" I slammed my fist against his nose, and he slumped against the wall, already unconscious.

What a loser, I mentally laughed.

Then I realized, I had done this in a room full of other doctors.

I slowly turned away from Dr. Brooks' unconscious body, turning to the silent crowd of bystanders.

Every other doctor or nurse in the room was perfectly still, lunch trays in hand. Some were paused in the middle of an action. One nurse had one foot half in the air, her mouth open. Another guy had a bottle of lemonade right by his mouth, but stopped once he saw what I just did to a fellow doctor.

"What?" I sneered.

They all cringed.

"Why don't you take a picture, it will last longer!" I yelled, my voice echoing throughout the ominous lunchroom.

One nurse ran from the room, shouting something I couldn't hear. Two seconds later, two security guards - that were huge - came in.

Oh shit, I thought to myself in panic.

They looked at Dr. Brooks' unconscious body on the ground, their eyes widening. Then they returned their hard gazes back up to me.

"Did you do this?" one asked in an extremely deep voice.

I hesitated, pursing my lips.

Would I go to jail? Oh well, that idiot deserved it.

"Uh…yeah, maybe," I told them, scratching the back of my neck nervously.

The two men looked at each other, nodded, then grabbed each of my arms in two of theirs.

"Hey!" I shouted.

They dragged me down the halls, and as I was basically being carried out of the building, I caught a glimpse of Bella's parents. This would be a nice thing to explain to them. What was I supposed to say? Should I have said, "Oh, I just punched a doctor in the face and he blacked out. No big deal."

No, I definitely could not say that.

The two security guards threw me out of the hospital. I landed on the sidewalk on my back with an audible thud. I scraped my hands against the sidewalk, and my knuckles were bleeding now from punching Dr. Brooks in the face.

This day just got better and better.

"And we better not catch you back in here," the man with almost black eyes warned.

They both turned, going back through the automatic doors, back into the hospital. As their figures disappeared behind the door, it opened again, revealing Bella and her parents.

I groaned, standing up off the dirty sidewalk.

Bella's dad was smiling in amusement, shaking his head at me. Bella's mom just rolled her eyes, and Bella looked appalled, forgetting her misery for a second to take in me after being kicked out of the hospital.

She ran over to me, looking at my hands that were dripping with blood.

"What happened?" she gasped, flipping my left hand over to see the bleeding knuckles as well.

"My fist accidentally crashed into Dr. Brooks' face…" I mumbled, watching the ruby red blood ooze slowly from the cuts.

She looked up at me, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips.

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

I snorted. "Because I am personally obligated to kick the ass of anyone who hurts you in any way," I said in a tone that showed that this should have been obvious.

She shook her head in disapproval, but I could see the smile on her lips, full on now.

"Got yourself kicked out, Edward?" Charlie asked, smiling still.

I nodded.

He slapped me on the back. "Good for you."

I was a little taken aback at how much he seemed to not care about that. He probably heard about how much of a jerk the doctor was, and didn't care that I destroyed his face. I know I didn't.

"Well let's get out of here," Renee sighed. "I want to go home."

Bella held my hand, then I hissed as the warmness from her hand stung the scratches on my palms. She pulled back instantly, biting her lip as she took in the expression on my face. My nose was wrinkled as I clenched and unclenched my hand.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

I could see the blush painting her cheeks, but I didn't reply. I just smirked as we got into the car back to Bella's house.

When we got back to Bella's, she yanked me straight up to her room by my wrist this time. As we were ascending the stairs, I could see Renee's expression of concern. But, we were sort of on a truce basis right now, so she didn't comment on Bella and I being alone in her room together.

Bella yanked me into the room, then shut the door quickly. She looked at my hands, still dripping with blood from my knuckles and palms. She shook her head.

"Edward, why are you always getting into trouble?" she whispered, pulling me onto her bed with her.

I shrugged. "I guess I'm trouble."

She grimaced, then stood up from the bed. She left the room, and I just sat there, my mouth in an O.

Was she mad that I did that? Why did she just leave without giving any explanation? However my worries stopped once she returned with a wet cloth and a bunch of other bottles of stuff. I didn't know why she needed this stuff, so I quirked an eyebrow at her as she sat down next to me, wiping the wet cloth against the skin of my arms and hands where the blood had dripped onto.

"I'm fixing you up," she said, her eyes trained on the skin she was cleaning.

My brows furrowed as she poured a little of something onto the other side of the wet cloth, then rubbed it on my palm. I hissed, pulling my hand away. My hand stung, worse than from when Bella had held it, but like there was fire there.

"What the hell is that?!" I hissed, rubbing my aching palm.

She held up a bottle that said: Alcohol on it.

"Why do you need that? It hurts like hell!"

"Do you want to get an infection?" she asked, tilting her head to the side as the deadly rag neared closer to my stinging wound.

I backed away on the bed, far away from her hand holding that stupid cloth.

"Yes. I do."

She rolled her eyes, inching closer to me.

I backed away, my back hitting the headboard.

She crawled closer, pushing my shoulders back down when I tried to escape again.

"Edward, you're being such a baby," she said, her eyes in slits.

I squirmed under her arms, not really fighting because I didn't want to accidentally make her fall off the bed.

"But…it hurts," I said like a baby.

What a man, I thought to myself.

"You've had worse-" She stopped. Her eyes looked somewhere, but didn't focus on anything. Her mouth was in a little O, and the hand holding the rag fell from my shoulder as a big smile occupied her lips.

I waved my bloody hand in front of her face.

"Um, earth to Bella," I said, my brow furrowed in confusion.

Her big brown eyes met with mine again, and she smiled even bigger.

"You've had worse!" Bella said excitedly.

I stared at her like she had three heads.

"Thanks for pointing that out. It's not a secret that I had a shitty childhood," I said, a little peeved.

She smacked my shoulder. "No, you idiot! I remember!" she exclaimed.

My eyes widened in realization.

"I remember…a lot of things," she muttered. She got the crease that I loved in-between her eyebrows, playing with the rag in her hands as she stared down.

The smell of the disgusting alcohol swam up my nose, making my head ache. I held my breath, staring at Bella uneasily.

She was staring down, the rag hanging limply in her hand.

"He…he hurt you a lot, didn't he?" she whispered shakily.

I pressed my lips together, staring at her intensely.

She stared back, her expression pained.

I finally nodded.

I could see tears glistening in her eyes as she moved her gaze from my face and to her lap where her hands were resting lifelessly on her thighs.

"But he hurt you a lot, too," I whispered. "And I protected you from him…mostly."

"So you let yourself get hurt…to keep me safe?" she checked, her voice tight. She looked back up at me, her eyes blank but filled to the brim with glistening tears.

I nodded hesitantly, prepared for the anger I was sure to get for risking my life for hers. Selfless Bella.

But, what she did surprised me. She yanked my shoulders to her, and crushed my body to hers.

My eyes widened, and I hesitantly wrapped my arms under her arms. I stuffed my face into her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her wavy brown hair.

"Thank you," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"For what?" I mumbled into her hair.

She pulled back, analyzing me like I was a fish in a tank.

"You don't see how amazing you are, do you, Edward?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "There's nothing really to me. I'm just a grubby guy with a dark past." I grimaced.

She put her hands on either side of my face. Her eyes were alight with amazement.

"There's so much more to you than that," she whispered with a conviction I didn't think she was capable of.

I diverted my eyes. I was for once, the embarrassed one.

"Okay…" I murmured. "Like what?" I looked back up at her skeptically.

"Well," she sighed, pulling back to look me up and down, "on the outside, you look like a real tough guy. But on the inside, you're really sensitive. I think the only reason you have that tough exterior is…" She nodded, smiling slightly. "Because of your past."

"You remember?" I asked.

She nodded. "You are tough, Edward, but you're also very sweet."

"Do you only think that because of my reading choices?" I said, trying to lighten the mood.

She shook her head, a small smile playing at her lips. She ignored my words, though, continuing on with her little speech.

"You are probably one of the most amazing people I have ever met." She shrugged. "I guess that's why I love you so much." She smiled, her eyes shining with all her love. "I've never met anyone like you."

I pulled her into my lap, ignoring the stinging protest of my palms.

"I've never met anyone like you, either," I murmured into her hair. "You saved me from a horrible life."

She wrapped her legs around my waist, resting her hands on my shoulders. Then, she lightly brushed her warm lips against mine, making a shiver roll throughout my body.

"I'll always love you," she whispered breathily, her breath flowing deliciously into my open mouth.

I licked my lips, shutting my eyes.

"And I'll always fucking love you," I replied.

I could feel her smile against my lips. Then, she yanked my lips to hers, her hands clasped tightly around the back of my neck.

Bella POV

It was the same man. The same man from the nightmare. I was running through trees, loping in and out of them quickly. It was cold, the sky pitch black, the only little amount of light from the full moon up in the center of the trees.

As I ran farther and farther, I could hear the sound of screams and…gun shots.

I stopped running, my dirty sneakers digging into the ground from the abrupt halt. The dirt clumped up at the tips of my shoes, little rocks and pieces of grass unearthing from the ground.

"Don't come back!" Edward's familiar voice shouted. "Keep running, Bella!"

Tears were clouding my vision, and I slowly turned towards the way I had just been. The light from the man's house was glowing brightly, like a raging fire, deep within the pits of Hell.

I had to go back. I couldn't leave Edward there to die.

I took a deep breath, then sprinted back. My legs were strong, the muscles burning nicely in them. My whole body was on fire, but it was a pleasant fire. I breathed in and out easily, hopping over fallen logs and big rocks resting on the mossy ground.

I stopped outside the man's house. The only sound was of crashes and Edward's grunts. I stood at the foot of the two steps leading into his house. My eyes were locked on the doorway that was wide open, the light shining out of it. It burned my skin like a blazing fire, and I took in a shuddering breath before stepping onto the first step.

"Go back!"

I took on another step.

"Yes, come, Bella," the man urged.

"No!" Edward roared.

I was engulfed in the light. It burned my skin. The fire of light danced on every inch of my skin, making my throat shrivel, and breathing impossible. I fell to the floor, wrapped in a ball. I let the fire engulf me, the sounds of everyone's words surrounding me.

"You're coming with me now," the man - who I now knew as James - said.

"If I could, I'd get you out of here," Edward's distant voice whispered.

"The perfect pair…" Edward's voice murmured.

"I want you to be happy."

Edward's voice filled my mind. Every word he said, and everything we did. The memories flooded my mind. My brain boiled from all the thoughts and words and knowledge. I couldn't concentrate on it all.

"That's not a fucking life!" Edward shouted.

His voice rang through my ears, and I shot up.

My breathing was stuttering as I looked around the dark room. I patted the left side of the bed and still felt Edward right next to me. However, that didn't comfort me. I had to go. Where? I had no idea.

I slowly slid from the bed, tiptoeing to the door. I looked back at Edward's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful in sleep, the silvery glow of the moon lighting up the right side of his beautiful face. I sighed from the sight, then slipped out of the room like a ghost of the night. I grabbed my flip-flops, and put on a thin sweater before sneaking out through the kitchen door. I wrapped my arms around my chest protectively, staring down at my feet as they walked across the uneven lawn. I hopped over the fence, then ran through my neighbors yard.

I had to think things through. That was a lot of information to take in in one night.

First, I had my memories back. There wasn't one thing I was missing. I felt like I had just woken up from a very deep sleep. Well, I did, but I mean it in a different way. I feel like a whole part of me has been missing for so long, and finally it had found its way back to me.

Second, James was alive. I was angry. The feelings of what happened with James were fresh to me - even though they really weren't. However, my body reacted differently. My muscles were tight in an anticipation for something. My back was straight, and I could feel the adrenaline filling my veins. It took the lead of my body, leading me to James.

Third, my feelings for Edward couldn't change. Even if I forgot him, my body couldn't. That love I had for him was bone deep. It was unconditional, inerasable, irrevocable.

* * *

"I want to see him," I ordered as I shoved the police station door open.

The policeman at his shift right now looked taken aback. He hopped up from his chair, watching as I speed walked over to his chest high desk.

"Who are you?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm Bella Swan."

His brow furrowed, then realization hit his face. "Oh! You're that girl who got kidnapped then lost her me-"

"I have to see him now," I interrupted, not at all in the mood for his brainless chatter.

He looked down at his watch, then back up at me. "You are aware that it is two in the morning, right?"

I nodded, tapping my fingers against the wooden desk in impatience.

He blew air out of his mouth, then sighed. "Who do you want to see, kid?"

"I need to see James Cullen."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Is that any of your business?" I asked, annoyed now.

He spluttered. "Uh…umm, no, I guess n-"

"Take me to him," I interrupted again.

He nodded, then waved me over to follow him through a doorway.

We walked down a hallway with no doors or windows. It was all just white, and it was fitting. I had no emotions right now, so blankness was good. I didn't want to feel anything. We then went through another doorway, and it led to a staircase, but it was pitch black.

"The cells are down here," the officer said, holding the door wider as he stepped through. "I'll go down first. Make sure you don't fall."

I nodded, my breath hitching as what I was about to do finally set in.

I was going to come face-to-face with the man who did all of this. Because of him, all of this started. I was angry that he kidnapped me - like any sane person would be - but also thankful at the same time. If he hadn't, then I would have never met Edward. I guess that was one thing that came out of this totally fucked up situation, as Edward would say.

I wondered what he would say to me when he saw me. Would he be surprised? Probably, I decided. What was I supposed to say, "How dare you for doing this to me and Edward!"

That…asshole even did this to Edward. Unfortunately, no one was there to keep Edward from being starved and beaten. My heart clenched at the memory of all of Edward's deep, pink and silver scars. They were because of James. Even some of my scars were because of him, even if they weren't caused physically.

"I'll…tell him he has a visitor," the officer said. "Then I'll take him to that room over there." He nodded his head to a door that had bars covering it from being opened. "You can go wait in there - it's unlocked."

I nodded and numbly walked into the room.

There was a table, and two chairs on opposite sides. There was a one-way window and a big, bright light hanging from the ceiling above the table. The light poured across it's gray surface, spreading out across the table.

I took a seat in the seat closest to the door, my back to it. I folded my hands in my lap, and saw the little scars scattered across my hands from the day Edward went away. I swiped my index finger against them, but there was no indent. These scars weren't so bad, not compared to all those horrible ones on Edward's chest. And yet, he was still beautiful. Even if half of his face was gone I'd think he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I heard the screeching of the door open and automatically stiffened in my chair. I knew he wouldn't recognize me from the back. I tried breathing, but my throat felt too tight. I shut my eyes tightly at the sound of the door shutting again, and two pairs of footsteps. I could hear metal clanking together, and realized it must have been his handcuffs. The sound of the metal chair legs scraping against the linoleum floors made me shiver, and the breath I had been holding in shot out of my mouth in nervous, jagged lurches.

"I'll be right outside the door," the officer's familiar voice murmured.

I nodded, my eyes still shut tightly.

I heard his retreating footsteps, then the sound of the metal door being shut.

As soon as I heard the metal clank of the door shutting, I shot my eyes open.

There, in front of me, was James. His hollow, inhuman grey eyes bore into mine. He was smirking.

"Huh, Bella Swan. I've been waiting awhile to hear from you."

Reviews make me update faster! It's a proven fact!