WHAT KEEPS US TOGETHER?

Chapter Twenty One

Bobby hadn't talked much during lunch. He hadn't eaten much either, and Mike and Carolyn couldn't help but notice. They both knew how upset he must have felt. He had spoken with Alex during his lunch hour, but she had to get to a meeting, so their conversation was brief.

The elevator ride back up to the 11th floor was quiet, until Bobby finally spoke.

"I finished all the paperwork on Covington. Anything else I can help you with?"

"You can take a ride with us to Chelsea Piers. We've got a witness to interview on the Kyle homicide," Carolyn said, while Mike shot her a 'dirty' look.

"Umm, thanks," Bobby said, "But I guess I'll just stay here. Maybe the Captain will have something for me."

"Suit yourself," Logan answered.

Once back at the Squad Room, Mike and Carolyn gathered their paperwork on the Kyle file and headed out.

Captain Deakins spotted Bobby back at his desk and watched.

Bobby sat, elbows on his desk; his chin resting on his massive, folded hands. He was lost in thought – staring at Alex's empty desk but not really seeing anything. The buzz of his intercom startled him back to reality.

"Goren," he answered. His voice was so soft it was barely audible.

"Bobby, can I see ya a minute?"

"I'll be right there."

There was no anger in Deakins' tone, but Bobby didn't want to presume that that meant good news.

He steeled himself with a deep breath as he walked towards the Captain's office, noticing by quick glances to his left and right that the rest of the guys in the Squad Room were watching him. He assumed that by now, everyone knew of the split-up – or if they didn't, they were at least curious as to why the Captain kept summoning him to his office so many times today.

"Yes, sir?"

"Close the door, Bobby," the Captain said softly. Deakins gestured, extending his arm, offering Bobby a seat.

The Captain watched Bobby settle his large frame into the chair, shifting uncomfortably. He looked tired; worried; defeated.

Bobby's head hung down; he nervously entwined his fingers as he waited to hear the bad news.

"Bobby."

The Captain waited until Bobby raised his head, so he could look at his eyes.

Bobby looked up; a huge sigh raising, then sinking, across his chest and shoulders.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Deakins smiled.

Bobby's head perked up further. His face brightened.

"You'll have Eames back on Monday." The Captain's smile grew wider.

"Really?" Bobby's face lit up with a grin.

Deakins nodded. "Look, just – in the future – save your affection for behind closed doors. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir," Bobby smiled. "Thank you Captain."

Bobby began rising from his chair, assuming that their meeting was over.

Deakins held his hand up, "Just a second, have a seat."

The smile left Bobby's face as he thought to himself, "Now what?"

Deakins easily read the look on Bobby's face and smiled, "Don't worry, no more bad news. I just want to talk."

Bobby nodded, "Oh, okay," he answered with a nervous laugh.

"I umm, I see a big change in you Bobby. A change for the better."

Bobby smiled. "Thanks," he answered shyly. "Alex said so, too."

"It's because of the rehab?" Deakins asked.

"I suppose," Bobby answered.

"Care to elaborate?" The Captain asked. He didn't want to pressure Bobby into answering things about his personal life, but he was genuinely curious as to how this apparent 180 turn in Bobby's behavior and attitude came about.

Bobby fidgeted a bit in his seat, until he found the right words to answer.

"Well, I guess –you know, the drinking is what got me there, but…" He hesitated, running a hand through his hair, coming to rest on the back of his neck.

"Go on, 'but' what?" Deakins asked.

"The drinkin' was actually the least of my problems. I, um, I had other problems long before that, that needed to be addressed."

Deakins was surprised he'd gotten that much from Bobby. He wasn't going to prod him again, to continue. As he was just about to tell Bobby he could go, Bobby continued speaking.

"My psychiatrist there, Dr. Silver –we spent hours talking about my childhood, my feelings for Alex – my umm, my problems with authority…" his eyes looked downward as his voice softly trailed off.

The last comment brought a smile to the Captain's lips. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, I appreciate your telling me, but I didn't mean to pry…"

"It-it's okay –it's part of my ongoing 'therapy' –I'm supposed to communicate better and verbalize my thoughts and feelings instead of internalizing them," he answered, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

"Well, I appreciate your candidness. You handled yourself well, today, Bobby."

Bobby smiled and again, got up from his seat.

"Why don't you get outta' here for the rest of the afternoon –you've had a pretty rough day," Deakins smiled.

Bobby turned when he reached the doorway. "Really?"

The Captain nodded, still smiling.

"Captain?"

Deakins tossed his head, indicating for Bobby to continue.

"Th-that stuff I told you, that's ju-just between us, 'off the record' – man-to-man, right?"

Deakins shook his head back and forth slightly, indicating 'no.'

Bobby's eyes widened in shock, until he saw the Captain's smile.

Deakins' smile grew wider, "Friend-to-friend."

Bobby turned, again, to leave the office, then spun back. "Captain?"

"What now?" Deakins teased.

"Th-the other person who saw Alex and me?" Bobby's eyebrows raised hopefully.

"Nobody saw anything," Deakins reminded him playfully.

"Gotcha," Bobby answered, understanding the Captain's meaning. If nobody saw anything, then nobody was obligated to report anything.

Bobby swung the door open as Deakins spoke, grabbing his attention once again.

"If ya ever run into Captain McClaren, be real nice, huh?" Deakins said with a sly grin.

Bobby smiled and nodded. He had his answer.

Bobby walked back to his desk, unable to contain his smile. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from him. He grabbed his leather portfolio from his desk and headed for home.

X X X

Alex groaned as she dragged herself up the final flight of stairs. It was almost 7:00 p.m. She had had another awful commute and was glad that only four days remained to her assignment in Newark.

"I already thought my day sucked," she complained to herself. "Now I'm gonna have to call Bobby and deal with that whole mess, too," she groaned, frowning.

As she approached her apartment door, the wonderful aromas of an Italian dinner filled her nose. "Arrggh, I'm too tired to cook," she said to herself as she put the key in lock and unlatched the dead bolt. "Maybe Bobby will settle for Chinese again."

As she opened the door, she noticed the lights on; heard music from her stereo. The scents of tomato and basil and garlic filled her nose. She smiled and inhaled deeply as she made her way to the kitchen.

"Hey you!" she said cheerily, watching Bobby as he removed a loaf of garlic bread from the oven.

He spun around, surprised to see her, and smiled. "Hi! I guess the music's a little too loud – I didn't hear the door open."

She walked closer to kiss him 'hello.' "I wasn't expecting this tonight. Thank you!"

He bent to kiss her and wrapper her in a tight hug, lifting her off the floor and inch or two. "I hope ya don't mind – I used my key."

"The Captain sent me home early, so I figured…" Bobby began explaining as he put her down and ended their embrace.

"Why?" She asked. "What did you do?"

He let out one of breathy chuckles, laughing and talking at the same time. "I didn't do anything," he said. "The Captain said I had rough day, so he let me go home early."

Alex eyed him skeptically.

"What you looking at?" Bobby asked indignantly. "It's the truth." He stared back at her.

"What are you looking at?" Alex turned the question on him.

"My partner."

His answer didn't sink in. Alex continued looking at him, while he stood waiting for her to catch on –he knew she always did, eventually.

Finally, he saw the recognition on her face. He smiled

"Bobby, are you serious?" she asked with hopeful excitement.

He smiled and nodded his head, then stepped forward, swept her into another hug and whispered in her ear, "He's letting us stay together." He then kissed her ear and neck, causing her to squirm in his arms.

"Bobby! Stop that! You've giving me goose bumps all down my arm and leg!"

He kept blowing softly in her ear, increasing her shivers. He again whispered to her, a warning, "If you keep squirming against me like that, I'm gonna have to carry you straight to the bedroom and dinner's gonna burn."

"Tell me, Bobby. Tell me how you did it!"

"Okay, I'll tell you all about it while we eat," he acquiesced while releasing her.

"I'll finish setting the table," Alex offered. "What's on the menu?" she asked, while opening the silverware drawer. "It smells great!"

Bobby stood in front of the stove, stirring the sauce, and dropped in another fresh leaf of basil. "Stuffed shells, meatballs, garlic bread and a nice salad," he smiled, proud of his culinary efforts. "I made the dressing myself."

"Sounds delicious," Alex smiled at him. "I'm famished. Liv and I didn't eat –we ran errands, instead."

Alex reached into the cabinet and took out two tall tumblers for their iced tea.

Bobby noticed her selection of glasses and shrugged, "Sorry, no wine with dinner," he smiled and winked

X X X

They sat and leisurely enjoyed their meal while Bobby recounted the entire day's events to Alex. Once through eating and doing the dishes, they settled on the couch in front of the TV. Bobby sat, comfortably leaning against a pile of pillows, with Alex nestled between his long legs, leaning back on his stomach and chest as her "pillow."

After watching their agreed-upon selections for an hour or so, she stretched and yawned.

He petted her hair. "You ready for bed?" It was an innocent question, but his soft, sexy voice somehow always made it sound more inviting to her ears.

She turned onto her side, propping herself up on one arm, and looked at him. "In a few minutes. I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" Bobby asked, sounding concerned.

"Ya know, Bobby, we're gonna have to start being careful."

He shook his head, "Only Deakins and McClaren know …well, okay, and Logan and Barek, but the Captain said to just make sure we keep…"

"No, no, I'm not talking about that," Alex interrupted. She took her free hand and ran her fingers down Bobby's chest and stomach –past his waist, coming to rest on his fly –giving a little squeeze. "I mean this – 'careful', ya know?"

Bobby's brow furrowed. "Well, that would be counter-productive, don't ya think?" he scoffed at her faulty line of thinking.

"What? Counter-productive to what?" Alex questioned in amazement.

He pulled her upper arm, fully turning her on her stomach. Then, with his hands under her arms, he slowly pulled her up the length of his body until her face was even with his. He looked at her face –deeply into her eyes.

He kissed her –small teasing kisses, at first, which turned to a deep, passionate union of their lips and tongues and mouths.

As he kissed her, Alex moved her hips, rubbing against him, feeling his growing urgency.

She pulled her head back, breaking the kiss. "This is how you get out of everything with me, isn't it?" she accused him. "Answer the question," she demanded, "Or no more of this," she threatened, adding extra emphasis to the word 'this' as she thrust her hips against him teasingly.

He held her tiny face between his large, strong hands.

Every time he looked at her with those gorgeous big brown eyes, she nearly melted.

"Counter-productive…to…making…a…little…playmate…for…Nathan," he whispered, punctuating each word with a little kiss.

Her heart leapt in her chest. Her internal 'happiness meter' went off the chart.

She always felt as if she were being enveloped by his stare – drowning in dark pools of chocolate, whenever he looked at her. But the look in his eyes now was different –she could 'read' the intent behind his gaze.

She stared back at him. "I'm ready for bed now."

END Chapter Twenty One