It's going to seem like you got two new postings, and in a way you did, but not in the way you think.

The original Chapter 17 got skipped over somehow so I just posted it and put it in it's rightful place. It's the funeral, and it's decent. Go have a read and tell me what you think on either this and chapter 21. I would appreciate your input!

(A.N. This took a record breaking amount of time to get out. I have no good excuse though I do have a few lame ones. First, I got married. My husband had to have surgery so he has been on leave and at home for three months hogging the computer and otherwise occupying my time and that is not a complaint. Plus school, and my roommate/best friend has decided to back out on a few promises made to me and move in with her boyfriend of three months which leaves my husband and myself kind of stuck in a rut. It's been a stressful couple of months.

Either way I'm sorry this took so long to get out. I'm in desperate need of ideas so if you have a particular direction you want this story to go tell me about it and I will try to work in some of the better ideas. Also I recommend you all read 'Scar Tissue' the autobiography of the front man of the RHCP, Anthony Keidis. It's pretty decent.

Alright. Enjoy and REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!)

Disclaimer: Not my characters.

"It just seems like you're driving slow." I complained as a car passed us. I had been pestering since we left. He was being incredibly patient. "I swear that old lady who just passed was wearing bifocals."

"I'm going above the posted speed limit, and that woman who just past was actually a man probably younger then both of us."

"Well that's unfortunate." I said staring blankly at the car that seemed to tauntingly speed up into the distance. "Maybe you should let me drive."

"Pulling over, getting out, and switching seats will only make this drive last longer." Edward was all business. We had yet to talk about anything important and I swear the tension stirring in the air was slowing down time and making our drive back to Seattle ten times longer then it should have been. "You usually drive slower then me anyways."

"I bet I could drive faster then you right now." I egged on. I wanted to get home with plenty of time for me to do nothing but laze until work that night or at least take a shower. "Pull over and let me drive, then you'll see."

Edward didn't say anything more. He just smirked and lightly shook his head. It's not that we were upset or mad or anything negative at each other. We were just feeling awkward about everything that had happened that weekend.

I mean, who wants to get into a heavy conversation about ex's and obligation, and nearly breaking up over something that didn't happen. I didn't, certainly not in the confined space of a car while Edward was driving. Not only was it completely unappealing, but it just wasn't safe. We could wait to talk when we got home. Or maybe even a week or two. I wasn't in any hurry.

It was a big emotional stress ball of a weekend. Between the funeral, Jake, and my and Edward's big blow out, not to mention the lovely punch Edward landed Jake with, this weekend was way more eventful then I would have imagined. In fact, all I had imagined was a quick, somewhat sad trip to help my father through a difficult time. Billy's death and funeral was what I came to Forks for. Instead I was bombarded with my ex-boyfriend's unrelenting need to profess his love to me while I stupidly pretended he was just hurt and needed a friend. Apparently I was way more naïve than I ever thought.

Overall, I'd say this weekend sucked!

I looked back over at Edward as he reached behind my seat before plopping a paper bag down in my lap. I looked at the bag for a few moments, then back up at Edward, then back at the bag.

He was an angel.

"When did you get this?" I asked in awe. In all of the hubbub I hadn't thought to get snacks for the trip. I was board out of my mind by now and my stomach was starting to ache with insistent hunger pains. Something about driving long distances made me think I was starving.

"While you were in the restroom at the last gas station we stopped at." He said while watching me from the corner of his eye. This was one of those 'had me at hello' moments where I couldn't help but swoon. I mean, through all the tension, the stress, and my overall not so wonderful mood he still remembered to feed me. Like I said before, he was an angel. "See if I got anything you like."

I dug through the bag a little more eagerly then was ladylike and low and behold there lay all my favorite junk food, plus a pre-made sandwich and some tea.

"Seriously, you are the perfect man." I gushed while I reached in and pulled out some chips and tea. His chuckling laughter filled the car and any form of stress I had melted away as I smiled back at him. Popping a chip into my mouth I continued to look through the bag of snacks and continued to be in awe at not only how well Edward knew me and my eating habits but also that he thought I was capable of eating this much. "That's a lot of food."

"I thought you would want variety." He said reaching in the bag himself and grabbing out the one thing that I wasn't about to eat. He unwrapped his newly acquired power bar and took a bite. "I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for so I just got a little of everything."

"Including a gross protein bar for yourself." I said as I chucked another chip into my mouth and chased it with a swig of tea. "If I was a lesser woman I would feel uncomfortable eating all this unhealthy food while you nibble daintily on a power bar, but thankfully I have no qualms with it."

"I don't do anything daintily, thank you very much, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable…" He threw is bitten on power bar back into the bag of goodies and reached in for a chip before I could stop him. He bit down on the chip with a smile on his face.

"Hey! I said I wasn't uncomfortable!" I giggled, failing at my attempt to sound stern.

"You only children…" Edward sighed. "Always so greedy. Can't even stand having one single chip taken. What happened to sharing?"

"Taken, not asked for." I tsked, happy to be back into our playful banter I so missed over this trip, especially over the passed few days. Just seeing him smile that same warm smile nearly made me melt. "Now if you would have just asked…"

"Bella, my sweet, wonderful, loving, amazing girlfriend, would you be so kind as to give me a chip?" His bottom lip jutted out just a little, and his eyes turned all puppy dog when he chanced a looked away from the road towards me. "Please."

I grabbed a chip out of the bag and gently placed it in his awaiting mouth. The talk could wait a few more days.

It smelled like home when I walked through the door to our apartment. That unique scent that I had become desensitized to before circulated through the apartment combining both Edward and my scent and making something absolutely soothing. It was warm, with only one lone lamp on in the living room.

I sat down with a sigh, enjoying just being back home. Home is where your heart is, many say, so it only made sense that my home was where Edward and I made it together. Where Edward was, was my home. Losing him would have been a huge downfall in my life.

I opened my eyes to find Edward staring down at me with that smile that warmed every part of my being. It was that smile that could get me through some of my darkest times, and he smiled that way at me now.

I pulled him on the couch next to me, and crawled on top of him, hugging my arms tightly around his neck. Somehow, though we had been together for a more then twenty four hours it seemed like we were apart. Like he was far away from me. I breathed him in and let my mind relax while Edward began kissing a trail down my neck and over my now bare shoulder.

And as I leaned my head back, enjoying the sensation of his lips on my body I couldn't help but think about all the things we needed to talk about. No matter how much I tried to push away all those thoughts, they sat there lingering at the forefront of my mind distracting me as Edward laid on some of his best work. So, as his hands slowly started grazing against my stomach, lifting my shirt in the process my head won.

I gently grabbed my shirt and held it down while Edward looked up at me with a face that was distraught with confusion. After the horrible fight, and seeing his face when he thought I betrayed him, made seeing him anything less then happy a painful sight. So much so that I almost gave in to my aching heart and let him have me. And though it would have been amazing, as it always is with Edward, I wouldn't have been there fully. I wouldn't have been able to give him everything he was giving me.

I smiled consolingly at him as I moved his hands the rest of the way out of my shirt and rested my forehead against his. "I need to shower before work. I smell like I have been in a car for the last few hours." It was an excuse and the truth all in one.

"Can I join you?"

"Of course, but it's literally going to be a five to ten minute shower, partially consisting of me shaving my legs." The look wavered a little into the smile he gives me when he doesn't want me to know he's hurt. It made me ache. It made me want to take him right then and there to show him how much I really loved him. Instead I leaned down and kissed him slowly, deepening the kiss as he opened his mouth to mine.

He had a five a clock shadow forming that rubbed roughly against my skin but it was barely a distraction against his kissing. I wrapped my hand around his neck and gently grabbed his hair, pulling ever so slightly towards me. He reacted by grabbing my hips and grinding me into him.

That was my queue.

I pulled away leaving him drawing heavy breaths in and out. Then I slowly stood, snuck one more small peck in before winking and walking off towards the bathroom to take my shower. He sat staring as I put a little extra swing in my hips as I walked away.

It may have seemed mean. It may have seemed cruel, hell it may have seemed like I was just being a bitch and if it were anyone else they probably would have preserved it just that way but to Edward I just showed my passion for him in two minutes as apposed to an hour. It was my way of showing him that my rejection wasn't because I didn't want to, because god knows that wasn't the case, but because I didn't have time at the moment. I would make the time, hopefully tonight, after we talked. Either way, it was my way of consoling him.

It's hard enough for a man to be rejected, especially after their girlfriends loyalty had just come into questions. I didn't want any questions as to why I didn't want to be with him at the moment to fester in his mind. I didn't want him to think something completely untrue. This was my only way of doing that, other then just telling him like someone a little more mature might do. But, right now, being mature meant having a very uncomfortable conversion so I took the less admirable route.

I locked the bathroom door behind me, barring Edward from trying to sneak in and hop in the shower with me. There would be no way I could say no to him if he did that. I let the steam from the shower fill the bathroom before I hopped in. I lingered under the warm water a little longer then I had to and enjoyed the heavy water pressure as it messaged away some of my tight muscles.

My mind still remained thinking about what we had to talk about. Edward has always been so amazing about everything and though I was naïve and stupid about Jake's advances, Edward should have known better. He should have known I would never cheat on him. He was far to special to me. Far to dear to me heart. Hurting him hurt me, and losing him would be losing a piece of me. It would shatter me into pieces that wouldn't be able to be put back together.

Cheating was always something I abhorred. It is a disgraceful, dishonest, cowardly thing to do. Never in my life have I been capable of doing such a thing, especially not to Edward. He needed to explain where this doubt came from, and if it was my fault that it was there. I needed to apologize for letting such a doubt form. I couldn't sleep with him until I knew exactly what it was that I did to make him think I was capable of cheating.

I got ready for work slowly, dreading smelling like coffee beans when I got home. Usually I didn't mind my job but it was beginning to feel stagnant. My bad mood and overall boredom with my just over minimum wage job were making me want to curl up on the bed and sleep. But that would leave me home with Edward, and I wouldn't have any good excuse for not giving myself to him. Of course he would always understand if I just didn't want. He would never hold it against me. But as I said before, with everything that has happened, it just wouldn't work that way right now.

The night lagged on, and I sat staring at the clock as our two customers sat on a small couch chatting about her boyfriend dumping her, while the other listened on with fake attention. Her eyes had glazed over about five minutes into the topic, yet the other girl was so rapped up in her story that she didn't notice her friend staring blankly into the distance. Her complaining made me want to throw something at her. The guy sounded like a jerk yet here she was blabbing about him, wasting air on him.

My mood didn't improve very much until closing. Seeing Edward there, waiting to pick me up usually would have warmed my spirit, but tonight it just reminded me that my good old truck was officially dead. I would have to go out and buy a new car, and try at the same time to keep Edward from buying it for me. He was nothing if not giving in the most persistent of ways.

Edward caught onto my mood and let me be. Between everything that has happened, and everything that was going to happen I had a bleak outlook on the rest of the night. I wasn't sure if I would rather hold out talking to Edward, to save what may very well turn into an argument until a few days from now, or if I want to just get it done with. Stewing in the dread was only making me stressed. Pile that on top of finding time to buy a new vehicle and getting past my issues with my job and I felt like screaming.

We got all the way back to the apartment without saying a word to each other. Edward held my hand as we walked up the stairs, and through the hall only letting go to unlock the door. He ushered me in ahead of him and waited while I set my purse down and hung my jacket in the hallway closet.

It smelled good in here. Really good. "Have you been cooking?" I asked, lifting my nose into the air and walking in the direction the smell was coming from. There laid out neatly on plates was dinner with candles lit and everything. "What did you do?"

"I let the food get a little cold, I know. But it was that or kill the surprise." He explained and he led me to my seat, pulled it out, and pushed it in while I sat. "And the candles were just hazardous. But again, I sacrificed fire safety for the surprise."

"It looks wonderful." I said and touched the food with my index finger. "And it's still warm." I smiled up at him, and licked the food from my finger. "It's good."

"I had limited time to work with, so this is all I could do." I stared down at the huge meal sitting in front of me in shock.

"All you could do? Edward this is a lot. I can barely believe you managed it."

"I needed to do something."

"No you didn't. Why would you need to do something?" I breathed in the food again and my stomach rumbled. "I'm certainly happy you did it. My god! I thought you could only cook breakfast foods."

"Usually, but I have a few other tricks up my sleeves." Smiling he sat down. "Eat. Before it gets even colder."

I grabbed my fork and dug in. There wasn't much conversation through the meal because apparently both of our appetites were up. That or we were both trying desperately to avoid any intense or heavy conversations that may occur.

"What did you do all day?" I asked finally, finishing my last bite and putting my napkin on the table. I had been stuffed long before cleaning my plate, but I continued on and finished, all in my immature attempt to avoid what needed to be done. "Stupid question. You made me this incredible dinner. That had to have taken up all of your time."

"Yeah. That's pretty much it." He said smiling back at me. His eyes shifted away from mine then, and I knew he was trying to work up the nerve to bring it up. Finally, with a sigh of defeat, he did. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I looked up at him, a little taken aback. He went straight to the point and it wasn't the point I thought. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about this." I admitted with a sigh. "I don't want to fight anymore. I want to be happy, and here with you. I don't want you angry at me or vise versa."

"Then we won't fight, but we do need to talk." He said sternly, and moved his chair closer to me. "I am so beyond sorry, Bella. I can't begin to explain…"

"Don't apologize. Why would you apologize? It was both of us being stupid."

"I wouldn't say stupid, necessarily. Just, not in our right minds." He smirked at me, lifted his hand up and rubbed his fingers along my cheek. "I don't know what came over me. I don't know why I could possibly think you were cheating on me. I had no doubts in my mind about you being faithful until I drove up and saw him so close to you. And when I saw that, how close he was to you, something in my mind snapped and all logic went out the window. I knew you would never do that to me, but when I saw you two, I just thought all my fears had come true. That somehow that bastard tricked you into it."

"Nothing happened. I didn't want him there. I hated having him so close." I explained again. I was trying to stay calm, trying to explain and reiterate that fact but it was hard. I took a deep calming breath before I continued. "It sucks that you thought, even for a moment, that I was capable of doing that to you. I hate that I made you think that. I should have known better. I'm always so naïve about Jake and his intentions."

"Yes, you are. But your naivety is something I love about you. It's just part of who you are." Edward leaned his forehead against mine and smiled bitterly. "Jake took advantage of that part of you."

"Yup, he did and I was naïve about that too! I still feel stupid for letting him do that." I looked back at Edward and stared hard into his eyes. "You have to believe I didn't and would never do anything to hurt you. I would never cheat on you. I swear."

"I believe that fully." He said with a sad smile. "I just got a little blinded by rage for a moment, but I'm back and thinking clearly again."

"That blind rage of your is violent…" I smiled a little when I said it. It was bad, but picturing Edward punching Jake in the face was sort of incredible. He was usually so calm, and even tempered. Never violent.

"You think he'll sue me?" He asked, unconcerned.

"Nope. He doesn't want to look like a girly man." I said with full confidence. "He will tell some elaborate story about how he kicked your ass and you only got the one punch in and everyone will think he protected me and Charlie against the evil Edward Cullen. I'm sure the whole reservation thinks you're in intensive care right now, barely hanging on to life."

Edward pursed his lips and drew in his eyebrows. "I'm not sure I like that." He admitted. "Maybe we should take another trip to Forks and make sure the whole reservation sees me. You know, so they aren't being misled."

"How about we tell Charlie to rebuke any lies he hears?" I giggled. "Did I tell you how sexy you looked in your fit of rage. I mean, it was kind of scary, but your muscles really get defined when you're slugging someone."

"Sexy?" He cocked his brow at me in shock. I nodded, bit my lip and his smirk appeared. "I bet we can get them looking just as defined right now, if you wanted to."

"Lead the way, stud."

(A.N. Well, I hope you liked it. I was a little out of it when I wrote most of this so bare with me. My BETA is swamped with her schooling. The woman is brilliant! So my paper may be messy. Anyone wanting to help me check these things write me. Oh! And anyone who saw New Moon in theaters tell me what you think! I thought it was better then Twilight, but that doesn't take much, does it? Thanks for reading and thanks even more for REVIEWING!)

Remember to take a look at the newly put in Chapter 17. It's the funeral scene that somehow got misplaced!