Chapter 21

The blood beat loudly in his ears. Paul slammed the shutter door behind him, the force causing the glass to rattle in the painted wooden frame. His brown eyes were trained on the gravel as he strode purposefully towards the garden, his footsteps crunching heavily underneath him. The moon washed over the path in a dim white light and he followed his elongated shadow round the corner of the house and onto the neatly trimmed lawn. Despite his assured movements, he felt like he was trapped in some sort of haze, like he was sleepwalking or something. Andrea's accusation had him completely stunned. He was struggling to take in the truth about Stephanie never mind the fact that his sister was somehow mixed up in it all too. He just wasn't sure what he was thinking right now. He felt angry, lost, hurt and confused all at once. His emotions were all jumbled up inside and he wasn't sure he liked it. All he could focus on was the fact that he needed to find Stephanie and confront her about what Andrea had told him. Hopefully she would at least have the decency to be honest with him. He was so sick and tired of all the games and God knows, it would be a first in his life for a woman to be completely truthful with him.

Drifting towards the large patio, Paul scanned the vast garden. Someone had switched on the small lanterns surrounding the perfectly manicured borders and it bathed the darkened lawn in a soft glow. As he peered through the shadows, he thought he saw movement down the bottom end of the garden.

"Paul."

He jumped slightly startled at the sound of his name as he felt his mother's hand grip his arm. The balmy evening breeze blew through his soft blonde strands as she smiled at him, gently guiding him towards his Aunt who was sitting on a small deck chair on the patio. Her wine glass dangled between her fingers as her other hand beckoned him towards her, patting the empty seat next to her. He shook his head, smiling tightly, itching to leave already.

"I was just telling Aunt Jane all about your house. She couldn't believe you had a Jacuzzi in your bathroom as well as one of those fancy glass shower cubicles."

Patricia beamed proudly as she turned to her sister. "You should see it Jane. The bathroom is like something out of one of those glossy interior design magazines. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw it. In fact, the whole house is decorated beautifully and the flooring is just amazing. What do you call it again, honey?"

Paul rolled his eyes as his feet shifted on the slabs, scuffing over the concrete. He wasn't in the mood for participating in any form of conversation. He absently glanced back in the direction of the garden as his fingers tugged at the cuff of his black jacket. "It's called wood, Ma."

"Don't be smart!" she scolded, slapping at his arm lightly and getting his attention once more, her nose crinkled with her scowl. "I know that it's wood. Your mother isn't that senile yet, you know. What I meant is what kind of wood is it?"

Paul shook his head, his lips down turning into an impatient frown. "I don't know, I think it's oak or something. Look Mom, can we talk about this later?"

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes narrowing into suspicious slits.

He lifted his shoulder in a light shrug trying his best to appear casual and ward off his mother's uncanny knack for knowing when something was troubling him even under the influence of too much wine. The last thing he needed was her even suspecting that something was amiss. He wasn't sure he could cope with the interrogation and it wasn't like he could even admit the truth. "It's nothing. I was just looking for Stephanie, that's all."

"Well I saw her a few minutes ago. She was with your father just down by the pond."

He smiled his thanks as he took a step in the direction of the garden.

"She's a lovely girl, Paul. I didn't realise she was born and raised in New York." said Jane, halting him in his tracks.

Paul nodded as he looked over towards the pond. He vaguely made out the figures standing in the shadows. His lips pressed together tightly as he sniffed, raking his fingers through his hair.

"I wonder if she knows Cathy Smart's youngest, Susan. My, that girl, she's a bit of a wild one, I tell you. Stumbling home drunk before she was barely fourteen." said Jane, shaking her head in disapproval as she shifted in her chair. "I said to Cathy she'd better watch out or she's going to have big trouble on her hands. There's too much temptation for young girls out in those big cities nowadays what with the drugs and the sex and everything. It's nothing like it was back in our day, you know."

Paul slowly began to back away, his head slightly throbbing at the sound of his aunt's voice. He was feeling edgy, desperate to escape from the mindless conversation. "Listen Ma, I'm just going to catch up with Steph, okay?" he told her.

"Okay dear." she smiled.

Paul turned on his heel, grateful to be escaping and jogged down the handful of concrete steps.

"But remember to come back and tell Aunt Jane all about your flooring." she called out after him.

He lifted his hand in a dismissive wave as he moved through the shadows on the lawn towards the pond. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nick sitting with Andrea on a garden bench on the opposite side. He instantly bristled with anger as he heard the sound of her high-pitched laughter carrying in the breeze. It obviously hadn't bothered her in the least dropping her little bombshell a moment ago and fucking around with people's lives. She really was one twisted bitch. If he never saw her again after this weekend, it would be far too soon. In fact, he would be happy to pretend this weekend never even happened. Why he'd even agreed to come here, he didn't know. He had to have been completely out of his mind. Even the one good thing he thought he had gotten out of it had turned out to be nothing more than a lie. Then again, this whole weekend had been nothing but one huge big lie from the start and he had no one else to blame for that but himself. It was his lie after all.

Sighing softly, Paul's big hand lifted to rub wearily at his face before pushing his long blonde strands behind his ear. His father's voice guided him to the end of the pond where he was standing with Stephanie. She was facing him and he could see the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her lips, her face gently illuminated by the pale moonlight. Her brow was etched in concentration as she listened to his father. Stephanie always gave people her full attention during conversations. It was one of the many things he had learned about her the past few days. It was just a pity he hadn't learned a lot of others things too like the fact she was currently attached to another man. As he lightly snorted in disgust, Stephanie was alerted to his presence and her blue eyes widened as she spotted him over his father's shoulders.

"Hey." she smiled, greeting him.

Paul licked his lips and nodded curtly. Now he was standing face to face with her, his words were frozen. He couldn't conduct simple pleasantries, not when all he could think about was the fact she was with somebody else, somebody who wasn't him and somebody who she was probably truly in love with. Suddenly the feelings she had confessed to having for him felt like one big cruel joke. He swallowed thickly and his brown eyes settled on her just his father turned around and grinned at him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder, patting it enthusiastically.

"There he is. My little league champion of '79."

Paul groaned in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration as he turned to him, shaking his head. "Dad, do we have to get into this?"

"You know I was just telling Stephanie how proud I was when you made that home run that day."

Paul sighed heavily as his father squeezed his arm, pulling him close to him. He could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath as the beer bottle dangled from his fingers. Why the fuck did his parents always feel the need to reminisce about his childhood every time they got loaded?

"I remember it all so vividly you know." said his father, looking at Stephanie with a proud expression on his face. "It was a Saturday afternoon, one of the hottest that spring. The game was tied at four and it was the last innings. Paul had just stepped up to the plate. My heart was in my mouth when he took his first swing and I watched him whack that ball right into the bleachers. I'm telling you the whole crowd went mad. People were cheering and stamping their feet. It was the first time the school team had won a championship in over fifteen years and my son, he made it happen you know."

"Dad, I'm pretty sure Stephanie doesn't want to hear all this."

"And why the hell not? I'm sure she'll be as every bit as proud of you as I was, as I am because I am truly proud of you, son. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished." he stressed, his voice catching with emotion as he enveloped his large frame in a hug.

Paul rolled his eyes dryly into the darkness as he returned the embrace, his big hand patting his back affectionately.

"You know maybe you should lay off the beer, Pop."

His father ignored him as he pulled away, his eyes suddenly widening as he spotted his wife approaching through the shadows.

"Patricia, come here and tell Stephanie all about that ball game." he cried.

Paul shook his head quickly and while his father's attention was diverted to his mother, he grabbed Stephanie's hand and tugged her in the opposite direction, towards the small path to the river.

"Come on. We need to get out of here." he muttered, his eyes focused straight ahead as he guided her through the garden.

"Why? Where are we going?" she asked, slightly panting as she tried to keep up with his large strides.

She could feel the heels of her sandals sinking into the soft grass. The moonlight disappeared behind the large tree and suddenly the path in front of her was in darkness. She gripped Paul's hand a little tighter. Thankfully she could see lights in the road just ahead of them and she felt a little easier as they washed over the small gate. Paul said nothing as he let go of her hand and held it open for her.

"Thanks." she smiled as she stepped out into the quiet road.

She could hear the crickets chirping in the bushes that aligned the street. She shivered slightly feeling the nightly chill in the breeze. Rubbing her bare left arm in a vain attempt to warm herself up, she turned to smile at Paul who now stood beside her. His expression was blank as he turned to his right.

"Let's go this way."

Stephanie nodded as she bit down on her lip. Their footsteps fell into time with one another echoing along the deserted road and allowing herself to steal a glance at Paul, Stephanie quickly wished she hadn't. It was more than obvious that his mood had changed dramatically in the short time he was gone. His silence alone spoke volumes to her and she couldn't help but feel worried but that somehow it was related to her. Her own guilt made her uneasy never mind anything else.

"So, now I know why you were worried about Lynn back at the hotel."

Stephanie stopped in her tracks as his words sunk in, shocking her. She could feel her bottom lip tremble slightly as Paul turned to look at her. The icy glare in his big brown eyes caused her fear to clutch heavily at her chest. Any trace of warmth or familiarity in the dark pools had disappeared. It was like she was a stranger, like they'd never even met before. She felt the lump envelop in her throat as she quickly realised the truth.

"You know, don't you?" she asked shakily.

"Yeah, I know."

"Who….?"

"Does it really matter?" he said harshly, cutting her off.

Stephanie swallowed hard as she slowly shook her head. "No."

"I mean it's not going to change the fact you're with someone else now, is it?"

She saw the flicker of pain in Paul's expression and she knew that his pain wasn't just about her. It was the pain he felt for Andrea and her betrayal in the past too, a pain that she had brought back tenfold with her inability to be straight with him.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me, Stephanie?" asked Paul, his nose crinkled with his anger.

Stephanie's blue eyes were apologetic as she reached out to him only to watch him deliberately step away from her touch. Her defeated sigh drifted off into the wind.

"Look I'm sorry. I just…I honestly thought there was nothing to tell because Ethan and I? We're over, Paul. I knew that the minute I came here with you and realised how I felt about you."

"And it never crossed your mind to mention him to me, to bring him in the conversation?"

"I didn't think it was that important. When we got home, I was going to end things. I was going to tell him about you but I wanted to do it face to face. After two years together, it's the least he deserves."

Paul's mouth parted in astonishment as he stared at her in disbelief. "Two years? You've been with this guy for two years and you didn't think your relationship with him was important?"

"That's not what I meant!" she cried, her voice wavering with emotion as she felt the hot tears prick her eyes. She quickly blinked them back pushing away her wayward brown strands that tickled her face desperate to find the words that would make him understand. "Look, I know how this seems okay but you have to know that I didn't plan any of this, Paul. I mean, the last thing I expected was to fall for you. This was supposed to be nothing more than a business arrangement between us."

Paul snorted. "It's a convenient excuse for you, isn't it? The fact this is business?"

"It's not an excuse, it's the truth." she stressed.

"Well it's nice to see you are actually capable of being honest with me."

Stephanie sniffed back her tears. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?"

"No it's not." she snapped, his accusatory tone suddenly making her angry and she took a step towards him, closing the short distance between them. Her blue eyes were stormy and determined as she glared at him. "And anyway, who the hell are you to judge me? Okay I made a mistake. I should have told you the truth about Ethan. I should have been honest with you but this was supposed to be business, remember? A business arrangement that you came up with by the way. It was nobody else. And why did you come up with it? I'll tell you why." she stated pointing her manicured finger in his direction. "It's because you're the one that has been lying, Paul. Lying to yourself and lying to your family by paying me five thousand bucks to be your girlfriend for a weekend." Stephanie shook her head in frustration as her hand dropped to her side. "Fuck. For all I know come Monday morning we'll be back in the real world and you'll be recommending me to a friend. I mean it would be terribly stupid to think that any of this was real now, wouldn't it?"

Paul's brown eyes flinched with hurt at her words but he couldn't deny the element of truth behind them. This couldn't be real. How could it be when they'd only known one another for a matter of days? Even then, they didn't know one another, not really. He didn't know Stephanie's favourite movie, her favourite book or a special song, any of the little things that mattered. Hell, he didn't even know she was in a relationship with some other guy that's how little he knew her. And if Stephanie was with someone else, how could he trust that the feelings she claimed to have for him were real? After all, she had no problem cheating on this guy with him, kissing him and holding him at night for the last three days. There was no guarantee that somewhere down the line she wouldn't turn around cheat on him too and he sure as hell wasn't putting himself in that position that again. Not after Andrea. He was done with women screwing around on him.

Sighing softly, Paul raked his fingers through his hair. He shifted his feet lightly kicking a stone in his path and he realised his anger had disappeared to be replaced with a silent resignation that this was over. It had to be despite the ache in his heart telling him that his feelings for Stephanie were very much real.

"You know what? You're right." he admitted as her big blue eyes watched him carefully. "I am lying to my family and to myself. But do you know what the funny thing is? I was actually stupid enough to fall for that lie and believe it could be true. I actually thought we could have had something here."

Stephanie instinctively reached out for his arm. She could feel his heat underneath the material of his coat. Her tone was desperate and pleading. "But we can, Paul. We do!"

He slowly shook his head stepping away from her. "I don't think so. Not any more."

As he turned to leave, she gripped his arm stopping him. His brown eyes narrowed in her direction.

"Just because you're leaving, don't think I'm letting you go." she told him.

Paul began to laugh but the sound caught in this throat, his emotions suddenly getting the better of him. "Quite frankly Stephanie, you don't have a choice."

Stephanie felt the hot tears prick her eyes as she stood there helpless watching him turn away and leave. "That's right. Go ahead, Paul. Hate me." she shouted. "I mean God knows it took you long enough to get over the whole Andrea thing. Maybe you can hold onto this long enough to avoid another relationship."

But her words fell on deaf ears and she could only wrap her arms around herself and watch him disappear into the darkness.