I want to thank all of you for your support or for merely reading this, it's already amazing for me :) I hope you look forward to keep on reading, I'll try to make to story line clearer so it won't get too confusing. Love you all and thank you one again !
Anna seemed quite puzzled.
"So according to you, Hans took you to that hut of his—no, kidnapped you while you were unconscious—and then those men in black decided to just, take you away and... do what nobody knows about 'cause you don't remember any of it." she paused and inhaled in a sharp breath. "Then, the two - what were their names ? - from the Southern Isles, they made sure you would find us so you would go back home and they would take care of Hans afterwards. Is that it ?"
Elsa passively watched her little sister pacing back and forth across the room nervously, summing up the little she knew and thought was the actual events, her thumb and forefinger under her chin.
"Yeah... it's quite like that, a little bit more complicated, though—" she began, trying to find a proper answer to her sister's question, which she didn't want to hear since she cut her off.
"But... those men - if you can even call them that - who..." she struggled with the ords to come and swallowed hard the lump in her throat. "I don't know how to qualify that..."
"Beat me up ?" the Queen stated flatly, her tone empty as she focused on trying to recall what she couldn't possibly remember.
It surprised the redhead, who remained at a loss for words for a few seconds. How could Elsa blurt it out this way when Anna felt so bad at the mere thought of it.
"Mhm, you can say that... well" she steadied herself, "nobody knows who they are, where they are, and what they have exactly done to you." she stated the obvious and stood straight once she had regained her composure.
She had stopped pacing.
"I just want to understand..." she mumbled, dropping her arms at her side.
"Anna... You worry yourself too much." Elsa said as she began to walk to her sister and gently grabbed her hands. "We caught one of them. He actually trapped himself by adventuring too far in our castle. He'll talk, I promise. We will find what they've done, and everything will at last be fine." she assured, trying to comfort her the best she could, albeit she wasn't evven sure to believe her own words.
A skeptical look remained plastered on the Princess' face. She couldn't chzse the thought of them hurting Elsa away from her mind. Her blood was boiling with anger in her veins, throughout her body, and burned her skin from the inside whenever she merely imaginedthe scene. It gave her nausea.
They would pay for this.
"I'll cut them into slices. And I'll make necklaces with their guts." the redhead deadpanned as the older blinked.
"W—what ?"
"You heard me well. I'll slaughter them and force their leader to eat their flesh a few days afterward so—"
"I got it !" Elsa snapped, removing her hands from Anna's grasp. "No more details, please."
How does it feel when you know there's something that might be important, that you don't remember and that nobody can tell you about it except someone who surely is a nemesis ? When even trying to recall even the littlest clue and bringing them up, you just can't collect the slightest bit of reality ?
She couldn't describe it. It was such an odd feeling, so foreign, to know that a part of your life is missing and that you might never remember it properly. Her life had gotten so uneventful that she had never got to worry about forgetting things or not.
She would have loved to forget those dreary days.
The door burst open.
Hans immediately stood up and straightened himself, not even taking notice of the guard that was still there. Anna barely spared him a glance and ran away, bidding goodbye to her sister.
"Remember not to tell anyone all of this, Anna !" Elsa called after her, and the flick of Anna's hand was the only sign that proved she had heard her.
"Have you told her ? About—" Hans hesitantly asked as he took a step forward but immediately backed up when the guard threateningly approached.
"Are you crazy ?!" The Young Queen scolded him and dismissed the guard as she steadied herself. "Don't mention it here." she whispered through gritted teeth.
She closed the door of her bedroom and gestured for him to follow her to her study.
"She knows, yes." she began as soon as the wooden door was shut close behind them. "Well, she already knew what you told her but, now she knows everything we know." she shortened her speech, feeling uneasy with that topic.
Hans nodded.
"How did she take it ?"
"Not as bad as I thought she would. She threatened to go downstairs and slaughter him but I succeeded in making her understand that he was of better use alive than dead." she explained calmly, like it was definitely the most normal thing ever.
Not as bad as she thought... he mused and smiled lightly.
He remembered well the punch she had given him.
"I have also told her NOT to tell anyone else. You've heard it, I believe." she paused and waited for him to nod. "I order you the same. Please."
The sudden change of her tone caught him off guard. It felt odd for somebody to just say please after giving an order.
"I—I don't see the point in spreading the new." he stuttered, suddenly unsure of how to reply.
Since when did she even need his permission to order something ? As she always repeated, she was the one who takes decisions. He would feen even guiltier if he dared to betray her again.
"Good, then. The people are already worried enough about all the "unrecovered memories" thing." she declared, her voice trembling.
She still couldn't recall a thing.
I Hans had listened to himself right at this moment, he would have asked her how she did feel. But seeing her so vulnerable already yet so powerful, her decided to drop the subject instead.
"Has my family returned back to the Southern Isles ?"
"They're planning to leave by tomorrow in the early morning. Is there any problem with it ?" she inquired, seeming slightly irritated. "If you want to go back with them, it is perfectly—"
"Oh, no !" he interjected in sudden realization. "I was just asking."
His palms were hanging in the air, waiting for her reaction. It never came. Instead, he stared at her and wondered for the nth time how he could have been cruel enough to—well, you know what I mean.
It was so haunting already. He couldn't imagine how terrible things would have gotten if her had accomplished his act.
"And ... what about Anna finding out that you came to visit me without her knowing it ?" he carefully tried.
Elsa's arms slowly wrapped around her frail body and she sighed.
"She knew it. She spoke too fast, as always." she paused. "Still she was a little bit mad at me."
As always.
"Only a little bit ?" surprise flashed through Hans' peridot eyes.
"Okay. More than a little bit. It's not like you broke her heart." she snapped sharply without even realizing it. "And let her freeze to death."
You're no match for Elsa.
Hans gritted his teeth as the words sunk in. It was something none of them would ever forget, yet he didn't even understand her right then. And here they were. Alone in her study. And she had defended him albeit he was the one who—
The reality struck him straight at his heart and he stumbled backwards.
"Hans ?"
He had started all of this. Whatever had happened to Elsa was all his fault again.
What have I done?
"It—It's okay... I swear..." he muttered and grabbed the corner of the desk to straighten himself.
The young Queen raised a brow at him. She was none to be fooled so easily.
"Yeah." she deadpanned. "And I am the Princess of China."
"It's just, I—" he stopped in his tracks and corrected himself. "I just realized something, that's all." he lied, not wanting to have this conversation.
"You almost fell to the ground, Hans." Elsa insisted.
She obviously didn't want to drop it.
Well, he should have asked her.
It could be read on Elsa's face that she didn't know herself the reason why she was asking, just like when she had riden to the hut to look for him and had helped him before getting back here. And Hans couldn't be more reluctant to give her the answer she wanted to hear. The answer she thought she wanted to hear, but that she wouldn't if she knew what exactly it was.
"We have already talked together before. I hope you haven't forgotten that." she hissed.
"I haven't." he replied briefly and let go of the desk.
He interwined his fingers behind is back.
"But I shouldn't tell you."
"Oh, and why is it so ?" she smirked, arms crossed against her chest.
And he would never get used to her smirking at him. (when she seemed to be so vulnerable mere minutes ago.)
"I'm again the one who started it all." he snapped, blurting out the words like he couldn't keep them anymore, although he wanted to hide it away from her.
Her gaze dropped to the floor and she fell silent. Her lips were pressed in a thin like while she searched for words.
"Please say something." he pleaded, still staring at her.
She found none.
She chuckled instead.
"Well, at least you're not one these heartless bastards." she laughed and collapsed onto an armchair he hadn't noticed yet in a very unqueenly manner.
He leaned against the desk, uncomfortable.
"I don't find that funny." he remarked dryly. "Not at all. I don't believe I have to remind you of all I did and all that happened since I heartlessly took you away."
Confronted to her silence, he almost felt forced to keep going. Almost.
And so did he.
"I caused your sleepless nights first, then I made all those who love you worried sick, like it wasn't sufficient enough, I imprisoned you, and, although I won't say I regret it 'cause I'd be lying," he paused for a short second. "I even kissed you." he mumbled like it didn't matter, because there was so much worse at the moment, that it didn't right then.
And be because he wouldn't ever regret it.
"And by my fault, they found you." he whispered.
"Yeah, I have understood." she rolled her eyes and stated out of boredom. "You can also add that whoever-I-don't-remember beat me up, and that I lost precious memories about all of this by whichever manner they used." she added disdainfully as she sat up properly. "Listen, Hans, honestly, there are things much more serious elsewhere. It's no time to complain."
You're no match for Elsa.
(Not even emotionally speaking.)
His gaze no longer remained upon her. Instead, it was fixed on the ground underneath his feet.
He had never noticed how incredible of a woman Elsa truly was. She had been through so much pain, alone, secluded, yet she had silently given him the best chance of a new start in his life : redemption. Even if he knew he couldn't be completely forgiven for his awful acts, he would never be thankful enough toward her. She had been so understanding although she had lived alone and stayed in fear for years, she had proved herself for being an amazing human being. And she was still able to admit there were fates much worse than hers, and, consequently, than his, albeit he had endured physical and psychological pain during his whole life.
And she was so right.
He buried his hands deep into his pockets.
"There are people who deserve so much more than what they've been given." he stated emotionlessly.
Elsa's bright blue eyes looked up straight at him, deep, penetrating.
She smiled genuinely.
"I know. And I don't assume being one of them. I already have a lot, and you did, too." she assured and stood up. "We have to make the difference between not much, and nothing at all."
Hans sighed.
"You deserve so much more, Elsa. But you keep on giving chances to people who don't deserve it. After what I've done—"
(What had the former prince done ?)
And her name still felt so odd on his lips.
"When people lose everything out of pure foolishness, if no one is there to bless their life with a second chance everyone deserve - and I believe we already talked about that -, what do they have left ?"
She was standing a few inches away from him, tall, regal, and oh-so-magnificent.
He wasn't even aware she had mived from her spot. He backed up against the desk, his hands gripping it so tight his knuckles turned extremely white.
Where were the gloves ?
"Nothing, I guess..." came the soft answer Elsa had been expecting.
(And they were so close...)
"Then, even if isn't much, at least you can't say you've go nothing to hold onto." she smiles, and it slowly faded, because that smile had made its way up to her lips especially for him and couldn't remain plastered there.
She didn't know how much it actually did mean for him.
Without even being fully aware of what he was doing, he reached out a hand and laid it on her cheek. She did not pull away. She closed her eyes and buried her head in it instead. The gesture itself surprised him, and her breathing increased and became shaky.
His thumb gently rubbed her cheek, bare hands against cold skin.
Just let it go—"Elsa..." he trailed off and took a step forward.
Was the Queen even aware of what she was doing, too ?
Perhaps was she merely longing for the warmth she didn't possess, or perhapds did she not dislike the touch of his so rarely bare hands. Or perhaps did she only need somebody to open up to. Somebody that wasn't a member of her family, that wasn't the last member of her family.
She choked back her tears as she wrapped her cold hands around his wrist and stood still.
(She did try to hide it away.) In vain.
Emotions could be so complicated sometimes. Who could've guessed she would end up on the edge of tears that day, in her study, with him ? Minutes ago, she was the one to comfort him, the one to give small smiles that warmed his heart, and just then she would be the one who wouldn't be able to hold it back anymore. And who knew what exactly had caused her to become so weak all of a sudden...
She sobbed so silently that, not beign able to see her face, Hans could have thought that the light shake of her shouders displayed laughter. That would be if he was a total stranger, not aware of the current situation she was in, under different circumstances, and if his hand wasn't pressed against her wet features.
How badly did he want to take her in his arms, to tell her everything would be going to be okay albeit he couldn't even believe it himself—like he wasn't the source of it all.
His fingers slid from her cheeks to her hair and he entangled them into her platinum blond locks, bringing her face to his chest, and he rested his chin on thop of her head, his other hand around the small of her back as she gripped his shirt and held onto it for dear life.
(And he had no more hand to wipe away the tear drops he didn't want to let show.)
His interrupted breathing betrayed him too.
She lifted her face and gazed up at him, and her hands slowly reache out to wipe his tears away. He flinched at the intensity of her eyes and the coolness of her fingers, and the closeness of her tiny body.
She wiped her own tears away.
"We should save tears for moments of happiness." she stated and felt Hans' grip loosening. "A tear surely is a burst of laughter that lost its way."
She could not tell what she did feel toward him.
Compassion.
He smiled weakly.
"That's true." he replied, and albeit it was quite forced, the smile gracing his features sent a shudder down her spine.
He did not mention it. He didn't need to, she already knew he had flet it, she was envelopped tight in his warm embrace. He removed his hand from her hand and rested it on the other one, ars protectively wrapped around her waist.
Whoever it was that hurt you, they will pay for this.
(And he wouldn't let go of her.)
They didn't which one of the two of them needed it the most, but they surely enough enjoy each other's company if it meant they could speak freely. And right at this moment, they didn't even need words to express their feelings, the emotions that overwhelmed them and allowed the tears to roll down their lightly rosy cheeks.
Whose heart was frozen ?
(They would thaw it, anyway.)
Never would he have believed he would bless her presence around him, and neither would she. But for a moment they could forget the world surrounding them, and each and every problem that came along with it. There were only the two of them, alone in a locked study, in a busy castle of a fair kingdom in the middle of summer. And it was all that mattered.
He buried his nose in her silk platinum locks, and hummed her scent.
Whatever was to happen next, they would be thawing the frozen hearts.