a/n YAAAY! Next chapter! YAAAY! Not to mention I finished my homework…YAAAY! And it's not super late!! That's a rarity…now I shall write about another cats death…haha…that sounds weird…
Disclaimer: I'm bored…AND I'M WRITING THIS…therefore, I DO NOT own the Twilight saga…other than my own copy of each book, and a copy of The Host…
KITTY KILLER!
It was yet another day, not July 12 th, though, and someone was having fun with her little kitty…
DING DING DING! You got it right! Rosalie!
…oh, you said Alice? Oh…well…BZZZT! WRONG!
ON WITH THE STORY!
So Rosalie was playing with Sanjaya's bro, one that was considered a red-headed dorky kitty with glasses-shaped spots around his eyes, that she loved because it was so inferior to her yet not a human.
She had to leave kitty soon, she was getting thirsty, and the only one that would be home would be Jasper.
You may be thinking now, HOW STUPID CAN THE CULLENS GET!? but alas, it's because I need the funniness…
Jasper tried to ignore kitty…knowing something would go wrong…
But alas, kitty wanted attention…stupid cat…coulda lived…
Jasper was ticked at kitty, and stuck kitty into a bag for the fun of it, closing the top of the bag.
The rest of the day, he had fun alone…
When Rosalie got home, she was bored of kitty and didn't even realize it was missing, cuz she and Emmett had decided to…have fun in their room…alone for a whole week.
A week later…
Rosalie and Emmett were out hunting, Jasper had hunted after everyone else came home, and forgot about the cat.
This was until…
To Be Continued…
WRONG STORY AGAIN!
Sigh…I can never get it right…
I'm sure you will, sooner or later…
I've been doing this for 10 years!
…Ok…then I feel sorry for you…have fun…
BACK TO THE STORY
Twas was the night before the day after the day above…
Aka, the day above…
When Alice shouted quite loud, in fact.
She ran to Jasper. Growled and hissed and growled some more.
Some people believe she grew 100000000 times scarier that day…
WAIT A SECOND! That sounds like a mix of Christmas things…
Ok, so she did grow scarier that day to Jasper.
She then took the bag behind her back, with the dead kitty in it, and beat Jasper with it until it broke.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY KITTY!! THE CLOSEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO A KID!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Rosalie yelled, remembering again that she was supposed to care where kitty was.
With this, Alice and Rosalie decided to beat up Jasper, tear him up, put his shredded parts each on one of those things on the Great Wall of China, you know, those things that castles sometimes have? The ones that go up and down box style? Yeah…those…
A month later, Rosalie saw Jasper walk into the yard, ran to him, pretended to hug him, as if sorry, and stabbed her newly-manicured nails into his back. She then sighed and wished that he was a human like Mike! Then she could kill him easily for killing kitty…
Then Emmett came in and said…
"Who named the cat after an Am Idol star?"
Rosalie learned: don't get close to a kitty, cuz Ja-Jas-Ja-Jasper will ju-us-ust kill hi-im.
Translation; don't' get close to a kitty cuz Jasper will just kill him.
Grave:
Her lies Clay Aiken
May he rest in peace, and…
May no more kitties in his family be killed because they were bored and wanted to play with Jasper
a/n noooow now now…like it? Love it? Want to kill me? Burns your eyes out? Makes you cry of boredom? Are you now planning suicide cuz it was so horrible? Or did I do good?