Dreams of a Wounded
Heart©
Chapter Twenty-One: Happiness is Temporary
By
Genevieve Lee
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Small, but strong, hands pushed with unexpected strength against my shoulders. I shook them off as I rolled over, away from the persisting force.
"Madeleine! Madeleine! Wake up!"
I groaned and dug deeper beneath the covers. I heard a deep chuckle from the other side of the room. "It looks as if she wants to sleep longer."
I silently asked Erik to call Susan off, but instead, I felt those little fingers wrap around the edge of the blanket and yank it off me. I brought my legs up at the sudden cold. My hands instinctively reached down to try and pull the covers back, but they were obviously out of my reach.
"Maddy! You have to get up!"
I opened one eye, annoyed at the disturbance. Next to me, Susan sat cross-legged on the bed. She gave me a grin, revealing where some of her baby teeth were missing. I smiled and closed my eye again.
"No! Madeleine!" My cousin sounded quite distressed.
I kept my grin on as I pretended to be asleep. I made fake contentment noises and rolled away from her.
"You can't go back to sleep!" She squealed. She poked me, hitting one of my ticklish spots, which sent a stifled giggle out of my lips. I heard her suck in a gasp. "You're not sleeping!" She then launched herself at me and we had a tickle fight for a few minutes, one of which I won.
"Maddy! Maddy, stop! You win!" She said, squirming away from my fingers. We both had tears in our eyes from laughing so much. At her surrender, I leaned back on my calves, brushing my hair away from my face. Remembering Erik, I looked over but saw he was no longer there. He had probably gone out to start our breakfast as soon as our battle had begun. My eyes felt heavy with sleep, but I shook it off. One look at the small, ticking clock on my nightstand told me it was time to get up.
"Let's get ready for the day, shall we?"
Susan agreed and I sat her on the divan and brushed through her dirty blonde hair. Unlike a lot of girls, her hair was very straight. It was not unruly and frizzy, and when I finished brushing it out, it shined. I couldn't find the courage to pin it all back, as a woman of society should, but instead I compromised. I pinned half of it back and left the rest flowing over her shoulders. Susan then went to get dressed, and I then attacked my mane of hair. I really wanted to cut it. It had gotten long, almost to my elbows. I did not feel like dealing with it today, so after I brushed it with exactly one hundred strokes, I pinned it back at the nape of my neck.
I felt particularly optimistic today. I could not place why. I practically skipped to the door, making Susan erupt in giggles. I opened it and continued walking merrily out. After a moment though, it hit me. Why I was so happy. I remembered the talk I had had with Erik last night, about his past (though I was sure he had skimmed over the top) and how I finally knew everything. There were no more secrets between us! And we still loved each other. Last night, he had asked me if I would allow him to take Susan and I to England, away from my parents and Jason. I had whole-heartedly agreed. I glanced down the hall, and seeing that he was not there, I gave a little happy twirl, my skirt circling my ankles, wrapping around them before falling back into place.
Susan hung back, not really knowing what to make of my mood. She probably couldn't tell whether I was happy or psychotic. I was probably both. "Silly Susan." I grabbed her hand and forced her to walk with me down the hall. She smiled shyly as we made our way into the kitchen. Our food was already set up, and I was briefly reminded on my early imprisonment here. My food had always been set out to avoid unnecessary socializing. But I could hear Erik in his music room, so I thought nothing of it.
I nibbled on some bacon and toast, but found I wasn't hungry. I waited for Susan to finish before I began cleaning up. I stored the leftovers, mostly mine, and washed the dishes before placing them back into their proper place. I turned around, and saw that in the ten minutes I had been cleaning, Susan had disappeared.
"Susan?" I heard my voice echo off the walls and come back to me. I listened carefully for a response, but I heard none. Directed at me, anyways. If I listened closely enough, I could hear voices coming from the other room. I followed them straight to the music room. The door was cracked, so I held my breath and carefully peaked through the opening. What I saw surprised me.
Erik was sitting next to Susan awkwardly on the piano bench. He seemed to not what to do with himself, but Susan seemed perfectly content to sit there with him. I saw her look up at his face.
"You taught yourself?" She asked in an awed voice.
"Yes. I was never offered a tutor."
"Oh! Will you teach me?"
At a familiar subject, I saw Erik relax. "Well, yes, if you would like!"
She nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes!"
"Then let's have a short lesson now, shall we?"
I smiled so big, my cheeks protested with a slight pang of pain, but I ignored it. I backed away from the door, making sure not to make a noise. I left them alone to their lesson.
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"I do believe it was a left here. Am I right?" I looked at Erik. He opened his mouth to answer, but I held up my hand again. "No, do not answer. I must figure this out myself." I took the left, going with my first instinct.
Erik had told me he had to leave for a week to make our plans in England, and I had promised to stay in his home while he was away, not leaving unless it was an emergency. He had grudgingly agreed Brenda could stay with me. He didn't seem to like this idea all too well, but I convinced him that she was completely trustworthy. I also felt bad for neglecting her these past few months. A week alone would do our friendship some good. But all of this was under one condition. I had to be able to navigate the tunnels alone. Of course, I was not supposed to leave unless there was an emergency, but if there was, he would rather me know my way, instead of walking head-first into one of his many traps.
So far his idea was not going well.
I came to a six-part fork, and I knew I had never seen this part when he had slowly walked me through the pathway. "Bloody hell! I did it again!" I complained, stomping my foot. I had used completely improper language, but with Erik, I did not care.
Erik looked angry. He was obviously not comfortable in leaving me if I could not even make it halfway to his lair without his help. It took another four times, but I had finally made it. He then tested me three more times, just to make sure I had not gotten there by sheer luck. When he felt I had proved myself, we finally returned back to his home Brenda was watching Susan. My feet ached from the training, but I ignored their throbbing and decided to spend a little while alone with Erik before he left later that night.
I sat snuggled beneath his arm on the divan, Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" opened on my lap. I had always loved her work, but had yet to get my hands on this particular book. Lucky for me, Erik had it in his library. He had his own book opened, though it was in a language I could not understand, so I did not inquire about it. I flipped open to the first chapter and I sighed in contentment as I began to read.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
I wanted to laugh out loud. How true this sentence was. Miss Austen was very gifted with the way she told her stories, always using the truth that somehow related to anyone who cracked open her book's spine. I only made it until about chapter three before my eyes began drooping shut. Erik must have noticed me dozing off, probably because my head had fallen onto his shoulder, and he nudged me back into consciousness.
"Come, you are tired. Would you like me to carry you?"
I shook my head against his shoulder before lifting it up and yawning. I did not want to go to sleep, because I knew that when I woke up, Erik would be gone and I would not see him for seven more days. But I knew I had left Brenda and Susan alone for too long, so I complied and stood, feeling a little dizzy from the sudden movement. I stumbled slightly, but Erik's strong hand's steadied me. I shook my head, trying to regain my balance. Begone. After a moment, I turned to Erik and gave a sad smile.
"I'm going to miss you." I said with all honesty.
He opened his arms and I willingly went into them. He finally seemed assured of my love for him. He held me against him, and I could feel him rest his unmasked cheek on top of my head. "I will miss you too."
"Seven days?"
"Seven days."
Oh, how would I get along for seven days? That was one hundred and sixty-eight hours! At least I had Brenda and Susan to keep me company. If I were to stay down here alone for a week, I believe I would rip my hair out because of sheer boredom.
I leaned my cheek against his chest and heard his heartbeat. After a moment I pulled away. "Will you be gone in the morning?"
"Yes, I am leaving in two hours time."
I knew he had to get things prepared, and so I pulled away, stood on my tiptoes and gave him a chaste kiss. "I love you, but I must get back to Brenda and Susan." His eyes shined with adoration as he looked down at me.
"I love you too." He nodded and I pulled away from him reluctantly. "Oh, Madeleine?" He called after me once I reached the door. "Please do not leave while I am gone. I will have Madame Giry check on you in a few days to be sure you are getting along fine."
I nodded before walking out the door, fighting off the urge to embrace him again. When I opened the door I saw the most darling thing. Brenda and Susan were snuggled together on my bed, both sound asleep. I suppose it had been a trying day for all of us. Luckily, all three of us were fairly small; especially Susan, and we could all fit, if a little snug, on my bed. After I changed, I laid down next to Susan and fell into a dreamless slumber.
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Within the course of the next few days, an idea began to formulate in my head. I did not know what to think of it myself, so I went to the person I always went to when I got crazy ideas: Brenda.
"Alright. Well what is this new idea in your head, now?" She smiled to let me know she was teasing.
I grinned back. "Well, I do not want to disappear as Erik wants me to. I do want to say goodbye to my family, just so they know what has happened to me. Erik will never let me though. So while he's gone--"
"—You want to tell your parents you are not marrying Jason?" She finished.
Sometimes I thought Brenda and I had the same mind. "Exactly." I breathed the word. I waited for her opinion on the situation.
"Well," She began. "It could work. What is the least that can happen? Leave, tell them, and come right back. Erik cannot be angry if you are alright."
I nodded, but all the while knowing Erik would be furious with me. But the person I really needed to talk to was my brother. The one person in my family I trusted. I had to tell him what was going on. I still wanted to keep in contact with him, and he would understand. He would probably offer to buy my ship ticket. I could not leave without giving him the chance to remain in my life. "I suppose it is quite harmless. If I go, will you watch Susan?"
"Of course." She grinned. "We are having quite a lot of fun working on a painting together."
I smiled, and thanked her, then went to compose a letter to my brother. If I did not have the chance to speak with him, I had to be prepared. I wrote it out carefully, telling him what had been going on the past few months, and that I was leaving soon with Susan. I knew Susan's mother lived in England, and I planned to return Susan to her. I had no doubt she would side with me once I told her why I had to "kidnap" Susan. She would not speak a word of it to my parents.
I finished with telling him that I loved him, and that as soon as I was settled, I would write him again. I signed it, and let the ink dry before folding it into an envelope. I tucked it into the pocket of my cape before making my way out. I had already fabricated a lie of why I was gone the last few days.
It turns out I did not need too. Jason had not returned that following morning with the gendarmes. He had business to attend to in a town close to Paris. He had probably forgotten. I snorted at the thought. But it made things for me easier. My parents still did not know what was going on, and so my escape would be that much easier.
Of course I was scolded for calling on them without an invitation or even a notice, but I convinced them I had a very important matter to discuss: my wedding. This ruffled my mother's feathers and she ushered me into the tearoom, my father in tow. We made small talk for a while, about the weather and how things were at the opera and at home. But finally, my father requested I tell why I had come. I took a deep breath.
"I am afraid I am going to have to cut off my engagement with Monsieur De'lorme."
I glanced up slowly, concerned about what my parents' reactions would be. They sat close to one another on the small divan, and were even closer when they glanced at each other to see what the other thought. I sighed as I looked down at my teacup.
"Well, quite frankly darling, you have already been promised to him." My father said as he looked at me.
My head shot up and I glared at him. "So, a promise is worth more than your daughter's happiness?"
"It is not that dear--" My mother tried to interject.
"Oh, yes. How could I forget?" I said bitterly. "I forgot that you sold me to him, and there is no way out of it. Is that it?" My anger was getting higher, fast.
Their silence was answer enough for me.
I shook my head as I set my teacup down with trembling hands. "How is this fair to me?" I asked softly. "Why do I not get a say in my own life?"
At this point, my father had had enough. He slammed his cup down and stood, walking over to me. It was obvious where I gotten my temper. "You ungrateful child! Do you know how many women would trade places with you to end up with someone like Jason? All you have done is give us grief!" My father bellowed, loud and clear, making the nearby servants fidget with awkwardness.
I abruptly pushed away my teacup before standing up, facing my father. "If there are so many women who want to marry him, then let them have him! I want nothing more to do with him! Have you seen the way he treats me?" I looked at my mother. "You told me you did not want to marry Father! You told me! If you could change it, would you? If you could marry someone you love rather than be forced with someone you do not even know would you do it, Mother?"
As my father glanced at my mother in surprise, she looked down at her lap; a look of shame crossed her face. I took this as my sign to continue. "Why are you going to subject me to a life you know I will hate? If I must go through with this, I will be miserable for the rest of my life! Can you live with that on your conscious?" By now I was crying.
My father's face had become beat red, and for a moment I regretted everything I had said. It was silent for a few more moments, and at that time, I imagined Erik, and how crushed he looked when he found out I was engaged. I had to do this; if not for me, then for him. I felt my strength flicker back and I looked nervously at my father.
"After what you did to me for all those years, it is the least you could do." I spat, venom dripping with every word that came from my mouth.
Shocked silence followed my little confession and my father looked furious. My mother looked up at me and as she raised a dainty hand to her chest said, "I have no idea what you are talking about."
"No!" I screamed at her as I lifted my hand and pointed accusingly at her. "You knew about it and you did not do a thing! You just turned your cheek and acted like it didn't happen! Well guess what Mother? It did." I paused and took in a shaky breath, before continuing in a softer tone. "I am sorry I am the daughter you are ashamed of. I am sorry I cannot be the person you want me to be. But, I love somebody else. I will not live a life when in the back of my mind, 'what ifs?' haunt everything I do."
"You will do as I say. I am your father! I raised you to be what you are. And do not think, Madeleine Annabel Taylor that you can just throw it all away for someone you supposedly 'love'."
"What is love, anyways?" My mother continued, making a questioning noise as she walked closer to me. "Can you explain that to me, Madeleine?"
I paused as I took a deep breath. "Love is when your heart beats quicker when you see the person coming towards you. When you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him and know that if you do, you will enjoy every moment of it." I paused as I turned to look at my mother, who was now standing in front of me. "Love, Mother, is what you and Father never had."
A slap echoed across the room like a gunshot. I clutched my stinging cheek and looked over at my mother, who was rubbing her left hand.
"Don't you ever say that to me, Madeleine! I had a choice of marrying for love or marrying your father all those years ago! But let me tell you something, marriage is not about love. Marriage is something that is going to keep you secure for the rest of your life. I have never regretted my decision to marry your father! Can you not see that what we are doing is the best for you?"
"For me or for you?" I challenged as I began backing up towards the door. "I cannot be the person you want me to be." I shook my head. "I won't."
"Madeleine, you are shaming this family. You--"
"No!" I screamed as I shook my head furiously. "You cannot make me." I slipped off Jason's engagement ring and set it gently on one of the tables. "I will not marry Jason." And with that, I turned and ran from the room.
"Madeleine!"
"Let her go! We will punish her later!"
They continued talking but I did not hear what they said, because at that time I was out the door and running down the walkway. I was now sobbing uncontrollably as I reached the edge of my yard. But I did not stop running, I couldn't.
I ran until I was all the way down the street, where I sat on a patch of grass to catch my breath. I felt something poking my bodice as I leaned forward and I snatched whatever it was from its hiding place. I saw it was the folded paper Brenda had give me to read once I had finished standing up to my parents. She had told me it related to me, and that she hoped it helped. With trembling hands, I opened the paper and began reading.
Madeleine,
I am so glad you found the courage to stand up to your parents, something many ladies have never done. I hope this quote will help you give the strength you need. I love you Maddy, and you are my dearest friend.
I smiled through my tears as I leaned the paper towards the moonlight so I could read the quote below.
"Remember the ladies, and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors! Do not put so much unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to form a rebellion." -Abigail Adams
You have begun the rebellion and bravo for that Madeleine! I do believe it is time for Jason to gracefully bow out.
-Brenda
I gave a laugh, despite myself as I finished Brenda's letter. I folded it up and tucked it back into my bodice. I then stood up on my shaky legs, and began walking towards the opera house, determined to take my next step into my new life.
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Genny's Note: I actually wrote the whole confrontation thing before I even posted chapter one. So I had about half my chapter done before I even started! Woo hoo! Anyways, thanks to the rain and a Friday night, I was able to get this chapter done quite quickly. So please reward me with a review (: