A/N: "The Soldier in the Grave" is a great ep, but also a difficult one to write about. (See a pattern developing here? Anyone still wondering why I'm dragging my feet finishing the series?). Patriotic! Booth is very hard to write when it comes to BB…
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"And somebody to use this place to protest the war just pisses me off. These are the lives that gave them that right. These men, they should be respected."
"If they were really respected, maybe not so many of them would be buried here."
"Are we gonna get into somethin' here, Bones?"
Seriously, Bones, don't go in there. I have enough with the crap people like Hodgins spew without really knowing what they're talking about. I don't need your kind of scientific crap. I don't want to know that wars are the anthropological response to some kind of fucking shit or other. We soldiers do what we have to do. We follow orders, and most of the time, we don't follow them cause we have to. We follow them cause we believe that what we are doing is right. And sometimes, that belief is the only thing that keeps us sane… or alive.
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"You know, I'm just gonna be asking his mother a few questions. You could've stayed there and played with your bones."
"I know. Just wanted to keep you company, that's all."
I want to believe you Bones, I really do. Somehow, I need to believe that you believe in me… in us. But I know how that squint mind of yours work. And you're coming with me cause you don't think I'm going to be looking for the truth and that I'll settle for whatever passes as "justice" for the State Department.
I'm not stupid Temperance. I can understand why you are worried. I'd be worried if I were you. You're being the rational voice here; I'm the one who could be biased. But, then again, you could have listened to conspiracy theories one time too many and I… I could just simply be doing my job.
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"I'm your partner. Let me be your partner."
Partner… you want to be my partner, Bones? For real? Do you think you can handle my nightmares as well as my dreams? Will you share in my desires? Do you dare burn in with me… for me? I believe in equal share partnerships, Bones. That means you'll be doing as much giving as you'll be taking… are you sure you can manage that if I let you be my partner?
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"So now you're a mind reader."
"Maybe. You want me to guess your weight?"
"You do and you could loose a tooth."
You are a riot, did you know that? Only you would come up with an answer like that. And how come your weight is a sensitive issue? I would never consider you a vain woman, and yet you threaten physical harm if I take a guess at your weight? Unbelievable.
Actually, I don't need to read you mind to know that. I've held you, remember? Not for long, mind you, but enough to know that we could engage in vertical sex and I would live to tell the tale. Or rather, my back would. To crass for your taste? So sorry. Would you have preferred it if I'd say I want to fuck you against the wall? It doesn't matter how I say it, Bones. It doesn't matter how much you weigh, actually. Neither one changes the fact that I want you. I want to feel you around me. A tooth seems like a reasonable price to pay for that.
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"I'm sorry Bones; I can't let you do this."
"I'm not asking for your permission, Booth. I can get the court order on my own. I was just kind of hoping for your support."
Fine. Be a bitch if you want. So much for wanting to be my partner…
I'm just warning you Bones: you don't want to anger me like this often. I might do something I'll be regretting later on.
And violent sex is not how I envisioned our work relationship to end with.
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"Well, people will always surprise you."
"That hasn't always been my experience."
You surprise me, Bones. One minute you come across as heartless and the next you do something that's totally kind.
"I've done some things…"
"I know."
"No, no you don't."
Please, Temperance, don't interrupt me. If I don't tell you know, I never will. And if I don't tell you, who am I going to tell?
"I have to be able to tell someone."
I have to be able to tell you…
"It's never just – It's never just the one person who dies, Bones. Never. Never."
"We all die a little bit, Bones. With each shot, we all die a little bit."
I know. Half of me is dead already. You're been bringing me back my humanity piece by piece, but I'm afraid I'm so half gone that I can remember how to be human again. I want to be able to feel, I want to be there for Parker, to be a good father for my son, to be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life and not be stuck in a dark, cold place. You help me fight my demons…
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Temperance Brennan sat there in silence, feeling at a loss as to what to do. Booth, her partner, her friend, had just poured out his heart and gave her a glimpse of the skeletons in his own closet and was now sitting next to her, head buried in his hands. The slight tremor of his shoulders told Brennan that he was either crying, or trying his damned best not to do so.
Her rationale indicated her that words were not really necessary at the time, and for that she was grateful, as she tended to say the wrong thing at the worst possible times. She also knew that some sort of action was expected from her. A soothing action? A nurturing gesture? A friendly pat on the shoulder and the hand? Hugging? Do you hug a guy who's finally broken down after years of keeping his dark secrets to himself?
No matter how she thought about it, nothing seemed quite adequate.
And in the end, it was not her brain but her heart, who took charge. She gently took his face in her hands, and without thinking about it, she kissed off the unshed tears from his eyes, first the right one, then the left one. And then, almost as an afterthought, she brushed her lips against his.
He had stiffened at the feel of her hands, frozen upon her touch on his lids, and thawed when her mouth touched his…
He buried his face on her shoulder and allowed her to comfort him and chase his demons away. They stayed there, holding unto each other, until well after everyone else had gone, and the first shadows of the night surrounded them.
And for the first time in many years, Seeley Booth felt safe in the dark.
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A/N: This came out kinda angsty, don't you think?