Author's Notes:
As always, I've only borrowed from the original writers and producers. They still retain full copyright privileges over their works.
Reviews and helpful suggestions are always appreciated and can spark conversations. Behaving like a troll or posting as "Guest" will be reported to the PTB or garbaged as necessary.
I have to apologize to my readers. While I've just had a three-day weekend (Being a Canuck, it's Canada Day or Dominion Day for those over 40 years of age), I wound up plowing my way through Sinyk's "Angry Harry and the Seven", and DaSalvatore's "Son of Potter, Daughter of Black, Child of Evans". Both are recommended by me as great reads but "Angry Harry", chapter21 (First Prank), resulted in a mind-worm being spawned and I'm trying to figure out whether or not I can sneak a variant of it into this story. Yes, Harry goes "dark" and the ultimate Dark Lord from the Muggleverse. Comments are appreciated on whether or not it is possible and how it may be carried off.
_oooooo_
Great Hall, Wednesday, September 27th, 1995, approximately 12:15PM
Minerva McGonagall lay on the Harry Potter Bedstead with her hands clasped behind her head, and glanced at Poppy Pomfrey, who was lying on the adjacent bed, with her hands tucked under her head as she lay on her side and looked at her friend.
Minerva sighed and whispered "I can't believe that that I did it and that I said it, Poppy."
"You ever see the muggle movie 'When Harry Met Sally' and they were in the restaurant having lunch and discussing faked orgasms, and then she did one, a faked orgasm? You were definitely channeling Meg Ryan at that moment. Well, everything except for pounding on the table and the lady at the next table asking to have whatever you had had."
Minerva rolled and faced her friend and confidant. "You're going to have to smuggle a copy in and we'll watch it. How much longer am I going to be here?"
"Same as I told you ten minutes ago - until morning. You can get out of here in time for breakfast and then you have a session with Misuzu Saotome before you'll be allowed to go back to teaching."
Professor McGonagall sighed again. "It's stupid but I have this pull that won't let me relax and get some sleep."
"Yes, Minerva, it's the Honeymoon Spell making you want to be up close and personal with Harry."
"I know, but how are the girls taking it? I mean Harry's gone and ... And ... And..."
Poppy sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "That's it. You're going to get a Draught of Living Death. The heck with Dreamless Sleep." She stood up and walked over to the potions cabinet, pulled out a vail, signed the clipboard scroll, came back and tossed the vial unto the bed beside Professor McGonagall. "Here you go, Minerva. One swig and you'll be out for about five hours. Save the rest for tomorrow night."
Professor McGonagall looked at the vial, flipped the lid, took a quick sip and sealed the vial just as the potion kicked in and she collapsed like a puppet whose strings had been cut.
"Good!" went Miss Pomfrey. "I can get some sleep myself, now." She lay down on the other bed, waved her hands and the lights in the room dimmed. Within moments, nothing came from the infirmary except for the deep breaths of the two slumbering women.
_oooooo_
Great Hall, Wednesday, September 27th, 8:30AM
Ron Weasley spotted the approach of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson first, and put his fork and knife down on the edges of his plate and glared at them, wishing that they'd just go away.
Harry and the girls caught the scene of Ron stopping eating and looked over their shoulders at the approaching Slytherins. The Twins and Neville, as well as Harry's otehr dorm-mates, all stopped and regard the approaching pair.
They stopped about five feet from the Golden Trio and Draco appeared gto hesitate, receiving a sharp elbowing from Pansy before he gathered himself and executed a formal short bow.
"I apolgize for intruding on your meal, but I am here as an acquaintance if not a friend, and not as a house rival. Weasleys, Potter. I realize that Misses Wheasley and Minazuki are still in the Infirmary and there is no comment beign made about their condition, so I am asking you to pass along our and our House's wishes for a speedy recovery."
Harry looked back at Ron and the Twins. Ron stood up and executed the same short bow that had come from the Slytherins. "On behalf of our family and our House, I thank you and will pass along your best wishes at the earliest opportunity."
Draco nodded back and said "Thank you, Ronald, Fred, George. Actually, I have a second purpose that is tied to recent events, and which may apply to Misses Weasley and Minazuki. Can I discuss this with Harry in private?"
Harry stepped backwards over the bench and regarded Draco. "I'd rather we did it here in the open. "I'd rather that everything be out in the public. If this is something that absolutely cannot be talked about except in private, then I'd like to have both of the Headmasters in on that conversation."
Nodding in agreement, Draco said, "my mother had sent me an owl yesterday and Pansy reminded me of the situation this morning as this might be the situation with either of Misses Weasley and Minazuki. There might be a betrothal agreement in place for any of the young ladies, including Miss Granger. I'm leaving Miss Myrtle out of the discussion due to her death which would have negated any betrothal agreement that may have been in effect at the time. Sorry, Myrtle."
Myrtle smiled and dipped her head. "None taken, Mister Malfoy. Harry, this can be an absolute mess. This happened when I was just about to come to Hogwarts and everyone was talking about it. Two Houses almost came to a blood feud before it got resolved. It's that serious."
Neville chimed in. "Myrtle's right, Harry. Considering that you're from an Noble and Most Ancient House and are the Designated Heir of another, you need to nip this in the bud before it winds up in the Daily Prophet or similar rag. You need to find out if anyone has a betrothal agreement and what the details are, then contact the parents on both sides of the agreement or the parents of the lady in question if there isn't..."
Neville's attention and everyone else's was distracted by the arrival of the morning delivery flock. This time, it was not just a flock or a parliament, but looked to be just about every owl found in England putting in an appearance. The presence of red envelopes hanging off of the legs of most of them had Professor Snape standing and pointing his wand and shouting "Howleri Vanishio!" The majority of the owls peeled off and headed for the windows and the owlery. The remainder headed for their intended recipients with a half-dozen or so lined up where Harry was previously sitting, all standing with one leg extended.
Harry stepped back and grabbed a plate of bacon from the center of the table, and worked his way down the line, muttering the item to himself as well as anyone else within earshot, "Daily Prophet... Ministry of Magic... Ministry of Magic, again... Ministry of Magic, AGAIN!...letter from solicitor... letter from Bill Weasley."
The first four owls received extra treats of bacon and were dismissed, the other two took their extra treats and remained, obviously instructed to wait for a reply. Harry took a quick glance at the Daily Prophet, blanched and slammed the paper face down on the bench and looked at everyone else, who were now holding their copies and were looking at him in horror.
Harry grabbed the letters from his solicitor and Bill Weasley and opened them simultaneously. He blanched again and then grabbed the notepad and quill in his robe pocket scribbled a quick response to each folded them and tied them to the owls' legs and gave them an additional double strip of bacon, then picked them up. "Fly high, fly fast!" and tossed them both into the air. They departed, bolts going into the blue, scattering the remaining incoming owls like hawks going through flocks of chickens.
Hermione and Myrtle reached out and pulled Harry's Daily Prophet in front of them and flipped it over.
Potter Continues Despoiling Rampage at Hogwarts!
Not Even Staff Is Immune!
Female Students Now Perform Obscene Acts For His Entertainment!
They flipped the paper back and looked at Harry, who was now sitting down, opening the letters from the Ministry of Magic, scanning them and flipping them on the table while he proceeded to the next one. They snuck a quick look at the letters: "Congratulations on Your Magical Marriage" was enough for them and they sat down on either side of Harry and hugged him.
"A-hem! Ah-hem! Mister Potter?" came a quiet voice from in front of them.
They were surprised to see an actually concerned-looking Miss Umbridge twiddling her fingers and looking embarrassed. "I'm not sure exactly what is going on but Headmaster Snape gave me this to give to you. I'm also going to go back to my office and put pressure on the contacts that I have as to why you now have five magical marriage announcements. I'd also like to apologize for my behaviour and attitude recently. I'd have to be a total idiot not to see that you are not how the Daily Prophet and the Minister have been saying that you are."
Harry looked up and shrugged. "Thank you, your apology is accepted, Miss Umbridge. Can you please light a fire under them and get a response quickly? I'm going to be talking to my business managers and solicitors today and your input on the matter would be greatly appreciated."
She smiled tentatively and extended a small note to Harry. "This is a pass for the floo system plus a three-day absence. Before he stormed out of her, Headmaster Snape said something about this situation being intolerable and gave me the note, then said that he'd be in the Infirmary and that you could leave whenever you needed. I'd also like to say that I'll cover any additional absence and make sure that you get your missing notes and assignments."
Neville stepped forward. "I'll make sure of that, Harry. You really need to get to your solicitor and bankers first." He draped his arms around Harry's shoulders and hugged, not caring how it looked unmanly.
Malfoy stepped forward and slapped his hand on Harry's shoulder as well while Pansy reached out and gave his a quick hug. "Don't go all Gryffindor right off of the bat, Potter, Listen to Longbottom; he's right about this. Once you have a plan of action, then you can go all Gryffindor."
Harry gave a weak smile and looked at everyone. "Thank you all. There's a meeting at my solicitor's offices in about an hour. I just need to change my clothes and I'll get going."
"Nonsense!" went a voice from behind harry and he turned, seeing the Minato contingent standing there, one of whom had here wand out and pointed at Harry. "Transfiguro, Comfortable business attire!" she went and snapped her wand at Harry and the girls, who now found themselves in modern business suits. "There, all ready and here's a bento box for each of you to eat on your way there! We'll take care of everything else, so just go and do what you have to." She pointed to the entrance to Great Hall.
Harry took the boxes while Neville gathered the Daily Prophet and the Ministry letters plus the other owl notes and placed them in a case and handed the case to Harry.
Harry turned and with Myrtle and Hermione matching his steps, headed for the nearest floo fireplace while everyone else in the room stood and quietly applauded.
_oooooo_
Gringotts Bank, Wednesday, September 27th, 9:00AM
Bill Weasly was standing in the main lobby when the floo fireplace exploded in blue flames and Harry, Myrtle and Hermione tumbled out and across the marble floor. The goblin guards immediately stepped forward with weapons and the ready and then relaxed when they saw who it was and then assisted the Potter threesome to their feet.
Hermione smacked the hands of the the goblin who was trying to brush the soot off of her clothes and gently pulled out her wand and did a quick "Vanashio" on herself and then rescued Myrtle and Harry from the other goblin guards' heavy-handed attempts at being helpful. At least, that's what she decided they were doing and not simply copping quick feels at the expense of the magicals. "OK, OK! We're all right now. Harry, I told you that you were using way too much floo powder. Enough already! We're OK and you don't need to keep helping us, thank you very much" The last bit was growled out and angrily directed at the guards, who bowed, smirked and then returned to their guard stations, their very attitude and swaggering definitely saying that they'd been groping as much as helping.
Bill stepped forward, feeling embarrassment at what he'd just witnessed. Hermione caught his expression and jumped to a conclusion. "You saw but there's nothing that you can do, because they're goblins."
He nodded.
She looked over at the guards and caught their smirks. "Anything that I can do? Let me guess, any overt physical change or assaults, and I get my head handed to me in a basket, plus Harry gets fined big time?"
He nodded and shrugged. "Sorry."
Hermione looked at Harry and Myrtle. "I'm not going to let them get away with that. I'm going to give them their own medicine and see how they like it... Riddikulus Disguiso Ozma Winkie!" and snap-pointed her wand at the foursome by the doors.
A large flash of light surrounded the four Goblins and when it disappeared, they were still there, albeit now looking like nothing no one could remember seeing before.
"Monkey guards from the Wizard of Oz! Hey you four! Nothing overt or physical has been done, but you're going to be really, really embarrassed until it wears off!"
The goblins looked at each other and freaked. They grabbed their weapons and started to advance, until intercepted by Sharpclaw, the Potter account manager, who proceeded to yell at them in Gibberish and thoroughly cowed the foursome, who returned to their duty stations and proceeded to glare at Hermione, though one smirked and nodded his head at her and gave a quick thumbs-up gesture. Sharpclaw advanced to in front of them, hooked his thumbs into his belt and hitched his pants. "I assume that you will lift the enchantment when you leave?"
Hermione curtsied and smiled. "I won't tell you how I did it, but I will give them a Finite when we leave, esteemed sir!"
Sharpclaw nodded. "Weasley! The other parties have arrived and are waiting for you in the conference room. Don't dilly-dally. Time's money!" he said and then turned and walked away, whistling an off-key version of "If I Only Had A Brain."
Bill nodded and gestured toward the doorway that he, Myrtle and Harry had previously used. On entering the door, they found that the conference room had been expanded with a large oval table occupying the majority of the floor space and three of the seven chairs were filled.
Bill started. "Harry, may I introduce Trevor Ayre, junior partner from the law firm of Lundrigan, Crosbie and Ayre, who is your solictor for magical and non-magical issues." The gentleman on the left-hand side of the threesome stood up and bowed.
"The middle gentleman is your business manager, Niles Standish, who manages the Potter investment portfolio. The last gentleman is James Hamilton, who is the overseer for the Potter estates and other properties." Each of the remaining two stood and took a quick bow before sitting down.
Harry stared at Bill and finally asked, "Bill, you really don't know...?"
Bill looked non-plussed. "Know what? I saw this morning's Daily Prophet and realized that something needed to be done, so I invited these gentlemen to advise you in what you can do. Is what I should know related to that?"
Harry reached into his case and pulled out his copy of the Prophet, and tapped the picture of the two ladies sharing more than a hug and tapped the smaller of the two. "They blurred the pictures a bit, but that's Ginny. You can see her birthmark. Right. Here." and spun the paper around and pushed it over to Bill.
He grabbed the paper and took a good hard look at the picture, blanching and then going a shade of red to match his hair. The paper got crushed and thrown across the room. "POTTER! HARRY! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?"
Harry flopped in an open chair and looked up at Bill, who was obviously doing everything he could to rein in his temper. He dropped his head into his hands and rested his elbows on the table, sighed, and spoke slowly and softly. "I am so, so sorry, Bill, but right now, I have no idea what they were doing, only that they were in the Solar on Tuesday and got hit with whatever had nailed myself, Myrtle and Hermione on Friday last, and Minerva, er Headmistress McGonagall, and me on Monday. What Miss Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick have gleaned is that whatever was used is a combination of Imperius, Confundo and Honeymoon Spell. Even the Amazon Elder Ku Long or Cologne says that this is a nasty piece of work and is permanent as the Confundo masks the memory links of the Imperious and the Honeymoon Spell just ramps up the emotions involved to the point where ... Well, let's just say that none of the pictures have been faked and were only modified enough that you really can't tell who's face is involved. Probably just enough so that they can't get their asses sued off."
He straightened up and looked at everyone, especially the waxen-face Bill who was gradually sinking into an open chair and adopting much the same pose that Harry had just used.
"Bill and Trevor beat me to the punch, but what we need is a plan of action to make these people face justice and retribution. The school's probably already called in Auror Bones and the rest of the DMLE to take care of the howlers that I've been receiving as well as whatever the spell-trap in the Solar is. I've asked the Hogwarts house elves to stop whoever is running that trap when they next appear in the Solar."
"Miss Pomfrey had mentioned something along the lines of betrothal agreements to me yesterday, and I had two, no, three reminders that this may have placed me in danger of being accused of interfering with a betrothal. Even if no one has a betrothal or an agreement in place, there will be those who see a means of making a fast galleon or two."
Trevor stuck a finger in the air after he'd written a few fast notes on the legal pad in front of him. "Pardon my asking, but is everyone the same age as you Harry? OK, Headmistress McGonagall is 75 or so..."
Myrtle and Hermione snickered. Trevor looked at them with an eyebrow raised at their levity. Hermione stifled her snickers and quietly said "Minerva's closer to 20 or 25 right now. She got caught in an imposed glamour from Headmaster Snape during our Kareoke Sessions earier this month, and the glamour stuck. Miss Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick have looked at her and they've said that it appears to be permanent and continuing, though at a reducing rate. Current bets around Hogwarts are that she'll hit eighteen and then start aging normally."
Trevor took a quick note and looked at Bill. "Ginny's last birthday?"
"She had her fourteenth birthday back on August 11th. You were there, Harry."
Trevor made another quick note. He looked up, and asked "any... um... relations, including dates, kissing, holding hands, getting way beyond that?"
Harry shook his head. "No, we're just friends. Since they got nailed by the WHATEVER in the Solar, they've been in the Infirmary and I'm not allowed to go there."
Trevor made some more notes and nodded. "One last question for everyone: does anyone know if muggles get the Daily Prophet?"
Hermione raised her hand. "I got a subscription for my parents so they could see what's going on... Oh, crap! That means that they've seen seen today's issue! Anyway of my getting to give them a call, really, really soon?"
"Can you give me their mailing address? Here, borrow my phone while I explain what's going on to everyone else." He then extracted his cellphone, unlocked it, checked the reception and slid if across the table to her.
She grabbed the phone and headed over to a corner of the room and carefully dialed her parent's dental clinic, and then got into a quiet but animated conversation with the receptionist and then her mother.
Trevor looked around the table. "If the paper was distributed only in Wizarding Britain, we'd not really not have a hope in hell of charging them with anything - too protected by previous court cases as well as the Ministry of Magic. The fact that they are now delivering copies in the non-magical parts of Britain now makes them liable for regular British Laws to apply, specifically two: publication and distribution of child pornography. With Miss Weasley being fourteen years old, that's two years under the legal limit and if the other young lady is under 16 years of age as well, that'll just ramp up the charges and legal liabilities, especially since it appears that these pictures were taken and published without their consent."
"Plus, and here's the real kicker, the daily Prophet is now guilty of violations of the Statute of Secrecy."
He made a quick scribble on his pad and then looked at Harry. Everyone ese was snickering.
"Mister Potter, Harry, Miss Pomfrey and your friends are right. If any of the ladies in question, even including Myrtle as some canny and unscrupulous shyster will try to make piles of money by threatening a case and then accepting a buyout to drop the case, have betrothal agreements in place as of today, then you need to engage them and start discussions aimed at resolving the situation or the appearance of the situation."
"I've taken a look at your agreement with Myrtle, and that makes a good template for a nuptual agreement or a betrothal settlement. The only significant wrinkle, besides how much the settlement should be, would be if the betrothal agreement is absolute or does not have what some call an 'exit' clause, allowing the betrothal to be canceled with or without payments and under which circumstances the clause can be invoked."
"Oh, hang on. Just thought of something: has the Ministry of Magic sent you anything that says 'Congratulations on your magical marriage'?"
Harry dug into his case again and passed over the three such letters. "the ones that are missing are those for Myrtle and Hermione. I can get them for you."
Trevor nodded as he read one of the letters. "Please. Oh, this is interesting. Thewy give the exact time and date of the marriage. Which now opens a completely different avenue of attack. Not against the law but invading your privacy, especially if you are a declared Head of House. You are a Head of House, aren't you?"
Harry looked at Bill, who shook his head and answered "Designated Heir, but he's never made the declaration and assumed the role. Show Trevor your hands, Harry."
Harry extended his arms toward Trevor, who nodded and made a quick note, and then looked directly at Harry. "Before you ask, you need to have at least one Head of House or member of the Wizengamut or the Ministry of Magic present when you make the statement. Bill, how fast can we get that organized? I know that your father can fill all three of those roles. Any others that we can corral? Harry, it's not when you became a Head of House, but that you were a Head of House when legal proceedings were started. However, I will say that this will add complications to your present life."
Harry, Bill, Myrtle and Hermione hooted, with Hermione rapidly apologizing for laughing in her mother's ear and explaining a bit about what was going on in the conference room.
Trevor shook his head. "I stand corrected. I've got enough to get starting making fires under the feet of a lot of people. Niles, where do the Potters stand if we proceed without going for the Head of House option?"
Niles pulled out a sheet of paper and slid it across to Harry, who then pushed it over to Trevor. "That's Harry's trust account, showing the current level of actual and planned drawings, which includes Myrtle's income, as well as income from investments allocated as being part of Harry's trust account. What Harry's seen in his Gringotts vault is effectively the float as required by the original trust agreement. Harry, we would have to have a discussion soon about the allocation of stocks and businesses, considering that the Ministry regards you as an adult, thanks to the Triwizard Tournament as well as you're now being classified as a married man. Once you turn seventeen or are declared as Head of Houe, you will have full access to the Potter Vault."
Trevor looked up from the statement and asked, "just how much are we talking about with and without the family vault being included?"
Niles smiled. "In rough terms, as things stand now, Harry could easily afford settlements comparable to Myrtle's income without blinking. The full Potter inheritance merely moves the numbers way, way up, like three orders of magnitude. If we're talking about ten times that income for five wives, we'd drop the annual income by 25% but still not touch the principal of Harry's trust account, or any of the properties involved."
Harry started. "I have properties?"
Trevor and Niles looked over to James, who was digging through his portfolio case.
"Ah, here is the list of properties that are part of your trust account. Several are commercial buildings that are generating active rent income, which is covered in Niles's summary. The residential properties include rental housing but the key ones are the house in Godric's Hollow, which appears to have been assumed by the Ministry of Magic and preserved and I haven't been able to access it to verify the state of the cottage or its contents, a couple houses in major cities including London, Potter Manor, and several smaller locations from your mother's estate including a house in Spinner's End where she'd grown up and East Winging where your aunt and her family currently resides. There are also a number of farming estates that are being used for crops, which also figures into the first report from Trevor."
The list was passed to Harry who looked at it, quirked an eyebrow at the size of the list, and then passed it along to Trevor.
Harry looked at Trevor and asked, "is this enough for you to put together proposals and can you prioritize who I have to meet with first? Should I be communicating with the families myself or would that be you?"
Trevor looked up from his note-taking. "We should get the initial contact letters created, signed by you, and sent out today. I know that we can engage one of the families this afternoon as I ran into Laird McGonagall yesterday and I can arrange an appointment as well as raising the issue in general terms. Family honour, to be short."
Hermione walked up beside Harry and kissed him on the cheek, then gae Myrtle a quick hug before sliding Trevor's cellphone across the table to him. "Dad's very definitely not going to even look at the Prophets that they've been getting for the past week, and we will be meeting them for lunch tomorrow at the Hawth Park Harvester, and you're paying for lunch. They asked how many were going to be going them so I went for everyone and told them six. Dad said that you 'have some splaining to do' and said that I may have broken Mom. Better bring all of those Ministry letters with you and see if you can spring the others for the day as well."
A gentle knocking came from the door and a young lady's head came around its edge. "Mister Weasley, I hae to apologize for interrupting your meeting, but there's an Auror Bones who would like to talk to Mister Potter."
Everyone looked at Harry, then at Bill. Harry turned around and nodded. "I think that we've reached a breaking point. Please invite Mrs. Bones in as well as any others who are with her. Is it possible that we can get coffee, tea and snacks for everyone? Charge it to my account."
"Oh, no problem, Mister Potter. The original request included a break. I'll bring everything in in a minute."
With this, she pulled the door open and Amelia Bones strolled in, accompanied by Nymphadora (call me 'Dora') Tonks and Rufus Scrimgeour, both of whom take up positions just inside of the door.
"Ah, Mister Potter. It looks as if you've been very busy, in spite of what the Daily Prophet says."
Harry smirked and stood up, leaning back on the conference room table. "Well, actually, your arrival is quite propitious, Mistress Bones. We were in need of a Head of House or the holder of a seat in the Wizengamut or someone in an offiial capacity with the Ministry of Magic. We were waiting on the arrival of Arthur Weasley, but we can proceed with you instead if you don't mind."
Another gentle rapping came from the door, and Arthur Weasley stuck his head around the door's edge. "Anyone call for tea and snacks?"