Chapter 19: Flurries

"People like us we don't need that much

Just someone to start, start the spark in our bonfire hearts."

Bonfire Heart

Angie

Whispers had been going around La Push high school all morning, and the rumors of the last bonfire of the season being featured tonight spiked my mood, allowing me to transition easily from class to class without error. It was a smooth day, and although nothing processed academically I doubted that any of the teachers were really trying to teach. Bonfire day was the equivalent of having a four day weekend ahead of us- they merely handed the work out to be finished sometime, and then moved along.

Another two weeks had passed, Halloween having come and gone. The boys were incredibly pleased about having a break off that day, but less thrilled when their stash was running low eight times faster than usual. You could grasp that they were ravenous beasts better when they themselves cursed the enhanced trait.

Although I was pleased to find that the bonfire was tonight, I was secretly grinning wickedly to my notepad when I realized I'd finally be able to corner Sam tonight and force him to speak with Leah. Pack leader or not, he was an irresponsible and immature jerk about his personal affairs at the moment. Much as I respected the guy for being Alpha male, his decisions lately were incredibly poor.

I could remember back when we first met in elementary school, before Paul and him got along. Paul had taken a liking to Sam himself, but Sam wasn't interested in the self absorbed bad boy of the class. He started taking a more keen interest in him after Paul decided to start pranking the poor little thing, stealing his things and dipping his hand in warm water when he fell asleep in class. To most people, Sam could stand tall and look down his nose at them with an expression that made them understand they were inferior under his rank and the numbers of his pack. To me, Sam would always be the little boy who I protected from taking the brunt of Paul's attacks, after he kept me company on lonely days when Jacob was home with his older sisters after the La Push Car wreck.

After the school day ended, I packed my things and exited the school at my own pace. I planned on heading to my meadow to meditate- a weird thought, even after three months of practicing my methods and exerting my powers. To begin with I had planned to drop my backpack off at home on the kitchen table so the contents were safe, but I realized as soon as I walked in that the home wasn't as empty as I was ordinarily used to.

"Hello?" I called, keeping my shoes on as I stepped onto the dark hardwood floors along the hallway entrance. I peered into the living room, seeing nothing, and thought about stepping back and getting out of the house. If there was a stranger inside, it wasn't a smart idea to keep looking for them, unlike every horror movie would have you believe.

From the kitchen I glimpsed the back of a man, whose uniform and hair, falling forward into his face, were so familiar that I didn't for a second doubt if it was my Father or not. "Dad?"

"What‐ Oh, hey, sweetheart," The life was drained from his voice, his usual sarcastic tone lost under a thick velvet blanket. "I didn't hear you come in."

Dread filled my stomach, my throat tightening in pain. I tried to ignore my own pain and focus on the sympathy that surged through me for my Dad, "Oh, Dad. C'mere." I beckoned, stepping forward and opening my arms. He hesitated, then turned and wrapped his arms slowly around me, squeezing tight.

I didn't expect tears, or sobbing, or weakness. Just equal dependence on each other. All day I'd wondered why I'd been thinking about my Mother and I'd never even thought of the date, or the occasion. I was so young at the time, my Dad so adept at disguising how he felt, that I'd nearly forgotten why Sarah Black and Jessica Bennett had been in the car- they'd been collecting more firewood for a final bonfire event. Jacob and I had been over at the Black residence, rolling haphazardly down a high grass hill just behind the house, which now seemed small to us. It had been warm still, impressively warm for November, and the cop car was our first indication that something was wrong.

Dad must've heard about tonight's plans, and the weather had struck him with nostalgia. He hugged me even tighter for a brief moment, and then released me, exhaling through his mouth and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Kangee."

"No, no, its fine," I wondered how my voice could come out so naturally when my throat was so tight. "Really I was just dropping in to get rid of my bag, but if you want some company I can stay."

"No, no, don't you worry about me, little bird. Worrying is my job. Just be careful out there, alright?"

"Okay," I smiled gratefully, and rested my backpack on the counter. "Don't get too lonely without me here."

"Oh, never."

"Alright- Hey!"

Dad chuckled. "See you later, kiddo." He tugged my pony tail as I escaped the kitchen and tugged on my shoes quickly.

XXX

The short encounter stayed in my mind for a long while, sticking with me even as I sat myself in the center of my clearing, closing my eyes and trying to focus on my breathing. I tried to merely clear the thoughts from my mind. When that didn't work, I tried concentrating on something‐ anything‐ else.

I found myself thinking about what I'd be saying to Sam‐ possibly the only pressing thing I faced now, other than the grief that flitted through my system. Even those thoughts couldn't keep my mind from the inevitable because, consequently, the full circle of my thoughts of Sam and my memories of the boy he used to be lead me to thinking about how we became friends, tracing back to the car wreck and causing me to think about my Mom even more.

Let me tell you, trying to meditate while intensely emotional is a lose-lose situation. Meditating is all about letting everything go, disciplining your mind and letting nature lull you into a state of flawless concentration, but your concentration lies within yourself. Without any distractions I faced the harsh soreness that spread through my chest. Each beat of my heart seemed forced and ached as though the organ were shoved into a box a size too small to contain it all. I tried to let myself break concentration and restart the exercise, but realized that even step one was being shattered under the weight of the grief that pulsed through my system when my breath hitched in the middle of my "in, out" thoughts. I would've been angry about missing the opportunity to practice my skills on the last nice day La Push was bound to be gifted with before the winter season, but then I opened my eyes and focused instead on the wind that had surrounded me without my awareness.

The small trees were nearly bowing under the continuous current resonating from the ground beneath my palms, the height of the wind surpassing even the leaves of the highest tree in the circle around me. I stood, and the gust lost its intensity but still wrapped around my limbs and lifted fly away hairs, loose from my bun and upwards towards the sky.

I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my biceps in an attempt to soothe myself, but all I could think about was the last time I'd seen my Mother: The smile on her face when she pulled back from kissing me on the forehead; The nonchalance with which she grabbed the keys to the vehicle that would trap her under that damned door-

Wanting my Mom, wanting her with me so badly that I was numb to the cold and forgot to grab my jacket off of the ground somewhere behind me, I went to the only person I could think who could relate.

Jacob

Things around the house were quiet. Dad was doing his own thing, watching mechanic shows and chattering to me about how they probably didn't understand half of what I did, and about how learning from a book amounts to nothing when you look at hard earned, physical experience and yada yada yada-

Don't get me wrong. I love my Dad. But man I'm too tired to hold a conversation. He didn't seem to be looking for input anyways, and I knew why he was being so unusually talkative today anyways, though I wouldn't point it out, and he wouldn't mention why he was trying to keep his mind moving. We both mutually accepted, understood, contributed, and moved on.

However, a knock at the door pulled us both out of the norm and I was secretly grateful for the distraction. I stood up, running a hand through my cropped hair, and told Dad, "I've got it", before kicking a pair of sneakers out of the way and heading over to the front door.

I wasn't sure who I was expecting, or if I'd been expecting anyone in particular at all, but when I opened the door I wasn't expecting to see Angie.

"Hey, Jake," I felt my world settle.

"Ang? What's up?"

"I..." Immediately her hesitation caught my attention. Kangee Bennett always knew why she was doing something, what she was doing it for, and what the results might be. I could count on the fingers of my right hand how many times she'd acted without prior calculation. It was part of what made her such an amazing mechanic's companion. She looked down, and I could see the goosebumps on her arms, realizing she wasn't wearing a coat. The rest of her features remained stoic, but her eyebrows pushed together into a small crease between her eyes. Something was really upsetting her.

"You alright? Come in." I stepped aside and motioned for her to step inside. She shivered hard, probably noticing how cool it was outside as it was contrasted with the warmth inside. I wouldn't know, I didn't tend to feel cold anymore.

"Do you think we could just chill out in your room?" Her voice was hardened. "I don't want to bug your Dad."

"Sure," I answered. She headed towards my bedroom, knowing its location off by heart, and I followed soon after.

The room was dirty, with clothes of mine having apparently missed the laundry hamper and creating a well formed heap next to my dresser. My covers were in a knot at the bottom of my bed, and I wondered for a quick moment where my pillow had even been thrown before I noticed it peeking out from behind my bedroom door. If it were anyone else I would've been embarrassed by the mess, but Angie was so accustomed to the mess that she didn't even take it into consideration, so I didn't take any guilt to heart.

In fact, she even pulled out the pillow from behind the door and sat on it for a makeshift seat, with her back to my dresser. She dropped to a sitting position heavily, and leaned her head on one hand. I sat down across from her, my back to the wall, and in the back of my mind I was cautious about the small space between the both of us. If I were to change spontaneously-

An image of Emily swept through my head. I must've looked as physically uncomfortable with the thought as I mentally felt at the image, because Angie noticed.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, running her fingers through her hair and dropping her hand into her lap, seemingly more secure with worrying about someone other than herself.

I shook my head, looking out the window- a new habit, as I waited for the next shift to end. I knew that I wouldn't be running patrol for the next day- out of pity, I assumed- But I still waited diligently nonetheless. "Sam's got us all on edge with the whole transforming-into-a-giant-dog thing. It's gotten so bad that most of us have a claustrophobia quirk going on."

How she got to the heart of the problem from the two disjointed explanations I didn't know. "I suppose the room would be a bit tiny for you, in that circumstance."

"Yeah," I agreed, giving the room a once over. When I looked back into her sky blue eyes I found she was watching me intently. I was aware that she knew of our abilities and the danger that occupied our minds when our temper was tested even slightly. I felt obligated to warn her, "You know that at any point, any one of us could accidentally hurt you."

She shrugged and smiled. "I guess its possible, but I trust you won't."

She continued to look distraught, even then. I decided to jump around the inevitable "I'm fine" conversation and get right down to the painful part. "What's upsetting you?"

Again, she shrugged. Yet this time, she looked away- but not before I noticed the quiver of her lower lip. "I guess I just..."

"Quit it with the "I guess" statements, Ang. Cut to the chase. You know you can talk to me."

Silence pulsated from us, from the walls, seemingly from the very air itself, only shattered by the sound of a broken sob and her next words;

"I miss my Mom."

Her voice broke in various different places, but she made no move towards me. Instead she vouched to cringe into her arms and hide her crying face.

I couldn't say I was totally surprised with her sudden breakdown, but I hadn't seen her so broken up over the accident since the day we found out it happened. Angie was always the rock, the decided factor, always stable in everything she did, everywhere she went. She threw herself into helping out those she loved, and forced herself to the back burner because that's what she'd grown accustomed to since she was thrown into the world all but alone- her Mother gone, her Father working uneven hours depending on Seattle's cases, and all of her friends nearer to home, than to her house near the cliffs. I'd waited by her side for so long, to give back to her what she offered me the many countless times she'd soothed my rage when a rush of abandonment washed over me, a white hot liquid that made the hollowness where Motherly affection used to reside fill up so I once again felt pleasantly whole. I opened my arms to her, pulling her into my chest, and smoothed down her hair.

After a few solid minutes, between which she apologized repetitively, she finally managed to compose herself. She hiccoughed, pressing her forehead to my chest as though the light hurt her swollen eyes. "I didn't know who else to go to." She admitted.

"Yeah, well, I was always right here." I said quietly.

Her shoulders shook a bit as she chuckled half heartedly. "Don't get used to this. This is only a once in a decade thing."

I smirked to myself over her head where she couldn't see. "Sure, sure." I rubbed her back gently and rested my cheek against the top of her head. "How about you stay for dinner, and then we'll go to the bonfire together. Sound good?"

Angie nodded but didn't speak, eyes closed relaxedly while she leaned half-heartedly against my shoulder.

Angie

When I was little, I remember leaving Jacob's like a fly might remember becoming untethered from a web. I, myself, was never forced to remain in the Black's house. It was a place of solace for me, and I was more comfortable there than in my own house, on some occasions. But as a child, my heart had been snared in that house, so buried deep within the heart of the house that as I left, I could feel the heartstrings pulling in my chest back to where I belonged.

After the past year, I'd highly honed my ability to steel myself against pain, especially emotional pain. However, I hadn't realized just how excellent I'd gotten at blocking out the ties I used to cling to so intensely until I walked away from Jacob's without thinking about turning and running back inside, into Jacob's room, and curling up with him and forgetting about the rest of the night's plans.

When I got inside, Dad was sitting in the living room, watching the game with a cold drink in his hands.

"Hey," I greeted fleetingly as I passed. He responded with a grunt when I was already halfway up the staircase and turned into the direction of my bedroom. When I got in, I dropped my bag onto the bed and cursed for the billionth time since I left Jacob's for having left my jacket unsupervised in the forest. What a stupid thing to do!

My lack of a jacket had me rummaging through my closet for an alternative, which lead me to grab a pair of jeans which fit the outfit. I then noticed that I had a shirt that suited the entire outfit more and before I knew it, I had my clothes gathered on my sink and was climbing into the shower to waste an hour before the bonfire's flames would really be high.

Turning the tap off, I dressed quickly and threw on my boots. I decided to blow dry my hair before I went out into the cold to make sure that my hair wouldn't freeze over in the cold outside, and when I was done I said goodbye to my Dad and started the brief and, for once, lonely walk through the highway paths, up to the higher cliffs than the one my house stood upon.

A light flurry was cascading down from the midnight sky, creating the illusion of sparkling powder as they passed in and out of the illumination of the lamps which lit the way carefully over the rocky road. I ascended through the lightly falling snow, watching it frost the ground with a promise that tomorrow morning would be dense and unmovable, stiff and hardened in its frozen beauty. The cold nipped at my fingers, seeping through my jeans. When my phone buzzed in my pocket, my legs were half numb, and the vibration felt odd against my flesh.

Take your sweet TIME, Ang. Please.

I was about to respond to Quil when another message sent through.

It's not like Emily is making us wait for the last stragglers to get here to even think about taking out the food, or anything.

Laughing gently, I sent back: Have fun starving. Can't feel my toes, I think I might be stranded here for a while.

I was just reaching the wind into the bonfire area when I got the next text. I looked up and saw smoke billowing up into the sky, the snow disappearing behind the dark cloud and rising embers. Finally I dug out my phone from my pocket and read: Be right there.

"What?" I wondered aloud, before I heard footsteps up ahead of me. Looking up, I saw the figure jogging his way down.

"Hey, you weren't quite as far back as I figured you'd be! Up you go!" And I was thrown over Quil's wide shoulder as he towed himself and my surprised self up towards the bonfire at twice the pace I'd been keeping up previously.

"You can't just keep picking me up and dragging me anywhere, you know." I reminded him, knocking on his lower back from where I hung calmly. "Let me down! I'll piggy back you."

"Sounds good, slow poke." I rolled my eyes, but he put me down and allowed me to hop onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and adjusting my weight like my entire body mass was nothing on him. He started to jog when we got closer, and I could see the circle of people sitting around the tall crimson flames, caressing the sky and leaving heat resonated several feet either way. I was laughing when he finally stopped, and my tiny form stopped bouncing repetitively behind him with the movement of his hips like I was riding a horse, but when he dropped me to my feet I realized just how cold my toes had gotten and wobbled unsteadily. "Woah, woah." I rested my hand on his chest to steady myself, and he chuckled and brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles before ruffling my hair and leaving to the other side of the fire to sit where he'd reserved a space next to his great grandfather, one of the most respected elders in La Push. I smiled politely in the direction of the storytellers. Narrowing my eyes to see past the flames, I noticed Jacob laughing, his canines sharp and shining white in the glow of the fire as he threw his head back at something Embry had said.

Embry, I thought fondly. It was as though he heard the thought, as he looked up immediately from the papers he had resting on his lap, which he obviously had been commenting on to make Jacob laugh so genuinely. He folded the papers into the book he'd been using as a makeshift surface for writing, setting them on the ground beside the log that the tribe had transformed into a makeshift bench. The heat of the fire had kept the surface dry, and he smiled warmly as I approached to take the seat next to him.

And about five feet away, Leah stepped into the space between us and pulled me to a firm stop. "Angie."

"Hi, Leah," I greeted, looking apologetically at Embry. His smile gave a sharp turn into a slight smirk, a look I immediately recalled from a thousand memories as I know.

"About Sam, I know this is the last time that we'll be able to get him to talk. The bonfire is the one event we'll all be at, and one of the only times when you know he won't be disappearing to his little gang and leaving the majority of the tribe out. Please, please try your best to talk to him, Ang!"

I raised a hand and drew it down in a "calm down" motion. "I was already on that. Trust me, it will be tonight."

Leah sighed exasperatedly. "Alright, just try not to make me sound too desperate, or like too much of an idiot."

She was being silly, and talking about how much she wanted him back and was pained over the ordeal was clearly not the right way to go about the conversation and I knew that. Leah didn't, however, so I merely played along and said, "Sure, sure, now can I go see Embry?"

I expected an "of course" because that would've been the right way to go about the situation. I was allowed to have my own fun while the event unfolded. Instead, Leah's lips parted slowly and she maintained her grip on my arm, looking slightly over my shoulder. I turned, and saw Sam making his way towards the fire with Jared a few paces in front of him.

I sighed. "Stay here." I told her, pointing to the spot next to Embry. She nodded.

"Okay. You're the best, Ang."

"I know," I murmured as I walked out so far that the cold invaded my warm clothes, and the flames of the bonfire weren't touching my frigid bones anymore. "Sam."

He paused, standing in front of me. "Ang..."

"No, Sam. You know, I really don't care about the imprinting thing. I don't care about the fact that you have some obligation or inhuman desire to be around Leah's cousin of all people. My problem is that you don't sit down and talk to her! All that you guys were, and you won't even speak to her anymore! Even if it was too difficult for you to speak with her anymore, you could've taken time long before now to give her a reasonable explanation."

"I can't tell her the explanation! You know that!"

"You love Emily!" I hissed. "That's the entire point of this imprinting... thing! You love her! Tell Leah that you love Emily more than you can love her, she'll get the point exactly the same without trying to make this a conflict of 'keeping the secret'!"

Sam threw his arms up in frustration. "You don't understand, you couldn't possibly."

"Oh? No? Is that right? What exactly am I not getting at this point? Because you aren't using common sense to argue your case, you're just in deep denial, Sam."

"I can't tell her!"

"But you can! The imprinting scenario can be avoided from the explanation!"

"I can't tell her I love Emily more than I love her because I still love Leah! Okay?!"

Complete silence. I dropped from my aggressive stance, my shoulders falling back as I rocked back onto my heels, my mouth falling open. I felt my lip split from the cold, and ran my tongue over the wound absentmindedly. "You... oh." It took me a minute to wrap my head around the situation unfolding before me. I rested a hand on my forehead, exhaling through my mouth. "She still deserves to know, Sam. Talk to her. Tell her what you can. But don't leave everything unsaid for any longer and letting the rest of us pay for it. Please."

"Ang..." He trailed off, shaking his head. In the winter night, his dark eyes were black and his features were obscured in darkness, light showing the sharp contours of his face, and I could see how the whole situation had come to be. Sam was handsome, if completely clueless in the face of his love affairs.

"Please," I said, tiredness leaking into my voice.

He paused, turning and folding his hands behind his head, cursing under his breath. "Fine." He eventually caved. "I'll talk to her, after the elders tell the stories I'll pull her aside. You do know if things go horribly wrong you'll be getting the hardest end of this bargain, don't you?"

"Well aware, but I'd rather take the struggle myself than have the troubles burdening everyone she knows."

Sam shook his head, but when he started to pass me, he rested a hand on the top of my back and wordlessly ushered me into the warmth, eyeing me with concern. "I hate to say it, but you're a good friend, Ang."

I smiled, licking my lip briefly as I felt it sting subtly. "I know."

Immediately I went to Leah, giving her a faint nod, "He agreed, he'll talk to you when Quil's grandpa is done up there, okay?"

She visibly relaxed for a single second before a new tensity, a nervous one, steeled her spine completely straight once again. It had been awhile since I'd seen Leah sitting down anywhere but on the edge of her seat. She nodded back in confirmation. I looked at her a second longer before I decided to sit down finally. My cheeks warmed when an arm immediately curled around my waist.

"Hey," Embry greeted softly, hugging me. I snuggled into his side, smiling.

"Hi," I responded, my heart fluttering faintly when his cologne washed over me. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." He answered, before taking into account my thoughtful state, "Is everything alright?"

I shook my head, resting my head on his chest and looked around the fire at the boys. They were practically inhaling the food as soon as it was set in their hands, and my mind conceived some sort of metaphor of the situation. Individually, they all only took a short portion for themselves, but taking two into account took an even greater amount of what Emily had been so thoughtful as to collect. Add three and four more to the equation, and the amount of energy they were taking was immense between the small number of people involved.

But everyone was happy, all curled up by the fire talking amongst themselves. Quil was scarfing down hot dogs, a sarcastic expression adorning his face as he answered something Billy had asked him. Jacob was chatting with Jared were arguing over super heroes and who would win in an argument, while Paul kept a close eye on Sam, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat despite looking serene and stoic next to Emily. Individually I could handle all of my friends, but when they faced off against each other, things could get complicated. Just for a day, I'd hoped... but, no.

But just to entertain my thought, I tried to envision a woman and a man sitting next to Billy. Both were around my age, the man with his hair pulled back and long muscles toning his limbs, staring lovingly at the woman‐ her long, black hair combed through by the wind, she gazed back at me with a familiar slight smile on her lips and bright blue eyes not unlike my own.

I held onto the visualization until it disappeared in a quick flutter of the snow, rising off the rock with the torrent that had begun to surround the bonfire site. I blinked dreamily, and the vision disappeared altogether.

"It has to be." I answered without really thinking, shifting under the ghost of a weight upon my shoulders.

I got home a little after midnight, stepping in the door and closing it gently so as not to awaken my Father. He'd either be sleeping in his room, or passed out on the couch, and since I didn't know which was true at the present moment, I decided to just stay quiet in general.

I'd lost track of Leah and Sam. They'd disappeared soon after the reiteration of some of the tribe's legends, and hadn't been able to be tracked ever since. I hoped I had a message from Leah, but I hadn't checked my phone as it'd died sometime throughout the night where it had remained in my pocket. Plugging in the device, I went to the washroom and undressed quickly, taking time to comb through my windswept hair and brush my teeth to get ready for bed.

Curling under the covers in my bed, I pulled the phone off my dresser and entered the passcode, noticing I had a three new messages on my phone, and another two missed calls.

The first was from Quil: You're welcome for the ride, by the way.

I rolled my eyes, choosing not to respond to the text and moved on to my phone inbox. As soon as I saw the call from Leah, I entered my voicemail code.

It was easy to hear the heartbreak in her voice when she eventually spoke in the message. "Hey, Ang. I know you're having a good time, and Jacob told me your phone died so I know you won't be able to talk to me tonight. Honestly... I need some time to think, anyways. Call me tomorrow when you wake up. Love you."

I swallowed, suddenly feeling more exhausted than I'd originally felt.

I checked the other call, an unknown number. What I assumed would be a telemarketer actually ended up being the last voice I thought I'd hear on the other end of my phone.

"Angie? It's Bella. I'm going out shopping tomorrow. My Dad thinks it would be best for me to get out and have some fun. Call me back if you're going to show. Um... okay. Bye." I listened all the way until the beep, and lowered the phone slowly, looking out the window.

What should I even respond to the invitation? Surely it was insulting to ask me to an event which, last time I'd gone with her, had ended up so... I tried to search for the proper word, to no avail. I rubbed the bridge of my nose before deciding it was too late to think about the plans. I needed sleep before I even thought about communicating with people about such confusing situations.

I debated just falling back and letting sleep consume me, but had made the steps to direct me to my message inbox before I'd logically debated the idea.

The second message was from Jacob, and I had to enter the chat to read the full extent of the message. Hey, Ang. I was sorta surprised to see you at the bonfire after the day you had. Just wanted to remind you that its alright to take some time out for yourself. I know you have this insatiable need to help people but having your own battery up and running is important to kickstart anyone else's. I'm always just down the path if you need me.

The final message was from Embry, which wasn't surprising to me. Lately he'd had to message me from home if we wanted to communicate at all. His Mother wasn't happy about not knowing his whereabouts all the time, and although he was granted the opportunity to explain it to her, he politely declined. He believed she would be safer not knowing, in case something were to happen. Much as she loved to believe that she had control over him, it was actually he who had the upper hand in the entire situation. He texted me when he was under his false 'grounding', and then snuck out when he was obligated to run perimeter for the pack. Although I was grateful I was able to contact him at all, what with how often he was squeezed into tighter restrictions, I physically craved for a night watching crappy movies, eating pizza on the couch with him. Hell, I missed the sound of his voice and having the ability to look in his eyes and feel his presence in front of me when we had our little talks.

I caught myself sighing longingly as I opened the message: Hey gorgeous, its pretty late so I'm sure you're tired. I would be getting ready for bed myself, but Jared says I've gotta take his place tonight cause he needs to crash. Much as I hate to say it, numbers might help us at this point, we can't keep this up at the top of our game. I'm just stealing a minute while I get outta my good fall clothes to check in on you. I miss you a ton, I wish we could all slow down for a minute. But I guess I'm complaining too much now, aren't I? I don't know why I always sound so down when I message you. I just can't confess any of this to anyone but you.

There were tears in my eyes by the time I got to the end of the message, the heaviness I felt in my heart contrasting painfully with the emptiness in my chest.

You still there? I typed back, not really expecting a message back and trying not to be too hopeful.

My phone buzzed twice on my dresser, where I'd set it in case I fell asleep waiting for an answer. I sat up quickly, my hair swimming over my shoulders and brushing my elbows.

For the moment, He'd sent back. I felt my heart beat faster.

I won't take up too much of your time then, I promised. Just wanted to let you know that I miss you, too. Whenever you're not doing rounds for Sam, I should go there. Or you should come here. Or we should disappear. Anywhere.

It was only a few seconds later when he answered: Running away with you? Now that's an order I'd willingly carry out. I smiled. But alas, duty calls.

Okay. Stay safe. I love you.

I had trouble keeping my eyes open, and my limbs felt heavy against the mattress when I saw my phone light up one final time to read the most important message I'd received tonight: Love you too. Get some sleep.

"Whatever you say," I complied happily. As soon as I curled onto my side and found a comfortable position, I was out like a light.

Author's Note:

Thanks for you patience! As I post this, the next chapter is currently written out in skeleton form beside me and should be posted sooner than usual! Thanks for all of your support and as always, favorite and follow if it suits your fancy. Stay awesome (Y)