Borrowed Time, Ch 21 – Enough

AN: Woohoo! Loghain is officially one of the party members. Took long enough, right?! Sorry fellow Mac Tir lovers -.- It made me wiggle with impatientness too… This one's alotta babble, btw. Next one will have action again, I promise. Did some fun research about Middle Ages' scents – rosemary n stuff.

Surprisingly, Shiva was able to rest easy after her drink and talk with her fellow wardens. She loved that she didn't get hangovers – together, she and Loghain had demolished more than half the bottle and she drank twice as much as he. The morning wouldn't be near as hopeful if she had to spend it nursing an aching head and a nauseous stomach. Her stretching was cramped by a large, solid mass at the foot of the bed. Loki picked his drowsy head up and peered at her after he was kicked. As an apology, she flopped near enough to him to pet him. He rolled so they were lying face-to-face.

"Lazy mutt." Said mutt yawned in her face. She was repelled enough by his breath to get out of bed. She called a servant to fetch some water for a bath.

When she entered the room where breakfast was laid out, Wynne suddenly decided she was finished. The mage stiffly passed Shiva without a glance. The pirate paid the old biddy no mind. She was watching Leliana irritate Loghain. Zevran was sitting close to the general.

"The best way to remember someone is to think of the happy times you shared," the bard lisped. "You knew Cailan since he was small, surely you can think of at least one nice story."

"The only time I think of Cailan is when I remember his fool move at Ostagar and how my daughter and I have been the ones to pay for it." He groused. He gave the bard a livid stare. The plate in front of him lay half eaten - probably when he abandoned it in annoyance concerning Leliana's persistent questions.

"Let the man eat in peace, woman," Shiva joked.

"No one wants to share their tales with me," she pouted.

Shiva's eyes gleamed. "What are you talking about? All I do is share my tail with you."

Leliana cocked her head, then erupted into a fit of giggles. "No! Not tail, tales! I can't believe you are so lewd this early in the morning." Loghain looked on with a raised brow.

"It is never too early to be lewd," the Antivan purred.

"You have a weakness for bread, don't you, my love? You should try this one," she reached for a slice that had a glaze on a golden brown crust. The center was soft and still warm. She tore some and put it in her own mouth. "It's covered in honey. Have a taste." When Shiva reached for it, Leliana intercepted by kissing her. "Like it?"

"Pfft, how should I know, only letting me have the crumbs on your lips. Get out of my way, you stingy cow."

"Cow?" She squeaked. "That is so rude. I can't believe you talk to me like that." Shiva shook her head at the woman's genuine anger.

"You know I didn't mean-"

"Then you shouldn't say it." She rose and whisked out of the room. Shiva watched with wide eyes as she greedily chewed on the piece of bread - which was delicious.

Zevran tutted at her. "Too bad you so blatantly insulted her. I was about to offer coin for the chance of seeing the two of you kiss again."

"Heh, there will be no kissing for a while unless I can get her to forgive me. It'll probably take a gift. What do girls like?"

Zev laughed. "You are a woman yourself and you don't know?"

"I like weapons, food, liquor, and dirty prose. Not poetry, for sod's sake! I highly doubt the little flower would-" she gasped, slapping her forehead. "Flowers! Of course. You, my prickly-eared friend, are a genius. Although, now that she's gone, I daresay the general's disposition has gotten considerably more relaxed." She cast a sidelong glance at the man.

"Let's just say you won't hear me complain." He resumed wolfing down his food.

Everyone was packed and ready to go. Shiva had gone to the Gnawed Noble with Sten, Wynne, and Leliana to meet their guide. Levi was an attractive, lean and friendly merchant. He spoke at length about his family and what it was that gave them a bad reputation. He also offered to trade whatever they wished on the way to the Peak since he would be bringing a carriage with his wares. He would meet them outside the city in an hour.

When they left the tavern, Leliana looked around and snapped her fingers, remembering something. "We found more drake scales on the way here from Redcliff! I meant to go and see Master Wade about making another set of armor. He expressed that he was dissatisfied with his craftsmanship on his last piece and would like to try again. I have them with me; it won't take long."

"Go ahead then, and take Sten with you." It wasn't likely they'd come across anyone hostile, but she'd rather be safe than sorry. The bard and qunari headed to the smithy, leaving Shiva alone with Wynne.

"You can't give me the silent treatment forever, you know." Shiva dusted her greaves, trying to be nonchalant about her attempt to make peace, which she half expected to fail.

"I'm not giving you the silent treatment, dear." Wynne didn't look at her. Her mouth pressed shut as soon as she was finished talking, but she was right. It wasn't a silent treatment. It was pretty close to it, though.

"I would rather you express whatever has you displeased with me. Well, at least whatever's at the top of the list. I imagine there's plenty since you've learned more about me."

"I am not displeased with you. I am simply uneasy about traveling with Loghain, and I do not think you thought that through." The mage still seemed as though the moldy barrel next to the scholar's house she was staring at was more interesting than facing Shiva while they conversed. Two could play that game – Shiva was staring towards the market stalls.

"He retreated, leaving hundreds to be torn apart and eaten by darkspawn, including his own son-in-law and my Commander. He marched his silverite covered ass straight to the throne and claimed regency. He allied himself with Howe, who was the only man in the country worse than Loghain himself. He hired a blood mage to poison Arl Eamon since he was the greatest threat among the nobles. He started a civil war. He hired an assassin to kill me and Alistair. He sold slaves to Tevinter for coin to fund the war. All of this means he will most likely betray me as soon as he sees the opportunity to question my authority. He is untrustworthy, cold, selfish, paranoid, and power-mad. Did I miss anything?" She had to take a look at him through Wynne's eyes for that profile. Where most saw coldness, Shiva saw he was objective. Where most saw he was paranoid, she saw caution that helped him survive and be as strong and sharp as he is. As for his actions, she did not agree with them. She would never use poison to do more than gain a slight advantage, certainly not a stealth kill. To her, it was weak and cowardly. She did not approve of slavery, but she knew what the Alienage was like. Slavery would be an improvement for some of them, for not all masters were like hers. Very few, in fact.

Wynne sighed. "No, those are all his deeds that I know of, but that is not my point. You are our leader, you should not take such risks and expose those who follow you to such a potentially harmful outcome that you yourself implied was likely."

"You fear for your own safety, then? I watch everyone to see if one will strike out. You think this is suddenly a problem with Loghain joining? What about Zevran? Do you trust him? I sure don't. But he has taken out nearly 30 demons and more than three times as many bandits and soldiers. What about Morrigan? I had an obligation to bring her. She is open about her disdain for all things outside herself and the ground she walks on. I don't know why they truly remain with me. I do know that Loghain has been stripped of his title, his army is under Ser Cauthrien now, and he is a Grey Warden, meaning I am his superior."

"As was King Cailan," the mage coarsely reminded.

"Cailan was a fool!" she snapped. Wynne finally faced her, open mouth and evident shock faded away to narrowed eyes and a breath to launch some retort. "We will speak no further of this." Shiva ended it before it truly began. She was right – that failed.

Anora stood in Arl Eamon's estate to bid the warden and her father farewell. The queen's hands were clasped before her and Loghain stood stiffly since people were running by, to and fro. "Father, shall we find another room? Considering how the past few days have been, I do not wish to part like strangers would." Loghain nodded and walked to the guest rooms, entering the one farthest down the left hall. They stood just inside. "Father, are you alright? You seem… healthier after the Joining but I know such is not the case."

Loghain put his hands on Anora's shoulders. "I'm fine, Anora. Don't worry about me. Worry about that whelp you'll be marrying. Did you truly agree to that?"

She nodded. "I did. I could hardly argue that it was the best compromise after Shiva's explanation. We could afford no more antagonism and with his leadership at the Landsmeet, I fear my position would have been in jeopardy otherwise."

Loghain groaned, taking his hands off of Anora's shoulders and crossing them over his breastplate. His chin dipped into the v-shaped cleft in his armor when he lowered his head to glower at the floor.

"Do you trust the warden?" the queen asked.

"I'm unsure. I don't entirely know what to make of her yet, and trust cannot be gained so quickly. She and I were bitter enemies yesterday. There is still friction between us, I don't expect that to go away – at least not anytime soon. She is clear in her intentions, I'll give her that. I was wrong in guessing she wanted to control Alistair when he became king – I can see she is not that ambitious. She's also not as vindictive as I thought. I believed she wanted me to become a Grey Warden, hoping either I'd die during the Joining or become some trophy, but she expressed what she wanted out of this was my skill set on the battle field under her charge." He sighed and loosened one of his hands from their tight cross to pinch the bridge of his nose. "That doesn't mean she is capable or trustworthy. I shall simply pray that she is."

"You've learned much about her in a short time." Anora watched her father with worry.

"She and I had a talk last night."

"Was it enlightening?"

"A bit."

"I wanted to speak to her before all of you leave. No matter how we look at it, we have much to thank her for."

Loghain grunted. "I'll thank her later. I don't know where she'll be dragging me. For now, you owe me a proper good bye."

Anora chuckled. "Expect to be dragged to the Black City and back, father. Some of her followers said she is constantly on the move."

"I suppose I shouldn't complain. There's a chance my time won't be wasted, but I'll know soon. Come, child. Give your father a hug." Anora smiled and embraced him. She was tiny compared to him, especially in his armor. She had expressed she hated hugging him when he wore it; it was always so cold.

With that said and done, they headed back to the atrium. They didn't make it halfway down the hall before Leliana and Wynne emerged from the guest room and headed the same direction with their noses in the air. Shiva exited the room after them.

"Sodding get over yourselves, wouldja?" She swatted the air in their direction without seeing Anora and Loghain. Her pack got the heat of her anger when she jerkily adjusted it where it was slung over her shoulder. Loghain didn't want to admit how much he was taking pleasure in her flustered state. Anora cleared her throat beside him.

Shiva turned to them with no surprise. "Your Majesty," she acknowledged. "and you," she nodded to Loghain with the ghost of a smirk.

"Warden, I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me and this country. I cannot say that my father and I could have even pulled off what you did yesterday. Certainly not Alistair. I have a feeling that even his impressive conduct at the beginning of the Landsmeet was thanks to your influence."

Shiva tutted. "Yeah, at the beginning of the Landsmeet." She said it to herself, but not hiding it from their ears. "I only did what I thought was best," she shrugged.

Beside Anora, Loghain gave less praise. "If you can keep it up, we may have a chance."

"We'll see." Shiva's mood was darker than his at the moment.

Five hours into their journey, they came across a massive bandit camp. They were outnumbered three to one, but Shiva's followers each had twice the skill of every group of three bandits combined. Shiva watched as Loghain fought alongside Sten. The warriors were a massive force all on their own, crushing the bandits before them. Loghain was swift, where Sten was simply frightening. The bandits that would cower from Sten would find themselves cut down by Loghain's blade. The ones that managed to dodge Loghain's lightning fast attacks were cut down by Sten.

Morrigan, Wynne, and Leliana stood with their backs to each other in the center clearing. They shot waves of energy, balls of fire and ice, and arrows to the bandits that skirted the area. Shiva and Zev incised bandits left and right. They would be weak from blood loss before they knew how much damage they actually took. Loki bit bandits' legs as they ran by and Shale finished them off by stomping their heads or torsos.

Eventually, all of them stood near five to eight dead bodies, breathing heavy with bloodied clothes and weapons. Levi peeked over the boulder that served as his hiding place when all grew silent.

The spin of the silver medallion was mesmerizing. The traces of darkspawn blood that swirled within held Shiva's attention like blood magic. The pendant dangled from the delicate silver chain she held in her fingers. Her arm was poised above her head so the amulet could hang right in front of her eyes. The campfire behind it caused the edges to glint and twinkle.

She didn't care so much that it was supposed to remind her of Jory, Daveth, Leske. It reminded her of Alistair. He was the one that had given it to her. The reverence in his voice when he explained it still echoed in her ears. Maker, she missed him.

She realized she had taken on his worst habit – wallowing in self-pity.

Enough.

Shiva put the Warden's Oath around her neck. She thought Loghain should have had one, but being a warden didn't mean anything to him – except that he was going to die. He joined the order that he lost to. To give him a reminder was petty. Pettier than she felt like being to him. Thanks to Leliana and Wynne, there was no need for another trivial tantrum.

Her hand was covering her mouth, in the same thinking position Duncan mastered. She was deciding who to talk to. Everyone in the camp was minding their own business. Zevran squatted near her, arranging small pebbles in mindless boredom. Leliana was past him, looking at the stars and humming some tune. Wynne sat on her pack so she didn't have to stand or sit on the hard ground, reading a small book she carried with her – no doubt for the hundredth time. Sten was on the opposite side of them, with his back to the fire, as if his blade was in more dire need of warmth than he. Morrigan was far off, as usual. She squatted by her own fire, arms outstretched toward it to warm her hands. Shale stood near Loki, staring at the dog. Considering stomping the hound into a puddle of blood and fur, most likely. Shiva had already warned him that if it did, she would have Morrigan shapeshift into a bird and shit on him until he dissolved from the excrement.

Loghain set his tent near where Alistair would have. It made sense; that was the remaining open spot near the fire. Unless he made his own fire, like Morrigan or better yet, tried to steal Morrigan's. She could imagine the uproar that would cause. It would be delightfully entertaining.

When Shiva realized she was smirking at the fire she pursed her lips to hide it. She heard Loghain emerge from his tent. He had the flap of his tent rolled up, using his bedroll as a table as he unrolled some parchment and set the quill to it. He made various marks that she couldn't see from where she sat. It took a few minutes to realize he was adding to a map. The quill stilled. "Is there something about me that captivates you, Warden?" His eyes slowly rolled to peer back at her. "If not, I would appreciate it if you stopped staring. It makes me twitch." She giggled, imagining his irritation when a twitch made him add extra curves to a road or river.

"Maybe I have a map fetish. Would you deny me the enjoyment of watching?"

"And people say my admiration for them surpasses the ordinary." He snorted.

"We should start a club. We could have cookies." At the word 'cookies' Sten's head cocked just enough to turn his ear to them.

"Cookies," Loghain quoted.

"May I?" Shiva neither moved nor clarified. Loghain simply jerked a shoulder. She assumed that was a shrug and moved nearer for a better look at his work.

She could tell from the map he had zero artistic ability, but through months or years of repetition, he learned to portray the land well. The Frostback Mountains seemed to bulge from the surface of the parchment. The Korcari Wilds and the uncharted lands sprawling south appeared to sink into the shading. The Brecilian Forest next to it was bristly to show the coverage of woodland.

Loghain stopped, seeing that her brows were furrowed and her finger was touching her lips. He noticed she no longer looked like she was in her twenties. "Do you see a mistake?" He doubted that, he knew the lands like no other.

Her hair swayed when she shook her head 'no.' The movement caused the scent of her hair to faintly wash past him. The warden didn't seem prim, so he assumed she was treated with special soaps and hair washes at Eamon's. He overheard Anora and Erlina speaking about rosemary, cloves, nutmeg and whatever else they felt like sprinkling into their hair. He found it odd, but now understood the appeal when he smelled sage with a hint of rosewater.

"How many have you made?" He was grateful for the distraction. Even if it was her prattle.

"Dozens… A hundred, maybe."

"Sell any?"

"Why? Are you lost?" he retorted. She rolled her eyes.

"No, asshole." The way her lip quirked made him mind the insult less. "I thought it would be interesting if I owned one from you and didn't know it. Not that I have any but one land map, and unless you are way older than you look, you didn't sketch it."

"How old are we talking here?" She gestured for him to wait before heading to her own tent. As he waited, he noticed the assassin ogling her backside as she bent to get her map case.

"Feast your eyes on this." She removed a brittle parchment from her case and rolled it out in front of him. He had cleared the space of his own sketches to see what she really had and expected it to be an ancient style and not that old at all. Any attempt of his to hide his surprise would have failed spectacularly.

"It's centuries old." His fingers caressed the edges of the parchment.

"Over a millennia, actually. From the first Blight." She confirmed. "They drew the landscape and added Weisshaupt years later when it was founded. I found the map with an old journal." She pulled it from her satchel and set it beside the map. He glanced at the journal, far less interested in it.

"No wonder it's in such poor shape then."

"I know little about proper map upkeep."

"Barbarian." A slight smile tugged at his mouth.

"Do enlighten me, o scholarly one," she quipped.

"How long has it been in that case of yours? Is that leather? No good. Find somewhere wooden, or metal. If it absolutely must be rolled, lie it flat on a cloth made of cotton and roll them together. Don't want the parchment sticking to others and tearing. You should also get some powder - the oil from your fingers when you touch it could affect the inks. Store it somewhere cool and dry. Check on it regularly to see if the paper reacts to the environment or if it attracts vermin that like to chew on such things. Look here, mold!" He scowled at a fibrous rise on the underside of the bottom left corner.

"Err, keep in mind it's been in the Grey Warden cache for Maker knows how long - unless you truly insist on biting my head off over the condition it was in prior to my obtaining it." He gently wiped at the mold, petting it away. "It seems like you should be the one to have this." He gawked at her, incredulous.

"Nonsense. It's worth about twenty sovereigns if you find the right collector, and that's being stingy."

"You're saying if I offered you would not accept it? That's hardly a thing a true appreciator of cartography would do. It would get damaged in my possession! It'll rip, have ale and bread crumbs spilled all over it! Dog drool!" Her teasing was merciless.

"Maker's breath, if you insist so much..." He was shaking his head, on the verge of giving her a genuine smile.

"Good. If you are still hesitant about accepting it, just remember how much I've taken from you and consider this a start for paying you back."

"Heh, believe me, I haven't forgotten that. I caught on soon, considering how suspicious you looked, you know. I simply thought it would be an attempt on my life and not emptying my coinpurse."

Shiva laughed. "Consider it a deposit. You will be compensated, Loghain. I promise."

He took a cylindrical container and cloth from the pack by his feet. The container was for some powder, which he sprinkled all over the map. The cloth was placed under the map. He flipped the end of the rag over the edge of the parchment and began to roll it up. "If you're going to keep spoiling me with maps, I believe you." He stopped, smiled. "Thank you. Last thing I expected on my first day as a warden was a gift. From the woman that nearly killed me yesterday, no less."

She smiled back. "I wouldn't expect to get spoiled, but I try. And you're welcome." She squirmed as the silence drew on. "Well, since you ran our cook off, I'd better go find something for us to eat."

"If there's another thing I could ask of you, allow me to hunt tonight. I'm eager to get away from everyone's stares." Shiva looked at everyone else, not noticing before how they treated him.

"Sure. Would you want to go alone or would you rather a furry companion go with you?"

He chuckled. "I wouldn't mind the hound. It's been a while since I hunted with a Mabari."

"I'll send him over." She walked away and Loghain disappeared into his tent with the map.

Within, Loghain reverently put the map in his case, mentally swearing he'd find it a more suitable place as soon as he had the chance. At least they were going places where the weather wouldn't be too disagreeable for decent parchment preservation. The peak was sure to be cold and crisp, as were the Frostback Mountains, and the Deep Roads were dry.

With that put away, he bent to his other pack, removing black dyed leathers he hadn't had the chance to wear in years. He removed the chevalier plate, setting it aside, as well as the rest of the armor and donned his old leathers. He stretched to test the feel once more and felt light. He grabbed his longbow and emerged from the tent.

A wide, panting doggy grin greeted him. He didn't need to be behind the hound to know his tail was wagging. "Come," he commanded. The general and Mabari headed for the line of trees that surrounded the eastern side of camp.

Shiva was surprised when Loghain came out of his tent looking like the fabric of darkness. His leathers were as dark and course as his mane. They hugged his body hypnotically. The chevalier plate did nothing to show off the man beneath - it was symbolic of a great accomplishment, which was fine and dandy, but that was no longer relevant. The Orlesians were not a threat at the moment, the darkspawn were, and that armor didn't impress them.

That body impressed Shiva, though. She was aware he was tall - when she fought him at the Landsmeet and was near him, she reached his chin. But the armor was wide, so it wasn't as striking from afar. Not until he was looming over you did you realize how great was his size, for someone who was not qunari.

His chest was broad and his hips close to slender. She had to avert her eyes before he noticed her staring. She couldn't help but turn back and keep watching as he walked into the forest. It was as if he became the shadows before he even reached them.

Loghain had brought three geese he hunted by a nearby pond and held out the already prepared carcasses to Shiva. "Don't let him try to extort any food from you." He pointed to Loki, who was drooling behind him. The hound plopped to scratch his neck, completely unruffled about the warning. "He's already had his supper."

Shiva took the geese, raking her eyes over Loghain's body while the newest warden watched the dog. Their meal that night was vastly more flavorful than Alistair's famous grey mush.