He lay in bed, holding her close. Again she whispered that she wanted him to make love to her. Hearing her say those words should have aroused him, but he could not help but notice the state she was in. She was fragile and he seriously had no idea how to go about giving her what she wanted.
He placed soft kisses on her cheeks, on her eyelids and on her forehead and meanwhile he was trying to make up his mind. He decided against undressing her. It did not even feel proper to open a few buttons of her dress. Gently he reached under her skirt and, as he had hoped, she was not wearing her pantalets. Kissing her tenderly on her lips, he caressed her leg, moving gradually upwards. It felt wrong somehow but he bravely pushed on. His finger brushed her; she did not respond and he could feel that she was nowhere near ready for him.
He looked at her and her eyes confused him; she looked desperate and frightened somehow. He thought about asking her again what was wrong with her. Despite her denial he feared that he was the cause of her distress and, afraid of her answer, he quickly decided that words had never been their forte and that conversation was not the road to follow today.
Instead he planned to coax her some more with tender kisses and caresses. When he brought his lips towards her face, she gently put a hand on his cheek and to his surprise she whispered 'Rhett, I need you. I need you so much.'
'But Scarlett…' he said, feeling uncertain.
'Please make me whole again,' she said softly. Rhett looked into her eyes and he knew that she meant what she said.
Unsure of the situation but feeling a compelling need to comfort his wife, he nodded and lifted himself up. In the past he had always been the conductor of their concerto d'amour but today his suave lover-like abilities had abandoned him. Feeling every bit the sixteen-year-old boy, he hesitantly pushed up her skirt.
After wetting his fingers, he made sure that he would be able to enter her without hurting her. He freed himself and then he lay between her thighs. Gently he pushed himself inside her. He had trouble finding his way within; she was so tight.
Both of them were visibly uncomfortable and just when Rhett was contemplating if a conversation was not the way to go after all, it was as if her defence crumbled and suddenly he was able to push himself in fully. However, he was shocked when right at that moment she started sobbing quietly. He wanted to pull out but she quickly held him by his buttocks.
'Scarlett, I don't want to hurt you,' he said, feeling confused.
'You are not hurting me,' she replied in a strangled voice.
'Just make love to me, Rhett. Please don't make me beg one more time.' The pain in her voice was heart wrenching.
He placed one of his large hands protectively around her skull and kept giving her chaste little kisses while he gently gave her what she wanted. She kept crying silent tears but at the same time her nails were digging into his skin, telling him that it was not his movements what made her so tearful.
Nonetheless, his concern for her never eased and he guessed that it would take him a long time before he would be able to find satisfaction this way; even though his body gave all the proper reactions he was not really enjoying himself.
After a while, Scarlett's tears dried and she began to participate in their dance a little bit more. She even started moaning softly and whispering incomprehensive words to him. He could also feel her growing moist around him and her now welcoming warmth made him forget his apprehensions. He remembered how much he had missed her during his trip and passion rose inside him. His kisses became hungrier and she responded to them. When his mouth moved down she automatically arched her neck. The cloth that had covered her throat fell away and he stopped in the midst of a zealous thrust.
Part of her neck was black and blue.
For what seemed liked forever he hovered above her, staring at the ugly bruise that made such a sharp contrast with her delicate skin.
'Scarlett, who has done this you?' he asked, his voice hoarse from the shock. He moved away and sat next to her on the bed.
It took her some time before she realised what had happened. She sat up too and slowly her hand reached up to her throat.
She bent her head as if she was ashamed. Rhett kept looking at her intensely. A million different confusing thoughts ran through his mind.
While they sat shoulder to shoulder, she told him the whole story.
How her attacker had surprised her in her sleep. How much she struggled to get away from him, suspecting that the man was out to violate her. Not knowing the stranger's intentions she had been in fear of her life during the entire attack.
'Did he... Was he able to...' Rhett, looking pale under his swarthy skin, needed to know if the man had done more to Scarlett than the obvious damage. Scarlett had not looked at him during her entire recount and now she bent her head even lower than before.
'Scarlett, it won't make a difference to me...' he started again, wondering to himself if he was being truthful there, 'but I need to know if that man has...'
'No!' she said loudly. 'No', she said again, almost whispering this time, 'he tried... but no. I am not sure if it was the blow with the stone pipe or the fact that he believed me to be dead what made him run but I knew the moment I came around that I... that I was still myself.'
Rhett knew that he should reach out and give her a comforting hug, but he felt impotent when listening to her story. He felt enraged at her attacker but a similar contempt he felt towards himself.
He had left her here by herself. Amidst the worst skunks on earth. Was he not a fugitive himself?
He left his wife alone in an area that harboured more murderers and rapists than any other state in the Union!
How could he have been so stupid?
He was relieved that the man did not rape nor kill her but what had happened was bad enough. He would get the man that did this to her. He would track him down and kill him if it was the last thing he ever did.
But for now his wife was his major concern.
When she finished telling the story she looked so small and despite his own guilt, he wrapped his arms around her. She looked up at him. Her green eyes were brimming with unshed sorrow and he saw something else; a familiar fire burned inside them. He did not miss the familiar signal she was sending him but surely she did not expect him to make love to her now?
'I want to forget, Rhett,' she whispered when he did not make a move.
'I need you to make me forget how his hands were touching my body.' A sob escaped her lips.
'I want to stop feeling dirty. I want you to caress me and tell me that I am beautiful.'
'I want to feel like myself again.' Her little cherubic face looked so sad when she said those words.
Rhett opened his mouth as if he wanted to speak but he changed his mind.
His hands were shaking when instead he touched the top button of her dress. It took him some trouble before he managed to open all of them. Once he had removed all of their clothing he lay on his side and gathered her close. For a while they just lay there, finding comfort in feeling the other one's warm flesh against their own. Then Rhett looked deep into Scarlett's eyes and she told him silently that she was ready. He lifted her leg up somewhat and they united again.
After he had managed to give Scarlett her release she sobbed uncontrollably. Rhett Butler had always been selfish about his pleasures, but this time he could not be bothered with his own gratification. He withdrew himself and obviously surprised his wife by doing so, because she protested immediately, albeit with a thin voice.
He gestured as if to say that it was nothing important before he smiled down at her and gathered her up close.
'This is one time I want you to fall asleep in my arms, Scarlett,' he said in a gentle voice. 'Preferably without any interruptions. No need to withdraw yourself to the dressing room tonight.'
He studied her face; her cheeks were rosy now but the dark smudges under her eyes still remained.
'I am guessing that you have hardly slept since this happened to you?'
She nodded gently.
'You go to sleep, my darling. I am here now to protect you.'
He sounded confident saying those last words, but he knew he failed her. Failed her with near fatal consequences.
Despite the long tiring journey home he did not manage to fall asleep until very late that night.
The next morning, Rhett wanted both of them to visit Henrietta. He had promised Johan to give Henrietta some instructions regarding the cows that he had left behind in Strawbridge. Scarlett said she was too tired to visit their friend now. He looked at her and understood that she was not making excuses. He double checked the locks on the back and the front door, made sure the windows were tightly shut and promising her a swift return he left her alone to catch up on her sleep.
When he returned to the cabin and stood at the front door he could hear male voices inside. He quickly drew his pistol, pulled the trigger and with force he threw the door open. He saw Scarlett standing in their room, still in her night attire, her silk green wrapper tucked tightly around her. Two soldiers were by her side. When they saw Rhett pointing a gun at them, they were quick to withdraw their own guns from the holsters.
'Rhett, no!' Scarlett cried.
In a quick second Rhett assessed the situation. The two men were there for him; there was no doubt in his mind. Somehow they must have gotten wind of his hiding place and they were here to make him pay for his 'crimes'. He was certain that, despite there being two of them, he could have taken them on if necessary but he was not willing to risk it with Scarlett in the line of fire. Besides, he had other options.
Quickly he released the trigger and tossed his gun on the floor while putting up his hands in a clear sign of defeat.
Rhett did not say a word when the two men handcuffed him and roughly pushed him outside. Scarlett was protesting heavily. Rhett wished he could have spared her this ordeal after everything she had already gone through. The Yankees did not give him time to say farewell to his wife and he only had the chance to mention the letter he received before they finally dragged him away.
Scarlett felt almost like crumbling under the added weight that had been placed on her shoulders. She walked around in their cabin aimlessly, trying to think of something that she could do.
The letter! Rhett had talked about a letter!
Only yesterday Henrietta had brought her a letter from the post office. Scarlett had not invited Henrietta in for a cup of coffee and she could see that the older lady was disappointed. She just was not ready to entertain visitors.
Scarlett had not seen since before the war such luxurious paper as the one the envelope was made out of. Strangely enough the letter had been addressed to Belle's house in Atlanta and somebody had stricken its location through with a pencil and had written Henrietta's address next to it instead. It was a funny sort of handwriting that the person had used. It almost looked as if the letters were drawn on the paper, similar to how a small child would try to copy such symbols. Scarlett wondered if Belle knew how to read and write.
She checked the dinner table, but the letter was no longer in the place she had left it the day before. She wondered if Belle had sent Rhett more money but she did not understand how more funds could get Rhett out of his current situation. Frantically she tried to figure out where the letter might be. Then she noticed Rhett's jacket hanging on the back of one of the chairs. It was in need of a wash, Rhett must have been wearing it during his long ride home.
She checked the pockets and to her joy she discovered the folded envelope in his inner pocket next to his cigars. Before taking out the letter, she opened the case and inhaled the smell of his cigars for a moment. She closed her eyes and she could clearly image Rhett standing in front of her. A warm feeling spread throughout her body. She closed the case and put it back.
Scarlett hesitated to open the letter but, when she noticed that the post stamp was from Washington, her curiosity got the better of her. She used a kitchen knife to open it neatly. Inside was an official looking letter. There were a lot of big words in the document.
Scarlett put the paper back into the envelope, lay it on the table and went in search of some clean clothes.
A/N: Sorry that it has been a few weeks since I updated last: Other stuff was asking my attention instead (nothing dramatic - just basic RL - but it is still a big pain in the ass when RL interrupts with my FF life ;-)). I hope that in the next few days I will have some time to catch up with all that I have been missing here at FF.
As always many thanks to my good friend Andra for her help, support and great insight into these inspiring characters. She is a star and quite indispensable to my FF-life.