Chapter 21

I'm here 'till you send me away

Alice had heard about what happed between me and her brother. I won't think of him anymore, or saw his name. I'll refer to him as "her brother" for now on — her stupid brother to be exact. Alice invited me to her house because her brother wouldn't be there. He was probably out with Jessica, that slut. But who knows? When I came knocking on the door, Esme answered. "Bella darling! Nice to see you," she said happily. She must not know about what happened.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen. Alice here?"

"She's up in here room." I went up to Alice's room and Rose was there too. I smiled.

"Hey, Alice. Rose," I said with a smile. They both waved at me.

"Glad you could make it. You okay?" Alice asked and I nodded.

"And sorry I was so ride to you at school the other day. I was just beyond mad."

"Its okay, Bella. Don't think about Edwa—"

"Do NOT say his name," I warned and she put her hands up and I laughed for the first time.

"Okay, Bells. Don't shoot me." Everyone laughed. "Come on, we're watching reality TV. It's so hilarious."

I sat on the bed with Rose and Alice and we watched Jersey Shore. It was so freakin' funny. Snookie is a mess. "Ew, I hate it when they kiss," Rose said when two girls were kissing. Alice and I laughed.

"They do that all the time," Alice said. Rose really didn't watch this type of stuff, she wasn't prepared. When I first saw this show flipping through the channels, I thought it was porn and called the cable company to take it off. It was disgusting.

I a knock on the door and shuddered. "Who's that?" I asked, afraid it would be Edward.

"Relax, Bella, it's not a killer," Alice said. "Sorry, Ed — I mean, my brother got home early. Not my fault."

"Man, Alice, now I have to leave," I said.

"No!" Alice and Rose said together, but I was on my feet. Alice tried to run after me, but I was down stairs, trying to get out of here as fast as possible.

Then, I saw Edward and we both froze. He was the first to walk up to me and I walked away from him. "Please, Bella, can we talk?" he asked and I sighed.

"I told you I didn't want to talk to you anymore," I hissed.

"Please, just please, Bella, can I at least explain?"

"Explain what? There's nothing to explain. You do not like me, there's nothing else to be said. So good bye." I was about to open the door when he jumped in front of the handle.

"Please, please, please, please," he pleaded on his knees now. I wanted to kick him in the nuts while I had the chance.

"Goodbye, Edward!" I said sternly and opened the door, but he shut it back.

"Bella, just hear me out. Let me talk to you for a minute and I'll never speak to you again. If you don't, I'll just have to get bugging you."

I considered this for a minute. "Alight, you got a minute. Go!"

"Uhm…? I need more than a minute—"

"And I need to leave, but I guess all wishes don't come true, do they?"

"Please, Bella just let me have at least an hour. It's a long story."

"Alright, alright. Talk!"

"We can talk in my room," he said and I laughed.

"You're fucking kidding right?" I said still laughing and Edward sighed.

"Your way to good to be using profanity like that. It's not you," he explained and I laughed in his face.

"You don't know me, Edward, and I don't want you to know me."

"Please, let's just talk. In my room."

I sighed. "Alright… fine. Hurry up." We both walked up the stairs to his room. When we got there I sat at his desk.

"You stay on the bed, far away from me. And don't look at me to much, just talk," I instructed and he nodded.

"Well, first I want to tell you about my horrible childhood—"

"Why?"

"Because… It's important. I need to tell you how I needed up like this."

"How you ended up being an idiot?"

"No, a player and such an ass. I just want to explain so you can understand."

"Okay. Go head."

He took a deep breath and began. "When I was born… my dad abandoned me and my mother Elizabeth. She had no job and could barely take care of me. We had to leave in a shelter most of our lives until she finally had enough money to buy an apartment. But it was a one room one, kind of like a small hotel room. It wasn't much." He paused for a moment. I knew it was hard to talk about this. "So… a few years later, my mom got drafted into the military. I was a foster kid now and you know how it goes. Getting sent to different homes every month and never having a real family. Most of the families I ended up with were horrible people. So… a letter came to me in the mail about my mother. She had died in war. This group called the Volturi killed her in a foreign country. One of their soldiers named Alec killed her—"

"Alec?"

"Yeah, your date. I was trying to warn you but you wouldn't listen. He was freed from the war and tried to get revenge—"

"Revenge? For what?"

"I killed his father. I went into the war at a young age, I was 10, and they let me go. I had to do some illegal things to get into the war, but it was worth it for my mother. I did everything to get into that war." He took a short break again and continued. "So, Alec changed his name to Alex, came to America and went looking for me. When he did, I got a restraining order, so he'll be gone back to his country in a few days. Plus he only went on a date with you to get more information on me. That's how he knew about the restraining order; he hacked our telephone number and was eavesdropping on all our personal calls and stuff. So," he sighed, "I was injured after I killed his father and I had to go to the hospital. That's when I met Carlisle. When I met Alice, we got along like best friends, so he adopted me too, so Alice would have company."

"You guys were actually friends," I said in disbelief.

"Yeah, hard to believe isn't it?" I nodded. "So, when I became a Cullen, I started getting into classical music. That's what Carlisle listens to and he got me into it. Then I started playing the piano. It was my passion and I loved it—"

"You played the piano?"

"Yeah, I use to play it every second of the day. But I stopped when I enter middle school. I met James and his friend Laurent. I use to be an honor student—"

"Really?"

"Yeah." He laughed a little. "But not anymore. James and Laurent use to tease me and call me a dork and a nerd. They were just jealous because all the girls wanted me." He laughed. "Funny how things worked out… So, I started acting like James and wanted to be in his crew. I instantly became popular. Everyone wanted to be my friend and James was bumped down from his throne. I was the king of middle school now. I guess that's what he deserved for messing with me anyway." He sniffled a little, but continued. "Then, I met Victoria. She was my second girl friend. My first girl friend was a girl from first grade. After that, I though I'd stay single for now." I laughed and he smiled at me. "Victoria… she was different. She showed me life and really bad stuff. She even tried to have sex with me, but I was too good for that. Esme raised me better than that, I wasn't that stupid. Then, I cheated on her for Lauren and James was mad at me. He didn't speak to me for 3 days because I broke her heart and whatever. I really didn't care because she had a lot of crap going on in her life and I didn't want to be a part of it. James started going out with her now and he still does." He paused again shortly. "So that's kind of how it happened. All I cared about until that time was popularity and getting more people to like me I guess. Alice didn't like that though and we didn't get along. She said I didn't treat woman right and she was right of course. We kind of just… grew apart and started hating each other."

"Alice says it's just sibling hate," I told him.

"Yeah, I guess she's right. We love each other still. That's my sister, I love her." He sighed for like… the fourth time today, then persisted with his story. "Then you came along and I didn't want anything to do with you because you weren't popular. But when I met you, I didn't know if you were a friend, if I liked you, or just a no body. I'd never met anyone like you. At first I thought you were like a sister to me, but it just didn't seem right to think that. But I do think Alice and you are like sisters though… but… I don't know why I don't see you as a sister. I guess it's because I was clueless and didn't see that I loved you, but not like in a sister way… it was deeper than that. I didn't know what love is because I never loved anyone. All girls I've dated were just a popularity scheme. So I was practically oblivious to what I felt for you because… I've never felt that way towards someone. At first I thought you were like a mother to me." He laughed at that. "Sounds stupid, uh?"

"Yes, that sounds very stupid," I joked with him.

"I loved my mother very much and no one could take her place in my heart, but when you did… I thought you were like a replacement mother for me. But you were really—"

"The person you loved more than your mother?" I guessed and he shook his head.

"The person I loved equally to my mother."

"Oh… you know my mother died too," I said.

"You're lying," he accused.

"Okay, my mom isn't dead… but she might as well be," I said and his eyes squinted.

"Why would you say something like that?"

"Because," I sighed, "I will never get to see her again."

"She left you?"

"Yeah."

"You mean, abandoned? Right?"

I shook my head. "No… she… had to leave."

"She had to leave you?"

"No, she didn't have to. I wasn't taken' away, she chose to leave, but I don't blame her though."

"Why did she have to leave?"

"Well, it's a long story," I told her and he smiled sympathetically.

"We got time. I'm patient," he said and I thought for a moment. Should I really tell Edward about my worst nightmare? They thing that haunts me day and night? What's the worst thing that could happen?

"My mom… she moved away with her new boyfriend. He's a baseball player and takes care of her. My daddy, Charlie, I had to stay with him because being with my mom was too dangerous. When I was young, probably 7 years old at least, someone broke into my mom's house and—" The tears ran down my eyes now, and I was hiccupping and sniffling. I wiped the tears from my eyes and dropped my head down on my lap. I felt head come over to the desk and place his hand on my back.

"Bella," he said in a hushed voice. It sounded like a wind blowing by in the breeze. "Don't cry. I'm here," he said and his hand moved away. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." He was next to my ear now.

"Sorry," I said lifting my head up and wiping the tears. "I just…" I sniffled again, "II don't want to talk about it."

"Bella… your eyes are red. Do you need a napkin or something? We have eye drops if you need it," he offered, looking deep into my eyes. "You looked pained. Does something hurt?"

"Yes. I'm broken," I whispered to him.

"Because of me?"

"No… a part of me is lost."

"Your mom?"

The side of my cheek dropped on the cold surface of the desk and I sighed. The chill relaxed me a little and I closed my heads. "I am the moon and you are my stars that brighten my night, so I'll never get lost in the dark," I recited and I could imagine Edward puzzling at that point.

"Uh?"

"That's what my mom use to tell me. She said… darkness doesn't exist when I'm around. She must be lost now… in the dark... and it's my fault."

"No it's not."

I was silent for a few minutes and opened my eyes to see Edward staring at me with a sad look on his face. "You don't know me," I muttered.

"Well… I would like to know you."

"I'm a sad, tragic story."

"Aren't we all?"

I lifted my head again and looked at him for a second. I felt so tiered right and I just had to ask. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I…?" I opened my arms and at first he didn't understand, but then he smiled, wrapping me in his arms. I wanted to fall asleep, I was just so tired. Crying at worn me out. "Thanks," I said and he gently rubbed my on the back and I closed my eyes.

"Bella?" he said a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"Good… I thought you fell asleep," I said and I laughed.

"I don't think my mom's new boy friend will hurt her. I've meet him. He's a nice guy. Charlie's wrong," I said to myself and Edward let go of me.

"What? You're confusing me?"

"My mom's first boy friend she had when I was living with her had attempted to molest me. I was 5 years old and my mom had made him mad some how and he… wanted revenge."

Edward didn't say anything… just stared mindlessly. "He molested you?"

"Attempted…? And Charlie doesn't want that to happen anymore so he wanted me to stay with him. My mom wouldn't allow it so he took her to court and won. That's why my parents don't talk anymore. They're mad at each other."

"What exactly happened…? I mean, did he break into the house or something?"

"Yeah. He didn't live with us anymore because my mom kicked him out. He broke in and… First he went looking for my mom and found my alone in my room. He didn't do much, just tried to, you know… strip me and my mom came and hit em' with a frying pan she found in the kitchen. Then he took the pan from her and hit her with it, harder. I was young; I didn't know what to do so I ran out the room. The police came and… my mom was gone in the ambulance trunk. I never saw her again until we went to court."

When I was done telling the story, Edward hugged me. "It's okay," he said. "I'm here… and I promise to always be there for you."

I pulled away from him and smiled. "Thank you," I said and he smiled back at me.

"It's no problem at all, Bella… I'm here 'till you send me away."

What did you think? I think it's one of the best chapter! Can't wait for you guys to read the next chapter. Please review because I really want to know what you think, it's one of the important chapters. Please, take the time to review. I don't think you even need an account. Just please tell me if you really liked it or thought it was cheesy or something.

Thanks for reading!