Of Children, Draft Letters, and Proposals
Lena looked at James' mother, a flash of mock horror forming across her features.
It was the last thing she needed, just as she was trying to tell James she didn't want children (though in truth she really wanted to try) for fear of her dying, the one person that wanted them the most more so than her had to walk in the room.
"Hello Katherine." Lena said, walking over to embrace her mother-in-law.
"Dear Lena, how are you? I still am curious to know what you were talking about though..."
"I'm good, it's just...as far as family affairs go...I'm...I'm afraid to have children." she admitted, looking at the floor.
Mrs. Diamond gasped, "But why, dear? You have the perfect figure, and I know the idea may seem daunting at first, but in truth once you get used to the extra weight there's really nothing to fret about."
Lena sighed as she sat down on the couch next to James, "It's not that...I was just telling James that females in my family have a history of dying in labor...no-one knows why, either."
"Sweetie, there's ways to stop that from happening," he tried again, hoping to ease her fears about the future.
"Yes but...you see...that's why I'm afraid. As much as I'd like to try...I'm afraid if we did and I ended up carrying your child, when it came time to bring that child into the world, they would arrive...but grow up without a mother."
That explanation alone seemed to quiet James, and his mother began talking instead.
"I understand where you are coming from, Lena, and given your reasoning, I can respect your wishes. Life is not a toy to be played with, because if it breaks, there is no fixing it." she replied.
"Thank you...I'm truly sorry...I do know you wanted grandchildren, and you would have loved them dearly..."
"That I would have. But perhaps you my still change your mind, despite the risks involved. Only time will tell. Well, James, Lena...I'm having tea with Lena's parents, I'll leave you two to your discussion. It was nice just to chat even for a little while, now that I don't see my boy as much," she said, and Lena smile at detecting the mother-hen-with-an-empty-nest tone in her voice.
"Goodbye Katherine." Lena said, standing to hug her mother in law.
"Goodbye mother." James did the same.
As she left, James turned back to Lena, his gaze warm.
"So that's why you've not wanted to...engage in risky behavior at home, then, right? You're afraid that if we did and you ended up pregnant, you'd die?"
"It is. I'm sorry James, I do know you wanted children as well...I'm not saying no, I'm simply saying we...well, I'd like to live just as a married couple for awhile yet...that way if we do decide to have children and I do die, I can say I've honestly enjoyed the time we've spent together and that I know you better now then I did then when we first married," she explained.
He smiled, "So my mother's getting to you again? You're going to let time run its course, and perhaps down the road-"
Lena quickly kissed his lips, cutting him off.
"I'm saying we try eventually despite the risks, just...not now."
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One day as the eight teens were sitting around talking, Lena's mother walked in with a letter.
"Lena, dear, may I talk to you?"
"Yes mother. What is it about?"
"The family, nothing to really worry about."
"Oh ok…" she kissed James' cheek before standing, "I'll only be a moment, dear."
As Lena and her mother walked into the kitchen from the parlor, her mother handed her the letter. She gasped after reading through it.
"Attention Mr. James Diamond,
It is known that you served with Rashard Mendall in the 8th Pennsylvania. That regiment is being summoned to respond to a request of backup by the 20th Maine under the direction of one Joshua Chamberlain. Please pack your things and be at the train station a fortnight from Tuesday."
"H-He can't leave, not again… not so soon after we've just been married." Lena choked out, surprised she could talk.
"I'm afraid that's the way war goes, dear. Loved ones torn from us with a moment's call, the blink of an eye," her mother reasoned, before adding, "Have you made it count?"
"Mother! You know what happens to females in our family, should they become pregnant! I'm much too afraid to try!"
"Well, if you are ever going to, I suggest you do it soon, before James must leave. You may never see him again…"
"But mother! Pray tell, this is but a sick joke, someone printing summons letters to scare wives and girlfriends!" Lena raised her voice, causing Adeline to walk in from the parlor.
"If it is a joke, Lena, then do explain why I have received one with Carlos' name." She stated, forcing Lena to accept reality.
"Oh no….not- but that means….Logan…Kendall! Oh poor Juliet!" Lena sank to her knees, head in her hands.
"What is the world coming to for everything to be perfect, and then suddenly, it's ripped from you, destroying happiness and dreams of the future?" she cried, her mother placing a hand on her shoulder.
"It's okay… I would talk to James tonight though, if you were ever thinking about having children."
Lena nodded, looking at Adeline.
"I will mother. Adeline, shall we head back to the parlor and join our boys?"
"That sounds wonderful. Let's not bring this up though, there is no reason to ruin the atmosphere."
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Later that night, Lena had gone to bed early, simply having said a quick goodnight to James before heading upstairs.
Laying curled on her side next to the wall, two pillows beneath her head, she smiled when she heard the door to the bedroom open.
"Lena? You alright? You were awfully quiet after your mother talked to you...something wrong?" James asked, crawling into bed next to her.
As he went to wrap an arm around her waist, she turned to face him.
"I know."
"You know? About wh-"
"The letter. You have to leave again...and this time it's not just you. Kendall, Logan and Carlos...your entire regiment has been requested to help back up another one! I can't imagine how many of you...might not make it back alive this time...almost losing you once scared me enough the first time. And...my mother...she talked some sense into me."
"How so?" he wondered, leaning into her to kiss the hollow of her neck, eliciting a giggle.
"Sh-Sh-...Would you stop? I can't think straight with you all- Oh. She must have talked to you already...about if we're to have kids we should throw caution away before you leave for I may never see you again..." she said slowly, gasping at the end as James lightly nipped her collarbone.
"Yes, your mother did talk to me, but what I want to know is...What made you change your mind so soon? Just last week you told my mother we weren't going to have children because of-"
His sentence was cut off as her arms wrapped around him, pulling him on top of her.
"James, just be quiet and kiss me."
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Thirteen days later, Adeline, Juliet, Tori, and Lena accompanied their lovers to the train station, each weeping inside but being strong enough to maintain their composure on the outside.
"Do you really have to go Kendall? I'm-" Juliet started to say, but corrected herself, "We're going to miss you so much..."
Kendall kissed her softly, his hand resting over her swollen stomach. Juliet was due in about a week, and it only made Kendall's heart feel a pang of regret at the realization he probably would not be by her side when she brought their children into the world.
As he thought, he felt the one of the babies kick against his hand.
"Go..." She whispered.
"Julie-"
"Just, please, before I beg you... Please just... Go." Juliet said quietly. Kendall frowned, lifting her chin staring into her eyes.
"I love you, you know that, right?" Kendall asked Juliet who hugged him as best as she could, her swollen stomach in between them. Juliet nodded, responding with, "And I love you, Kendall."
Kendall nodded, making the mistake of turning to look at Lena and James.
She was clinging to him like if she would let go, she would die.
"I would give every day since your return just to see you not leave again," she said sadly, sniffling.
James lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her ring, "I'll be back. I promise."
"Th-that's what you s-said last t-time! And then we thought you d-d-d-" she started to say, before James simply cut her off and kissed her.
Meanwhile, both Logan and Carlos held tightly to Tori and Adeline, both girls had solemn expressions on their faces.
"Carlos, you come back, do you hear me? Don't let me catch you walking along like I did the first time, now." Adeline admonished, managing a smile.
"I promise you, Addie... I'll be back."
"Tori?" Logan asked. Tori refused to look up at him, holding him tightly.
"Tor... Victoria, please look at me." With a heavy sigh, she looked up at him.
"You can't leave me! You don't believe in this war!"
"Tori, I may not believe this war should be fought on a battlefield, but I do believe that I'm going to help finish it."
"Logan-"
"Tori I have made up my mind... I will go, but I will remember you always..."
"Log-"
"No, no, I want you to answer my question." He said, kneeling before her.
"Victoria Williams, I love you... You're my guiding light, my guardian angel, my saving grace, my sweet salvation and the love of my life... And ...I want you to be my wife... Marry me?" He asked, revealing a small ring on a palladium band, a small sapphire on the band.
Tori gasped, speechless, instead reaching to grab Lena's arm, trying to get her attention.
Lena laughed at her best friend, "Poor girl...Logan, you've knocked the words clean out of her mouth."
"If I do say so myself, I feel a little left out," Adeline commented giggling, not realizing Carlos was staring at her.
"Well...Addie...about that." He started, turning her to look at him, taking her hands in his own, kneeling while he spoke.
"I've loved you since the day I met you. And when we started talking, those Florida nights, I never wanted them to end. I wanted to be by your side forever, and now, with this war? I'm afraid I might lose you forever, the same way Lena and Juliet are worried about James and Kendall. I'm asking now, because I do cherish you, and I do want us to be together, and I don't give a damn about the war getting in the way of our love. Adeline Jeanette Edwards, will you marry me?"
Adeline stared at Carlos, dumbstruck. Speak of the devil...Saying she had felt lonely by being the only one not engaged...look how the tides had turned!
"Yes."
"Wait, which one of you said that?" Lena said laughing, looking from Tori to Adeline.
"We both did." both looked at each other and grinned before saying it separately.
"Yes." Tori looked at Logan smiling, unable to hide the happiness in her voice.
"Yes." Adeline looked at Carlos, who's smile made her feel like it was Christmas all over again.
As rings were slipped on fingers, the train whistle blew, a shrill high note reminding everyone of their current situation.
"We've got to go," Kendall started, putting his hands on Juliet's shoulders, gently pushing her apart from him.
Beside him, James had done the same to Lena.
"Helena, we'll be back. I promise you. I just wish I didn't have to leave..."
"Go...you'd better hurry..." she encouraged, one last flitting smile crossing her lips as she kissed James a last time, "I'll be eargerly awaiting your return."
Logan looked at Tori, motioning to herself and Adeline, "I except you two won't misbehave while we're gone?"
They nodded, "We'll be good."
And as Kendall and the boys boarded the train, he heard Juliet call after him, "When you get back...It may not just be me!"
Kendall poked his head out of the door just as the train started moving. He needed to say something, and he needed to say it quick.
"I know. If that's the case," he yelled over the roar of the engine, the steam making his eyes water, "Tell them I love them!"
He heard Juliet start to yell something in reply, but by then the train had pulled him out of earshot.
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