Hello folks :) I am incredibly sorry for not having updated this sooner. I have had some bad times recently and wasn't in my best writing shape. I hope you still like this story and enjoy this new chapter.
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I guess that was just the way we had been created.
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We were back at the motel in no time. Things had been pretty quiet after my outburst on Sam. Technically, I was Mary's reincarnated form so that made me their mother in a way; but the shame I felt each time Sam spoke to me in his ever gentle and polite manner made me clench in guilt. I felt like a kid who had disobeyed her older brother and waited for the scolding to come but it never did. He was just being as nice as he could be and it was ripping my sense of self-pride to shreds. I deserved some kind of reprimand or something.
Dean wasn't able to sit still for long. He kept going over the files, getting more coffee or resumed work on Sam's laptop… but never sticking to one thing for long. He looked like a puppy chasing its own tail round and round.
The revelation by the cherub had him worked up and it was plain obvious that he was trying his best to keep his temper within rational boundaries. He spoke and responded in monosyllables or one line answers.
It was starting to get stifling in the room. I checked my phone though I already knew what I'd find. Yep, no signal.
Sam went over to the table Dean was working on and said something to him but got only a grunt in response. There was a short exchange between the two. I wasn't listening into their conversation but it sounded nothing like a happy chat. I was looking the other way trying to concentrate on some slapstick sitcom on the TV.
Suddenly I heard the sudden clap of a singular, swift motion which was followed by Dean's surprised growl. I whipped my head towards them and saw Sam towering over his brother who was scowling back. The gentle giant slid the now closed laptop off the table and walked towards me, leaving his brother muttering to himself.
"Hey Mom…" his soft tone which never failed to take me by surprise initiated its way into a humble conversation, "… I was thinking maybe you'd like to check your mail. You know… perhaps Caden might have received your message?"
He offered me the laptop with both hands as though making a peace offering to some pagan deity. I took it quietly and placed it on the bed I was sitting on before I mumbled what came out in a somewhat sheepish tone of thanks. I looked up to face the giant who was still looming over me. After an awkward moment of reckoning he cleared his throat as he ran his fingers through his wavy mane.
"I, um… I gotta go and check something out at the coroner's. Do you need anything?" he asked without any hint of remorse or scorn. I realized that the reprimand I was waiting for was not going to come.
"No, I'm good. Thank you Sam."
He lingered on for a second, pulling his lips into a straight line as he gnawed on his lower lip, looking deep in thought. I raised my eyebrows quizzically.
"So… I'll just be out for a while. Be back soon." He mumbled awkwardly.
I nodded in affirmation as he put on his jacket and made for the door. With everything that was going on, I couldn't help but worry for his wellbeing.
"Sam…" I called him back weakly as my guilt for my bad behavior was mercilessly wreaking my otherwise usual calm demeanor. He spun around in an instant, as though he were expecting me to call him back. Full puppy eyes mode in activation. If there was truly a heaven somewhere up there, it was probably taking a jolly good time in exacting its revenge on me for yelling at my gentle soul of a son earlier. I felt miserable.
"Yeah Mom?"
"Don't be too long… and be safe, okay?"
An instantaneous look of astonishment washed over his face for a moment before the features underwent an immense volume of tenderness.
"Okay… sure thing Mom." His benevolent expression banished my guilt as I met his forgiving eyes. His soul seem to glow with his smile.
"Don't worry, I'm a big boy now." He grinned at the end, making me do the same. I shook my head, turning to the laptop as I placed it on my lap and booted it on. I could still feel him by the door so I looked up to see if he had forgotten anything.
His hazel eyes swept across the room with a stress-free glance before he walked out and shut the door behind him.
"Hey Sammy!" Dean bellowed suddenly, making me jump and nearly dropping Sam's heavy, almost full-keyboard sized laptop on the hard floor. Before I could recover, he made another trumpet-pitched broadcast.
"Get some M&M's on your way back!"
Seriously? I gawked at him in stupefied silence.
"Yeah Dean… I heard you before you said that." Sam's fading voice could be heard from the other side of the door.
A satisfied look spread over the older boy's face. My sweet little boy of four years old, face was smeared with melted candy invaded my thoughts and I reveled in the dreamy feeling it brought. It was a beautiful trance to be in.
"What's cooking in your head?" Dean's uninterested voice barged into my reverie.
He still had faint lines of stress marring up his charming face but they were toned down in severity. He was even generous enough to shower me with his swaggering smile, brandishing it off with his trademark smirk before turning to pour some more coffee into his stained mug.
"You want some coffee Kid?" his voice sounded faraway with his back turned to me.
"Yeah Dean, thanks." I rubbed my brow bones which suddenly felt heavy all of a sudden. I had been too worried about Sam's opinion about my inconsiderate action and had unknowingly taken on too much to think about.
I signed in to my email account, half-expecting to find a reply from Caden, half-dreading that I wouldn't. Dean had refilled his mug and got me one and had started to walk towards me. Contrary to my pessimism, there was one recent reply-email sitting patiently in my inbox. I was extremely relieved to see it was indeed from Caden even before I opened it.
Dean was balancing a candy bar on the rim of one of the mugs when I suddenly let out an elated scream and startled him, making him drop the mugs.
Out of habit, he dove for them before they could hit the floor and yelped when he got scalded by the hot coffee, making me jump in turn as I nearly dropped Sam's laptop for the second time that day.
Before I could ask him what had made him shriek like a terrified six year old in pigtails, he spewed out a string of colorful expletives which made my ears ring in dizzy clamor. He stopped abruptly when he suddenly seemed to remember that he had said those things to his mother. The silence was short-lived and replaced quickly with some very bad-tempered muttering.
I set down Sam's laptop and sprinted to his side in three steps. He was sprawled in a clumsy manner on the floor, tummy-side down with the mugs upturned and empty but thankfully not broken. His arms were already starting to show signs of the scalding burn as tiny blisters and injured areas of his skin began to appear. The reddened area was already blotched with varying intensities of burns which seemed to increase in their expanse as I watched them.
Dean was, understandably, glaring tetchily at me. He looked like a bristling cat that had been cornered and was ready to claw my eyes out.
"I'm sorry about that Dean. Here, let me-" I started to say as I made a move for his shoulders and the arm that looked less burnt.
"What the hell did you do that for?!" he slapped away my hands and hissed at the offending fiery sensation.
"I am sorry Dean. I got carried away and-" I made another attempt to try to haul him up.
"Nearly scared the living shit out of me!" he slapped away my hands again, swinging his arms at me. I decided to let him finish seething before I tried again.
"Look, I said I'm sorry. I really am."
"Like hell you are!"
"Hey! I said I am, okay! Why are you being such a drama queen?!"I suddenly lost my patience with his sour attitude.
"Dra- drama quee- YOU are calling ME a drama queen? What if I had gotten a hernia or pulled something with your banshee-screaming?!"
"How dare you! I did not scream you moron! And yeah, you're a big fat whiny drama queen! Understand you stupid pretty boy?!"
"I AM NOT PRETTY!"
"OH YES, YOU ARE! With your full lips, flawless complexion and delicate long eye-lashes you'd put any self-conscious girl to shame, you dumbass! 'NOT PRETTY' my foot!"
"And I'm not fat! Or whiny!"
"Shut up!"
"Oh for the love of… why are you being such a choking hazard today, huh?"
"What, me?! YOU started it!"
And with that last throw at him, I socked him on the side of his head.
"Ow!" he threw an acidic glare at me before screaming at the top of his lungs, "That hurt, you stupid bitch!"
Appalled by his selection of words, I fell into a stunned silence. I wasn't sure whether it hurt or repulsed me. I stared at him, dumbstruck. What I saw further worked to silence me even more.
He looked utterly horrified, the meaning of his uttered words obviously sinking in. As I kept staring at him, his cheeks and ears slowly turned an unmistakable shade of crimson and he looked away, finally surrendering after our nasty word brawl.
I overcame my initial shock when I saw that he was terribly disturbed by what he had said to me. I immediately absolved his last retort at me as I made a feeble effort to salvage the smashed pride of my guilt-struck son.
"I'm sorry for hurting you again Dean. I am just not myself today. Let me see that…" I said as gently as I could, reaching out another time to see his burns. There was no need for any more argument on the same day.
"S'alright." He replied in a tone to match my own, "I haven't been easy to deal with either. I'm sorry too Kid."
He pushed himself off the floor and stood awkwardly while I pulled myself to my feet.
Once we were both standing, I tried to take a look at his wounds. He refused to be mothered and said he was fine. I purposely grabbed him at a site of one of the burnt areas on his forearm and he grimaced in discomfort.
I rolled my eyes at him at his stubbornness and tugged him to the bathroom sink, running cold water on the nasty burns. After soaking a towel thoroughly, I wrapped his forearms with it and brought him back to the bedroom area.
He sat quietly on one of the beds, keeping the wrapped towel in place, while I fussed around for some salve or antiseptic ointment.
"Uh… hey Kid?"
"Yeah?"
"What are you getting so worried about… I mean, it's no big deal."
"It always is a big deal for Moms, sweetie. Don't have be to so gallant just because I came back in a teenage girl's form. Save it for the ladies your age." I replied in a light tone, smiling to myself as I continued to rummage through the first-aid supplies.
"Hmm… I guess you are right." his smile reflected in his voice and I didn't need to look at him to know that. "But considering your extreme worry for my well-being, you are forgetting something."
I stopped and turned to face him. "Really? What?"
He smiled more broadly before taking on a serious look.
"You are an angel shield, right? If you could heal and pull Cas out of his unconsciousness, these burns must be like child's play to you."
I stopped digging into the kit any further. He was right. How could I have forgotten that?
"I'm still pretty new to thing whole healing stuff, Dean. It had slipped my mind. But yeah, you got that right. We won't know till we try though, right?" I said as I sat down beside him and started to gently unwrap the wet towel from his arms. The burns looked very painful as evident from the wicked redness on the tender skin of the inner side on his forearms and wrists. I gently placed a hand on one of his arms and felt horrible for being the cause of his hurt. The area was giving off heat and I am sure it stung much worse than nettles. Two mugs of steaming coffee was not a negligible amount.
I got him to hold out his hands in front of him, and by placing a pillow on his lap I rested his arms on them, burnt side up. I recalled the time I had healed Castiel and tried to remember how I got to trigger the curative power in me. There was no specific formula or protocol, I realized, as I had acted entirely on instinct.
"Kid?"
"Hmm?" I mumbled in reply, trying to get myself into that particular state of mind.
"It's okay if you can't remember. Don't push yourself." Dean's voice was considerate and kind.
"Shh… I've almost got it."
"Oh. Alright."
Silence reigned as I began to feel a familiar sense of warmth stirring at the base of my hands and they slowly travelled upwards to my palm, surging through my fingers and, eventually, my fingertips. The area around my birthmark on my chest felt the same way.
I heard a hushed gasp of surprise from Dean when my hands began to glow in a soft blue light along with the birthmark on my chest. It must have surely presented an odd spectacle when a circular disc of light began to shine through the fabric of my t-shirt as my healing ability was awakened.
"Dean, don't move till I am done. And if you feel anything during the process let me know, alright?"
Getting an affirmative nod from him, I gently placed my hands back on his injured skin and let the radiance emanating from my hands slowly envelope his wounded areas. Even though I was expecting it, I wasn't prepared for the sense of tranquility that followed. It was unlike the time I had healed the angel, when I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing.
"It's warm but doesn't hurt…" Dean began to tell me about the sensations he was feeling, "… it's like being dipped in a tub of cooling salve but it's not icy. The burn's dying out…"
He fell quiet for a minute before he spoke again.
"It's pretty cool, Kid."
I nodded to let him know I heard what he was telling me. I didn't speak for fear of disturbing the healing flow. I hadn't mastered it yet and had to modulate the steady current of the blue radiance. If I wasn't careful, it could get overwhelming like it had happened with Castiel.
In a matter of minutes, the glowing light began to dissipate and it dwindled out completely.
We stared at the new skin on his arms in amazement. They were clean and scar-free from older injuries and the burns were nowhere to be seen.
Dean whistled in uncorrupted appreciation as he held up his previously reddened arms and ran his gaze up and down on them, still a little fazed by the fact that I could actually heal him, just like Castiel had said. He remained seated, staring at me quietly and not saying anything. I mentally groaned thinking he was going to throw another of his typical wisecracks at me. The shiny wrapper of the candy bar which he had dropped earlier caught faint rays of light and it was sending out short, sharp beams of light. It caught my eye and I went to pick it up.
Next, I bent down to pick up the coffee mugs lying so incongruously out of place on the dusty floor rug. The black caffeinated beverage was going to give a nasty stain to it. I wondered if the manager would throw a fit when he saw it.
"Thanks… Mom."
I felt confusion warping my sense of logic after hearing something I was definitely not expecting. Turning around, I saw Dean still sitting on the bed. There was a faint blush on his tanned cheek and he looked remotely uncomfortable. It must have taken some amount of suppressing the usual Winchester gung-ho force to do that.
"Don't mention it sweetie." I smiled in sincere approval as I returned the mugs to their place on the single table in the room and went back to Sam's laptop.
I focused on reading the email I had received. Thank goodness for Sam's idea of writing to Caden.
Hey Squirt
Am I glad to hear from you… when you had disappeared unexpectedly again, I was at a loss on how to look for you. Fortunately I received your text telling me about your last location. I have been visiting the place from where you phased through everyday but you haven't returned yet. Do you know how long you'll be there? I am having trouble covering for you sis. It's been a little over a week and Mom doesn't seem to buy the story I cooked up for you. Come back soon.
Are Sam and Dean with you? I hope you are well and safe. I don't know when you'll get this message but I hope you reply soon.
Can't believe I'm saying this. I miss you Alex. Take care and be safe.
-Shih Tzu.
I sighed in relief. I won't deny that my eyes watered upon hearing from my brother, but I was too engrossed in the perplexity of the current bizarre events of my life that I didn't get time to dwell on my sentimentality. I was reassured by the pace of time in my realm. It was moving at a slower rate again, and that was good because it meant that I could make up for the three weeks I had spent here with my boys in their realm.
I was tempted to tell my brother about the unearthing of my past life but I didn't want to overwhelm him. There was so much I wanted to tell him. My crazy life in which I had the good fortune to know about my boys and meet them too, having an angel on earth and being friends with him, becoming aware of my healing abilities- all of them were dying to burst forth from this realm to mine with the aid of this electronic medium of communication. Everything was wonderful. Weird- yes- but wonderful.
I took a few deep breathes to compose myself. I'd have to be careful about what I told Caden. He was so much like Dean when it came to worrying his butt off while getting nerve-racked about his younger sibling.
"What does it say?" Dean asked with polite curiosity as he strolled over to where I was sitting and staring intently at the screen and sat down near me.
"It's from Caden. He got my messages. Says he is hoping I am with you guys and safe. He's asked me to return soon."
"Are you gonna tell him?"
"About what?"
"About us… Sam and me… and- and the way you are related to us. Ya know, the whole being-born-again gig."
"No… I guess I better not tell him yet. He'll go ballistic and I won't be there to explain stuff to him. I just- I am not sure how he'll take it. He's a lot like Sam you know, he can't sit still once his interest is captivated by something.. which can be any random thing. Like Sam, he gets down to digging to the bottom of it, research and all that come with it."
"Huh. Another nerd in the family. Who'd have guessed…" Dean mused, mostly talking to himself.
I quickly typed a reply and sent it back to my brother. I noted the time and realized it had been only an hour old. I made sure to mention the date and time in my reply email so that he could estimate the rate at which time was passing in both realms.
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It was another couple of hours later that Sam returned. He had called Dean a few minutes before he arrived to update on the latest and also ask if we needed anything. Dean told me about the weird suicide case Sam had come to know about. A man had stuffed himself with twinkies till he died. Literally.
Dean had also found about the extremely high rate of suicides that had taken place. It was much more frequent than normal, even after considering the weird ways in which people were dying or killing themselves. It got Dean into a pondering state and he fell quiet, studying the dates and statistics intently. A peaceful silence filled the room and save for the occasional sound of my typing on the laptop, there was a still quietness.
A soft knock on the door after about ten minutes signified Sam's return. He was a sight to behold. His clothes looked disheveled and the wavy strands of hair were out of place, tousled and matted in sweat. He looked like he had been in a wrestling bout. He was carrying a briefcase in one of his hands.
As soon as he walked in through the door and both Dean and I saw the state he was in, the older brother jumped to his feet and zipped to the younger one who was heaving tiredly.
"Sammy?!" Dean's perplexed voice broke through the tranquil atmosphere of the room. "Holy… What happened?! Sam?"
The taller of the brotherly duo waved a hand to quell his brother's concern.
"It's alright. I'm fine, Dean." Sam tiredly breathed out his words, "Stumbled across a demon… had a tackle with him… he got away…"
"A demon? Where?!" There was a frantic and angered undertone to his big brother's voice. The spikes on Dean's crown seemed to have perked up even more on hearing his brother's narration.
"Yeah, on my way back from the coroner's."
I was sitting quietly as the brothers exchanged news. There was something very odd about Sam. Something unearthly and, I daresay, a little unsettling.
That was when I noticed the light of the aura surrounding him. Something had changed. I narrowed my eyes, trying to get a better look at him. When I cast my eyes on Dean, I found that I could see his aura too. He had one of his own, slightly different than his brother's.
I realized I could see them with as much ease as I could see Castiel's wings. I just hadn't realized it earlier.
The auras surrounding my sons were almost similar in color and form. Both of them were sheathed by what looked like a shimmering wispy blanket all along their limbs and entire physical form. There was a surreal bluish-violet hue to the auras and tiny glistening dust wafted in them. The tint of one aura looked slightly different from another one, though they remained similar in nature and quality.
Dean's aura felt rich in vigor and there were robust vibes emanating from him. However, there was a vulnerable feel to it too. It was as if he was sub-consciously suppressing his spontaneity and a part of his aural form was numbed. In his current mood, the wispy strand from his aura encapsulated him, as though trying to comfort his concern for the younger brother.
Looking back at Sam, I froze.
My younger son's aura looked odd and displaced. In my understanding, there seemed to have some bizarre compensation imposed upon the otherwise healthy-looking delicate tendrils swirling out from his aura as they gently caressed his frame and infuse it with viable sustenance. The sheen was considerably lesser than his brother's. A dull grayish cloud started seeping out from where his heart was situated and its nefarious curls slowly began to encase his beautiful aura. And in the time that the gray clouds extent advanced on him, Sam's demeanor began to feel weakened. The innocent gleam in his eyes looked faded and suppressed.
I couldn't understand why.
In the midst of my puzzling deductions which had thankfully remained unspoken- considering Dean's worry for his haggard-looking brother- they had already gotten engrossed in discussing about Sam's unexpected encounter with the demon.
"What the hell does a demon got to do with this, anyway?" Dean asked in an irritated tone.
"Believe me, I got no idea." Sam replied in a drained manner.
Dean's eyebrow shot up in concern again. "You okay?"
He was looking at the gentle giant in an apprehensive manner, trying to decide whether his brother needed something to combat what appeared to be oncoming exhaustion. Sam's bearing was getting more and more fatigued and he had started to break out in sweat. His face had a clearly discernible sheen of perspiration as the fabric of his shirt had clung to his chest and back, drenched in his sweat.
I finally moved closer to him and placed a hand on his arm to get his attention. He seemed to be having trouble breathing and there was a slight flicker of panic in his widened- but also dulled- hazel eyes. That special greenish-gold spark lost its vibrant luster. I don't know why it saddened me greatly.
Looking at his brother and me, he collected himself.
"Yeah, yeah... I'll be all right." he managed to say before he swiped a hand to his sweaty forehead.
Giving his brother a muted scrutinizing look, Dean nodded. It was evident he did that to comfort his own uneasiness as much as his brother's.
Turning back to the briefcase, he got into his professional mood. He was the oldest Winchester after all.
"Let's crack her open. What's the worst that could happen, right?"
Sam and I shared an uneasy shudder at Dean's last comment. He should really choose some of his words before he says them…
Breaking locks wasn't something they'd get worked up about. A click, a snap and a spring falling in place somewhere inside the mechanism- and voila, the clasp on the briefcase sprang open.
As the briefcase was slowly eased open by Dean, I felt a short, but strong ripple of pressure. It felt somewhat similar to the time I had felt Castiel's phase-through but was on a different plane. Thinking it was some kind of bomb planted by the demons, I was about to tell Dean to stop but I couldn't get to it. There was a burst of bright white light and we all turned away from it, covering our eyes on instinct.
Sam gave a cry of surprise while Dean managed to mutter something incorrigible again.
"What the hell was that?" my older boy spoke our minds for us.
The pressure in the room change a second time and this time I knew who it was. There was a soft sound of fluttering wings and we all turned to look in the direction.
"It's a human soul. It's starting to make sense." A deep gravelly voice boomed within the walls of our motel room.
Sure enough. Castiel.
And then I saw it. What's he doing with a bag of burgers…? I observed confusedly.
He took a bite of the burger and went on to explain that his hunger was a clue. While he went about that, I snuck a look at his wings. They hadn't regained their shimmery grace. They still had that dull, matted look I had seen in the restaurant where we had met Cupid.
The angel, with his voice muffled by the big bite-sized chunks of the burger, explained that the town was actually suffering from hunger, more concisely starvation. And to be precise, he revealed that Famine was behind all of it.
When Sam enquired if our trench-coat clad celestial friend was referring to the horseman, he answered in the affirmative. Dean was not very thrilled about it. Castiel explained that the horseman Famine could make everyone starve for something that was their personal obsession or most hidden weakness. That explained the exaggerated romance and all the people stuffing themselves with food till they died.
When asked about his new interest in burgers, Castiel explained that Famine had affected him in his own way. Jimmy Novak, Castiel's vessel, had a liking for beef. With Famine in town this aspect of Jimmy had gotten triggered, compelling the angel to devour inhuman amounts of the said food item. I wondered how he was able to stomach all of the buns and patties since he seemed to be gobbling them with frequent regularity.
Castiel also told us that Famine had rounded up his own militia of demons given to him by Lucifer who would aid, feed and prepare him to "march across the land."
I couldn't believe my boys had been set up to this. Why did they have to be the ones to stop the impending apocalypse and all that came with it?
I sat down by myself on the bed while Sam went to use the bathroom. Dean and Castiel were involved in a discussion about the matter with an occasional question or suggestion from Sam. I was getting more and more disheartened by every minute's passing. I kept thinking of Sam's aura and it's spasmodic shudders. I decided to ask Castiel about it. When I looked at him I had second ideas though. He just didn't seem himself.
If someone had told me in any other situation that angels actually existed and they could get hungry, for burgers specifically, I'd have laughed my head off.
The take-out bag was emptied quickly and our angel friend looked at it sadly. He almost looked adorable. I would have gushed over his sad pouty face had the cause behind his sad face not been so unsettling. Won't you too find it scary to watch a celestial being made so helpless by something as unimaginable as ground beef?
Dean decided that the only option they had left was to remove Famine's ring from him in order to stop him completely. I straightened suddenly, getting into adventure mode. With my new-found powers I was sure to be of some assistance to them in fighting Famine.
"Where do you think you are going?"
Dean was looking at me in a demanding attitude.
"I'm going with you." I answered, a little taken aback by the sudden change in Dean's mood.
"No, you're not. You are staying here."
"But-"
"Alex, you are staying here. It's too dangerous. I can't go into battle if I have to worry about you half the time."
How could I win over the strong argument Dean had put down? I looked down and gave a defeated sigh. My mind started tumbling over with ideas to convince Dean to let me go with them. If only he'd let me go with them…
"Oh no, don't start that now."Dean's voice was cross and irritable.
I stared at him in confusion. What the hell was he talking about? "What?"
He rolled his eyes and scowled at me. "Don't give me that look. I know you are thinking of a million ways to let me fall over with your cuteness and get persuaded to let you tag along."
"You think I'm cute?!"
"Considering that you are the mother of two grown men, yes you are."
It was my turn to roll my eyes.
"Women are beautiful, no matter what shape or form they may be in."
Dean and I turned to face the angel who had entered a philosophical mood.
"The males of every species and generally made more rich in form or plumage than females. However, it's the female of a species that carry a delicate charm, often enticing the males to be smitten by it. It it more pronounced in mammals." Castiel rattled on without blinking. "And you are also mammals."
Dean rubbed a tired hand over his face while I tried to hold back a snigger. The angel angled his head in a slight tilt, a small frown creasing his vessel's dark eyebrows.
"Do you disagree Dean? I find that quite surprising since you take incalculable advantage of your physical charm." He paused for a moment, trying to remember something then promptly continued. "What is the term you use to refer to the females of the human species?"
"Cas…" Dean started hopelessly before his feeble attempt was thwarted by the angel again.
"I remember. Chicks. You call them chicks. I do not understand why you'd intentionally call perfectly sane and healthy women as infant chickens. Chicks come from poultry, not mammals." Castiel had a faraway look in his eyes as the frown continued to grace his features. The odd ways of the enigmatic Dean Winchester continued to puzzle him as his immortal neurons sizzled and strained to find a plausible explanation to his ward's eccentric ideas and mannerisms.
"Whatever." Dean admitted defeat and turned to his brother, "Sam, let's roll."
There was a significant pause before Sam replied weakly.
"Dean...I, um...I can't. I can't go." The younger hunter admitted quietly.
"What do you mean?" the older brother seemed to stop and hold his breath.
I sensed it had something to do with Sam's weakening aura and I sprang off the bed as I made a hurried rush to his side. He did not look good at all. I pressed a hand to his forehead, slightly alarmed to find it warmer than I'd have liked. My sons seemed to have abundant chances to come down with the most unexpected illnesses caused by outlandish creatures and incidents. He smiled weakly in response before turning to face his brother.
"I think it got to me, Dean. I think I'm hungry for it..." he owned up, looking remorseful. What broke my heart was the fact that he didn't look that upset even after Dean had punched Cupid.
"Hungry for what?"
"You know."
"Demon blood?"
The disapproving tone in Dean's voice was further deepened when Sam simply hung his head and looked at the floor in response, not uttering a word. Now this was news to me.
Needless to say, I was horrified to hear those words. That was what was effecting Sam's aura and suppressing the vitality of it? I looked up to look at the sweet giant's face but he refused to look at me. I knew that he knew I was waiting for him to look at me. He didn't.
Dean asked Castiel to take Sam somewhere far and out like Montana but the angel explained that it would be of no use; Sam had already been infected and the hunger would travel with him no matter where he went.
Was there no end to my little boy's suffering?
As suggested by Sam himself, Dean obliged and locked him up in order to keep him safe. I could clearly see the inner battle Dean was fighting against. Only heaven knows what he must have felt as he cuffed his little brother to the pipes under the bathroom sink. The regretful look on Sam's face made it all the more tough to play down the gravity of the situation and the impending task ahead.
Dean assured his brother that they'd be back as soon as possible. He thumped Sam on the shoulder before he walked out quickly. I peeked into the bathroom to take a look at my baby.
Sam smiled in what appeared to be an attempt to reassure me, but it looked more like a sad plea for help. He leaned back against the wall and tried to relax his ragged breathing.
Dean closed the door and Castiel barricaded it with a large dresser. My son walked up to me and handed me a small pendant. It was a charm to keep demons out.
"Looks like you are staying in Kid."Dean said quietly, "Someone's gotta babysit Sasquatch here."
I nodded to show him I understood as I took the charm and wore it around my neck with the black string looped in the ring attached on the top of it.
"I'll take care of him. Don't worry Dean."
"You take care too, okay?"
"Yeah. You guys be careful."
Dean gently walloped me on my crown in an imitation of Sam's loving pats before putting a half-hug around me. How uncharacteristically sweet of him, I marveled silently.
Castiel reminded me that I was an angel-shield and could do anything I wanted if it meant I had to keep Sam and myself safe. I detested it because he made it sound so final.
Dean gave an acknowledging nod as they walked out and I locked the door behind them. After checking the salt-lines and holy water bottles, I looked around to see if I missed anything.
Everything was prepped and in place.
I looked at the barricaded door to the bathroom and walked to it. Turning around the edge of one of its sides, I called out to my son.
"Sam? Can you hear me?"
A few seconds' silence passed before I heard the obvious clinking of Sam's handcuffs against the pipes.
"Yeah Mom, I can hear you. Why are you here? I thought you'd gone with Dean…" Sam's response was muffled against the two blockades.
"He wouldn't let me. Say's my cuteness would worry him for my safety…" I found myself grinning at my own words, "… big brothers. Go figure."
I heard a muffled chuckle in response. Boy, I was missing my little baby already. I slowly slid down against the wall closest to the door and pressed the side of my head against it. It made me feel closer to Sam.
"Sam?"
"Hmm?"
"… does it hurt?"
"No… not really Mom…"
"What is it like?"
Another long pause and the distinct clinking of the metallic cuffs followed by a strained sigh sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
"Sam?! Are you alright?"
"… yeah, yeah I'm fine Mom. Don't worry."
How could I not worry?! I could hear my pulse booming in my ears.
"Sweetie?"
"Yeah Mom?"
"I'm coming inside. Do you need anything?"
This time I heard him shifting around in his place. I could hear his frantic breathes and uncomfortable grunting before he replied.
"Mom… its- its okay. You don't have to…"
"Don't worry about me hon, just tell me what you need alright?" I decided to use some motherly force so that he'd stop trying to be so chivalrous.
"… My throat feels parched… I'd like some water, please Mom…"
The heart-rending request completely threw me off-guard and I scrambled to grab a water bottle from the table.
"Just hang in there sweetie, I'll be right in."
I heard him laughing good-naturedly before he spoke again.
"I'm not going anywhere Mom… how are you gonna move the barricade though?" he had probably heard the heavy dresser scraping against the door when Castiel had moved it.
I stared long and hard at the blockade. Nothing was going to keep my son from me. I took several deep breathes to relax myself as I held on to the water-bottle. Right now all that was standing between me and my son was one unwieldy dresser and one worm-eaten door.
I placed my hand on the wall dividing the bathroom from the room and concentrated my attention and energy into it. It didn't seem to undergo any change.
"Mom?" Sam's muted voice wafted through the partition, laced with concern.
I remained silent, trying to get the wall to do my bidding. It took a while but I released a sigh of congratulatory relief when I saw the familiar blue light radiate from my palm again.
"Mom, what's the matter? Is everything okay?" Sam's voice was riddled with slight panic.
"Just a sec sweetheart…"
I slowly pushed against the wall and was pleasantly surprised to feel my hand phasing through it. I had done it!
I kept on pushing till I had emerged half into the bathroom, meeting the perplexed hazel eyes of a very bewildered Sam. I smiled at him as I eased myself through the partition and phased through the wall completely.
"Mom…" he whispered, looking utterly stupefied.
"Hey Sam." I smiled as I went to him and unscrewed the cap of the water-bottle.
"…how'd you do that?" he asked, thirst forgotten momentarily.
"Castiel had said that I could repel anything I considered a threat or hindrance. Back when the vampire had tried to tie me up, I had phased through the binds."
"That does not explain how you walked though a freakin' wall Mom."
I sat back down, understanding fully well that he was not going to drink a sip unless I satisfied his queries first. I took a good look at him and felt my heart writhe in hurt.
He looked like a lamb tied up to be taken for butchering. Scared and terrified, yet hopeful.
"I thought of the wall as a hindrance. Anything that keeps me away from you or Dean… I'll consider it a threat. After focusing my attention to it, I tried modulating the flow of my energy into its solid surface so that it could change after I had gathered enough force…"
He gave me an incredulous look.
"And it worked." Sam's voice sounded painfully raspy and dry.
"Yes Sam, it did. Now would you please be a darling and take a few sips for me?"
Smiling tiredly, he gave a nod and leaned his back against the coolness of the tiled wall.
"Thanks Mom." He sighed as he closed his eyes that seemed heavy all of a sudden, "I'm so glad you're here."
"I'm always with you Sam. I'll always be there for you and Dean."
I held the water-bottle to my colossal son's chapped lips and gently poured in a small mouthful. I waited till he swallowed and followed the same procedure, repeating it a few times.
"The first time Dean and Bobby had detoxed me, I was a mess… I was in shambles…"
"Detox?"
"Yeah. To get the blood out of my system."
"What happened?"
"I saw and heard many things that weren't there… I saw you too."
"You saw me?"
"Yeah… the old you."
"Oh… what happened then?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Sam…"
"Its no use talking about it Mom."
"Come on Sam. Please." I shuffled closer to him so that I was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder to him. Well, I was more kneeling than sitting. His forehead was slick with perspiration and I grabbed a wet wash-cloth from the sink to press it against his heated skin.
"I thought you hated me."
I dropped the wash-cloth and stared at him in stunned silence. Did he really hear me say that?
"Sam, I…"
"Its okay Mom. I- I was hallucinating, I get it… so don't worry. I'm not scared anymore." He forced a fatigued smile at me.
"You were scared?" I gently brushed away the hair that had stuck to his face.
He nodded, eyes glistening in an undeniable watery sheen.
"I was terrified."
I felt my own face heat up and my vision got clouded by sudden unshed tears as I looked at the beaten and bruised soul of my son sprawled in front of me.
"Mom… please- please don't cry.. I'm sorry for upsetting you… you don't have to-"
I gently slapped him on the cheek to silence him as I cupped his face in my hands and placed a nurturing kiss on his forehead. I wasn't surprised by the dampness that streamed down on my thumbs as I held his face. He looked down, silently letting the tears speak for him.
"Its okay Sam… I gotcha sweetie, you are safe." I whispered into his ear and I gently wrapped my arms around his large frame. "Nothing can hurt you, my baby… I'm here… Mom's here."
We stayed that way, me occasionally wiping away his tears while crying myself, sitting in a comforting silence as we waited for Dean and Cas to return. I hoped they were doing well on their own.
I held my giant of a son in my arms as I rubbed gently on his back to ease his breathing and the panic that was brought on by the pull of his demon blood addiction.
As the minutes passed, Sam shifted so he was leaning against me, bundled in my arms. The metallic binds didn't let him have complete freedom, but being the baby in the family, he soon settled more or less contentedly as I comforted him the best I could.
"Mom…"
"Hmm? What is it dear?" I swiped away the messy bangs out of his eyes again, using the wash-cloth to keep away the perspiration from seeping into his eyes.
"I love you." His voice sounded small and child-like. "Thanks for coming back for us. I am going to miss you so much once you go back."
Fighting back the lump that had lodged in my throat, I hugged my baby closer to me.
"I love you too sweetie." I answered, dreading to face the fact that I'd have to travel back someday, "I miss you already."
I felt another torrent of tears going down his supple cheeks as I still held his gargantuan frame in my arms. It was a perfect fit.
Neither of us said a word as we let the tears do the talking for both of us again.
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