A/N: Ok everyone, I am very excited about this chapter, and you should be too. Why is that? Because this is the chapter where absolutely every one of your question WILL BE ANSWERED! No, really this is the single most pivotal chapter in the entire story- basically, this is where it really gets good. It's my biggest plot twist of them all, and it's my total favorite! THIS IS THE CLIMAX PEOPLE! GET EXCITED!!!!!!!!

Ok, rant aside, this is a really important chapter, I pulled out some serious twists, and I need to hear what you guys think! I expect at least TEN reviews, I know twice that is reading this story. Some of you may hate what I've done, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, LOVE IT OR HATE, YOU'VE GOT TO REVIEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if it's a week after I've posted it (or even a month if it comes down to that), I always reply to my reviews and I love getting them at any time.

Love you guys!

Chapter 21

Lost and Found

Carly had been right to assume that I would be busy the following week. Between orchestra rehearsals, and my private lessons with the school's horn professor, I spent more time in a practice room than I did in my dorm room. This included the time spent sleeping. I knew I wasn't alone, though. All of my friends from Orchestra were feeling the pressure of playing at the college level. Those of us who needed more work to get there practiced into the early morning hours. Lindsey was making jokes about moving her bed into one of the practice rooms so as to maximize convenience.

Before I knew it, Saturday had arrived, and brought with it the promise of Sean McNally's visit. My busy schedule was the only thing that had kept him away during the week. I had assured him that I was too busy running across campus to rehearsals to have time to even say hello to him, and he had complied by staying away. However, there were no rehearsals on the weekends, so I had no excuse to avoid him. I slept late, and ran over to the dining hall around ten to get breakfast, aware of the heavy, gray clouds that had blown in overnight.

After breakfast, I decided to go for a run through the woods as I had done every free minute I had during the week. I had already found my favorite trail, one that was infrequently used and wound its way through the thick forest so that there were places where even the bright sun couldn't break through the heavy foliage. On those sunny days, I ran under a dancing green light that bounced off everything; on cloudy days, like today, the dark woods hid in shadows, keeping secrets from me. It was altogether to much for me not to love it.

Sean had told me the night before he would arrive around noon, so I made my way back to my dorm and got cleaned up enough that I was presentable, wearing jeans and my own dark green Dartmouth t-shirt. I was taking a risk, leaving my arms bare when I would be spending time with Sean, but I was hoping there would be a way to avoid him touching me.

I ran outside, waving to Lindsey and Tabby when I passed their room, thinking I would wait for Sean on one of the benches by the parking lot, when no sooner had I stepped out of the building than I saw him making vampire strides towards me.

Suddenly he had me in his arms.

"Tessa! Oh, I've missed you so much. You look so different; so tan, so warm."

I wasn't warm anymore. His icy embrace gave me goose-bumps all over my body. The warm day in early autumn might as well have been in the dead of winter.

He let go of me and I got a good look at him. He was exactly the same. It felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me, but there was absolutely no difference in him from the day of my graduation. Same short blonde hair, same devastatingly beautiful features, same amber eyes, glowing with happiness.

"I've missed you too!" I lied.

"Of course you have," he said, oblivious of my falsity, taking my hand in his and walking with me around the large lawn of the campus.

We told each other stories about our summers, me providing him with tales of the places I had seen, and the discomfort of sleeping in thee backseat of Carly's car, him with narratives of his and Roger's hunting trip in Canada. He assured me that everyone in the McNally family was doing well, that Scarlett and Lisa were amusing themselves by working summer jobs at a fast-food burger joint, and Harper's garden was at the height of its splendor.

We had lunch in the school cafeteria, and I was very self-conscious that every girl, and even some of the boys, were watching him very closely. I didn't recognize anyone, except Sandra the flautist, who left almost as soon as she saw Sean was with me.

Soon we were back outside and talking again. Just as I had feared, I was relapsing back into the numbness, and I was afraid to spend much more time with him. I tried telling Sean about my busy schedule, to insinuate that I couldn't talk all afternoon, but he remained completely obtuse. I offered to play Frisbee, so at least he would let go of my arm, but he said he'd rather not just then.

I was running out of ideas, and we were running out of things to talk about, and soon he brought up the most difficult subject of all.

"So," he said, "You've had a whole summer to think about my offer. Have you come to a decision yet?"

"What offer?" I asked with false naivety.

He turned to look at me very seriously, holding me by both arms. "My offer to… make you one of us. My offer to be with you forever. Surely you've given it some consideration? You promised you would."

I had done that, hadn't I? Damn. I couldn't lie my way out of this one. Instead, I worked my way around the question.

"Have you ever tried to change someone before?"

My question didn't have anything close to the reaction I expected. A sudden wave of guilt and sadness swept through his eyes, and his face became impossibly paler. I caught this reaction before he had time to hide, and urged him on to tell me what had caused it. "What's wrong? You have to tell me!"

He waited for a long while, then told me in his cold, calm voice, "Yes. I have tried to change someone before. I was hoping you wouldn't ask this question, but I cannot lie to you, now that it is out in the open." He stopped, struggling to approach the topic, and both sympathy for his pain, and fear of what was causing it coursed through me.

"Please, tell me what happened," I begged.

He brought me to a bench by the side of one of the school buildings, far away from any passersby. Then, in the same pained and nostalgic voice, he continued his story.

"When I convinced Alison to change me, all those years ago, I wasn't entirely honest with her when I told her that I had no family, no loved ones. There was a girl. As a human, I was in love with her. Her name was Katherine." I pictured a lively young girl, no older than myself, with flowing red hair and freckles, and a happy, contagious smile. "We had been together since childhood, best friends, and eventually sweethearts. Both our families had died when we were young, and we were all each other had. I lived in constant fear that she would become sick and leave me like all the others had. When I met Alison, that day in the woods, the first thing I thought was that I had found a way that Katherine and I would never meet the same fate as our parents, that we could lead long, happy lives." He was talking about the same life he wanted for me. I suppose it wasn't too awful a thing to want for someone you loved, to give them the chance to always be happy and healthy.

"I waited a few weeks after I had been changed. I thought I had control over all my vampire instincts, at least enough to find Katherine and tell her what had happened to me. She had assumed I had gotten lost in the woods hunting and had died, and she was in mourning. I found her, and explained what had happened to me. She was terrified, naturally. It was so hard to be in the same room as her, her blood smelled so strong." Contorted pain was all over his face as he recalled the memory, and his calm voice was shaking.

"I finally convinced her to let me change her, so that we could be happy together forever, but I didn't know how weak I really was."

I saw the following events in my mind like an old horror movie playing in black and white. Sean's razor teeth, hovering over Katherine's pale neck, tears in her eyes, hope in his, and then, the worst thing possible-

"She died," I gasped in a tiny, petrified voice. Sean was bent over his knees, head grasped in his hands, shaking convulsively. I wanted to comfort him, but I was so scared, so disgusted, I pulled away instead.

"I couldn't stop myself. There was no way-" He was heaving useless air now, unable to cry. I got up and started to run.

"No, Tessa! Don't go! You don't understand!" He was immediately at my side tugging my arm to stop me.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, revolted by his touch, by everything about him…

"Tessa! Just listen to me! I was young, I was weak, and I didn't know what I was doing! Not a day has gone by that I've not felt sorry for what I've done-"

"You're lying! I don't believe you!" I was crying, and still screaming. Fortunately there was no one else around. I tried to yank my arm away, but he held tight.

"I am sorry! I loved her, almost as much as I love you! Enough that I wanted to be with her forever, and I killed her! That alone is punishment enough! But I would never let that happen to you-"

"How can you say that? How can you be sure? You can't! You didn't think you would kill Katherine either, and look where that got her!"

"You don't understand, there difference between hers and your blood is exponential! You are unique! Without a taste or scent to your blood, there is no way that I wouldn't be able to stop myself!"

"I don't believe you!" I screamed, and I finally collapsed crying, unable to get away from him. He picked me up and carried me to the shade where he held me until I was shivering violently, but no longer crying.

"Alright now," he said calmly while rubbing my back with his frozen hand. "Are you going to run away now? Can I let go of you? Because you're shivering quite profusely."

I sat up and nodded that I wouldn't run away. I couldn't look directly at him, or say anything to him, but I wouldn't ran away. Yet.

After a few deep breaths, he let me stand up and move a little ways away from him. I rubbed myself to try to warm my cold arms.

"So you see now?" He said calmly. "I promise I won't hurt you, when you decide to let me change you." When. He said when. Not if.

"I didn't make a decision yet!" I said defensively. "What if I wanted to live a real life? With a family, and kids? Maybe I want a job, maybe I want my own house, maybe I want a dog who won't run away from me because I smell like a predator!"

"You can have those things!" He said. "Maybe it won't be the way you'd expect them, but we could find a way to have all those things, I assure you. Nothing is more important to me than you and your happiness. I will do whatever it takes to see you smile every day, for all eternity."

"So take a picture of me! Don't take my life away."

He was about to say something more when something caught his eye. He stepped over to me and took my arm very gently in his hands.

"What is on your arm?" His eyes widened as he realized what he was looking at was a bruise in the perfect shape of his hands, wrapped around my arms where he had restrained me from running away. "Oh my, what I have done to you?"

"Oh, it's nothing," I said automatically. "I always have bruises, at least, I did all through the winter and the spring. They don't hurt, see-" I poked the bruise with my finger and didn't even flinch, I was so used to the constant pain. Sean's face filled with disgust.

"You had bruises all winter and you never told me? Tessa! If I had known I was hurting you…"

"What? What would you have done? Stopped? You can't control your strength, I understand that."

He growled in agony and frustration. "Tessa, don't you see? You have to let me change you! Then I won't be able to hurt you anymore! I feel so horrible for what I've done!" He twisted his head from the swell of emotion, then calmed himself to look me directly in the eye. "Tessa, I love you, and I will do whatever it takes so that I will never hurt you ever again. Please tell me you'll let me change you? Let me save you from this… from myself."

He was so sincere, and for a moment, I had a vision of what it would be like. Our life, played out in front of my eyes that had been wide with fear. I would always be eighteen, always with someone who loved me. His family would welcome me with open arms, and we would live happily as long as days came over the horizon. A life of simplicity, with music and laughs, flowers and games. It was ideal, it was good. It was enough to be happy.

And what were my other choices? I looked, but saw… nothing. Just a dark haze of mystery. Nothing I could make out to bring me happiness or love of any kind. Lisa didn't want me to say yes, but what good had she done thus far? She had gotten me to college, with no promises after that. I had no other plans. I didn't know what I would do if I said no. So I said…

"Yes. I will. I'll become a vampire."

Sean's face lit up with more happiness than I could imagine possible. He swept into his arms and kissed me with more passion than I had known in the seven months we had been together. When he finally let me go, placing me back on the ground, I was shivering again, and he pulled off his sweatshirt to offer it to me.

"Here, this will keep you warm. I have to say, I can't wait until you are a vampire and I no longer have to worry about your body temperature." He laughed, still overjoyed that I had said yes. I pulled his sweatshirt over my head, and it smelled like the strong perfume of his body. It was so sharp a scent it gave me a headache, but I figured that was better than freezing in the cool air that was coming in with nightfall, and it hid my conspicuous bruises.

"It's already twilight," I said, looking up at the fading traces of light that were hanging over the horizon. You should probably get going. I'm not allowed to have visitors after seven."

"You're right. I need to start driving home anyway." He pulled me into his chest and held me before letting go.

"I love you," he whispered sweetly into my hair, kissing the top of my head.

"I love you too," I said, looking up into his happy, amber eyes before his gave me one last peck, and ran off into the sunset.

I stood there until I saw his car leave the parking lot. I felt so numb, I was almost falling over. Rather than let myself collapse and not be found until the next morning in a hypothermic state, I started running. And I didn't stop.

I ran across the lawns and footpaths of the campus, eventually working my way to the wooded trails that I ran most often. I was on my favorite trail, running full speed toward dark black woods.

I felt like I had someone at my tail the whole time, someone with a pale face and a shining white smile. I wasn't running from him though. I wasn't running from anything.

I just wanted to feel something, anything. I was so numb, no happiness, no fear, no anger, and no sadness could penetrate my body. I threw myself through the woods, aching to feel something, begging. I would cut open my hands and bleed freely on the ground if it would just give me something to feel-

I crashed into something large. It felt like a tree, or a wall, except that it was incredible warm, and it was moving. And there was also the fact that it was breathing heavily.

I had fallen backward onto the ground upon impact, and I was looking up at the thing which was unidentifiable in the shadows. It was alive, and it was moving backward, farther into the dark. I just thought I could make out the shape of something tall, and hairy.

A bear, I thought automatically. Except that I didn't expect a bear would be that tall…

A canine-like howl erupted from the animal and I screamed. Not a bear, a wolf! I hastily tried to move but I was still on my back, on the ground. My limbs had all gone numb and wobbly, and I couldn't get up. I saw the wolf moving back towards me, and I closed my eyes to prepare for the attack.

Only at that very second, the clouds overhead broke and a beam of orange light from the sunset settled through the leaves on the face of a man.

A man with russet-colored skin and short, messy, black hair, who had piercing dark eyes, and a look of immeasurable confusion, mingled with extreme concern written all over his face.

No sooner had I seen those stunning eyes than I knew that I was in love with him.

He rushed forward and lifted me of the ground with two large, strong hands. Hands that were so warm, my body felt like it had sparks running up and down it, individually breaking apart all the numbness I had felt for so long.

I stared at his beautiful face until a smile worked its way up to the corners of his eyes, and he laughed at me.

"You're no vampire."

I almost stumbled backward, I was so surprised that these were the first words to come out of his mouth, but I was more startled by his wonderfully husky voice that sounded like a lullaby, one written especially for me.

I was at a loss for words, but he ignored this and instead bent over to sniff Sean's sweatshirt which I was still wearing. He crinkled his nose like it was the most disgusting smell he had ever experienced, and withdrew. When he had been leaning over me, I caught the scent of his body which was absolutely heavenly- he smelled like running in the woods, if that made any sense. To me, it was like a cat sniffing catnip. My eyes must have been wide with awe and desire when he pulled away and looked at me, but he made no recognition of it. In fact, it seemed as if his eyes had the same look in them, only intensified. I felt certain immediately that I could look into those eyes for the rest of my life…

He straightened up to his full height, which must have been close to six foot seven, as he was nearly a foot taller than I was, and focused his gaze on my forehead rather than my eyes, speaking to me in that beautiful voice, but with seriousness instead of humor as before.

"Don't take this too personally, but would you mind telling me who you are and why the hell you're wearing a vampire's sweatshirt?"

I stuttered for something coherent to say. "I- I… he-"

I was failing, to an embarrassing degree. He urged me once again, even more seriously. "Your name? Anything at all? God, I can't do this without your help. Look, just tell me one thing; is whoever he is still around here?"

"No," I finally managed to say. "He left a little while ago. How do you-"

"Let's save that discussion for a little later, could we? Now, I know this probably seems like backtracking, but I would really like to know your name…?"

"Tessa," I breathed. "Tessa Calder."

"Tessa," he said, with every emotion I could name and some that were still mysteries to me laced in his voice as he repeated my name. Suddenly, he lifted me off the ground into the haven of his arms and he kissed me.

He kissed me! He was kissing me like I had never been kissed before. I had no warning, but it was magical and wonderful, and nothing I could have imagined or expected. Heat was radiating of his body into mine, warming every limb and thawing the frozen pools of my soul. I felt like I had been a million piece puzzle and someone had finally put me together exactly as I belonged.

The most surprising thing was that I didn't object, because I never wanted him to stop. I didn't even know his name, but I knew that I loved him. I knew it like he was the only one who could anchor me to the earth; gravity had no more effect on me. It was like being blind my whole life, which I suppose I had been, and suddenly seeing light for the first time. He ran his hand through my hair and pushed his mouth harder upon mine, and I willed my body to melt and become one with his.

I forgot about Sean. Sean no longer existed in my mind. I forgot the life I had seen us having; I forgot the life I had always wanted to live. I forgot all my hopes, dreams, desires, friends, family; I forgot my own name. The only thing that existed was the man that was holding me to him, kissing me like he needed my lips more than he needed air.

However, the best was yet to come. Because when he finally broke away, both of us breathing unevenly, I saw in his eyes, the most beautiful thing I would ever know; I saw that every feeling of insurmountable bliss I had felt in those few seconds, he felt them too.

"Tessa Calder," he said, "My name is Jacob Black."

OH. SNAP. That's all I have to say :)