Upon returning to the Phoenix, the entire ship seemed to have gone down mood wise. It was like a depressing darkness fell onto the whole starship. But the only person who seemed to be truly affected by it, and even believed to be the cause of it, was Circuit.
When Circuit came to inside the Hospital, she managed to escape to the bedroom connected to Ratchet's room, locking the door behind her. Ratchet, Sasha and Clank pounded on the door and told her to come out so they could talk, but she refused. In fact, she didn't say or do anything, she just remained silent no matter how much her parents yelled at her to open the door. Eventually, Sasha became fed up with the lack of her daughter's cooperation and declared that she was going to blast the door down. But Clank quickly stopped her and said that shooting the door would only frighten Circuit further, so the Cazar backed out on the idea. It was after several more minutes of begging Circuit to come out that the three finally gave up. They all ventured to the Bridge where they sat in silence for awhile. Though, every now and then, one of the three would go off and try to talk to Circuit again, and even bring her some food some times. But, whenever they checked on the food hours later, they would find it untouched.
Ratchet and Sasha were now sitting lazily around the Bridge, feeling a heavy and dark feeling that now surrounded the Phoenix. Sasha pretended to check the stats of the remaining planets in the Nefarious search while Ratchet messed around with his Omniwrench. There were a few specks of dirt on it, most likely collected from Zeldrin's ground, and he brushed them off. His ears then gave a hopeful twitch when he heard the doors to the Bridge open, but they settled down when the only thing the Lombax saw was one green eyed robot. He and Sasha looked at Clank.
"Any luck?" Ratchet asked. His ears lowered when the robot gave a sad shake of his head. The Lombax threw his back against the wall and let the top of his Omniwrench hit the ground. At this point he was more annoyed or frustrated instead or worried or concerned. "I swear to Orvus, she's gonna die in that room!"
"Don't say that!" Sasha said with a somewhat offended expression.
"Ratchet, you know better than to joke about Circuit and death!" Clank yelled. "Besides, you know why she is upset."
"Yeah...yeah, I do know..." Ratchet said as he calmed down. He sat himself in a chair and placed a hand on his head.
"I still don't get it. Why exactly is Circuit so upset? She didn't do anything wrong. In fact, she saved someone! She saved you, Clank. So why is she like this?" Sasha asked.
"You don't get it," the Lombax said, looking at his friend. "Circuit's never killed anything before."
"What? But she's your daughter! She's had to have killed something in her lifetime."
"Nope, not one thing. Circuit isn't exactly one for killing or even destroying. You know what she's like. Could you imagine a little girl like her killing something on purpose?"
Sasha thought about it for a moment. She imagined Circuit in front of a burning town, several dead bodies sprawled on the ground, and blood splattered across her clothes and machete. The Cazar quickly shook the image out her head. She did not want to imagine that ever again. She was wrong, Circuit shouldn't have to kill anything, daughter of an intergalactic hero or not. She was just too innocent to kill things. Circuit was a creator, not a destroyer, and she had just destroyed something for the first time. No wonder she was so upset.
A thought suddenly came to Sasha about the way that Circuit was acting right now. She looked at Ratchet, "Hey Ratchet?"
"Huh?"
"The way that Circuit is acting right now...is this...is this like how she acted after she attacked you when you first had her?"
Both Ratchet and Clank looked at the Cazar, miserable looks coming onto them. Sasha then regretted saying anything. She knew that both of them were now thinking of all the times that they saw Circuit depressed in order to compare it with how she was acting now. After several tense filled moments, Ratchet nodded.
"Yeah, this is what it was like...and it's as hard to watch as it was back then."
Clank nodded in agreement, "Circuit has been so happy lately. It is quite painful to see her suffer from this depression-like state."
"Do you think that she'll feel better soon?" Sasha asked.
"Don't know," Ratchet said. "Last time she was depressed, it didn't end until she...she died."
"Can you please stop bringing that up? I don't want to think about Circuit dying!"
"Hey, you didn't have to witness it!" The Lombax snapped, his remark making Clank lower his head.
"Whatever," Sasha said, folding her arms and turning away. Her tone and face then softened. "I just hope that Circuit feels better soon..."
"There is no need to worry, Ms. Phyronix," Clank said. "I am sure that Circuit will start acting like herself again soon."
A cliff covered in sharp rocks, broken down shacks and buildings scattered throughout the area, a sign that read 'caution, wolf territory', an angry wolf, and a sharp blade.
A wolf crept out of its den, several of its pups watching it. The wolf charged forward, several of the sharp rocks pointing towards what it was after. It barked and growled ferociously, showing off its razor sharp teeth and soul piercing yellow eyes. It bounced at its target, but the target raised a sharp blade and slit the creature's throat. The wolf fell to the ground, blood, black covering the ground. The target raised its machete in front of it, the silver and black stained surface becoming enveloped in a violet light. And in the reflection of the silver parts was a blood covered Circuit.
"I have killed it...and I am not afraid to kill again."
'Circuit' rushed towards the wolf's den, and the last thing that was seen was the faces of the pups.
SLASH!
"NO! I do not want to...!"
Circuit shot straight up in her bed, nearly startling herself in the process. She placed a hand on her chest and let out a relieved sigh. It was just another nightmare...another painful, blood filled nightmare. This one seemed a lot more violent than all of the other ones that she had. It was like they were getting more and more intense with every nap, like that her own mind was tormenting her. But she deserved every single one of these nightmares. What she did was unforgivable, and neither her or her mind would forgive her.
The small robot let out another sigh and hung her head, but she quickly brought it back up when she saw something very gross. There was a large black stain on the bed comforter, and because she didn't have a can of oil to spill, the stain could only mean one thing: she had wet the bed. This brought everything in Circuit, her confidence, her self-esteem, everything that she liked about herself, down. In the robot race, leaking oil in the same fashion that organics urinate was considered extraordinarily shameful. Circuit, in a small fit of rage, grabbed the comforter and threw it to the other side of the bed, then she buried her face into his hands. Her life seemed to be crumbling down with every minute. First the incident with Ratchet, then the Fusion Bomb, Zeldrin, the nightmares, and now wetting the bed. She was doing bad at living for a second time. She didn't deserve the second chance...she should have just stayed dead.
Circuit kept her face in her hands and slowly began to slip away with each minute passing by. Until, eventually, she fell back to sleep. Except the place that she was dropped in was much more different. She was in the same black room that she was in when she was getting her tail and Robo-Wings installed. Strange, she never came here when she was simply sleeping. What was the meaning of this?
"You should have just stayed dead? Are you having a rough time, or are you just stupid?"
Circuit's tail twitched as she picked up a single voice coming from behind her. That voice...she knew that voice! But it was impossible...he was dead. But that voice was undeniably his. So, with high hopes, the female robot quickly turned around so she could locate the source of the voice. She jumped though when she saw a glowing blue apparition floating several inches off the ground. The body wasn't what she expected, but the eyes were. Two big blood red eyes...a small shining goatee...it was really him! It was-
"Klunk!" Circuit said with both happiness and surprise as she saw her brother floating a few feet away from her. The spirit smiled a bit and nodded, confirming that it was indeed him. She expected herself to be all weirded out and full of questions about how his spirit was here, but she guessed that the Connection was still in play. Klunk never said that the Connection went away after death. So instead of overwhelming her brother with a bunch of 'how are you here' questions, she simply asked: "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was just floating by the the spiritual spectrum when I thought that I would come and see you. I could sense a great amount of negative emotion coming from you, so I wanted to see what the problem was. I must say, I'm quite surprised about what you did."
"O-Oh, you...you saw that..." the female said, hanging her head a bit. "I know that I am horrible for doing it..."
"Ugh, I thought that by now you would have fixed your self confidence issue," Klunk said, folding his arms. "Look, Error-...Circuit, you didn't do anything wrong. You killed the wolf because you wanted to save Clank and yourself-"
"That may be, but I still killed it! I killed an innocent creature! I am a monster-" Circuit cried as she grabbed both sides of her head and saw the image of the bloody wolf. But Klunk quickly interrupted her.
"YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER!" He yelled, infuriated with his sister's blaming of herself. But he calmed down when he remembered that yelling only made situations worse. So he took a deep breath and continued, "You are not a monster, you are just a little girl who made a mistake."
"Mistake or not...my mind will not let me forget what I did. I have nightmares about it. Nightmares that will not let me wake up until it is over. They scare me..."
"That is why you have friends to comfort you in your time of need. But, you locked them out of your room, so you being scared and all alone is your fault. Your friends are trying to help you, Circuit, and you need to accept their help. Being distant isn't going to help at all. If I had the opportunity to receive help from friends or even have some friends, I would accept it in a heartbeat. I accepted your help, Circuit-"
"Yeah, and you died because of it," Circuit said with a regretful tone.
"W-Well, uhh..." Klunk stammered, caught off by the surprisingly good point. "E-Even though I died, I got to experience what it was like to be a good guy. And I must admit, it was quite nice. Still feels nice in the afterlife. The point is is that you have friends who want to help you and you should let them. You could either accept and become happy, or decline and have your nightmares comfort you. It's your choice."
Circuit pondered what Klunk said for a few moments. Open the door and let her friends in...or keep it shut and live in terror and regret. It seemed like an obvious choice for most, but it was pretty hard for her. It was true that letting her friends help her through this tough time would indeed help her and probably make her happy, but that would be like forgiving herself for killing an innocent animal. She placed her fists on her head; why did this decision have to be so hard to make? She then sighed. Klunk was right, she really did have issues...but...he was right. Ratchet, Sasha and Clank were trying to help her and she wouldn't let them, which was only making matters worse-
"Someone is coming," Klunk said, looking off into an empty distance. "I'm going to leave now. It's up to you to make your choice."
"W-Wait, will I get to see you again?" Circuit asked in a panic.
"Only if I get bored and you happen to be sleeping. But I sometimes like to hang around you. But, when you are Clank are about to do something in a...you-know-what fashion, could you please warn me? Make a do not disturb sign or something that can give me a hint at what's about to go down!"
"Heh-heh, no problem," the female said, her face turning a bit red. Then she frowned as Klunk floated away into the darkness, she didn't want to say bye to her brother so quickly, but then she remembered what he said. It was like that he had been with her ever since she had come back to life, watching over her like some sort of guardian angel. But thinking about Klunk's spirit suddenly became distant to her as her vision was drowned in white...
...
...
Circuit opened her real eyes and found herself in the same position as when she had fallen asleep. That was certainly strange; Klunk had woken her up somehow. She didn't know that he had that kind of power. But she wished that he had the power to bring the determined feeling from the dream to her, because she was feeling down again.
The little robot raised her head when she remembered what Klunk said: someone was coming. But who was it?
Knock knock
"Circuit?" Ratchet said as he entered the bedroom and went to her door. In his hand was plate with one of his salmon sandwiches that he had just made. "I thought that you might be hungry so I made you a sandwich..." He received no response. Shuffling his feet awkwardly, the Lombax placed the plate on a nearby stand. "Okay...I'll leave it here for you in case you want it later." Several silent moments went by and Ratchet's ears lowered, a look of concern coming onto his face. He looked around the room something, anything, that could do something for Circuit. He got his wish when he located Little Ratchey lying on the bed. Ratchet walked over and grabbed the stuffed animal and went back to Circuit's door, "So...Little Ratchey is pretty lonely out here all by himself. Maybe you can come out and make him feel better?"
When no answer or voices came, Ratchet sighed. At least he tried. He set Little Ratchey down on the floor, right outside of the other bedroom. That way Circuit could see it when she finally came out. The Lombax looked at the door sadly and turned around and walked towards the exit. Meanwhile, Circuit stared at the bedroom door, wondering what she should do. It was like Klunk said, the decision was up to her whether to let her friends in or not. But it seemed that she had already made up her mind, and she climbed down onto the floor, walked to the door and placed a hand on the door knob. It was time to just let it out, she thought to herself as she opened the door.
Ratchet stood there without moving a muscle as Circuit stepped out of her room. The small robot looked awful. Her eyes were barely lit and her clothes were messed up and somewhat dirty. But what she looked like wasn't what Ratchet was focusing on, it was what she was doing. Circuit, after stepping out of the room, took notice of Little Ratchey sitting on the floor and stuck her hand out, lightly running her finger along the top of its left ear. It was then that her arm fell to her side and tears began to flood her eyes and soon running down face. A look of extreme pity formed on Ratchet's face as he walked over to her.
"Hey," Ratchet said in a calm and quiet voice. He knelt down and placed his hands on Circuit's shoulders. "Hey now..."
"I...I...I did not mean to kill it!" Circuit cried out. "I did not mean to kill the wolf!" She brought both of her hands up to her eyes and attempted to wipe the many tears away, "It was an accident, I swear!"
"I don't doubt that it was an accident," the Lombax said. "I know you, Circuit. You would never hurt a living creature on purpose, let alone kill one."
The small robot seemed unconvinced as she sniffled (still no nose, though), "I...I am a bad robot."
"No you're not. You're one of the nicest robots that I've ever met. Possibly the nicest. You're just a bit shaken up from Zeldrin, that's why you're feeling this way. You didn't do anything wrong, Circuit. You're not a bad robot." Ratchet took a moment to think of himself, then he remembered something. "Actually, now that I think about it, you're a hero. If you didn't do what you did, then Clank would have been killed. You saved him." Circuit let what Ratchet said sink into her opinion of herself. That was right...she did save Clank...all on her own. If she hadn't killed the wolf, then Clank would have died. She had dedicated her first time living to protecting Clank by taking the Hexzar Virus from him, and now she killed a wolf for him. Ratchet was right, she was a hero. She hid the tiniest smile. She really was Ratchet's daughter. But of course she wasn't going to brag about it, that would just be rude. The small robot jumped and was launched out of her thoughts as Ratchet took one his gloves off and grabbed her hand. He frowned, "Your metal is freezing. Come on, you can warm up on the bed."
Ratchet kept holding Circuit's hand as he stood up and walked her to the bed (Circuit jerking back so she could grab Little Ratchey), and he thought of how long it had been since he had done this. The last time that he held Circuit's hand was over one year ago, when he was walking her back into the apartment building. After that, he had just started carrying her around instead. But holding her hand right now reminded him about how nice it was.
Ratchet picked Circuit up and placed her on the bed, then he shoved her under the blanket. She struggled under them for a moment, trying to find her way out, then she poked her head out, Little Ratchey's following. The small robot looked at Ratchet's ungloved hand, the two orange stripes standing out on the golden fur. She pulled her arm out from under the covers and grabbed Ratchet's hand, feeling the soft fur on her metal.
"Everyone's worried about you, ya' know."
Circuit looked up at Ratchet, who was actually looking a bit sad. She shifted on the bed and brought Little Ratchey closer, "O-Oh, well...I did not mean to make anyone worry. Worrying people seems to be the only thing that I do nowadays..."
"Well, to be fair, you didn't really have any control over the things that have happened to you that make people worry. You couldn't get away from the Fusion Bomb, you weren't the one who made the wolf mad, you couldn't control me when I slapped-..." Ratchet trailed off as he nearly tapped into the memory of the horrible event. He didn't need to look at Circuit to know that she had an uncomfortable expression. He suddenly stood up and walked over to the stand where he had set the plate down. Circuit guessed that he was going to ask her if she was hungry, but her heart stopped when his eye seemed to have caught something in the other room. Ratchet went into the other bedroom with a curious look on his face. The small robot sat up on the bed, worry coming onto her systems. Please do not notice it...please do not notice it! But, much to her dismay, Ratchet came out of the bedroom with the bed's blanket in his hands. He was staring at the large black stain. He looked up at Circuit, "Circuit, you...you wet the..."
"I-I know! I am so sorry! It was just that I have having a nightmare and...and...oh god!" The small robot buried her face into her hands. "I am officially a disgrace...what is Clank going to think?"
"Clank's not going to know." Circuit looked up at Ratchet, who was wrapping up the blanket. He went over to a nearby closet and dug through it, soon pulling out a blanket that looked identical to the one that Circuit had soiled. The Lombax laid the new comforter on the bed, messing it up a bit to make it look like that Circuit had been sitting under it. Then he picked up the soiled blanket and whispered to Circuit, "Come on, I need you to stand guard outside the laundry room while I wash this. No stain, no worries, right?"
Circuit looked at the Lombax with disbelief. He was going to keep her uncontrollable act of shame a secret? Most people would learn to look down on a robot who had wet themselves, but it appeared that Ratchet was much different from them. "Ratchet, I-"
Ratchet's ears twitched as the doorknob to the bedroom began turning. He quickly chucked the soiled blanket into the closet and shut it before the door opened. Sasha entered the room, "Ratchet? Are you in here? What's taking you so long-!" The Cazar's ears perked up when she saw two big violet eyes sitting on the bed. "Circuit!"
"Hello," Circuit said innocently as her mother came over.
"Circuit, sweetheart, are you alright?" Before Circuit could answer, Sasha pulled her into a hug. "I've been worried about you all day."
"I am fine, mommy. I am sorry that I worried you."
"What made you come out of your room? We've been trying all day but you wouldn't budge."
"Oh, I came out because of my br-" Circuit stopped herself. She couldn't say that Klunk, her brother, had convinced her to come out. Her parents might think that she was crazy. So she tried to fix her sentence, "I mean, daddy. M-My daddy convinced me to come out."
"Really?" Sasha looked at Ratchet, who was simply standing there with his back against the closet door. She was amazed. She knew that Ratchet was a good father, but she never expected him to pull Circuit out of her depression in a matter of minutes. Now that's some impressive parenting. The Cazar wished that she could be as strong as a parent as Ratchet.
Ratchet decided that it was about time that Circuit ate something now that she was calmed down. He grabbed the sandwich that he had made for her and brought it over. "Here ya go, Circuit."
Circuit reached up to grab it, but Sasha quickly slapped the Lombax's hand away, "Are you crazy?! Don't give her that!"
"Why not?" Ratchet asked.
"It's organic food! Since when has a robot ever liked organic food? She'll puke if she eats that-" Sasha's eyes went wide as she saw Circuit eating the sandwich that was still in Ratchet's hand. She saw the Cazar staring at her and gave a guilty look.
"Sorry, but I am really hungry..."
"I...I..wh-what...what in the..."
"Heh, that's my girl," the Lombax said smugly as he placed a hand on top of Circuit's head. Then he looked at Sasha with an 'in-your-face' look, "Score one for the Lombax."
Sasha, in a fit of defeated anger, grab Ratchet's face and pushed him off of the bed (Ratchet yelling "crap!" on his way down to the floor). Circuit shoved the rest of the sandwich into her mouth and looked over the side of the bed, asking the Lombax if he was alright, but neither Ratchet or Sasha could figure out what she was saying with all of the food in her mouth. Sasha told her to not talk with her mouthful ("you really are your father's child"). Ratchet rose from the floor with an unamused look on his face.
"I'm going to the laundry room..." he walked away but walked straight back, grabbing Circuit, "and I'm takin' this with me!"
"Alright, you do that," Sasha said, standing up and brushing herself off. This was a downside of having Ratchet stay at the Phoenix: he sheds on the bedspread. "You two have fun. I need to go put together the new search teams for the Nefarious Sweep. I need to get all of the soldiers out of the ship at some point, or else they're going to..." The Cazar trailed off and her ears suddenly shot straight upwards, Ratchet's doing the same thing. There was a loud siren sounding outside. Ratchet looked at Sasha was confusion.
"The alarm...?"
As if on cue, Clank burst into the room, his brilliant green eyes filled with panic. Tired from the long run, he grabbed onto the doorframe in order to keep himself propped up. Then he looked at his friends, "We are under attack!"
Alright, long chapter! Always so satisfying to finish.
Looks like that Sasha is now questioning her role as a parent because of Ratchet's superior parenting skills.
Oh, and uh...the Starship Phoenix is under attack...so yeah, that's happening.
Also, I know that I said that we were moving into the Clacuit chapters, but I drained all of my Clacuit writing energy into my Clacuit Valentine's Day oneshot, "Free My Chained Heart". So if y'all want some Clacuit right now, so read that oneshot. Meanwhile, my Clacuit writing energy should be restored and released within the next few chapters.
And, for those of you waiting, I PROMISE that I will update Little Brother 2 next! I just really wanted to get Chapter 20 and 21 up! But Chapter 3 of Little Brother 2 is on the way, I swear it!
Make sure to leave a review while picking up your complimentary toaster!
This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!