With the Christmas holidays fast approaching, one more Hogsmeade trip had been squeezed into the schedule. Draco and I would be going "together". The conversation went as follows:

Draco had ran up to me in the hall as I was putting decorations up for Flitwick on a Sunday morning. He was panting slightly and I had put a hold on my decorating. My cheeks warmed as I anticipated he would ask me to go with him to Hogsmeade. I tried to reduce the heat when I realized how ridiculous I was being. He was only a boy.

Draco scratched the back of his head nervously and opened his mouth a few times to say something. I quickly grew impatient.

"Are you going to ask me or not?" I said. He glared.

"Why would you assume I would ask you to Hogsmeade?" he said trying to save his dignity. I raised my eyebrows. His statement had confirmed my notions. He was going to ask me. He blushed as he realized his mistake. "Fine. But maybe I don't want to ask you now that you've made me feel a fool!"

"Are we really going to go back to acting like children? I thought we'd moved past that."

He sighed.

"Do you want to go with me?" he asked. He still held a bit of shyness. Draco Malfoy being shy? Stop the presses. I smiled a genuine smile.

"Of course, Malfoy."

He was about to come closer to me when we heard footsteps around the corner.

"Go! Someone will see." I said still smiling.

"Where will I meet you?" he asked.

"I'll find you! Just go!" I whispered in haste.

He gave me one last quick look up and down before sprinting in the opposite direction.

So I stood outside the castle pretending to check my boots while the others went on. I hadn't seen Draco come out of the castle yet so I only assumed he was buying time like I was. He came out of the oak front doors moments later with a rather bored looking Theodore Nott by his side. Nott yawned and barely looked my direction. Draco showed a small smile and we walked down to Hogsmeade together.

Draco and I did not hold hands for two reasons:

It was a bit too soft and fuzzy for the two of us and it was much too cold to be exposing any flesh.

We settled for walking near each other. Thankfully, we were far enough away from the crowd as to be spotted.

"Where do you want to go?" Draco asked.

"Somewhere without a lot of people." I sneered as I said it.

"That was a look worthy of me." he said with a smirk.

"Do not flatter me Malfoy, it will get you no deeper into my pants." I replied.

"The Hog's Head is a good place. Not many people go there." he said.

Nott remained silent.

"Alright. I never fancied The Three Broomsticks much anyways."

Once there, Nott changed directions. His eyes had caught sight of Eleanore Roquefort, a rather attractive Hufflepuff girl, and made a bee-line for her without saying a word. Draco neither saw nor cared. Upon entering the Hog's Head, he put his hand on my back. It was a light touch but the gesture was enough by itself.

I hid my smile by turning the other way. A part of me was disgusted from the silly little girl I had become. But I didn't mind too much. My mind momentarily wandered to where Seamus was at the moment. He knew of my arrangements with Draco and wanted to make plans with Dean. Knowing Dean would spend most of his time with Ginny, I suspected Seamus to be with Arthur Rigby, a sixth year Gryffindor boy. They weren't too close but Arthur was always there for a good laugh. (a required trait for Seamus)

"Two butterbeers." said Malfoy. He put the money on the counter and didn't wait for the bartender to give us our drinks. He escorted me to a table before picking them up.

The bartender seemed aged, he had silver hair and familiarly blue eyes. Sort of close to my shade of blue. He stood rather tall and was very thin. I could not place who he reminded me of. He had not looked at Draco and I when we walked in.

I heard the bottles being placed on the counter and stood up to get them. I picked up the dirty bottles and looked up at the bartender momentarily. I did a double-take when I realized how hard he was staring at me. I was taken aback for a moment. I gave him a hard stare back.

"Can I help you?" I asked. I tried not to sound too rude. Draco had slowly walked towards me upon seeing the look on my face.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Bit of a personal question isn't it? Seeing as you can't trust anyone anymore nowadays."

The bartender glared for a moment but replaced it with his hardened stare. I was beginning to feel uneasy.

"Please. I only want your name."

"I think the drinks are quite enough." said Draco. He lightly touched my arm. "We will take these elsewhere."

The man gave a harsh look at Draco and the position of his hand on my arm. When his eyes turned back to me, they were interested again.

"My name is…Jane. Jane Patchett." I said.

"That is your real name?"

"Alright, that's enough." said Draco. Everyone in the bar, the seven people that there were, had become suddenly interested in our conversation. "There's no need to question her. She gave you her name. I have paid you and therefore, we have a right to leave."

I followed Draco's example and headed for the door. I wanted to get out of the bar as much as he did.

"It's Dumbledore…isn't it?" the bartender called after me. I stopped in my tracks. Draco had already opened the door. "Dumbledore is your name."

"And if it is?" I replied.

"Sa-" began Draco. I promptly shushed him.

"I only wanted to know. I am but a simple bartender."

"Why should I believe you?" I replied.

"Why should you not?"

It was quiet for a moment. The dirty bottles had marked my skin with dirt. My white blonde hair, now three inches longer, picked up slightly from the wind coming from the open door.

"Tell me your first name." he asked. He seemed to be almost pleading now.

"Sawyer." I replied. The bartender's face did not change.

"Sawyer Dumbledore?"

"Yes."

He looked from me to Draco. He gave Draco a hard glare and Draco returned the favor.

He opened his mouth again but Draco pulled me out of the bar very flustered.

"Who does he think he is? How dare he interrogate you like that? That dirty old prick."

"He didn't interrogate me."

"None the less!" Draco replied. "He was still acting very queer. I would prefer you not to go back there anymore."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked.

"What would you say if I said both?"

"Then I would stroll right back in and strike up more conversation on the origin of my name."

"I can never win with you." he said.

"No you can't. I suggest you get used to it."

We went somewhere in the woods and sat on a rock. Draco started a fire by magic and I sat there watching him. We sat together in silence and sipped our drinks. My mind was milling over what had just happened. Why did he want so badly to know my name? It wasn't the first time I'd ever been in there. I had been in there last year when the D.A. started. I heard Hermione muttering to Dean and I became very interested. She seemed reluctant to tell me anything but I wasn't going to go the whole year without learning a decent bit of real magic. Unlike the others, I didn't give two shits about the novel he told about the night Cedric died. Harry told me the story and I believed him. End of story.

The more I thought of it, there were quite a few people in the pub that day, he might not have seen me.

Why do I care? He's just some bartender.

But he was so familiar.

If only I could place him.

"Sawyer!" yelled Draco. He'd probably been trying to get my attention.

"What?"

"I've been trying to talk to you!"

"Don't get your knickers in a knot. I'm talking to you now."

"Did you know that man?" he asked. He'd been thinking about it too.

"No. Never seen him before. But something about him was familiar."

"You must know him. Why else would he be so interested?"

"I don't know, Draco. I don't know."

It was quiet for a while. The only sound was the crackle of the fire. I waited for Draco to speak. After a minute, I took initiative.

"Talk to me." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't want 'us' to just be the two of us running around and snogging."

He smiled.

"And what's wrong with that?" he leaned in a bit closer and I didn't move.

"Just talk to me. Tell me about…I don't know…your childhood or something."

"My childhood?" he gave me a skeptical look.

"It doesn't have to be that. Anything." I replied.

His face scrunched up and I could tell something made him uneasy. It didn't take a genius to know he didn't have a much more pleasant childhood than I did.

"I don't want to talk about it." he said with a flat-line voice.

"Fine then, something else."

It was quiet for a while and Draco might've still been mulling over the childhood thing. He wasn't really paying attention.

"Family?"

"No!" I lit a small fuse. I would've snapped at him if I didn't know his family life sucked. I remembered that only after I asked.

"Alright then, favourite colour! Something Draco! I barely know anything about you!"

"Maybe it's better that way!" he snapped.

"Don't snap at me!"

I stood up.

"I didn't-" he started.

"No! I know you're life isn't any more pleasant than mine but I thought maybe you could share! Maybe we could find some common ground other than the fact that we're attracted to each other!"

"You said no commitment!" he said.

"So that means I can't know anything about your personal life? Is that it?"

"No! Did you hear me say that?" the colour was flooding his face. For some reason I was irrationally angry.

"I may have said 'no commitment' but if that meant you had free reign to only want me physically I may have said the wrong things!"

He yelled in frustration.

"That isn't what I meant at all!" he yelled. He reached for me arm but I pulled it back.

"No! I'm leaving."

"Sawyer! Stop whining and come back here!"

I stormed away from the spot fuming. How dare he? The git can't even talk to me! What kind of a relationship can I have if I don't know anything about him?

Maybe I'm acting too quickly. We've only been "together" for a short amount of time.

But still! He can't even tell me something about his life! I wasn't asking for his diary!

I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going and I slammed into someone. I made a grunting noise and continued. I didn't even see who I bumped into.

Harry Potter.

Sawyer had just ran into me and almost knocked me down. I supposed she must've been really infuriated to have hit me that hard.

Moments later I saw a very flustered Malfoy storm out of a patch of bushes that led to the woods. He went the opposite direction. I went down the path he came out of out of curiosity. There was a small spot where a fire had just been and two unfinished butterbeers. It didn't take a genius to see what had gone on. Sawyer and Malfoy were on a date but got in a fight. And a big one from the likes of it. I was immediately shocked by the fact that they were dating. I had my suspicions but didn't think it would actually happen. Hermione probably wouldn't be surprised at all.

The Hogsmeade trip was coming to a close and all of the students were making their way back to the castle. It was growing late in the afternoon and in a few hours I would be going to Dumbledore's office for another lesson. I stayed in the common room with Hermione and we did our homework. Ron was off with Lavender somewhere else. I was trying hard to concentrate but Ginny was sitting by the window with Dean. Every once in a while Hermione would snap her fingers and bring me back to Earth.

Sawyer was doing her homework in another chair looking as frustrated as ever. She didn't seem to have blown off any steam from before. Seamus was struggling with his work because he was trying to get her to talk about it. She only shook her head. He eventually gave up asking. I already knew what was wrong. She said something I couldn't hear and gathered her things. Seamus watched her head up the stairs with a suspicious expression. Two second years were in her way and she muttered something to them. The girl cocked her eyebrow and said "Make me."

A few people waited to see what would happen. Sawyer glared at the girls and they slowly backed away. She grabbed the second year's collar and threw her out of her way. The girl almost fell to the ground. Sawyer gave her one last seething stare and headed up the stairs. Seamus showed no sympathy for her either.

"Didn't you see she was upset?" said Seamus. The entire Common Room was silent.

The girl's eyes welled up and she ran out of the Common Room in a very attention seeking sort of way. Her friend ran after her. Hermione turned to me.

"I feel sorry for her." she said.

"I don't. Even if it wasn't Sawyer she was talking to, she was still rude." I replied.

"I suppose…You'd better head to Dumbledore's office."

"You're right. See you in a few." I said as I stood.

I made my way to Dumbledore's Office and up the stone steps. He sat behind his desk looking at me through his half-moon spectacles.

"Ah, Harry. We meet again."

"Good evening Professor." I said.

"I sense something is troubling you Harry."

"Well, sort of…"

"You know that you can always confide in me."

I paused thinking of the right words.

"Well, there's a student I've been paying attention to but she's being really obnoxious about every time I try to speak to her or if something small happens. "

"I assume you're talking about Sawyer."

"Yes."

Dumbledore smiled.

"Sawyer is not a complicated soul if you know some of her past. If you really want to understand her, you must see her the same way we see Riddle. Know the past to know the person. You've been a classmate of Sawyer's for six years of her life. That is a significant amount of time for a sixteen year old."

He stood up and pondered something.

"I wonder if we could take a bit of time out of our usual schedule. I am aware of the urgency with which we are addressing young Tom Riddle, but I see no reason that Sawyer should have one other person understand her. She might like adding to her total of four people."

I grew a bit tense when Dumbledore said only four people really understand her. That would be himself, Fleur, Seamus, and…Malfoy?

"Sir, who is the last person?" I asked.

"But you already know." he said with a smile.

"Do you mean…Draco Malfoy, sir?"

"Yes, I do. But don't tell Sawyer that. She is unaware that I know of their relationship."

He chuckled to himself.

"Oh to be young and think yourself sly. I am a bit more attentive than she may think."

He walked over to the pensieve and pulled a silvery strand from his temple.

"Harry, if you would be so kind."

I stepped over to the pensieve and lowered my face into it. The scene swirled around me and I found myself standing in a hallway at Hogwarts. Dumbledore was standing in front of a very frustrated fourteen year old Sawyer.

"Why does it have to be ME? Why does it ALWAYS have to be ME?" she yelled.

"Sawyer, don't be angry." said Dumbledore.

"How can I not be angry?" she said. Tears were forming in her eyes. "You saw her uncle Albus! She's just like me!"

"I know."

"Then why does she have a family and I don't?"

"I always thought I was part of your family."

"You know what I mean. She has parents! I don't! Why don't I have a mother and she does?"

"Miss Delacour is just one of the lucky ones. Veela are unpredictable. Most have no motherly instinct. I would think that Mrs. Delacour is just different. You shouldn't be too upset over it."

"How can I not be? It's not fair!"

"Is this really the only problem Sawyer? I'm sensing something else."

Sawyer was quiet.

"You've mentioned every contestant…except for Mr. Potter."

Sawyer snorted.

Ouch.

"And why should I mention him?"

"You're obviously envious. I understand."

"Envious? ENVIOUS?" she was seething. Dumbledore only gave her a pleasant smile.

I was sure she would go off on him but she gained control of herself and sat back down.

"Fine. I envy him." she said. I was shocked. Sawyer envied ME?

"And why is that?" asked Dumbledore. She glared.

"Why else? Everyone already loves him. This competition will only give him more brownie points."

"You're jealous of the mutual respect and love of Harry Potter but not the fame?"

"No. Not the fame. I just…" she stood up and walked away. I almost thought she was going to leave.

Dumbledore waited.

"All I want…is to be loved. But I push everyone away."

"I can think of another who does the same thing."

He looked over at the crest of Salazar Slytherin. No doubt he had Malfoy in mind.

The scene went away.

"I understand her actions are often rash." said Dumbledore. "But after so much anguish and so much pain, she has become calloused to anyone and everyone. She has dealt with things a girl her age ought never to know. I know you are still processing what you have seen but we need to move on. I only ask that you have a little more patience with her. She feels loneliness that someone as loved and admired as yourself can often have difficulty understanding. Last year, when no one believed you, is what she faces every day. Your pain is of loss, her pain is of never having at all. You two are quite similar but she'll never allow herself to see it that way."

I was silent through his speech. I dealt with my pain much differently than she. She has set herself up for misery but only because she knows of nothing else. I held a greater respect for Seamus having dealt with her anger and sadness for all these years. I would have become fed up with it eons earlier than him.

"And now, on with our lesson. I will need you to put my niece from your mind for now."

But how could I? I remembered the scene in Hogsmeade. The first real relationship since Seamus might already be destroyed.

I made a mental note to not care so much.