Finally got round to finishing this chapter after doctor's appointments and procrastination got in the way. Usual warnings for typos, silliness etc. Also I forgot to mention last time about the Shifty-bashing that sort of sneaked its way in there without my permission :3 I've been trying to be nice to him and he still comes out of my pen in quite a bad light. And I'm not showing any kind of bias there ;) Ah well. Not intentional.

Enjoy the chapter. Title is terrible. I own nothing.

~21~
In which Joey lets someone else drive the Jag

This had to be going down as one of the most horrible nights Joey had ever experienced- and he'd had some rough times in the past. He was still shaking with anger, Yizzel's mate's threat hanging over him. This isn't finished, he had said, and Joey knew full well that it wasn't. They'd be back, and soon- they wouldn't let him have any peace until they'd gotten the money. And then the next time they wanted something. And the next time after that. He was going to have to find a more permanent solution, instead of merely paying them off, or this would continue forever. Blackmail usually did the trick- got them off his back for a while, but what could he blackmail them with? They'd been right- he had nothing on them.

Martina posed another problem. He remembered the last time she'd come face to face with the Yizzel gang- she'd been furious enough with him to be talking about breaking it off, and though he'd calmed her down eventually, she'd made him promise there'd never be a repeat of the incident. She hadn't shown any anger as yet this time- but nor had she shown any emotion whatsoever, and that, somehow, was far, far worse. It wasn't like her to have nothing to say.

She sat still and silently in the passenger seat of the Jag, staring down at her lap and fiddling with a white piece of paper in her hands. Jack, Adrian and Shifty were all hyper after the night's excitement, rowdily relating the incident to each other despite having all been there, and arguing over details such as who was where when who did what, but even their constant racket didn't appear to penetrate the DHSS lady's consciousness.

Joey wondered momentarily if she was just biding her time, waiting until they were alone to unleash the full force of her rage, but every time he glanced over at her, she appeared completely enveloped in thought, an expression on her face which he had not yet categorised- had never seen before. Perhaps he'd finally succeeded in scarring her for life. Perhaps Yizzel and his mate had been the final straw, and she'd been damaged irreparably, fiery, sarcastic spirit crushed by her ordeal. The thought made Joey shudder and shut his eyes- then frantically swerve as he realised the Jag had drifted over to the wrong side of the road.

He pulled up outside Martina's apartment building with a feeling of dread. He didn't know exactly what was going to happen when he talked to her, but he could tell it wasn't going to be pleasant.

'Adrian,' he said, craning his neck around to get a look at the back seat, 'take the car back. I'll meet you at home later- I need to talk to Martina.'

The three of them immediately shut up, staring gormlessly at Joey.

'T-take…the car back?' Adrian looked at the car keys his brother had pressed into his hand as if he'd just been entrusted with the crown jewels. 'You want me to…actually drive your Jaguar? Why me?'

'Yeah,' Jack piped up, 'I'm older. Why don't I get to take the Jag back?'

Joey rolled his eyes. 'Because of the three of you, Adrian is the best driver, the most responsible, and,' he shot a meaningful look at Shifty, 'the least likely to smash it up. It's my car, I say Adrian's drivin', and that's me final word, okay?'

Jack made a face like a bulldog. Adrian just went on staring at the keys, wonder on his face at being entrusted with something so precious.

'That's settled, then, is it?' Joey asked. Jack went on fuming and Adrian continued to daydream. The eldest Boswell sighed.

'Good to know you're all so eager to pay attention to me,' he muttered, climbing out the car and leaving them to it. Martina followed suit, and he took hold of her arm, steering her a fair distance away from the Jaguar, trying not to look as it drove off in case he had a panic attack at the thought of his brothers in charge of his most beloved possession.

Now what did he do? What did he say to her? There was nothing he could utter that could erase this evening, and Joey felt a heavy, sinking sensation of having let her down, of having done the wrong thing. What had he been thinking, getting involved with her? There had always been risks, always been the potential of something going drastically wrong and one or both of them getting hurt, but Joey had been selfish enough to think that he could, on his own, manage to abolish all those risks and make it work, or that perhaps fortune would be on his side and they'd just be lucky enough never to have anything go wrong. If he were truly responsible he'd stop all this now. He'd finish it, he'd release her, and then neither Yizzel's mate nor any other Boswell enemies lurking in the woodwork could ever hurt her, and as a bonus she wouldn't have to worry about the ethical implications of being with someone who undermined everything she stood for in a professional capacity, who made her job as difficult as could be. It would all be so much easier for her. She'd meet someone better for her eventually, more suited.

It would be so simple to just do that, such a good decision, had he not loved her.

But he did. He loved her, so help him, and the thought of seeing her go off, live her life, do things without him hurt so badly that his internal organs twisted up. He couldn't just do that- it may have been the right thing, but he was only human, and he wanted her dreadfully. And it didn't matter how many good reasons there were for ending their relationship, so long as he still wanted her, still loved her, he'd cling on. He'd always been a fool like that. He'd lost one woman he loved when Roxy left him, and once he'd let her go that was it. No matter how many times they'd tried to repair their relationship after that, it was no use- it had been done already; it was irreparable.

He didn't want that to happen with Martina.

But he didn't want her to keep getting hurt either.

He didn't know what on earth he was going to do.

'I didn't mean for all that to happen,' he said at last. 'I really didn't.'

'I know,' she replied expressionlessly, gazing in his direction but not directly at him.

She really had been shaken up, Joey thought, and seeing her in this state just made him want to hold her, not let go until everything had somehow magically been fixed. He wanted more than anything to fix this, to make things go back to how they were, but a sad realisation was growing inside him that when they'd left Yizzel's mate's latest hideout, something between them had suddenly changed. It wasn't that he didn't care any less for her- or she him, he thought- he hoped. It was just that they'd reached an enormous stumbling block, and until it was removed they could never move beyond this point. Unless they both knew for certain that Martina would be safe, and that they could make this work in all circumstances, it never would again.

'I really am sorry,' he tried again, weakly, 'and I-'

She put a hand out to stop him. 'You've said that.'

'And do you…forgive me?'

'What for? It wasn't your fault.'

'Yeah, but…' Joey wrung his hands, 'if I had never gotten in with that lot in the first place then they never would have come after you, so in a way it is, really.'

'Hmm, I suppose.' She exhaled, and her shoulders heaved. 'But I knew what I signed up for. I knew from the beginning you were a bad lot.'

'A bad lot who cares about you.'

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, even though logically he knew he should have. The subtext of what she was saying was that she didn't trust him, had known all along not to. And he knew he'd done nothing to deserve her trust, but he still had to try and get it somehow.

'And I do,' he said, 'I do care about you, angel. If I could undo…'

'Joey, I know.' She folded her arms. 'You don't have ter keep apologisin' and repeatin' yerself.'

Joey fell back on the only other thing he could think of to say. 'Are you sure you're all right?'

'I'd be lyin' if I said I'd had worse- but I think I'll live.' She nodded at him, turned and headed for the door to her building.

'I'll walk up with you,' Joey said hastily, falling into step with her.

They said nothing. Martina wrestled with the lock on the front door, and neither of them said a word. They ascended the stairs and still neither of them spoke.

It was as she was fiddling with the key to her flat that Joey tried once again, getting a bit on the desperate side by now.

'Do you need me to stay with you?' he offered, 'just in case you were still worried about the-'

'I can take care of meself, you know!' she snapped, jamming the key so viciously into the door that it took her several attempts to properly turn it. She shoved her door open as though it had personally offended her, stepped into the doorway and then rounded on him. 'I've always managed perfectly well- that is, before you came along and complicated everything!'

Joey recoiled, stung. 'You are angry about this.'

'I'm not angry,' she said, though her voice betrayed her, 'I just-I just want some space. I want to be on my own for the time being.'

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?'

'Why does everything 'ave ter revolve around you? It's not about how many times you think you have to apologise! In case you didn't notice, I've 'ad rather a rough night- and I want to be left alone for a while!'

'Of course,' Joey said quietly. 'I understand, sweetheart.'

There was a pause. Joey made no move to leave, and Martina made none to shut the door. They stared through each other for a few moments, both deep in thought.

'Do you regret this?' Joey suddenly burst out. 'Do you regret being with me?'

He hadn't intended to ask that. He hadn't wanted to either- he was too fearful of her response.

'I-' Martina began, 'I don't know.'

Joey's heart sank right down through all seven floors of the building. If she didn't regret it, she wouldn't have hesitated to say no.

'I see,' he said.

'Go home, Joey,' said Martina, 'I'll phone you tomorrow.' And with that she shut the door, and Joey was left on his own in the empty hallway, with a long walk home ahead of him and a pain in his chest.

'Psst. Joey. Joey. Are you awake?'

Awake? Joey hadn't even gone to sleep. It had taken him nearly an hour to walk home last night- in his preoccupied state he forgot the way and got lost four times, and just to make a terrible cliché of a terrible night even worse, it had started raining too, and by the time he did get home everyone else was already in bed. He'd realised when he got to the kitchen that he was starving, not having had anything to eat since lunchtime, but also in no mood to prepare himself anything, so, hungry and depressed he'd dragged himself up the stairs to bed, and spent the night lying awake trying to take his mind off the fact that he was hungry and depressed.

Joey was sorely tempted to ignore Adrian, to pretend to be asleep for hours and hours and days and days, but he couldn't do that- not when he had a family that relied so heavily on him.

'Just a bit,' he muttered.

'I saw you come in,' Adrian whispered. 'What happened?'

'She…' Joey only got as far as the first word before he all but broke down. He shut his gob, grateful that he was facing away from Adrian's bed and his brother couldn't see his face.

'Did she bust up with you?'

'I don't know,' he said. 'I don't think so- but we're not all right. D'you know what I'm sayin'?'

'Carmen and I were never all right to begin with,' said Adrian, 'but I think I understand what you mean.' Joey heard the springs squeak as Adrian shifted himself into a sitting position.

'But you can't really blame her for being upset, can you? She did get abducted by gangsters last night- that's enough to put anyone off. At least she's goin' off you for that, not because you're no good at it, like me…with Carmen…'

There he went again. Somehow, whenever Joey wanted to talk about his feelings to one of his siblings, he always ended up listening to their miseries instead. And all this talk about 'going off' him hadn't exactly comforted him either.

'Thanks, son,' Joey muttered through his teeth. 'You're a real help, you know that?'

He shut his eyes again, but it was no good- it was light now, and even if it had been, he and sleep were on separate pages at the moment. He sat up reluctantly, rubbing his eyes even though he hadn't shut them and glancing round the room. Jack was still snoring his head off, as usual, but the other bed was empty.

'Adrian- where's Billy?'

Adrian blinked. 'I don't know. He wasn't here when we got back.'

'Probably sulkin' somewhere because we didn't take him along yesterday,' Joey yawned. 'He'll be back as soon as he smells the breakfast.'

'I'm movin' to Julie's!' The front door was flung open dramatically and Billy stomped through the parlour, giving the family dirty looks, and up the stairs. The four Boswells on the sofa ignored him.

Joey stole a glance at Aveline, who'd been hoarding the phone for a good three quarters of an hour at least. She was crossing her legs and fluttering her lashes as she talked, regardless of the fact that a) she was on the phone and thus such flirtation would not be noticed and b) she was talking to her husband anyway. The mainstay of her conversation seemed to follow a looped pattern of 'I miss you too, Oswald…yes it is, Oswald…I'm comin' home today, Oswald…you'll like how I've done me hair today, Oswald…'

Well, at least she was happy again, anyway. One down, Billy to go, and then he could devote all his time and energy to his own problem. He tried not to think about the fact that every minute Aveline spent nattering was a minute Martina might be trying to call and not be able to get through. His mobile sat on the coffee table in front of him, just in case she tried that instead, but it remained silent, and he dared not pick it up and phone her in case Nellie overheard him from the kitchen. The last thing he needed now was for his Mam to be asking questions when everything was going so wrong.

Jack pulled a magazine out from the side of the sofa and began flicking through it. The rustling paper noise aggravated the headache building in Joey's temples.

'I mean it! I'm movin'!' Billy was back, dragging an overstuffed bag of clothes behind him.

'Good luck, son, good to know you've patched things up with 'er,' Jack said without looking up.

Billy looked incensed. 'I'm not goin' 'cause o' Julie! I'm goin' 'cause of all you lot! You never listen to a word I say in this house, you never tell me anythin'- I feel retardant!'

'You mean redundant, Billy,' Joey corrected.

'Yeah. That an' all. Well, this is the end. Good-bye!' and with that he stomped out of the house, making sure to slam the door.

'Yeah, well, now that little drama's been resolved I'd better be off,' said Jack, getting to his feet. 'I've bought this amazin' painting- looks genuine! It's brilliant what these bastards can do. Reckon I'll fetch a good sum for it.' He turned to Adrian. 'Are you comin', or do you have more little verses to write?'

'Actually, today I'm in a painting mood myself,' said Adrian. 'I thought I might go and sketch that fountain near the bank.'

'Suit yourself,' Jack groaned, and then hesitated, his eyes lighting up. 'Are your paintings any good?'

'Well,' Adrian smiled coyly, 'I like to think I've captured something…'

'Nah, nah, I mean do they look like the things they're meant to?'

'Well, yes. As a matter of fact they do.' Adrian wasn't normally one to boast, but Joey could tell he was enjoying this. It wasn't every day someone in the family seemed to take genuine interest in his work. Joey could also tell, however, what was coming next.

'D'you think you could draw things that looked….like other paintings?'

Oh, yes. Joey had seen that coming. Adrian still looked a tad perplexed.

'Why would I want to draw things that looked like other paintings? I want to develop me own style!'

'Yeah, but could you do it?'

'Well, I suppose so, but…'

'Great!' Jack did a happy little jump, swinging his arms, before bouncing onto the sofa beside his brother. 'With your creative skills and my negotiatin' skills, we could go into business together, Adrian! Think about it- you could make copies of valuable paintings and I could flog 'em!' Jack's eyes crinkled as he smiled excitedly. 'We'll be rich!'

Adrian stared at his brother with jaw-dropping horror. 'Are you suggesting we make and sell counterfeit art?'

'Yeah!' Jack rubbed his hands in gleeful anticipation. 'Isn't it great?'

'No, it's not!' Adrian was outraged. 'Are you, my own brother, seriously suggesting that I should cheapen my ambition by using it to deceive people?'

'Yeah!'

'I don't believe you! Don't you have a shred of decency? I have an honest, noble dream, and you want to exploit it for profit! My self-esteem is 'angin' by a thread, I tell you! 'Angin' by a thread!'

'Oh, shut up about yer threads!' Jack cried. 'You've got more threads to hang from than a marionette!'

'Don't you two realise I am on the phone?' Aveline demanded in a tremendously posh voice.

'You've been on that phone for an hour!' Adrian turned on her, 'oh, Heaven forbid anyone else wanted to use it! Haven't you got a home to go to? Go and use Oswald's phone, and then you won't have to hear us!'

And a squabble erupted between the three of them. Joey put his head in his hands.

'I'm movin' back home!' a fourth voice joined in the fray, and Jack, Adrian and Aveline stopped arguing as Billy stormed back into the house, his bag open and trailing clothes all over the floor.

'That didn't last long,' commented Jack.

'Yeah, well you try livin' with Julie! She's so demanding! She nags at me constantly- if I didn't have an actual baby daughter in that 'ouse I'd blow it up with 'er in it!' he was lugging his bag back up the stairs when Joey's mobile exploded into life.

Joey was off the sofa like a shot, snatching it up and running outside to answer it on his own.

'Hello, yes?' he said hopefully.

'I said I'd phone, didn't I?' came a familiar voice, and Joey was both relieved and anxious to hear it.

'You did, yeah.' There was an awkward pause. 'Great.'

Another awkward pause. 'How are you?' Joey asked.

'Oh, fine,' Martina replied. 'How are things your end?'

'Well, you know. The usual. Family crises, rows…' he laid out a little bait to see if she'd take it, '…counterfeit art…'

'Oh. That's good then.'

Joey shook his head sadly. It was as sure a sign as any that things weren't going well between them if she wasn't even going to take a perfectly good piece of ammunition like that and turn it into a jab about the Boswells defrauding the Social Security.

He didn't know what to say after that. 'How…how are you feelin', then?'

'You've already asked how I am.'

'Yeah, but, er…I forgot what you said.'

'The answer was 'fine'.'

'Oh. Right, then.'

This was dreadful. Just one day ago he'd had no end of things to say to her- they'd been at the point where they'd have been on the phone 'til gone midnight and rung off only when they realised just how late it was. Now the best Joey could come up with was 'how are you?'- and he'd used that one up twice. How could the dynamic between them change so quickly? He had to settle this up. He just had to.

'Look, I really need to see you,' he said, knowing as he did how pathetic and whiny he sounded. 'I need to see you in person- to talk to you.'

Silence on the other end, and he was worried she might have hung up, except for the fact that he hadn't heard a dial tone. How long did it take to say yes or no?

'Are you at work?' he pressed. ' 'Cause I can be down the DHSS in five minutes…'

'No, I'm- I'm not at work.'

Joey frowned. 'Why not?'

'I took the day off- after last night and all…'

'And all the times I asked you to skive off work, and you never did…' he was hoping to tease out a laugh, but he didn't get one. 'Where are you, then? At home?'

'No.'

Very informative. She wasn't making this easy.

'Sweetheart, please…'

'I can't see you today, Joey. I've got somethin' I have to do. Can you come down tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow- yeah- course,' he could only get a disjointed sentence in, blood rushing about his temples so fast if it'd been Shifty it would have gone through three walls by now. She was letting him see her again- so she hadn't finished with him after all. Then again, she might want to tell him it was over- and why wait til tomorrow? What did she have to do that was so important she was willing to put this discussion off? He wanted to ask her all this, but found he couldn't quite shape a substantial question.

'Well, then,' he said. 'See you tomorrow.'

'Yeah, see yer. Oh, and Joey?'

Joey stayed his phone, which he'd been about to bring away from his ear. 'Yes, sweetheart?'

'I…I really do…' he heard her swallow, and the phrase suddenly changed direction. 'I, er, I found somethin'.'

Joey shut his eyes. She couldn't bring herself to tell him she loved him anymore. 'What did you find?'

'I'll show you tomorrow.'

'Oh. Okay.' He hadn't a clue what that was about. He'd have to wait 'til tomorrow, he supposed. Before then, he had plenty to settle up himself. Before he saw Martina again, he was determined he would have put this Yizzel business behind him for good- him, the family and her- and he was going to make her see, beyond even a shadow of a doubt, that she could trust him wholeheartedly. When Joey first went down to the DHSS to declare his intentions, he knew even then that it would be reasonable to expect a no- that he didn't deserve her. This time he was going to make sure he bloody well did.

Oh, dear. Angsty angst. This was a dismal chapter, so I hope the Billy stuff lightened the mood somewhat.

The next chapter overlaps a bit with this one, going over a few of the same events but from Martina's POV, as well as shedding some more light on why she's being so mysterious and evasive and what she's found.