VOLUMEN XXI
Fraterna caritas est dulcis.
Having been the one to initiate the divorce, Pater was required to return Mater's dowry, which included the villa. However, Mater insisted that we stay in Rome until after my baby was born, saying that she wanted to be able to find someone who could help me if I started having trouble, so she rented an insula for a few months. I didn't mind. It was wonderful to be so near my brothers, and even though our host had been kind, it was also nice to have a place of our own.
The tranquility of our new lifestyle was interrupted one day when Numerius pounded on our door. He was breathless, and his face was drenched in sweat. Despite the heat of the day, he was trembling.
"What is it?!" Mater asked fearfully.
"I can't say it in front of Iovita," he answered. "I don't want her to…"
"Tell me!" I retorted.
"It's Publius," my brother sighed.
Understanding all too well what he was implying, I immediately sank into the cushions on the lectus, readjusting my weight to try to ease the discomfort I had felt in my back most of the day. Mater took my hand.
"No need to assume the worst, dear." Her tone of voice suggested that she was unsure of her own words.
Numerius told us that Publius had been meeting with other heretics, but although Tiberius was no longer a spy, the army was finding other ways to capture traitors. As Publius began addressing the others of his group, several soldiers had burst through the doors of the room where they had gathered.
"What's going on here?!" one demanded brusquely. "What is this music we heard?!"
"Is it illegal to play music at a dinner party?" Publius had responded as calmly as he could. "My apologies if we were too loud. Can we offer you some food?"
"You're averting your eyes," the soldier remarked. "Face me when you speak!"
Although the man's eyes were colder than the bitterest winter rain, Publius obeyed.
"That song sounded like one the traitors use to worship their god!"
My brother nonchalantly asked, "How would you know, sir?"
The other heretics seemed to draw strength from his courage. They took each other's hands to keep them from quavering, sharing smiles of reassurance.
"How we recognize the song does not concern you!" retorted the soldier. "If you must know, we heard it the last time we arrested a group of traitors!"
"I assure you that there are none here," Publius answered, lifting a glass of unfermented wine from the table. "Will you drink with me to the emperor's health and the prosperity of his reign? Long may he live!"
Taking a sip, he offered the wine to the man interrogating him, who finished the glass in a single gulp.
"Before we entered the room," a second soldier began, "we overheard you speaking to the others. What were you saying?"
"Simply that we ought to pray for our emperor," my brother replied. "We are citizens of Rome who obey its laws, respecting those in authority over us and committing no crimes."
The first man simpered. "Even if you were heretics, you would be allowed to practice your religion, as long as you also made sure to make offerings to the gods of Rome as well. Since you've made it clear that you're not traitors, I'm sure none of you will object to throwing the slightest amount of incense into the fire at the nearest altar."
Publius kept silent, neither confirming nor denying the suggestion. The other heretics watched with bated breath. Their very lives rested on the next few moments.
"There isn't a problem, is there?" the soldier asked.
Rather than a statement that could be ignored, this was a question that required an answer. The response must be made quickly.
Turning his back to the soldiers, Publius addressed the others in his group. "My friends, I must beg your forgiveness. It was wrong of me to deceive you, for now I see that I have placed you all in danger. When I invited you to my dinner party, I should not have told the musicians to play a melody that I knew was associated with heresy. Never before had they heard the song, and now my ruse has caused them to be falsely accused of treason, just as my speech has unjustly cast suspicion on all of you. I should never have spoken of my monotheistic views while my friends were present."
The heretics were silent, unsure of how to respond to what they were hearing.
"Don't try to deny it in an attempt to speak up for me," my brother continued. "I was wrong to invite you all here simply to have a captive audience as I spoke of this heresy. I know all of you are innocent of treason, and I ought not to have risked your lives this way. It was selfish of me, and once again, I entreat your forgiveness."
Publius immediately felt his shoulders seized roughly as shackles tightened around his wrists. However, he refused to allow the soldiers to see the way his jaw trembled.
"You'd better be willing to burn incense, heretic!" one of them warned. "Are you?"
Taking a deep breath as he stared at the floor, my brother shook his head. With that, he was dragged away as the other heretics were advised to leave immediately and be more careful who they visited in the future.
"Does he not realize all I've been through to save him?!" I demanded when Numerius had concluded his story. "If he gets himself killed, then everything I've done to save him from life as a gladiator is in vain!"
"No one's getting killed," Numerius assured me. "Now please let go of my arm. If your grip gets any tighter, I'll have to have the bone put back into place."
Realizing that my fingernails had accidentally left marks, I released him.
"Where is he now?!" Mater asked.
Numerius sighed. "As far as I know, Publius is in jail, awaiting his trial."
"When is it?! Will we be informed?!"
"I've told you all I know. I'll make sure to bring you information as I hear it."
Mater gripped his shoulder. "You're a good son."
Taking my hand, Numerius assured me that all would be well for Publius. When my only reply was a sharp gasp, he immediately pulled his hand away before I could clasp it.
"Get the midwife!" Mater exclaimed. "Your sister's time has come!"
"She should stay with my former masters," my brother remarked. "My former domina is the finest midwife in the empire."
They helped me to the home of our former hosts, and I was taken to the guestroom where I had stayed when I was recovering from the wound I had received in the arena.
"I'll see to our brother," Numerius promised just before he left. "You just take care of my nephew."
Mater dabbed my brow with a damp cloth, stroking my hand as she told me about the joys of a baby's laughter the first time it touched a small animal, such as a puppy or a kitten, and the content sounds of a sleeping baby as it nestled against its mother's shoulder. After many fervent prayers to Carmenta, Deverra, and Candelifera, the most difficult battle I had ever fought finally ended with a shrill wail.
"He's a little confused," my hostess remarked. "He came a bit early, and his feet were nearly the first part of him to make an entrance." She placed the newborn in my arms. "Other than being disoriented, he's fine. Your son is strong and healthy, a fighter like his mother."
As I held my son for the first time, I could hardly believe that there had ever been a time when I hadn't wanted him. He was perfect. I could think of nothing more precious. Why had the gods entrusted such a gift into my care?
Mater beamed. "Isn't he beautiful?!"
Letting her hold the baby was a mistake. I thought I would never get him back. Mater's eyes gleamed with pride as she kissed her grandson, fussing over him as he flailed his small fists.
Exhausted, I spent the next few days resting. The baby's first visitor was the young daughter of my hostess. She was delighted to see a child even smaller than herself.
"Baby!" She giggled happily. "Him cute!"
My son seemed to like her. He would wrap his pudgy little hand around hers. I wondered if years in the future, I would have a wedding to plan between the two of them, but for the moment, I would enjoy my son's infancy.
"Do you feel rested enough for someone else to see the baby?" my hostess asked.
I nodded.
"I'll let him know."
Moments later, Publius stepped into the room. Before so much as greeting me, he gently took my son from my arms.
"I got to hold our nephew first!" He smiled down at the baby. "When you're older, Uncle Publius will tell you about the time your mother…"
"You idiot!" I interjected. "After all I've been through for your sake, you had the audacity to get arrested!"
He laughed. "You sound like Tiberius!"
Publius explained that while he had been waiting in jail, he had used the opportunity to share his religion with other prisoners. He had been amazed at their ability to discuss their different beliefs calmly without any strong words or flaring tempers, as if they were conversing about the latest chariot race.
Believing that a blissful afterlife awaited him, my brother did not fear being dead. However, he was terrified of the pain he would feel during his execution before death finally ended his suffering. He reminded himself that his citizenship might get him a lighter sentence. Perhaps he would only be exiled, or since this was his first offense, he may get a very stern warning.
"You have a visitor!" a guard announced. "This had better be quick!"
To my brother's surprise, Numerius stood before him.
"Trust me," Numerius mouthed inaudibly. "Trust me."
Publius nodded.
Turning to the guard, Numerius stated, "Sir, I have always known my brother to be reasonable. No doubt his young age has caused him to be impetuously brazen and make foolish mistakes, but whose youth is exempt from such imprudent audacity? Will you let him go to the temple with me? I'm sure I can persuade him to do the most simplistic task to honor the gods of Rome without causing any legal trouble."
"You will flee!" the guard retorted. "The two of you will escape the moment I let him out of my sight!"
"Send soldiers with us and have them surround the temple," Numerius suggested. "Allow me to enter alone with my brother for no longer than it takes to count to centum. Then if we have not returned outside, the soldiers will come in after us, and we will be trapped with nowhere to escape."
The guard considered it for several moments. Publius was confused, but Numerius smiled at him reassuringly.
"If you cannot change your brother's mind, are you willing to share his punishment?!" the guard demanded brusquely.
"I am."
"Very well."
Within the hour, Publius was dragged out of his cell. Although the brightness of the sun hurt his eyes, he was grateful to see light. When he could open his eyes without squinting, he looked around the forum, as if he were seeing it for the first and last time.
Numerius dared not attempt conversation while the two of them were surrounded by soldiers, who made sure to grasp the arms of each prisoner to keep either from trying to run. However, my brother was nonchalant, walking confidently as if he had no thought of potential consequences.
When they reached the temple, the soldiers released them, reminding my brothers that they would be alone only to the count of centum. Numerius nodded, assuring them that they would be quick, remembering to thank the soldiers for the opportunity to talk some sense into his brother and save them all the trouble of making Publius stand trial.
Following Numerius to the altar, Publius whispered, "You know I can't do it."
Numerius looked around to make sure no one else was listening before he quietly responded, "Listen well. You're not in front of your friends now. There's no one else here to impress. I know you're too obstinate to offer incense, but will you just pick it up, hold it for a few moments, and put it down? That's all I ask. Just take the incense and then put it back. Is that too much?"
Publius hesitantly reached for a small pinch of incense.
"Make sure you get a little under your fingernails."
Unsure of our brother's reasons for such an unusual request, but trusting him completely, Publius did as he was bidden.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Numerius whispered, "Now keep your mouth shut, and we're free."
Publius nodded to show he understood.
Rushing to the door of the temple, Numerius jubilantly shouted, "He has done it! He has done it! He is no traitor!"
One of the soldiers waited for Publius to come into view before motioning for him to come closer. When my brother obeyed, the soldier inspected his hands.
"This one has the slightest trace of the scent of incense, and I see some under the nail," he stated, touching the sleeve of my brother's tunic. "It's warm. He was indeed standing near the altar."
Publius received a stern lecture about remembering to pay tribute to the gods and being more prudent when speaking to Rome's valiant soldiers, and Numerius was advised against any future meddling in legal matters. Then both were released.
"Don't ever get yourself that close to martyrdom again!" Numerius ordered when they finally had the chance to speak alone. "Do you know what the news did to our poor sister?!"
"I'm truly sorry, Numerius, and I don't know how to thank you for saving me," answered Publius, "but there's one thing I still can't understand."
"What might that be?"
"When we were in the temple, why didn't you offer incense?"
Numerius shrugged. "As far as I know, there is no law that requires people to make an offering every time they set foot in the temple."
"But when you're with someone known to be a heretic, and you don't sprinkle the incense over the fire, it makes you seem like you're…"
"Tace!"
Publius said no more about it. Numerius suggested that our brother should visit me to see the baby and let me know what had happened.
"He said he'll be here shortly," Publius concluded, rubbing his nephew's back.
Brotherly love is sweet.