Hey! So I've been working on this chapter ALL day. I took breaks in between so I didn't rush this. I wanted to give you guys a lengthy chapter since I haven't been able to post as much as before. I hope you like. Please review! I love you all 3

As always, happy reading :)

Lockdown

Tara was shoveling through her numerous textbooks in her locker. She was alone and in her own world. She just came out of her biology class. Today was a two period biology class. Everyone else besides her hated it. It was a Friday, it was beautiful out and now it's lunch time. Tara couldn't be happier. She was going to catch up with Wendy. Tara has been spending her lunch only with Wendy. If they spend it with Donna, Opie would obviously be there and wherever Opie goes Jax goes. And she was still avoiding him. Tara was surprised that he hasn't made any attempts this school week to try and talk to her. He took Wendy's advice. Tara closed her locker to see a beaten down face she didn't want to see.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"What do you want Candy?" Tara obliged.

"I just wanted to let you know that I didn't tell my mom about what happened. You still have a job."

Tara scoffed. "And I'm what? Supposed to be thankful? Want me to show some gratitude? Fuck off Candy." Tara spat off before walking off.

"No. That's not what I meant. Look, what happened last Friday-"

"Don't." Tara turned around and pointed her finger at Candy with a stern look.

"It wasn't his fault." Candy urged.

"What? It's all yours is it?" Tara smiled bitterly. "Stop playing the martyr and get on with it Candy."

"I was drunk and no it does not excuse what I did. I overheard the club members picking on Jax for being with you. Kept asking him that it's ridiculous to just be with one woman when there are plenty surrounding him." Candy made a look of disgust as she spoke. "I took it upon myself to just meddle in. I was drunk and stupid. I wouldn't have went there or maybe I would have.."

Tara's eyes dilated harder at Candy's last statement.

Candy held up her hands. "That doesn't mean he would have. Him putting his hands on my ass that was all him but I knew it was just to get them off his back. I'm sorry Tara. I like you. You're cool and smart and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or piss you off. I know my apology means shit-"

"Good. Now get out of my face. " Tara looked at Candy's face and smiled. "Before that other eye matches the same color as the other." Tara watched as Candy walked away defeated. Tara rolled her eyes and walked out the double doors.

Only when she walked outside she didn't see Wendy, she saw Jax standing where her and Wendy have been meeting up all week. Tara rolled her eyes again. "Jesus Christ." Tara whispered to herself.

"You gotta minute?" Jax's head nodded up to her.

"Not a shot in hell Teller. " Tara continued to walk pass him into the school's parking lot.

"Come on Tara. Please." Jax pleaded while being fast on her feet.

Tara turned around. "Just as I told Candy two seconds ago, fuck off." Tara turned back around and walked away. This time Jax didn't follow. He just stood there as he watched his girl walk away.

Tara finally reached her destination. Under the bleachers. When she bent down to go under she saw Wendy there smoking a blunt.

"You forget where we were supposed to meet or was that a set up?" Tara questioned breaking Wendy's zone.

"Set up." Wendy answered smiling.

Tara sat next to Wendy and scolded her.

"Oh come on Tara. Wonder boy has been moping all week. He came to me this morning asking for help. I felt bad for the poor guy. I'm human Tara. And so is he. Human's make mistakes." Wendy stated holding out the blunt to Tara.

Tara took the blunt and inhaled the sweet taste. She exhaled all her drama in the past five minutes.

"Are you ever goin to talk to him?" Wendy asked.

Tara didn't answer. She just took another puff and looked straight forward. Moments went by with Wendy's question hanging in the air.

"I don't think you should forgive him easily. You should absolutely make him work for it. But Tara.." Wendy waited for Tara's eyes to meet hers. "No one is perfect. He isn't Prince Charming. He's the Prince of Charming. There's a difference and you of all people should know that better than anyone in this entire town." Wendy nudged Tara's arm. "Gotta talk to him babe. Even if it's just to get things squared away. Maybe you two don't have to be together. But there is too much there to just cut him out."

Tara nodded her head. "Well I see why your last name is Case considering you propose a good one." Tara smirked. "I'm still gonna make him suffer just a little more."

Wendy nodded her head and stood up. "Good. Boys are dicks anyways. Time for you to show him your tricks." Wendy held out her hand to Tara. "Let's go. I'm hungry."

Tara and Wendy grabbed their things and walked out from underneath the bleachers.

"There they are!" Donna pointed and shouted out.

Wendy and Tara looked up in confusion. Piney was there with Bobby in the van. Jax was running out to Tara.

"We gotta go babe." Jax grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her towards the van.

Tara snatched her hand away and stopped walking.

"What are you doing Tara? Let's go. We're on lockdown." Jax turned back for her.

"Then I'll go with Opie and Donna in his truck." Tara huffed and walked towards the truck.

Jax stopped in front of her. His face reeking of annoyance. "No Wendy is going with them. You're coming with me."

"Get your ass in this van Tara. Don't make me come out and put you in." Piney shouted from the driver's seat.

Tara looked at Piney and then back at Jax. She blew out air of frustration and then walked into the van.

"Why you gotta be such a pain girl?" Piney questioned.

Tara didn't answer. She just sat across from Jax feeling his stare burn a hole into her. "W-wait what about my dad?" Tara got up slightly from her seat.

Jax held out his hands gesturing her to relax. "They picked him up already."

Tara finally looked into those blue eyes and felt herself melt into them. She nodded her head and took her seat.

They arrived into the SAMCRO lot. Once the van was parked Tara didn't waste a minute hopping out of it.

"Oh baby thank god you're okay." Gemma rushed over to Tara and embraced her.

This was the first time in a long time that Tara has embraced Gemma into her. "My dad?"

"He's here baby. He's inside the clubhouse." Gemma nodded her head to the clubhouse while rubbing Tara's arm.

Tara nodded and then walked off into the clubhouse.

Opie parked up next to the van. He saw Jax standing idle and watching Tara storm off into the clubhouse. Opie walked towards him.

"Still boxing you out huh?"

"Yup." Jax took a deep breath in. "I ain't got the first clue on how to fix this." Jax shook his head and hung his head before walking towards his mom.

"Hey baby you alright?" Gemma questioned as she was giving her son a kiss and a hug.

"Yeah I'll deal." Jax said opening his box of cigarettes and putting one into his mouth.

"She still not talkin to you?" Gemma put her hands on her hips.

As Jax was lighting his cigarette he shook his head no. He looked back up and blew out the dangerous toxins.

"You gotta talk to her baby."

"She wont listen." Jax shook his head again.

Gemma took a step closer. She took out her son's cigarette out of his mouth and tossed it to the ground. "Then you make her. She isn't like most girls Jackson. She is family. You go and make that right. You need a strong girl like her in your life." Gemma slapped the side of Jax's head. "And don't let me catch you with this shit in your mouth again."

Jax watched as the matriarch queen walked off into the office.

Well she didn't say anything about not letting her catch me with a drink. Jax thought to himself. He headed off into the clubhouse to join the rest of his family.

Tara was behind the bar serving members drinks. This was not a sight Jax wanted to see. His blood began to pump when he saw Tara making idle conversation with Kozik and Kyle. Kozik transferred to nomad before he transfers to Tacoma. Just until he got his drug addiction under control. He watched as Tara laughed serving Tig another glass of bourbon. Jax was heading to the bar when he felt a pull at his arm.

"What you doin brotha?" Opie asked.

"See what's so funny over there."

"Man let it go. Not like Kozik is going to try anything with a sixteen year old. Kyle..well Kyle is Kyle and as long as Wendy is here to keep him occupied you don't have anything to worry about man. It's not the time to talk to her. It'll just provoke her and her old man is here."

Jax took his best friend's words into consideration and nodded. Instead of joining in the clubhouse he walked into the back rooms and locked himself in there.

"Oh I feel bad for him." Donna said wrapping her arms around Opie's waist.

"Yeah. He's gotta think less with his dick though. Tara's doin nothing wrong."

Donna nodded her head and then tippy toed to kiss Ope. "Why don't you go be with him? I'll go hang with the girls.

"You and Wendy talkin yet?" Opie's brows rose.

"Nope. But we got to at some point right?" Donna walked off to the bar to join her friends.

"Tara it's so good to see your dad. He looks good." Donna commented.

"Yeah he's been really trying." Tara smiled. She watched as Kozik and her father engaged into conversation. She thought maybe it was good for Brain to have someone from the club who knew first hand what it's like to battle with an addiction.

"Yeah it's all hearts and rainbows." Wendy said jokingly.

Tara side eyed Wendy and rolled her eyes knowing Wendy is harmless.

"Speaking of addictions. How's your mom Wendy?" Donna questioned.

Tara nearly dropped the shot glass she was cleaning. Tara placed her worried eyes on Wendy. Wendy's eyes were wild with annoyance and anger.

"She's fine." Wendy gritted through her teeth. She grabbed a bottle of Jack from over the counter. "I'm gonna go find Kyle." Wendy noted as she walked away.

"Wendy.." Tara called out to her in worry. Tara the placed her eyes on a guilty looking Donna. Tara opened her arms out in question to her. "What's your problem lately?"

"I don't know. I didn't mean to come out nasty the way I just did. It's just she takes things too lightly like they don't matter when they do."

"That's just how some people deal with things Donna. You've been riding on her ass since she 'defended' the croweaters."

"I have not!" Donna bickered.

"Yes you have. That's when it all started. Then you tried putting my fight with Candy on her. In school you guys barely talk. And now your question, which sounded more like you were trying to put her down. What's going on Donna?"

Donna shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe it is the croweaters. I mean how am I ever supposed to be okay with.." Donna looked around. "..all of this?"

Tara shook her head. "It's apart of the deal Donna. This is apart of the club. And the club is apart of who they are. Opie and Jax. This was born into their blood. This is all they know." Tara waved her hand around the clubhouse. "This is their family. Their home. Who they are."

"And you're okay with this?" Donna whispered.

"I love the club. Not in the same way that Jax and Opie do. But this is apart of my life too. I grew up in this. But unlike Jax and Opie I am not look to for the future of this club. I can choose my own path. Is this okay? Maybe it isn't. But as of right now, yes I am okay with this. Plus you have nothing to worry about. Opie would never cheat. At least he has the balls to back those croweaters and any women away from him unlike Jax." Tara shook her head in dismay.

"Do you miss him?" Donna asked softly.

"Everyday." Tara answered as she cut the limes.

Both of the girls were so into their conversation that they didn't notice the queen of charming listening in on their conversation. Gemma couldn't be more proud or relieved at how Tara handled Donna. She stook up for the club. Tara was truly her daughter. Maybe not by blood but she figured she didn't do too bad picking up the fallen pieces. Tara is someone Gemma knew she could trust. She was meant to be with her son. Gemma walked away with a smile crept on her lips.

Tig came into the back room. "Hey boy's Clay's callin a meeting. Come."

Jax and Opie looked at each other. Everyone in the clubhouse will finally get an answer as to what is going on. They hopped off the bed and strolled into the clubhouse. Opie found his spot next to Donna. Jax saw that Tara was near Opie and Donna and was by herself. He wanted so bad to be near her. He wanted her in his arms like Opie and Donna. He didn't care about what this meeting or lockdown was about but he was glad to have a roof and four walls with a locked gate keeping her close by.

"Everybody listen up!" Tig announced.

Everyone in the clubhouse gathered around to the podium, if you will call it, and stood around together to listen to Clay's announcement.

"Welcome to club reaper all. As you know lockdowns normally entail tough business the club needs to handle that can put our loved ones in danger." Clay took a long breath and sighed it all out. "Lowell Harland Senior was gun down this morning by the Mayans."

Everyone in the club gasped in fear and shock stopping Clay from his speech. Jax's eyes moved away from Tara and open wide in shock towards Clay. Jax took a step forward to the club's president.

Clay brought his hands to the air to silence the crowd. "Everybody take a deep breath. You are all here because Redwood takes care of it's own. We will protect you. Now, chances are within these next few days with your stay nothing will happen. But we need you all to be there for Lowell's family. He was one of us. And those…animals took him away. If you have any safety concerns you consult with Piney. You have any comfort concerns you speak to my queen. Nobody gets in, nobody gets out without an escort and approval. Under this roof no one else will get hurt. I love you all. Make yourselves at home." Clay reached out for Gemma.

"Alright!" Tig cheered and clapped encouraging the entire clubhouse to clap along.

As soon as the club cleared out in the main entry Tara made her way to Clay and Gemma. Jax followed along.

"Where is he?" Tara asked Clay.

"Where's who sweetheart?"

"Lowell Jr. And his mom?"

Clay bowed his head. Gemma stepped up. "Patricia is having a hard time not putting the club to blame for her husband's sudden death. They didn't want to be here. We tried everything we could to get her and Lowell here. She just couldn't bear it."

"Well you should've dragged them. You said it yourself they are family."

"Tara.." Gemma sighed

"Fine then I'll go."

"We can't let that happen sweetheart." Clay urged.

"I know what it's like to lose a parent and then have another lose themselves to their own pain. If you don't bring them here Lowell will become an orphan just like I did for many years. He needs to know that he isn't alone in this." Tara argued further.

Jax watched her protest with admiration. He understood Tara's point completely.

"I'll go with her." Jax stepped forward.

Tara turned and eyed him in dismay. "I got it."

"No. I'll have Bobby and Chibs with you. But not too long. I need them in case things go south." Clay ordered.

"You didn't have to come you know." Tara stated as they walked up to Lowell's front door.

"I wanted to."

"Why?"

"Because I know what it's like to lose a parent Tara." Jax answered in annoyance.

Tara didn't say anything back. She just knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer. Chibs and Bobby waited in the van. A couple seconds went by and Jax knocked on the door. With no answer Jax told Tara he was gonna circle on back to peak through the back door.

"Looks like they're not here." Jax came back.

Tara huffed and started banging on the door. "Lowell! Come on Lowell open up!" Tara continued to bang.

She turned around to see Bobby hopping out of the van with a concerned look on his face. Right when she was just about to give up the front door swung open. Lowell's eyes spilled with fear and pain. Tara ran up to him.

"She's hurt" Lowell cried.

"Who's hurt Lo?" Tara questioned as she hugged him.

"My mom."

"What'd she take?" Bobby interjected.

"I don't know. She's real messed up. She's not answering me."

"We gotta get her to St. Thomas." Tara urged as she ran up his stairs.

Patricia seemed almost completely faded. She looked pale and her lips were purple.

"Oh my god. Call 911!" Tara yelled out.

"Someone has to stay with her." Tara argued with Clay. "What if the Mayans come back trying to hurt her. Then Lowell will be completely alone. And he won't want to leave her sight so what if they hurt him too? What good does that solve?"

Clay shared a look with Tig. Tig shrugged his shoulders knowing the Mayans wouldn't come back but him and Clay had to play the role of being concerned.

"Come on. I'm sure you can spare one of the prospects at least." Tara urged once more. In her eyes you can see the reflection of a scared child of losing a parent. She knew this all too well.

Clay nodded. "Call one of the prospects here to keep an out on Patricia and Lowell." Clay told Tig.

"Got it boss."

Gemma came behind Tara. She rubbed her hand through her hair. "Proud of you baby."

Tara looked at Gemma and smiled and rested her head on Gemma's shoulder.

"You should get back and get some sleep sweetheart. It's been a long day."

"Yeah" Tara nodded her head as she took a breath in.

"Jax!" Gemma called out.

Jax had been sitting in the waiting room with some of the club members waiting to hear back about Lowell and Patricia. He has been watching Tara continue her protest with Clay about lending out someone to keep an out on them. When he heard his mother calling he came rushing.

"Get Chibs to take you and Tara back to the clubhouse. She needs rest." Gemma kissed Jax's cheek. She redirected her attention to Tara. Gemma gave Tara a kiss and hugged her once more. "Night baby."

"Night Gem."

Gemma and Jax said their goodbye's. Jax got Chibs and they were out the door. Bobby also came along to make sure the ride back went smooth. Jax and Tara were in the back. This time they were sitting side by side.

A couple minutes passed into the drive when Jax felt Tara's head on his shoulder. He was so surprised. He looked down to a sleeping Tara. She looked so peaceful. He only wish he could have this all night.

"Tara" Jax whispered.

"Hm" Tara murmured.

"We're here. At the clubhouse." Jax lightly shook her awake.

Tara opened her eyes realizing she had her head rested on his shoulder. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Jax wanted nothing more than for her to stay asleep next to him. At least subconsciously he knew Tara felt safe with him.

Chibs and Bobby already walked into the clubhouse. Tara slowly hopped out of the van. She was barely seeing straight. She felt so drained. As she was walking she felt herself trip forward slightly.

"Woah! I gotcha" Jax grabbed Tara. "Still sleepy huh?"

Tara nodded her head. Jax picked Tara up and to his surprise she didn't fight him. Jax walked her into the clubhouse threshold style while Tara passed out again on him.

"What happened? Is s-she okay?" Donna ran up to Jax and Tara.

"She's fine Donna. She's just tired." Jax stated in a tone of annoyance as he continued to walk his way in.

Jax took noticed that the clubhouse was booked to capacity. He didn't know how Tara felt about sleeping in the same bed as her father so he walked them into his dorm room and thought he'd just sleep on the couch. Jax entered his room and placed Tara down gently. Her body shifted into a comfortable position. Jax began to take off Tara's shoes. Jax smoothed Tara's hair from her face to the back. He gazed upon her face. He bent down and kissed Tara's temple.

"Hm" Tara moaned so quietly.

Jax peered up and began to walk out.

"Stay.." Tara whispered.

Jax turned around and saw Tara's eyes were barely open.

"Stay with me." Tara said again.

Jax's heart felt warmth. His stomach felt butterflies and twisted with knots. He smiled so widely. "Okay babe."

Jax took off his shirt and jeans. He put sweats on and laid down next to Tara. He was staring at the ceiling contemplating how he should sleep when he felt Tara's hand grab his and pull his arm over to wrap around her torso. Jax obliged happily and moved himself closer to her. He nestled his head in her soft hair and fell asleep spooning the only girl he cherished in this messed up world.

Tara awoke with a jolt. She began to stretch out when she felt arms around her. Tara picked herself up quickly in fear. She hadn't remembered coming into the clubhouse. All she remembered was leaving the hospital and being in the van with Jax, Chibs and Bobby. She looked down to see Jax sound asleep. She watched as he took his breaths. She ran her hands in his hair. She smiled slightly. And then she remembered. They aren't who they were more than a week ago. She's supposed to be mad at him and boy was she still in pain. But she missed him. More than anything she's missed in a long time. She wanted nothing but to lie back down and kiss him awake. Instead, she carefully maneuvered her way out of Jax's grasp and out of the bed. She went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

By the time she got out she heard more movement outside Jax's dorm room. He was still sound asleep. Tara did her last minute touches and went into the kitchen. There she saw Gemma, Luann and the other croweaters cooking up breakfast.

"Morning baby" Gemma greeted as she stirred what looked like pancake batter.

"Morning." Tara smiled. "Need any help."

"Yeah. Tara, baby can you get started on cooking up the bacon please?" Luann asked.

"Yeah. No problem."

Jax woke up with his hand brushing along the once filled side of the bed. He picked up his head to see Tara gone from their bed.

"Babe?" Jax called out.

Nothing.

Jax got out of the bed and knocked on his bathroom door.

Nothing.

He opened the door to see there too was empty. Jax sighed and did his own morning business.

Jax walked out of the dorm room and outside the clubhouse to the benches. It was warm out in Charming today.

"Well rise and shine wonder boy." Wendy greeted.

Jax half smiled and sat down with Opie, Donna, Wendy and Kyle. Tara was no where in sight. He took a look around and saw her father was still here chatting up with Kozik at another table.

"She's inside helping your mom." Wendy answered is question.

Jax nodded his head. He hated this. This feeling that she wont come back to him. Everyone around him appeared to be so happy. He just wanted to feel like that again, but only one person can do that. Tara. His thoughts were disrupted when a plate of eggs, pancakes and bacon was put in front of him. When he looked up he saw it was Tara who was bringing him a plate.

"Morning." Tara smiled at him slightly.

"Mornin." Jax smiled to her completely.

"Orange juice?"

"Yeah. Please."

Jax watched as she served him his drink.

"Wow! Brain, beauty and she can cook? Teller, she's a keeper." Wendy joked as she hammered her fork down to her plate.

"That she is." Jax murmured to himself.

Just as he was about to dig into his meal Jax felt someone take a seat next to him. He looked to see Tara placing her breakfast next to him. And she was sitting a lot closer to him than he expected. He felt like things were shifting for them. Tara looked at Jax and smiled. The six of them made idle conversation with one another. And for the first time in a full week, it wasn't awkward. It felt..normal. Again.

Tara was getting changed in the room when Jax walked in.

"Shit sorry." Jax went to close the door.

"It's okay. I'm done." Tara turned around waiting for Jax to come in.

"You goin somewhere?"

"Yeah I was gonna check up on Lowell and Patricia."

Jax nodded his head. They both stood there in the middle of the room just standing there awkwardly. Tara nodded her head.

"Well I guess I should get my escort for the day." Tara began to make her way to the door.

Jax bowed his head. "I miss you."

Tara stopped in her tracks and closed the door. She now bowed her head. "I miss you too." Tara turned around to see that Jax up close and personal. They haven't been this close in over a week.

Jax took a gulp and brought his hand to her cheek. Tara rested her head into his hand. She began to shake her head. "Jax..no" Tara pushed herself away but Jax grabbed her by her waist.

"Please. Don't go anywhere." Jax eyes began to flood with tears. "I can't do this anymore."

"Neither can I Jax. But I trusted you. I gave you everything I had left and you betrayed it!"

"I-I know. I'm so sorry Tara. I swear if I could take it back I would. She didn't mean anything. I was trying to prove a point that I didn't even want to make. I'm an asshole. But you..you make me better."

"Clearly I don't. Do you have any idea what it was like to watch you put your hands on her. To watch as you slowly brushed your hands on her ass where not too long ago was on me. To watch as she took her hands and brought them to her bare breast and you did NOTHING but let her. You said nothing to stop her. You proved your point well to the club you aren't even in yet and to me. I don't matter. The opinion of others do."

Jax didn't know what else to say. He didn't have any more words. He just has these feelings. Things he could show her. Jax grabbed Tara and brought her lips smashing up to his. He felt her pull away slightly but he only pulled her in closer. He wrapped his hand around the back of her waist and pushed her into him. He opened his mouth and felt her lips move back onto his. This was it. The things they felt but were too stubborn by pride and mistakes to get past. Their kisses heated against each other. They stood there for minutes. Jax picked up Tara and placed her on the bed.

He began to kiss Tara all over. Jax felt this intensely strong emotion and urge to tell her that he needs her and he loves her. But he couldn't. He didn't want to tell her that he loves her for the first time because he made a mistake. No. The first time he tells her he wants it to be when she is smiling at something he said or did for her. He wanted it to be when they were in a better place.

Just pulled away and looked into her green eyes. So hypnotizing. "Tara…please. I know I messed it up. I know. I'm ashamed of myself more than you can ever know. I screwed up what we had and I promised you I wouldn't hurt you. But I'm learning. I've never done this before. And I don't want to mess this up. Whatever this is. It's all I want babe. You and me. I don't want anyone else. Just teach me the better way. And I promise I'll be the man you deserve to have. I'll be your everything like you are mine." Jax's eyes once again filled with tears.

Tara wiped his fallen tear. She smiled at him. "Oh Jackson, you already are my everything." Tara pulled him down to her lips and placed a long gentle kiss on his lips. "Don't do this to me ever again."

"I swear to you babe I wont. Not in this lifetime or the next. " Jax shook his head as he rubbed her cheek.

Tara smiled and gave him another kiss. "Come on. Let's go to St. Thomas."