Okay so... I'm sure we've maybe all thought about this before but not quite like this...
Also, eh... Maybe high T for some innuendo.
David was a simple guy. He had a wife, three kids. Two his own flesh and blood and the oldest adopted. He lived in a city like many other simple individuals.
But there was something that was, not quite so simple in his house. His eldest son, Peter, had an extrodinary mind. While it came as a surprise to no one that he could be found helping his two younger brothers with their homework, or playing with them or swinging around New York in a onesie- oh wait. That last one wasn't quite so simple.
Yes, like all teens, he had one huge abnormality. His just involved fighting crime in skin tight clothing and white sticky fluids.
While he couldn't be prouder of the good his son was doing, there was always the inevitable calls...
"Mr. Jones? My car was thrown into a criminal-"
"Okay so I know my policy covers the Avengers destroying my car-"
"So this webbing stuff may ruin my paint job-"
"Is Spiderman inflicted damage covered-"
"Is having a criminal webbed to my car-"
"If there are multiple supers involved with that affect my rate-?"
"Hey dad," a voice broke David of his thoughts. Speak of the spider...
"Should I be expecting any calls?"
"Wha- No! At least, I don't think so. I didn't damage any cars or houses this time."
But Peter did cringe when the phone rang. David raised a brow and walked over. His eyes landed back on Peter who hung his head sheepishly. David awaited the new intro to Peter's latest escapades.
"Hello Mr. Jones. I was wondering about my homeowners insurance... Am I covered if half of my tree is destroyed from superhuman activity?"
"Half your tree?"
"Yep. Clear down the middle."
"Alright," he said, then covered the mouth part of the phone, "We'll talk about this later Peter."
"Yes dad."
Yes everyone, I gave you... An insurance guy. What's his story? How did he end up like this? We may never know.
I just thought this would be incredibly funny. Like a good neighbor, David is there. Like a good hero, Spider-Man's there!