A/N: I had to make sure that I got this update in time before the Glee 100 episode. I hate to say it guys but I think I'm actually excited for a Glee episode, all because of brittana. Be strong fans, and if anything crazy happens we're I'm here for you all.

Song Suggestion: "A Better Son/Daughter" by Rilo Kiley

~And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on

And your friends they sing along and they love you

But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap

And it teases you for weeks in its absence ~

I was happy. It was the weirdest I'd felt in a long time, but standing in the kitchen next to Brittany with a spoonful of uncooked cookie dough in my mouth was the happiest I've ever felt. I wanted to take this moment and multiply it, I wanted to compress it into little tiny pills and take one every morning. I didn't tell Brittany how I felt though, her smile was enough to let me know that she felt it too.

There were still flashes though. That's what I get for going off my medication and pretending like Brittany could save me. Mentally I was a wreck, I couldn't just be cured because someone loved me, but it was a nice thought anyway. Just to pretend. "You can't eat too much, you'll get sick." Brittany took the spoon out of my mouth and stuck it in hers. "Yum."

"We should probably say some of the cookie dough for the actual cookies." I heard a door open and I turned around to see Izzy standing there with her backpack on and a tub of ice cream in her hand. "Hey Izzy, how was school?"

"Super lame, we're dissecting frogs next week and I'm so not excited." Izzy put the ice cream in the freezer. "I think I'll tell then I'm not doing it, that'll show them."

"Yeah take down the system, that's smart." Brittany laughed and I looked over at her, confused. "What?" I asked.

"Izzy's gonna talk non-stop about how you think she's smart." Izzy stuck out her tongue and Brittany did the same in return it was cute to see them back on good terms. I felt bad for putting them in a weird position, I knew Izzy and Brittany both took my departure in different ways and they didn't click for a while, but since I'm back Izzy seems okay with it all. "You never tell me that I'm smart." Brittany pouted.

"Cause you're not." Izzy interjected.

"That's not true, Britt's hella smart. Sometimes she even understands me, which people with PhD's struggle to do." I explained to Izzy who had hopped up on the counter and kicked off her shoes by now. "So you should stop with the hate, you love your sister so stop pretending you don't."

"You love her too." Izzy said with a knowing grin, her eyes darting from mine to Brittany's.

"Yeah exactly and that's why I'm nice to her." Brittany was watching me, she knew I was uncomfortable but didn't interject. I think she wanted to see how I would respond. Izzy was no Fran, I couldn't tell her everything or even how I was feeling most of the time, but she was still important to me. I still cared about her. "Don't you have homework or something?"

"Oh please you're just trying to get rid of me so you can have some alone time with Brittany." Izzy laughed but slid off the countertop. "But I'll leave only if you guys take me to the first basketball game, and buy me dinner." Izzy added the last part with a smile.

"Sure whatever shrimp, now get outta here." Brittany said waving Izzy off. She left and went to her room, leaving Brittany and I alone again. "You were working out today. I saw you on the treadmill."

"Yeah." I didn't know where this was going, but the way Brittany kept moving towards me made the butterflies in my stomach flutter even more.

"You looked hot, like always but you know there's a better way of getting a work out…" Brittany pinned me against the counter, her hands holding my wrists down. "You could always ride a bike." Brittany's laugh took me out of my trance, I was so lost in her eyes that I didn't even register the joke until she let me go. "Gotcha."

"Very funny." Brittany put the cookies in the oven and grabbed my hand, leading me towards the stairs. I didn't say a word as she took me into her room. Brittany pushed me down on her bed, and I leaned back on my elbows watching her close the door and walk back over and stand in front of me. "You're not very talkative today."

"I don't want to talk." Brittany straddled my hips and gently pressed her lips against mine. She pushed me down further, holding my wrists like she had in the kitchen, only now they were above my head. Her lips were soft, plump, tasting of chocolate and I couldn't get enough of her. "Let's run away together."

"Hm?" Brittany continued kissing me, trailing kisses down my jaw, nipping at my collarbone and releasing my wrists so her hands could explore my hips instead. "Britt?"

"We could you know. Seriously, we could if you wanted. No more distractions, just us." It was a nice thought. Who was I kidding? It was a perfect thought. "Where would you want to go?"

"I don't know." I stopped Brittany before she could pull my shirt over my head. She was moving too fast. Again. This was her strategy, sometimes she would just kiss me so we wouldn't have to talk or think. It was the easy way out, one day we'd go further but just not today. "Where would you want to go?"

"Italy…or maybe like New Zealand…can I keep kissing you?" I nodded and Brittany kissed me again, pulling my body closer to hers. She pulled her shirt over her head, I looked at her bra clad breasts, her eyes were trained on me for a second before her lips met mine again. "You can touch me." I knew I could, I just didn't know how. I wanted her to feel good, but I didn't want to squeeze too hard or pinch her the wrong way. "Don't be shy."

"I'm sorry." I kissed her collarbone and then the top of her breast. "I never expected this." Brittany laid down next to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I wish we could stay like this forever, Brittany's soft skin felt perfect against my hands. "What if this happened earlier?"

"What? Us?"

"Yeah."

"I dunno." Brittany didn't break eye contact for a while. "I think being with you would've helped. I mean knowing how you felt for real, that would've been nice."

"I'm sorry for not being honest." I told her. "I should have-."

"You weren't ready. Neither was I." There was a knock at the door and Brittany and I quickly sat up. Brittany grabbed her shirt and tugged it on before walking over and sitting on her desk. "Come in." I arched an eyebrow when Quinn walked in and dropped her backpack and duffle bag on the ground. "Why'd you knock Quinn?"

"I don't know." Quinn said with a shrug even though it was obvious she was thinking something else. It bothered me that Quinn would act so weird about this especially when we'd already talked about Brittany and I. I know we didn't talk it through, but she knows I love Brittany, isn't that all that needed to be said. "Britt, can I stay over here tonight? My parents are going on a fucking ragger and it's pissing me off."

"Yeah sure…" Brittany didn't seem sure and it was so obvious I wished I could just cover my face and curl up into a ball.

"Actually I should probably get going. Fran's probably heading over now-ish anyway." Quinn scrunched up her face like she was trying to figure something out. "She's like I duno treating me like I'm seven."

"Want me to talk to her?" Quinn asked.

"No, I mean I'm thankful. It's just weird, she's my friend…I don't do well when things change so quickly." Brittany nodded in understanding, but Quinn just kept her body leaning back comfortably without as much as a sympathetic glance.

"Relationships are weird like that. Everything just changes so quickly and you just have to roll with it or you'll lose everything, you know?" I didn't even want to look at Quinn but Brittany was staring at me and I had no other choice.

"Um…do you need like a moment or something?" I asked her.

"I was just trying to help." Quinn said defensively. I heard a honk from outside and I was about to check out the window to make sure it was Fran when Izzy came in the room.

"Santana your new fake mom is here." She said casually before waving to Quinn.

"I should get going." I glanced at Brittany before waving bye and heading downstairs. It wasn't until I was halfway down the steps that I realized that someone was following me. I turned and Quinn was standing there looking like she didn't even want to be noticed. "Jeez, Quinn stalker much."

"Sorry." Quinn looked behind her like she was worried that someone was actually following her. "I just wanted to tell you that…well…sorry."

"What?"

"I was making a lot of things about me, but the world doesn't revolve around me."

"Course it does, you're an angel." I said half kidding half completely honest.

"Well yeah but…I think I interrupted something when I came over." Quinn blushed but didn't try to hide it, like if she had she'd be admitting something. "And now I feel like I'm pushing you out."

"No, seriously, you're not. And you didn't interrupt-."

"Yes I did." Quinn said insistently. "You're cute. She's cute. You'll be cute together, no complaints here."

"If you say so."

"You know what you could be a little more enthusiastic about this. I'm giving you my blessing here and you're being all dismissive. It took a lot to come down here and tell you this. I deserve an award." I couldn't help but laugh a little and Quinn did too, even if she didn't realize I was laughing at her. "So that's all I have to say so…I'm going back up and I'll send Brittany down. Wait by the door." Quinn two steps up the stairs before turning around and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I love you."

"I love you too Quinn." She hardly heard my response because she was already jogging back upstairs. I walked down to the front door and waited a few minutes. Brittany came skipping down and she nearly knocked me over with her hug. "Quinn said you wanted to say me."

"Well yeah…don't I always?" Brittany rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek. "So…"

"So…" Brittany leaned in and captured my lips with her own. She pressed me back against the door and pulled my body closer to hers. "Why am I letting you leave again?" Brittany questioned with her eyes still closed.

"Because you know I'm coming back." Brittany nodded but held my hand until I was halfway out the door. I waved goodbye to her and met a patiently waiting Fran. She smiled when she saw me and I got in the passenger's side seat.

"Hey, did you eat?" Fran asked after we'd been driving for a few minutes.

"Just lots of cookies." I told her, rubbing my stomach.

"We'll grab something on the way home." I smiled and nodded a solid meal was alright with me. "Look at you, you're practically glowing."

"I'm having a pretty good day."

"Oh shit, get it gurl." I rolled my eyes. Fran could be such a kid sometimes.

"Not that. I mean it was just kissing and…well never mind. How was your day?" Fran shrugged and I didn't buy it. My mom said she sounded excited about coming back to Ohio. Plus, I'd spent a lot of my childhood listening to her talk about working in a hospital when she was older. "Oh come on. Anyone there as crazy as me?"

"You're not crazy." She said without even glancing over at me. "Has anyone said you were crazy?"

"No, sorry I didn't mean to like get you all pissed or whatever."

"I'm not I just care about you." The car fell silent and it felt weird. I wonder why she was acting like this. I just wanted her to be comfortable around me, but right now things felt weird. "I just want you to feel like you're okay. I know you won't see a doctor, but I have to do everything I can to-."

"You're not my therapist. You're my friend." I told her. "I'll be okay as long as you're here. Jeez, stop being all sentimental." She's really like her little sister sometimes, I thought to myself. My phone buzzed and I opened it, finding a picture of Quinn jumping on Brittany's bed. I laughed and sent a quick message back but when I glanced over at Fran to tell her that Quinn was being a dork I was met with a sob. I put my phone away and frowned. "Fran, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No it's not you it's just…no I'll tell you later. It's no big deal." I nodded but deep down I knew it was a big deal. Something was seriously wrong. If Fran thought I couldn't see pain when I saw it, she was completely wrong. "So when you get back call your mom."

"Sure big sister." I joked. She didn't even smile. I realized then that my life would always be like this. Just so many ups, twice as many downs.

So much for my wonderful day.

Tell me how you're feeling about this story. And all reviewers leave your tumblr names in the review so I can check out your blogs, I think it would be cool if I could follow some of you. Thanks.