Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only. The characters and world belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just like playing with them.

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Panthalassa: High Tide

Chapter 21 – Indecent Proposal

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"He brought home this completely terrified lemur, the thing had to have been going out of its mind with fright," Kenji continued his story while I ate my lunch. The last few days in the Denali home had taken some getting used to for me. Tanya's house was the only one that had a working kitchen, and my family had left me to use her master bedroom for my own. The thing was as big as a normal sized gas station; the bed was even on its own sort of platform. It looked so gaudy yet so romantic at the same time with its heavy blood red drapery hanging off the four posts which could be drawn for privacy.

The Denali's had built their houses, three of them, roughly a quarter mile away from one another, with Tanya's on the furthest side slightly closer to the road. I had yet to see Eleazar, Carmen, Kate or Garrets houses. But just being in Tanya's house had me realizing she loved the finer things in life. Silk was rampant in the place. I could tell Esme had tried and failed at one point to get Tanya to change her décor, as it looked like it was stuck in some sort of plush 1760's lace and silk loop. Most of the family was taking turns staying with me at her house, as no one wanted to leave me alone, understandably, but they also wanted some private time with their mates.

"I named him Jim," Toji said evenly.

"Jim-" Kenji sighed dramatically, "Was a gift for Ichiro's third birthday-"

"It was a pet," Toji defended a silly whimsical smile creeping onto his face. Alice sat at a chair adjacent to her new favorite person, her chin in her hands as she listened to the story.

"It was a snack," Kenji corrected.

Emmett laughed loudly, while Esme gasped sadly. She had a fondness for small mammals with big ears.

"Ever since then Ichiro can't look at a lemur without feeling guilty and thirsty at the same time." Kenji ran a hand through his hair and sat back, my eyes catching his briefly.

"I have a similar thing with bears," Emmett said

"You're thing with bears is just male bravado," Alice said quickly. "Tell us the one with the dodos." She added.

Toji, for the most part was a more typical red eye than Kenji or Ichiro seemed to be. He didn't have any human like ticks or idiosyncrasies. He did however managed to not set me completely on edge as his facial expressions changed just as often as a human, so he was pretty animated from the neck up.

"Summer of 1543 I had a pre-vision of the dodos becoming extinct, I knew I had that vision at that time so that I could do something about it-"

"Tell it right, for god sakes Toji," Kenji snapped good naturedly, his smile cocky and bright. I found myself grinning at their interaction.

"I was in Australia, long before the white man arrived, and knew those poor dumb birds were going to become extinct within a couple centuries. So I built a boat and crates and went hunting for them."

"Five months, he was rounding up the idiotic birds for five months. Kaneyasu and I met up with him right in the middle of this-that endeavor, you slapped Kaneyasu when he even looked into the cages you had set up."

"He was going to ask to eat them, besides they were frightened of him, two even died after you left." Toji defended.

"You slapped him?"Alice chuckled behind her hand.

"He slapped Kaneyasu frequently." Kenji's deep voice was full of mirth.

"Anyway I kept them on Okinawa as Akita is far too cold for them. I spent so much time minding them because I knew they were needed for some reason. Okinawa is far too sunny so it was hard to manage the birds.

"One sunny day I was sitting inside my hut I had taken residence, roughly a mile away from my pets when one of the dumb beasts managed to escape and was wandering along the edge of the village.

"Don't forget the dog," Kenji added.

Toji gave his companion an annoyed look, again without moving the rest of his body.

"The dog comes later. The villagers seemed to think my shack was haunted and usually stayed away. So I knew I could go under the cover of the trees to get the dodo. I got about twenty feet away when I had to hide. Now my visions are always going, sometimes they show things about to happen near me or things going on far away that I should take note of or things that might affect me later. So I had this new vision come through of a ship coming to the island in a couple days full of sick humans. It had nothing to do with the dodo, but the dog." Toji sighed sadly now.

I was not even close to following what he was talking about, but Alice was smiling ear to ear, and the others were grinning too.

"The village had a dog that was owned by their chief. The thing was smart and seemed to know when I was around. So I had gone down, after this dodo, hoping no human would see me. When the dog came out of a hut and started barking at me in the trees. The dodo completely terrified of me and the dog kept doing an odd zigzag back and forth from the village and the trees where I was. The dog finally stopped paying attention to me and went for the dodo. It was one of the females and I couldn't let the dog kill her so I threw a rock at the thing." He closed his eyes and frowned.

"I threw it so hard it went through the dog and hit the dodo in the head. Of course my visions were telling me this wasn't a bad thing when I was saddened by my birds death. The dog was wounded and ended up back at his master's home. He lived."

"Here is where it gets depressing," Toji gave me a serious nod. "There was an offshore earth quake and the ship that came in from another island had the survivors hoping to find aid on Okinawa. They had very little food to aid the survivors. Except that damn smart dog knew where I kept my dodo's and he led his master to my hutch, middle of the day I might add. And they feasted on my birds. They never even knew what they were eating!"

Emmett chuckled loudly.

"A feast of dodo's?" Rosalie was amused.

"I think I am missing something," I admitted.

Toji's smile faded slightly.

"He had worked so hard to gather the birds and bring them to Okinawa just so a bunch of villagers didn't starve to death." Kenji explained kindly.

"I thought he was saving them so they wouldn't become extinct."

"So did I…" Toji frowned.

He continued to tell of the misbegotten tale of him trying to save the dodo's on many occasions. His visions would always tell him how to do it, but eventually there was always another secret hidden reason for him saving the birds, most of them involved the birds becoming food to save some other life. But he'd managed to save them.

"You have actual dodo's in Japan? Right now?" I asked, awed. My lunch was mostly forgotten at this point.

"Actually because of their inherent lack of self preservation they tend to make great pets for vampires." Toji said proudly, Kenji sucked in his bottom lip and looked like he was trying not to laugh.

.~.

There was a shift with my relationships in the house. And I was old enough now to realize what it was. I was growing older, I was maturing. I still loved all of my family, but I had been treating Emmett slightly different. He tried not to act hurt around me but I knew he was. And it sucked that of all the thoughts I could have gone to; being tortured by Zhan, the Volturi, and even leaving Seth again, that my anger at Emmett over killing Mr. Golswiki was easiest for me to think about without getting overly emotional.

I was reverting back to my old habits of staying in my room, like I had when I first arrived in the Cullen home. If it wasn't a healthy thing to be doing no one ever said anything to me about it, well almost no one.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" Kenji asked early one evening. I had been in my room texting Ren back and forth; I didn't like talking on the phone when it could be avoided, that way the conversation could be kept private from the rest of the family. Pouting slightly I tried to think of a valid reason not to take Kenji up on his offer.

It had only taken me three days around Kenji to realize exactly what it was I was feeling around him. I was interested in him. Maybe not romantically, I couldn't really be sure because the idea of kissing a vampire was a little repulsive even if Kenji has the most kissable looking lips. He was hard to say 'No' to. But he had the same calm reassuring attitude that reminded me of Carlisle, and the fun casual playfulness in his eyes that Emmett had. It was a fascinating combination. It helped that he was unbearably handsome.

"I'm not a pet you know, you don't have to take me outside to piddle," I huffed back a little playfully. His eyebrows rose and he casually leaned against Tanya's door frame.

"You've been cooped in the house for a few days; everyone else has had a chance to enjoy the wilderness. And as I am the only vampire here that can touch you without you having to force your ability down, I figured we could take a hike so you might be able to enjoy the sights."

We'd tested it, Toji set me off almost as bad as Shizuka had, even though he claimed I didn't make him anymore thirsty than any other human.

He is too smooth, I thought, narrowing my eyes at him. Getting outdoors would be nice, as I hadn't really ventured outside since getting here. Depression over the countless lives lost in California had kept me from really being able to enjoy much. Add to that I was still depressed over Billy's death, my inability to do anything but wait, and my separation from Seth it would actually take a very well thought out proposal to get me out of the house. Alice… I angrily thought, knowing she likely had something to do with it.

I took a light fall jacket and a camera at Ren's suggestion so that I'd have memories of the good things for when I was changed.

The way he gently and carefully lifted me onto his back reminded me of the way one of my family might carry me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tightly as he ran through the warm sunlight in the open valley the Denali's had their houses.

I sighed contentedly and reflexively when the comforting smell of fresh baked bread and cookies swirled around me. Kenji had such a simple yet reassuring smell I had to stop myself from putting my nose close to his shoulder to take in a concentrated dose.

.~.

The rule was not to look around too much while being carried by a vampire; it would always make me dizzy. So that forced me to stare at the crook of his neck. He was wearing a button up brown and tan stripped shirt and over that brown pull over fleece sweater, with some deep green slacks. I'd never seen him wearing anything but the most impeccable clothes, and wondered who among the Japanese the fashion police was.

We stopped on a ridge after running through the forest and halfway up the mountain. We would have a great view of the sunset in an hour or so.

I took a long moment gaining my balance, enjoying the breeze and the view.

"How far are we away from the houses?" I asked.

Kenji had taken a few steps away, towards the edge of the ridge. I stiffened unwilling to get closer. Turning back he smiled at me.

"A little over ten miles."

I whistled at that, trying to see if I could spot the houses in the distant valley below.

"The houses are more in that," he pointed further south, "direction."

Finding a safe spot some twenty feet away from the edge I took out my camera and took a picture of Kenji standing in the sun. He even posed for me jutting out his jaw and pushing his shoulders back.

"How is the hunt for Wei?" I asked trying to scratch off something stuck to the edge of the camera.

He sighed loudly and was instantly next to me.

"You know as much as we do. Shizuka was our main source to finding out information-"I made to say I was sorry about her being guarded and prevented from watching Wei but Kenji talked over my attempt, "But even with her out there we weren't getting anywhere."

Giving him a challenging look I decided to sit on a rock jutting out of the ground.

"I suppose… I am just going to have to bite the bullet and take the fight to them, before any more damage can be done."

"Bite the bullet? So you've been putting it off- killing them I mean?"

Briefly our eyes met before he ran a hand through his black hair and the stroked his chin, running a thumb along the short beard there.

"It will be dangerous. I have been hesitant to act against them for a few years, since we found out what they were doing."

Indignation rose in me.

"Why?" I asked tightly. If he had attacked Zhan and Wei maybe I wouldn't have been kidnapped, or Jun Yue, or Akrahard, or the woman I'd murdered. I stomped out my building anger at him, because honestly it wasn't his fault. It was Zhan's. And I was glad I got control of my emotions because what he admitted to me next had taken me by surprise and I was ashamed.

"Why would I be hesitant to go into battle against the two of them? With an army of newborns and werewolves at their disposal? Evangeline, I am a vampire, a man, and a father. I have principals and the senseless and violent deaths those two are causing wounds my soul. But if I were to fight them Ichiro, and Shizuka would follow me-" His golden eyes looked imploringly at me. And I saw it there… a reflection of pain I'd seen in my dad's eyes when he'd been in Volterra. "I am prepared to die, but the thought of either of them being…being harmed it…" He trailed off and took a long breath in.

"You love them," I stated factually. Not that it surprised me; he didn't really strike me as the kind of man, or vampire, to take a situation like this lightly.

He nodded and came to lean against my rock. With the air of someone deep in thought he crossed his arm and folded his other hand to rest his chin on it. I watched him, wondering where the conversation was going to go from here.

"I feel their existence and the result of their actions is my fault," guilt laced his soft words.

We were sitting in a position next to one another he was sitting in a way where his shoulders were at my head level, so I had to look up to meet his gaze. But he was staring at the ground, a troubled frown on his beautiful face.

"Do you think I should blame you?" I asked turning back to look at my lap, turning my hands in my over to look at the scars there.

"I wouldn't fault you, if you did."

"Well," I took a long breath in and peeled my eyes away from looking at my palms and to look at the beautiful Alaskan landscape. "You didn't change either Wei or Zhan. And you have been hurt by their actions; they killed your friend-creator didn't they?"

"Zhan hadn't been born yet. But yes Wei had wanted revenge so… It doesn't make my cowardice any less of a crime."

A sad smile slid onto my face.

"It's not a crime to… to want to protect your loved ones." And maybe that's what Kenji and I had in common, in a way. I wanted to be changed so that I could fight Zhan before more people, including my family, got hurt, I didn't want to wait. It was breaking me slowly, thinking of how vulnerable it left me, and if I had an ability it would likely keep my family safe. Kenji wanted to fight Zhan and Wei but was holding back because his loved ones would want to fight with him. The same could be said of my family, they would want to fight if I was on the battle field. Hell, Emmett was training with Kenji, Garrett and Jasper daily. He was pumped and ready to kill some newborns and filthy werewolves.

"You truly love them enough to be willing to become one of us?"

"I love them enough to be willing to protect them anyway I can." Thinking about it I felt a lump in my throat. "They are the only… family I have, or will ever have. I was so alone for so long Kenji; I became used to not being loved, or cared for. There are times I remember not speaking for weeks because there was no point, there was no one that wanted to hear me speak. I can't let them get hurt. It would… I don't know what I would do. They saved me. They made me better," I hung my head slightly, feeling the beginning tingle of tears.

"I want to be changed." I finished quickly and clearly. Talking about what the Cullen's meant to me would likely put me on an emotional roller coaster.

"You were an orphan?"

I nodded. It felt nice to let him get to know me. It was like we were actually building a friendship.

There was a brief silence, and I wondered what he was thinking about so I glanced in his direction as I sat up, my emotions were coming back under check.

He still had a thoughtful pensive look, a small frown tilting his mouth. He wasn't looking at me, but rather the view.

"I have a proposal for you Evangeline, a sort of trade if you will. I am unsure how to phrase it, and have been told by your family, and have observed that you prefer a direct route. However," he took a bracing breath in as I turned fully towards him. Kenji was talking a trade? "This is a highly delicate and personal matter that which directness may be interpreted incorrectly."

Kenji's smooth deep voice drove the words home and I nodded again, encouraging him to continue. When he turned to look at me he slowly dropped to the spot next to me, I had to slide slightly on the rock to make room for him. My heart sped up in anticipation of his proposed trade.

"Am I correct in assuming that if your family was free from the pressures of the Volturi that you would be willing to be changed now?"

"Yes," I said. I was not convincing as my voice wavered slightly.

"You are making progress in overcoming much of the turmoil I saw when I first met you over a month ago. But I sense that… the stress of being so vulnerable and potentially useful to your family as a vampire is giving you stress?"

Snorting slightly I rolled my eyes at him.

"You read me like a book."

That earned me a half smile.

"I do like to read…" his smile widened.

Another pause in the conversation and I gave him an encouraging expression.

"We may be able to come to some sort of arrangement. And I don't want this proposal to alienate you. It is merely a way for me to offer us both something we desire."

My expression turned confused. What could I possibly offer Kenji in exchange of being changed? Could he even change me? Like vampire legally? I knew he was the leader of the Japanese Empire and the Volturi had no say on his actions as long as he kept his existence secret from humans, but could he go over their orders?

"You wish to be changed. As the leader of the Japanese coven I can adopt you into our ruling class. Something the other Japanese coven members would not like, but if you were to be a vegetarian or abide by our laws of feeding they will have to accept my decision. But in exchange," His whole expression and voice turned heavy and serious. "I would ask that you bear me something that I have yearned for, for many centuries."

Warning bells went off in my ears, as if my subconscious knew what I was about to hear him ask of me. But I couldn't actually put the pieces together.

"I would ask that you bear me a child."

.~.

We sat there, staring at one another for a long while. I was sure it had been at least ten minutes since he'd asked me to HAVE A CHILD with him. First I thought he was joking, then I thought it was cruel, then I was embarrassed, then I was intrigued, and I had worked through confused, overwhelmed, and was now sitting in a contemplative frame of mind.

Kenji was kindly and patiently waiting for me to respond. His words had long since floated away in the wind only leaving with me with a memory of him seriously asking me to give him a baby.

Correction, to have a baby with him… for him?

Why did he want a child so much? He had Ichiro. Or was Ichiro not his? Did he want a daughter? Why did he ask me? He could have easily just taken some random woman and had a child with her.

And as soon as I finished that thought I understood why he hadn't.

Kenji respected human life far too much to do that to a woman. He couldn't tell a woman what he wanted and propose the same thing to her, like he was proposing to me, because it would violate the law of keeping humans out of the loop.

Then I started wondering why I hadn't thought about having a hybrid child, ever. Ren was absolutely the kind of child I could stand. She had been so intelligent as an infant and the majority of the childish behaviors I hated she hadn't really ever exhibited. I was a human female. I was human and female. Surely if I was going to give anybody a child it would be Rose. She had always wanted one. Then I thought of the mechanics of that and I cringed. This action alarmed Kenji.

"Are you repulsed at the idea?" He sounded wounded.

I opened my mouth to correct him, but a vision of me swollen with a baby; like I had been five years ago had me snapping my mouth shut.

Was becoming a vampire, to save my family worth going through that again?

There were too many thoughts rapidly attacking my mind for consideration. Hanging my head I rested it in my cupped hands.

"I was just thinking of… why I hadn't thought of having a hybrid yet… I mean my sister Rosalie has always wanted a baby. But I never-then I thought about how that would-youknow-work." Kenji made a noise and I recognized it as him holding back an amused laugh.

"Incest?" he asked with a small bit of humor. I pivoted my head slightly to glare at him then went back to looking at the ground.

A baby.

Kenji wanted a baby.

"Why?" I asked finally.

"Why what?"

"Why everything Kenji? A baby? With me?" I could hear the accent dusting itself off as my voice grew louder.

"I have very few memories of my human life, would you look at me Evangeline?" He said bitterly, "It is rude not to look at someone when they are talking to you."

Slowly I obliged him. My mouth was firmly set into a pout, while inside my head I was being beaten with a rainbow of thoughts and questions. Holding all of them back was putting tremendous strain on me.

"The memories I have of my human life all involve my children. I had two daughters and a son when I was changed. Kaneyasu warned me of my newborn thirst, and I did not to return home to them. I waited five years before seeking them out. My eldest daughter had died sometime during that time. A few years later both my other children died. Leaving me with a feeling that… even in this life, like I could not care for them Evangeline. And I don't know how best to convey to you my love of them. My love of any child. There is no greater feeling than being a father. I love Ichiro and finding him was a blessing, but he is not my biological child." His golden eyes were tender and earnest.

"Since his birth I have wondered if I would ever find a human woman that might grant me the blessing of a child of my own."

He was blowing my mind with all this wanting to be a father stuff. I held up my left hand to have him halt, he hadn't even gotten to the 'why me' part of this and I was pretty sure where this was going.

"I think you're crazy, first of all, to even think that this is a good trade." I was on auto pilot, and my indignation took over. "You are asking me to bear you a child, that will rapidly grow inside my frail human body, rip its way out-" he opened his mouth to interrupt but I kept going, "out of my body, then you'd would change me and I would have to suffer three days of burning. It sounds like a month of literally hard labor."

After I took a breath and leveled him with a challenging stare his expression softened slightly. Calmly he explained about what his ability could do there. He would make a scalpel for Carlisle from vampire teeth, much like the sword he'd brought with him this time. I'd only seen the sword just after getting to Alaska before all of the vampires wanted to go off and practice with it. The result was enough firewood for the entire population of Anchorage for a good long winter.

The scalpel would be able to easily cut through the vampire-skin like placenta. Kenji also told me that with Edwards stories of being able to hear Ren days before she was 'born' let Kenji believe that as soon as Edward heard anything from the fetus it would be time to give me a c-section.

He had really thought this all well out. I couldn't actually blame him though. He had centuries to think on this, and he had a perfect opportunity with me. And what else was he to plan on over his mate-less centuries than to plan on an eventual child to raise and love?

It was completely like an out of body experience. Kenji talked about the plan for me to bear him a child, how it would work, and I just floated above my own body watching my blank, pale face stare back at him.

This was preposterous. The whole idea. Firstly having a baby-been there, done that, no thank you.

Secondly, ew. Bella had been in love with Edward so I could see her wanting to do the horizontal tango with him. But their bodies were hard and frigid, my woman parts constricted at the very thought of something cold going in there, then again I wasn't entirely sure Kenji was thinking the baby would be made the traditional way. Certainly with three doctors in my family, if I wanted to do this, they could find an alternative.

"Kenji, you just told me that you have been putting off going after Zhan and Wei because of Ichiro and Shizuka. It doesn't seem like a good idea to bring a baby into all of this."

He was ready with an answer and he rolled his shoulders slightly as if he knew I would mention that.

"If I were to die, if we were to die, I would want a small piece of me to live on. A small piece of you."

I closed my eyes tightly, trying hard not to dig up the buried emotions of the baby that was now five years old.

"But its parents would be dead. Who would raise it then?"

"It would greatly depend on who is left, if anyone. But for the battle I would hope that Renessmee would be willing to care for the baby."

She would too. Ren would totally go ga-ga over another hybrid. The pack would protect it too.

Even though I was still completely shocked by his proposal, I could see the good parts to this plan. I would finally be a vampire, and with some kick ass ability too. The Volturi would have no say in the matter, and likely if I was powerful enough they wouldn't dare threaten my family into joining their guard.

But I would be a mum, to a baby that I wouldn't necessarily want to give away.

I really had to think about his offer before I told him to go eat a rock. So we sat there, again in near silence, for a long while. We both were watching the sun slowly close in on the horizon. I was thinking a million things due to his offer.

But one thought stood out among many. It was one that had me nearing tears, and the feeling folded into itself and brought up other painful thoughts.

Kenji was just another person that wanted to use me.

Like my family had.

Like Mr. Golswiki had.

And right then, just as the sun merged with the edge of the land, I desperately missed Seth.

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