I do not own Ore-Imo in any shape or fashion. I am a huge fan of the series and the themes involved. This is my first time writing for an audience so please leave productive comments and reviews after you're done reading.

Side note: I will typically not be using Japanese words in my fics, such as "Oni-chan, nii-san, etc"

Kyousuke

"It's going to be lonely, ya know." I say as I lean back into our couch feeling weary. "I mean, being left alone…all by myself. Everyone's always abandoning meeee." I sigh out with exaggeration.

"It's only two weeks you dork." Kirino exclaims as she places her hands on her hips. "Besides, you're a grown man, aren't you?" She teases before sitting down next to me and resting her head on my shoulder.

"I'm just going to miss you is all. We haven't been apart this long in a while." I murmur back as I let some of my opinions go and hold her hand. "But this is a huge step after all. Ever since we've been here you've been working your butt off, so it's nice to see results."

"Yeah," I don't so much feel her shrug physically, but you could hear it in the tone of her voice. "But, I'll be lonely too."

We've been here in England now for over a year and some change, and it's the first week of August. Time flows endlessly onward, no matter how much we want to stop and preserve it. Ever since that Christmas last year we've made great strides within our individual goals. Sure she always has done her best in everything she's done, but maybe seeing her old friends again lit a fire under her and gave her some motivation. My days had continued to be busy, with Rastin riding me into the dirt whenever a deadline came up. I've begun school, though most if it is done via correspondence and online instruction instead of a sit down class. My program is only slated to last three years, which is if I buckle down and focus on my work.

Now though, Kirino has been offered an excellent opportunity, one that she's both afraid of and excited for. She has been scouted again as an international model within the company, this time going to other countries for shows, demonstrations, and events. Although Eternal Blue, as a company, is a vendor for jewelry and clothing, the models under them have portfolios of work that garner worldwide attention within the fashion community.

With the sheer quantity and quality of work Kirino has put out in the last few years she's been the topic of conversation regarding new contracts multiple times. Although she's signed with Eternal Blue, she can be granted special dispensation to work with, but not for, other agencies. This is one of those times, and apparently Mr. Christopher had pushed this new assignment to Kirino figuring that she could handle it.

With this assignment she would be heading to Spain, Portugal, France, and Italy before finally coming home after a showing. If Kirino does well with this she could be considered a bona-fide globetrotting model.

"Well, you'll have the other models there at least." I reassure her after a few seconds. "That and we can talk every night before you go to bed. Whatever you need." I wrap my arms around her as I shift my body around.

"Mmm." She nods in contentment. This girl has greatly evolved over the last few years. She's sweeter, gentler, and fixated with becoming a better person every day. I feel like this has always been the real Kirino and that it just never had a chance to surface till her feelings could be reconciled. I remember days of abuse and contempt. Yet those memories are beginning to fade, and are slowly being replaced with those of love and affection.

"Are you packed and ready?" I ask after enjoying the moment a little while longer.

"As ready as I'll get, though I need to put the finishes on the packing part." She sighs and begins to rise from the couch. "I might as well get finished up, we leave early tomorrow morning. " She helps me off the couch as I offer my hand.

"I'll give you a hand then." I offer as I begin to gently push her toward the stairs. "That way we can enjoy the rest of the night together without worry." She gives in with slight giggle and takes me firmly by the hand.

"Oh, you'll give me a hand alright." She beams devilishly before dragging me into the bed room roughly. Kissing me was quickly followed by her wrapping me up in her arms and legs. For at least the next while we, decidedly, did not pack.

Hot and sweaty we still snuggled up close together, although I did turn on the ceiling fan in an attempt to keep us cool. Sweaty and clammy skin is not the most pleasing thing to be immersed in. Yet aftercare is important, that and I do love the feeling after we are intimate. It's the most peaceful I've ever felt, as if the entirety of the world's problems have been solved.

"So what do you want to do when you get back?" I ask after minutes of silence and slow breathing fill the void. Kirino nestles in deeper to me before answering.

"I don't know. Maybe we can take a vacation? I mean we haven't had a real one yet, if you don't count Christmas last year." I nod and mull over the idea.

"Some place tropical?" I ask after a few more moments tick by.

"I am partial to warmer climates, within reason of course."

"Well…it is fall, so it would be out of tourist season in most places so we can think on it." I say as I begin to idly run fingers through her hair.

"You could buy me a new swim suit too." She says brightening up from the stupor she's trying to resist.

"Why, what's wrong with the one you have now?" I ask realizing my mistake as I said it.

"Each swim suit is only good for the season it was released or bought, every year a fashionable young lady such as me has to have a new one every cycle or I'll lose any self-respect I have as a model." She says perching her chin on my chest, a wide and beautiful grin spread over her face. Her tousled hair and flushed cheeks make her all the more breathtaking.

"Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?" I ask as I reach up to her face and gently caress her cheek. The reaction began immediately but increased in waves.

"Wh..at? What are saying all of a sudden…so seriously?" Her eyes shifted as her face flushed more, "Saying things like that to me, what are you trying to do?" She huffs and settles down a bit, though I can see the happiness this small piece of affection can bring her. "Well if you really think that, maybe I can use my old one too, that is if you really like it?" I nod and smile and I hug her to me again.

"We can get a new one too, after all: you are a fashionable young lady. You need to keep up with the latest trends." I laugh inwardly. I also save that picture of Kirino in my mind, a perfect capture of her bearing being lost.

"So tropical…" She begins after a few seconds. "Any ideas?"

We spent the rest of the time making loose and ephemeral plans for a possible vacation. We also talked anime and games, as well as let my little sister gush all over me about the newest little sister harem game she got. That is a very strange event to be common place.

Eventually we had to get back up and get dressed. Not to mention help Kirino finish packing for her trip. There was not too much left as far as that was concerned, as she said earlier. It was mostly just clothes, toiletries, and the odds and ends she'd be taking with her for entertainment.

"Oh yeah, while I'm gone," She starts as she turns from her suitcase with her finger pointed at me in her old fashion pose. "I have a new game downloaded I want your opinion on by the time I get back. Two weeks should be plenty of time, even if you have work."

"Oh, what's the name?" I say back beginning to embrace the fact my free time will always be taken up by something or another.

"Me and the Little Sister Brigade," She says happily. "Its seriously good, you'll thank me later."

"Ok, I promise." I say as I pat her head in compliance.

"Seriously though, each girl is the main characters little adoptive sister, except only one is blood related, and they go around hunting monsters and…" She trails off as she catches me smiling. "What?"

"Nothing, you're just so cute."

Dinner was fast and uneventful, followed by television and streamed anime from a device we bought called a Roca, or whatever they're called. We retired to bed early, where we both had the very difficult task of getting some rest before the next day. Whether it was nerves, or subliminally wanting to spend as much time as possible together, it was near impossible to fall asleep. Yet in time we yielded to sleeps call.

The next morning I awoke to Kirino moving about the room. I stretched and yawned as I began the process of booting my mental computer. I was lucky and took the day off work so as to see my darling sister off, as by now I'd have to be leaving for work myself. So instead I casually watch Kirino get dressed, admiring the view of a young and shapely model before she puts all of her clothes on. Good god I'm lucky.

Speaking of work though, Rastin and Mr. Christopher haven't mentioned the whole episode regarding the relation between Kirino and me again. Although I have a sense that they know something is up they keep their mouths shut if they don't feel it actually concerns them. Rastin isn't looking to be a father figure, and Mr. Christopher has his own children to care about. So that's at least one less thing to worry about.

"Morning", I say as I finally let her on the fact I'm awake.

"Good morning." She says back as she places her heart shaped earrings in. In fact those were the ones I bought years ago, on our first Christmas date.

"What time are you heading out?" I ask as I roll over to look at the clock. 8:13.

"In about an hour or so, a little less." She shrugs as she comes over to me and kisses my forehead.

"I'll run down and make breakfast then." I say as I get up and stretch my legs.

"No need." She says as she pushes me gently back down into the bed. "I already made it."

"Really?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes." She says, again placing hands on her bare hips. "Now go down and eat while I finish up. I can't very well get dressed with you leering at me."

I shrug an agreement at that as I lurch back up. I thought of pouncing on her and showing her how right she was, but my better judgment took over and I decided to head down and see what she made this morning. Once I exit the upstairs I could smell the food, and did it ever get me drooling. Kirino used to be terrible in the kitchen, but within the last few months she's slowly been cooking more and more, and getting better all the for it. In fact we've split cooking duty almost down the middle, with me cooking four out of seven days a week. Though her recipes are almost always Japanese dishes, she improves every time.

For breakfast this morning she made something that reminds me of home immensely: miso soup, grilled fish with added bonito flakes, rice porridge, and pickled vegetables (mostly radishes) as a side. Whenever we had breakfast as a family we ate like this. It was a nice reminder of exactly where we came from, and also where we are. About halfway through the meal Kirino came bounding down the stairs fully dressed. I hid my disappointment at not seeing more of her anymore. She was styled for effect today, her hair and makeup perfect, nails manicured just a few days back, and her style on point with an earthy toned autumn dress fitting an angel.

"You look stunning." I say after swallowing a mouth full of food. "Dressed to kill."

"You know it." She says smirking. "I have to impress the scouts from other agencies at the events. Although I'm with Eternal Blue for now, in another four years or so I'm a free agent again. If other agencies start to compete for me it'll force Eternal Blue to either negotiate a better contract for me, or let me go."

"Huh. I didn't think of all that." I said, although I had considered the possibility of Kirino leaving the agency after her contract was up.

"Well, someone needs to be the brains around here. Might as well be the one with beauty as well." She laughs at her own joke inelegantly.

We enjoy moments like these; of peace and happiness. These moments that I can actually see us become something more than the children who ran off into the night. It's not long before Kirino has to leave though, and it's more a little saddening to get her stuff together in the entry way. Mr. Christopher usually charters bus to take the ladies and staff to the airport together. I wanted to meet them al there but I was politely told I would be in the way. Plus, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of Kirino making new modeling friends.

"Please be careful, and call me at night to let me know you're okay please." I say after I give her a gentle kiss as to not smear her lipstick.

"I will." She says with a smile, trying to be strong for the both of us. "You be careful yourself, don't work too hard please." I nod at her as she grabs her suitcase before opening the door.

"I love you Kirino." I say trying my best to sound like a man, inadequately might I add.

"I love you too…onii-chan." She says beaming at me past the open door, her frame highlighted against the sky.

It's been a day since she's left and I'm already bored out of my mind. The rest of that day was spent cleaning the house and looking at airfare prices on my phone. I went into work this morning, and after a few hours was told to go home by Rastin, as he said I looked like I could use a day or two of rest. I didn't want to admit it, but he's right. I feel exhausted, and maybe that's because I feel alone at home.

Kirino called me last night to check in with me, making sure I was alright as well. We talked for a bit before she had to turn in for the night herself. She has early shoot with professional studio photographers, so she needed to get her beauty sleep. She seemed really excited though, like she had some pep to her step again.

So finally, it's come to playing games. I would never openly admit this to Kirino, at least not right now, but I've started to enjoy the games on their own merit. I've even seen some online I wouldn't mind playing without Kirino pointing them out. Either the girls are cute or the themes are nice, doesn't really matter. Though I'm torn on which genre I would actually prefer. Kirino got me hooked on little sister themed games, but I never know what switch might be flipped I was to purchase one myself. Maids? Cat-girls? Elf-girls? You never know.

Well, whatever. What game did she say to play again? I forget the name, but she said it was new, so just find the new game. It's not like I memorized her laptop desktop screen, but I should find it if I click around enough. I plop into the couch with Kirino's laptop in hand and begin to make myself comfortable. After everything is booted up I critically examine the contents of the desktop and attempt to remember back to the last time I had seen it and compare it to its current form. All of the cute anime girl faces used for icons swirls together however.

After five empty minutes, with me fruitlessly moving the mouse in circles, I begin to feel irritated at my lack of progress. One icon chad held my eye this entire time though. I didn't know she had a Meruru game, when did she install that? It seems familiar but I would think I would remember playing that as well. I'd feel weird watching a fictional character I feel I know being the center of attention in one of 'these' games, but now that I think on it I believe that Kirino said the game was Me-something or another. So could be short for Meruru I guess.

I double click the icon to start the game, and instead I'm brought to a large folder filled with dozens of text documents. I think for a second it must be part of the game before I realize it's simply an icon change for an organizational folder. I open a random file before I think too hard about what they could contain and am subsequently greeted with a written document. I skim the first few lines before I realize what this is. It's Kirinos' diary. A secret place to write down her thoughts no one could see, just so she could get them out. A girls most sacred and secret place to store secrets.

"Oops. Sorry Kirino." I say out loud to the otherwise empty house. I begin to close out of the document, in a panic after realizing what it is, when some words catch my eye. My name with other key words to our relationship, not to mention a few swears. Of course I would be in her diary, with everything that's happened to us both, but with these words I felt something inside of me give in and I began to read.

-That idiot, why can't he see? Why can't he see what he's doing to me every day that he doesn't speak to me, that he's not the person I remember anymore? Kyousuke, why are you so aggravating, it pisses me off so much that you are this way now. You do nothing, say nothing, and feel nothing for me. What do I do with this frustrating feeling?"-

It went on like this for a bit, much of it more ranty than coherent. That make sense though, she wasn't expecting anyone to read it after all. I close out of it after skimming a few more lines and open another, this time one further down the line.

-What is this? Why do I feel this way now, after all this time? Was it admiration that mutated into this twisted and disgusting feeling? Or was this always here, these dirty thoughts? I remember as a kid being so jealous of Manami being tutored by my brother I wanted to cry, but I chalked that up to a girlhood crush. Yet when I listen to the recording I made years ago, the one I made to reconfirm the feelings I had then, it settles this is me, and always been me. Maybe I pushed it down deep, using modeling and track and grades as an escape, but its true and I have to admit it to myself before I do anything else. I love someone I can't in a way that I can't. It's unhealthy and dangerous, and there is nothing I can do about it. Just cry and hate myself…and him.

Would he accept me after everything that I've said? That I did to him? He's helped me with my other secret, my shameful hobby. If he knew this however what would he say? That I'm hopeless and disgusting? Or worse, a cold and apathetic look that he couldn't care less. It's not his anger or disgust I fear, but his indifference.-

I skim down and pick a few more sentences to read over, but this one seems to be written sometime during the process we had made up, but weren't quite friendly yet. Also, what recording is she talking about? Best to only peek into one secret at a time Kyousuke; don't pursue that further. I close this one too and pick one even further down the line, though this one is mostly filled with cataloging eroge and a shopping trip with Ayase.

It takes me a few minutes to locate another one with information I'm looking for.

-I said it to him today, both to him and that…stupid black cat. I confessed that I don't want him dating anyone else; that I can't stand to think of him with another woman. That I have to be his number one. Kuroneko managed to worm that confession from me in public, all of all times, and now I feel as if it needed to be said finally. I can only blame so much on his denseness; some has to fall on my shoulders for not being fully honest as well. I feel as though almost all of the problems we have can be solved by talking to each other. Yet with this we made a promise to each other that touched me with a tinge of hope for the first time in years. That neither of us would date someone until the other was fine with it. Truly fine and not just for each other's sake.-

I fish for another, now fully committed to reading my sisters thoughts. It is an invasion of privacy, and I have no doubts about the wrongness of my actions here. Honestly I need to know really only one thing. When I look at Kirino, when she doesn't know it, I sometimes see a sadness I can't identify. She's had it as long as I can remember, so I know it has nothing to do with her work or hobbies. I also know that confronting her with inquires would only cause her to wave it off or blame it on lack of sleep. As scummy as it is to snoop, I feel that this falls within the realm of good intentions.

-I'm falling apart at the seams. I've finally said it to myself. I've finally accepted the feelings I have for him are deeper than that of a normal sibling, and are of the type that I view him as a man. Not a brother. How do I tell him that the thought of another touching me sickens me to my core? How do I tell him that the thought of another woman touching him depresses and infuriates me in equal measure? How do I make him love me too? Do I deserve for him to love me like I love him? The only thought in my head lately is that my feelings are not only shameful and disgusting, like Manami told me years ago, but that they are also incredibly one sided. Manami, that bitch. All I need to do to refocus myself is to think of that day I was left crying at her declaration. One day, maybe one day my feelings will get through. And maybe one day we can be happy together.-

Okay, this is obviously before they made up. I'm not sure if that grudge will ever completely heal. I continue sorting through them before I find another suitable entry.

-I feel like I'm dreaming every day. He felt the same way all this time, the same as me. The heartache and depression I felt was worth it in the end. We confessed to each other, kissed each other, and finally began something…real. I don't know if I can be the kind of girl that deserves someone so devoted and selfless. Someone so caring and kind. Someone who only thinks of me. I don't know what I feel when we touch, when we kiss and hold each other tightly. It's overwhelming. However, when we are alone together and we can be a true couple, if just for a moment, my heart and mind are so full of him that I don't want to let him go.

I don't know what to do with these emotions anymore. The only guilt I feel is that I keep this a secret from others and that we go behind our parents' backs. I've loved this man since my childhood though, and so no amount of guilt will let me give him up.

I think of us living together, older and married. I would cook his breakfast for him every day, and his dinner every night. I would want to cuddle with him at night watch anime and laugh at our senseless sense of humor. When I think of this future though I begin to doubt and sadden. As siblings, full blood siblings, there is no law where we could be legally married. It pains me, that although my feelings are real, other won't see it as such.-

Kirino… I never knew you felt so strongly about me. You devoted yourself so totally to me and everything that we do. Perhaps it's because of your stubborn pride; perhaps it's because of your inability to communicate your thoughts and feelings well, either way it doesn't matter. Reading this make me love and cherish the girl all the more.

-I'm so happy I don't know to do with myself. It's been awhile since I've written in you, I know. But I wasn't feeling the need lately to do this sort of thing. You used to be a place to vent frustrations and anger, now you're a catalouge to my life. The evolution of where I started and what I became. All of our friends know and accept us for who we are, or at least won't condemn us. Kyousuke and I were 'together' for the first time as well. I was so nervous, but I was also resolute. We get together as often as we are able, even if it's just to spend time together. We have to watch it of course, as we never know when someone we don't want to know about us is around. Yet I am truly happy.

I am afraid though too. I know that this bliss won't last forever. Something will come along and wreck it all for us. Something will either tear us apart or make us decide what's important to each other. I have no idea what will happen, or when. I can't help but think though: If I was any other girl than his sister no one would complain. If we were just a boy and girl…if we could be married no one would care, no one would hate us or…feel ashamed of us.-

I'm in the future, so I know what's going to happen. I know then that something happening was also a guarantee. Every day we went undiscovered it improved the odds of the truth finally coming out. I felt the dread of the looming future, but also the bliss of the present with her by my side. A few more entries then I'll stop.

-This is too much, just too much. I've lost almost everything I've ever had in my life and now I'm a world away from almost everything I love. Almost everything I've come to know is now gone…and I'm the only one to blame. I knew it would happen, because of that I kept Misaki on standby for if I wanted to accept her offer finally and leave for England. She was patient with me, and because of her now Kyousuke and I are safe. For the moment at least we can be safe.

I can't believe what happened that night, what came over everyone. Our father, usually the picture of stoicism, lost his mind at my brother. It was all a blur, all a ridiculous blur of fists and screaming. We all crossed lines that night, too many if I was ever asked. Forgiveness would need to be given from all sides before this ever heals. I won't lie to you though Meruru, as what's the point of it? I miss my mom and dad. More than I thought I would. I miss their voices and laughter. Our meal times together and the presence of family.

It's something I've traded though. I've burned one bridge to simply clear the path for another. Kyousuke is right by my side, and will always be. I am incredibly insecure in our relationship, but if there is one thing I know: he loves me just as much as I love him. He left his friends and our parents behind as well, so he's given up just as much as I have. In fact it may be more. He can never live his quiet and contented life now; it's been traded for one with me.

We left behind the one gift I was treasuring the most from my birthday. That stupid wedding certificate that was gifted by Mikigami. It obviously would never be accepted at a courthouse, being the sibling obstacle and all, but still…It was a nice piece of heaven that I wish I still had.-

I'm beginning to notice a trend within many of these entries. She laments us being siblings only in the fact we cannot be married. She mentions it in several of the ones I've skimmed over as well, though they were mostly passing fantasy weddings and dreams. Things I chalked up to her just being a girl. But now it hits a little hard in my heart knowing that this one thing, this one normal thing that everyone else can have, isn't something I can reasonably fix. That this is something we may have to live with.

-Ruri and Saori left a few weeks ago. I feel much more alone that I thought I would. All of the friends I've made at my school and at work now seem so shallow. They seem so devoid of what makes the relationship I share with those two girls special. I of course I miss Ayase, Kanako, and the others, but I feel these two in particular have influenced my life heavier than I ever would have thought before. They pulled me up, they jerked me awake, and the set me down. No one else could have accomplished those things. So now after seeing them face to face again, emails and texts just don't have the same punch anymore.

I do my best to cheer up though. I'm just going to redouble my effort at modeling. After seeing Ruri go after her dream of becoming a famous mangaka I have to not lose sight of any of my own goals. I witnessed Kyousuke himself even tear up a bit when they left and have noticed him also redouble his efforts with the beginning of the semester. Whether that's because of a need to prove something to himself, or just to keep busy I leave up to him.

Yet I still think of going home; to Japan, to my city again, to see my parents and tell them I'm sorry for how things turned out and that I still love them and want them to love me back. That their acceptance of me, and Kyousuke, would be the only thing in life I would ever ask of them. I'm not stupid though. I know that day will never come. If, for nothing else, the fact that their children are in love with each other.

So I don't know what to think, what to feel, what to do for our future. We will be together, and for that I have no regrets, but I fear our future will be empty aside from each other. That more will be taken from us as time goes on. I just fear a story like ours has no happy ending.-

Dammit. I wipe at my eyes to clear my vision and calm my breathing to regain composure. I wish I didn't feel what she does about these things, but I do. I feel them as I read them here. I scold myself for not seeing this sooner. She's still a teenage girl, granted seventeen, but still. The fact she suffered all of these thoughts alone is testament to her stubbornness in of itself. That's part of my job woman, to be there for you when you need it.

Really though, she believes we have no happy ending? She thinks that the end for us to simply be alone together? Are we fated to end tragically, or with a bittersweet finale? Not if I have a damn say about it. I place her laptop gently on the sofa next to me as the feelings of grief are replaced by slight annoyance and my deep-rooted sense of determination.

"No happy ending, huh?" I say out loud now. Hearing my own voice helps to jolt my dormant mechanisms spiral to life. "No happy ending." I murmur again as I shake my head to clear the listlessness I've gathered over all this time. I then begin to feel the old gears sputtering to life. These are the same gears that activated when I got dad to accept Kirino's hobby despite his righteousness. The same gears that made Ayase and Kirino make up and stay friends despite Kirinos' hobby, and the sacrificial lamb that was my reputation. The same gears that had me fly to America to take her home when she wasn't herself, and the same gears that lead us to be together after all that time wasted. They are covered in dust now, as I haven't needed to be that guy in a long while now. But they aren't corroded just yet, and ideas, only half baked yet, begin to form.

If I had a proclivity for anything, nay a superpower, it would be that I have a habit of making terrible plans work out in the end. My talent would be taking the logical solution, throwing it out the metaphorical window, and exchanging it with my own more spectacular version. And somehow it all works out, even if I become mildly inconvenienced as a result.

Yet my comfort means nothing if I can't keep happy the one person in my life I feel deserves it more than anyone. I swore to protect her, to myself, and dad long ago. I swore to never make her regret the choices that we made together, now it's time for me to make good on that promise.

"No happy ending." I whisper again to myself reaching for my phone on the side table next to me. "Really now, just who do you think I am?" I chuckle to myself as a challenge is mentally accepted. I stand and begin to pace in a small circle around our living room in an attempt to help my brain process the new, and absurd, ideas. I sort through my contacts and finally find Rastins number and dial it. The phone rings only a few times before he answers.

"Hello, Mathers speaking." He answers; the Brit's tone one brooking a quick delivery of whatever I called him for.

"Hey Rastin, it's Kyousuke." I say quickly. "Remember that time off you promised me last Christmas? I need a favor."

AN: I know I update very infrequently. Sorry about that. I get busy and lazy, really no good excuses. So sorry that this is taking so dang long. Please leave a review if you can, and PM me with any questions. Thanks for reading and I'll continue to try and finish this up.