Killian opens one eye to...Granny's. The back hall with its chessboard floor and the humming lights that bathe everything in an absurdly yellow, almost green, light. He becomes aware of Swan's head shifting against his back, her chin pointing into him as she must be opening her eyes and surveying what her magic's done.
"That actually worked," she breathes into his back. He ought to hold his breath at the sensation, but, regardless of who handles it, a veil still exists between him and his heart. Her arms finally let loose and she comes around to face him, tucking her lips into her mouth and staring at his heart in her hands like she could burn a hole through it. "You couldn't tell me, right? So...the acting differently, the stuff with your hand...?"
"By the time I was going to tell you, I couldn't," he says, cutting his own apology short as he notes both his eyes and hers are veering down to the heart, shining brighter by the second, wiping the black wisps inside it aside. They have nowhere to go, but it gleams such a brilliant shade of red it obscures them.
"We should..." She heaves her shoulders in an exaggerated fashion while thrusting her hands forward, gesturing putting it back in, he supposes. For anything else, his normal state would find it amusing.
"All yours," he says. Squaring his shoulders, he positions himself head-on, forcing the corners of his mouth to form a grin. Easier now.
"Well, it's been a while since I've opened an anatomy book," she trails off, voice shaking. "I mean, what if it goes into a lung? Or..." Her eyebrows come together, her head cocking just so, like she's listening to something only she can hear. All he can hear at the moment is the steady thumping that is bound to be a constant source of comfort once this is all over as he had been so close to never hearing it again. Reading her, she looks more resolved now, like something's whispered words in her ear that have pushed the reservations out of her head.
"Okay. Ready?" she asks. He's been ready ever since he'd first seen it beating outside his body.
"Just be gen-" He grunts. She's slammed it into him, harder than any punch to the gut.
"Sorry," she says as he opens his eyes. Swan. Emma! Amazing, wonderful Emma. His Savior, his air, his love...he crashes into her, kissing her with only his hand on the back of her head to soften the blow of slamming her into the wall. The rush of his blood, his veins on fire—it might as well be their very first kiss, all over again. Gods, she's melting into him, her hand flush with his chest and sloping downward around his waist. This is the way it should be, what he never thought would take his breath away again...their foreheads and noses rubbing against each other, taking in the same air. She'd woken his very soul up for the second time. Bloody hell, she does it every blessed time he lays eyes on her...
"I told you, Swan. I'm a survivor," he breathes, savoring how she'd chased his lips just now. She loves him. The way she's speechless and just gazing up at him, mirroring the adoration he's sure he's laying on her since he needs to make up for lost time—Swan just smiles, smiles away, so he kisses her again, teeth scraping against each other they've both got their mouths so wide. Words never come, only smile after smile, into her lips, into her cheeks, and she's doing the same thing whilst entwining his necklace around her fingers, brushing the hollow of his throat...
"Hi, I, I'm really sorry to interrupt," comes a voice. Opening his eyes, he loosens his grip on her waist at the sight of Snow standing in the threshold with one eye on them and the other focusing in on a spot on the floor. "This really couldn't wait and, and are you okay?"
The touch of her hand on his arm, genuine concern on her face, and he forgives her. He meets her eyes and grins at her, sure to make it a devilishly handsome one, but he sees she still looks a tad frazzled.
"It's just...I just heard from Belle...she's banished Gold and sent him over the town line."
"He...can't come back in," Swan utters, her eyes wide. "And he can't do magic." He pulls her back to him as she stifles a laugh. She might think it bad form to laugh, but not him. They're as free of him as they are of every other villain they've faced together. Oh, he got his exit all right, the crocodile. So determined to have both his power and Belle and now he has neither, thus ensuring he can't go after Swan again, can't leave her beloved town to die, can't hurt anyone. He notices Swan's hand lies flat across his chest.
"Well," Snow heaves, stepping closer to them, then backtracking and shifting so as to go back out into the diner. "I'll just, just leave you to it then. Thought you should know."
"Yeah, yeah, it's big news," Swan says. He'd call it humoring her, but no one could deny the significance of that news.
"Killian. I'm glad you're okay." Snow strokes his arm once more and departs, and with Swan watching her go, he can creep up closer to her and pin her against the wall again.
"Leroy could learn a thing or two from her, you know, dispensing important news so quickly and concisely," he whispers into his ear, almost cutting himself off in order to kiss her temple. A soft sigh answers him, so he bends down and kisses her jaw. His heart pounds loud and at a furious speed. To think mere minutes ago it had almost all come to an end, one lonely frightening end, and then Belle had emerged out of the shadows and, and...he's alive because of her. He breaks away from Swan, only about an inch away, knitting his brow. Every breath he draws, every kiss he's able to give, he owes to the woman he shot.
"Swan," he murmurs. "I need to go see her."
"I know." She's reading him, he thinks, cocking his head. Or not. No, she's not. Rather, she's memorizing. He hasn't been allowed to remember how much he loves the way her eyelashes flutter when she's smitten, and he hasn't even done anything to surprise her this time. If there is any time he wants to hear the thoughts that overwhelm her so much, this would be it. He positions himself so his forehead rests back down on hers.
"What, love?"
"Can we meet back here? Take an hour and then maybe talk? We should talk." She nods in affirmation at herself.
"An hour then," he agrees.
Only Belle would run away to the library and shelve books in a numerical order to calm herself. She doesn't even hear him enter, she's so absorbed in each spine, emitting a throaty sound when her fingers trace the books and stumble upon a mistake. She cares for the books with her right hand, her left one supporting her weight, the glint of a wedding ring still on one of the fingers.
"Belle?"
Her mouth drops open, flashbacks of another time the two of them "interacted" in here, he's sure. Closing his eyes, he decides to block out how short she is and how effortless it had been to strike her into unconsciousness so long ago.
"Belle, what you did today...you saved my life, and that means I owe you a debt. I...don't know what it's worth to you, but from this day on, you have my loyalty and my services should you ever need them, and I'm sorry for everything you've had to endure." From both him and me, he thinks, swallowing. "I'm sorry for everything."
She blinks and her bottom lip falls open, trembling before it catches itself. Facing him head-on, the tears welling in her eyes outshine the jewel in her ring, so much so it looks as though she'll cry if she attempts to speak. It's not as though he deserves a response, or anything, from her, for that matter. If there exists no other way to prove his sincerity than to leave her alone, that's what he'll do, but it feels wrong. She should be surrounded by those who care about her now, and...perhaps he's one of them.
"Hook, Killian. Thank you. You shouldn't have had to go through everything you did." Wiping her eyes, she snaps her head back to the books.
"Are you going to be all right?"
"My father's on his way and Ruby and I are meeting for breakfast tomorrow if that's what you mean," she says, forcing herself to smile. It broadens into a more believable one as she crosses over to the counter. She disappears behind it, bending down with the sounds of her fumbling around for something following. "I'm going to try to undo everything Rumple did, starting with releasing the fairies out of that hat-"
"I'll help you every step of the way," he promises, eyeing a small blue vial she holds in both hands.
"Thank you, but for now, you should be with loved ones, too. If you want, you can take this with you. I always kept a few of Rumple's potions here, in case something ever happened to the shop. It's just a simple sleeping potion, but, more importantly, it's for a dreamless sleep. Just one night only." She holds it out to him, and his mouth falls open in spite of himself. How many nights has it been since he's slept? And slept without worry? No, do the honorable thing, he orders himself. The nightmares she could have tonight...
"You need that more than I do," he argues.
"No, no, I want you to have it." Her face takes on a mock sternness, her pursed lips the most obvious clue she's being playful. "Please, Killian. People who go through hell deserve a proper night's rest."
He takes it from her, clasping her hand as she turns it over to him and placing a kiss on her knuckles.
His shower occupies the rest of the hour, the lather from the soap washing away Rumpelstiltskin's filth. The steaming water brings to the forefront the realization his limbs feel like boneless anchors, along with his eyelids. He rubs his hand over his face when he towels off, not even bothering to wipe the moisture off the mirror. The flannel checked trousers Granny had given him for sleeping render his legs immobile, so warm and so soft when the fabric grazes his shins. He plops down onto his bed and opens just one eye to peer at the vial Belle had given him, sitting atop his table next to the room's phone and his hook, its harness slung over the lamp. Truth be told, part of him fears taking it even though his body craves the uninterrupted oblivion it promises. Gods know he can't achieve that on his own right now. Every time his eyes fall shut, which is often, too many images play against his closed lids. On his stomach, he shifts just enough to tuck his hand underneath his chest to check that the steady heartbeat is still there.
He's left the door unlocked for Emma, so he doesn't flinch at the sound of the knob turning, merely flips his head to the other side so he can see her. She's draped her jacket over her arm so she can carry one of the white containers he's seen behind Granny's counter when people want to take their food with them.
"Where'd you go?" he asks, half the question going into his blanket. With an amused smile, she kicks off her boots and hops onto the other side of the bed and folds her hands in her lap.
"Apparently Henry and Regina have been pretty busy lately, but that can wait. I thought of a question for you."
"The answer is yes," he jokes, wondering if he should roll over, but he's so drained. Instead, he feels her hand on his shoulder blade, so warm he almost considers her magic is at play, sliding down his arm to his stump of a wrist.
"Whose idea was it to get your hand back? That's what led to all this, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Did Gold suggest it or did you ask him for it?"
"Neither, darling, I blackmailed him into giving it back to me," he admits, refraining from adding on "because I'm a bloody idiot." That part he deems rather self-explanatory. He doesn't hear anything from her for a moment, and then a faint ethereal "I'm sorry."
"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?" he asks her
"If you think you need that, or anything else you don't have, to, to be with me," she stammers, her swallow so audible it fills the room. "Then I haven't made it very clear how much... Look, I don't care about that kind of stuff, and...I'm really not good at this...the next time you get all insecure about that, I want you to just imagine my voice saying 'don't do it,' okay?" He opens his mouth to tell her how easy her request will prove to be, but she continues. "I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know what. And then the night at that house...that's when it all really kicked off, didn't it? You were so different and I couldn't understand why."
"Someone being controlled by another possessing their heart shouldn't be the first thing to come to mind," he says.
"It's Storybrooke. That kind of shit is exactly the first thing that should come to mind," she sighs.
"Emma, my own pride and...doubts were responsible for my predicament, and they came this close to being responsible for you being sucked up in that hat. Had I been more open with you, you would have known not to trust the crocodile in the first place." It all had sounded more eloquent spoken over the phone, he thinks with a groggy inner voice. Now that confession was nothing more.
"So." She swallows again, her hand working its way back up so it rests on the top of his backbone. "We're, we're going to make this work, right? I...I want to make this work."
He closes his eyes, savoring the words, savoring the touch. Summoning a little ounce of strength, he twists so he can hold her hand. All he'd ever wanted and he'd almost lost it for fear of losing it. Irony.
"What's that?" she asks after a pause, her head tilting in the direction of the vial.
"Oh, that. That, love, is a gift from Belle that has the potential to knock me right out for a few hours."
"Ambien's just too ordinary, I guess," she mutters to herself. "Did you already take it?"
"No."
"You can, you know. I'll be here." Edging closer to him, she reaches over him and holds the vial. Twisting the cap off, she looks down at him and waits for him to nod. All he has to do is crane his neck for the rim to touch his lips, a cool, watery substance rolling over his tongue and down his throat. A dreamless sleep potion should go down easy, he thinks with an exhausted smile. His head heavy, he lays it back down as everything fades to black.
Music, of all things, ushers him back to the real world, of colors and sounds and the sensation of touch. Blinking, it slowly dawns on him the side of his face hasn't been buried in a pillow but in Emma's lap. Precarious, he thinks, smiling, fighting the urge to laugh so he can focus on rolling as subtly as he can in case she's sleeping. With half-lidded eyes, she gives him a quick smile and runs her fingers through his hair. It clears his head enough to notice pink light from behind the curtains. An odd image dominates his television screen of a woman with an opened parasol hovering in the air against an overcast sky.
"What's this?"
"Oh, um, Mary Poppins," she answers, blushing a little. "It's a comfort movie. I watched it when I was a kid."
"You watched this as a child?"
"Yeah..."
The effects of the potion must be rattling around the contents in his brain, not that the strangeness of the "movie" is helping any. He's managed to stay awake for...he's still too tired to estimate a thing like time...curiosity's sake beckoning him to figure this thing out.
"A story where the governess extorts her way into the position, manipulates the children into cleaning their nursery, shuffling them off to play with the homeless man she carouses with, and then gives them medicine that tastes like rum is for children?"
"Maybe you should just go back to sleep," she says after a beat. It feels like sunrise, even a few birds singing outside his window, but she doesn't move from her spot, centered in his bed with her back against a propped-up pillow, her fingers still sifting through his hair. Whatever awareness he thought he'd been acquiring leaves him again.
"I love it when you do that," he murmurs into her thigh, closing his eyes.
"I noticed. Why do you think I do it?"
How did he get so lucky, is his last coherent thought. When next he opens his eyes, the clock blinks to six minutes past noon.
A/N: Happy early Easter, everyone! I am so excited about writing the second half of Season 4 (but also terrified because the challenges just don't stop). I have a few recommendations to promote. If you haven't come across these yet, you need to. "These Dreams" by Karmacanary, "The Lightbearers" by SilverRavenStar, "Warm Nights and Firelight" by Oubliette14, and "Beyond the Horizon" by Alexandra Lyman are all soooo good. Coming up? Captain Swan does something together I've wanted them to do for a long time (no, not THAT, perverts, lol).