Pride
Part 21
Jackson had been both surprised and relieved to hear Lee would give evidence against Davies. It was the first bit of positive news they'd had in a while and it had boosted his flagging spirits. But more importantly it would take some of the pressure off Aaron. Had Lee and Aaron meeting helped in any other way? Well he was yet to find out.
Aaron had been talkative enough at the Dunne's but now, as they made their way back to his flat, Jackson was all too aware of how quiet he'd become. The younger man was looking out the van's side window, but Jackson doubted he was aware of anything out there; he was too lost in thought.
He couldn't really talk to him now, not when he was concentrating on the road and traffic around him but as soon as they stepped through the door to his place he would corner him and have him open up.
Once back at the flat Aaron had made a beeline for the TV, switching it on. As the younger man then slouched on the sofa, Jackson picked up the remote control and switched the TV off.
"I was watching that." Aaron protested.
"No you weren't, you were avoiding talking to me." Jackson then held up the remote control and said, "If only this worked on humans too!"
"What you want to turn me on?" Aaron grinned, "I can think of better ways!"
Jackson grinned back, "No, well not right now anyway. I meant getting you to talk at the press of a button."
"What?"
"You were so quiet on the way back here I thought I must have left you behind at Lee's!"
Aaron rolled his eyes, "Funny!"
"Then I thought well actually yes, that's probably where you were, your thoughts anyway."
Aaron shrugged, Jackson wasn't far wrong there; his thoughts had at times been with Lee but had been mostly centred on the man beside him.
Tossing the TV remote well out of Aaron's reach Jackson sat alongside him, "So. You two got on well?"
Aaron sighed, "Yeah, well we have a lot in common."
Jackson hummed affirmatively. He knew Aaron was referring solely to Chris but in actual fact they had other things in common too. They were similar in age, both were blond and blue eyed. He was certain that wasn't a coincidence where Davies was concerned. They were also two very good looking lads. Chris would relish being seen out with them. He had an enormous ego and that's how he kept it fed!
Lee was shy and sensitive. Although Aaron wasn't shy, and he wouldn't admit to being sensitive Jackson knew he was. Davies had shattered what little confidence Lee had in himself, and he'd knocked Aaron's for six. Now they were both determined to claw back what he'd taken from them.
Aaron was looking at him now, his eyes troubled. "What is it?" Jackson coaxed.
"I keep thinking I could have ended up just like Lee. I was heading in that direction wasn't I? If things had gone smoothly for another month or so, I'd probably have been so into him that when he did turn nasty I'd have just taken it. More scared of losing him and being on my own than of him laying into me.
"No." Jackson didn't believe that or rather didn't want to believe that.
"If you hadn't stepped in, if you hadn't been there for me, I'd still be with him now."
"No. You're stronger than that."
"When I'm with you maybe but not on my own."
"Aaron..."
"I'm trying to thank you." Jackson had done so much for him, more than he would ever know.
"I don't need thanking, not for caring about you, not for lo..." Jackson bit back on the word.
"What?"
"Liking you." Jackson hurriedly said.
"Liking?" Aaron had been sure Jackson had been about to say something else.
"That's what I said." But it wasn't what he'd been about to say. The L word and all its connotations scared him, for days now he'd been struggling with the realization that he'd fallen in love. It wouldn't be fair to drop it on Aaron now, not when he had so much else going on in his life. He had to change the subject fast. "Has it helped at all talking to Lee?"
Aaron nodded; he'd done a lot of thinking in the short space of time since. Explaining to someone how you'd let yourself believe in something that wasn't real was impossible. He hadn't needed to with Lee, he understood. He'd been there, got the t-shirt and the emotional scars to prove it. Lee had been so open about his time with Chris; he'd needed to talk about it to someone else who understood. Aaron didn't know how much it had helped Lee but he was sure it had in some way. It had definitely helped him, he wasn't so angry at himself now, most of his anger now directed at Chris.
His and Lee's conversation had also left him thinking about Jackson, what it was he now felt for him, and that he had realised on the drive back here, was love. "Yeah, it's helped a lot." He was seeing things a lot clearer now.
They'd decided to go out, celebrate the good news they'd had about Lee, just a few pints and then back to Paddy's to tell him in person.
They'd ended up in Bar West, drawn to the place like some invisable magnet was pulling them there. Half an hour in Aaron had ordered another round and gone to the loo while he waited for them to be poured. The men's room was empty, at least he'd thought it was when he'd entered it. Then he'd sensed someone in the corner of the room, but didn't think anymore of it until heard the man speak.
"Hello Aaron."
The deep voice was unmistakable, it was Chris!
TBC