Chapter 21: Final Vows

She couldn't get the sound of his voice calling her name as she ran from the office. No matter how hard she tried she kept hearing it over and over in her head. "I'm in love with her, CJ."

As she drove she started second guessing herself. Did she react too hastily? Too irrationally?

But no, she thought, she shouldn't doubt her feelings. She should think of herself right now and get away to think, at least for awhile.

Still she just couldn't believe it: Matt was in love with someone else! And, although he had some rare type of amnesia, he should have at least listened to her pleas about taking a break from his new fling. But, no, he wanted to be with whats-her-face that badly. A woman he had known for literally days versus a woman who had been at his side for over twenty years! What kind of man does that sort of thing to his best friend?!

Before she knew it, she was approaching San Francisco. She must have driven all night for here before her was the sunrise and the Golden Gate Bridge. She hadn't slept at all.

She pulled over and stopped to gaze at the bridge, contemplating what it would be like to do what she heard of others do in their time of desperation. There were times of late she feared their relationship was almost too good to be true, and they were bound to hit a few rough patches here and there, but she never dreamed something like this would happen! Who would?

Falling in love with each other was the most natural and wonderful time ... and their friends seemed to think so, too. He was her best friend, business partner and lover. How could she have a life without him?

Suddenly a voice called out.

"CJ?"

It startled her for a second and she looked around for its owner.

"CJ, is that you?"

She looked confused as a man kept saying her name. Was it Matt? Did he follow her up the coast? Did he change his mind and chase after her, remembering how much he loved her?

"Are you alright? Did something happen to you?"

She tried to focus on the man who kept calling her name. The sun was rising over the bay from behind him and she couldn't see his face at first. Slowly she realized who it was.

"Gary? What are you doing here?" she managed to ask.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing. I come here from time to time … to think … to be alone when I need to grieve. I thought you went back to L.A. last night?"

She held her head low as more tears came from her eyes. Just when she thought she had used them all up.

"What on earth happened?" he asked as he came closer and placed his hands on her arms.

"He ... ah … the wedding … is off, " she said as she stared down at her ring.

"What?"

"My fiancé, Matt, he uh, fell in love with someone else while I was gone. He … he slept with her."

"WHAT?!"

She nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. He even admitted it to me."

"WHAT? I am so sorry, CJ. You must be devastated!"

Her emotions wouldn't let her speak so she just nodded.

"Well, do you have some place to stay?" he asked as he noticed the luggage in her car.

She didn't know what to say. She hadn't thought that much ahead. Couldn't she just keep driving until all the pain had gone away?

"I just thought I'd stay in a hotel somewhere."

"Alone? Don't you have any friends or family you can stay with?"

"Most of them are back in LA and I just can't be in the same town as him right now."

"Look, this might sound a little forward, but you can stay with my family for awhile. You can use our guest room. My mother and the boys would love to have you."

"No, I don't think …" she started to resist, her words trailing off.

"Are you sure? It really wouldn't be any trouble at all."

She cried again.

"C'mon. You shouldn't be alone at a time like this."

Exhausted, she didn't have the strength to resist such an offer.

"Okay."

After several days of seeing her so depressed, Gary knew that she would need more than a shoulder to cry on to help get her through this crisis so he referred her to two doctors. One was a psychiatrist that could not only prescribe medicine, but provide counseling as well. CJ could have resisted the idea, but her conscious told her that Gary was probably right. He was a doctor and had experience having his heart broken. Somehow he had managed to get past the hurt of losing a child and a wife and go on. Getting over Matt would be difficult for her. She had known him almost all her life. She had loved him almost all her life.

The other doctor he recommended was a gynecologist. Knowing that her last partner had cheated on her he thought that she should be tested for several things, including AIDS, just to be on the safe side. But, CJ wanted to put this off for now. The thought of somebody viewing her most personal attributes turned her off at the moment. She'd do it later when she felt stronger.

Throughout her thoughts she kept thinking of Julia and what she would say right now. Oh, how she wished she had at least her to go to! In matter of months she had lost both of her best friends! All she had left was Julia's journals which she might enjoy reading, and her photo albums. But she couldn't open them. There was one too many pictures of him there during their happier times.

She couldn't believe the boat she was in. One day she was living in a beautiful ranch with her fiance and now ... now she was living in a house of strangers. Okay, there were very kind and nice to her, but they were still essentially strangers. She thought about calling Chris and letting her know where she was living now, but the thought of hearing her say "Houston Investigations" when she answered the phone would just be too much. She called her friend Elaine.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi Elaine. It's CJ."

She heard the emotion in her friend's voice and knew instantly that something was wrong.

"CJ, oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"No," her voice trembled. "I'm a wreck but … look Elaine, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"Sure… anything. What is it?"

"I need you to call Chris at the office and ask her to cancel all the wedding plans for me."

"The wedding plans? Oh, my God, CJ! What happened?"

"Well, it's kind of complicated, and I don't want to go into detail right now, but the short end of it is that Matt cheated on me. He's in love with another woman."

She heard CJ's voice shake with emotion.

"Oh, no … CJ. Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"Oh god! Of all the horrible things! How could he do that to you? You're best thing to ever happen to him!"

"Yeah… maybe. But it's over. And I don't want to be hurt by him ever again."

"Oh, CJ. I'm so sorry," she said repeated.

"Elaine, I want you to know I'm staying in the San Francisco area with a friend. I'm not sure how long, but it could be awhile. Julia's research center is my work now and there's a lot of work to do to get it off the ground."

As CJ said this she experienced a moment of clarity. In a strange way she really did feel like she belonged here. Come to think of it she was tired of being shot at, kidnapped and watching her cars get blown up! Maybe her string of bad luck was because of him. Maybe she had put up with all that stupid drama because she loved him too much.

Maybe it was really true that leopards never change their spots. At least she set a record: Matt dated her longer than any other woman. She wasn't his flavor for one month - she was his flavor for eight months. Too bad they didn't hand out awards for that. All she had was a ring. A ring that needed to be off her finger! She removed it from her hand and put it away in its box.

"Okay, CJ. I'll call Chris. Is there anyone else you want me to call?"

She thought for a moment about Roy. He had become a father figure to her in the past year. He would want to know that she was okay.

"Well, I guess you should also call Roy and let him know I'm okay, but tell him I don't want phone calls or visits ... from ANYONE ... especially Matt. Tell him that I just want a chance to start fresh with a brand new life here."

"Okay, I'll tell him. If there's ever anything else I can do for you … anytime, day or night… promise you'll call me, okay?"

"Okay I promise. And don't worry. I'll be okay."

As she hung up the phone she could see Gary's boys from the window. They were playing a game with their father in the back yard and looked like they were having so much fun. They would be having more fun if another player joined them.

Chris hung up the phone at her desk and grabbed a tissue. Elaine had relayed CJ's message and now it was official: CJ was gone. God she would miss her! Of all the people she ever worked with CJ was the best. She always had her back.

As she started organizing CJ's desk, she found herself upset about canceling the wedding. She was one of the people among dozens who always wanted to see them together. She looked up at her boss from across the room and narrowed her eyes at him. She almost couldn't stand to look at him right now. She'd make sure to forward any unpaid bills to Mr. Wonderful. He should have to pay for something.

"Ah, Chris what are you doing with all that?" Matt asked as he poked his head in CJ's office.

She didn't answer his question and just shouted, "Dream buster!" and slammed the door in his face.

Matt kept thinking about CJ, especially as he worked on a case about a modern day Jack the Ripper. Having Murray or Roy work with Baby just wasn't the same as CJ. She had a way with that super computer that no one else seemed to.

But, it wasn't just her skills as his number one assistant he missed. He missed seeing her on a regular basis. He missed her smile and the way they would banter throughout the course of the day.

Too bad he couldn't remember what it was like to really be with her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get a grip on the massive void in his brain!

At least he had Elizabeth. She seemed to understand what he was going through. She knew the drama of having your world turned upside down in a short amount of time, and what his friendship with CJ meant to him. She consoled Matt when he'd talk about wanting to find CJ and talk to her. She even offered to take a break from their relationship until he had some closure with it. But, he wouldn't hear of it. Even though he didn't like the way they left things, he didn't want to be apart from Elizabeth. She seemed to need him even more than he needed her.

He knew CJ was hurting because of him, but yet he still had a hard time accepting she was out of his life completely and wanted to be left alone. She made it very clear, and he had no choice but to respect that decision. He grieved for his friend, hoping she would be okay.

Gary had an idea. He knew all too well the pain of losing someone you love. He also knew how to go on: serve others. Helping people in more unfortunate circumstances brings a new perspective on things. He had to visit a few pediatric cancer wards as part of their research on cancer centers. He thought that CJ should go along with him.

She agreed knowing that the visits would be heartbreaking for him. He could use a kindred soul to accompany him.

The first visit to the pediatric wing of the cancer center was indeed hard. CJ marveled at Gary's rapport with the children. He maintained his composure, yet she could see that his heart broke for them. They affected CJ, too. Here were these precious children who were given a raw deal in life and yet they still smiled. All she had was a broken heart. They had broken bodies, wondering if they would live to see their next birthdays.

Gary grew quiet during their ride back to the house. Even with CJ beside him, the visit was harder than he anticipated. So many of the children had reminded him of his Janie. As he stepped inside the door he took a long look at Janie's photo on the wall and cried.

"Oh, God, all those poor children! I've got to do more, CJ!" he said as he felt the soft weight of her hand come on his shoulder.

"You will, and I'll help you."

Her voice was so sincere, her touch so powerful. Gary took and squeezed the hand of the woman who had just stolen his heart.

Some weeks later, Matt and Elizabeth were relaxing watching the news together and saw an interesting story. It was about the opening of a brand new children's cancer research center. Right away it caught his attention. He turned up the volume and listened as they interviewer spoke with the founders. As the camera panned to the woman, his eyes widened with delight. CJ! It was the first time he had seen her in almost two months. He watched intently as she spoke about how they were starting this center in memory of two loved ones and how they were in need of a few more donors to finish the completion on the building. Elizabeth saw the smile on her husband's face as he watched. She knew he loved CJ in a way that was unique and very special. She waited until the interview was over and left the room, only to return seconds later with a checkbook in her hand.

"Here. You know you want to do it."
Matt was in awe. Yes, he wanted to do it, and somehow she knew it. He thought about the amount he wanted to donate. He didn't want it to seem too impersonal, yet he wanted it be significant. He wrote a check in the amount of $51,185: the numbers that would have been their wedding date. He would make sure to mail it the very next day. That night he laid in bed in peace thinking of her smile when she received his check.

One of CJ's favorite part of the day had become opening the mail, especially since they had been receiving additional funds after their story was broadcasted on the evening news. Some of the amounts were for as little as ten dollars, others in the hundreds. But, one check seemed different because someone had not only made a sizable donation, but even squeezed a nice note in the memo: "In memory of Julia." She looked at the check amount and then glanced at the signature. It was from Matt. She put her hand to her heart for a moment as a tear came to her eye.

Gary was sitting across the room and noticed her expression.

"What's wrong, CJ?"

"The remaining funds we need to launch The Center. It's more than enough."

He walked over to her desk, looked at the check, and smiled too. "This is fantastic! This is wonderful!" he said as he threw his arm around CJ. As he was about to release he took a long look at her face. She was a beautiful woman: not only on the outside, but on the inside, too. In the past two months he had not only grown fond of working with her, but living with her as well. He moved his hands onto her face and gazed into her eyes. CJ held her breath as he put his lips to hers and kissed her.

He was falling in love… and so was someone else.

CJ couldn't believe it. Gary kissed her … and she liked it … a lot. They really seemed to have grown close in a matter of months. Was it too soon for her to embark in a new romance? Was she falling for him on the rebound? She wasn't sure, but one thing she knew is that she wasn't scared. Gary didn't have that affect on her. He made her feel safe, he made her smile. He was kind, gentle and seemed to have his priorities right. He was more emotionally stable than anyone she'd ever met, and he was also handsome. Handsome in a way that she could see, but necessarily every female this side of the equator could. Maybe Matt and her weren't really meant to be together? Maybe they should have stayed good friends.

A part of her wanted to call Matt personally and thank him, but another part of her thought she would be going against her word. They had sent letters to all of their contributors, yet that seemed too impersonal in this case. She knew she would have to give it a lot of thought and decided to take a break from her desk. She went outside to the back yard to what had become her favorite spot: a chaise lounge under a large ash tree in the back yard.

She picked up the morning newspaper to look for an article that another reporter had written on The Center. She was a little disappointed it wasn't on any of the front covers, but then smiled as she saw it on page three accompanied with a color photo of Janie and Julia. She checked over the article looking to see if the reporter had all the facts straight. As she finished it she felt pleased. She was having yet another great day. It seemed that her sad days were behind her. In only two months time she was surrounded by the prospect of new love and a very meaningful career.

As CJ finished perusing the paper, though, she came across a wedding announcement ... for Matt and Elizabeth. Darn him for being such a renown private eye! That case with a modern-day, copy-cat Jack the Ripper had made him even more famous, and now it seemed his every move was news! And, dammit, just when she having a good day! She rose from her chaise and went inside to take scissors to the paper. She kept the part about The Center, but crumpled up the page with the wedding announcement and placed it in the garbage disposal. She flipped the switch and delighted in the sound of it. She only stopped it when she heard the phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello Ms. Parsons? This is Dr. Moss from the women's center."

"Oh, hello doctor."

"I have the results of the tests we ran."

CJ felt a little concerned. Usually a nurse or assistant calls back after routine tests are run, not the doctor. Her thoughts went crazy for a moment worrying they had found something bad on her tests. She held her breath and braced herself.

"Okay, what are they?"

"Well, everything was negative except for one test."

"Oh? Which test was abnormal?" she cautiously asked.

"Your pregnancy test. It was positive."

She held the phone away from her face a second.

"Ms. Parsons? Are you still there?"

She quickly focused and asked, "Are you sure, doctor?"

"Yes, we checked it twice."

As the doctor was about to transfer her over to the receptionist to make a follow up appointment, she hung up the phone.

Pregnant.

Her first thought was remorse that she wasn't married and in a position to better appreciate the news. After all, single moms didn't exactly have it easy. To make it, they needed support from family and friends.

If she had still lived in LA she would have a whole network of people willing to help her out. Now she might have to rely on help from strangers who had already gave her so much charity.

Aside from that, CJ was surprised to find herself smiling at the idea. She was going to be a mother! And she was having Matt's baby! She had a part of him growing inside of her. She had something that would forever bind them together and be symbol of their love.

She had one question though: would she tell him? Would it change everything if she did? And, what on earth would conservative Gary and his old-country mother think of her when they found out?

Okay, okay it was more than one question. Counting wasn't her strongpoint … obviously.