A/N- Sooooo...this is quite a long chapter. I could have split it into three but I think it adds a little more drama if it is all stacked together. Besides, I thought you guys deserved a bit of a treat :) It's quite wordy, a little bit emotional, and a part of it is musically inspired (perhaps a little corny, but it was fun to write it. See if you can spot where). The story is nearly finished but there are still a couple of chapters left, so I hope you'll stick with me xxx Thanks for all your fab comments, and please leave plenty more. Enjoy xxx :)
21. Say Something
The lair was suddenly subdued. When Splinter had revealed the gravity of the situation, Raph had slammed his fist onto Donny's desk before storming out to his room. Mona went to follow him but Casey blocked her path.
"Sometimes it's best just to leave him," he told her, smiling a little. "He can get a bit destructive if he can't cool off properly."
Mona nodded in reply, looking awkwardly around her. Casey walked over to sit next to April on the couch, Donatello and Michelangelo simply staring at the ground while the gentle beeping of the ECG monitors served as ticking clocks. She went to stand awkwardly in the kitchen, wishing Raphael hadn't stormed off, but knowing he needed a little space to process things. He had told her so much about his family, about the dangers they had faced, both willingly and unwillingly. About their training, their battles, their intergalactic travels. He spoke mostly about his brothers, their traits, and the things that annoyed him. Leonardo, oddly, was the most common topic of conversation, Raphael moaning how the leader always reprimanded him for his bad temper and poor judgement, bossed him around, always scolded him for being out late. He discussed his sacrifices. His unyielding dedication to the team. To his family. Raphael may have been the group's defender, but "Leo's our protector, ya' know? He's always watching our backs, ready to catch the blade before it falls, rather than to kick the bad guy's ass after one of us has been hurt."
Mona remembered him sighing after that, one chilly spring night on their usual rooftop.
"Unlike me. I focus on my fight, and if one of us gets hurt, then I get angry. Then I jump in to protect them, but it's too late. They've already got the wound. They've already lost their part of the fight. But Leo just always seems to know. He senses the battle, rather than just engaging with the fight."
He paused, while Mona sat silent, unused to Raphael talking in such a personal way.
"It scares me sometimes that because he always takes the hit for us, always places himself between us and the danger if he can't physically move us, always stands in front, ready to protect and defend us until we are able to get back up and fight, or until he… He has to do it so often that I'm scared we'll just get used to it. And that the day he doesn't get back up again, it won't…we won't feel…"
He stopped again, and Mona could see the battle raging in his eyes.
"Does he have to step in?" She asked softly. Raph had looked at her, confused. "Does he have to take the hits, or does he choose to?"
"Well, he thinks it's his duty as leader, and-"
"He's your brother first, Raphael. He chooses to protect you because he wants to, and trusts that the three of you can continue on in his absence. He may protect you during the battle, but you defend him and his values by not giving up."
"Jeesh Mona, you've never met Leo, but it's like you've known the guy your whole life!" Raph chuckled. She was glad to see a smile on his face.
"The amount you talk about him, I feel like I have."
Mona smiled at the memory, but then remembered that there had been two sacrifices this night. She could see Mikey clutching onto a photo frame, five figures encased within. She wondered how Venus felt about all this. If Raphael's suspicions were true regarding her feelings for Leo (which the latter had might quite obvious thanks to his frustration with Mona earlier on), then what does Venus think of Leo playing protector? Was she trying to repay the favour tonight? Or is it just in their nature? She wondered how she would feel if Raphael was constantly putting himself on the line, how she would react if he came home battered and broken. For a moment she was thankful that he hadn't been made leader, since the title seemed to make Leonardo more of a target, before she hung her head in shame. He could be dying. Venus could be dying. How did this family stand it? How did they deal with this chaos so often, as if it was normal to dance with death?
She hadn't realised she was shaking until a warm cup of tea was placed into her hands. She looked up to see Raphael's father stood before her. She tensed until she saw his expression was soft.
"I wish to thank you, Miss-?"
"Mona Lisa," Mona replied, taking a sip. The heat immediately calmed her nerves, her shaking gradually fading.
"Miss Mona, you have my eternal thanks for helping my sons this night. Your assistance not only brought them home safe, but allowed them to find Venus before it was too late." He paused, trying to sense her character. He knew she was nervous. He would have to earn her trust, for Raphael's sake.
"You have done a great thing for my family."
Mona didn't reply, she couldn't. Not after everything Raphael had told her these past few months. She let the rat bow his head towards her before he walked away. He didn't ask her to leave, he didn't ask her to stay. He merely went to sit down with his sons, clutching his cup of tea. She stayed in the kitchen.
Meanwhile, Leo opened his eyes. The smell of blood had him immediately trying to sit up, pain lancing through him. He gasped as he clutched at his middle, squinting as he took in the familiar surroundings of the recovery room. We got out, they're safe. We're home.
He let out a breath of relief before his eyes caught sight of Venus. His heart stopped: she was so bruised and pale, an angry mottling of purple and brown dancing across her insipidly green skin. The same darkness was present underneath her eyes, and it made her look so weak. So small. Leo couldn't bare it. Not only had she been hunted down and tortured, but he had let it happen.
He creeped his way the other end of his bed, his injuries forcing him to move slowly. Now near Venus' head, he stroked her cheek gently.
"Wake up Venus," he whispered, noting her very shallow breathing. He pressed his thumb to her neck and checked her pulse, dread filling him as he felt its frighteningly slow beat. "Please Venus, wake up." He didn't want to say the words. Didn't want to make such a request of her, but the ECG reminded him of a countdown. She was in danger. "Don't leave me." And he couldn't protect her.
He could feel the tears breaking free and trickling down his cheeks. She was beyond his help, yet he couldn't stop talking. "Please Venus, please wake up. Don't leave me. I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time. I'm so sorry. Please Venus. I don't want to give up on you."
He swallowed as he got no response. He grabbed her hand and repeated the words again and again, ever hopeful for a twitch or slight shift in position. But she didn't move. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it, his tears still flowing silently.
"Please Venus. I've never felt like this before. I love you, I know I do. I just didn't realise it. I was still learning, but I'll swallow my pride. I won't let Splinter be cruel anymore. I promise. I'm sorry I didn't get to you."
Silence.
"Please Venus. I don't want to say goodbye."
Leonardo was trapped in a nightmare that played over and over in his head whilst in reality, he tossed and turned in his bed. Alerted by his heartrate suddenly increasing, his brothers ran in and tried to wake him up, to calm him down and subdue him, but nothing would help. And then Venus began doing the same.
"Leo, please wake up. Don't leave me. I don't want to give up on you. I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop him. Please Leo. Come back to me."
In her mind, Venus stared at the unconscious turtle lying next to her, so bruised and battered. So still. She then kissed Leo's hand, desperately wanting him to wake up. That way, she wouldn't have failed. That way she wouldn't have let anyone else die.
"Please Leo, I love you, I don't want to say goodbye."
While Casey and Mikey, April and Donny tried to calm Leonardo and Venus, Splinter stood frozen, watching the pair. He knew they could sense each other's presence, both struggling to help the other in the far recesses of their minds but failing to make a solid connection and wake the other up. He looked up to see Mona leading Raphael into the room, his eyes terrified at the convulsing figures before him. He stepped to assist Casey and Mikey since Leo seemed to be more agitated, while Mona, earning an approving look from Donny, tried to soothe Venus with him and April.
The turtles were suffering the same nightmare, saying the same words and wanting the same thing; for the other to wake up. Venus suddenly felt darkness pull at her mind, and she tried to hold on to Leo's hand and stay with him. But she was too weak and the pull too strong. She lost her grip and fell off the bed into black.
In reality, Venus suddenly stilled on her bed, causing the others to freeze.
"Venus?" April asked. She checked her heartbeat. She placed a palm over her open mouth to feel for breath. She gently pulled at an eyelid, revealing a blue eye. Bloodshot. Unresponsive.
Donny looked up at the ECG monitor, his face grim as a solitary beep echoed out, another following far later than it should be.
"Her heart rate is too slow," he began. "She can't-"
A sudden increase from Leo's monitor had him pausing as his brother's fit began to subside, his body taking large gasps of air as he panted. Casey, Mikey, and Raph gently released him, the latter helping to shift his torso in a more comfortable position. A little more colour had returned to his brother's face.
"Don, is he…will he be…?"
"I think he'll wake up soon," Don announced, manually checking Leo's heartrate and breathing. "His brain might've just kicked into gear. It's probably sick of him getting into scrapes like this."
There were relieved smiles from the group, apart from April, who clutched at Venus' hand. Don crouched down opposite her.
"April, her heart rate is too low to be doing anything for her body. I don't know anything about her 'shinobi health', and we don't have a way to summon the Daimyo. I'm sorry, but-"
The tears arrived hard and fast as sobs racked April's body. Casey quickly stepped forward and enveloped her in a hug, simply holding her as she gripped at his form. Her cries were loud and filled with pain, and Splinter also sensed guilt. He turned to Donatello, his son's face devastated, and gently lifted him from his crouch.
"My sons, and Miss Mona, let us go to the dojo. Perhaps I can contact Usagi for assistance."
The group followed him out, leaving April and Casey with their unconscious comrades. The rat could feel, and understand, the former's glare as he left the room.
Venus continued to fall, images of her family being beaten and battered filling her mind; the Shredder looming over them, Master Splinter and Chung I all the while calling her a failure. She screamed and cried out, but nothing would relieve her of her pain. So she turned away, curling up into herself. She isolated herself from everything external, laying in darkness and silence while her body thrummed with pain from that terrible night. She felt cold.
Leonardo, meanwhile, was slowly brought into the light. He cracked his eyes open a little, the dim lamps burning his corneas. He turned his head to find Donny sat in a chair next to him, reading a book. He suddenly seethed at the slight movement, catching his brother's attention.
"Leo?" Donny whispered.
"Hey," Leo rasped. "How long have I been out?"
"A couple of days. How do you feel?"
"Sore, but that figures seeing as a building fell on me," Leo smiled. He was glad to see relief flood Donny's features.
"I guess so." He rolled his eyes when Leo suddenly yawned. "Listen, it's about 3 am. You might want to get some more sleep. The guys will be more awake in the morning. And so will you."
"Okay. How's Venus though?"
Donny took just a little too long to answer. "Still sleeping."
A few hours later, everyone was glad to see Leonardo awake and talking, but none of them would let Leo get up thanks to his bruised ribs. Given his stubborn nature, and the fact he'd been unable to stomach any kind of food, someone had to constantly sit with him, and the first watch fell to Raphael.
"Honestly Raph, I don't need a babysitter."
"Leo, we know you too well. If we leave you for one minute you'll be trying to get up and pick a fight with the Purple Dragons."
"That's more your style, I think."
"Heh, maybe. But you and I ain't that different when it comes down to it."
"Wow. That must have killed you to admit that."
Raph stared at him, his brows raised in warning. Then he smiled, earning a chuckle from his brother.
"So, where's Mona?"
Raph froze, suddenly nervous.
"Listen Leo, I'm sorry-"
"I don't want your apology Raph. I knew you were sneaking out at night without Casey."
"You did?" Raph knew he shouldn't have been surprised. Not really. But he couldn't help it. "Then why the hell didn't you say somthin'?"
"Because, I figured that whatever was making you come back home unhurt and more importantly, chilled out, wasn't exactly a bad influence." He glanced at Venus, still sleeping in the bed next to him.
"So, you aint angry about my meeting her?"
"I'm a little disappointed that you revealed so much about our family to someone we didn't know ourselves. But then again, having met her, I don't blame you." He looked at Venus again. "Don't waste any chances Raph. We don't get that many."
Raph tensed before making an effort to snort. "Jeesh Leo, when did you start sounding like one of them agony aunts in Mikey's magazines?"
Leo chuckled. "I don't know, maybe running around after you guys is starting to turn me into an old woman." Raph flashed him a grin. "I won't lecture you about Mona though. After her behaviour that night, I trust her, not only to keep our secret safe, but to keep you in line." He smiled at his brother, who rolled his eyes.
Raph then noticed the bags under Leo's eyes.
"Alright then, mother-hen. And for your information, she left soon after you woke up. She hasn't really slept so I sent her home." He smiled slightly when Leo tried to stifle a yawn. "And I know someone else that needs some sleep."
"I'm fine," Leo stated, yawning again. Raph stood up to pull the covers up to Leo's shoulders before turning him over slightly onto his side, trying not to irritate the IV line in his arm. He didn't resist, not bothering to hide his yawns either. "I just need to have a walk about and some fresh air."
"Yeah, yeah buddy, maybe when you can hold your head up by yourself," Raph muttered, tucking his brother in before sitting back down. "Or stomach a spoonful of soup not made by Mikey."
It wasn't long until the leader was gently snoring. The sight made him smile. He could tell Leo was still exhausted for he didn't even twitch when Leatherhead came in to do a vitals check. He'd been asked to share the burden of family doctor while Donatello recovered from their battle with his brothers.
"All looks well, Raphael," he whispered to the watching turtle. "He should be able to move about soon, but his training must be kept to a minimum."
"We'll try, LH," Raph replied, smiling. "What about Venus?"
The alligator stopped packing his equipment and sighed. "I am afraid I cannot identify what is exactly wrong with her. She is naturally suffering with exhaustion but there are other complications, one that Donatello and I cannot hope to understand. She is in a coma, yet is still deteriorating. I don't understand it."
The alligator continued to gaze at Venus, causing Raphael to clear his throat.
"Well, erm, thanks for trying Leatherhead. We really appreciate it."
The larger reptile appeared to snap out of his trance. "Of course Raphael. I am always happy to help this family. I hope that Leonardo has a speedy recovery, and pray that Venus returns to us soon."
He walked away, leaving Raphael a little confused, and worried. Donatello had purposefully not told Leo that Venus was at death's door, and while Raphael had agreed with the decision at the time, he knew the leader would figure it out soon enough.
Leo's fit the day before had freaked the group out a little bit, but after just one more day in bed, the turtle leader was up and about, although a little wobbly. He took note of his brothers' injuries and, although he felt guilty, was very glad that they hadn't been more seriously injured. There was one thing he needed to know, though.
Leonardo knocked on the door of the meditation chamber, his heart hammering.
"Come in, my son."
Leo stepped inside and knelt before his father, who smiled.
"Leonardo, I am very impressed with your recovery. You have true strength within you."
"Thank you, sensei."
"Now, how can I help you?"
"I need to ask you something, and I trust you to be honest with me."
Splinter frowned. "Of course, my son."
Leo took a deep breath. "Venus' condition. How serious is it exactly?"
"I would have thought Donatello would have been the better person to ask-"
"He's being very vague, as if he's trying to hide something. Raph and Mikey aren't being very open either, and April looks like she's about to cry every time she sees me."
Splinter sighed. His genius son and the others couldn't face telling their brother such terrible news, not that Splinter blamed them. As his father, the old rat knew it was his duty to explain the situation to Leonardo. But it wasn't going to be easy.
"Gravely serious, I am afraid. She has suffered a serious depletion in her chi energy thanks to the Shredder and his tricks, and had to use her internal strength to effectively fight her own magic, a very dangerous and unnatural occurrence in the world of a Shinobi. The likelihood that she will recover is...slim, and if she does, the process will be slow."
"What about Usagi, or the Daimyo? Can't we ask them for help?"
"Both have been elusive in regards to my attempts to contact them. It may be that they are currently beyond our dimensional connection, dealing with other issues."
"But the Daimyo sensed Venus' injuries last time. He sensed she was in danger. Could that mean-?"
"He sensed her spiritual injuries. The ones directly connected to her shinobi core. As I said, he may be too far away to sense her problems, or perhaps there is a lot more physical injury involved this time. But nonetheless her gifts cause complications, and Donatello, Leatherhead, and I are unsure of how to proceed. Her heart beat decreases every day, and even if your brother had a machine that could keep it physically pumping, it would not do anything. A shinobi's blood and energy are intertwined. If the latter continues to fade into nothing, then the former is rendered useless. She needs to recover her energy to get her heart working again, and then it can bond her blood and chi together once more." He could see his son taking in every word. He had no doubt that the leader understood. "I fear this is an ultimate test for Venus. She must find her inner most power and draw it out whilst adding to it, using her time in darkness to rest her entire body and mind to conserve every last ounce of strength."
"And if she doesn't?"
"Then her heart will eventually give out, and she will never awaken from the darkness."
Leo's breath caught in the back of his throat, and he made a noise of pain that Splinter had never heard before. He saw sudden tears in his son's eyes, a rare thing in his chosen leader. Sadness filled his heart as he saw Leonardo crumple a little and unfold his legs so that he was sat flat on the floor, without dignity or composure.
"Why didn't I tell her?" He heard him mutter.
"Tell her what, my son?"
Leo looked up at his father, realising what he was doing. He thought about trying to regain his pride and to stand strong and stoic in front of his father, but he found that he didn't want to. He'd made a promise.
"That I love her," Leo stated. Anger at his father's disapproval suddenly flared, his fists clenching tight. He wanted Splinter to challenge him, to make comment on his relationship with Venus and its distractions, a relationship that Leonardo had let his father control and perhaps destroy.
It was not an emotion that was often directed towards him from his eldest, but Master Splinter raised his brows in understanding. He felt solely responsible; if he hadn't been so selfish and just let the young pair be then this wouldn't have happened. April may have been captured but they would have found her, and then Venus' wouldn't have had to endure this, and neither would his son.
He suddenly felt the rage in the air fade away as his son began to shake.
"I, just wanted... I didn't mean to..." Leo stammered when suddenly he was pulled into a fierce embrace by his father.
"I know, my son. I know. And I am so sorry."
The turtle digested his father's words before burying his face into the rat's fur and letting out a strangled cry, full of pain and anger. He didn't care who heard him; he let go of all restraint and sobbed like a child, clinging onto his father. He didn't care if he didn't approve of the pair, he just wanted Venus to wake up. Desperately.
After a while, Leonardo's sobs faded and the pair simply sat in silence, the leader still leaning on his father. His crying had irritated the pain in his ribs and he found himself unable to hold himself up, the wear and tear of the past few days catching up with him. Splinter kept a gnarled paw on his son's shoulder, providing him with the strength he needed until Leonardo stood to leave the chamber, bowing to his father before going to go sit with Venus. The silence continued, forcing Splinter into his thoughts. What would Chung I think of him now? The rat had tried to convince himself that sending Venus away was a good thing, for the whole family. But really he was...jealous, perhaps? She'd captured Leonardo's heart, meaning that she would take priority in his life. But she would never let that happen. Her willingness to leave meant she understood Leonardo's duty, and your fear. She didn't want to come between him and his family, and nor would she have ever done. You know Venus well enough to realise that she wouldn't have purposefully distracted your son, but would have tried to share his burden and give him happiness.
Splinter closed his eyes in meditation, preparing himself for the fury of Chung I. But the spirit world was empty; the shaman was preoccupied elsewhere. A desolate grief mingled with guilt fused through Splinter, and he shivered slightly, small tears escaping from his tired eyes. He had sent Venus away, caused her to doubt her abilities and sparked the nightmares of her disappointed father. He had wanted to apologise so many times these past few months, but found his pride stopped him. But he had finally resolved to the morning after the turtle's birthday, in light of his and Venus' vicious fight; when he realised he had been so wrong about the Shinobi. She had more than enough strength to support herself and Leonardo, and to dedicate herself to her team. But it was too late. She had been captured and then taken again by their most feared enemy. And his sons were the ones who were too late. Venus had done nothing wrong, and had finally mastered her shield.
Splinter smiled ironically; the months of isolation may have helped her focus after all. But considering the price that had been paid, the rat wished she hadn't if it meant she'd be alive and well. Then again, perhaps it was the fear of losing another loved one that sparked her concentration. She'd already lost her father, and the rat had seen what her anger could do when they first met, seemingly years ago now. Losing four more may have just killed her anyway.