Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.
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Chapter 21:
Solas fell asleep in his chair again. It was not comfortable but there was no way in Thedas that he was going to move Kana. He'd woken in the night to her gurgling, something about snow…and wolves. She was blessed out in fever from her leg. He didn't blame her for dreaming of snow, the shivers wracked her body. He'd sent Cole for more blankets and when the spirit returned, he'd piled them on her. It was only then that Fen'Harel thought to ask him where he'd gotten them.
The boy's reply was: "They weren't using them."
He would have to track down the owners later to apologize.
But later never came as the fever didn't subside. And he didn't leave the tower, content to having anything he needed delivered to him.
"I'm taking advantage of you." He'd told those that waited on them, their eyes always shifting between him and Kana. Whatever they thought, whatever was spreading around the castle, around every one of his outposts in Thedas, he didn't care at the moment.
He left once, on the third day to attend to business only he could and to bathe. He'd left Cole with her which was comfort enough. The only problem was that Adris was waiting for him at the bottom of the stair.
The Marshall had never seen his friend so beaten down with worry. It seemed that Kana pulled every bad emotion out of him: sorrow, fear, guilt, concern. Adris could tell it was eating him. Reports had been slow. The usually perfectly disciplined Dread Wolf was off his game. This only added to Adris' resolve. He would meddle, he would prod, he would do anything to keep them together. If this was Solas' low point, he could only imagine the opposite effect Kana would have on him.
Fen'Harel had gone to Arlathan, to meet with the council and to switch the gates around once again, allowing for more patrols and excursions into the forest. He needed to find where the Tal-Vashoth had retreated to. But the strangest things began to happen. It started with stares, with eyes following his every movement. He was used to this, the effect he had on the People with his identity known, but this was different. Instead of staying away, instead of being wary, they began to come closer. An elderly woman blocked his path and took hold of his hand, patting it reverently before continuing on her way. She was…trying to comfort him.
She was not the only one. Strangers on the street would suddenly lock gazes and nod, encouragement. They wished him health, they wished him happiness. It wasn't until Adris appeared again at his side that he realized why all of this was happening.
"They know. They've heard the stories of their brave and fearless leader getting smacked across the face by a woman. They know how, when she ran, you ran after her, and almost lost your life defending her. They know she's in your tower, resting from her grave injuries. There are...other...speculations about her being there as well."
Solas ignored the last comment.
"It is strange. The People usually avoid me." Adris chuckled.
"She's a smart one, I knew that soon as I met her. Allowing her to storm in and catch you off guard might have been my doing but that slap…" He paused in his sentence and ran a hand over his cheek. Solas had to stop himself from doing the same. There was still some slight discoloring.
"You are so far away, Solas, so far above us 'normal' people. Sometimes I wonder if one day you'll stop looking over the edge to make sure we're all right. That girl, what she did, what you did, reminds them that you are still a person. You may be powerful, you may have our future on your shoulders…but you are still just a man…a man who happens to be in love with a little Dalish mage." He paused again.
"It's the strangest of things."
Solas assumed he was referring to love.
As Adris had been talking, Fen'Harel had been retreating in his mind. It didn't matter how the People saw him. He would save them from this world. That was his promise. But as he walked away, back in the direction of the Hall of Mirrors, he couldn't stop himself from uttering one last sentence.
"She is not little."
…
He returned around dusk to find the room relatively cleaned. His trays of half-eaten food were gone and he noticed that the sheets had been replaced. Kana had been taken care of as well, her skin carefully scrubbed, fresh clothes, a change in bandage. He stood at the edge of the bed, gazing upon her sleeping face. Her hair. She must have cut it before realizing the magic of her arm. His fingers fumbled with a few of the short strands, tucking them behind a delicate ear. Solas sighed, falling back onto the sofa that sat against the stair case railing.
He was mad, he must have been. There was no more need to worry, she would be fine, she was safe.
He stood, straightened his raiment, and stepped up to the bed again. He could do it now, erase any memory of him. She'd wake up in a strange place, somewhere near Val-Royeaux or Kirkwall and wouldn't have any idea what had happened. Just a dream, she'd tell herself.
Then her eyes fluttered and she moved under the mound of blankets, her remaining hand appearing at the edge of them.
She said his name, quiet, thick with sleep. She was dreaming of him. His fingertips hovered over the left side of her face, over the tip of her ear.
Not yet, he told himself. He had to know why she'd come to find him, what her purpose in pursing him was.
Then he would let her go.
Love was indeed the strangest of things.
…
Her first thought was one of comfort. The sheets were soft and she ran a palm, her only palm, across them under the blankets. She felt buried alive again but it wasn't by way of fear this time.
Kana opened her eyes to a familiar ceiling…her ceiling. She was back at Skyhold. She was back in her bed. She would have thought everything a dream if not for the slight throbbing of her right leg.
Her only hand moved on its own, trailing down her thigh until she felt cloth, felt the bandage. She didn't want to move for fear of agitating the wound…she was still tired, her body ached. Against herself, she relaxed, floating back down in the sheets. But there was something else now, a knowing in her stomach that wouldn't go away. It growled at her restlessly. How long had she been asleep?
Her body felt as if rigor had steeped in, like that of a corpse. It took all her strength to curl upwards, right hand using the back board as support. The blankets fell off her upper body like waves.
Yes, she was back in the tower. The doors to the balconies were open, letting in soft morning air. She wore a shirt, quite a large one, with her under things beneath it. She was wearing shorts but Kana understood why they hadn't put her in pants, it was easier to take care of her leg that way. She liked the way the tunic felt against her bare skin. She would have to get the name of the tailor.
Kana, carefully, morbidly slowly, moved her right leg towards the edge of the bed and let it swing off, followed by the left. She pulled the covers back. Her entire thigh was wrapped in bandages that reeked of elfroot and other healing herbs she knew were located in the gardens. It gladdened her to know that all the hard work she'd put into that patch of dirt was still paying off, that the plants were thriving. As a Dalish, her clan was always on the move but they usually returned to the same campsites ever once in a while. It was pleasing to arrive and find whatever herbal patch they'd left was still surviving.
Kana's gaze ventured around the large room. Like the Great Hall, the blank stone walls were now covered in paintings. It was beautiful and she thought that this was how Skyhold was supposed to have looked. She glanced towards the stairs; her Dalish windows were still there, casting tree-like shadows of green on the floor. Then she noticed a thrumming, something that brought her attention to the night stand. There, among the different tonics, lay her band, the one Dagna had constructed for her. A sense of relief flooded her senses as she picked the golden circle up and pulled what was left of her left arm out of its sleeve. Under the shirt, she slipped it on and channeled her magic. She was weak but the band would help. She wanted a left arm.
The magic started slow but soon it began to fill out and Kana maneuvered the appendage back into its proper sleeve. The spell finally reached her fingertips, violet and swirling. It was still unnerving to see them but she was not going to complain about a little discoloration.
A gust of wind came through the windows and chilled her skin. Kana pulled her coverings around her tightly, only then catching something she'd missed before. It smelled like…
Shit.
Her face instantly burned red at the thought, at the context that usually accompanied something of this sort. Couldn't they have found something else to put her in! She looked around again, a realization washing over her. Skyhold had been his home. This had been his room first. And he'd let her have it, for almost three years he'd let her have it. Now Skyhold was his again…and so was the bed she'd been sleeping in.
Kana let go of the breath she was holding. She would have preferred this happening in an entirely different situation.
As a Dalish, bonding, and the events there after, was something revered, something that occurred only between two people. Since she had been adopted into the Lavellan clan, there had been a good many who had sought her hand but nothing had ever come of it. There had never been anyone she was really close to other than perhaps Deshanna. Kana had been a solitary child, her past having marked her more than she would have liked.
And then she'd met him...and he'd completely changed everything.
Solas. Fire and brimstone, she was going to have to face him now. But what would he say?
She'd saved him…and he'd saved her, what was there to say about that?
Her memories, colored with red and white, flitted in and out. Her fingers in his fur, that self-same wolf from the mountains.
Yes. He'd saved her that night as well. How many times over did he own her, body and soul? Kana felt as if she didn't belong to herself anymore.
She belonged to him. What would happen now?
Kana didn't know where he was, the armchair, that same blasted arm chair from the Rotunda, sitting behind the desk was empty, so was the sofa, although both showed signs of use.
"He's in the library. It was his favorite place before. Walls keep them out, books fill them in, so much to learn…and an eternity to do it."
Kana nearly jumped to her feet at the appearance of her favorite spirit of Compassion.
"Cole!" She said, inching towards the edge of the bed. The boy in question hopped down from the sofa and went to her side.
"You know my name? I knew you knew my name but he won't let me remember. What is yours? I can't find it."
Her happiness slunk. What had Fen'Harel done?
"He keeps it foggy, freezy, windy, so that nothing can stick on the two of you."
"Kana," she said to his elation.
"My name is Kana Lavellan, Cole." He matched her small smile with a bigger one, like a puppy with a floppy hat instead of floppy ears.
"That's it…please; tell me more, its sticking." Kana opened her mouth to continue but didn't know if she wanted to. There were things she would have liked to forget. She didn't know if Compassion should remember any of them too. She started small.
"You were my friend. There were twelve of us. We came together to save the world. You, I, Josephine, Cullen, Leliana, Cassandra,"
"Varric!"
"Yes, Varric, and Vivienne, Blackwa- I mean, Thom Rainer, Sera, Dorian, and…"
Cole turned his head away from Kana, to look back over his shoulder. There, at the top of the stairs stood the final person.
"Solas."
Kana couldn't tell, between her and Cole, who had said it first.