Just because Nathan was now obsessing over Abigail (or so it appeared), didn't make Charles' decision to cut off everything and everyone else any easier. He still had to have a working relationship with Abigail, after all. He actually managed to maintain in rather well, as she didn't have a clue as to what she had stepped into, and he wasn't about to tell her now.

It had become business as usual.

It had also become a time where they would have to promote the album, despite that it wasn't completed. Charles usually would be the one to give out the press releases, and he had been happy to do so again, but with the economy crashing, Roy Cornickelson demanded that the whole band come out for the dinner.

Charles had been nervous. He had been terrified, though not so much for being in close personal space with Nathan, as that wasn't on his mind anymore. Sure, the consequences hadn't made Charles' decision to stick to his choice any easier, but it was something that had to be done. If Nathan wanted to move on, then that was his decision. Charles had to protect what he still felt was his, and that was his job, his livelihood, his way of life – even if his life wasn't much to speak of outside of his work for the band and the church now.

But this dinner had been far too important. Too much was riding on the dinner, and Charles had tried his best to hold that back from the guys. Nathan though, had always been able to read him too well, and even though they weren't quite on speaking terms personally, he still called Charles out on how nervous he had become.

It had been unexpected, but it was something. An olive branch. They were adults, and they both had their own things to focus on now.

For a moment there, Charles had hoped the dinner would be fine. He never asked the band for anything, and while he worked for them and protected him, he never asked for anything in return. He had died for them, and never asked for anything. So, he had asked that this one night, this one thing, go well. It meant too much, and it meant too much to him.

He should have known that it would all go to shit. He should have seen everything coming, but what he didn't see coming, as he stared, jaw practically on the floor as Pickles screamed at Nathan and stormed out, that this was it. Not only had Charles' actions hurt Nathan, but Nathan's actions in retaliation got to Pickles, and had seemed to be the last straw.

Pickles stormed off, Murderface drunkenly followed, and the rest of the band followed suit. Charles just held his head in his hands at the table as Roy laid into him, disappointed that he couldn't keep the guys on task for one night. What kind of manager was he, that he couldn't manage the one thing he had?

Charles sat at that table long after everyone left, and when he finally walked out, his footsteps echoed in the large hall.

Everything was falling apart and there seemed to be nothing he could do to stop it.

He was getting really sick of feeling like that.

The thing that had made him feel the worst about everything, was that as much as he wanted to say that he could have changed things and stopped everything from falling apart, is that he couldn't. Ishnifus constantly reminded Charles that everything had to happen for a reason, that even his own actions weren't always just his own.

It took Charles a long time to believe that, and it felt like it was an excuse to lay blame on someone or something else he couldn't see. He wasn't the type to just move on from his actions as if they meant nothing. Everything anyone did carried weight.

It didn't make watching the press conference the guys were having to announce their breakup any easier, and while he said he couldn't watch it, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He felt as though he now was not only failing the band, by helping them keep things together, but he was failing Ishnifus as well - without the prophecy moving along as foretold, there was no telling what would happen exactly.

Charles could tell he wasn't the only one feeling lost though, he could read it on everyone's faces as they went about their days, preparing for what would be the final concert. It held even more weight as they made their way to the concert venue. Roy spoke about what he had seen in the boys, and Charles stood by him with his hands clasped in front of himself, his eyes focused forward on the wall. Despite doing essentially everything that he could to try to serve both masters, Charles realized he failed them both.

He stood backstage, his hands in his pockets, watching the band for what might be the last time take the stage, watching Nathan for what might be the last time take the he watched them though, his hair on his arm stood up on it's ends. Something felt wrong.

Charles always trusted his instincts, and unfortunately, this instinct was dead on.

"Get the boys! You have trained for this, go!" He commanded the elite gears, as they ran past Charles onto the stage to form a line between the boys and that of Salecia, otherworldly and demon above them, foolish Roy dead beneath them. This was something he had always prepared for, he just never knew when it would happen, and as the gears ran towards the stage, Charles ran towards the command center, and ran towards the controls for the escape pods.

"Get to the water," Charles ordered, watching the screens as the boys were taken into the pods and brought back onto the bus, "Now."

All Charles was thinking about now was protecting his boys, protecting his livelihood, protecting himself. Trusting himself to get them to safety was the easiest part, because Charles knew he could and would do anything to get them all to that point. It was the destination that was going to prove difficult to explain.

Having narrowly escaped Salecia's grasp, they landed on the submarine and Charles evacuated the boys into the sub, a few elite gears following carrying Roy's body. Charles ordered the submarine to submerge, and shouted off coordinates to their destination. It was the only place they would be safe.

When they were well on their way, Charles found himself surrounded by the boys, nervous and, though they wouldn't admit to it, scared at what they had seen. This wasn't how he had wanted to explain things, but there was no other choice.

There wasn't time for questions. There wasn't time for answers. There wasn't time to figure out what happened, why they couldn't see it, what went wrong. All everyone knew was that everything went wrong; it all fell apart at the end.

After the funeral, after the fight with the masked assassin, Charles watched in horror as Magnus stabbed Toki and Abigail. He couldn't protect them. He couldn't stop it, even though he had tried, he had fought and protected the other four, he still couldn't wipe the blood off his hands. Everything had happened so quickly, that he had no real time to react. All he knew that again, he failed.

It had been a week since Toki was taken, and Charles was spending every waking moment he had searching for him. He had Claire out with the elite gears, leading the ground search - no one questioned why the gear from legal was given a position, because no one had the nerve to question anything Charles was doing now - and Charles lead the search in the air and by sea. When they thought they had clues, they ended up coming up empty handed.

Ishnifus stayed at the church's location, but joined Charles when he could, checking in to see if there was another more that he could do. He was going over the prophecy and told Charles of something new that had come up, but Charles was too focused on how to fix what he blamed himself for to truly pay attention.

By the end of the first week, Claire practically forced Charles out of his seat, and while she still wore her hood, she spoke to him as his sibling. "You need to shower, eat something, rest. You're no good to me like this; you're no good to anyone like this."

Charles' personal assistant seemed to move to say something to Claire along the lines that she shouldn't talk to Charles in that way, but Charles waved him off. Claire was right. He couldn't help Toki if he couldn't focus all of his energy on finding him, and right now Charles had no energy left. He had some comfort in knowing that the search was going on without him, but even then he felt like he had to be the one to do lead the hunt.

Still, alone in his living quarters now, he obsessed over what he might be missing. His normally clean bedroom was covered in blueprints from the Tribunal, written passages of the prophecy, last seen sightings of Magnus and the assassin, even rumors of where Toki was (though these were not to be believed). Charles sat down on the couch, and immediately picked up the stack of papers he had on the table in front of him, starting to go through them. Somewhere in these papers, in these messages, emails, newspaper clippings, reports, sightings, there had to be a clue.

He was leaning forward, his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, when he heard a knock on the door. "Now isn't a good time." Charles said, though he didn't lift his head.

He was good at trusting his instincts, and he knew who was there. Despite everything, the man still made Charles' heart pound loudly.

"I don't care." Nathan said as he walked in and took a seat next to Charles. He set something down on the ground, and Charles lifted his head to see what it was – a six pack of beer, and Nathan was offering one.

Charles wanted to scream at him then, couldn't he find something better to do than drink? Couldn't he find a damn way to help? Instead, he just took the beer, twisting the top off with his hand, and tossed the cap on top of some papers. He took a drink and kept his eyes on the beer. "Why are you here?"

"I want…" Nathan trailed off, pausing and Charles wasn't about to cut into Nathan's train of thought. He had no idea what Nathan was thinking, because Charles wasn't even thinking clearly himself these days. He had one goal, and only one goal. Everything else had to be pushed to the side. "I want to know if you're okay."

Charles raised an eyebrow and looked over to Nathan, "What?" While he had known before, while they were still whatever they had been to each other, that Nathan cared in some respect, he didn't think he would ever actually hear it vocalized. "I'm fine."

"You're lying, and you look like fucking shit," Nathan pointed out, taking a drink from his beer, practically finishing half of it in one go. "I want the truth."

Shifting back into the couch, Charles set his beer between his knees and undid his tie, tossing it onto the table, and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. He hadn't been bothering to cover up his scar on his face now, though he wasn't sure if anyone had noticed that much. He hadn't been around the others enough for them to know. At this point, Charles knew he had no reason to hold back. He held back before and it cost him, and even when he told the boys everything, they still ended up losing Toki. "No."

"No?"

"No, Nathan, I'm not fine." Charles picked his beer back up and drank from it, before picking at the label. He inhaled sharply, holding his breath in as he looked up at the papers in front of him, and he realized that it might have been the first time in a year, possibly more, that he had admitted that. It wasn't just what happened a week ago, it was everything that had happened.

There was a pause between the two of them, and the fact that this was the first conversation they had in private since the submarine incident weeks ago was not lost on Charles. He wasn't sure if Nathan was having the same reaction.

"Uhhhh," Nathan started, and Charles glanced over to him.

"What."

"So, are you dead?"

"What?"

"You said you were known as –"

"Oh." Charles cleared his throat, "Do I look dead? No, it's…the name in the prophecy."

"But, you died."

"Yes."

Nathan took a large drink from the beer, finishing it off with his second drink and put the bottle on the floor. "What was it like?"

The question seemed innocent enough, but Charles couldn't help but flinch slightly. "You, well…" Charles shifted, taking another drink from his beer, taking a note from Nathan and taking a large drink before continuing, "Remember the, ah, nightmares I had?"

The memory of what they had shared months earlier, the good and the bad, wasn't something that Charles particularly wanted to relive, and apparently Nathan didn't either, as the other man's eyes fell to his hands for a moment as Charles continued, "That was what it was like. It wasn't…natural. I can't explain it." Charles' eyes dropped to Nathan's hands, and then dropped to his own holding his beer, before he finished the beer and held out his hand for another.

Nathan complied and handed Charles another beer. "Okay." Nathan watched as Charles opened the other beer and took another long drink. "So, is that where you've been going on those trips? That church?"

Charles just nodded.

"And the weird drawings on the wall are true."

Charles nodded again.

There was a tension between the two of them, and it was understandable. But as much as Charles wanted to give Nathan all the answers that he wanted – finally – he still wondered what exactly it would help. It wouldn't get them any closer to finding Toki and Abigail. It wouldn't help Nathan realize why Charles had to do what he did.

Or maybe, it would.

Charles hadn't realized that they had both been silent until Nathan cleared his throat. It brought Charles back to the present and he took another drink before looking at Nathan.

"Who was that woman?" Nathan finally asked, and Charles' expression changed.

"I don't really see why that matters anymore, Nathan." Charles spoke, his eyes focusing away from Nathan, focusing on the beer in his hand.

"Because it fucking matters," Nathan shot back, "You told everyone what happened when you left, you told us all about this…whatever the hell it was, and you can't tell me the one thing that matters?"

"How is that the one thing that matters?" Charles snapped, his frustration coming through, "I gave up my life for you. I went looking for clues to what was going on so I could make sure you were okay. I have spent the past year struggling with what the hell I am now, for you. I have wanted nothing to more to just protect you and the boys, and to stop whatever it is that is coming next and you want to focus on who the damn woman was? I don't even know what I am to you anymore, so why does this matter exactly?"

Charles finished his beer and pushed off the couch, walking away from Nathan, walking towards the papers piled on the table by the window, a computer there as well giving up-to-date information on the search and anything that had happened while he was gone. There was nothing new to report. He heard Nathan slam down his empty beer bottle and stand up, and Charles crossed his arms as he watched Nathan come towards him.

"Just tell me," Nathan growled behind gritted teeth, and Charles laughed. It was an emotion that he didn't expect to have, but it happened all the same.

"Her name is Claire." Charles finally answered.

"The gear has a name?" Nathan asked, "You fucked a gear? I'll fucking kill her—"

"You will do nothing of the sort, and I was not 'fucking' her, that's disgusting."

"Disgusting cause you're not into women?"

"Disgusting because she's my goddamn sister, Nathan!"

There it was. Nathan's facial expressions completely changed from anger to confusion, and Charles' emotions ran the gambit from blaming himself for not correcting Nathan when he originally had the chance, to hurt that Nathan had assumed Charles would have been with anyone else in the first place.

"Your…" Nathan started, but just stopped, confused.

Charles sighed and leaned against the wall, rubbing his brow for a moment, "She's been a gear for seven years. Earned the title like all the others have."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Nathan asked, and Charles knew better of what Nathan was really trying to ask. Why didn't you tell me?

"The…Tribunal would have found out. They would have had her killed. I couldn't risk that. It's not that I didn't trust you boys. It is that I didn't trust anyone."

Nathan took a few steps back until his feet hit the side of the couch, and he fell to sit on the armrest of the couch, and just looked at Charles.

Charles sighed, "Nathan, you have to believe me when I say she was all the ties I had left to my past life. She's all the family that I had at the time."

"At the time."

"Yes."

"What about now?"

"Does now matter?" Charles asked as he pushed off the wall and walked in Nathan's direction. He ended up walking past him, getting his beer and handed Nathan another one, sinking into the couch behind where Nathan sat on the arm rest, though still a distance between them. "What matters is finding Toki, and finishing the album, putting a stop to everything—"

Nathan shifted and fell off the armrest back onto the couch, practically falling on Charles in the process, seemingly doing it as planned. "You look like shit." Nathan said, looking Charles over and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"You interrupted me to tell me that I look like shit?"

"Yeah."

"Ah, okay."

Nathan drank and pointed a finger towards Charles, "You need to slow down."

Charles raised an eyebrow, "I need to slow down? Nathan, there are…Toki and Abigail are gone and we are not going to find them by just sitting here." He cleared his throat and moved to get off the couch, but Nathan put his hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Nathan, we can't just—"

"You're not going anywhere, Charles." A third voice spoke, and Claire stepped into the room, dressed in her suit still, her arms crossed, but hood off. She shared a glance with Nathan, who nodded.

"Claire, what are you doing, you—" Charles tried to get back up off the couch but Nathan just pushed him down again, and Charles looked at Nathan and then at Claire, "You told him?"

"Yeah," She said with a shrug as she walked into the room more, adjusting her glasses for a moment. "I ended up confronting Nathan yesterday. Or I think he confronted me."

Nathan just grunted, and nodded.

Claire shrugged, "Anyway, I explained to him the situation, why I was here, and that I didn't mean to cause anything between the two of you. Which," She brought her attention to Nathan, "I think he finally got once I beat it into him. So that brings me to our other topic of conversation," She came up to the table where the papers were, and glanced down at them, picking up one noting the last sighting of the Revengencers. "You."

"Me? Claire. Nathan. This...ah, this is strange, and for the record I was going to explain things, just now is not the time."

"You're no good to us dead, Charles. Despite you thinking that that might have worked the first time, yeah, no. It didn't." Claire raised an eyebrow, waving the paper in her hand around for a moment before dropping it back to the table. "I asked Nathan to look after you. You need to rest and you need to get your energy back."

So that was why Nathan had come in, because Claire asked him to. Charles wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse about everything. He decided that either way, it was a losing battle to even try to think of it logically.

"Fine." Charles said, as he finally just allowed himself to be defeated, which wasn't too hard for him to accomplish. Nathan's hand moved away from Charles' chest, and ended up very slightly resting on top of Charles' hand on the couch cushions between them.

"I promise if we get something, I will let you know. I promise you." Claire sighed and pulled her hood back on, "Do you know how hard it is to wear glasses under this fucking thing? Maybe I should get contacts."

Charles rolled his eyes in Claire's direction, and dropped his glance, his eyes finally falling on the position of his hand with Nathan's.

"I'll see myself out," Claire said, and nodded towards Nathan, "Brought you more beer, it's in the office." Soon after Claire left, the office door shut and was locked behind her.

Nathan stood up going out to the office and came back into the room with the beer, but also a few movies as well.

"Nathan, you really don't need to do this," Charles said, watching Nathan's every move around the office. He knew the intention wasn't to make him feel worse about the situation, but Charles couldn't help but think that he had to focus on other things, not on himself or whatever else was presenting itself to him. He had made his decision, and he needed to stick to it.

"Shut up, will you?" Nathan sat back down next to Charles and handed him a beer, while he finished his own and opened another. He put an arm around Charles' shoulders, "Relax. Your sister is fucking terrifying, you know that?"

"I taught her everything, you know." Charles said, raising an eyebrow towards Nathan.

Nathan laughed. "I know. That's why she's terrifying."

"Nathan, you can't tell anyone about her. Even you knowing could be bad, it could jeopardize everything if—"

Charles' worried ramblings was interrupted by Nathan's lips on his own. Unsure as to how he should react at first, his eyes were wide before he closed them and gave in, the fast but passion-filled kiss ending as soon as it began. Charles went to ask what Nathan thought he was doing, why he was doing this, why he was really here, but Nathan gave him a look that made him decide against it.

"We're watching a movie," Nathan stated in a matter-of-fact way, "You're going to relax, and you're not going to ask any fucking questions tonight. Deal?"

"One question. Just, ah, just one."

"Uhhhh, fine."

"Stay here tonight."

Nathan offered a small grin, "That's not, uh, a question."

Charles offered a small, be it a little weak, grin in return. "I know."

While he felt guilty doing this, falling back into old routines (if it could have been called that), Charles knew Claire was ultimately right. He was no good to anyone in a weakened position, and he needed the energy he had to find Toki, and to do what was needed to be done.

Which was why, deep down, he knew this couldn't last.

For now, he'd enjoy it while he could.