Chapter 21: Keep Lying

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The Great Hall was fairly empty for lunch. The students who had left for Easter break wouldn't be returning until the following afternoon and most of the students who stayed were in Hogsmeade. So, Regulus sat amongst the straggling first and second years, not in the mood to go down to the village. He was poking mindlessly at a sandwich on his plate. His appetite was non-existent due to the simple fact that Anthony had also chosen not to go to Hogsmeade.

Anthony was seated at his house table, eating with one hand and holding his book open on the table with the other. Though he wasn't looking at Regulus, he could feel the boy's eyes drilling into him from across the Hall. He marked his page and closed his book, then swiftly stowed away his glasses. He abandoned his plate, though only half finished with it, and headed out of the Great Hall.

Regulus jumped from the bench and trailed closely behind Anthony as he made his way to the library. He stopped at the doors and tried to pull his head together. He didn't want to go in without a plan, without some general idea of what he was going to say. He shoved his hands in his pockets and paced in front of the doors, breathing deeply.

Once Regulus was sure that he had lined out his thoughts, he pushed into the library and back to the couches. He stood in front of Anthony, staring down at him with cold eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He watched in silence as Anthony put away his book and looked up at him, expectantly.

"You were out there for half an hour and you still don't know how to say it," Anthony said quietly, a small smile on his face. "The words you want are I love you too."

Regulus narrowed his eyes and huffed. "I wasn't going to say that," he snapped. "You're bloody cracked if you think I could ever love you."

Anthony smiled again and took Regulus' hand, meeting no resistance. "Of course, you could never love someone like me. Someone with dirty blood, someone who would disgrace your family."

"That's right," Regulus answered, giving a small nod. He tugged on his hand, but Anthony held on to it tight. "I came to tell you that you have to stay away from me."

Anthony laughed and pulled on Regulus' hand, making him take a step forward. "You followed me, Regulus Black. You followed me to tell me to stay away? Now who's cracked?" He pulled on Regulus' hand again and reached out with his other one, wrapping it around the boy's leg. He pulled Regulus into his lap, straddling him, and locked his hands around his back.

"What are you doing?" Regulus asked, squirming in a small attempt to get away.

Anthony tightened his hold around Regulus's waist and lifted his head to meet the other boy's eyes. He lifted one hand and brushed it behind Regulus' neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Regulus gasped quietly and pushed down, returning the other boy's affection. He wrapped his arms around Anthony's neck and clung to him, tightly. Anthony trailed one hand down Regulus' back and pulled his lips away.

"What are you doing?" Anthony asked, mimicking Regulus' question with a grin. "Someone's going to see you."

Regulus let out a shaky breath and pressed his face into Anthony's neck. He closed his eyes and shifted closer against him. "I don't care," he whispered.

"Yes, you do," Anthony whispered back. He pushed Regulus on to the couch next to him and pulled off his glasses, stowing them in his pocket as he stood up.

"You're leaving?" Regulus asked, his tone suddenly angry.

Anthony looked down at Regulus with a crooked smile and held his hand out to him. "We're leaving," he said, simply.

Regulus took the boy's hand with no hesitation and allowed himself to be led out of the library and towards the Ravenclaw Tower. He hung his head as Anthony answered the question and led him through the empty common room. He let go of Anthony's hand as they stepped into the boy's dorm.

Anthony closed the door and pushed Regulus over to his bed, then shoved him down onto it. He moved over the younger boy and smiled when Regulus wrapped his arms around him, eagerly. He pushed their lips together, passionately and held on to him. Regulus was struggling for breath and closed his eyes, a painful look crossing his face.

Anthony pulled away and sat up on the bed, making Regulus whine and sit up as well.

"What...are...you..." Regulus shook his head and clutched one hand over his chest. "Come back," he said, barely getting the words choked out.

"Just calm down first, you can barely breathe." Anthony held up his hands and looked worried.

"Don't...care," Regulus manged to spit out. He moved over to Anthony and threw his arms around his neck.

Anthony pushed Regulus away as he tried to kiss him. "Regulus, just get your breathing back, I don't want to hurt you."

Regulus reached out and slapped his hand hard across Anthony's face and twisted his fingers into the boy's hair, pulling on it. He couldn't help but feel his actions were a bit girlie, but the look in Anthony's eyes made it clear that he had made his point. He stared at the boy with coldness in his eyes, his chest screaming for the air it was being denied. Anthony let out a sharp breath and pushed forward against Regulus, knocking him flat on the bed.

Anthony ignored the strained attempts at breathing that were coming from the other boy as he kissed him harshly and pressed down against him. After a minute, he raised up and roughly flipped Regulus onto his stomach. He slipped one arm around the boy's waist and pulled the button free on his pants. With his lips pressed to Regulus' neck, Anthony pulled down the top of the boy's pants until they were at his knees. He pushed on his own until they sat the same and moved against Regulus.

Sweat clung to both boys, sticking their shirts against their bodies as they moved violently. Regulus dug his fingers into the pillow and bit down on the edge of it to keep from crying out loudly. Shame swept through his body as he realized that he was enjoying the pain from Anthony's anger. He gasped for breath and felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. His eyes closed and he felt his own point of satisfaction near.

Soon after, Anthony fell onto the bed next to Regulus and pulled his pants up around his waist. Regulus rolled over onto his side and secured his clothes before looking at Anthony. He gave him a weak smile and swallowed hard, finally feeling his body even out. Anthony pulled Regulus into his arms and stared into his eyes. Regulus looked right back and moved his fingers, gently, across Anthony's arm.

"I love you," Anthony whispered, leaning in and pressing his lips softly against the other boy's.

Regulus returned the kiss, but pulled away from Anthony. "I don't love you, Anthony. I can never love you," he said pointedly as he climbed off of the bed. He turned and glared at the boy as he felt him grab his hand.

Anthony pulled Regulus into another kiss and locked their eyes. "I can tell when you lie, Regulus. Just tell me how you really feel about me."

"How I really feel about you," Regulus repeated. "I really feel that I hate you. I hate that you make me want you." He jerked his hand away and set his jaw with anger. "I hate that you make me so weak." He turned from Anthony's fallen face and quickly fled the Tower.

Regulus moved quickly through the hallways, his eyes on the floor. He didn't even recall entering the Slytherin common room or making his way to the bathroom. Next thing he actively remembered was standing in the shower, fully clothed. Scorching hot water poured over his shaking body as he heaved dryly, sick at the words he had spoken. He was thankful for his inability to eat that day. He stood in the water for a good two hours, his body still, his mind replaying the afternoon.

Regulus spell dried himself and headed into the dormitory. He moved to look at himself in the mirror and scowled at his reflection. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he growled at his reflection. "You're acting like a fool. A weak fool. You are not weak, Regulus Black, you are feared. You are going to be a Death Eater soon." His eyes flashed with anger and he grabbed the mirror from the wall.

He flung the mirror against the opposite wall and watched as the tiny, silver shards clattered to the floor. "Stop letting him make you weak!" he shouted at himself as he dropped onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him to block out the light.

Topher silently put away his things as Will and Regulus sat, waiting for him. They had arrived back at school over an hour ago and Will was eager to get outside and practice as Bellatrix had suggested.

"Look, I'm gonna head out to the edge of the forest," Will said, having had enough of Topher's stalling. "When this one is done, you two meet me out there." He gave a small huff and charged out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Topher glared at his brother's back and sat down on the edge of the bed when the door closed. "Are you really going to go out there and kill things? I know that you've done it before, but never with the curse."

Regulus nodded and raised one eyebrow at Topher. "What's the big deal? You're acting really weird, lately. You aren't...having doubts are you? About the future."

Topher's right hand mindlessly closed over his left forearm. He let out a nervous laugh and shook his head. "No. I'm not doubting anything," he said, pulling an innocent face. "Are you? I mean once you join up, you won't be offing cats. You'll be killing people."

"I know that," Regulus said with a shrug. He stood up and took a glance into his fixed mirror, smiling at his reflection.

"Killing Muggles and Muggle-borns, like Anthony," Topher said, walking over to Regulus and looking down his nose at him.

Regulus shrugged again and turned away. "Like I even care."

A loud crashing sound made Regulus spin around and drop his jaw. Topher had swept his arm across the top of Regulus' dresser, knocking everything to the floor.

"You're a fucking liar, Regulus! I'm supposed to be your best mate and you can't stop lying to me!" Topher shouted, his face red and his nostrils flared. "I'm going somewhere else. Don't you dare follow me," he growled as he took off out of the dormitory.

Regulus shook his head and made a confused face as he waved his wand over the mess in the floor, placing his belongings back into their proper place. He let out a heavy sigh and forced a smile onto his face as he headed outside to find Will. His eyes flicked momentarily as he passed the library, but he stood his course. He had already decided that he wasn't going to let Anthony call the shots anymore. He was going to be strong, he was going to be in charge.

Anthony grabbed Regulus' hand as he made his way back inside from the grounds. He pulled him over into an alcove and smiled down at him. "Want to sneak off behind the greenhouses for a while?" he asked, a slight laugh in his voice.

Regulus smiled up at him and nodded.

A Note From the Author: Any guesses on Topher's problem? Come on...some of you have to have it figured out by now. I know you do. For the ones who don't, it will be revealed in time, so just hang in there. Also, anyone care to place a guess on the mystery boy from Chapter 1? Let me know what you think of the chapter and Regulus' resolve to be the one calling the shots. :D -Jenna

Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.