Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own Twilight, New Moon or anything else relating to her. I also do not own any of the text stolen from the books.

Chapter 20 - Impatience

I had never before considered the philosophical problems of having to run and then hide out and wait. The thing was, after the adrenaline caused from meeting James, it was completely boring.

I'd known, when I'd woken up late that evening after sleeping most of the day, that my twenty-four hours was now up. My problem was, past that, I didn't know what I was hoping for. I didn't want Edward hurt – I knew that much – but I didn't want Alice or Jasper to be hurt either, and they were with me. So, would it be worse, if he came here and found me? Or if Edward found him?

As I woke up fully, looking around to determine where I was, I recognized the fake stone wall as belonging to the hotel I'd led them to, but past that, I was uncertain.

I had no memory of this room.

I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed it was three o'clock, but they gave no indication if it was night or day. No edge of light escaped the thick curtains, but the room was bright with the light from the lamps.

I rose stiffly and staggered to the window, pulling back the drapes.

It was dark outside. Three in the morning, then. My room looked out at a small housing area. It was new, the last time I'd been at this hotel, there'd been only a handful of houses. It was slightly comforting to be able to pinpoint time and place.

I looked down at myself.

I was still wearing the dress that Alice had insisted I'd put on back at the mall, but as I looked around I noticed laid out on the chair in the bedroom was a set of jeans and a t-shirt. I went over and grabbed them – finding a set of underwear beneath the clothes that would make my mom proud.

I grimaced as I picked them up after looking around for my bag and not finding it.

I changed into the clothes before there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Alice asked.

I took a deep breath. "Sure."

She walked in, and looked me over cautiously. "You look like you could sleep longer," she said.

I just shook my head.

She drifted silently to the curtains and closed them securely before turning back to me.

"We'll need to stay inside," she told me.

"Okay." My voice was hoarse; it cracked.

"Thirsty?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. How about you?"

"Nothing unmanageable." She smiled. "I ordered some food for you, it's in the front room. Edward reminded me that you have to eat a lot more frequently than we do."

I was instantly more alert. "He called?"

"No," she said, and watched as my face fell. "It was before we came to get you in Portland."

I followed her through the door into the living room of the hotel suite. I could hear a low buzz of voices coming from the TV. Jasper sat motionlessly at the desk in the corner, his eyes watching the news with no glimmer of interest.

I sat on the floor next to the coffee table, where a tray of food waited, and began picking at it without noticing what I was eating.

Alice perched on the arm of the sofa and stared blankly at the TV like Jasper.

I ate slowly, watching her, turning now and then to glance quickly at Jasper. It began to dawn on me that they were too still. They never looked away from the screen, though commercials were playing now. I pushed the tray away, my stomach abruptly uneasy. Alice looked down at me.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong." Her eyes were wide, honest... and I didn't trust them at all.

"What do we do now?"

"We wait for Edward or Emmett to call."

"And should they have called by now?" I could see that I was near the mark. Alice's eyes flitted from mine to the phone on top of her leather bag and back.

"What does that mean?" My voice quavered, and I fought to control it. "That they haven't called yet?"

"It just means that they don't have anything to tell us." But her voice was too even, and the air was harder to breathe.

Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.

"Bella," he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. "You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here."

"I know that."

"Then why are you frightened?" he asked, confused. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but he couldn't read the reasons behind them.

"If any of you get hurt because of me..." My voice was just a whisper, but I was sure they could hear me. I could feel tears in my eyes and I forced myself to blink them away. "This isn't how it's supposed to work. My bad luck is supposed to be mine alone. No one else is supposed to be involved or affected by it. If James harms Edward or Emmett... or makes it here and harms one of you... Alice apparently already escaped him once, she shouldn't be risking her life for me, none of you should be –"

"Bella, Bella, stop," he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this – none of us are in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!" he ordered, for I had looked away. "Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."

"But why should you –"

Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. "It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?"

My guilt slowly subsided as I looked into her dark eyes. But, even as the calm spread over me, I knew I couldn't trust my feelings with Jasper there.

It was a very long day.

We stayed in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to ignore our maid service for now. The windows stayed shut, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for me. The silver phone resting on Alice's bag seemed to grow bigger as the hours passed.

My babysitters handled the suspense better than I did. As I fidgeted and paced, they simply grew more still: two statues whose eyes followed me imperceptibly as I moved. I occupied myself with memorizing the room; the couch with the leather that was designed to look aged, it had seamless designs in the leather that looked like cracks in the fabric, but really weren't. I traced the pattern of the faux stone wallpaper and looked at the different paintings on the wall. One of the paintings looked like an old California orchard with several pickers taking the fruit – that could be apples, pears, peaches or even oranges – from the massive trees. But when one of the pickers in the painting who was wearing a plaid shirt appeared to look back at me, I immediately looked away.

As the day wore on, I went back to bed, simply for something to do. I hoped that by myself in the dark, I could give in to the terrible fears that hovered on the edge of my consciousness, unable to break through under Jasper's careful supervision.

But Alice followed me casually, as if by some coincidence she had grown tired of the front room at the same time. I was beginning to wonder exactly what sort of instructions Edward had given her. I lay across the bed, and she sat, legs folded, next to me. I ignored her at first, suddenly tired enough to sleep. But after a few minutes, the panic that had held off in Jasper's presence began to make itself known. I gave up on the idea of sleep quickly then, curling up into a small ball, and wrapping my arms around my legs.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yes?"

I kept my voice very calm. "What do you think they're doing?"

"Edward and Emmett are hunting those that are hunting you. Well, they're hunting James and Victoria – Laurent is absent in my visions. I don't know why. I know they're heading this direction at the moment and eventually will be heading north because they're going to try to lose Edward and Emmett, but the more distant future is murky – some things haven't been determined yet. You needn't worry though, Edward and Emmett are fine."

"Do you think they're safe, really?"

"Bella, how many times do we have to tell you that there's no danger to us?"

"Would you tell me the truth, though?"

"Yes. I will always tell you the truth." Her voice was earnest.

I deliberated for a moment, and decided she meant it.

"Tell me then... how do you become a vampire?"

My question caught her off guard. She was quiet. I rolled over to look at her, and her expression seemed ambivalent.

"Edward doesn't want me to tell you that," she said firmly, but I sensed she didn't agree.

"That's not fair. I think I have a right to know."

"I know."

I looked at her, waiting.

She sighed. "He'll be extremely angry."

"It's none of his business. This is between you and me. Alice, as a friend, I'm begging you." And we were friends now, somehow – as she must have known we would be all along.

She looked at me with her splendid, wise eyes... choosing.

"I'll tell you the mechanics of it," she said finally, "But I don't remember it myself, and I've never done it or seen it done, so keep in mind that I can only tell you the theory."

I waited.

"As predators, we have a glut of weapons in our physical arsenal – much, much more than really necessary. The strength, the speed, the acute senses, not to mention those of us like Edward, Jasper, and I, who have extra senses as well. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are physically attractive to our prey."

I was very still, remembering how pointedly Edward had demonstrated the same concept for me in the meadow.

She smiled a wide, ominous smile. "We have another fairly superfluous weapon. We're also venomous," she said, her teeth glistening. "The venom doesn't kill – it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that close, the prey doesn't escape. Of course, there are always exceptions. Carlisle, for example."

"So... if the venom is left to spread..." I murmured.

"It takes a few days for the transformation to be complete, depending on how much venom is in the bloodstream, how close the venom enters to the heart. As long as the heart keeps beating, the poison spreads, healing, changing the body as it moves through it. Eventually the heart stops, and the conversion is finished. But all that time, every minute of it, a victim would be wishing for death."

I shivered.

"It's not pleasant, you see."

"Edward said that it was very hard to do... I don't quite understand," I said.

"We're also like sharks in a way. Once we taste the blood, or even smell it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Sometimes impossible. So you see, to actually bite someone, to taste the blood, it would begin the frenzy. It's difficult on both sides – the bloodlust on the one hand, the awful pain on the other."

"Why do you think you don't remember?"

"I don't know. For everyone else, the pain of transformation is the sharpest memory they have of their human life. I remember nothing of being human." Her voice was wistful.

I frowned thoughtfully as we lay silently, wrapped in our individual meditations.

The seconds ticked by, and I had almost forgotten her presence, I was so enveloped in my thoughts.

Then, without any warning, Alice leaped from the bed, landing lightly on her feet. My head jerked up as I stared at her, startled.

"Something's changed." Her voice was urgent, and she wasn't talking to me anymore.

She reached the door at the same time Jasper did. He had obviously heard our conversation and her sudden exclamation. He put his hands on her shoulders and guided her back to the bed, sitting her on the edge.

"What do you see?" he asked intently, staring into her eyes. Her eyes were focused on something very far away. I sat close to her, leaning in to catch her low, quick voice.

"I see a room, it's relatively large, though not huge... it's split into two sections, an area with a fuzzy dark green carpet – shag likely from the seventies – and the other portion is a dark wood floor. There's a heavy oval shaped oak table on the section with the wood –"

I stepped back, because I recognized that room, but Jasper was so focused on Alice that he didn't notice my shock.

"Where is the room?"

"I don't know. Something is missing – another decision hasn't been made yet."

"How much time?"

"It's soon. He'll be in the room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all depends. He's waiting for something. And he's in the dark now."

Jasper's voice was calm, methodical, as he questioned her in a practiced way. "What is he doing?"

"He's on a phone, I can't hear what he's saying, in the dark, in another place."

"Can you see where he is?"

"No, it's too dark."

"And the room with the table? Is there anything else there?

"There's the lower half to a dutch door in the portion with the wooden flooring, the top have was broken and never replaced decades ago. It leads into a large kitchen. On the carpeted section, there's a giant red stain – from a spilled bottle of wine – next to a stairwell that leads up to a second floor. The stairwell looks like it's made of solid stone, but it's really wood," I said before Alice could.

Jasper turned his head to look at me. "You know the place?"

"It's my grandmother's house."

Alice pulled herself out of her trance-like state and they shared a look.

"What does it mean?" I asked.

"It means the tracker's plans have changed. He's made a decision that will lead him to that house. I don't see you there, though. So, it's not necessarily a bad thing, though it does mean he'll be close."

"But we don't know what leads him there?"

"No."

"I also don't see Edward and Emmett, so that means he's eluded them." Alice was unhappy about that.

"Should we call?" I asked. They traded a serious look, undecided.

And the phone rang.

Alice was across the room before I could lift my head to look at it.

She pushed a button and held the phone to her ear, but she didn't speak first.

"Edward," she breathed. She didn't seem surprised or relieved, the way I felt.

"Yes," she said, glancing at me. She listened for a long moment.

"I just saw him." She described again the vision she'd seen, including what I'd told her. "He's coming this way. Though he's not here yet." She paused. "Yes," Alice said into the phone, then spoke to me. "Bella?"

She held the phone out toward me. I ran to it.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Bella," Edward said.

"Oh, Edward! I was so worried."

"Bella," he sighed in frustration, "You should only be worrying about yourself." It was so unbelievably good to hear his voice. I felt the hovering cloud of despair lighten and drift back as he spoke.

"Where are you?"

"We're near Bellingham. Bella, I'm sorry – we lost him. I'm not sure we ever had him, actually. We were following what I believed was their trail, it smelled like all three of them, originally, but later it was just Victoria and James, and now the only one in the area now is the female." I could hear Alice filling in Jasper behind me, her quick words blurring together into a humming noise.

"What about Laurent?"

"His scent split off, heading west awhile ago. He may be heading towards Forks, though how he'd know you were from there, I have no clue. Carlisle and Esme are watching out for Charlie, just in case."

I thought fast. "Did you make it to Portland before he changed directions?" I asked.

"Yes, how'd you know?"

"My registration papers were in my truck, Edward."

It only took him half a second to figure it out. "Which would have your residence, of course."

"We'll protect your dad. He won't be hurt."

I believed that, because I now understood Laurent's place in the little threesome. He was the reconnaissance, which also meant he was going to be the least invested and the most likely to give up entirely.

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."

"Come and get it, then," I challenged.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." His voice was hard.

"I love you," I reminded him.

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

"Yes, I can, actually."

"I'll come for you soon."

"I'll be waiting."

As soon as the phone went dead, the cloud of depression began to creep over me again.

I turned to give the phone back to Alice and found her and Jasper bent over the table, where Alice was sketching on a piece of hotel stationery. I leaned on the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder.

She was drawing the interior of my grandmother's house in vivid detail. I swallowed and stepped back. I had no clue what was still in that house. I knew my mom had taken some of the furniture, but I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't still things upstairs, including information about my mom.

"Alice, is this phone safe?"

"Yes," she reassured me. "The number would just trace back to Washington."

"Then I can use it to call my mom."

"Why?"

"I don't know what is in the upstairs of that house, but my mom is flighty at the best of times, there's every possibility there is information that would lead him to my mother. If there's one sure way to get to me, it's through her or Charlie. She's in Florida with Phil currently, so even if he traces her to her home address in Phoenix before coming after me, he won't find her, but she could go home..."

"How will you reach her?"

"They don't have a permanent number except at the house – she's supposed to check her messages regularly."

"Jasper?" Alice asked.

He thought about it. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt – be sure you don't say where you are, of course."

I reached eagerly for the phone and dialed my mother's number. It rang four times, and then I heard my mom's breezy voice telling me to leave a message.

"Mom," I said after the beep, "it's me. Listen, I need you to do something. It's important. As soon as you get this message, call me at this number." Alice was already at my side, writing the number for me on the bottom of her picture. I read it carefully, twice. "Please don't go anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay, but I have to talk to you right away, no matter how late you get this call, all right? I love you, Mom. Bye." I closed my eyes and prayed with all my might that she didn't get some crazy idea would bring her home before she got my message.

I settled into the sofa, nibbling on a plate of leftover fruit, anticipating a long evening. I thought about calling Charlie, but I wasn't sure what I'd tell him. I was certain he hadn't found and read 'my note' yet, so I knew that he was currently assuming I was safe in Tacoma. If Carlisle and Esme were keeping him physically safe, I supposed there was nothing I could do. I concentrated on the news, watching out for stories about Florida, or about spring training – strikes or hurricanes or terrorist attacks – anything that might send them home early.

Immortality must grant endless patience. Neither Jasper nor Alice seemed to feel the need to do anything at all. For a while, Alice sketched the vague outline of the dark place from her vision, as much as she could see. But when she was done, she simply sat, looking at the blank walls with her timeless eyes. Jasper, too, seemed to have no urge to pace, or peek through the curtains, or run screaming out the door, the way I did.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for the phone to ring again. The touch of Alice's cold hands woke me briefly as she carried me to the bed, but I was unconscious again before my head hit the pillow.