Disclaimer: Anything you recognize? Doesn't belong to me.
Spoilers: Eh, no.
Pairings: All worked out for plot purposes.
Summary: Day after day, you face your reflection; living your lie. How long does it take before you face the facts?
Notes: Nothing that hasn't been said before..please R & R.
Thanks to: together, tieras, Emma, iaera, CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe and aussiewrestlingfan for the reviews!
Chapter Twenty: Degrees of Seperation
John Cena woke up the next morning, much like he had the morning after he had told Lita he loved her. Only this time, the former WWE Diva was at home, and he was on the road. And this time, Randy Orton wasn't one floor below him at the hotel..Randy Orton wasn't even in the same hotel. Not that it really mattered all that much to John at the moment, but still. Also this time, it wasn't Lita that he woke up to. He still saw blonde hair, but he was aware enough that it wasn't the former Diva's. Instead, it was a current Diva..and to be more specific; it was his drinking buddy from last night into the early morning. But, rather than focus on what had happened last night; he focused on the here and now. The first thing John noticed was that, they were in his hotel room. That really didn't strike him as odd or anything, but when he realized that Torrie Wilson was no where in sight..he worried. Beside him, Stacy Keibler still slept soundly..either the long legged blonde was just too hungover to open her eyes; or she was worn out from last night's drinking and dancing binge. Whatever the case, it didn't appear that Stacy would be moving anytime soon..which left John a few moments to think. Which perhaps was a dangerous thing to be doing at that time..and not just because his mind was a cluttered mess. Rather because, he couldn't really remember details from last night, only the bits and pieces. Added to that, the last thing he could clearly remember..was Dawn Marie informing him that Lita was with Randy. That bit of news had only intensified Stacy and John's urge to get shit faced. And by the looks of things now..they had done exactly that. Cena also gathered, that by his lack of proper clothing..they had done more than just that. This revelation disturbed John more than the fact that Lita was with Randy. At any rate, John came to the conclusion that as soon as the long legged blonde woke up; they needed to have a little talk about last night. However, when Stacy did start to stir, instead of greeting him in any form; she promptly made her way to the bathroom. And from his spot at the table, he could hear the blonde Diva paying homage to the porcelain god. Not that it surprised him too much, but still..here they were; John was deep in thought and Stacy was hurling her cookies. Had their situations been different, he may have been able to laugh at it all. But, things weren't and he couldn't. Instead, all he could do was kick himself continually. Because he knew full well, that was the very least that Lita would do if she found out about this.
"I am never drinking again," Stacy groaned as she finally exited the bathroom. "My head feels like it's gonna fall off."
John looked up from the table, noting that Stacy was still naked as a the day she was born. "Do you want to borrow a shirt or somethin'?"
"Thanks..but no." The blonde Diva grimaced, searching for her own discarded clothing. And once she had at least yanked on her shirt from last night, she flopped back on the bed. "Umm..did we?"
"Pretty sure," John muttered into his hands. "Are you?"
"No.." Stacy bit her lower lip, raking her hands through her tangled hair. "Did you.."
"I don't know."
"Shit," Stacy groaned, resting her forehead on her knees. "This is just fucking great."
John grimaced, "Took the words right outta my mouth."
Stacy scowled, and although John couldn't see it; he could hear it in her voice..somehow. "So, I'm sure that you're just as thrilled about what happened."
Cena rolled his eyes, raking his hands over his hair. "We don't have to tell them."
Stacy shot him an incredulous look. "So you expect me to lie to him?"
"I'm not about to pick up the phone, and tell her that I slept with you."
Stacy frowned, "I have more to lose out of this than you do."
John sent her a withering glare. "I don't think so Stacy."
The blonde Diva raised a brow, "Oh? I just fucked someone, someone that I might add that my boyfriend can't stand."
Cena rolled his eyes, "I know perfectly well that he can't stand me. For the record, I hate his fucking guts. But, you do not have more to lose than me."
Stacy let out an exhasperated sigh, "Right..like Randy is just gonna take this with a grain of salt."
"Yeah? And my girlfriend is gonna walk out of my life."
The blonde Diva looked up, "Girlfriend? Are you telling me that you and Lita are dating?!"
"Yes Stacy..Li an' I hooked up a couple of weeks ago." John buried his face in his hands, "I can kiss that goodbye."
"Wonderful," Stacy sighed, raking her hands through her hair. "Yet another reason that she can add to the list of why she wants to kill me."
"She'll probably kill me first, if it's any consolation."
Stacy scowled, "No it's not..cuz I know her. She holds a grudge and she will get her payback..probably by screwing Randy."
"An' now, I'm no better than he is." John shook his head, staring down at his hands. "I made the same fucking mistake."
Stacy raised a brow, a confused look on her features. "No you didn't."
John blinked at the blonde, "What drugs are you on? He slept with you--"
"No he didn't," Stacy said quietly, "I made it look like he did..but he turned me down."
There was a heavy moment of silence then, Stacy staring down at the bedsheet while John stared at his hands. At first, he thought she was lying..that she was just saying that to make him feel better. But then, how could he feel better after what happened even if Randy had slept with the long legged blonde in the past? This was the present..a point in time where John Cena found himself with Lita.
x
"Explain." John softly demanded after another spanse of silence. "I want to know what happened between you an' Orton."
The long legged Diva sighed, her eyes closing tightly as she picked through the distant memories. "Alright..Lita and Randy had just gotten into this huge fight. I can't remember about what exactly..just that I saw Randy leaving the hotel room in a huff. Lita left shortly after that..and when I went down to the bar at the hotel; Randy was there. I tried talking to him, but he didn't want anything to do with me..or anyone for that matter."
"Go on please."
"I hung around, sat with him in case he changed his mind about talking to me." The Diva sighed then, her eyes focusing on the ceiling. "It started out a lot like last night, only he was drunk and I wasn't."
John raised a brow, "So you're tellin' me, that even though he was drunk off his ass...he still turned you down?"
Stacy nodded slowly, "Yup..he kept rambling about how he couldn't do that to Lita, that he cared about her too much..blah, blah, blah. I tried anyway though..and it might have worked if she hadn't come back to the hotel."
"What happened then?"
"She started yelling about how they were supposed to be on their way to meet Chris, Dawn and..you I think." Stacy frowned thoughtfully, "Anyway, she got all huffy and walked out. I tried to reason with Randy, telling him that after he had that much to drink, he really shouldn't be driving. But he wouldn't listen."
"So he wasn't lyin'," John stated hollowly, "Damn it."
"Yeah, I guess he was just too hung up on her or something."
John frowned, "Then how did the two of you end up together?"
"Oh..that was mostly her doing. She practically gift wrapped him for me." Stacy smirked in spite of it all, "He was moping..he needed someone to talk to and eventually, that someone was me. I just sat back patiently, waited for him to come around. Everything else just fell into place, you know?"
"So you were pretty much a replacement for Li."
Stacy frowned, "I wouldn't exactly say that..but I guess I was in a way. Sometimes I think I still am."
John nodded slowly, "She's gonna kill me."
"More than likely," Stacy sighed, resting back against the headboard. "Randy'll probably thank you though."
John scowled, "Which brings me back to my original point..I'm not sayin' we don't have to say anything ever.." He shrugged, a brow raising at the blonde Diva. "Just that, they don't hafta find out right away."
"So, telling them the truth..just not now." Stacy frowned, "I don't like that but--"
"It's better than if we tell them now."
Stacy shot him a withering glare, "We just need to make sure that Torrie doesn't say anything. I'm pretty sure the rest of the roster was asleep by the time we got back so..."
"Agreed," John said quickly, "Now if you wouldn't mind? I really need to use the shower."
"Go right ahead," Stacy moved from the bed then, seeking out her skirt from last night. "I'll see you around."
Cena nodded shortly, waiting until the blonde had left before he tossed the nearest object at the wall. Not only did Randy not sleep with Stacy, but he had. He knew that Lita would be pissed off enough if she even suspected that he slept with the blonde Diva..but that he actually did it. To some extent, it struck him as odd, that he would make a similar mistake as Orton. But then, Orton hadn't really made the same mistake. All the same, John had to wonder. Stacy had all but admitted that she had been a replacement for Lita. And even though the former Diva denied the fact that he was a replacement for Randy; he began to think otherwise. He recalled full well, the many times that Lita had cried herself to sleep in the first few weeks they lived together. Given, part of it was brought on by the raging pregnancy horomones, but..he knew that most of it was because of Randy. He also knew that Randy had been a wreck, going out of his way to avoid Dawn, Chris..and especially him. But still, John didn't know if the former Diva still felt anything for Randy Orton. She never said she did, but then..she never really said she didn't. At any rate, as he stepped into the shower, John focused on one thing. And that was how in the hell was he going to explain this to Lita. John Cena could only wonder if things would ever be the same between them..and he could only hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him.
xxx
Meanwhile, back in Boston; Lita was waking up..for the sixth time since she had fallen asleep the night before. After reassuring herself that Randy's last words were drug indcued, the redhead still found sleep hard to come by. And it wasn't just what Randy had said; more like what it meant. She wasn't about to lie to herself, for at least a year after she had left; she had wanted to hear those words from him. When they were together, it was an unspoken understanding between them..she loved him and she knew he felt the same. But, still..they had never spoken the words to one another. And now, here it was, four years down the road..and he had said it. Only now, he was with Stacy and she was with John. Throughout her restless night, the redhead found herself reliving the past..all of the ups and downs that they had shared raced in her mind. It didn't exactly help that, when she was woken up by the nurse; Randy was the first thing her eyes spotted. For that she wanted to kill the well meaning nurse, whom was only doing her job..and at the same time. She felt thankful. The other reason for her restless state, was due to worry. Even if she and Randy hadn't seen much of each other in the past four years, the thought of losing him last night, frightened the redhead. More than she would ever willingly admit, and enough to remind her aching heart that she still cared for him. A part of her she tried to bury, was coming back full force. And now, the redhead didn't have the faintest idea as to what to do.
"Hey.."
The redhead blinked, rubbing at her eyes as she looked towards the source of the voice. "Morning."
"You stayed.."
Lita rolled her eyes, stretching her arms overhead. "Yeah I did..and let me tell you, my body is paying for it now."
Randy managed a smile, "You didn't have to stay."
The redhead raised a brow, "And what would you have done if I didn't? Please Orton, you probably would've checked yourself out and shown up asking why I left."
Randy smirked, "You know me too well."
"Even after all these years," Lita stated quietly, "How're you feeling?"
"Better.." Randy nodded slowly, reaching for the controller on the side of the bed. "I want to get the hell out of here."
"Well.." Lita shrugged, tucking her legs beneath her as best she could. "From what little I could hear..if all goes well when the doc. comes in, you'll be able to leave."
"Good," Randy pressed a button on the controller, releasing it when he was at a more upright position. "Cuz no matter where you are, the hospital food always sucks."
The redhead smirked, "Well there are a few places nearby..the 'nanny' is picking up Katie later, if you want we can meet them for brunch or something."
He yawned, "That works for me."
"Yeah well..I should probably call Dawn anyway." Lita stretched again, moving from the chair. "I need a decent set of clothes."
Randy smirked lazily, "Well there are plenty of these laying around.." He gestured down to the hospital gown he was currently sporting.
Lita raised a brow, pausing in the doorway. "No thanks. That backless shirt look doesn't suit me."
Randy chuckled wryly as the redhead left the hospital room, the Legend Killer left to his own thoughts as she disappeared. He found himself drifting back to last night..or at least everything that had occured before dessert. Truth be told, Randy still wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to kiss her. But thinking back on it now, he didn't regret it. Given, Stacy wouldn't exactly be pleased if she found out that he had kissed his ex-girlfriend..and John would more than likely want to kill him. Still though, at that moment, it had felt like the right thing to do. Maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe it was the was the way she looked..but maybe it was just meant to happen. Whatever the case, his eyes closed; Randy recalling the moment in his mind. He had been growing frustrated by her lack of response to his questions..and equally frustrated by her subtle responses when they had been dancing. He still knew her well enough that, if she really was uncomfortable, she would've declined to dance or ended things well before they had the chance to take off. Being that close to her, holding her like he had, it all felt right. For once, he was holding the right woman. But, whether she felt the same, he really couldn't say. At any rate, he was soon shaken from his thoughts as the doctor on duty popped in. He could see the redhead just outside the hospital room; Randy figuring that she was talking to Dawn. And just as Lita had stated, the doctor on duty checked him over before declaring that he was free to go.
xxx
Exactly half an hour later, found Randy and Lita in Randy's hotel room. Lita was currently watching television, while Randy was in the shower. She had informed that, Dawn would be on her way there as soon as she got Katie. That left them with a little over an hour to wait, and at this time..they still had half an hour left. But even though the television was blaring, Lita was focused on anything but. Her thoughts drifted between the man whom was currently in the shower..and the man that she had been living with for the past four years. The redhead had admitted to herself, that yes..she still loved Randy Orton, but at the same time; she didn't know the extent of her feelings for John Cena. A part of her knew that, she could easily fall in love with him; but would it be so easy now that her feelings for Randy were coming to surface again?
"I never knew you were a fan of.." Randy blinked, toweling off his hair as he walked across the hotel room. "Spanish soap opera?"
Lita blinked, shaking herself out of her thoughts. "Mexican soap opera actually."
Randy nodded, tossing the towel on a nearby chair. "What's on your mind?"
Lita raised a brow, thankful beyond belief that he was dressed. "What makes you think that?"
"Come on now, Li.."
"JohnandIaredating." Lita blurted out quickly, "We started dating two weeks ago..something like that. A few days after we got back from Phoenix."
Randy nodded slowly, settling on the opposite end of the bed from her. "I see.."
Lita sighed, raking her hands through her hair. "I would've said something sooner, but--"
"Just forget it, alright?" Randy interrupted quietly. "And just forget about what happened last night."
The redhead blinked incredulously, "How the hell am I supposed to forget about last night?" She shifted so she was laying on her side, facing him; a finger pointing accusingly. "You kissed me!"
"And you kissed me back!" Randy retorted quickly, "Or are you already trying to forget about that part?"
"It was wrong," Lita stated sullenly, "That's all there is to it."
"Which part? That I kissed you, or that you kissed me back?"
Lita narrowed her eyes, "Both Randall."
Randy rolled his eyes, "Well forgive me Amy Christine."
"I just want to know.." Lita sucked in a sharp breath, propping her head in her hand. "Why?"
Randy half shrugged, "Because it felt right."
"Even though you have a girlfriend?"
"If you can call her that," Randy shook his head, "Things aren't as perfect as they seem."
Lita frowned, "That's not an excuse Randy."
Randy frowned, shifting so that he was facing her. "And I'm not using that as an excuse Li. I told you why I kissed you. Why did you kiss me back?"
Lita's eyes fluttered shut, the redhead sweeping her hair from her face. "I don't know."
"Don't do this to me now." Randy inwardly sighed, waiting until her eyes locked with his. "Tell me."
She opened her mouth to respond, but the words would not come. The former Diva searched for an answer..only to come up short. "Because I.."
Randy raised a brow, "That's a start.."
"Why did you tell me you love me?" Lita questioned quietly, the redhead finally breaking the stare down.
"You heard that?" Randy rubbed the back of his neck in thought. "I wouldn't have said it, if it wasn't true..you should know that."
"I do," She said quietly, "And that bothers me more than the fact that you said it."
Randy frowned in thought, searching her face for any signs. "Answer me this, Li..why did you let me kiss you?"
Lita smirked in spite of it all, "You kinda forced that."
Randy raised a brow, but instead of arguing. "Then why did you kiss me back?"
"I--"
"Li, look at me." Randy waited until she had complied, the distance still between them physically. "Last night, I asked you if you felt the same way I do. Do you?"
Lita gulped, tearing her gaze away from him. "I can't answer that."
Tentatively, he moved closer. "You can't or you don't want to?"
Hazel orbs fluttered shut, the redhead sensing that he was closer. "I can't."
"Look at me," He commanded softly, "Please."
Her eyes opened, the redhead's breath catching at the look in his eyes. "What?"
x
Randy responded by closing the distance between them, his mouth just brushing over hers. And at first, Lita started, instincts perhaps, leading her to grasp at the back of his neck. Whatever the case, she found herself lost in the moment..and in him. The redhead uncaring as his tounge darted forwards, gently pleading for an enterance. And it was at that moment, that the logical part of her kicked in.
"Don't do that," She commanded as she pushed him away. "We can't do this."
"Then don't kiss me back," He whispered harshly. "Don't fight what you want."
Her eyes narrowed, the redhead warning sharply. "Don't tell me what I want."
Randy scoffed, his mouth curling into a sneer. "I can see it in your eyes Li...you can't hide that from me."
Lita's nostrils flared, "Don't play games with me Orton..you know this is wrong."
His eyes softened then, "Then why does it feel right? Huh? If it's wrong, then why did you kiss me back?"
Lita blinked, the redhead searching her mind for words. "It's just wrong Randy..what about Stacy and John?"
"I don't give a damn."
Lita's lips pressed into a firm line. "Well I do. I can't do this to John."
Randy raised a brow, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "Then answer me...I can see it in your eyes Li."
"Answer what Randy?"
The corner's of his mouth turned up into a sad smile. "Do you miss us? Do you feel the same?" He raised a brow, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do you love me?"
Again, the redhead was at a loss for words, and again..Randy kissed her. But this time, instead of Lita pulling away; they stopped when there was a sharp knock at the door. Lita hurridly wiped at her eyes, practically running to answer the door. And for his part, Randy shook his head. He could only wonder what would have happened if Dawn hadn't shown up at that moment. Granted, he wasn't expecting for the redhead to just jump into things..and honestly; he didn't want that. All he wanted was an answer. And a verbal answer..not just the answers he could see plain as day in her eyes. Whatever the case, he didn't have much time to think further on it, as Katie came barreling into the room..and straight to him. Lita excused herself to the bathroom, while Dawn sat down on the couch. And while they waited, Randy sat with his daughter; he wondered why her mother was so stubborn..and he wondered if they could be a family. Looking down at the excited four year old, part of him wanted to say yes. Katie was obviously accepting of him..and she had been practically from the moment he met her. But, it was Lita who remained the biggest question and the biggest factor. Of course, there was also John and Stacy; but in the end..it was really Lita. Would she want what they had before? Or would she close that door forever? Randy Orton could only wonder if she would reopen that door..and he could only hope that there was still a chance.