Disclaimer: I'm gonna stop putting up disclaimers. If you haven't gotten the message by now…
Note: This chapter is dedicated to two people in my life. To my friend, Adam, Happy Birthday! And Mary who is taking me to see 'Wicked' on Friday! Thank you
Eclipse chapter 20:
That afternoon when I examined myself in the mirror I found that I hadn't known half the extent of my own injuries. Edward had driven me home and after closing myself in the bathroom I had stripped naked to find my skin covered almost completely covered in the purple markings that would remind me what had happened for weeks to come. My legs were hurt from the many times I had kicked Jake to get him away from me, my back was cut up from being slammed against the rocks that lined first beach and last but not least, there was a deep cut spreading from beneath my ear to my jaw line where Jacob had hit me. I was in bad shape.
I was sore everywhere from the attack and I tried to wash all the memories that kept replaying in my mind away with a shower. I stood under the water for a while and I began to sob again. I scrubbed at the bruises futilely trying to wash them off until my skin was raw, but they wouldn't disappear as I wanted them to. Frustrated, I threw the soap to the ground before my own knees gave out and I curled up in a ball in the shower, trying to make the world fade. A moment later I heard the bathroom door open and Edward walked in. He picked me up bridal style, not caring that I was naked, and wrapped me tightly into a towel to keep me warm. He carried me back to my room and set me carefully on the bed before he disappeared for a half a second, only to appear again with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. He placed it in front of me, but I silently shook my head.
"You really should drink something." I was surprised by the sound of his voice. That was the first thing he had said to me since picking me up earlier.
"I'm fine, thanks." I replied, but my own voice made it sound very much the opposite. My voice sounded airy and scratchy and it caused me physical pain to speak. It was like having an awful case of strep throat, but with a horrid backstory. Frowning, Edward offered me the glass again and this time I accepted. The hot chocolate felt good as it slid down my throat, easing the pain slightly.
"Thank you." I said. He nodded and sat down on the bed near my feet and looked at me with a strange expression on his face. There was hurt and worry (I kinda expected that), but it was also mixed with…jealousy? He had that look that he normally had when he thought about Mike Newton, but this look was much more intense. I couldn't even guess at what he was thinking. I finished the glass and set it down on my bedside table and waited for him to start questioning, but he didn't. He just continued to stare at me with that same look.
"What?" I asked him.
"Bella, did Jacob rape you?" He stared at me with obvious pain at the thought that another man might have touched me like that.
"No." I assured him instantly, "he just tried to kill me." Rather than his rage receding, it grew as he finally was able to wrap his head around the concept.
"I'm going to kill him." He muttered, as he moved to get up.
"No!" I spoke softly, but forcefully as I grabbed his wrist. "Please, Edward, don't go. Stay here, stay with me." He didn't look pleased with my request, but he sat down all the same. I slid my hand down from his wrist to twine my fingers with his own.
"Your hands are cold." He stated as the fingers from his other hand traced the bruise markings on my wrist.
"So are yours." I said with a small smile. He smiled too, for a quarter of a second. Then he got up and grabbed me some clothes from my drawers. I made him turn around as he got dressed. It wasn't that I was shy (well, partially it was), but he still hadn't seen the many scrapes and injuries on my back to the best of my knowledge and I wanted to hide as much of that from him as I could. He didn't need to see that. I dressed in a pair of black sweat pants and a red tank which I threw an oversized sweatshirt over. Alice had obviously slipped this into my wardrobe as it read 'Dartmouth' in big green letters. I think that was the last place that she and Edward had attended medical school before coming to Forks. The phone rang.
"I'll get it." I said in a normal voice before I headed downstairs. It was probably Charlie saying he was gonna be home late. My throat was still scratchy, but it sounded miraculously better than it had before. Edward followed me with watchful eyes as I went into the kitchen as the phone rang a second time. I recognized that look.
"You're not seriously waiting for me to go into shock, are you?" I asked, grabbing the phone. Edward leaned against the counter and smiled crookedly at me. It didn't reach his eyes. "Hello?" I said into the phone.
"Bella? God, I'm so sorry!"
I sighed. "Jacob."
"Bella, please forgive me."-His innocence and sincerity rang with each word- "I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't thinking strait-"
"Jacob, stop." I didn't care about his excuses anymore. "I can't forgive you for this one." How are you supposed to forgive someone after they've tried to kill you? I want to forgive him, but I just can't. In fact, I just want to forget him altogether.
"Bella?" The idea of me saying this had never occurred to him, apparently.
"I don't care anymore Jake. I've tried being your friend, but that just isn't enough for you. And I can't do this anymore. You're not sorry, I know you're not. Don't call me anymore, don't try to find me. Please, Jacob, just let me forget." There was silence on the other line for a brief moment before he started to fervently beg for me to reconsider.
"Bella, we can be okay again. I swear, I'll never do anything like that again. I could never hurt you-"
"You already have. Goodbye." All emotion left my face and my voice as I hung up the phone and abandoned Jacob Black forever.
All this time I was wasting, Hoping you would come around
I'd been giving out chances every time And all you'd do is let me down
And it's taken me this long baby But I figured you out
And you think it would be fine again But not this time around
You don't have to call anymore; I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I won't believe you baby, Like I did before
You're not sorry, Oh, no, no, no
Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got to share your secrets And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen 'Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore; I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I won't believe you baby, Like I did before
You're not sorry, No, no, oh.
You're not sorry, No, no, oh.
You had me crawling for you baby And it never would have gone away, no
You used to shine so bright, But I watched all of it fade
So you don't have to call anymore; I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw, There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby Like I did before
You're not sorry, No, no, oh
You're not sorry, No, no, oh
You're not sorry by Taylor Swift
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Ahhh, drama over. Thank God. You have no idea how hard that was for me to write. Taylor is making it too hard for me to hate Jacob! He's too wonderful! ARRGHH! Well, it's over. For all of you who think that Bella should have done this in the original series, I entirely agree and I'm happy that she finally has. I guess I really don't have much to say besides that…oh wait!
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Oh, and I should warn you guys: I only have a few more chapters to go until the end